This single-origin, unapologetically bold (and bald) podcast goes down smooth with white chocolate undertones and lusciously complex flavors. Brimming with a rich, full piquant finish, your morning routine will be the perfect start to a dark journey through the wonderland that is Trixie and Katya's grey matter. Pairs beautifully with morning wood, your derrière, and a thick, milky bowl of steel-cut oats drenched in honey from the island of Dr. Moreau. Check out SquareSpace.com for a free trial, ...
Oct 17, 2023•44 min•Ep. 132
If you count yourself amongst the lucky few who have attended a live theater performance, you fully understand that tingly feeling you get inside as the lights dim and the curtain goes up. That beautiful moment of silent anticipation before the actors appear onstage and the performance begins. Live theatre is spellbinding. Live theatre is pure magic. But most of all, live theatre is the perfect place to do hand and boob stuff on a first date. Start shopping at https://Rakuten.com or get the Raku...
Oct 10, 2023•46 min•Ep. 131
As the great 19th century poet Silas T. Shinckenpoople once said, "To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to both love and be loved? That is everything. Actually. May you please excuse me for a moment? Matilda! My weekly package at the apothecary is ready for you to pick up! If I don't administer our morphine suppositories by 5pm, you won't be ready for your 9pm Laudanum tincture in your mint julep! And if you miss both, my dear, your female hysteria may return and our passionate love...
Oct 03, 2023•47 min•Ep. 130
Everyone's favorite human Brittany Broski joins Trixie for a heart-to-heart about irrational fears of yetis, the natural beauty of Marty Feldman, and in-depth reviews of every roller coaster in Southern California. Follow Brittany: @Brittany_Broski Watch Broski's Royal Court: https://www.youtube.com/@Brittany_Broski Start building your credit up. Open a Chime Checking account with at least a $200 qualifying direct deposit. To get started head to Chime.com/BALD or click this link: https://www.chi...
Sep 26, 2023•49 min•Ep. 129
Comedian, writer, actor, and host of the podcast Just Sayin', Justin Martindale, joins Trixie for an extraordinarily engaging chat about the perils of covid car comedy, serving Kim Kardashian a valley latte, and preventing a significant portion of West Hollywood from falling deeply in love in a steam room. Follow Justin: @JustinMartindale Listen to Just Sayin' with Justin Martindale: https://link.chtbl.com/YeU4e0Qz Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go t...
Sep 19, 2023•56 min•Ep. 128
Welcome to southern California's best-kept gay amusement park secret, Bald Mountain. Please keep your hands, arms, legs, and other anatomical protrusions inside the ride at all times. Keep your safety harness tightly fastened, and please remember that severely unflattering flash photography is strictly forbidden. Lastly, please remember that when you signed that legal waiver upon entry to the park, you've released us of all liability in the event of your grisly and untimely death. Enjoy the ride...
Sep 12, 2023•38 min•Ep. 127
Hi Scott. Thanks so much for coming into the office today. Would you mind sitting down? Great. It's rather hot in here, don't you think, Scott? That shirt you're wearing looks awfully thick and warm. Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you took it off? Perfect. Now isn't that better, Scott? Come to think of it, we're a bit warm, too. Shall we all take our shirts off, Scott? Yes? Excellent. To get the #1 meal kit for eating well, head to https://www.GreenChef.com/60BALD and use code 60BALD to get...
Sep 05, 2023•45 min•Ep. 126
If you've been waiting with bated breath for Part 2 of the epically excellent interview with Australia's best export Courtney Act, you can finally breathe again. Here is part 2 of their fabulous conversation about the evolving definition of femininity, the marvels of meditation, and the exorbitant number of downsides of widespread child literacy. Start building your credit up. Open a Chime Checking account with at least a $200 qualifying direct deposit to get started. Head to: https://www.chime....
Aug 29, 2023•39 min•Ep. 125
Katya welcomes the ever-so-engaging Courtney Act to the pod for part 1 of a lengthy conversation about the beauty of braces, the positivity of pool-dancing, and the innate silliness of the gender binary. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.Betterhelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! Get Factor and enjoy eating well without the hassle! Head to https://www.FactorMeals.com/BALD50 and use code BALD50 to get 50% off! Start shopping at...
Aug 22, 2023•42 min•Ep. 124
As you slowly open your eyes to face yet another day in this wild, godforsaken world of ours, please remember to take good care of the 7 disks of spinning energy that reside within your spine. Whether it's the Crown, Third Eye, Throat, Heart, Solar Plexus, Sacral, or Root, your chakra can help you stay open, aligned, and most importantly: #GRATEFUL. Yes, Deborah...this Bald & Beautiful message of peace, chai, and love even includes you. Start shopping at https://www.Rakuten.com or get the Ra...
