The Performance Of Masculinity (feat. The Public Offender)

Welcome to the Audaci-Tea, the podcast where we ration men's microphone time. Because we are having Public Offender on today. Yay, I'm so excited. He's going to be. He's going to be our special guest today and I cannot wait to chat more with him about the performance of masculinity. That's like our big topic for today. And then we have an awesome show as always. We have a very robust tea time today. We've got a lot to discuss and we have a VIP tea today as well.

So other than the Portland uh Trump invasion, other than Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban's divorce, other than Nicki Minaj getting dissed by, uh who was it again? Some girl named Janae. J'nay, that's right. In R &B style, which was so funny. And the comment that we got about whether decentering men is actually centering men, we'll also be talking. I know we have a lot to cover. um a real question. That's a real question.

I figured we would address it on air because we've kind of been doing that lately and I kind of like it. I kind of like just picking out a comment every week and being like, let's talk about this a little more because it always sounds good, doesn't it? And then of course, we have a mail bag for y'all and the crumpets. We're going to play a game. that I'm going to suggest. We actually didn't even talk about this pre-show, but it's called Name That Microaggression.

So we're gonna play that with public and see how goes. But yeah, I'm gonna toss it over to Sofran to tell y'all about our Patreon VIP membership. a Yes, and we have a new T-Spiller by the name of Crazy Chair, which I laugh. Welcome, welcome. These names, they just, they kill me. So yes, join our Patreon if you haven't already.

I don't know what you're doing with your life, but we have a lot of fun over here and you will get VIP perks like early access to episodes, ad-free listening, because people hate the ads. Our weekly bonus of unhinged uncensored segments, crumpets, that we, uh me and Lisa really have a lot of fun with crumpets. We laugh, we're unhinged. my God. I'm still thinking about, I know. Every week they're great. They're so much fun.

And it's just the stuff that we don't talk about on the actual main segments. You guys would absolutely love it. You also get priority mail bags and you get to spill your own tea with a tea time segment and a voice note. So please send in those voice notes because we love to get those. Oh, that's good, that's so great. Yeah. All right, well thank you Sovereign and let's have some tea.

I would love to start with, just for the sake of the, just in case we run out of time to cover the other things, I am so tickled by Trump trying to send in the like national guard

into what he called war torn. war ravaged Portland I have just been cracking up about this I have some because Portland is one of those places that is already kind of a joke unto itself do you know what I mean like Portland is already not even one of those cities that very aggressive with their political action like it's what's it called? They're already kind of playing themselves. You know what I mean? Like they're very passive aggressive with their like uh activism anyway.

So it's like sending the National Guard there is like, Like imagine the National Guard rolling up and they're expecting this war ravage, protests, like people throwing tear gas at the National Guard. And it's like, I don't know if anyone has seen Portlandia, you know, but you pull up and they're like. Sir, this is a gluten-free feminist only bookstore. why are you trying to occupy Portland of all places? Like, Portland is not an effective political bastion of ethics. like, you know what I mean?

Like, a lot of the stuff that they do there is just, it's very performative. So for them to be like, threatened by that and then try to send in the National Guard. to like, apprehend a freaking barista with a PhD in, critical theory or whatever. It's just really funny to me. Like you have people protesting, but they brought their like pet goat and their dejembe to the protest.

And they're like, is just some guy that's like literally non-threats like a white man with dreads like that's who you are afraid of like I don't know I don't know like it's already like such a white city like the the activism there is literally just like let's make all these zines and put them everywhere and it's like yeah people agree with you everywhere there's no like republicans living in portland like I don't know it is that was just really funny to me and so uh

A judge basically like blocked it, but there, I mean, it's a lot of big talk in Portland, but it's kind of an echo chamber in and of itself. I mean, I guess I see why they would want to send in the National Guard there because they think it's such a blue state, such a blue city, but honestly, like that shit was so laughable to me. I'm like. Why is there like military tanks gonna pull up to a freaking granola like clothing swap? Like, I don't know. I don't get it.

They're out here protesting with their pet goats. Like, they're fine.

Yeah, so I don't know if you heard about this either, but Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman got divorced. That was a pretty hot piece of news after like 20 years of marriage. I read something like 17 million or something that she has to pay him. ah gosh, yes. So she made a deal with him that for every year of their marriage that he stays sober, she would pay him $900,000. Imagine that level of, it's Nicole Kidman and. Kidman. That is what, that's what she thought of herself.

I'm gonna pay you to stay sober. I'm gonna pay you to stay sober while you're with me. And now they're getting a divorce and now he's going to take that money and the next woman is gonna benefit from her hard earned money. How much money is he even worth? That's what I'm asking, because I don't know. Yeah, it hurts me. Yes, this is what we mean when we say like, DIGMATIZE, when we say PICK ME.

these are not like it's not to insult the women, it's just to show you like the actual short-sightedness of those actions. Like if a man needs to be worked on before he can be with you and like you need to do all that work and you need to put your money and like invest in that man like I don't know, like, what do you expect? he wasn't on your level to begin with, and then you brought him up there.

If he didn't have to do that work himself and on himself, then I don't know, that's just not gonna stick long term. Then he's like faking it, you know? Right. I just- almost feels to me like, you know, he keeps talking about her like, my life started when like I met Nicole or like I was born into her. Like he's used like these weird words and it's like, yeah, you knew you weren't good enough on your own.

And now that you think you're good enough on your own and some younger woman's like paying attention to you, a younger woman that you can be sort of like she can look up to you. Now you want that because you know Nicole will never be able to look up to you. I just did a video today and I was just talking about how when you build a man up, the number one thing they're gonna do is replace you.

And one of the top reasons why they replace you is because they understand in their minds that you will never look at them like, oh wow, he's just this wonderful man. So they have to go out and find a woman who has never seen him down bad, who doesn't know his flaws, who doesn't know his weaknesses. And it boosts his ego. to find someone else. A lot of women will do this thinking that, you know, these women think that men think the way we do.

So they'll do this stuff like, if I hold him down, if I show him I'm gonna be by his side forever, that he's gonna just learn to love and appreciate me. And it's like, no, they're just gonna take your money and go use it to impress the next chick. Like, sorry. Which is exactly. Which is exactly what he's doing. I'm pretty sure his new girlfriend, if he has one or by the time he has another one, is gonna be half her age. I guarantee it. Oh, wow. How does Nicole Kidman, like isn't she like...

50 something. I know Keith Urban is in his 50s so she's half his age that's for sure. half, wow. See, that's what they always do. I just can't, I just did a video about this today. Like when you, when you date down, you pay up. That was the name of my video. So go check that out. But anyways, yeah, I hate that for her. Cause to me it just shows how low she thought of herself. Like I'm gonna go out here. women do this. Yeah. here, I'm gonna find a drug addict.

Cause I don't know what kind of drugs he were on. I'm just assuming it was the stuff that went. Oh, he was an alcoholic. Okay. I'm gonna go find a person that is suffering from substance abuse and I'm gonna pay him. Not, I'm gonna stand by his side while he helps himself and go to, you know, rehab. No, I'm just saying. what I'm saying. Like that man is not good for you Yeah, sure. Sure. See if he does it by himself, but exactly. $900,000 every year.

Every year that man was like, oh, I'm gonna divorce her. I think when I leave this relationship, I should be good at about 20 million. So by the time I get to about 20 million, then I will file for, you know. Yes, this was the long game for him. He cheated on her before they got married too. So, you know what I mean? Like you can be shocked. to stay faithful. Also, that's what she was thinking. If I pay him this money. he's smaller than you and shorter than you.

If you really don't want him to leave, you can just like sit on him or something. Like, why do you got to pay him money? You know what I mean? Like just could just hold grab him by the wrist. Where is he going to go? He's going to be like, like he can't leave. He's smaller than you. Use force. Why are you using money? At least it's free. You know, she had to have, like. have had that. I mean that was guaranteed to happen.

Me that you're like paying a man to go through fucking rehab and get his life together, you probably didn't have that clause in your. Nicole Kidman, if you ever want to get married again, marry me and give me $900,000. I'll treat you right. You know what I'm saying? No, don't do it. Don't do it. It's so crazy. All right, well, I'm kind of torn on what to cover next.

Should we do the Nicki Minaj diss know if we can play it though. I thought about it after the fact. I don't think she's a known artist because people try to make it seem like it was Jenae Aiko, but I was like, that don't sound like Jenae Aiko. I don't think that was Jenae Aiko. There was just another woman named Jenae and I don't know. be surprised if Nicki Minaj was picking on her too, because she's such a bully, but yeah. hate to see her go down like this, honestly.

I'm not a Barb or anything, but I liked her music for a long time. Yeah. I like the like powerful presentation but All right, so we got a comment on our page and this is kind of a crown or clown, I guess this would be the category.

um But some one of our listeners said, have you guys heard about the channel, the rich red witch? She says that it's impossible for women to decenter men. Even this talk about decenter men already centers men in women's mind. And the reason I say crown or clown is because these kind of takes can sound like You know, like it sounds kind of like a flex, I guess, like, yeah, like all these like decenter men content creators, like they're actually centering men.

And it's just like, you don't need to decenter men, you just need to center yourself. well, my question is always like, well, what do think the patriarchy is? That's kind of like saying you don't need feminism. Like, is the patriarchy not the forced centering of men in our society? forced. That's the key word. It's been forced on us since before we've come out of the womb to center men.

And now, decentering men is we are undoing, we are undoing the forced patriarchy that is placed on women and girls. I don't know why that's so hard for people to understand. my God. And it's frustrating because it'll usually be women that have gone through the process of decentering men. And so it's kind of like you get to the top of the hill and then you sneer at everybody from below like, oh, you guys are like centering men by like talking about men. But you know what though?

I think that some of those women, I agree with you. I think some of them get to the top of the hill and they become bitter because a lot of these women, unfortunately, they talk about decentering men, but then they don't have a personality. You know, I did a video on TikTok last year where I said, I really think that if a lot of these women if somehow they knew.

that they couldn't have a man in their life or some way that I think a lot of them would kill themselves because a lot of these women don't have a personality. They don't have anything to do. Kat just did a video last week and she was like, a lot of y'all don't have shit to do. You don't have hobbies. You don't have a life. Go find something to do. And you won't be worried about if some women are centering men or decentering men or not. Cause like, why do you care?

If you are going to decenter men, that is fine. Then go ahead and do it. If you're not going to, that is fine. Don't. But it's almost like they want to sneer at women because they think that they have, think they've gotten to the top of the hill. But it's like, but did they really? You might have gotten a little step above the rest of the brainwashed pick me women, but you're not here though.

