"Pick-Me" Dating Tips Exposed

Welcome to the Audacity, the podcast by women for women and anyone brave enough to listen. Welcome one. Welcome all. We're so glad you're here. I'm Lisa. I'm joined by my co-host, Gwen and Sovereign Woman. Welcome, ladies. Hi hi. howdy. Sorry, I always put y'all on the spot like that every week. Otherwise, it's just me talking for so long. I miss Gwen's howdy, y'all. Yeah. It's still there. Howdy howdy.

haha And if you are here and you don't follow us on any other social media platforms please do so. We love our Instagram, we post things on there, we post things on TikTok, we post on YouTube so please follow all the socials. And of course if you are not in the Patreon yet that is the place that we want you to be the most because we put a lot of hard work into the Patreon. Gwen has a blog pinned right now. I write a weekly blog.

the thing we're most excited about lately is our crumpet segment, which is basically a little after show where we get to just chat about like a random piece of news or media or just whatever's been on our mind. It's very casual, very laid back, but we would love for all of you to be able to get that. That is available on our VIP tier as well the option to send in listener tea. So whenever we do our tea time, can chime in. And so that is available for our VIP members.

So please get on in there, select whatever tier that you're comfortable with that you can afford, but make sure you share it with somebody, help get the word out. Crumpets is also unfiltered, by the way. Unhinged. That's the right word. there. So get in there while it's small enough that we can do that, guess, because eventually. um yeah, uh please do that if you haven't yet. And um we are going to move on to our tea time,

All right, what's your tea ladies? Sovereign, I kind of want to start with you. Yours is the funniest. Yes, so if you guys haven't heard by now, there's a rapper named Slim Thug and he's from Houston where Megan Thee Stallion is from and he is literally obsessed with her.

He was having conversations with himself about how she should have chose him and he can have her rolling around in a Rolls Royce and I'm not really sure how long he's had a crush on her but apparently he saw videos of her dancing. to two of his songs. And so he did a whole video asking the audience, do we think he has a shot? He think he has a shot because her dancing to his songs meant something along the lines of daddy come get me.

And if that doesn't say daddy come get me, then I don't know what does. I can't remember exactly the phrase, but it was something along those lines. The entitlement, the entitlement. I did a video about this on my YouTube. Yeah, yeah. He's entitled. And Megan Thee Stallion actually responded, I guess a few months ago. I'm just not seeing it recently though. she said, Slim Thug, I don't want you. I just like your music, babe. And then I read the comments and somebody in the comments was like him.

She called me babe. And it was like a bunch of like. Yeah. Yeah. comment sections were just like kind of clowning him because of his delusion. It's kind of funny until it's not. He definitely strikes me as the type that would like stalk her if he knows exactly which world tour she's going to be on or what city she's going to be in this week. so my concern is that she, you know, kind of beefs up her security a little bit, maybe because he's. Y'all, check it out. Check out the clip.

It's actually everywhere. So many people have done their takes on this. uh Public Offender is on TikTok. Yeah, but go watch mine on YouTube. Thank you very much. It's pretty entertaining stuff. Yeah, but that's all my tea. even be southern bells and peas, because even when Megan was trying to be polite, they still take it as an invitation. And then these freaks wonder why women aren't nice to them. Because y'all just assume it's just an invitation. Or anywhere. smile. This is why, this is why.

Literally y'all will take a crumb and turn it into she wants me. Yes. Entitlement and like delusion. It's crazy how far they can really run with it and like make up these narratives because they're yeah well they're enabled by society to do so like they just are it sucks Alright

Gwen what was your tea? Well, in other news, there has been this new feature added to Uber that I think starts next month or this month that allows women to connect with women drivers and uh women drivers to connect with women passengers so that there's less of this kerfuffle happening. But it seems nice, right? But really this is a result of all of these class action lawsuits uh between women who have been sexually assaulted.

versus these ride share apps that do not background check their drivers and people who use this app and the lawsuit that they allege is that like you had a responsibility to ensure safety at least in some way shape or form and at every opportunity you just failed those measures because if you knew that there was an allegation against this right I mean

against this driver then that should have been like uh a reason to like you know kick them off the platform or if you knew there was an allegation against even like somebody who was a passenger then still like you should have you know kick them off the app, but I think that there was just no protocols in place, no policy, because essentially what these apps aim to do is that they want to keep you as like a gig

worker, so you're under this like kind of class of a self-contractor, so you're not classed as like an employee, because if you're an employee, then you're subject to things like benefits packages, insurance, and background checks, and so they don't want, you know, these things to like get in the way of them making their money. because for every ride that you take, they take some of that money. God forbid. So no, but while... trying to crawl out of the hole they dug, right.

Being like non profitable for not profitable for a long time. now all that angel investment money is gone and they have to actually turn a profit. They're trying to cut corners, which sucks because they're still not going to background check anyone, right. They're just going to. allow women to connect with women. Okay, perfect. a last ditch effort. just, know, for the women that came together and did those class action lawsuits, I do want to thank you. Like this is, you know, a result of that.

And thank you so much that your bravery and your ability to, you know, come forward with what has happened to you. So we could finally get, know, what women have been asking for, for these types of ride share apps. And I just wanted to take that time to really say thank you. Yeah, I would imagine that they are probably hard up to find qualified drivers, which is probably why they don't do background checks.

I'm assuming that they don't And I just saw a video where a guy got in and a gun on a woman driver. I think it was Lyft or it might have been Uber. Ultimately, I think he killed her. can be passengers. Like, why do they ruin everything? Like, why can't you do anything right? Like you just think he killed her. She said something about, I have a family, why are you doing this? And he still shot her. That's just a clip I just seen yesterday or the day before. But it's stuff like that.

so ladies, what I want for y'all, if you're going to use Uber or Lyft, always have something. Record yourself. Make sure you get names. Have some pepper spray. And have a pepper spray like.

yeah yeah yeah if you got a pew pew if you're in a you're in a state where you legally carry one you don't know and I know there are guys that pick up women for the sole purposes of sex trafficking and kidnapping that happens too so you have to be very very very very careful just always have some kind of protection document stuff a picture of the license plate know

this whole letting him get your bags and putting them in a trunk and you're not looking to see what that license plate is, is princess treatment or whatever, absolutely not. You need to know where you're going, you need to drive an Uber or a Lyft? I saw a woman, she was saying that she never gets picked up right in front of her house. She gets picked up like down the street or around the corner.

I would recommend that too, depending on where you live, if it's safe to do so, when we're talking about this, think last week where I was saying when I get stuff delivered, I don't use my actual name. I use a guy's name. And I never open the door. My instructions is leave it at the door because, you know, uh women have complained that men have come back to stalk them or have stayed outside, knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, even though the instructions say leave on the porch.

The guys will like leave and come back and stuff like that. You have to be very, very, very careful. it's crazy that men have ever been like, yeah, women just shouldn't work like, no, you shouldn't work. You shouldn't have jobs. cannot be trusted to be a postman. You can't be trusted to be a taxi driver. What the hell? Yes, seriously. You can't even like match a picture to an item like it's crazy making. actually here's the thing. They make it easy.

If you scan the wrong thing, it won't go through. It'll say, and this is the wrong thing. If you scan the wrong size, the wrong amount of ounces, all of that, they... of looking for the right one, what do they do? They just message you, okay, here's the replacement. I couldn't find it. No resilience, no nothing, no critical thinking skills. women shouldn't work. Like, get the fuck out of here. sex at work. uh though, uh I- work.

quick we got a listener like a mailbag uh for a woman who was a Lyft driver and I just wanted to do a quick shout out to her real quick because she let us know that Lyft had already, yeah because she wanted to let us know that Lyft had already had this feature for women to be connected with each other on ride share apps. I was like, that's pretty cool. I didn't know that Lyft had already had that feature.