Aug 15, 2023•50 min•Ep. 123
You and a companion will enjoy an opulent round-trip coach flight to sunny Los Angeles, featuring spacious seating and a delectable in-flight dining experience from Spirit Airlines! Once you arrive in Tinseltown, you'll stay 3 nights and 4 days in a mildly haunted bungalow at the world-infamous Shateau Marmont, the slightly odorous sister hotel to the Chateau Marmont. Located in an industrial area bordering Van Nuys and North Hollywood, you'll awake every morning to water-stained popcorn ceiling...
Aug 08, 2023•43 min•Ep. 122
In this corner, wearing pink, weighing in at a stunning 62 lbs, the reigning BYOB World Featherweight Cosmetics Mogul Champion, the undefeated Skinny Legend, TRIXIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And in this corner, wearing faded Soviet Bloc vermilion, weighing in at a staggering 278 lbs, the EWWW Eastern Massachusetts Participant Trophy Winner, the "mostly" defeated 2009 Cillian Murphy Lookalike Contest 4th Runner-Up, the Slavic Siren, KATYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your credit’s a big deal. So build yours up...
Aug 01, 2023•43 min•Ep. 121
Dynamic microphones are constructed with small magnets that oscillate inside a metal coil attached to the diaphragm. When a sound wave causes the diaphragm of the microphone to vibrate, the relative motion of the magnet and coil creates an electrical signal by magnetic induction. From this magical, fantastical process, we arrive at the auditory eargasm that is The Bald and the Beautiful. Need we say more? We need not. Check out https://Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to l...
Jul 25, 2023•39 min•Ep. 120
Please consult your doctor before listening to this podcast. Common side effects of The Bald and the Beautiful include nausea, stomach pain, diarrhea, vomiting, superfluous third nipples, increased viewings of Ken Burns documentaries, compulsive tax preparation, and a deep yearning for golden showers. Remember: Higher quality ingredients mean a healthier and happier life for your kitty. So, head to https://Smalls.com/BALD and use promo code BALD at checkout for 50% off your first order PLUS free...
Jul 18, 2023•57 min•Ep. 119
The midnight hour is close at hand. A lonely ghoul looks out across the land. It's the typical scene with the usual suspects. Frightening creatures roaming around in search of sex. Tonight, it's a veritable smorgasbord of glorious smut. Don't delay, as it's time to prepare and place that bejeweled item directly in your butt. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain! This ep...
Jul 11, 2023•54 min•Ep. 118
While it's a scientifically-proven fact that humans require food, water, air, and shelter to survive, it is not yet widely known that straight men also require eggnog post-coitus in order to continue existing in this wild world of ours. So this summer, please don't bring a six-pack of beer to your neighbor's barbecue. Instead, tell him that you value his post-intercourse survival and bring him several cartons of refreshing, summery eggnog. His life may just depend upon it. Follow Trixie: @Trixie...
Jul 04, 2023•46 min•Ep. 117
One day, in a not-so-distant future hellscape utterly ravaged by water wars and interstate battles over depleted natural resources, there will come a time when a person's sexual preference is so low on the list of things to care about that we will all be queer. Start building your credit up. Open a Chime Checking account with at least a $200 qualifying direct deposit. To get started, head to https://Chime.com/BALD This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Find more balance, with BetterHelp! Visit...
Jun 27, 2023•48 min•Ep. 116
As part of Pride, we'd like to remind everyone about the 4 P's for bottoming: Practice, Preparation, Protect, and Pray: Practice on weeknights, at lunchtime, or even during your commute. Prepare by using an enormous amount of lube from that economy size bucket you purchased for the April 2020 orgy that never happened. Protect by always wearing a prophylactic, even if it's one that was thrown at you during a Pride parade. And lastly, pray to the pagan god of bottoming Assilopochtli, for they will...
Jun 20, 2023•50 min•Ep. 115
We are so excited for you to shop our Trixie and Katya Curated Collections on Etsy! Visit https://etsy.me/trixieandkatya to see all our favorite items! New to Etsy? Use code BALD10 for 10% off your first purchase. Maximum discount value of $50. Offer ends June 30, 2023. See terms at https://etsy.com/terms for more details. Valid only for US customers. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to t...