They're here, you're a little bit above them, but you still need to get up here and they're not there yet. And I just feel like that's what this is about. But. like a different form of like pick me behavior almost. I'm not like the other girls. Like I don't center men. Right. Yeah. impress the men? So now you're centering men again? I don't understand. But here's the thing. This is what I always say really quickly. If you're a drug addict and you decide, you know what? I got to change my life.

I'm going to go to NA, Narcotics Anonymous, right? And while you're there, you're gonna be talking about drugs the entire fucking time while you are trying to stay clean. Same concept. You're gonna talk about men in order to de-center them. The same way you gotta talk about the drugs, what drugs you got started on, what the drugs made you do, how the drugs make you feel. Every time you stop, you end up going back. What are your triggers?

this drug, that drug, you try to get clean and all your friends are still doing drugs, you're going to be talking about drugs the entire time while you are trying to get clean. Same concept. You're talking about men, you're talking about men because men have ruined your life. Men have left you to be a single mother. Men have whipped your ass. Men have cheated on you. Men have stolen from you. Men have whatever they've done, whatever they've done to you. You're going to be.

working that out and talking that through as you are saying, you know what, I don't want to focus on men anymore because men have done this. I want to focus on that. I want to do that. It's all a part of the process. Why this is so hard for people. I really honestly feel like if you explain this to a second grader, they would be like, oh, I get it. You're, you're, oh, I understand mommy. You're basically saying that men are not the center.

They're in your life, but they're not the most important thing. I get it, it makes sense. Like a literal second grader will understand this concept. And the rest of y'all are just like, I don't get it. And I'm so, you're overthinking it. of under thinking. Like you're overthinking it so much that you are actually like presenting. Yeah, this like not this very simplified version of it that it's like, well, yeah, obviously. Like, yeah, if we could do that, this wouldn't even be a conversation.

You know what I mean? Like, women just need to center themselves. Yeah. In a society that forcefully centers men. So how do they do that? Oh, you have to de-center the men. Boom. It's it's right there. That's like the whole core issue of feminism. And like to me, this is just like saying, you don't need feminism. We're all good if you just believe really hard. Oh, OK. OK. Like I said, I really think that the reason why women are nitpicking this is because they don't really want to decenter men.

A lot of women have somewhat given up the fairytale, but deep down they don't really want to. And this is their way of sliding back and saying, I want to decenter men, but can we really decenter men? mean, can we really? Because you really haven't given up the fairytale. There is some piece of you that really wish that. something can work out for you or it's something there. I don't know exactly what it is, but that's the reason why you, so basically if you have this mindset, you're not healed.

You have a lot of work to do. That's basically what that means. And that's no shade to anybody. Cause we all have work to do on ourselves every day, but you, you have, you're not near, you're nowhere near as healed as you think. That's just, there's other layers that you need to peel back. That's what that means. Cause I, This is a second grader. I just...

right, well, let's see if we can quickly cover this VIPT and then we will bring up our special guest, the public offender. Not yet, sorry. I got two options to offer. Did you want to go first? Sorry. I do not, no. If it were me, I would be looking for mental peace. Cause if he's already not really doing shit, then he's useless in your life. So once you come to the conclusion that he's useless, mean, 90 % is basically a hundred in my opinion, when it comes to that. He moved away.

I'm not trying to be funny. He moved away to run away from the responsibility. That was why he left. Rather, regardless to why he told you a job or a career opportunity. No, if he actually wanted to be a part of his son's life, he would be. So he left to get away. Okay, that's the first thing. So you can render him useless. So you got two options. You can drop him off to him, drop your son off to him and disappear, which a lot of women are doing that now.

I'm just saying, I'm not saying you can do this or you should do it. I'm just saying, let him raise the son, let him know what it feels like to raise a son with no help. Or you can just take your son and move away from him and cut off contact. That's what I would do. You got those two options because the third option would be you constantly trying to get him to see how hard it is. Yeah. And he's not going, it sounds like he doesn't care cause he moved away.

So it sounds like he's not going to, so you're just going to stretch yourself out. So, and I don't know if you would want to go to court and force 50 50 custody. I'm pretty sure since he moved away, he probably doesn't want it. So your only option would be if he's not gonna come around consistently, don't let him come around at all because that's gonna be troubling for your son. And maybe when your son is a certain age, he can go stay with his dad.

But that's what I personally would do one of those two things. And this is kind of why the advice we give to women who want to become mothers is always plan on being a single mother. Because that is what it is. And I'll be honest with you all, like that's kind of how I knew my husband was a real one was because when we had the conversation about kids, he is like, I would never do that for a man. I would never do that. I would only want you to do that. Like if you fully wanted to do it.

Do you know what I mean? Because he's like, I would not do that to my body. I would not do that to my life. And that is just like, that's a really big deal. And uh most of it is gonna fall on you. Like the pregnancy, the breastfeeding, the everything else. you know, if we were gonna have that kind of setup where he works and like provides the health insurance and all that kind of stuff, like that would all fall on me.

So you might as well be a single mom, like in your own mind, you know what I mean? And so I was like, that's very fair. Like that is like, I really appreciate your level of insight into that because that's kind of like the last thing I need to. you know, if I was ever undecided, like I always leaned more on the side of like, I'm not gonna have kids, yeah, that fucking did it for me, you know what I mean?

And he wasn't saying like, I'm gonna be an absent father or like anything like that, but it's just like, you're gonna be left alone most of the time with the child because like, if one of us is gonna have to work, like, I'm sorry, like we don't come from money, so one of us is gonna have to work, we don't have the option of like having a full time. you family set up and, whatever.

Or like if if you did that, like there would still be that sense of like you're working a lot and you don't get to spend time with your kid, like whatever. So you know what I mean? It's just one of those things. That's a reality of life. Your husband, even if he's an amazing provider, I say this every fucking episode, he can get hit by a bus tomorrow. He can walk outside. He be crossing the road to like go run and grab you some milk from the store.

and you're get hit by a bus and his life insurance policy is probably not very high. Most men don't even think to check into that, by the way. You should check into that, because uh you're not paying that much more to get more money and people just assume it's gonna be really expensive. It's not that expensive. But that money's gonna run out if you don't have a work history, all that kind of stuff. You are either going to be a married single mom, a divorced single mom, or a single mom.

That's what it comes down to. So, cause you don't have the luxury of a man who can just, leave his kid at somebody's doorstep. Yeah. A lot of women are doing that though. Yeah, and I love that for them, but it's hard. It's hard when you birthed the child, like that's your baby, like mama's baby, daddy's maybe. That's that you taught me that. That's amazing. So and I just want to say that I'm sorry you're going through that.

This is why we talk about decentering men, because this is how difficult it is. They will force their own centering in your life with a child, especially. Like they will be like, I will sit you down or whatever. Yeah, there you go. Mm-hmm, they love to admit it. So, all right, well, we have the public offender waiting for us in the wings. So we will welcome him into the studio and we will be right back to talk about masculinity as a performance. Alrighty, welcome back everyone.

We have. The public offender joining us today. Woo! Welcome back. What's up y'all? we love Public. It's one of the rare times where we will give a man a microphone on this podcast. He's actually back with us for a second time and this time y'all can actually see him. When Public first came on, he was one of our first guests actually and we had not even started doing our video broadcast yet. So we're especially excited to welcome you with this.

new format and why don't you tell our audience a little bit about you even though I'm sure they all know very well who you are. But thank you again for having me. I love talking to you guys. I think it's awesome. well, obviously my name is Public Defender. I make content on TikTok and YouTube. Just challenging the patriarchy is the best way to describe it. very much dislike... stupidity, I don't mind ignorance so much, but I don't like stupidity. You know I'm saying?

And those are like two different things. Nah, but you know what I'm saying? I don't care. You know what I mean? Being stupid is one thing, being ignorant is one thing, but being stupid, like being willfully ignorant and then being loud and having a microphone, that doesn't sit well with me. And I'm very much like adverse to like bullies. So I end up. bullying the bullies, and that's where I found my place. I was like, they wanna be bullies? Cool, I like that. I could be Uncle Barry, I like that.

So that's how I got here. It's amazing. You've been one of our most requested guests even though you've been on before. But every time we ask like who should we have on it's always there's always like at least five people that are like public. We you guys need to bring public back. I think people enjoy that like especially women because it's really so rare to see men doing this work. And I think you would agree that when a lot of men do do this work they're kind of doing it.

I don't want to say for like ulterior reasons, but like there is a little bit of that like feeling of like they just like listening to themselves like talk or like they like feeling like the hero or something like that. Or like they expect like a disproportionate amount of praise. like, it's just very refreshing to see somebody like doing the work in the same way that like women do it, honestly, like in the same way, just pointing it out, just dealing with the, you know, naysayers and like.

I love that you have the patience to like sit there and deal with men and like, yeah, that's the Lord's work for real. Get gas lit for three hours a day. yes I always say his patient his level of patience should be studied because like how yeah, I really, yeah. It's easy. I'm gonna tell you guys why it's easy. I've been clocked this. It's because I'm a man, right? So I've been ghastly before by men, like my father, right? He was the first person to ghastly me, the worst.

uh But it's only like one man. You know what I'm saying? Or maybe like it was like a friend group early on and you usually write that off as a man as like, that's just like a rite of passage. You know what I mean? Like your friends.

Hating or you know, whatever it is right or calling you like when they're wrong They call you a dumbass like just you know, like that's where the gaslighting starts like when in your peer group as a boy I remember like many a times many a times having full-blown arguments with my friends and I was a hundred percent right and they will be calling me a stupid ass and like you're dumb and like that and I'm sitting there like I know I'm right.

Then I would go home and I would talk to my brother who was six years older than me. And then he would be like, no, your friends are dumb and they're haters. And I would be like, okay. So he gave me that validation. And so it gave me the confidence to keep going out there and keep being like, a thorn in the side of the idiots. And I just like kind of just did that.

But I didn't have to do that inner personally in a in a relationship with the man, which I think is completely different than dealing with. you know, like a cohort of, you know, like my peers or whatever the case may be. So that's why it, like I have more patience, because I have like 43 years of like not being gaslit by men that were also sleeping with me and I was having kids with. And you know I'm saying? Like that's a whole, I shared finances. That's a whole different level.