I just knew like Uber didn't and that's the one that like is mostly used in my city, which is Houston. Yeah. to city, like which uh ride share app is more prevalent, like Lyft versus Uber versus like maybe some other ones that I don't know of. So, but yeah, thanks. Yes, our email address is mailbag at sirensound.co for anyone that wants to email questions, inquiries, or things that we can chat about. So my tea is on the tea app, which had a very unfortunate reckoning this week.

And it had been one of our recommendations. It was something that Gwen like checked out and kind of vetted before we did that. And unfortunately, it got hacked and like a bunch of women were doxxed. And it is just absolutely terrible. what happened and apparently it was don't know do we have that confirmed that it was created by a man? The T-app? um The company's founder is Sean Cook, according. a man, my god. I should have done more. I really do feel like I should have done... It was.

Exactly. And so I fell under that marketing trap, me personally, and I do want to own up to that. have a woman's face for it, you know how behind every business there's the actual person that owns it and then they have a face for it. That could be the case, but apparently the guy who... owns it or who started it started because of his mom's bad dating choices. don't don't quote me on that. That's what I read. I don't know how sure that how true that is. But that's that's the idea.

I personally just thought somebody knew how lucrative it could be and just decided to. I also wonder if it actually got hacked. Like, has that been confirmed that it's been hacked? Or is that like a scare tactic to get women to get off? OK, because that's what I was wondering. sovereign always like has a has a little angle. She's like, well, but did you all think about this? No, it is. You're asking the right questions, I think. No, seriously.

these men want women off the T-app so bad they are willing to do anything. Yeah. was probably the goal. it's like, we just can't have nice things. And it's crazy because men will be like, men aren't predators. It's not all men. What the fuck is this then? Is this not completely predatory behavior? You know what that just made me think of? choose better, choose better, why are you choosing these men, choose better.

And so we made an app to do just that, so we can warn women to choose a different man. for And now it's a problem. Y'all said choose better. What's the problem? But did you see that video where the guy broke his back windshield window because his wife, I guess, was going through his phone and she wouldn't give it to him and she locked herself in the car. He broke his entire back windshield. And everybody in the comments was like, girl, that ain't no woman. run.

Yes. There's something else way sinister than that. I was just like, wow. check the backyard. Check, check under the bed for like mementos or whatever. I'm so serious. That's scary. Have you all seen, I've seen so many of those videos where like men are breaking down like the bathroom door and like bedroom doors like. my God, for real. Some loose tiles in the ceiling. Yeah. if you ask a man to go through his phone and he reacts in any way other than just giving you his phone, that's your answer.

I'm sorry. I am so sorry. That is your answer. You don't need to know anything else. He's arguing with you or he's trying to deflect or he's trying to tell you you're crazy or he crashes out. It doesn't matter what reaction he gives. If that reaction is anything other than here, babe, I don't got nothing to hide. You already have your answer. It is what it is.

If he's willing to break his own car, I don't know if it was her car or his car, but the windshield, the back windshield, the entire back window was, really? He was hiding some real dirt. That's not, I'm cheating on you with women. That's not what that was. That's something else. That's crazy. Yeah, and I think that's like part of the reason too is like men want to have their cake and eat it too.

They don't want to be a good person, but they still want to have a woman in their life to do all the shit work. y'all are so cruel and evil, honestly. Like at some point it's just How do you justify that? The patriarchy allows them to be assholes. Kaye Michelle told them this years ago that most men are not, she said she don't believe most men are good people and everybody said, oh you're bitter, you need to heal and it's like, oh look at where we are now at 2025 and it's only getting worse.

So the craziest part is they really act like they don't understand why misandrists allegedly exist or why women are not dating anymore. why women are focusing on themselves. It's like, I don't understand that you think women are tired of this bullshit. Y'all don't think women are tired. Like at this point in the game, y'all don't think women are tired. but we're not tired enough, I guess.

I saw a video saying that like this this lady was saying, well, women want to be equal to men, but they refuse to commit 89 percent of all like violent crimes and like 93 percent of all the. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. true. We're not scary. We're not scary enough, but I think we're getting there Andrie. I'm saying, I've been saying it for a long time that we need to start jumping men, like in groups, like we need to roving gangs of women.

with Yes, oh, can you imagine if women just in droves started doing taekwondo and stuff? Yeah. walk around with some nightsticks, you know? I'm so serious, I'm about to start, like some of us like older women, you know, that don't go to clubs anymore, we should just stand outside of clubs, like at last call and just make sure there's no fucking funny business and just beat up, seriously, start beating men with nightsticks. I don't know, yeah. Eyeballs.

together and bringing sticks to beat these men with that have been accused of hurting these little girls. It's a natural outcome. Yes. Yes. to be honest, I can't wait. I hope I'm around when that day comes. my God. Even if I'm just a bystander, even if I'm just an innocent bystander watching through the blinds, I cannot wait. wait.

Yes. Hey, y'all see the videos of the guys, it's a bunch of people with their cats listening to the uh neighbors arguing or whatever, and these cats have these real reactions. Have y'all seen those? my, I'm on cat everything. Cat IG, cat talk, cat YouTube, I'm on it. Yeah, it's so funny. I can't wait to get cats again. I know it cracks me up that you're a cat lady with no cats. Like fully a cat lady, just doesn't. A cat lady in training, let's say that. Cat lady in waiting.

Yes. Well, we do have like kind of a serious, you know, I wouldn't call this tea.

This is just news that I feel like is It just needs to be addressed, especially on the kind of tail end of our consent episode last week. just trigger warning. You can fast forward to the main segment if you are not ready for something like not super lighthearted. But unfortunately, there's been a verdict in the Canada sexual assault case that involves five Canadian oh ice hockey players who were accused of sexually assaulting a woman.

They have unfortunately all been acquitted by a judge in the case that's been closely watched in Canada. And apparently this was like a huge deal on everywhere across Canada, like on the news, Canadian TikTok, had. my Canadian mutuals reach out to me about it, just being absolutely heartbroken. we're hurting with y'all. This is absolutely terrible. They basically assaulted this woman in a hotel room where they had been attending a gala for the Hockey Canada like establishment or whatever.

they did not find apparently the evidence credible or reliable and Basically, the only consequences that the players are going to face is that they're like ineligible to play in the NHL pending a review. So some of them are definitely they're going to find loopholes for them to still be able to play for sure. The central issue So this is kind of the part I wanted to talk about, given our episode on consent.

The central issue of the trial was whether EM, who was 20, 2-0 at the time of the incident had consented to every sexual act in the hotel room that night. So apparently court heard that the woman had met the players at a barn later went back to the hotel room to have consensual sex with one of them. Other players, Mr. McLeed, Mr. McLeed or something. Other players then entered the room and engaged in further sexual acts with her. Once again, predatory behavior.

And once again, the burden of consent is always on the woman. Like, well, you didn't say no. You didn't say no to other men coming in the room and having sex with you. well, what do you mean? Like that should have been an enthusiastic yes. Like just because she consented to having sex with one person, that is crazy. She testified that she was intoxicated and felt fearful of the men. Like obviously five men enter your hotel room and are like, we're gonna have sex with you.

Like what recourse do you have there? Right? Other than like, unless we taught men to respect women saying no, or unless we, like, I don't know. Like why is it on women to ward off attacks from men who are literally acting like fucking animals? Like you can't call that any other. way. Like you can't call that, you gotta call a spade a spade. Like even animals, like animals feels like that's unfair to animals. Yeah, feels like it's unfair to animals, I guess. You It does, just... I real.

So they apparently took videos of this without her knowledge. And that's what they was being used to decide on the trial that was used as evidence in the trial. videos that. and still proving that they did what they did and they used that against her. a woman. Yeah. Yeah. the thing that pisses me off the most is the long-term emotional damage that this does to a woman. Especially when the guys walk. Like that's the part that just, and even if they don't walk, you still, that's still trauma.

