Consent, Coercion, and Control

Welcome to The Audaci-Tea the podcast by women for women. And of course, anybody else brave enough to listen. We love you all. Welcome one, welcome all. I am Lisa. I am joined by my amazing, incredible co-host, Sovereign Woman, and Gwen hello. Howdy! Always good to see you ladies. I like how we're all kind of matching today and there's like definitely kind of a unified theme going on here and um, our main topic of discussion today is going to be consent.

That has been a highly requested topic by many women and I do think that it is very, very worth dissecting on like a macro and micro level. And I'm very excited for that conversation because I think a lot of women will feel very validated by what consent really is versus what we have kind of made it as a society. Like we've really muddled all of the boundaries, all of the definitions. It's very upsetting. Please make sure that you follow us on all platforms.

We have a Patreon where we put out extra content. Most of it is not paywall though, so please do hop on in there if you're able. There's free tiers, you can just tip us like a dollar a month or you can sign up for. some of the other tiers that give you access to certain chats and certain other content that does stay paywalled.

All right, but before we get into our main segment, let's have some tea, ladies. I know that Gwen had some tea regarding the Epstein files, so let's get into that.

I just like how lately everybody's been keeping their foot on Trump's neck about the Epstein files and they should Because they campaigned on that they were like if you vote for me I will release the Epstein files and it's like I think even half those people who voted for him knew by now that like he was all over those documents and they still voted

for him so he really just has no excuse to not release them, but he's just not going to do it and it's just it's funny to me because I keep seeing these videos of these like right-wing conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones like crying because they won't release the files and there's just it's it's indefensible and Candice Owens is like saying this isn't the Trump that I originally thought he was or like some of something along those lines and it's just so funny because it's like what do mean?

Like who would have known that like a con man would have conned you who could have seen that coming?

But you know, I hope I hope that they still use their platforms to keep their foot on his neck because it this is something that they should You know at least keep somewhat of a promise on because everything else they you know were hands-off on they were not going to Follow through with any of these other promises but the one thing that they could have is that scene files and if not the files then the flight logs em I do think those should be released because I

Like everybody else, I want to know who else went to that island. Like the celebrities, the billionaires, the whoever. I just want to know. Celebrities names being on the file or on the manifest or whatever Would that auto because to me that doesn't automatically mean that they're guilty of anything The only way that it would make them guilty is if they had prior knowledge that this is this type of island, this island, these things go on at this island.

Anybody who would wanna go there at that point to me would be guilty, You're speaking as the average person, though, but most celebrities have the money to just go to Fiji or thing is they got on a plane called the Lolita Express and that plane, you know what I mean? that, a Lolita is a book. it's a term used to mean like young, young girl, young child. It's a it's also a book by Nabokov. em And it it just talks about, you know, a little girl who had to. Mm hmm. pedophile falling in love.

So, but you asked a question off air that I do think is like kind of valid when you were like, does anybody still care about the Epstein files or whatever? And I think that's a valid question because we wouldn't have to care about these files if we just believed women in the first place.

Like so many women have come out and under oath testified that either, you know, they were assaulted by these people or that they were trafficked or that they paid money to do something, but then they were like blackmailed that, oh well, we're going to tell everybody that you're a prostitute or whatever, unless you bring more little girls to be exploited and trafficked. like women have already been coming out and saying this stuff.

And men only want to believe some like weird flight logs or like some documents or whatever. It's like, believe women like women have been out here. for so many women to come out and accuse one or both of these men of misconduct and of assault and everything like that, it's like, we're literally like, yeah, anyway, release the logs, like, okay.

And that would take care of the whole who did what thing because yes, Epstein did use wealth to sort of try and, make it seem like he was a philanthropist, I mean, the whole Bill Gates excuse of why Bill Gates flew to the island was, well, he Jeffrey wanted to donate all this money and stuff like that. It's like, William, you are the one of the richest men on earth. Like, what do you mean? You were literally like, this man might give me some money.

Let me fly to his private island on a jet called the Lolita Express. Like, Insane. I don't know. Yeah. I mentally detached from all of this oh when it first happened, because, and I hate to say this, I really do. But I honestly think that even if the names were ever released, it's not gonna make a damn bit of difference. Nobody's going down, nothing's gonna happen. So that's kind of why there's a part of me that don't care.