And the, the pressure is completely different. could talk to a man in these spaces. fairy tales and stuff. OK, well, can I kick this off with kind of, I think a question that probably a lot of people have for you, which is like, why do you do this work? Like, why is it important for you to like be a thorn in the side of the patriarchy or whatever? Like as a man, especially like that's something that, you know, should benefit you. Like some of the people that.

kind of say the quiet part out loud and say the patriarchy is natural, it's the way things are meant to be, know, and they'll be like, no, this is like a good thing. So like, why, I don't know, why do you do this work? Why is it so important to you to like see a different kind of world?

one of the main reasons is because I'm black. And as a black person, I've always been like adverse to systems of oppression, right? Like racism. I've always been adverse to racism, obviously. When I got older, I was extremely adverse to capitalism.

And when you see the patriarchy for what it is, when you see that like that's the granddaddy of them all, you have a choice, even if you think it benefits you, because I finally found a system that... somewhat benefited me, which is the thing that makes it really hard to go against and challenge, right? It was easy for me to challenge racism, because racism doesn't benefit me at all. It was easy for me to challenge capitalism, because I'm not a capitalist. I never had any capital.

I was born in poverty in the projects in the 80s. I never, know, money was never, you know what saying? Like all my friends was on Section 8, you know what saying? Like I didn't, I don't know nothing about that. So it was easy, but it was hard when... It was like, oh, but you're a man and you are afforded all of these unspoken privileges that people don't pay attention to. It's hard to challenge that. But for me, was like, I wanna be free. I'm be honest, I'm selfish.

I'm tired of being oppressed. I'm tired of oppression. I'm sick of it. And even though I'm a man, whatever, if I gotta, I guess, lose my little... Little membership to the boys club. I don't care because I don't like me I don't I'm not I'm genuinely I don't like generally speaking.

I don't really like me, you know, like as a group I like my friends I got friends that I like that are mean but as I got older I just started to be like dudes dumb like dudes are it isn't even before I was doing anything. I just like I know. like, it's so easy to see how they're so like stuck in the mud. Like, I don't know, just spinning their wheels a lot of the time. Like I love your, one of my biggest takeaways, like lessons from you is like the circular male logic. um I love that.

I literally, think about that at least once a day and I'm like, there it is. There it is. I know you. think about it probably a lot more than that because you have to deal with them. But yeah. Every day. Every day. do you think your level of misandry, I don't want to call it that, I'm just being silly. But do you think that that, do you think it intensified after becoming a content creator? Or do you think you were already, okay, okay.

No, I mean, I would say before I was just more like indifferent. Yeah, for sure. You know how it goes. I was more indifferent to men, right? I think at a certain point in time, I was like, oh man, or like whatever, you know. But then now I genuinely, when I say I don't like men, again, I'm talking about a class, like the, you know what saying? I love humanity. I know exactly what you mean. Yeah. all good. But I mean like as a class, right? You know, like, I hate the sinner.

I hate the sin, not the sinner, right? Kind of deal. But when you think of man and manhood, you're like... What is this? How is this okay? How does this benefit me? This is stupid. You know, whatever. And once you see it for what it is, you can't unsee it. uh You either go deeper into the rabbit hole or you try to go back and I was never gonna go back. So it's like now I'm full blown, I really just don't like men in general. Most men that I come across, I don't like.

They're like weird and they... They are like way behind the times and I can't really talk to them. I can't be myself. And I don't wanna be, I'm too old to be around people that I can't be myself around. You know what I mean? your energy to like a lot of, Well, okay, so we're kind of like dancing around the topic at hand. Like I think what you're kind of saying, like you noticed about men and manhood and like masculinity is, know, for lack of a better term, is kind of a performance.

Like when was the first time that you kind of like noticed that? Like when, what was that like for you to realize like? You know, are people just like pretending? Like what is going on? like I knew this from a really young age. I couldn't contextualize it, right? I couldn't verbalize it, I knew what it was. So the idea of like proving my manhood was always stupid to me when I was a kid, I'm saying. And that was, I was talking about how me and my friends used to butt heads, right?

So if you grow up like poor, it don't matter black or white, but you know, if you grow up poor, hypermasculinity is like, um it's survival tool for a lot of us, right? Because if you don't have that, if you don't wear it. You get picked on, you don't get picked for the teams. get ignored, you know.

So I had to walk this like, I had to do this like balancing act between, you know, like I would go out and fight and I would go out and play sports and you know, I play football and you know what mean? You do all that type of stuff to like prove yourself. And also I thought it was fun, but you know, mostly it was like to prove yourself, but on the back end, when they would want to do certain things, I would be like that stupid.

Like I'm not doing that, you know, or when my closest friends, when they wanted to like fist fight, if it wasn't like boxing or whatever, I would be like, why are we fighting? Like why am I fighting? know, cause they always, and I always thought it was dumb, you know, and they would be like, you scary. And I'm like, bro, I'm not scared of none of y'all. I just think it's stupid to fight your friends. You know, and I was saying that to them when I was 13, 14, right?

know women think that that sounds crazy, right? Like, I know y'all like, what the hell? That's what, yeah, but as boys, that's like a known, you know, I was like, bro, if I fight y'all, we're not gonna be friends anymore, cause why are we fighting? You know? And so I knew early on that, like, that whole, like, rite of passage crap was stupid. Like, I was like, this is dumb as hell. The first time I could articulate it though, was after I had kids, after I had sons myself.

And I was like, I don't live vicariously through my sons. I don't care what they do. I'm not, you know, my babies aren't addicted to watching basketball and playing sports and stuff like me. I don't care about none of that. You know I mean? Like once I really have my own kids and I knew that my job was to not turn them into men, but to just. kinda like guide them and you know what I'm saying? Just be like a rail guard for them but just help them develop themselves.

All that like manhood crap went out the window. I was like, yeah, this is stupid. don't, this is dumb. I don't care. I don't there's so much to to cover about this, but I just I'm really enjoying asking you these questions and like having you answer it from like, your lived experience because you're right, like so many women are confused by these concepts. And we're confused when you know, when when y'all actually play out the scripts for us or like lay out the scripts for us.

And it's like, wait, you really thought you had to do that? you really thought there was this pressure, there was this peer, like where did they learn how did it all, you know what I mean? no, no, you could literally get hurt not being like that though. Like you could like lose your life. You know what I'm saying? Like you could, it's like being, think about being in prison. say? the same thing with black women too.

know, cause that's one of the things that they say, yo, all you guys are so masculine and you guys are tough. And it's like, you kind of have to be where we're from. Otherwise you're a prey. You are a victim. You know? So, so I totally get it. Yeah. that's all it is. Yeah, so I was gonna ask like, what do you think like some of those scripts are? Like what is kind of laid out for you as a man that then your peers are enforcing? Like what is at the core of it?

Like what are you trying to prove, I guess? You don't wanna be, okay, so you're, you don't wanna be on the lower rung of the cult, right? Like you wanna be a high ranking official in the cult, right? There's benefits to it. There are ways to move up in status though, right? It is a combination of things, but violence, sexual prowess, money. you know, things of that nature, right?

Which all kind of leads to popularity, you know, being socially accepted, you know, uh by the general masses also will move you up. Cause they don't want to challenge, you know what I'm saying? Like they don't want to challenge people either. So if like everybody thinks you're cool, then they're not going to be like, he's not cool. They're just going to be like, yeah, he's cool. Right? So you can do that being funny or, know, whatever.

When you're a man, would say, getting out of being a child, when you're a man, it's like, can you sleep with? How much money can you make? Right? And not how much can you make necessarily? Because it's not about like stacking money or even, it's not about like how many zeros you have in your bank accounts. It's like, what do you have to show for it though? Right? What kind of car are you driving? a wealthy man more than a man. Don't nobody, you know what I'm saying?

Don't nobody love a rich buff man more than a man. Like a cis-hat man, a heterosexual man. And wanna impress him and be and be flewed out and just be in his presence. I'm like, bro, you wanna? So what do you think about this public? Because this is a theory that I've had as to why a lot of men who actually like men, like sexually, they the reason one of the top reasons why they stay on the down low is because they don't want to be cast to the bottom of that hierarchy.

What do you think about that? Okay. Because they tried to blame women. the, no, it's not. say, you all are the reason why. And it's like, no, I think y'all just don't want to be cast to the bottom of that hierarchy that you're talking about. Because for whatever reason, a lot of men are just not going to be openly accepting of you. You know, they're going to say, I don't want to be seen talking to you.

I don't want to be out with you hanging out because I don't want people to think that about me. They don't want that sort of outcasting sort of situation. So they just lie. But that's always been my theory. And then it's also funny because then if a man really likes women and you know, like not a sexual conquest or whatever, but then he's a simp. So then I'm always wondering like, who do these men hate more? Is it women or is it other men?

Like, are you more devalued by loving a woman or by sleeping with a man? Like as a man? Like, is that circular logic? Like, I swear to God. But so at his core is men hate femininity. So if you are feminine, whether you are a male, whatever, if you are feminine, then they're going to hate you. Like I just saw a video today. was like, don't know if you guys see this, but there's this like.

trend I would say, where men are like hitting on masculine presenting uh women, And they're like pouring their hearts out to these women. And I'm like, okay, so let's make this make sense. If I said you liked men, you would crash out. But you like a woman that is dressed like a man, right? That presents like a man. You think that that's okay. to get online and like, you know what saying? Like, pour your heart out to this woman, right? Be like, girl, and flirt with her and all that.

That's okay, but you can't flirt with the man. You can't flirt with the man, right? And the reason why is because they hate femininity. So if a man presents like a feminine, you know what I'm saying? Like a feminine man, they hate that. Also what they hate, one of the most, cause one of the most feminine things you can do is get penetrated sexually in a man's mind. They associate that directly with women. So a man that's getting penetrated by another man, oh, that's feminine.

That's the ultimate, you know I'm saying? Like act of femininity is getting what they would say fucked, right? That's the thing. So if a man is letting them, oh no, I can't, oh no, hell no, I ain't nobody, I ain't doing the, I ain't doing the bending. I'm doing the bending. ain't, you know what saying? Like it's odd. It's like, Yeah. Sorry. bro, it's just like at the end of the day, what they did was the patriarchy convinced me to hate femininity.

And once you hate femininity, it don't matter who it's attached to. It don't matter if it's attached to a woman, a man, a child. It don't matter if it's not now. And then they put everything that makes men decent people, integrity, patience, intelligence. the pursuit of, you know, intelligence and education, having empathy, being nurtured. They put all of that under the umbrella of femininity, conveniently. Those are female traits. That's what females do. Right?

and it automatically does this trick, does the trick, right? Now men don't want to be smarter. They don't want to be more empathetic. They don't want to like, cause that those are women, women traits. That's the, that's the game. That's how they get you. Sorry, I just, basically that's gay, bro. Remember, you like women? Man, that's gay, bro. for the past three weeks. We're like, wait, is it gay to like women? It's gay to, in their mind, this is the gay part. Again, it's not the woman.