Like you're never gonna, I ain't say you're never gonna get over it, but that's not anything you'll ever forget. And honestly, please be careful around men who are like in team sports. Like this is a tale as old as time, we've heard stories like this over and over again and how many of them don't get reported, you know, watch out for men who travel in packs also because they will give each other access to you like you're an object. They'll be like, well, I'm done. Who wants to go next?

And I hate to fucking sound like this heavy with it. It makes me sick. But this is something that we've seen. these are the patterns that we're seeing. We're seeing the patterns of men who run in packs, men who play on teams, know, men after like winning awards or being recognized at galas, like their ego gets, you know, huge. And it's to the point where they just want to like consume and destroy and like take advantage and just be. I don't know how to describe it.

Yeah, but if you're a woman listening to our podcast right now and something like this has happened to you or anything remotely similar, I just want to say I'm sorry and you deserved so much better. It was not your fault. this, yes, it's the men in the world that we live in. and we're just being set up in this lose lose scenario where men are like, well, if you're there, that means I can do stuff to you. Like if you're if you show up, like that's the consent part.

that we're not teaching men and then we have to pay for it. Exactly. because we cannot guarantee like we're still not teaching them. So it's like whatever's coming down from the top is like entitlement for men and nothing for women. Like not even the benefit of the doubt, not even like, if a woman says she was raped, like everybody has to decide on that. Like that's a public, do you know what I mean? Like what the, I don't know. It's just, yeah. the public has to decide if that sucks.

Completely discounting her experience. real quick, clip of Slim Thug where he was crashing out about a woman showing too much and he was really upset that... I guess I'm assuming he tried to shoot a shot and she said no and he did a video talking about women shouldn't be allowed to say no basically because of what you're wearing. Women need to understand there are a lot of men in the world who think that way. They're like, well you have on the outfit that's showing.

Yeah, they say it all the time. If you act like a hoe, I'mma treat you like a hoe. If you dress like a hoe, I'mma treat you like a So many men have that mindset and validate it. Absolutely. Absolutely. now Slim Thug said it like. So y'all have to be careful, you gotta know, it's men out there who think this way. please. when someone tells you who they are, believe them. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yes. doesn't, yeah. Yeah. And that's just unfortunately the mindset you're gonna have to have.

Yes. All right, well on that let's move on to our main segment, which is going to be all about pick me dating advice from other women. We've gone over bad dating advice for men with fleeksy and if you haven't heard that episode, make sure you check it out. And this is kind of the follow up to that because women give bad advice too. So let's dig into that after the break.

All right, welcome back y'all. We are going to discuss bad dating advice given by women. And in the spirit of feminism, we are not really gonna call anybody out directly because... We need to hold men accountable first and foremost. So on that episode we did with Fleeksie we did call out some men and I believe we were right for that. I actually only think we had time to get to one. The other one is in the crumpets segment. But I'm not a huge fan of calling women out by name.

And also because this advice will be, I wanna say this advice will be typically given to you by. like your aunt or something or like your mom or like well-meaning older women and it is pick me advice. Like we do need to call it what it is and we need to like know the rebuttals to it even if you don't plan on getting into an argument with your auntie at Thanksgiving, know, at least like let us validate you that it is bad dating advice and let us tell you why.

This is also like, I'm hoping that some of our episodes will be more like beginner friendly. I'm hoping that we'll have some episodes that people can like share with their friends that are kind of on the beginning stages of the conveyor belt of the journey, you know, where there's a lot that you haven't like dug into yet. So yeah, hopefully this will be an episode that you can share with your friends who are early on in this journey, the Decentering Men.

journey, decentering dating, decentering, you know, relationships for the sake of relationships. So, yeah, feel free to share this with someone. we do have other episodes that go deeper into like feminist, theory and stuff like that. But this one is meant to be just a lighthearted deconstruction of, that dating advice that people give you when you're like, I'm having trouble finding a man to date or whatever, like the dating world is really hard.

they start with things like men are intimidated by strong women. This is one that I'm sure a lot of us have heard. This one usually comes from like your grandma or your mom or some, you know, pick me on the Internet. And it's again, there's a lot of them and it's just unfortunate. A lot of Christian women say this kind of stuff, like religious women in general. It's like, well, you don't want to emasculate him with your strong, you know, with your career, with all your degrees.

That's so triggering. The whole emasculation usually marry women with degrees. Like usually well-educated men marry well-educated women. Like there's this like there's been this common like movie trope where like these you know well-educated men that are like affluent and rich and wealthy will marry like some waitress at a bar or like their favorite I guess uh made because like there was like what made in New York movie. Am I thinking of I might be thinking of something else.

Okay. Yes. And so like there's this yes okay that one yes so i did get the title right you made man that's the one thank you yes okay and so i just i want to dissect that a bit because it's like those types of men will don't know at first like they'll entertain you and they might play with you but i just need you to know like you're a plaything to them like they do not see you as an

intellectual equal first of all and therefore they do not see you as like a human equal to them because they usually nine times out of ten have this like ego about them that like, they went to Harvard, they went to somewhere that's like Ivy League, and so they will at some point or another hold that above you if you cannot keep

up with them intellectually and it's just it gets really annoying and like they've tried that shit on me before but then they learned that like I'm just as quick-witted as them so I mean you can't put them in their place but just know like nine times out of ten though when they're messing with you that they're they they are not taking you seriously they will not marry you I'm sorry but continue Sovereign you were gonna say.

yeah, I just hate when um men or older women or whoever use the whole, you're gonna emasculate him. I don't believe real masculinity can be emasculated. I don't, I just don't. Any man who tells you that he's being emasculated or it's his mom or his auntie, that man is not securing his manhood in my own personal opinion. There is just no way, cause how can you? those women exist everywhere. now you're just intimidated because one is like in your proximity, like you're close to you.

Yeah, which is ridiculous. it's... If I ever hear a man say anything like that, I just know what I'm dealing with and I'm gonna exit stage left. There's just no point. What the... It's such a turn off to you. your degrees. Yeah. your degrees is because they want a woman they can manipulate. They don't want you to have your own. They don't want you to be independent or have your own autonomy. And they'll tell you that by saying, you should stay home. definitely not an opinion.

if you have an opinion, you're masculine. You're too masculine. Mm-hmm. in facts like if you are a woman who votes typically Democrat and you are somehow with a man who's Republican as soon as you have a difference of political opinion it's it's a wrap like they will not even let you take an inch to go a mile like they will cut you off they will raise their voice they will just do everything in their power to like shut you down Mm-hmm.

Yeah, or they're emasculated by women having opinions that they can like back up with facts because they think that men are the only ones who have opinions like that. And so when you start doing it, they literally will just like a toddler, like close, like close their ears and just be like, la la la la. Like, I don't hear they're cutting you off. They're like acting like a freaking troll under a bridge.

Like you have to answer riddles and like no statistics like What the hell in order to be like, yeah, seriously. Yeah, they're just having a freaking debate with themselves. Yeah. Please don't listen to anyone who tells you to give a man a chance, even though you're not attracted to them. Nothing grinds my gears more than hearing either a man, especially a woman, saying, give him a chance.

I understand why men say it, but a woman telling you, they're implying that you settle, and that attraction most likely will never come. Are there exceptions to the rule? Of course there's always exceptions to the rule. But nine times out of ten, if you don't have that initial attraction or what I like to call the thunderbolt, it's just not, you're just settling at that point for a man that you're not attracted to.

And I always tell people, like, I could never deal with the man that I'm not attracted to because... not to sound too vulgar, we're just gonna end up in a sexless relationship. And is that fair to that man that he has a woman that doesn't want him to touch her? Cuz I'm not attracted to him. Give him a chance, but I'm not attracted to him. There's nothing there. That's, yeah, absolutely. It's like, you don't need to be sexually attracted to him.