And I'm not saying that I don't care what happened to the women and the children that got exploited. I'm not saying that at all, but I just know what kind of world we live in. Mm-hmm. I know what happens when you're rich. So I just, and there's nothing I can do. I don't have any power. can't snap my fingers and make this all go away. So I have to protect my peace. So that's why I've mentally just detached from the whole Epstein thing. Like I'm just, I I'm sorry. speaking out like.

Yeah, for sure, but it. them. But it would still let people know who not to associate with. So I think that would be enough for women to at least see...

yeah, I'm afraid it would normalize it instead. I'm afraid it would be like, well, everybody did it. So that means everybody does it and that means it's okay. Like, that's what I'm afraid of. because anybody who's been doing fuck shit, they're gonna get exposed at a later time for a different reason anyways, in my opinion.

It's only a matter of time for most So it might not be the Epstein files, but it's gonna be five years from now and someone is gonna come out the woodworks and say, hey, blah, blah, blah, did this to me. then it's gonna be to each person that was on, something's gonna happen. is somewhere, what they say, what's done in the dark will always come to the light sooner or later. So that's just my, that's my view about it.

just think that there is something so dastardly and diabolical that is in those files that other than names that they don't want people to know, because I think if it was just names, like purely just the names in a little black book, then I think it wouldn't be as much of a big of a deal. I think it's just going to be one of those things where it's so insidious at some blackmail shit next to everybody's name of what they've done. Like, you know what saying?

I'm pretty sure it's a whole dark, like, yeah. of Bill Clinton in a dress, at his house, like a painting of Bill Clinton in a dress. No, that's like confirmed. that lets you know something like that lets you know. I keep the secrets of the most powerful people like you have no idea what I know because I can sit here with this painted photo of Bill Clinton, who is like my friend, we everybody knows us as friends. And yet this is what I have in my house.

I think it's like a little bit of both of what y'all are saying because it's like on the one hand, if it was just names and if we just released it, it would in fact probably normalize it just like the Me Too movement. Like the more women came out, almost the more that the movement became discredited and people were saying, oh, now every woman has been assaulted. Yes, well in fact, yes. women have. yeah. most women and yes, uh okay.

But like we live in a world that attempts to draw attention away from that. And that's how we discredit women. It's like, if there's something that happened to too many women, that means it didn't happen at all. It means all the women lied. And it's like, no, in fact, it means the opposite. But on the other hand, the fact that this man literally ran on, I'm gonna release these files.

I'm going to expose everybody and it turns out that he in fact ran and won on this platform so that he could bury it. That is crazy work. that is... Trump never had any intentions on releasing these Epstein files. That's the crazy part.

Yeah. they're talking about and it's like he played that shit on you like he played that shit on you he convinced you he was running to release these files and instead he's literally like who are you guys talking about my bestie jeff that whole hoax yeah like this is crazy they should have released it sooner and like it's like why don't you release it was never going, listen, y'all listen, he was never going to release those files. He said what he needed to say to get elected.

And ding, ding, ding, ding, dong dummies literally voted for him because they thought that they were gonna get, like these people voted their own healthcare away for Christ sakes. No, seriously. He said, I love the uneducated and they're all laughing and cheering. And he's like, no dummy. He's talking about y'all. He thinks you guys are fucking stupid. Which you proved him right in real time. But at the end of the day, he was never going to release those files ever.

He wanted to get in there and cover up whatever he needed to cover up. But he wasn't going to be able to do that without being the commander in chief. He had to get. back in the White House. He had to get back at that level in order for him to hide it. Now all of a sudden, oh, Epstein files isn't real. That's fake. Like, really? And the fact that people still believe, I just can't, y'all. people are finding ways to justify it now, too. And it's like that's always going to happen.

There's going to be people where the boot is like so far down their throat that they just can't like stop gagging on it. Like they can't. Yeah, exactly. You're just not you're never getting rid of that boot. It's always going to be there. It's crazy. No, seriously, seriously. You're just always going to sound like you're gagging a boot no matter what. Yeah, well that is T for sure.

And I love that he's even been caught saying like, yeah, all that stuff about me in the Epstein files was all fake, we're finding. And it's like, he can't help it. He just gives himself away. It's like, so there was a bunch of stuff about you in the files. Like, okay. But I'm also like most of the, yes. why he was able to pull this off, the people who voted him in.

consider the fact that a lot of these people are aware of misconduct allegations around men in their own community that they discredit women for. It's like if more of you Christians were this concerned about your pastor, right? Because I give this challenge to people all the time. It's my favorite challenge to give people. Go to the Google News tab of your Google thing and type in local pastor. Hit search.