It's how you treat the woman. If you treat the woman like women treat women, which is feminine, that's gay. That's gay. That's who they call gay. That's what they call the simps and the panders and all that stuff. Right? That's the soft guys, the guys that love their wives, that listen to their wives, that respect, that's gay, cause your dad's feminine. That's the feminine part. But if you got a woman and you treating her like dog shit, you the man. That's okay. make you masculine?

Because it's not feminine? It's just the absence of- it's the absence of femininity, it's the opposite of femininity. And this is why I say all masculinity is bad. I don't believe in the concept of toxic masculinity, right? you, same. is to offset masculinity, correct? Right? Everybody, okay, cool. That's what I get from it. So if women are empathetic, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, not women, but femininity, whatever, right?

If femininity is intelligence, patience, integrity, consistency, caring, whatever, empathy, all these things, then what is masculinity? opposite of Ugh. It's the opposite of that. By default, it's the opposite of that. Therefore, you can't be a decent person and be masculine. Those things are, they conflict with one another, right? because you hate your own humanity, right? Like everybody has that leaning towards those feminine traits, whether you like it or not.

That's why men have to like bully each other out of it. Guess why? Because it's there, because it's there, because little boys are empathetic. They do want to strive towards that. They want to care for others and be cared for. They want to have that exchange.

And then their own peers will beat it out of them because somebody's dad, you know, taught them, had an experience and then passed that on to them and said, you're gonna have to be like that because you're not a little girl and you know, boys don't cry and boys don't do this. And it's like, okay, well, when you hate your own humanity, like that's a real problem because the rest of us are also human. Like you don't like other men, you don't like other women.

Like there's like this very small, thank you. like you hate yourself. Cause you gotta think about it. I didn't mean to cut you off, I'm so sorry. No, literally you you were you went to a better place than I where I was going. So that's perfect, please. gotta, the way I see it is we are all half man, half woman. Whether you are a man or a woman, you are half man and half woman, point blank period.

So you are cutting, as a man, you're cutting off the femininity side of yourself, the woman side of yourself, which women, we embrace everything, but the men are only embracing their so-called masculinity side or whatever. And it's like, you you, they can't do anything. So whenever I hear, whenever y'all hear people say, when we say a lot of these men, even if they're not sexually attracted to men, they don't like women. Because I say most men don't like women. They don't like women.

And it doesn't mean that they're gay necessarily, which... That's the jury is still out on that, but. Most men aren't gay. They really aren't. they really, sexually they really prefer women. like the essence of a woman. So if you don't like my essence, you don't like me and I don't think you like women. Do get what I'm saying? So you don't have to be gay. don't really care. Yeah, I don't care what you are. Which is awful. Yeah, it's like, why are you even on planet earth? Why are you here?

It doesn't make sense. boys, sovereign. To hang with the boys. Saturdays are for the boys. fine, then leave women the fuck alone. I don't understand why that's so hard for them. Leave women alone. You don't want to hear a woman talk. You remember when I said I think 85 % of men, if they were illegally given the opportunity to hold a woman in a dungeon and put duct tape on her mouth and only bring her out. And only bring her out when they. a doubt. Thank you. Thank you, public.

Because I said this and people got mad at me and I was like, I'm trying to tell you how they were getting... Because the one thing I hear men complain about with the feminine women is that we talk too much. They don't care about how our day was. They don't care what Lisa said in accounting at work today. They don't give a fuck. They don't care how you feel. If you're sick, doesn't matter. I expect you to get up and cook me dinner. They literally do not care. had a baby.

Yeah, she just had a baby. You're being lazy. you're taking this postpartum depression that you're just trying to get attention. Like they literally hate everything about you. That's why I hate when women have babies and that's when they find out that their husband's like, like they fucking hate them. Like that's when you found out when it's too late because it's like they don't have any empathy. And it's like, I'm sorry, y'all. just can't. I can't. I can't, y'all. though?

Like the whole like if they would like want like what is what is the mentality there? Is it just like We are a wife, but we will be a wife appliance. sorry, I think men are like emotionally circumcised. You know what I'm saying? Like you guys were talking about earlier uh because they're like, like they, know, like you were saying, okay, so you were saying like, we are like half man, half woman, you know I'm saying? So they have circumcised the woman, you know what saying?

They cut off the woman part. and they kept the man part, right? And that's not healthy, right? It's not, it's... limb until it just dries off, right? Like if you were to, yeah, like a wart or something, you like tie it off and then it just dries off because there's no blood flow to it, yeah. But for men, what they're tying off is like both their arms and their legs. So all they're left with is a torso.

You're just... and a penis because they need the penis so they can sleep with the women because that's the most important because they need because it yeah they don't need none of that all they need is a penis and and and the reason why is because they objectify women and that's how you were why you were like well how can they sleep with us and not like us because you're an object they don't care about your personhood right they just care that you provide You know, a good feeling of labor.

learn with the Butterball Turkeys. yeah we did we sure did we always remember the butterball turkeys the monitor lizard that poor chimpanzee that they shaved and sold and like prostituted the corpses of course my god of that stuff. I don't know about what saying but like uh that just reminded me, I watched that, the Ed Gein story on Netflix. Did y'all watch that? Oh my God. This man, this man, this man was having sex with their bodies. He was digging them up and having sex with them.

When a warm bodied real woman came over and wanted to fuck him finally, he told her, too warm because he got used to fucking a cold dead body. Literally, I'm not even joking. In order for him to fuck her, he made her get in ice bath that her temperature could come down. And she did it. She agreed. So I'm like, me and my boyfriend was like, well, which one is more diabolical, him or her at this point? Because she agreed to it and she did it. fight, fight, fawn or freeze.

And she chose to, she chose to fawn. me of. That's what that reminded me of. that's proof that some men, know all men are not going to do that, but some men really just see you as a, you're just some receptacle.

I was gonna producer Ryan literally just sent me a screenshot of a comment that he found on our very own channel from Proud 5050man says, if I could keep a woman in my basement with a bag over her head and duct tape on her mouth, I would, lol. I'd feed her three times a day and take her outside. I believe that. well, under one, under what video? they get mad at me all the time. They tell me I'm a misandrous, I'm bitter, all that.

And I'm like, all you gotta do is pay attention to a lot of men's behavior. Listen to what they're saying. they're always talking about, you know those, we were talking about the old sitcoms where like Al Bundy, perfect example. He, she was annoying. He didn't want to hear her voice. He didn't want to hear her talking. Everything about her annoyed him. And that's the trope that they put on TV is this man is just the ball and chain.

The wife is a ball and chain and she's annoying and she's this and that. some guys, public, what do you think? Do you think that guys get around each other and completely trash their wives to fit in? Or do you think that's really how they feel? you think it's both? OK. yeah, no, I think it's both, but I did a video on that, how was like, how group chats almost ruined my marriage.

yeah, so this was like a few, like probably like four years ago or so, but I was in a, I was in, well, the group chat started like probably six years ago and then, you know what saying, they went on for years. But um the worst one was this like fantasy football one I was in. And it started off fantasy football. was, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, cool, I joined it, it's cool, everything's cool. It was even a woman in there at first. Then like week six.

You know, the woman lab, most of the dudes, like I was, cause it was like 14 people in there. By the time when it got his worst, it was probably like six of us communicating daily. And the dudes would be in there like talking about cheating on their wives and stuff. Like three of the dudes in there were like actively cheating. And I was like, why are you guys cheating? Like, I was like, doesn't that get old? And you know what I'm saying?

Like, you know, and I literally, I'm thinking like, you can talk to them. could, you know what Like you could have a conversation. And I mean, like especially like on some man to man stuff. So I'm in there like, I'm in there like, yo man, like you need to go to therapy for that. Like I remember, you know, when I was in my early twenties, I cheated and it was terrible. And I, and the one thing I learned was like, you know, it's not like you're not doing it for yourself.

You're doing it for the validation of other men. Like I told them, this was even before I had even started to do anything. I just had done like, I guess like a little bit of work. were like, yeah. yeah, bro, cause I'm married and I'm like, you can't like, you know, you got to get over that cheating stuff, bro. You know, you've been married for a long time. So cool. I'm already, I done did all of that and processed all of that. So I'm having a conversation from that perspective.

Like we're like 40 years old. We're like 35 or whatever, like 38 years old at the time, 30, 39 years old. And you guys are like, yeah, man, I was with this girl last night. Yeah, man, I was with this woman last night. Like sitting screen shot. I'm like, this is corny. Like I'm telling them in it. I'm the only dude saying it though. Listen to what I'm saying. Not all the men were cheating. Out of the men that were in there, only, not only, but three of them were cheating.

So the majority of us weren't cheating. We all had wives. We all had women, right? Long-term relationships, Only three of them were cheating. I'm the only man telling them, oh, that's weird. Oh, that's crazy, right? You're like, what are you doing? I'm laughing, they're laughing at me. I'm laughing at them harder. Like what y'all stupid, that's goofy. So, story short though, I ended up like, not that, like not the cheating stuff, but just like the way the conversations would go.

The type of stuff we will be talking about sending like. twerk video post, like whatever, you know what I'm saying? Just doing like at that point I was just like, you know, I'm doing the guy stuff though now. And then my wife found it and was like, what is this? And I was like, I'm not thinking nothing about it. I'm like, what are you talking about? Like we're in a group. I didn't do anything wrong. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, what are you talking about?

She was like, what are you like, dude, this is weird. Like this is weird behavior. And I'm like, what? And she told me later on, she was like, that was a time when I was like, I don't know who you are. You know what saying? She really was thinking about leaving. And I was like, yo, that's crazy. But I ended up, she told me, I think we definitely argued about it at first, but then quickly I was like, no, no, no, you know what? You're right. That's crazy.

Because before I got in there, I wasn't doing that. I wasn't on that type of time. That wasn't me. And I saw what it was. It was that influence. from no, you know what saying, from no dude. Now, I was never in there, I never said nothing bad about my wife or like, it was never nothing like that. And it was just the banter back and forth over certain, you know, saying certain stuff, commenting on women's bodies, whatever, sending, whatever, that type of stuff.

Like, it was crazy because it was, again, it wasn't like I was, it wasn't like I was in this place. Now, nothing like that, right? But I definitely, up until that point, had known that that stuff was problematic. You know what mean? Like going into the, but you just, it's like joining a frat, like any frat. You don't change it. It changes you, right? Either, and you got two choices. you either conform or you leave. There's no, so once that happened, I was like, you know what, y'all got it.