But then on the other side of the coin, it's like, well, men are visual. So if you gain weight, da da da. And they're going to tell you that about a man who is like 10 times uglier than you, that you gave a chance and they will hold like what the fuck? Where is the logic like that shit? I can't. I literally can't. on top of that when those men dog you out or treat you like trash, guess what they're gonna say? You shouldn't have gave them a chance in the first place. You should have chose better.

Yeah. So it's a lose-lose. Don't set yourself up for that. If you're not attracted to that man, it's okay. You don't have to be attracted. Like, my God. and it has nothing to do with like looks per se, you know what I mean? Like we're not saying like there's like some kind of cutoff or whatever. It's just that like you have to be attracted. Whatever it is has to make you attracted. Yes, there has to be that spark. There has to be that drawing.

And I'm not even saying like you have to orient your. your attraction as a woman on physicality, you can orient it on intellectual, right? Like there can be intellectual attraction, like whatever it is though that gets you going sexually has to be there, right? For some people it's not appearance and I get that. know, like women can like divorce that, whatever. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Or it's just like uh ambition or something you're attracted to like ambition. That's totally fine.

but that something has to be there. It has to. Otherwise it's not gonna work. nothing breaks my heart more than like seeing a baddie with a man that looks like he bargained his way onto this planet like he just looks like so homonculus and like troglodyte like almost like a troglodyte just knuckle dragging huh dating a mouth breather stop. I'm guilty of that because people are like, you're too pretty for him. I've been told that for just about all my relationships.

But here's the thing, I like what I like about this person. And I'm telling women, it is okay for you. to like what you like about that person. It doesn't matter what anybody else think. It doesn't matter if people think you're too pretty or you're too tall for that, whatever. Well, the tall thing, yeah. I'm not playing with the height shit. I ain't making no exceptions for the height shit. yeah, so women, ladies, just go after what you like. Who cares what anyone thinks? It is okay.

Don't let nobody guilt you. wife to get like breast implants when they don't like how her boobs look like seriously get audacious. This is crazy. And again, we're not I just want to make it clear that dating advice that actually works going to be very effective at weeding people out. Yes. gonna be, so you know what I mean? When you hear dating advice that is gonna bring all the boys to your yard, that's bad dating advice. You're gonna get, as Sovereign would say, dogged out.

Like you're gonna say, you're gonna get, yeah, dog walked because this is, you're opening the gates too wide and it needs to be, a very narrow pool, yeah, that you're actually choosing from. my God, that's so true.

if the advice is just to find a man, you'll find a man, but you won't find a partner, you won't find an equal, you won't find somebody who really sees you as a human being, so I mean just choose your standards wisely. Cause you can, everybody has standards, but I guess some women have more standards than others is what I've been gathering from listening to these dating coaches. Cause oof, oof, but I digress. We'll continue. yeah. and watch out.

Yeah, watch out for the dating coaches, because again, their goal is to make money or attract an audience. And so they're going to give advice that's going to work. Right. It's going to work as long as you lower your standards, as long as you devalue yourself, as long as you lay yourself out like a little mat, you know, for a man. But then you'll be there in the comments saying, well, she helped me find a man. And it's like, well, yeah, but What kind of man?

You'll be the one paying $10,000 to a uh dating coach to find a man who, from what I'm understanding, is a dusty. Now, I don't know how true that is, but that's what everybody was saying. That girl paid $10,000 and her husband is just like, for the streets. I don't, I don't know. Or fiance. But yeah, you're right, Lisa. It works. you should have went on a freaking Euro trip. Like, you should have freaking $10,000. Go shopping, girl. Like, yeah, you could get another degree.

Like, what do you mean? yeah, that's on decentering men though, seriously. Wasted, for sure, yes. when it comes to standards though, you should have non-negotiables. You should have deal breakers that you don't waiver from. That is so important. And you know what, like, pick me women will say, though? They'll be like, no, you can't be too picky or you'll end up alone. OK. Like, that's why again, that's why we like decenter men. You know what I mean?

Because that's not the worst thing that could happen to a woman. The worst thing that could happen to a woman is usually a man is usually a man. Like, why are we not talking about this? It's almost always a man like. most dangerous person a woman ever meets in her life is her husband, is her mate, her matching partner. it just, yes. forbid you end up alone. God forbid. my gosh. You will live longer ladies. You do not need to open up your presence to just whichever man, right?

That's on having standards and on knowing that most men, the bar for them of having any standards is gonna seem impossible. They're gonna just try to walk right under it. But it's like, no, you gotta get up over the bar buddy. You gotta actually do it. you know, and be earnest with it. But just like most men are not trained to live like that, you know, sacrificially or selflessly. They're taught, they're socialized to be extremely selfish and only be in situations where they're being served.

So if you don't start your mindset when you're dating with that and then you vet for signs of that, signs of selfishness, signs of like... you never going out of their way for anybody signs of, you know, that kind of stuff. Like you're already starting in the wrong place. You're already going to be making excuses. Right. Oh, well, he didn't do that because I didn't let him lead. I was nagging him. well, he didn't do that because he he I don't even know.

I don't even know where these excuses are that people come up with, like what they are. But there are excuses. And it's crazy. men are wired differently. That was another one I wrote down. Men are wired differently. Of what? They're socialized differently. You know what I mean? Yes, in some ways we can talk about hormonal stuff, but I'm saying in day to day how you treat a person, how you interact with a person, most men will not ask you questions about yourself.

They will not sit there and keep up a conversation. So it's exhausting dealing with them. the auditioning for a man, that's another thing that these dating coaches will give you. You need to know how to cook and clean and do all these things for your man. that it's like you're auditioning and most men, a lot of men have multiple women in rotation. So if you're doing that, you're literally competing and auditioning to be a servant. That's literally it.

And that's bad advice to be, because a woman should be competing with herself and trying to figure out how much of a better woman you can be and how much stronger you can become and how much more resilient you can be and things of that nature. That's what you should be doing. your peace. The life you can give yourself. Like, you can't... Most of them will make your life worse and expect you to serve them.

I just think like ending up alone is like not as much of a threat as I think it is and more and more women are catching on to that because the stats have like, you know, been public information for a long time. Like the most dangerous person that a woman can have in her life is her husband or is her living partner. And or even if, you know, she's pregnant, the most dangerous person to her is the baby's father.

so, you ending up alone is just not like it's not the threat that men think it is anymore. And like more and more women and actually like the happiest. women that I've ever seen in my life are older women who are divorced or who are, um you know, their husband is no longer with them and they've inherited, the assets and they've just been living by themselves and they seem so happy and like so the light is in them. They are, you know why?

And they choose, I know, because they choose not to get married again. Some of them never date again and they have the opportunity to do it and they choose not to. So that's very telling. also that single and child free women are happier than married women with children. ladies, it's really not the worst thing that can happen. I understand that some women are like, you know, raising kids is hard, but I still want to do it. Like that's something I feel, you know, that I want to do with my life.

You should never depend on a man for that anyway. You know, a man could always get hit by a bus. you know, your child's father, even if he was the perfect, father and everything like that, there's still that chance. And so you just have to, it's almost like you both kind of have to plan on that. Like if men were decent, then that would be the case. But unfortunately, once again, we pay for their crimes. So you just have to be prepared to be a single mother regardless, even if you're married.

you know, in a relationship, divorce, whatever, always have the kid for yourself and always expect to do whatever you need to do. Cause that's, that's how it goes. So the next one, well, there's so many good ones. Okay. So there's the, whole, you have to let a man lead. And this one is just so hilarious to me.

This is a common one in like churches, but it's also become very common in like woo woo masculine divine masculine divine feminine spaces where they're like yeah but in order for him to be in his masculine you have to be in your feminine and you have to let him lead you know let him make mistakes while you kind of take a back seat and just you know because once again it comes back to you don't want to emasculate him but how does that usually turn out for women like What that even mean?