Tell me what the fuck comes up and these are the people that will keep going to church every Sunday Release the Epstein logs believe the women in your own fucking community Right because if you really want to crack down on pedophilia and like women being you know trafficked and assaulted and groomed and all that kind of stuff You need to look to the powerful men in your own community and we need to stop also how stupid to believe a powerful man was going to expose himself and other powerful men.

When has that ever happened? Like, seriously, it is absolutely crazy. But yeah, that is really funny. I oh, God. first place, I need y'all to know that money is kind of like an iceberg. The billionaires and CEOs and people that you're well aware of that have a lot of money are like the top of the iceberg that you can see. But there are people around this world that have so much money and it goes so much deeper than you or I could ever conceive of. That is called hidden money.

And that is what forensic accountants try so hard to expose, but it just goes so far deep. like they had what's called the Panama Papers and that exposed like all these offshore accounts with like billions of dollars and the journalists who exposed that, uh nope, it's not that nobody cared, it's like that person got disappeared and then those files got like kind of pushed down in the media and suppressed. So I do think you should look up the Panama Papers if you're interested, so.

Yeah, I still remember when that was a thing and when everybody was like, yeah, let's expose the Panama Papers and like speaking of, know, ordinary citizens trying to expose

things rather than just like being in community and allowing community to do its thing. I might see this week as the Coldplay concert couple and how comfortable. How comfortable people were with the witch hunt of it all. And I'm not, you know what I mean? The video itself, very funny. The circumstances, very funny. It makes it even better that it was a CEO, billionaire, like whatever, putting him on blast, very funny. What have been the practical results of that?

The man's wife in question had to delete her Facebook due to harassment. The man's daughter in question, the woman that he was having an affair with is getting oh so much more heat than the CEO. People are like, it's so moral for a head of HR. He's the CEO. We're missing that whole piece of it. It immediately turns into misogyny.

And I've seen this so much too because I've been commentating on the season of Love Island and shit got so crazy this year We are in unprecedented times and we're normalizing the kind of digital witch hunt that will hurt women and children first and foremost. And I'm really concerned about that because while this particular instance of it was funny, we have to admit that people had no idea that this man was a CEO or anything like that before they followed their weird ass urge to dox him.

It would be enough for the video to go viral like their spouses will find out. You know, if the video is viral and everybody's having a good time just commentating on the circumstances like whatever their spouses will get wind of it one way or another. You did not need to dox them. You did not need to take justice into your own hands. And there's people out there saying that we should make cheating illegal. And I'm sitting here asking, um like in the Bible. Right, right.

to stone women outside of the city like in the bible Here's the thing, we would be stoning the men more than the women though. No, but I get what you're saying, but I'm saying if we were to follow that, the stoning would have to be, I'm not saying we will stone the men, but I'm saying it would have to be the men that we're stoning because, men who are married are the ones committing adultery. If he's with a single woman, she's not married, she's not committing adultery.

I know, I know, realistically, she's not the one that took marriage vows or anything. It's him. So we would have to be stoning the men So we already know that the patriarchy is never gonna let that happen.

but the craziest part about this whole thing is had they just sat there and looked normal and didn't look guilty and duck and dodge, no one would have thought anything of it.

The people would have just moved on. They just would have been the normal. Somebody would have probably caught it years down the road or you know what I mean, or whenever, but they did all of that. And he even said, someone's either, either they're very shy or they're having an affair. And that killed it. Yeah. what killed it. And but I just think that like going to the links that people have gone to, it just reminds me of like how, OK, like there was a girl on Love Island and it turned out that

she had used a racial slur in the past. And so she was rightfully two women, actually, this season were removed from Love Island, like in the night from the villa. They were just snatched up out of there. because it was found out that they had used racial slurs in the past. Neither of the women were white. Just also another piece of this, neither of the women were white. They were both oh Hispanic, I think. And one of the women's family ended up, like people were calling ice on her family.

People were doxing, you know, her family members, right? Then there was another instance in which there were two black women on the show and in which like, this kind of vigilante justice was applied to them by people saying that they need to get beat up. Right. Like that is horrible. That is crude misogynoir. That is violence against black women. And people did not even feel comfortable saying that about the women who used racial slurs. People were not advocating to beat them up.