We had gotten to it one day, I was checking them about some other stuff. It was like being back in high school, being back in elementary, being back in junior high school, friend, you dumb, you weird, dog, you weird. Dude, they call me in that same group chat, they call me trans, they call me gay, they call me, yep, they call, cause I would say, I would, for calling them out on, but I would call them out on a bunch of stuff. You know what saying?

I called them out on a bunch of weird, cause they would say transphobic stuff. And I would be like, that's like, you guys are like kids. You know what I'm saying? Like, why are you, and they'd be like, oh, oh, you're a transformer. I'm like, bro, we went to elementary school together. What are you talking, you know me since I was a kid, which it don't matter either way, but it was just, that was the, cause that's how stupid they are.

They're like, there's no way that you can, not hate trans people, you know what I'm saying? And not be trans, you know what I'm saying? Like the only way for you to not hate trans people is for you to either be a gay man or be trans yourself. And I was like, I'm neither. I just think it's weird to be homophobic and transphobic at damn near 40 years old. Like what are we doing? You know, and they couldn't, they called me sad wee wee crip, cause all my friends are crips.

Cause I'm from the city, so they called me. Sad we we Crip, cause I refuse to cheat on my wife. They were like, they were like, you like, like, we gon' like literally like, like threatening me almost like, oh, you're, we're going to get you some, some new coochie. I was like, bro, I'm, trust me dog. I'm good. Like we're, I'm, I don't need it. I'm fine. were all so proud of like being a 304. Like of being the town bicycle. They're like, right, right. that's what makes them a man.

and it's very feminine to be like, yeah, I don't wanna cheat. Like I don't wanna cheat on my wife. Like it was just that, it literally, that was all it took. I said, I don't wanna cheat on my wife. I'm gay, I'm sad, we be crazy. I'm like, cause I don't wanna cheat on my wife. Are you serious? Like, I wouldn't, was was one of the craziest times ever. Yeah, well, it sounds like she had the right intuition. Sorry, go ahead, Sovereign. it's okay.

Do you think that there is a level of jealousy there um for not having them not having what you had, or do you really think that they are just really that far gone that they think being faithful is just like the worst thing a man can do? Like they really think that just. so it's a mixed, so they ascribe, cause I talked to them. I challenged their logic and I did, this is how know I did a really good job because here goes the cult. This is powerful the cult is.

One of the men actually was like, you make a lot of sense, but he never said it in the group chat. He hit me back privately, texted me and was like, yo. I do feel like I need help. I do feel like what I'm doing is wrong. do, literally, and I didn't say nothing to the chat. I just had the conversation with him on the backend and I told him how, like, how, you know, how it worked for me and how I had to, you know, like see women as, as people and human beings.

And, and the craziest thing is like, I'm listening to this now, like I'm talking about this now, right? But I'm telling y'all this was years before I even started to like consciously, but I just knew like intuitively like, Yeah. you know what saying? Like that's crazy. Like I wasn't part by saying I'm not perfect. Like I was bad, but I wasn't like being like the worst type of man just was, was not in. I just didn't want to be that.

I was like, yeah, I mean, we got families now and I love my wife. Like my wife is beautiful. I'm lucky to have her. Like I would say stuff like that and they'd be like, Oh, here you go. And there they ascribe to the ideology that Women are collectibles and right, they are things to be had and collected and they're Pokemon and you gotta catch them all. And men can do that, but women can't. If you wanna get you some new dick, you're a she-wolf, you're a devil in disguise, right? But this man.

could literally sleep with all of your friends, all of your friends' friends, they mama's, auntie's, cousin's, everybody. And what? And lie about it, by the way, because he wasn't open about it with his women. He was, you know what I'm saying? Like, I think he would tell the... No, no, I think he would tell the No, he would tell the side women the truth. knew. Like, he showed me to, like, the women, the side women knew. The side women knew. The wives didn't know. The women didn't, the women...

And I'm sitting there like, at some point, it didn't matter, three kids, five kids, like it didn't matter where they, making money, all of it, it didn't matter. They just had a disease almost, but it wasn't, you know what I'm saying? It really was them, they're just fucking narcissistic and they didn't wanna address it. at that time I didn't have the language, I didn't know it was narcissism, I didn't know nothing like that. I just knew.

That's pretty disgusting to be like, oh, I'm about to sleep with as me, you know what saying? Like you like living with this woman. Like I was like, yeah, that's crazy, bro. And they just, I got beat down for that. And until I left and I was just like, I left, I'm good. And it's been, I've been helped. And shortly I would say like a year, year and a half later is when I started to like consciously unpack misogyny within myself. And I was like, oh, you were right. Like I went back to that time.

I was like, yeah, you were right.

Good. Good on you. yeah. yourself. Wow, wow. No, sorry, that's just like mind blowing because I really don't think women understand how casually and you know, this stuff happens and how easy it is for men to sort of not rise above the level of the worst behaved man in their, you know, like in their nearby circle. Like it's just for some reason, like It's a race to the bottom almost, like I don't know. Yeah. It is. Yeah, I that just blows my mind.

Like I don't understand like because to me that's like you're going against evolution in a lot of ways too. And like this is why this is concerning to me. Like this is why like I do the work. Part of why I do the work is because like we are not going to get anywhere. We evolved through cooperation. So if we have like one half of the population that hates you know, a certain part of their own humanity and other people's humanity, then like how are we supposed to progress forward?

Like aren't we just going to be stuck in one place? You can't. That's the game though. You asked earlier, like, what are men here for? Men's purpose right now in society, because we're engineered this way, not naturally, but men's purpose right now in society is to uphold the patriarchy. You know what saying? Like that's our like number one. every man has that has that job. I don't care what your career is. That's your number one job is to uphold the patriarchy by all means.

Keep your boots on the necks of women. Keep your boots on the necks of children. Keep you know what I'm saying? Punch down, push down, squish, squish, squish, squish. Like that is your number one job as a man. First and foremost, it don't matter if you poor. Don't matter if you rich. Don't matter if you black. Don't matter if you white. It doesn't matter. That is your number one job and men around. you will always remind you of that. They will never let you forget that.

Because as soon as you step out of that, you're gay. You're did. They got to shame you. They might beat you up. might, you know what I'm saying? Like literally, like you might get beat up over that type of stuff. it's, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's a real thing and beyond problematic. You know what I'm saying? Like that's, that word doesn't, it doesn't do with justice. It's... It's scary, yeah. Yeah. but it's destructive at the end of the day. That's what it is.

you know, this shit always falls back on women. And I've just sort of accepted that like we are just naturally going to have to lead everybody out of this. Like, I don't know, it falls back on women. Like we're going to have to deal with it. And I'm like, so every time I try to think about it, it's like if you go the bell hooks route and you're like, no, like we have to love the men, et cetera. Well, that's already what men get under the patriarchy. Yep. love.

Like no matter how much they try to say like, only women and children and dogs get unconditional love. Like that's not fucking true. Those are like, women do not receive unconditional love. A lot of men do though, by their families. Yeah, right. Exactly, it's the same men. And hating their children and literally teaching their children how to hate themselves. No, for real. And then I'm like, okay, so then what do women do? Do we resort to violence?

And then I'm like, no, because then that takes us backwards. Okay, well, go ahead, go ahead, state your case, state your case. Nah, I'm, hey man, look, hold on, see, this is what I be saying. Cause I'm under, look, look, this is what I think. I think women can beat the patriarchy by yourself, if you guys want to, right? But I think the numbers that, the numbers in which it would take, women to come together as a collective to do so is virtually impossible. Without violence, I'm saying.

I think you can beat it peacefully, but it would take 40, 50%, you know what I'm saying? Like, I think that's damn near impossible to get, you know? So, okay, cool. If you can do that, great, do it. By all I mean, 4B it up, right? Like 4B literally could crush the system, no doubt. Like, one generation of women being like, I'm not having kids. Like 50 % of women just being like, I'm not having kids. The whole system is gonna crumble, right? But that's hard to do.

Short of that, if you can get 10 % of women, 15 % of women at some Molotov cocktails, ay, you know what I'm saying? Like now we, you know what saying? Like now we on to something, you know what mean? Like now we, you get some Aqua Tifana going, you get some, you know what I'm saying? You get some like orchestrated, you know, and I'm not advocating for violence. I'm just saying that they use violence all the time. Mm-hmm. would love for it to get pulled off without it.

You know, I would love a bloodless revolution, right? Of course, that's what I would love, but I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Is it possible? Yes. Is it probable? No. That's all I'm saying. So I'm all for it. By any means necessary, right? think a lot of our viewers know why we don't like pick me women. We want to hear from you, because I remember you did a few videos about a couple of pick me women, and you were like, they are problematic. So yeah, I want this to come from a man.

Why pick me's are problematic to feminism, to women being free from oppression? What's your take? pygmies are dangerous, like coons are dangerous for black people, right? Like it's the same, they're the same people. the same way me as a man, I'm dangerous to the patriarchy because, and you see, Mm-hmm. Little old me. Right? Little old me. I'm not even good. Like I don't got no hundreds of thousands. Like I'm not even good at this shit, right? Little old me. you getting there.

And we love to see it. I'm being real though. Yeah, it's all, I'm a good, hey, one day, whatever. But I'm saying, I'm not even on that type of time. Like I just, I talk my shit. I do the best job I could do, right? Like I'm a, I'm an outwork you kind of person. Like, you know, that's my thing. But like, but like, right? Like that's my work ethic or whatever you want to say. But like, even having just one man being like, yo, here's the flashlight. Let's put it on the system. I get death threats.

You know what I'm saying? Like I just go to the extreme. get death threats. They gonna pull up to my house. They gonna F my wife. They gonna unalive my babies. Like just straight up and down. I'm like. dude. my God. telling like, am I, but what am I lying about? You know what I'm saying? Like that's all I'll be wondering. I'm like, cool, you can threaten me all day, but can you point out the lie, right? It's, he's, he's a terrible human being behind closed doors.

Like they're hoping that out that one day something, but you know what I'm saying? It's always that it never, I'm going to challenge what you're saying because just one, they can't just one man being a problem, you know, being honest about the patriarchy is so destructive and corrosive to the patriarchy.

The same way having one woman be apologetic and making excuses for the patriarchy is so destructive because they'll prop her up and they'll amplify her voice way beyond where it needs to be, where it ever deserved to be heard. But they'll blow her up, Candace Owens. They'll blow her up, pearly things. They'll make her famous, put her on this pedestal, right? They'll give her money. They'll do all of this stuff. They'll prop her up because There's not enough of those women, right?