Let him lead, being your feminine, what the hell does that even mean? Because that's exactly where they're gonna lead you. those women who were posting those TikToks during the California wildfires and they were urging their husbands. So like, need to leave, we need to leave. And they were like, it's not that bad. And they were just like very underreacting to the situation. And I just think about that advice and apply it to, you know, what we've seen when we let men lead.

And it's just, it's always off a cliff. Like they will just, yeah, no, they have no survival instincts, Lisa, remember that video that Melanie Hemlett, shout out to you Melanie, uh did about how women blindly trust and follow their husbands that do like dangerous sports and dangerous activities and put their, yeah, she, yeah, I remember. I remember when I first watched that video and I was like, I never thought about that, but women, we do that.

We will just be like, okay, well, he says it's safe. So, you know, I guess we'll just go ahead and that's where they're gonna lead you. Like literally off a cliff or to the clinic or to somebody's therapy couch because you're so traumatized by their drama or to the hospital. yeah. it was like really high and then she like passed out and he just kept going like. I think he was trying to kill her, honestly.

Right, well then you have to assume these kinds of things at some point, like- he knew from what we understand, he knew that she had a fear of heights and all that stuff. If we're talking about the same video. was like she has a condition that like she can't be on high altitudes. Yeah, okay, something like that. And he knew. Nah. yeah, and he knew and like. wanted something to happen to her. Very. They know. They literally know. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, or they'll be like, you know, let me manage the money and then next thing, you know, there's a new truck in the driveway. There's you know, he's got all his all this stuff. Yep. Yep. hasn't been paying the mortgage. Shit like that. I've had, I've seen this happen close to home. Yeah, exactly. Seeing this happen close to home sucks. let Kendrick, whatever the hell his name was, her ex-husband manage her finances.

And then when it was all said and done, she had to pay him a ridiculous amount of money in spousal support after they got divorced. I don't know if she's still paying it. I think it was for a certain amount of time. But yeah, that's what happens when you let men lead. You end up screwed up at the end of the day. And any man who actually cares about you, I don't necessarily think he would ever want to put you in that position where you don't have safety nets. Do you know what I'm saying?

Just depend on me. You don't need another bank account. Like why would he do that if he cared about you? Knowing that he can just die tomorrow or anything can happen, he can end up disabled. Any man who cares about you would never want you to be without a Plan B. Like come on. Mm-mm. Only the ones that want to control you. And also, on that same topic, it's like a decent man is looking for partnership.

He's not looking for somebody to dominate by leading them and having the final say and everything like that. uh A normal, well-adjusted man will be like, two heads put together is better than one. Let's put our thinking together. What do we need? What should we do? He is asking the questions. Yeah, yes. what your husband said, that's dumb. You have a brain too. We can work together. Remember when he was like, this is so dumb.

uh A man, there's two of us and only one of us should be using our brains. How stupid is that? Right, but most men have an ego big enough that that just lands like infertile soil, you know what I mean? And just grows into a fucked up tree. it's crazy because the fruit that that tree bears is terrible. And it's like, we're not catching on to this. It's like, look at all the men that are in power all over the world. How are they doing? We're letting them lead us. How is that going?

Right, then look at the countries that women manage. How's that going? You know what I mean? I'm not saying there aren't corrupt women. I'm not saying like, you know, obviously we're still working in the patriarchy, but it's extremely rare. Right. It's actually, so the women who lead these countries rank the highest on the HDI, the Human Development Index. So these countries, where is it? Is it Denmark?

Or it's these, these Netherlands countries of their, they have like women in leadership and they actually rank higher than us on the HDI Human Development Index, where it ranks, you know, total development in an economy. So that never ceases to amaze me because like, wow, you know, I mean, anyways, the data supports that. on mass. We have empathy. That's the number one ingredient.

And exactly, and that's what leads a man to like, think that he can be, you know, this leader and like, make all these decisions. And it's like, you're making those decisions without empathy. Like oftentimes, they literally will be like, no, we don't need to bring that. And it's like, the kids like snacks for the kids or something. we don't need to bring that. And it's a diaper bag. Like you have no empathy. Like literally, your child is going to get hungry.

Your child is going to be get diaper rash and you don't. no a good leader basically makes things so efficient like but that's not efficient that's gonna slow you down and that's the other thing is they're like yeah travel light. Yes, exactly. It's not efficient. It's just short-sighted period. Look at our economy. Look at everything right?

Like it's all the proof is all over the place and it's like all of these things that have happened, like, you know, with Trump's economic policies, they looked good on paper in the short term, but then we have data that supports that in the long term, some of these policies would not have worked out in our favor. And I won't go into specifics because I don't want to turn this into like a political discussion, but it's just, the proof is in the pudding.

And one need only look at history during the Spookhawley tear facts. I will just leave y'all with that tidbit and back to Oh my god Matter of time. Yes. it's just like also why women I need to ask you all this like why would you want to be with a man who thinks he is inherently superior to you in as far as like intelligence I honestly when it comes to the things that I I passionate about. I've never met a man smarter than me in the topics that I'd really like to discuss.

it's just, and they, they just have the audacity. A lot of men just have the audacity. Like And it plays on these old princess treatment tropes, and that's another thing we're gonna jump to discussing here. it works really well combined with all the other brainwash, the princess films, the rom-coms, where it's like all works out in the end, but you don't see what happens after. the couple finally, you know, overcomes everything and like gets back together.

You don't see it because they know that logically speaking, it will have conflict because the way that y'all got together was bad. it was just, you it's like, oh, somebody found you in a castle and then was like, yes, I'll marry this one. Like that's weird, you know, like fairy tales or whatever, or somebody, you know, you went back to your small town, a small hometown.

And some man was like, I know what you need. You you don't need your big city job. You don't need that. You just need to like come to my farm and like meet my chickens and like, you know, become a trad wife. And it's like, but a lot of women, this, I learned this from like reading about the history of feminism in Russia.

is that most of the time, feminism, boss, girl, feminism backfires on women to the point where if they do want to have a family or if they do want to have kids, they're both doing all the working and all the child rearing. And you don't just have to be like not lazy for that. You have to be ready to work your literal ass off or make enough money that you can hire the help out. And not a lot of women can do that.

So the better deal seems to be, well, the man should do the work, you know what I mean? It's like a way of like splitting the duties, but you don't realize that you're not actually doing that, you're just getting taken advantage of. And this is why the pendulum of feminism just keeps swinging back and forth between boss babe and princess treatment. And it's just like, well, because we can't win because the men are not stepping up and it's not, the burden always falls on us.

It's like, don't emasculate him, but also what do you bring to the table? You know, uh he won't buy the cow if he can get the milk for free. But if you don't do it, another woman will. It's like, well, which is it? You know, give him a chance. But then you should have picked better. Like the advice doesn't even make sense. Like even as we're going through it, it's all like contradictory because the point is women are just not supposed to win. Women are not supposed to.

Like it's all our responsibility at the end of the day. Yes, our own happiness is a societal expectation. They expect us to be unhappy with whatever choice we choose and to just like grin and bear it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And it's because they view going to work as a duty. it's like, how are you going to say you're a provider? You know what I mean? Like you everybody has to work like even the woman that you're like telling her it's her duty. That's she has to work.

That's what you're telling her. So how are you going to hold that over? Women's head like when you're the provider or whatever and like a lot of women that will be another thing that they'll say like Well, if he's a provider then you should like whatever no fuck that if he controls your money. He controls you give a man the power to feed you and you're giving him the power to starve you. Yep. about this one? Be his piece. Hold him down. I find that anytime someone demands something like that...

Wait, what'd she say? she said, I said hold him down and she said underwater. exactly. That's perfect. I find that whenever men ask for stuff like that, it's because they don't have any within themselves. Yeah, you're typically not going to ask for something that you already have within yourself. So when you ask a woman to be my, I need you to be my piece, he doesn't have any piece. As a matter of fact, he's just going to do nothing but bring you chaos. Yeah, literally.