Jun 15, 2023•20 min•Ep. 114
It's that special time of the year, so unfurl your flag, secure your sex swing to a weight-bearing ceiling stud, and prepare your vocal cords to sing the absolute hell out of the body electric. It's Pride, bitches! From all of us here at the underground desert Bald bunker, we wish you and yours the hap-hap-happiest of Prides. To try America's #1 Meal Kit, go to https://GreenChef.com/BALD60 and use code BALD60 to get 60% off plus free shipping! Check Out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when...
Jun 13, 2023•53 min•Ep. 114
The kids are finally in bed, the dishes have been washed, the clothes have been folded, and the dog has been walked. It's finally time to pour yourself a nice glass of chilled sparkling rosé, open up TikTok, and settle into that comfy little nook on the sofa to be magically whisked away to a world of Costco fights, misbehaving Karens, and dash-cam car crashes. Enjoy yourself, girl. You've earned it. Angi has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your home proj...
Jun 06, 2023•52 min•Ep. 113
The sky is a fiery auburn red as the sun sets over a bustling Taco Bell on La Cienega Blvd. Harried Angelenos make the nightmarish commute home as offices close and street lights turn on. Through a decal clinging to a Taco Bell window advertising the return of the Mexican Pizza, we see three lonely souls sitting in a booth, silently munching upon tacos and burritos filled with beans, beef, and shattered dreams. It is a Springtime weekend in the city of angels, a town where the sight of a drag qu...
May 30, 2023•49 min•Ep. 112
We have the technology. We can make her better than she was. Better, stronger, faster. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend a...
May 23, 2023•51 min•Ep. 111
For a brief, shining moment in the early aughts, every romantic comedy had a female protagonist with an exceedingly gay best friend that existed to do exactly three things: 1) Help the protagonist make wild wardrobe choices 2) Critique shoddy makeup applications while simultaneously fat-shaming the protagonist 3) Be excessively grossed out by vaginas and constantly talk about penises. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.BetterHelp.com/BALD to get 10%...
May 16, 2023•49 min•Ep. 110
It's Drag Race All Stars Season 8 tea time! In preparation for the May 12th premiere, Trixie and Katya wax poetic about all the contestant's looks, chat about past seasons, and then prognosticate about everyone's chances for what is sure to be an absolutely amazing season. Sit down, make yourself a fancy-ass cocktail, and let's talk about All Stars Season 8! Collaborate with CANVA for Teams! Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to https://Canva.me/BALD This week – May ...
May 09, 2023•45 min•Ep. 109
It's that time of year, you horse & buggy-riding, butter-churning, hat-and-bonnet-wearing queens! Put away your Froschauer bible, take off your mutza, and ignore every rule you've ever learned from the Ordnung! It's Rumspringa time, bitches! A time to drink copious amounts of Mad Dog 20/20 Orange Jubilee, dance the night away to the devil's deep house beats, and ingest every recreational drug known to humankind! IT'S RUMSPRINGA!!!!!! Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’r...
May 02, 2023•44 min•Ep. 108
As darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand. Creatures squirm and snore in bed, while something lurks that is certainly dead. As it stands in the doorway rotting in its shell, sporting facial hair that could only originate in hell. A grizzled ghoul has escaped from its tomb, lingering in their bedroom to seal their doom. It is Trixie Mattel who is cursed with the shine, but have no fear, this goatee'd phantom is fortunately benign. To get the #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well...
Apr 25, 2023•51 min•Ep. 107
As you might imagine, ridding your bottom of pesky hair follicles is not just a laborious task, but can also require extensive acrobatics and a bit of body contortion. We here at Bald, LLC recommend a multi-mirror system to achieve full visibility upon spreading your cheeks. Additionally, we also advocate for the use of a teammate if possible, because as with most things, the more hands involved in this process the better. Once you have achieved excellent sight-lines, apply a moisturizing gel or...
Apr 18, 2023•41 min•Ep. 106
When you're alone and life is making you lonely, you can always go to the Dock. When you've got that warm feeling and all the noise and the hurry seems to help, you can go to the Dock. Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city, linger on the sand where everyone is pretty. How can you lose? The lights are not brighter there so you can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares, and go to the Dock. Things will be great, there's no finer place, everything's waiting for you at the Doc...
Apr 11, 2023•1 hr•Ep. 105
Did you know that the average male lasts between 5 and 7 minutes when engaging in "fun-time" between the sheets? While this is more than acceptable for that post-Succession Sunday night quickie before the work-week starts, 5 to 7 minutes during a Saturday night carnal marathon of erotic delights is not just pitiful, it's fixable! All because of Trimix! With just three tiny injections of synergistic drugs directly into your little wiener schnitzel, your flaccid firehose will magically transform i...
Apr 04, 2023•56 min•Ep. 104