There's not enough of them. So when they get one, they make sure she's successful. They make sure she, you know what saying? She goes the distance or whatever the case may be. and they use her as a cudgel to beat women over the head with. Like, Sauron Woman. You don't wanna have children. This woman is saying your life isn't complete unless you have children and you are harmful to society because you don't wanna have children, right? How can you argue against this woman?

It's not me saying it, a man. It's not me saying it. It's this woman saying it. Even though it is a proverbial, patriarchal fist up that woman's rectum controlling her mouth, she's just a puppet. Literally. Thank you. Yeah. in a woman, you know what saying? That's why we have race traders and gender traders. That is a literal gender trader, right? And I am a gender trader, but not all gender traders and not all race traders are the same, right? Cause Lisa, you will be considered a race trader.

You're a hundred percent, you're considered a race trader without a doubt. I'm considered a gender trader. You know what I'm saying? That's what it is. Yeah. what kind of traitor would I be? you don't fit, you're nothing. You don't fit in any, cause the intersectionality, you avoid all the traits, cause everything hits you. So if you stand up to the system, who are you betraying? See what I'm saying? Who are you going against by?

You're actually a, no, you're like, you're a supporter of all the right things. Like to be, it's kind of like the traitor like people calling you a traitor is actually, it's supposed to be an insult to you. It's supposed to be like, well, you're a white woman. Why don't you support?

white women like because I'm not a dumb ass like I don't know I don't know what else to tell you like because that would be dumb of me that would be that would hold us back as a society you know because white women already have privilege so why would I support white women I want to support all women but some people view that as an attack so thereby I would be a traitor but like yeah you're just because of the intersectionality you are just a supporter like you're saying all the right things.

But yeah, people, you're a traitor to like pick me women. Yeah, I was gonna say that's the only people you're betraying is like a lot of, mm-hmm. That's why they get mad at you for saying the truth about men. Yes, the pick me is get really mad at you. I've noticed that. then like, yeah, white women get really mad at me whenever I say stuff about white women or whiteness in general.

Like those videos of mine, like, those are the only ones that get taken down and it actually sticks because it's, I know who's reporting it and like it really sticks. They will brigade the post, it gets very vicious. Yeah, very, very fast. But yeah. the white women. They'll come and get you.

uh And that's I mean, I talk about this all the time, but like when I came to America, like there's like a different air about the women because they do benefit from the patriarchy a lot more than like women in my own country. You know what I mean? Like the women in my country have like a solidarity that you can feel. then when you get to America and you get around like American white women, you're like, I am on my own.

Like this is a very different, it's a very different water you're swimming in. I mean, I think the reason why that is though is because outside of America, most countries is very homogenous. You know what I'm saying? That's what it is. it. to wield. Yes. If you brought, yes, absolutely. Like if my country was not racially homogenous, don't get, don't hear me saying that my people are not racist. They are terribly so.

It's just something I can pick up on, I think, because I'm like neurodivergent and like things are very binary to me. And like, I just, I learned to like tune into the ether a little bit. Like I pick up people's energy and just speaking of upholding the systems and having scripts and stuff, that's the thing that white women are very much infused with. And you have to fit in with that script and a lot of women don't.

A lot of women from other countries don't because they have never had that juxtaposition of, no, you exist alongside black women. I never had that before. And then so for me to see like white women in America who do exist alongside black women and then wield their privilege accordingly, it's like you are not all women, know? And like white women love to say this, they're like, well, why is it not all women? It's like, no, you, is it not all women?

Like, why is it not, when I tell you that black women experience a disproportionate you know, oppression, you're like, you're like. Ain't I a woman? No, that wasn't for you that somebody else said that a black woman said that like that was never for you. What do you mean? Ain't I a woman? Yes, you are like men. Yeah, it's it's. what you mean. The scripts are very loud in America. Yeah, for sure. Because you do, it's like a man. Yeah, you would have to give up some privilege.

But what is the privilege? It's the same privilege that men have under the patriarchy. Once you're older, you're an older man, you're a weaker man. If you weren't born with the tall genetics, if you're not born with whatever. you have a disability as a man, whatever, the patriarchy doesn't benefit you. It only benefits you, you know. I'd say it is... micropene? I don't think, maybe, if he got the money and he get buff enough. Ooh. There you go.

there's a lot of men with micro penises eh that go, I mean that's how they get them. They get them by injecting stuff and then the men love them for their muscles. But like. uh day. That's so funny. But like, I know I was born with a certain level of privilege. I'm just talking about like genetically, you know what I mean? Like, like genetically I was born with a certain level of privilege because I'm tall and I'm athletic. You know what I mean?

Like, I know that, like know there's like, if you look up all the presidents, Like Obama's like six two, Trump is six three, Ronald Reagan was like six two, um Abraham Lincoln was like six five, And you have to think about this. When you think about height in America and the average height and how much it has changed because we got better health. Even George Washington, all of them, you know what I'm saying?

So like, think about how amazing that is that even when everybody was short and everybody was dying at 35 years old and all that stuff, like And we know how much, like you can't, like, you don't think that that's weird. Nobody is connecting that dot, just on that alone that just proves that the patriarchy is full of these like unspoken rules. you know, that you wouldn't know until you know, and I wouldn't know, I didn't know. I was just born tall. I didn't know. I had no idea.

And everybody was nicer to me and I got more jobs and I didn't, just, and I'm like, yeah, no, that's like pretty privileged, whatever, you know what I'm saying? Like with women or whatever, which I don't. Pretty Privilege doesn't really, I don't think it works for women. I don't think Pretty Privilege works for women the way that it does for men. You know what I'm saying? Like it's not the same thing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. There's no negative to me attractive as a man.

You know what I'm saying? There's no negative to, there's no, only, you see what I'm saying? There's no downside to me being like an attractive man to even, I'm saying even two other men, not even just the women. I'm saying like two other men. They love you more. I just know they go belly up. It's crazy. Like I was actually going to ask and I think we might have even asked this last time, but it's always been fascinating to me.

Like, how do you think that affected your journey and like your relationship even with the patriarchy? Like, was it harder to like give up your perceived privilege? Do you feel like you had to give it up at all to do this work? Yeah, I did though. mean, well, I can't, I can't give up my privilege because my privilege is all the drugs I take are tested on my physiological makeup. All, you know, the car I drive. Yeah, yeah. I have a better rate of survival, you know what I'm saying?

That's the part of the patriarchy that I focus on. I don't even be focused on the like, men eat steak, women eat salad part of it. That's whatever, that's like low brow shit to bring in the dummies, right? Because that's all they know. But when you really start getting to the crux of it, to the core, to the core of the issue, it's like, on the daily, I benefit from the patriarchy whether I want to or not. I can't renounce my throne, you know what saying? I'm not the prince of the moon.

Like, I'm, you know what mean? Like I'm, I'm locked in with the me and the patriarchy like this, whether I want to be a part of it or not, I'm still a man and biologically I benefit from it. Forget socially, forget politically, forget economically, I biologically benefit from the patriarchy. So I didn't give up shit. I didn't have to sacrifice anything. only, and like I said, because I never really liked men to begin with. I never really, you know what saying?

Like I always thought, I always thought, and not to sound whatever, I always thought I was better than most men. a, you know, and I can, again, these are not things that I could, you know, contextualize or put into words, I felt like that. And today, I say this all the time, be like, I'm not a good man, I would never say that, no, no, I stopped saying it, I'm a great man. Mm. I'm top tier man. I'm a top tier man. I'm better than 99.9 % of men I've ever seen.

Because the bar is so low to be a good man. It's super easy to be a good man. I'm fucking an awesome man. Like who gives a fuck? But am I a good human? And the answer is no. Like I don't feel like I'm a good, you know what I'm saying? Like I can't say overall I'm a good human, especially if my bar is sovereign woman or Lisa or my wife or the women I know. You know what I mean? I'm like, I ain't nowhere nears. I'm nothing like her. I'm not in a competition with my wife, thank God, but like...

Right, I know. you know, that saying the like the best man is still not as good as the average woman. Y'all can, men can get mad about that all they want to. They can try to flip it around and it don't work cause it's stupid. And that's real quick. Men, stop stealing women's shit and acting like if you say it in reverse, see how stupid it sounds? Yes, it sounds stupid. Yeah, you right. It does sound stupid. When you say it, it sounds stupid when you say it. Yes, I agree. You got me there.

for sure. that, yes. And that's why we say like, oh, like the good men like are aware of this, you know, that's what it takes because you were handed a different script. Like your script actually seeks to, to de-evolutionize you. Like it seeks to make you into a little smooth little cog that's not gonna clog up the machine of the patriarchy. Kind of like you were saying, that's men's job. Men's job is to hold up the patriarchy. Like I often liken it to the movie Mad Max.

I don't know if you've seen it, like the new version of it, the guy is like just trying to run away the whole time. Like Mad Max himself, he's like, I don't want any part of this. I don't wanna be one of the war boys. I don't wanna be one of the war heroes.

I don't want to be like a right hand man to this like horrible dictator. I don't want any of it. Like your choice is you either fully participate in it or you leave to where the other men cannot harass you or trap you or try to like get you to act just like them. Like that was his whole mission was to just get the fuck out of there. And like he ended up helping the women along the way. But like that was kind of like his end game was like, I still just want to.

get out of here, I don't even want to live in this new society, whatever, I'm just done with the whole thing. And I'm like, I feel like a lot of men can probably relate to that with this journey because it really, the end game of the patriarchy is that world that they live in with no water, man and his nepo babies, scrotus and anus or whatever, running the whole country. gets all the women.

and all the other men are just war boys or everybody else just lives in poverty and they're all ugly and broke and like they have no clothes and they have to stand outside waiting for the, you know? Mm-hmm. That's what I tell men, that's what polygamy would look like. And they always get mad. And I'm like, bro, if polygamy was real, all the women would be at Drake's house.

y'all, like, the way y'all be really up here thinking that, like, if we practice polygamy, then men will have more access to women, it doesn't make sense, bro. You're gonna have less access. You're gonna have less access to women, And... But yeah, okay. So obviously a million thank yous for joining us again today.

Like I feel like those conversations It's just always so helpful for women to see, know, hear it straight from the horse's mouth, for lack of a better term, like just hear a man just be honest about like his where he's been, where he's come from, like the things that sort of opened his eyes along the way. I know we have men that listen to this podcast, like whether it's out of spite or out of, you know, because they do enjoy it, like I think that's also extremely helpful.