You know, another thing, another piece of bad advice is don't scare a man away too soon in the beginning with certain things. You shouldn't tell him everything upfront or the most important things, for an example. I remember some years ago, I was telling guys, I was telling my family members and friends that I was telling the guys that I'm child free. I don't want kids. You're not supposed to tell him that. I'm like, why not? You're gonna scare him away. That's the point.

I don't wanna date a man who wants children, who's gonna be looking at me like I'm gonna be his future baby mama or future wife or whatever. I would much rather get to the point now and you need to know, I'm gonna tell you all the things that may scare you away. That's literally the point. be such crabs in a bucket with that stuff because they were saying that stuff because they expect you to change your mind. Like they think your woman like uterus, you know, hormones are gonna like take over.

Yeah. And you just won't be able to do anything about it. And like you might as well not tell him because you're going to change your mind anyway. And if you really love a man, of course you'll give him a child and all this stuff like that. No, if a man really loves me, he'd never ask me to do that. Absolutely. Facts.

I should want to do it like that goes back to consent, you know, like I've I've mentioned that so many times this episode because it's all relevant everything in our society ties back to we don't let women have consent Which is fucking crazy. We take it away from them whichever way we can especially when it comes to like dating advice and and shit like that because then the other thing is Every man cheats Wrong.

And it's like, listen, there is an angle to take that advice from that's valid, right? Like you can kind of assume that like, because most men when asked, you know, the anonymous question of if you could cheat and there was a guarantee that your partner didn't find out, like guaranteed, like they never find out. A lot of them will self-reportedly will say yes. They don't even pretend on these surveys, you know what I mean?

They and I think more of them, if they were being honest, would probably say yes. When they don't think that there's going to be consequences, like that is a thing. But I hate the way that that's applied to women because when whenever some people say to you, every man cheats, what they mean. So you might as is. So you might as well stay with him. They mean every man cheats is just the ones that respect you won't rub it in your face. Shit like that. And it's just like. Yeah, that's, yeah.

But it's just, and also they try to use that as like a way to beat you in a submission because it's just like, well, if you cheated on you, what were you doing wrong? You must've been doing something wrong to deserve it. Like you, maybe you didn't give them enough, you didn't give them enough attention. You didn't, even though you just had a baby and maybe you're like six weeks postpartum and he goes and cheats on you, they're gonna tell you like, well, what were you expecting?

You weren't, you know, giving him a blow job. Cause like, just because one hole closes, doesn't another one ain't open. Like they will, they will say that. Yeah. The other women... Yeah, and then to go back to when you were saying that a lot of women tell me not to tell a man that I don't want kids in the beginning because they expect me to change my mind. But it also goes to show that women are expected to and usually do give up what they want in life for a man.

And so they expect you to give it up. So it's more than just, I expect you to change your mind about. having kids, could be giving up your career, dropping out of law school or whatever for a man because he wants a family or he wants you to quit your job and stay home or he wants to move across town. A lot of women are, I guess, programmed or whatever to give. up what they want for a man and they expect all the women around them to do the same thing. And I am so against that.

Like I can't think of anything worse in life than to deal with a bunch of women who all think that it's okay to just give up everything and be at the mercy of a man. It's just ridiculous. Like why don't you have, it's like, don't you have any... Don't you care about your own life and your own future and what you want out of life? Like how are y'all out here putting that into the hands of a man so easily? I don't understand that. is involved for that to happen.

I would also say too that like women know that if they work and the man works at the same time, like they're gonna have to compromise on a lot of things like cleanliness standards, like cooking dinner, stuff like that, you know what I mean? Because men won't contribute to that after work. And so it's very easy for you to say, well, okay, what if I what if I do like this kind of labor and then you work? Because it's like you have to remember it's not just like, pure laziness.

is it's trying women trying to in good faith barter with men. And I just think that we've seen that that doesn't work. Like men are not here to be bartered with or like make deals with because they don't make those deals in good faith because they're very, very selfish. you know, it's not really about a lot of, you know, for a lot of women, it's not really about like well, I just don't want to get a job.

It's more like, well, there's all this stuff to do around the house or with the kids that you're not gonna step up and help me. Like for both people to be working, do you have to have a man who's good at logistics, who's not one of these fucking Instacart shoppers, you know, that's like, boy, I couldn't find it. he has to call you like every five seconds, like from the store, you know what I You need a competent man. And so many women can't find that.

So they're like, okay, what if I exchange my competence and my labor in order for you to just go to your dummy ass job and bring home the 60K or whatever. And like, I'll just deal with that. I'll just take that and I will cook, I'll clean, I'll do all this other labor, because I wanna have a certain standard of life. But it's just such a bad deal. It's such a terrible deal.

me personally, I know a lot of women who want to stay home and have the man work so that they can brag that I don't have to work. Yep, princess treatment. yeah, I don't have to work. And to me, that's laziness. And almost all of them end up finding out the hard way once that man decides to do whatever he's gonna do. It's like now you don't have anything to show for all your hard work around the house for 15 years or whatever, because that man will just up and leave you.

that's the part where I think is, they don't value shit. You're supposed to do that in their mind. This is your duty. you know, dying alone in their apartment surrounded by cans of soup and their tidy whities as Shira would say, but uh yeah, not until then. of soup and dirty white. Oh my God. But that's the only reason why, I mean, what do y'all think? And you know, the audience.

That's the only reason why I call it laziness is because a lot of them do it for the sole purposes of wanting to flex on other women. Like, see, I don't have to work. I don't have to do it. And it's like, of course you're gonna find out the hard way. It's only a matter of time before you, it's a canon event. Yeah. narrative. Like look at how highly a man values me. It's like he's a prince and he whisked me away to his castle. And now it's like, babe, it's, yeah.

that, I'm like, girl, you have no idea what's most likely in store for you. You have no idea. And I always feel bad. These women have to start from ground zero after the relationship is over. And it's just like... I only feel bad for women under 25 that have fallen into that trap because women after 25, your prefrontal cortex has fully been formed. all of your critical thinking skills, facilities have, yes.

And to a point, it is exhausting participating in this hellscape of an economy that we have, but at the same time, we are some of the first in our generation to be able to have these opportunities to live alone, to... choosing oppression. And they're choosing oppression. They're choosing oppression. men do not gate keep things from us that would been or you know, that wouldn't that are not beneficial. Let's just say that. Yeah. they're packaging it now.

It's all, you don't have to work, just stay home. And it is like, no, it's gonna backfire. That's the thing. It's going to backfire. truly beneficial for women, there'd be way more men against marriage. And in fact, they'd probably be lobbying right now in Congress to just absolutely abolish marriage, the institution of marriage. agree. Instead, they're trying to abolish divorce. So we're in danger. Yeah. Okay, let's see if we have any left on the list.

actually, My favorite piece of, you know, pick me advice is that it's not all men. It's just the loser men. It's just the dogs. It's just this certain, yeah, it's boys. Yeah, they're not real men. That, that, that trope right there, that trap. Cause it's just like, okay, well then who's doing all the killing? Cause is it Casper? I need to know. yes. Yes. Are there hologram men walking around that I can just like put my arm through?

Like, no, they're all very real and they present a viscerally real danger to us. Like you have to remember, like, don't fall for that like real man narrative, like whatever. All men are men. That's the thing. Like they're at the end of the day. Yeah, they were socialized. Yeah. Yeah. men at the end of the day. It does not matter.

over the age of 23 to 25 that is a grown man capable of thinking for himself and wiping his own ass and Don't let these you know, me women just give you this, you know false You know dichotomy of like men versus like non-masculine men or like men versus boys or men versus dogs You're like men versus unevolved troglodytes like there is no difference, especially whenever this is it's still a man It's still men.

