New Clothing, New Thoughts

I'd love to hear about what you resonated with or if you have any questions for me. I'm here to continue these conversations on and off air. So today is a super special day because I'm launching one of the most significant things I've ever done in my career, like ever. I mean, this podcast is pretty cool and all, don't get me wrong, it's just that what I'm launching is going to create a new paradigm for women all over the world.

This paradigm is going to help women love their bodies and deeply implement this work into their lives. Through my new high level group coaching program called The New Sexy. I am so excited, and of course I ended up getting a viral eye infection two days ago. I just found out last night that since it's viral, it's going to take at least a week to clear up and it really freaking sucks that I'll have to go live and create reels with a puffy pink eye.

But there's no way I was pushing off this launch. This timing feels so right. I know there are so many women who are waiting for this, and I'm so ready to invite you all into this beautiful body, positive, empowered community that is about to form. I try to see things in my life as happening for me instead of to me. So even something as annoying as an eye infection. I'm curious about why the universe decided to send me this just days before such an important launch.

Maybe it's a reminder of my strength or resiliency. Maybe it's helping me see how meaningful this program is for me and that I wouldn't let discomfort get in the way. Maybe I'm supposed to be paying more attention to my body. Maybe I need a little bit more rest and I should slow down a bit. I'm really open to whatever it may be, and I am grateful for it. I know it's part of the bigger picture.

I am a little woowoo guys, but you know, this girl still likes to swear and likes to twerk, and you definitely can't put me into a spiritual or religious box. Anyway, I am going to talk more about the group coaching program at the end of this episode, but firstly, I wanna get to talking about something that you can apply today if you want to.

Okay, so I wanna start by saying that I did a boudoir session for myself a couple weeks ago, and it wasn't my first boudoir session, but it was definitely the most life-changing one. For those of you who are wondering, who photographed me, my husband Shua did. He is so talented. He's actually my business partner in this boudoir and coaching business.

While he doesn't do the actual photography anymore, he really showed up for this session and took some of the most incredible photos I've ever seen of myself. But even though that was the end result, there were a lot of emotions I experienced before, during and after the boudoir session, and I'm really looking forward to sharing that with you. Because not all of these emotions were easy.

I had to really lean into the discomfort, and because I did, I learned so much about myself and even created deeper processes for my clients as I experienced these things. I think I need to be doing these boudoir sessions way more often. It completely upleveled my self-concept and confidence in a way that was so natural, but wouldn't have come without this push.

Okay, so I'm not gonna go into everything about my boudoir session today, but I do wanna talk about one of the most uncomfortable things that happened leading up to the session. So my husband surprised me with this gorgeous piece of lingerie from Lounge Underwear. It was sapphire blue, super sexy, and strappy, something I've never worn before. It had a suspender belt and those straps that go around your thighs. Super fucking hot, y'all.

I was so excited that it actually came in time for the session, and I ran into my bedroom to put it on the moment the delivery came, my husband jumped into the room too and laid on the bed as I tried it on. We were both expecting sexiness and excitement, but, the moment I tried it on, I got this knot in my stomach. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought to myself, "oh my God, I cannot pull this off." My soft stomach was in full view. My love handles and fat were hanging off the sides.

I felt so exposed. So unlike the picture I saw in the catalog. I almost cried. I think I was just too stressed to cry honestly. It's funny how we can know that our body doesn't look like the models, but then still expect for it to look somewhat the same on us. That's why I think it's so important to have body diversity in the fashion world. When we see bodies that look like ours, we feel seen. We feel like our bodies are normal because they are.

Anyway, I need to remind you that all of these emotions came after years, after a decade of working on my own body image. This is me in a place of lots of compassion and self-love that I've cultivated for myself. And for a second I was even like, oh my gosh, I'm the body image coach. I'm not supposed to feel this way. I pretty much knocked that one down quickly because thoughts are just thoughts. They do not define us. I allowed myself to feel. That was the first step.

I'm going to take you through my process so that you can do it for yourself. Next time you put on a new piece of clothing or lingerie and you don't like the way your body looks in it, or you start to get down on yourself, you can go through these steps and I promise you that it will shift you towards body acceptance. The small shifts are the biggest one on this kind of journey, so number one, I allowed myself to feel my feelings. I felt the discomfort. I looked at myself in the mirror.

I took a few pictures of myself, and I allowed myself not to like it. I didn't say, "I'm a body image coach. I'm not allowed to feel this way." Or try to convince myself out of my discomfort. I sat with it. I allowed the pain to be in my body, in my throat, in my chest, in my stomach. I felt it all. The second step is normalize it. I spoke it out with my husband. I said, I've never worn anything like this before. Of course, it would be weird to see it on me for the first time.

Also, it's normal to have thoughts about our body. Just because I've come a long way on my journey doesn't mean I live under a rock. There is diet culture all around me every single day. Of course, my brain would compare my body to the model who was wearing this exact piece. Of course, I would think that the lingerie should look a certain way. It's okay that I'm feeling like this and it's normal that I'm feeling like this.

I remember that I followed this amazing body positive influencer online, Nelly London, and she often wears strappy lingerie on her gorgeous curvy body. I actually went to her Instagram while I was wearing the lingerie and saw her wearing the exact same piece. It was so cool. I felt the sense of relief when I looked at her and thought she looked beautiful in it, and it was similar to how my body looked in it. I felt normal. I felt seen.