But then when two black women did something that a lot of people didn't like, uh which was, I mean, it was all very trivial things like people were calling them like mean girls just because they didn't wanna be supporting somebody's delusion or whatever. Like, I don't know, they were like actually trying to be, hold people accountable. But what that turned into was violence against black women. One of the women got her TikTok account hacked and she still doesn't have access to it to this day.

She doesn't have access to her own TikTok account. The other one of the women Buzzfeed, the brand like Buzzfeed, something food or whatever, posted a meme inciting violence against her saying that she needs to eat a knuckle sandwich for breakfast. Meanwhile, this is one of the sweetest girls in the villa who has literally not done anything to justify this kind of, you know, vigilante justice or whatever.

Then there was another woman on Love Island that some people didn't like because she was kind of the drama this season. And there's plenty of reason not to like her. but there's a man out on the internet right now saying that whatever deals that Huda gets from Love Island, I'm gonna contact those companies and I'm gonna like make sure that she loses these deals, she loses these brand deals. The woman in question is a single mother. Like we are losing the motherfucking plot.

Like there's a way to hold people accountable without doing all of this. This is crazy. am so glad that the birth rate is declining. It's stuff like this where people get mad at me because I really believe humanity should go extinct. And they're like, how can you say that? You're a human. Exactly. Exactly. see how all of this stuff every day confirms just how horrible people are. People are absolute garbage, in my opinion.

Trash human beings that should not be allowed to breathe the same air as the rest of us. So I'm like, team let the birth rate plummet to hell, shout out to Burb. Like that's literally how I like every day, every time I see one of her videos and she said the birth rates are still plummeting every day, I'm like, yes, that's what needs to happen. I'm so serious.

just say the other piece about Love Island is that there were multiple men this season that have done the same types of things that have said slurs, that have been like exposed for being, you know, very non politically correct. And guess what the fuck happened to them? Nothing. Nothing. So I'm like, whenever you get out the beating stick, just know that it's going to fall on women every single time. And women of color.

more than anything and people already do this like the surveillance part piece of this is already being employed against people of color against by like white karens and tods policing neighborhoods and recording you know black people that don't belong this is already happening like whole thing goes full circle with the overturning of Roe vs. Wade, keeping the numbers, because white people want to keep their numbers, all the immigrants, and get rid of DEI.

This is all targeted towards women, in my opinion, all women of all races. This is a way for men to feel like they need to be back on top again. it's going to come from every little nook and cranny of every a reality show, who's the CEO of a company, who's this, who's that, like, no matter where, every little nook and cranny where they can gain power over women, that's what this whole thing is to me. Every day is gonna be more stories like this.

And it's gonna get worse because, you know, women are taking charge of their own lives. No, seriously, it's literally getting worse. And it's gonna keep getting worse because all because women are choosing themselves. Women are just taking control of their lives. That's really what this whole thing is about. Trying to keep women down. yes. And male centered women, it pisses them off so bad. And it's like, we're never getting out of hell. Like, I don't know what to say.

Like, we're just not coming up. we're not. Exactly, that is what it is. Like, that's what it's coming down to because what is happening, this was not the case, you know, from someone who was there to see it and alive like two years ago. you know, five years ago, this was not the fucking case. Like we were not acting like this as a society. And now we're basically crossing the line into like, yeah, let's just surveil each other. Let's just report wrong thing to the government. what do you mean?

we're, this is, this is the USSR. This is like people, ordinary citizens were trained to be KGB. Just like people are accepting those ICE positions right now. just like, you know, and they're doing it for so little money that it's unthinkable that you're doing it for any kind of like, noble reason. Yeah, you're you're doing it because you think that these people deserve to suffer.

Which is another reason why I feel like, it's making me think of the robot movies where all the robots come to the realization that humans are the problem and they have to save us from ourselves, if you will. And as much as it pains me to say that as a human being, and it pisses me off because I'm like, I'm not doing nothing to nobody. I'm just minding my own business and living my life. And there's so many of us that are like not doing anything, but.

The very fact that we have come here to this point where we are now, we deserve to go extinct, as a species, in my opinion. it's unfortunate, but it's almost like we're doing this to ourselves. Every little thing that people don't think is a big deal is going to contribute to the fall of humanity. That's just the way my brain is conjuring this up. I'm like, this is not good.