It's all men until you know, I guess learning our, you know, we can go through this like vetting strategy process a little bit better. It's all good. It's going to be, you know, up to us anyways to be able to categorize this for ourselves and yep. think the biggest takeaway is that a lot of, understand that a lot of women date with the hopes of being chosen instead of being the person choosing.

that is what, yeah, but that is where a lot of women get, that's the pick me shit that I be talking about. Don't tell him what you really want. Don't tell him what you don't want. No, don't tell him too many. details about yourself because you're hoping that he picks you. You're hoping to be chosen. And anytime you approach dating as a woman, from that point of view, you're almost always going to lose because you're dancing.

You're the one jumping around in circles trying to win the approval of a man. And like I said, most men got multiple women on rotation and you're sitting there auditioning and it's like, no, you need to be approaching it from a point of

I'm choosing you. I'm telling you, I'm laying the cards out. You came up to me nine times out of 10. The man approached you at the gas station or at Walmart or at a friend's party. He came up to you. You are the one. Exactly. This is your choice. You came up to me. What do you want from me, sir? That whole, what do you bring to the table? Nonsense. We don't bring shit to the table. You came up to me. Absolutely.

So. remember the female birds, you know, if you ever need a reminder, look up male bird, you know, whatever doing mating dance around a female bird, the female bird. They never look fancy like they're always just like this gray little brown little, you know, shy little thing. But when the you know, when the the. The male birds are out there doing their thing and they're like flapping their feathers and they're showing their, you know, songs and their little dance.

Like you were saying, they're jumping around, they're performing, they're doing all that. The female bird is just sitting there completely unimpressed. Show me what you got. Annoyed, in fact. Yes, yes. And that's how you need to position yourself. Learn. cannot believe. we have to learn from humans, have to learn from animals? women get called birds as an insult. It's like, let's reclaim that a little bit. You know what I mean?

Let's kind of, let's... the female penguins have to sit, well, they don't have to sit there, they get presented a pebble by the male penguin. The male penguin chooses a shiny rock and it in front of, yeah, and they mate for life. they're also involved parents, like penguin dads are, they do most of the parenting. The wife or the, sorry, the penguin wife, she just has to birth them, you know what I mean? And then it's mostly the, yeah, the male penguins are doing all the rest of the work.

So it's like, do never work yourself to the bone for a man, never do that. That's like, you know, if they want to act like closer to animals than we should too. You know what I mean? Just unimpressed, un-fucking-bothered, and like mostly rejecting. That's it. That's how females are in nature. Yes, I think it's so sad that all the female animals out there know that they're the prize at the end of the day. And we still haven't figured it out.

our anatomy will also tell you the egg, the egg do not swim to the sperm, the sperm swim to the egg and the egg chooses the sperm. So we actually did just now, you know, within the last 10 years learned that it's not the first sperm that gets the egg that gets fertilized. The egg chooses which of the sperm that had made it to pick the winner. just remember that ladies, like literally nature's been trying to tell us all along.

So please be safe out there, be choosy, be picky, be unapologetic, be selfish. Be a lot more selfish than you think is acceptable. Like, because you will still never be as selfish as a man. And on that note, we gotta wrap it up and we'll be right back with our Her Story segment all about Catherine the Great. Woo!

Welcome back and we are ready to dig into some her story. did some good research on this so we're gonna let her take the lead on this segment Gwen please uh take the stage. Alright, so Catherine the Great. was born a Princess Sophie of Anhalt-Zerps in Prussia on May 2, 1729. Catherine was originally German, not Russian, and was renamed Ekaterina Alexvina. Girl, I'm not Russian, I cannot pronounce it. Ekaterina Alekseyevna Romanova. Thank you.

So upon converting to orthodoxy after arriving in Russia, so married Peter the third in 1745, which was a union that proved to be severely unhappy. Peter was considered mentally unstable and deeply unpopular in Russia while Catherine pursued intellectual growth and formed political alliances. And that's like what she kind of like noticed that and was like, dude, this dude sucks. Like he's just screwing it up.

Like, and she basically, right, because people were letting him lead them off a cliff as per usual. So in July 1762, she overthrew her husband in a coup with the support of Grigory Orlov and the Imperial Guard, leading to Peter's abdication and subsequent death. Catherine was crowned Empress on September the 22nd, 1762. Arise, my queen. Ruled as Empress of Russia. from 1762 to 1796, becoming Russia's longest reigning female monarch and one of its most influential rulers.

so she led this enlightenment movement. So she authored the Nakaas, a legal instruction inspired by Montesquieu and Becquaria, which promoted legal equality and discouraged torture and the death penalty. Although ambitious, it had limited real implementation. She was also the one most responsible for westernizing and modernizing Russia, founding many cities, theaters, universities, and inviting European immigration, fully integrating Russia into European cultural and political life.

so immigration is actually good for a country. Interesting. Interesting how that works. It's interesting how it helps you create culture. Interesting how she immigrated from a different country and was like, where are all your y'alls like theaters and cultural like, you know, hubs? Like, what do you guys do for fun? And it's like, yeah, this is exactly why we don't want to keep people out of our country.

Like you get lost in your own sauce, you create an echo chamber where like nothing is, you know, fun. I don't know. And actually there's a concept or like a theory in developmental economics. oh When immigrants come to another country, they bring with them their ways of life, their ways of doing things. And oftentimes they're often better than current modern ways of doing life.

And so over time, those ways get adopted and those become the new mainstream thing, which ultimately happened in America. So without our immigrants, we really would not be where we are because these immigrants brought with them You know, there are new ways of farming. So like their farming techniques and their new ways of, yeah, just, just things like that, that keep us, you know, beautiful. All the things that made us America, but I digress. Moving on.

um Expanded the Russian empire significantly. So she annexed Crimea, participated in the partitions of Poland, colonized Alaska and established control over new Russia and the Black Sea coast. And then she founded the Smolny Institute, the first state sponsored educational institution for women in Europe and the Novodvice Institute for Daughters of Commoners promoting female education.

Yeah, and this is kind of like why the Russian, like people don't understand how far back Russian feminist history goes, but it really goes back far. And like, obviously as a Ukrainian woman, I have a huge issue with her annexing Crimea and all that. like, because I mean, that obviously set a precedent that is now being exploited. But it's also like This is what like sets up the pendulum to swing in a different direction.

Like anytime basically women come along and like make a bunch of changes and like make things really progressive and stuff like that. It's not just the men that complain about it and want to go back to, you know, like the way that things were. Unfortunately, a lot of women were also like kind of against this stuff and like started, you know, movements to sort of discredit Catherine and like, yeah. I will never understand. Mm-mm. Mm-hmm.

so one of the last ones up here, it says, she suppressed major internal uprising. So most notably, Pukachev's Rebellion from 1773 to 1775, in which a Cossack claimed to be her dead husband, Peter III. Catherine ultimately prevailed and quelled the revolt. This man just said, this is like, I'm actually alive. Those are my people, the caustics.

uh And oh wait here it says she was a patient of the arts and culture Catherine built one of the world's greatest art collections forming the basis of today's Hermitage Museum and corresponded with leading enlightenment figures like Voltaire Voltaire was like a cool philosopher back then What did he popularize?

I forget he he said quite a few things on like, you know equality that were controversial at the time But I don't have those notes with me right now, unfortunately But actually, you know what? If you are a Voltaire fan in the comments on YouTube, help me fill in those blanks. Thanks. thank you so much, y'all. We know you will. It's actually like just say something wrong about him and people will come running to the comments.

But yeah, she was uh she was very it's kind of like a very direct, um you know, when people say like, people won't take women seriously as like rulers or whatever. It's like, no, people took her pretty fucking seriously. She like expanded the Russian empire by quite a bit. Once again, like my people's expense, which sucks. But it's kind of like women can do everything that men can and not just that, like not even in the year 20, 25. You know what I mean?

In the year freaking 1600, whatever like they have always been just as well respected on the world stage, like as long as they can do the same shit as men like and which they can. It's like and they could do it better because like not only was she annexing stuff and like was kind of a war oriented or whatever, but she also was like culture oriented. Like she was very multifaceted.