The third step of shifting your thoughts about your body is genuine positivity. I looked in the mirror and I said out loud the things I really liked about my body in this lingerie. Okay, I love how my boobs look. They look amazing." "It's really a nice color on my skin tone." "The straps around my thighs with the suspenders are really fucking hot. I love that look." "It looks great from the back too." "Oh my God, look how good my ass looks when I stand like this."

I realized there were certain angles and parts of the lingerie I loved so much that I didn't wanna just return it. I decided to keep the piece of lingerie. I really liked it enough to keep it for the shoot, and I started reorienting and focusing my brain on the positive. What you focus on becomes more in focus. I learned that pretty early on in my career as a photographer. Something that may be helpful for you is taking a selfie of yourself in the outfit. Show off the parts that you do love.

Put yourself in a pose that shows off the things you like and have fun with it. The fourth step is to give yourself time and space. For the next few days, before the session, I gave myself the time I needed to feel the leftover feelings. I felt much better than I did about it when I first tried on the lingerie, but I still needed some time and space to process everything. Time and space could mean letting those feelings be there. It could mean extra self care.

It could mean more sleep, more movement, perhaps some time with friends. It means not pushing yourself to feel or be anything, acceptance of where you are in the present moment. Finally, the last step is exposure, and that may look different for different women. It could mean wearing the outfit, doing the photo shoot, going on a date with the outfit, doing the thing you're scared of doing. Letting yourself go a little bit outside of your comfort zone on your own terms.

For me, it was doing the boudoir session and using that piece of lingerie. On the day of the session, I had this one thought in my mind, and you can borrow it. "Showing up as I am is powerful." I have a detailed preparation guide for my clients leading up to their boudoir session. And truthfully, I didn't do everything on the list. I felt a little thrown off by the whole lingerie debacle and other things going on in my life.

But I've always had this idea that if you show up as you are to your boudoir session without trying so hard, without having to prove anything, without changing yourself, then looking back on the beautiful pictures will be that much more powerful. You can say, "that is me." That recognition of both humanness and beauty at the same time is what it's all about. With that in mind, I was totally present on the day of the shoot. After hair and makeup, I felt so ready to be photographed.

We put on a Sam Smith inspired playlist and I was in the zone. I felt so good in my body, so sexy. I noticed the things about my body that I noticed before, but they didn't bother me. I actually liked the way they looked. I even posted a video of myself dancing in that piece of blue lingerie. It was unbelievably healing and empowering. It gave me a deeper sense of belief in my work, and an upleveled concept of myself and how authentically I could allow myself to be expressed in this world.

It was so fucking cool. Okay, so let's quickly go over the steps for shifting your thoughts about your body in a new outfit. Number one, feel your feelings. Number two, normalize it. Number three, genuine positivity and shifting into gratitude. Number four, give yourself time and space as needed. Number five, exposure. Get the fuck out of your comfort zone at your own pace, on your own terms. You might wanna rewind that and write those down.

If you really go through these steps, you will find yourself in a place closer to body acceptance, and you will definitely have more compassion for where you are at. This is the process that I use with my clients to help shift their thoughts about their body. It is our thoughts that create our feelings, that inform our behaviors, and ultimately create the results of us loving our bodies or not loving our bodies.

I don't think that body image only boils down to our thoughts, but it is a part of it. Ultimately I see body image work as holistic, meaning that when a woman comes to me to improve their body image, I would help them look at their lives as a whole and discover what to work on first. Everything is interconnected to how we see our bodies. So speaking of, I promised you all I'd get back to the big launch today. This program is really like nothing I've ever created, or anyone else has ever created.

It's a 12 week program dedicated to women feeling sexy naked, yes, naked, and loving what they see when they look in the mirror. It's for women who are ready to shift into a new paradigm where women are enough, exactly how they are. Where the goal won't be to get smaller and smaller, but for them to shine brighter, to step into their power in a way that feels right for them.

It's a virtual group coaching program that is going to be starting January 1st with high level group coaching calls weekly. There will be learning modules with everything from learning about mindful eating and movement, to sexuality and pleasure, to being our authentic selves. The most amazing thing here is that these women are going to have a community of like-minded women, outside of the diet culture that is totally and completely pervasive in our everyday lives.

We're creating something new here so that we can deeply internalize a new set of beliefs about bodies and redefine what sexy means for us, and actually feel it. This is for a woman who is committed to herself and to her growth. A woman who loves the idea of body positivity, but just can't seem to apply it to herself, who sees other women embracing their bodies and is inspired, but doesn't know where to start. This is where to start.

This is the actual framework for you to step into your next level self and embrace your body as it is. This is where you're going to feel sexy and free, where you're going to allow yourself to wear what you want, to eat whatever the fuck you want, and be the woman you are always meant to be. I'm so fucking excited. If this sounds like something you're interested in, reach out to me so we can set up a free discovery call for you. I'll put the information in the show notes for sure.

I love discovery calls because they're a chance for us to get to know each other for you to gain clarity about yourself and truly see if it's the right fit before you enroll. If it is, we'll go over all the details and what it takes to get you started. It's only day one and I already have an incredible woman enrolled and all in. If you wanna be part of this too, don't wait. We'll be starting the program, like I said on January 1st, so it's perfect for starting the new year with you, being you.

Just a more expressed, authentic, loving version of yourself. No diet resolutions here. Woohoo. Can you even believe that we're creating a new reality without that bullshit? It's just amazing. Okay, I can't wait to hear from you. I hope you enjoyed this episode about shifting your thoughts about your body in a new outfit, and I'll see you next week on the Body Image Revolution. I love you guys.