Like you are, just like you were saying earlier, people are comfortable with the way that they came after the CEO and the side chick, which don't get me wrong, they got what was coming to them or whatever. But it's just like, why are y'all so comfortable? Why are y'all comfortable with calling ice on people that like y'all are literally ruining families. Y'all are literally ripping four year olds away from their mom and dad. Like why, why would you be okay with that? And these people are evil.

Like people are fucking evil. it goes deeper than that because like you think you're calling ice on just one person, but what ice is going to do is they're going to take a look at that whole family tree and see who's here legally and who's here not. And it's just, there's going to come after not just like the person that you wanted them to go after, but they're to go after like their family, their friends, anybody they associate with these businesses that they frequent.

They're going to like put it like almost like a hit on them and just like kind of follow them everywhere and see who they associate with and so on and so forth. So it's. be a domino effect because think about how much money they put into the economy. They're all gone. You got your donut shop in the area where there's a bunch of Mexican people or immigrants from all around the world. I'm just using them as an example.

And what do you think is gonna happen to your donut shop if you don't have customers? This is going to, I'm just using it as an example. It's going to literally screw, everybody is going to be affected by this in one way or another. And then they're going to blame it on women. Like, I don't know how, but they will. They will. because the white women that are left here are not producing enough babies. We need to force that. literally, that's what it's going to be.

The economy's crumbling because we don't have any of our own children. You know, we're the American children. It's going to be something like that. And we're not going to see the effects of these things fully for, you know, years, just like it was with the Patriot Act. And they use the war to justify spying on regular citizens. And now the government can like, you know, everyone jokes about, my FBI agent watching me save TikToks or whatever. It's normalized. It's normalized.

Everyone's like, yeah, well, of course the government is watching us. Like that's not normal. That's not okay. We deserve a right to privacy. And when you invade people's privacy on a large scale, that is scary. gives that then the government and other bad actors in the capitalism sphere look at that and say, oh, got it, got it.

We're okay with this, which means we're also okay with X, Y, and Z. And then, you know, it backfires on the regular citizens first and foremost, but it backfires double that on marginalized communities. That is what it is, because they need people to put in jails. So yeah, let's criminalize cheating. That's just more people working for free in a jail, you know? criminalizing cheating is crazy.

There are women out there who would rather criminalize being cheated on You would rather, I just don't get. I hate the whole cheating thing. I hate anybody that's cheating. You should not be cheating is wrong, whatever. But at the same time, I would never vote for it to be criminalized because that's gonna open up a whole new cannon worm. You know how many people are gonna die just because it's like, I'm gonna go tell the courts that you were cheating on me. All of y'all gonna be dead.

All y'all gonna die. Like you're not, this is not gonna have the outcome that you think. It's just, nah, y'all have to have foresight and y'all need to think ahead, which they're never gonna do that anyways, just because we live in a patriarchy and they uphold cheating. Like that's a. exactly. Bro code. Like that's what I'm saying. Like y'all think that this is going to hurt men? No, it won't because men will be like, no, he was with me. That's bro code. You know what I mean?

Like it's women that are always getting hung out to dry. Yes. that they don't agree with politically or they don't, men stick together no matter what. Women, really wish we could take uh a note, some notes out of the man's handbook when it comes to uh bro code. They stick together no matter what. They don't even have to like each other, but we won't stick together because you wear makeup. So I don't think, you're a mom. So I don't think you should, you're not even a real feminist.

And that's why we're always gonna be in a situation we're in as women because we don't know how to stick together. It's so pathetic. And the more I do this, the more I just, anyway. I hate this pedestal that we put women on that we don't put men on at all. Like that's why like the standards are so much more harsh and like all of these consequences are far harsher on women because we put them on this pedestal like even when we're not perfect. the ones who birth them.

So if you have the power to give birth, you're naturally by default going to get blamed for whatever happens. Because I mean, you have the power to not give birth. And I know that sounds very radical to a lot of people. Like, what do you mean? Humanity would die. It should. But that's a whole other topic. I don't care about humanity dying. Do you care about being blamed decisions of your offspring or not? because you're gonna get blamed no matter what.

I personally wouldn't be able to deal with any of that. That's why I chose not to have kids. One of the reasons. I'm sorry to say that. And I don't agree with it, but I'm just saying, like, you have to understand why you're being blamed. A lot of them are jealous of the fact that women have the power to decide who comes here or not. There are a lot of men who has not gotten over that.

And they hate women, they're massaging these shows through because anything that's girl-like or anything that's woman-like is wrong and it's bad and it's whatever. And they're raising their sons up to think the same thing and then they're raising up their sons. And so it's like, at some point you have the power to kind of cut that off. I'm just putting that out there.