She was a complex character rather than just like, you know, some war hungry like man that is like most of them who are in charge. And like they usually ruin everything. And like when you talk about Peter or whatever, it's like this man was literally king. Like he had all the power in the world to do anything about everything. and he was just sitting there, a leader, a leader.

Like, oh my God. Yeah, well, and also like for those listening and if you find History, even boring, there's actually a TV show called The Great on Hulu that talks about Catherine the Great. And there were some things that it got right and some things that got wrong. So I just, still think it's worth a watch to anyone out there that is interested in history or her story. Yeah, they take some liberties with it, but um yeah.

And also just to let y'all know that women can act exactly the same as men. Catherine was very welcoming of many lovers and she would like give them perks and stuff like that. You'll see some of that in the show, I think.

um But yeah, she was having like all sorts of affairs and like her sexual independence led to led to many of the legends about her that were like, I don't know, basically trying to paint her as like a 304 whatever yeah her majesty had a her majesty had a masculine force of mind obstinacy and adhering to a plan and Intradipity in the execution of it But she wants the more manly

virtues of deliberation forbearance and prosperity and accuracy of judgment while she possesses in a high degree the the weaknesses vulgarly attributed to her sex love of flattery and its inseparable companion vanity and inattention to unpleasant but salutary advice, a propensity to voluptuousness which leads to excesses that would debase a female character in any sphere of life.

So they were trying to slut shame her and they were trying to say like, she shouldn't be taken seriously for doing the things that men do like, oh okay so since when should we take y'all seriously? Under legacy, says, Catherine is often seen as a woman who ruled like a man, but really she ruled better than most men. And then it says, she's an icon of female ambition, political skill, and unapologetic leadership. So there's that. That's why people took her seriously. Mm-hmm. Exactly.

not a dummy, she very much prioritized her education and the education of other women. Mm-hmm. Yep, absolutely. Let me see if there's any other juicy stuff in here that I miss. There's so much juicy stuff, because she's like, she's like through and through very much a complex, you know, imperfect, some might even say unlikable woman. And, you know, that's why we have that quote. Well-behaved women rarely make history.

But it's like that she did because she wasn't a well-behaved woman and because she had the motherfucking audacity. She said, you're fucking it up. Like, let me step in. Like she did what women always have to do basically is like clean up men's mess. And then she got shit on for doing that. So yeah, tale is old this time. Absolutely. It's a thankless job. have women coming in and showing other women that we can do it better. That threatens them. They are so threatened.

Which is why this has nothing to do with anything. But that's number one reason why men hate Megan Thee Stallion. You know what mean? They hate that women can have influence. That's what they're mostly afraid of. 100%. She is such a perfect example of that. And like, she is very likable. That's the other thing is that she's very likable, but men will go out of their way to like, make her seem like such an unlikable and like, yes, they do that to Beyonce too, out of jail. Yeah, absolutely.

I remember when that whole controversy came out with like the Bigfoot thing between Nicki Minaj and Megan Thee Stallion and it was, it I know it's so sad because it's like, man, isn't your husband like a pedophile, like a known pedophile, like on the registry? you're a pick me, right?

Like that literally the most perfect example to kind of go back to our main segment is like, that's what's going to happen when you're a pick me instead of being Catherine the Great with many lovers, with many conquests, you know, with like all the culture that she brought with everything. you're just gonna be like Nicki Minaj, who literally is like sitting on the embers, like the ashes of a career that she could have had, you know what I mean?

And instead she's can't, her husband can't live, you know what I mean, six miles away from a fucking school or whatever. And not only that, it was the doubling down of her husband and her, I think her father or brother, somebody in her brother. That's what really made it really bad, because it's like now you're going to bat for people that's been convicted. Yeah. It's such a shame what she's done to her legacy. She's going out pretty sad and I hate to see it.

to think about your legacy, especially if you worked hard like she had to work so hard. That's what pisses me off. And like she knows that like it was men that were some of her biggest ops in the industry. And she, you know, like I know that little Wayne kind of had her like under his wing proverbially. And that's probably what, you know, it muddies the waters a little bit, because I do think that she was kind of more easily embraced into that community.

But I still think that like men, um men prayed on her downfall and they didn't even have to pray that hard. Like she just went out there and married a pedophile. Like, well, you can't make this shit up. Like it's absolutely crazy. I never fucked Wayne, I never fucked Drake, but you'll fuck a pedophile. But you'll fuck a man who so... crazy? Anyways, do not be a Nicki Minaj, be a Catherine the Great. Like ladies, we want you to be great, we want you to be audacious.

Definitely not at the expense of other people or anything like that, but hey, you know what I mean? Like I will look the other way if you gotta do that, that's fine. I am done holding women accountable before we've ever held a single man accountable. Let's start there. This is why we were not naming names in this episode. Let's get back to the basics. Women and women only. Let's go.

All right, well, let's read our poll results and um we will make sure we put up a poll for the next movie we watch. All right, so we had a poll from our episode with fleeksy. What is the most toxic dating advice women hear from male dating coaches in quotations? the A was lower your standards and be more understanding of men's flaws. Basically tolerate mediocrity and red flags. The next one was be feminine and let him lead so he feels like a man. Like all of this advice is kind of the same.

um Translation, dim yourself down to boost his ego. Don't overthink it, give every man a chance. Translation, waste your time on men you know are trash. Or your energy and vibe will manifest the right man. Translation, ignore reality. It's your fault if men are bad. All right, so what's the most toxic one out of that one?

just shrinking yourself to make yourself smaller for a man this is gotta be the worst one because you'll just empower a narcissist and somebody who really does think that they're smarter than you and I've never met a man smarter than a woman in my life No, no. Even a mediocre woman is like better than the best man, I'm sorry, like I don't know if y'all saw that TikTok, but oh, except Ryan, of course. Not all men.

Yup. Not Ryan. Okay, so yeah, the first one won really big on our Patreon poll, the lower year standards. And then Spotify was kind of tied between almost tied between three, but that one still won by just a hair got 33%. And the other two got 31%. And the last one got 6%. yeah, good, good discussion. That was such a fun episode with Fleeksie. If y'all haven't listened to it yet, please make sure you do. She was great.

She had so much, you know, knowledge and like this is very clearly her area of expertise. So we had a lot of fun. Make sure you check that out. love her energy. She has like really great energy. Flexy. Yeah. she really does. Yeah, she's always had this very Los Angeles type personality on all of her socials. I really did think she was Californian when... it. Like she's just for the girls. You know what I mean?

Like she's really not like I don't think men would see her content and be like, yeah, I like her. Like I just and that always makes me love a woman. Like I'm just like, yes, you know, if if I can't picture a man like vibe into your content, that's all I need. So I have a recommendation. This was recommended to me by my friend Carly, and she found this out like one of our local stores. It's called We Need a Reckoning and it's a poetry essays and memoir by women and non-binary people of color.

And it's like this really good book. I just feel like, you know, oftentimes we get so lost in like feminist theory and like the really like kind of non-fictiony things that we just forget how beautifully women can express themselves like high key, you know, and I just love reading like female gaze-y poetry and just reminding myself that women can express so much with so few words.

it's like, oftentimes we find ourselves really dumbing down the message or trying to piecemeal it out so that it's accessible to absolutely everyone. And every once in a while, it's just nice to read a poem and feel it really deep in your soul and just be like, wow. I agree. So yeah, check it out if y'all feel like it. I have, you know, kind of been reading these like affirmations in the morning. Like, I'll just read it. Like I'll just read one and just kind of chew on it.

So yeah, it's been great. Highly recommend. Yes. Agreed. Yeah, I agree with the title. So yeah, check it out and we will see you back here next week. I don't know what we'll be talking about, but I'm sure we'll figure it out by then. And if you're a VIP, we'll see you in crumpets. Yay, crumpets, let's go. Bye y'all. Bye.