You know, we talked last time and be sure that y'all check out this episode. We talked a lot about, you know, raising boys with public. So please be sure you go back and check that out. Please be sure you check out his channels. I mean, obviously the man is a machine, honestly.

But Sovrin and I are both trying to lock in to get to the level where you're at, where you're just, you know, putting out content, like at the rate that you are, like you're very much committed to this work and I do like, I even appreciate that because you know, a lot of people, why so much content? Because people yearn for it. Like people, you know what I mean? Like even when I like don't post for a few days, like I'll get complaints and it's like putting out three to four videos a day.

Yeah, it's actually really helpful because it is sometimes it is more about quantity, like and not even over qual. think all your videos are both quantity and quality, but it's just like. getting the word out there because you really are, like the reason you're one of the only men we've ever had on this podcast, the only man, is because like it's really hard to find men who don't look like they're like fucking stroking it while they're talking about women's issues.

Like I don't know how else to explain it. It's just like you are not like, right? Yeah, stroking their own ego, like for lack of a better term, it's just like. mom went somewhere else. Sorry. No, that is what I meant also, but it's both, yes. It's just like, man, you're getting off on being a good guy, you know? Like you think you're so cool, but I just love your genuine frustration with this system. Like it makes me feel like I can actually relate, you know?

get to a place with men where you be like, I don't like them either. Like, cause you just talk to them every day and they gaslight me the same way they gaslight women. And was like, yeah, this is weird. Like you guys are like, this is, you know, like, they re like, I just started, it's not normal. was like, bro, as. terrible as I've done, you know what saying? Like stuff that I've done or whatever, you know, in my youth and coming up and all that stuff. Like, I was never stupid.

I just never had the information. I never had the conversations. You know what I'm saying? if I talk to me now, when I was 25, I would have been like, no, no, that's a fair point. I wouldn't have been like, but it goes both ways. Like I wasn't, look, that's what I'm saying. When I was at age, look, I promise, I swear to y'all, my wife had to tell me that women also cheated. Like I was always like, was like, women don't even be cheating. You know what saying?

And she was like, no, women be cheating. And I was like, nah, that's like a man thing. Like men be cheating. we, you know, and my wife was like, my wife literally had to like point out a bunch of women that we knew. She was like, well, what about her? What about her? And I was like. Okay, women be cheating sometimes. But I never thought like women, you know what I'm saying? never was like, I never, always knew that men were worse than women just in general. You know what I'm saying?

Like I always knew like we were the bad guys, but the way that I was able to rationalize it was because I always got this reassurance from other men that what I was doing was okay. And as soon as I rejected that, then I was like, oh. Okay, yeah, no, all this stuff is stupid. All this stuff is bad. That wasn't right. All that that I learned before and I could, and I was able just to get rid of it and discard it.

But these dudes, they don't want to, I mean, they feel like they're going to die if they learn something new. They're like, you taught me something new. my God. I'm like, bro, like blow on. I'm like, dog, you're good dog. You can learn something new. You don't have to gaslight everybody. we've got to wrap it up real quick. One more quick question in public.

What's your view on the male loneliness epidemic and do you think women nowadays in this current climate, do you think they're wasting their time with the men with this misogynistic mindset, this patriarchal mindset? Wasting their time like dating them or just trying to be in community with them in general. be in community, trying to date them, trying to take them seriously, trying to go. a woman, I wouldn't take men seriously. Like I wouldn't, yeah. Me personally, I wouldn't take men seriously.

cause I don't really, y'all know I'm not like an advice giver to women, but like. My only, cause my only advice for women, cause I'm talking to so many women, I don't know your husband, I don't know your boyfriend, I don't know your, you know what mean? Like don't know these dudes. So if I'm just giving like general advice to the general group, it's like yeah, abstain from all men, men are freaking terrible. non-shitty man is like slim to none. who am I?

Why would I set you up and be like, no, you gotta keep trying. You need, no, no, no, no, just avoid all men. That's your safest, healthiest bed. But if you wanna be with men, I don't have a problem with you wanting to be with men. I think it's that what women do to me, just makes, like all of it, I can understand why. Like I understand the women that are like. I want a man to pay all my bills. understand the women that are like, I'm gonna go 50 50.

I understand the women that's like, I'm never dating a man. I understand the women that's like, I wanna have children. I understand the women that's like, I'm never having kids. Like I get all of it. It all makes sense to me. They're not conflicting with one another. They all make sense, right? So who am I to tell women, you know, what to do? I'm just saying the best thing I could do though, as a man is.

Validate like you're not crazy like what you feel about men if you think men are crazy men are crazy if you think man aint shit men aren't shit in General like your daddy probably wasn't shit your wife your husband probably aint shit your boyfriend probably aint shit You probably making up a bunch of excuses the same way my wife got to make up a bunch of excuses to be with me You know I'm saying like it's the same shit.

I know that I know she I know that woman rolled over and looked at me in the morning sometimes and be like, this motherfucker, I know she gotta think that. I would, without a doubt I would, with no doubt about my gosh. I yeah, you know, I've recently figured out like a vetting tactic that has been blowing my own mind because it's so underrated.

But I think if most women were to ask themselves, does my boyfriend, husband, dad, brother, you know, friend, whatever, make my life better and make my life easier? If you can say yes to those two questions and if you as a man can say, yes, I make her life better. I make her life easier. Then you're a good man. You can go around talking about I'm a good man. If you, you know what I mean? Then there's work left to do and that is.

men think that they are like the best providers and they think like they really, no, really, they really think they really think they're good men. The worst men, the worst men think that they're. And the awareness is like the first step, you know what I mean? I think that's like, a lot of men would say that they're like, I just by nature, like not by nature, but by the way that I was raised, like what I know how to do, what I don't know how to do.

I'm probably not making her life better and easier, but I will die trying, that. at it, yeah. But I pay all the bills, but that's not, that's what I'm saying. Listen to what I'm saying. It don't mean nothing. That's what I be trying to, that's why I be laughing at the provider man. I'm like, I pay all the bills and I'm still like, nah, I gotta, I'm way behind. I'm still not making that woman's life.

that the worst men will never admit that because they think they are the cream of the crop God sends just because they pay the bills. That's the problem. That's the issue. They don't do shit, but they think that they're like, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. That's what I always say. I'm like, my husband's paying his own bills. OK, don't come for me. Like he's paying his own bills. What the hell? look, hey, I got a California king size bed. If I was by myself, I'd probably have a queen.

I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like it ain't really much. Hey, I got the same amount of bed. I don't know what y'all want from me, but I would never feel like, like, man, like, yeah, man, I'm paying the bills. like that's, my life wouldn't be better without, fuck no. Without my wife? No, hell no. You would just have a queen bed, but no queen. no queen, useless. might as well, I might as well, hey, and that's why a lot of men be sleeping on crates. Because why? Because why?

Had the TV be on the ground, camping down the living room, the TV on the ground, like, oh man, it's crazy. eating out of a dog bowl. Yeah, yeah. A single plate, a single fork. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me like, I'm a king. Yeah, yeah, I'm a king. Well, thank you. the cooler and the ottoman combo, yeah. It's just practical, okay? It's just practical. oh well, thank you so much again for being here. I know I already gave the spiel, so go follow public.

You know, especially if you're a man, just go learn something like please get off, delete the comment you were typing. All right, delete the comment you were typing here and go listen to like 10. Public offender videos, do 100 pushups, then come back here if you still want to. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Just listen. Oh, it's my favorite. I'm always like, my show is on. It's the best. Yeah, all right. Well, we'll be right back with our mail bag. Thank you.

Welcome back and it's time to dig into our mailbag. We have a very, kind of alludes to something public was describing earlier, anyways, I'll just get into it. Hi, just wanted to start off and say I recently found your podcast and it has completely. changed my view on a lot of things, really grateful for your content and we are very grateful for you, thank you so much.

My question is, for probably the last five years, my brother-in-law has been sending me inappropriate sexual text messages that usually include things like, come join me in the shower, you should have a threesome with your sister and me, et cetera. But recently, it's escalated to him talking about his penis size and how he is in bed and it's making me very uncomfortable. By the way, he's lying about both of those things.

I've asked him to stop numerous times reminding him that he's married to my sister, but he thinks I'm not being serious and keeps doing it. It's getting to the point where I don't even want to go to family functions because I'm so enraged at how gross he's being. I haven't told my parents because I know my dad would absolutely lose it. What should I do? Girl, that sounds terrifying, I'm so sorry. It sounds like he wants her to tell the sister. There's no way he's doing this without...

Does he want out and he just wants you to... Public enlighten us. We need a man. I'm actually so glad you're here, because I have no idea what to do with this. Cause I'm confused by a couple of things like why, tell your sister, I'm sorry, first and foremost, what are we doing? Secondly, he just wants some vagina. it ain't, I mean it's real, you know what I'm saying? He just, dang, I don't know. You know what I'm saying?

Like I don't know how, he just want to, he don't, he want to put it in the group chat. He want to put his wang dang in the group chat so everybody can see it. Y'all be, see, you know what it is. This is what y'all gotta remember about me. whenever you try to add extra steps to things that men do, don't. You're doing too much. Right? Like just keep it, like, he just warning. He just wants to sleep with as many, you know what saying? Like if you think like that, like just boil it down.

It ain't no Game of Thrones. Like we're not that smart. It's not it. Like we just want to hunch as many women as we. wife's sister though? no, no, no, no, no, no, proximity. Proximity. Proximity. It's easier. You sleep with the women, you sleep with your coworkers, you sleep with your, the people in the church, you sleep with the women that are around you. That's what you do. that. But isn't it safe to say that he clearly does not care about his marriage though?

There's no way that he cares about his marriage. mean anybody that cheese doesn't care about their marriage. So that's new. Like why would he be any, why would he be an exception? That's my thing. Not only do you want to cheat, you are going after her sister. To me, that is you hate your wife. And he wants her. brain though. Yeah. He got the porn brain. I'm not. invitation to the threesome kind of is letting me know that maybe the sister realizes, like maybe she knows or like she kind of.

Did the sister not go to her? I know that's like there's some definitely some information missing. Right. brazen. Okay, we need more context to this because does your sister know? Like, you scared are you scared to tell her? Do you think she, like this, there's a lot of stuff missing. There's too much missing. would, she doesn't want to tell her parents. She didn't say, don't want to tell my sister. She said, I don't want to tell my parents. Like, why would you circumvent?