I think women are women are slowly shutting off the the spigot of like we're just done like we're done because we cannot keep just Popping. Yes. Yes for B movement like huge ally All right. Well, we are very much out of time for this segment um But yes, let's take a short break and then when we come back, let's talk about consent. All right. Welcome back y'all.

And we are here to talk about consent today. This is obviously a very huge topic that ranges from like society wide things to individual levels of like where it's affecting people in the bedroom and at home and all of that. So If y'all don't mind, I would kind of like to start out with a bird's eye view and then sort of get into the more individual parts of consent. Because I do think that that individual level is dictated by how we feel about women and consent in general as a society.

I hope y'all see where I'm kind of going with that. I often use this one illustration to talk about this. And I will send it to Ryan and hopefully we can include it in this episode so that people can see it visually but It's like this little pyramid, right? Where a bunch of people are at first, um you know, holding up like one thing and then up at the very top, it says femicide, which is like killing women. And the question is, why did no one do anything? But all of that is held up.

And this has to do with consent, I promise. But all of that is held up by things like sexist humor. So the very bottom of the pyramid and the most amount of people are holding up sexist humor. Then the next part is devaluing women. Then the next is approaching without consent. The next is touching without consent. Then there's abuse, then there's rape, and then there's femicide. So all of these things are very deeply intertwined and it kind of starts with just how we perceive women as a society.

So I just wanted to open up with that and Just open up the floor for us to talk about this. Thank you. like, I do think that that's like, it's a it's a cultural problem. Like it's us as a culture of people and us living in a society where we interact with each other. And there's this whole thing about me too, where it started where they were saying like, it starts with locker room talk or locker room banter.

And the things that just get, you know, pushed aside and excused and like swept under the rug.

And then when we look back in like the 2000s type of movies, like those like, you know, American Pie humor type raunchy comedies like a lot of that was just misogyny like straight up like it's it grosses me out like because I remember that those being so popular but I was just I was too young to like watch those I think I was maybe like four or five when some of those came out and then when I got to watch them as like a teenager or like as an adult it just I was like damn

how did this even get past is like funny and it's just it's horrifying so I do think it starts at that like you know kind of bottom level layer and all that that gets excused And also men have a sense of entitlement to women, regardless. It's like they're born with this sense of entitlement. I'm not saying that they are, but it just seems like it because it's almost ingrained in almost all of them. Like they have this sense of like, you should pay attention to me.

Even if you're walking down the street and you're minding your own business, you're waiting at the bus stop or you're shopping at the store or whatever and they come up to you. And they feel as though because they risked getting rejected. They put themselves out there that you need to reciprocate. You need to pay them some attention. Look at them, give them your phone number, laugh at their jokes, whatever.

And of course there are those few unfortunate situations where, you know, a man has taken a woman's life because she didn't want to give him his phone number. So they have this sense of entitlement to begin with, which I... Every chance I get, tell men, women don't owe you shit. Nobody owes you eye contact in public. Nobody has to speak to you. Just like the guy who went viral uh about a week or two ago. What's with black women that don't want to speak in the store?

I looked right at her eyeballs and she looked right at me and she didn't say nothing back. And I laughed and I did a video about it because it was funny. But I'm like, that's what I'm talking about. They really feel as though you're supposed to speak to them. Don't nobody owe you nothing. Mm-hmm. And until a lot of these men understand, that's the part of the patriarchy that sets boys up for failure, is thinking because you approach a woman, she needs to talk to you. She has to talk to you.

Then if they haven't been taught proper etiquette as far as being rejected or anger management, they will literally attack a woman because she's like, no, thank you. And most women are not even rude. There are some rude women out there that is like rude when they say no.

The vast majority of women, no, no, no, they are. But no, it is. But I'm just saying the women are not, most women are not even rude about it. They're not even like being mean and degrading or anything to these men to give them any reason why they feel like they should attack you. I'm not saying it's ever okay to be attacked by any means, but I'm saying, well, most women are saying, well, I have a husband. Mm-hmm. or have a girlfriend or I'm focusing on myself right now.

That's my favorite thing to say. I'm focusing on me right now, you know? And the men will get angry. And it's like, you're going to hit on 50 other women. Just go to woman number three now or woman number four. Like, what's the problem? But they have a sense of entitlement. It is a numbers game. They know it is, but they probably get turned down so much. And I feel like if women are rejecting you left and right, it's you. you probably should stop uh approaching women.

