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And welcome back to George Norry along with doctor Donna Marx. Our books are called Healing, Moment, Exit Amaze. You've got a live Facebook program you're working on, Donna, don't you.
Yes, we are going to be launching on a course live on Facebook, a three day challenge to help people embrace their miracle moment or their New Year's resolution, however you want to look at that. And we also are going to be offering an online course for people who want to stop a particular behavior or start a new one. So we are here to help and support people who are ready and willing to transform themselves.
What are some of the great points for people to keep their resolutions?
Well, first of all, make sure that you're ready to do it and to be committed. That's the biggie. And as I said earlier, to make sure that you're specific about what you're going to do. You can't just say you want to save money. How much money do you want to save every week? And where are you going to put that money? So it's not easily accessible and you can just justify spending it. So you have to
really have a concrete plan, don't get distracted. It's so easy to listen to that part of the mind that says, oh, I don't really feel like doing that this week or today, I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it later. That is a killer because it will not work. You have to do it now. You know that expression do it now. Don't even listen to the part of the mind that says, do it later. Later doesn't exist. We don't know that we even have it later. So doing it now is
very important. And then getting support. If your family isn't going to support you, find people that will so that you can stay on track. And the biggest thing, the real biggie, is that you have to be willing to be uncomfortable. Whenever you make a big behavior change, you get uncomfortable just thinking about doing that thing, but there's
no growth in staying the same. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable to experience the miracles that come from these New Year's resolutions, or any type of resolution anytime in your life. It's not comfortable to change. It's not comfortable to feel like you're giving up something that you like doing, even if it's not good for you. So when you're willing to be uncomfortable, you've taken your
power back. And that's really the key here is that you're willing to have your whole self, all of yourself, and your brain, which is your command center, is now under your control instead of something else that's not good for you.
Donal Why is it easier for some people to change and to commit and others have a difficult time doing that?
Well, some people enjoy growing. Some people really get excited with making us kind into changes and they like, this is what happens. Most people do not understand what self love means. So once you start saying, once you start claiming your power and you claim that you're going to make some changes and then you succeed, you feel better and better and better about yourself, and that builds an
internal momentum that makes you unstoppable. So you have more energy, You feel positive, you feel connected, You go out into the world on fire like you are. George. I hear it in your voice on your show and you're just doing your thing and you're bringing in all these amazing subjects. So people that are embracing that life never stays the same. And I want to keep growing and changing. They do much better than someone who's like, no, no, no, that's
not comfortable for me. Yeah, maybe that kind of thing, and the negativity, the fear based people, the people that live in fear, they aren't willing to be uncomfortable. They aren't willing to step out of what they're doing all the time. They're in patterns. They're comfortable enough, and so they settle for less and they never really achieve that level of self love that makes life a wonderful, exciting, fiery turned on experience.
You're on with me in April of twenty twenty three talking about your book Healing Moment. But tell us again about that title, Healing Moment. What does that mean.
It's when the light bulb goes off in the mind. It's when you are thinking something's not right here, or something terrible has happened to you. Maybe you're going through a divorce, or maybe you had an accident, or maybe you lost your job, or you had a bad breakup, and the light bulb goes off and you see something totally different than rather than seeing it from a place of fear and sorrow and grief. This amazing insight comes to you that you're going to do something with this
and it's going to turn into a miracle. And that's the healing moment where instead of being a victim of whatever happened, you become empowered and find meaning and purpose in what happened and turn that into the miracle. It's all about learning how to love yourself, how to love other people. That's the only reason we're here.
You find that most people can make these things happen by themselves or do they need this outside help?
Well, I think that the biggest support is internally and then that need and then we need reinforcement from outside because when we are trying to since we're talking about New Year's resolutions, if someone's been smoking cigarettes for thirty years, they need support. Very few people can just make just swear off a habit and feed. Maybe one and ten million people can do that. Those are not very good odds.
Plus the fact that it's so much it's pleasant to have a support system and to have encouragement and the add of boys and you're doing this and that's great, and to be able to talk about those challenges emotionally from change, so that when we talk about being uncomfortable, you don't have to be uncomfortable because when you share that discomfort with other people who've gone through That's why
twelve step programs are so powerful. You have the support of people who are on the other side of the discomfort, and you're seeing their joy and happiness, so you know that you can have that too. So internally, to listen to that little voice that says you can do this, and you have that light bulb moment and you have that breakthrough, and then take that and go get the support that you need to be able to maintain that miracle.
What creates an addiction, Donna, Well.
That's a very good question, and I think that it's created externally. I believe that it's nobody's fault as they've become addicted. The first time I slept a cigarette, I couldn't wait to smut finish the whole pack. I mean, it was just unbelievable. Things are made to get us addicted. It's intentional. People study behavior, they study the brain, and then they invent things in order to get people addicted.
Whether it's cigarettes, whether it's alcohol, whether it's pornography, whether anything. Sugar is like crack cocaine in the brain, we now know, and then they refine it now and high fre those corn SUPs, so it becomes more and more addictive. So what happens is the brain wants more the minute that the person's exposed to whatever they become addicted to, and then then they truly are a victim of what happened to them. I want people to take back their power
and control. If we never start these things to begin with, and we won't ever become addicted. But now we've got a whole new movement in addiction that's telling everybody that, oh, do you have a brain disorder and you've been born this way? Well, I think that we do develop a brain disorder. I certainly developed a brain disorder from torturing my brain with substances and alcohol and nicotine and all.