Why would you go to your dad? And I don't know the ages either. She could be 18 or her sister could be, you know, 30 for all we know. I think, you know, if she's a really young woman and maybe, but it's me, Lorraine Obamatham. your sister would want to fuck you and her husband. Your sister. You want to commit incest with your sister and your husband. So that just sounds like a... No, I know it happens, but I'm saying... That's where it got it from, that's all I'm saying.

too much missing There are so many angles. I don't really understand, because how is he this comfortable coming to her in the first place? That's kind of what I'm... but she didn't want to go to her sister. She didn't say anything about going to her sister. I don't know what to say. she could know something about her sister that she ain't telling us that we, you know what mean? Like, it could be that. Leave them both alone. Until she divorces him.

Yeah, yeah, because if you, if you don't feel safe... it, then she probably isn't going to divorce him. That's what I'm saying. It's so much we don't know. Either way, it's a win-win. listen, if she knows, then she's in on it. Can't be around her at that point. If she doesn't know and you can't tell nobody, protect yourself, right? Gotta leave them alone. Either way, you gotta leave them alone. You gotta leave them alone because at this point, he's sounding grapey.

me. I would want my sister to tell me that my husband was... if she's not if you were a pick me though If you were a pick me then you would not want her to tell you you would want you would view that as a breaching of like A whole different. I know because you're not a pick me. But if you think that the man is a prize, it her girl she was getting cheated on and she hated us. She hated me and my wife, we told her. yeah, yes, no, that's a real thing that happens.

Yeah, yeah, because they're like, I would have rather not known, like, why would you tell me? Because now I know. Like before I didn't know and I could have my like, happy life. Like I thought my man was a prize. Like I knew he had a wandering eye, but I just didn't know whether he like acted on it or not.

And now you have You know, it's like you're they view it as like you're trying to take something away from me and also to me this sounds like a very patriarchal culture that she comes from so like I'm also wondering if she is not like American because I know my dad would absolutely lose it sounds like he would you know might try to pull up with a weapon or something like that because he feels disrespected because his daughter was disrespected like

by proximity, so it sounds like she may be afraid of like this, it's almost like a hyper patriarchal, you know, mess happening because. I'm just. well, she went straight into, can't tell my dad or my parents, whatever, cause my dad would lose it. I guess it does sound like her sister must not even be a factor because there's no point in telling the sister because she's either a pick me or she's in on it or yeah, or trapped and the husband is just disre, that could be the case too.

So, okay, if she's not telling the sister, sounds like a sister is a. No, motherfucking factor, basically, in so many words. In that case... to protect yourself? Click boom. I would tell my dad. Right. Yeah. absolutely lose it, but that's just me. You know, we... just being real, you gonna... in my mind, if I know my daddy would lose it on somebody and I want that person to stop, I probably would tell my dad for that reason. That's just me though.

Now I don't want my daddy, I mean, well, I don't care about my dad, but in theory, yeah, I want my daddy going to jail. actually doing something, because that's like what my dad would do. My dad would, he will find a way to like intimidate you without actually breaking the law, so to speak. oh I would tell my dad. yeah, maybe you just ask him. Maybe you say, hey dad, what would you do? Or like, what do you think a dad should do if he finds out that one of his daughters is getting cheated on?

Like maybe you just ask him and just see. Engage where he's at with it. Huh? I'm definitely the, I said I'm definitely the go to jail type of dude. I don't, that's why I don't, that's why I don't be, that's why a lot of people don't get me involved in stuff. Cause I'm like, I be like going there. I be like, oh, okay. Y'all want to, cause I, I don't know. Like I don't know how to not, I don't know how to cut it off. You know what saying? That's why I be trying to be like, oh, like cool.

You know what I mean? Like I don't, don't know. You gonna do something like that? Cause now it's a, no, for real. Cause now you're like, it's a threat to me. I'm like, okay, so you, you like grapey. On one of my daughters, what you doing to them? You know what mean? Like now I gotta, and if you not, I'm not saying like I would just pull up and smash, you know I'm saying? Like, but I'm gonna pull up and be on some like, you gotta go, wrap all this shit up. You gotta go.

Like you gotta get out of here. You know, I'm gonna overdo it. You know, so yeah. um If I were you, I would tell him, if you don't stop, I'ma tell my sister. If the sister knows already, I'ma tell my dad. And then, yeah, that's what I would do. Threaten to tell the sister. If that doesn't do anything because she's in on it or she's weak or whatever the case is, I'm gonna tell my dad. The next time you come at me, I'm gonna tell my dad. Now, I don't know if this man is violent.

I mean, don't know if saying that is gonna put you in harm's way. You gotta gauge that, because I don't know. No, but I'm saying like, you know, I've threatened men that I was gonna do something and they did absolutely nothing, and because they were weak. And then you threaten some men and then they will like blow the fuck up. So you would have, she would have to gauge what kind of man he is, the best to her ability.

But if you think it's safe for you to say, well, I mean, I wonder how my dad would feel about this and just see how he reacts to it. That's what I would do. But at the same time, I would gauge whether it's safe. Because there's men that I know would probably kill me if I said I'm going to. You know what I'm saying? So I wouldn't tell you what my next move is. But there are some guys that you just, you know what mean? They're not going to do shit. So you just got to decide. That's the hard part.

have to worry about their safety or like your even your sister's safety because it's like, I'm gonna tell my sister and it's like, then he puts hands on the sister, you know, and it's. I was going to say, in situations like this, and I've done this in my 20s, instead of me addressing a situation, I would set it up to where the situation would address itself. So for an example, if I knew.

Tony Braxton in that one video when she set the dude up and then he came in the back and she pointed to the camera and then he wasn't man enough for me. You remember that video? I do, but it's been a long time since I've seen it. Okay, yeah, it's been a long time. she had her real husband at the time in the video and he was like, it was her and Robin Givens.

Those were the two and then Robin Givens was the girlfriend and then, She just strung him along a little bit just to give him a little and then she got him in the back room of the club and then he was taking off his shirt and stuff and then she just pointed up to the camera like, gotcha. And then Robin walked in, yeah, so maybe do that. Yeah, but there was a time when I knew that a man was cheating on a woman and I didn't, I wanted to tell her, but then I was like, no, I'm not going to tell her.

But I like told her indirectly without her ever knowing it was me, if that makes sense. So maybe, I don't know, you might have to get creative. No, no, because I believe, wait, which, no. Did you ever watch it? A long time ago. I mean, when it was like popular. I just don't remember though, like a lot of it.

when they were trying to tell Sammy when... uh I don't oh When, um Snooki and uh Jenny were trying to tell Sammy that Ron was like cheating on her, but they're all living in the same house and like they know each other's handwriting, whatever. So their brilliant plan was to go to like the local public library and type it out on like a computer um and like, you know, tell her that way. And they were like, wait, but we have to use like, big words so that she won't know it's us.

And it's like, no, she's gonna know it's you because y'all live in the same house. But uh yeah, it was very, very funny. it, but that's funny. it was like the first night at bed when you left, Ron made out with two girls and put his head in between a cocktail waitress's breasts, also was grinding with multiple fat women. When you left crying at clutch, when you left crying at, I know. Because it was like 2002, okay? It was like... have to do with anything, man? Let them women live.

Fat girls need Hey, I bet you there was, there was probably like five, eight, 160 pounds too. Cause back then everybody was fat. They was calling Christina Aguilera fat. Everybody was fat in 02. I was like, damn. yes. There are like multiple people in the house know, therefore you should know the truth. And therefore was their big word that they used, by the way. my gosh. funny. What a time. so what's our official advice? Is it to set him up? Is it to...

Well, I guess we're giving you options because you didn't really give us all the details. So I guess here's your options, okay? You can write, you can do what Jenny and Snooki did and you can write her an anonymous note, okay? Multiple people in the house know, therefore you should know the truth, okay? You can do the Tony Braxton. You can lure him. No, wait, do we want Ryan to shake in his head? No. Okay, well, you can set him up in a way that, right?

What if you responded positively to one of the text messages and then sent it to your sister? Or like, you know? Wait, positively, what you mean? if you were like, yeah, okay, I'll text her and set up the threesome. Like what if you just text her and was like, hey, your husband wants to have a threesome, like you down, when should we do it? Like if she doesn't know. The next, yeah, you know, yeah, that's a good idea.

I'll text my sister and see if she, that sounds crazy, but you gotta be creative. Yeah. of asking for it at this point. Or do you go the full nuclear option and you tell your dad? Those are your three? I would, the dad could possibly be the last resort if nothing else works. If she thinks he's gonna lose it and like be get violent or whatever and she's scared that he might go to jail, use that as a last, yeah I know. might just be able to call the police. Like if you're 16, just call the police.

I don't know what to like, that's weird, you know? Yeah, yeah. And whatever you do, you're gonna probably have to accept that maybe your sister may, it may strain your relationship. So you have to be prepared for that possibility as well. Cause if she's a pick me, is it gonna go stronger or yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So you gotta be mentally prepared for that. It's not gonna be the same.

Yeah, I think that's kind of all we got for you, babe, because we don't really have, you know, all the pieces of all the information. I appreciate that because we do want to keep you anonymous. But, you know, feel free to follow up. Let us know how it goes or, you know, follow up with with more questions or whatever, because we are heavily invested. So. you can write back in and give us a little bit more detail if you want, maybe. we can we can help you go from there. Revisit.

All right well we love y'all. Thank you for writing into the mailbag. It is mailbag at sirensound.co. I have a wonderful recommendation for y'all that will be in the notes. It's an article breaking down like all about how like masculinity works. Obviously our other recommendation is The Public Offender.

All of his channels everything like that and before we go I'm just gonna read off our poll results and then we will see some or I hope even more of you in our crumpet segment which I think public is also gonna stick around for to play our little Name that microaggression game Alright so

Our question was, have you ever had a guy use red pill man speak on you? And uh here were the options. uh Yes, and I fell for it at first. uh B was yes, but I only realized what it was later. C was not directly only online. And then D was he tried, but I shut it down. Sovereign, what would your answer be? Have you ever had a guy use red pill man speak on you? yes, I would say all of them. I've experienced all four. For sure. Oh yeah. Yeah. that's, I think that's probably where most of us are at.

But yeah, the one that won out was yes, but I only realized what it was later. And that's why we edu, that's, that's why we try to educate y'all because to some of us, this is so familiar and seems like old news, you know, but it like breaking it down on the podcast has really helped me to see and like, response that people have had to it has really helped me to see that like there's a lot of things we take for granted because we're swimming in that water and a lot of people are

yeah a lot of people just don't know any better so that's why we're here so thanks y'all for sticking around and we will see you next week please join us for crumpets if you are able bye I was gonna say my heart's not working.