Yeah, stop approaching women. Go sit in a corner at home somewhere and figure out, that's what I'm saying. more realistic with yourself about the kind of women you should be approaching, like. I hate to say that. Yeah. It's so true. maxing, you got a looks match. Like that is what it is. And it's not it's not shade at either the men or the women, but it's just like, listen, there's certain things.

I think this also like sneaky comes back to gender roles like hearing you talk about like men feeling entitled to women. is because we teach men that they're leaders. Because a man thinks he should be able to look at you and lead you. It's a huge lie. The biggest lie of ever told, right? It's up there with God is a man and he creates people. Like it's up there with that, right? there with, we came from the ribs of Adam. Yeah. Like through the Bible, through... Yeah, yes.

It's how it's perpetuated. Like that's how it's packaged. But like the thing at the core of it is definitely entitlement. But it's also like that entitlement is like put forth in our culture. Like a lot of men would have grown up with a dad who is like, no, it's my way or the highway. Like it's my word. I'm putting my foot down.

and the mom just had to listen, the mom just had to follow along with his bad decisions, the mom just had to be okay with being let off a cliff, and that's what these boys are growing up seeing, and they're like, I want a submissive woman like that. And so when they come up to a woman and she's not naturally immediately submissive to them, they glitch, exactly, and they cannot figure it out. And then the other part of what you're describing is being approached without consent, and then.

Men will push back on that being like, yeah, well, how are we supposed to ask women out? like now you women are complaining that nobody's approaching you. And it's like there's a right and a wrong way to approach somebody with and without consent. Like you can say, hey, can I talk to you for a second? Hey, can I like, you know what I mean? It's it's annoying for sure. Yes. Also, like consider the places where you're approaching women, right? Is she at a grocery store? Is it after work?

Is it, you know what I mean? Like maybe, right. Like there are singles events. There are events that you can sign up for and there will be that like that's the consent part, right? Like when you go to a grocery store, you're not signing up. You're not consenting to random people talking to you, right? Like to especially to random men, especially being asked out on dates. That's not what you consent to. You consent to shopping for food and paying for that food.

That's the only things you are consenting to. when men just assume that they're entitled to women out in the wild, like that's crazy. Being acting like that's the only time that you have to ask a woman out. That's not true. Like there are literally mixers. are clubs with an emphasis on it's singles night or it's ladies night or whatever. And so the people that go there, they know what they're getting into. And people miss that fundamental piece of it.

They're like, well, just because you were, you had the nerve to exist around me. You have to now be nice to me when I approach you without consent. And that's crazy. And that leads to other things like, touching women for consent or like, I can't pay you a compliment. Like, no, you're hollering at me from across the street. That's not a compliment that I did not consent to that compliment. Now that's undue attention. It sounds like a threat. Exactly. And across the street and you're yelling.

Yes, exactly. And then people will take that and be like, women are so dramatic about this stuff. And it's like, no, no, no, we're going up the pipeline, right? The approaching without consent, the touching without consent. You know, that's why like a lot of times this is applied to black women. And a lot of white women do this to black women, too. And it's that's misogynoir. That's you acting like a white man.

just being like, it's okay for me to comment on a black woman's like body or hair or like touch things without consent. Like that is all male centered and that is anti-woman. That is anti-consent. Like when I tell y'all that like my husband of 13 years will still be like, hey, can I like run up and squeeze you really tight so that he doesn't catch me off guard when he wants to do that so that I'm not like, you know, shocked or something when he comes up to me or like.

wants to, you know, be playful with me, like that still requires consent. That still is like, hey, are you in the mood for this? Like, hey, can we like, you know what I mean? And it's even more so when it comes to like intimacy, you know, and like once we get into things like, you know, the bedroom or whatever, that's where we can like, you know, really break it down. But it's the fact that like society doesn't feel as though women are entitled to consent. Society at large, other women included.

Right, they'll be like, I like it when men, cat call me. I like it. I think it's a compliment. And it's like, yeah, good. I'm glad you don't care about, so lost, so pathetic, like. Just for context, if you think a man complimenting you or coming up to you or cat calling you is a compliment, remember the Butterball Turkeys. Remember the Monitor Lizards. Remember the... Remember... Yes, please, please pay attention to how STDs got introduced to the human race to begin with. Please.