It became disordered. But it's perfectly fine now that I'm abstinate and that I'm healthy, so I don't need to take more drugs to deal with the drugs. It just makes no sense at all. So many mental health disorders are diagnosed prematurely, and people are put on drugs that alter their moods forever change their moods. And I'm not anti medication. There are people who need medication, but it's way over prescribed, and we have become a very addicted society.
And I think that it's time that we begin to raise our children, to teach them to love their brains, to love their lungs, to love their hearts, to love themselves, and to know how to eat healthy and how to play outside, and how to talk about their feelings in healthy ways and not act them out. It's really easy to raise healthy children. It just takes a little bit of effort to teach children that they deserve to treat
themselves with love and to be loved. And so once we have that kind of consciousness, we don't really want to put poison in our bodies. We don't really want to damage ourselves, we don't really want to disease our brains. We want to feel good about ourselves. And so that's what I really teach people when they come to see me and they have call it bad habits or addictions, I don't care what you call it. They had behaviors that aren't serving them, are making them unhealthy mentally or physically,
and they want to change. And so those people that I work with are willing to be uncomfortable and go through those steps that will help them to be free and reclaim their power and learn how to replace those behaviors with self love.
Last week I had Howard Reebeck on he's an expert on addictions to gambling. Is there a difference between an addiction to a physical thing like a drug or an alcohol as opposed to something that's more emotional.
Well, it's all emotional, and it's all giving me that same hit, that dopamine hit, that adrenaline, and not charge, So it doesn't matter what it is. Gambling has become a really serious problem. Pornography and gambling are really at the top of the list right now. Sex addiction as well, because people since the book Fifty Shades of Grade Tea were coming more and more into more and more things to get more and more turned on, and course, just like any addiction, the more you do, the more you need.
Pornography has become for young men, a very very serious issue. I've seen a lot of young men in my office that cannot sustain a relationship with a partner because they've become so addicted to pooring that they it's almost impossible to learn how to have healthy intimacy and gambling. Because of the phones and the laptops and the iPads, and that it's so accessible, people are just simply become addicted. Then they get financially in trouble before they ever even
realize it, and so then they get that cycle. I'll gamble my way out of it. That's like drinking your way out of alcoholism. It just doesn't happen.
Does the addiction somehow start when you're a kid, Now, not necessarily pornography or anything like that, but something within the human body to create the addiction.
Well, that's the current theory is that children are born with this brain disease. But I don't believe that there's hundreds of millions people with addictions. So I don't believe that the babies are born with that many babies are born with brain diseases. I think that there is a genetic factor that if you have addiction and your family you are probably more likely to develop an addiction. But there's no gene that says you have to smoke, you have to drink, you have to watch porn or gamble.
There's no gene that dictates that you ever start doing that. That's why we need to raise our consciousness to a whole new level. Maybe some of these aliens that are coming here are trying to deliver that message to us that we need to start loving ourselves instead of medicating ourselves so much and really take our power back.
Are the parents responsible for this?
Well? The family environment has a lot to do with a child's mental health, of course, and so when children's needs aren't met, if they aren't held, nurtured, fed, cuddled, affirm that they're wonderful and fantastic, and given structure and discipline, then they do not understand self love because they didn't at it from the person who's supposed to love them. So, yes, there is there is a role there. But it's not like parents intentionally want to go have babies so that
they can turn them into addicts. It's just that as a society we are evolving and understanding the factors of raising a mentally healthy child. I was recently speaking at a for a group and they were talking about children and what children need to do, and what I finally said, I can't take it anymore. It's not what the children need to do. The parents need to be the healthiest version of themselves so that they can raise healthy children.
You can't just expect the children to be healthy while you're doing all kinds of unhealthy things around them.
I was born in Detroit, so I'm a Detroit fan for sports, and my son was born in Saint Louis, but I taught him to like the Detroit teams and loves and he loves them.
Well.
He's got a thirteen year old daughter, my granddaughter, Charlotte. We call her Charlie. He's got her turned on with the Detroit Lions football team, and so every Sunday when the Lions are playing, she'll watch the game. She'll put her Detroit Lions jersey on her hat. She'll be at home sharing, sending me text measures Papa, Papa, they're winning, Papa, they lost. They're playing pretty well this year.
By the way.
But I mean, is that an addiction? What would you call that?
I think that's a wonderful family tradition, and family traditions are important. She's not out smoking weed with her girlfriends. She's at home with her family. She has an interest and she's sharing that with you and her father, and that is a wonderful, enthusiastic, passionate moment for her. To be able to do.
That, But is it an addiction.
I would not call that an addiction. Addiction is something that you continue to do despite harm to yourself or others. I'm not hearing any harm in what you just said describe to herself for others. I'm hearing sharing a loving experience and exciting time which is going to be in her consciousness and in her template and will and fill her heart with warmth and joy the rest of her life when she thinks back on those moments.
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