Please understand again that once a man approaches you, he's approached 50 women before you and he's gonna approach another 50 after you. It is not special. You are not special because a man is saying, you're so beautiful. They're telling every woman the same thing. You have to have higher self-esteem than that, ladies, please. That's it.

when they have like the really clever pickup lines like that just means they're an expert at approaching women without consent like trying to fool women if it works on you, they know it's gonna work on the next 10 women that they ask later today too, probably. So you're not special, trust me. my God. Yes.

And this, you know, like sexist humor and devaluing women, like that's something that women participate into. And I just hate that so much because it gives credence to all, all, all the rest of it. And like commenting on women's bodies, commenting on how women are dressing, all of that devalues women. It devalues women to a piece of meat. to something that everyone's entitled to look at and they'll be like, why can I see your labia at the gym?

I don't know, I see men's nipples all the time at the gym. I see men's outlines of things all the time at the gym. There are men who show up to my hot yoga class in a Speedo and I can see way more than just their labia. You know what I mean? I'm serious. Like I'm just exposing things that I've literally been like that I've seen.

Like there's a man in one of my classes that keeps wearing these like yoga shorts that I don't think he realizes the whole there's a square on the butt and it's all mesh and you can see his butt crack through it. And y'all are talking about you can see exactly exactly. And y'all are talking about women I can see your labia at the gym. I don't fucking care. So what if you can let's normalize it. There was a f- the fucking moose knuckle. You know what I mean?

want me to just like take my pussy and put it on my nightstand? Like what you want me to do with that for real? want me to take it off? Like, what the fuck? Ryan is doubled over right now. episode with the shorts. I don't know if y'all watched Friends or not, but there was an episode with the shorts and he was always hanging out at the bottom of his shorts. He was sitting in chair and have his legs up on the arm and show everything and it was just the funniest thing. But we're traumatized, yeah.

And yeah, it starts with stuff like that. It really does and we think it's harmless. Mm-hmm. it goes up that pyramid, like you said. But that episode was funny though. very funny. But they like, so many men are like actually like indecent exposure-vers or whatever it is, like indecent, what is that called? Like they will literally walk around in like a trench coat. Yeah. what is the word? Um. exhibitionist or something like like a peeping tom type.

Somebody that likes to flash themselves or, yeah. uh it's like women get demonized just for wearing outfits. it's like, meanwhile, literally men are out here in a trench coat and nothing else. Put in a fucking drive through showing their dick to women like that's crazy. Like ask any ask any bikini barista about male entitlement, by the way, too, because those men will literally will pull up with their dick out. Like that's so crazy. Like that's entitlement. Right.

Just because a woman's dressed a certain way and all of that. think about the kind of porn men are watching, right? Where it's like the most diabolical things are becoming normalized, porn where it's like consensual non-consent or even worse than that, you you have all kinds of porn that's just like a woman, I don't know, like even just how porn starts, it's like, oh, a pizza guy comes over and all of a sudden he's having sex with you. Like, that's not normal, that's not. right.

live their sex life. Usually we have to vet, we have to like make sure the guy's not a serial killer first. And men are out here acting like women are that horny to where we're not concerned about our personal safety. I wish, I wish that were the case, you know what I mean? Like I wish that it was that easy and simple and fun and whatever, but it's not. Men are actively dangerous to women and we downplay that. every single day where like no women should actually be complimented by it.

Imagine if men never gave you guys compliments. Men never get compliments and we're lonely and it's like give each other compliments. I wouldn't miss men's compliments because every time I see a woman who's my friend I get a fucking compliment and I give one back. So guess what? I don't need y'all's compliments. It's fucking crazy to be so entitled. Like that's insane work. Being the object of someone's attraction, especially a man, is terrifying, actually.

Like the moment a man set his sights on me in that way, my heart will start beating kind of fast. Like, I don't know if this man's a rapist. I don't know what, I don't know. So in my mind, I'm not flattered by a man's attention. I'm actually threatened by it. until I see or can feel he's an okay guy. Like you're guilty until proven innocent with me, not the other way around. So, you know, and that's typically how a lot of women have to go through life.

A lot of them don't, a lot of them go through, he's innocent until proven guilty. I mean, that's your business, but a lot of us are not. Yeah, absolutely not. yeah, definitely. I just- I have a question about all of these old, like, you know, porn-

situations of like the 70s, 80s, maybe even 90s where it was like the pizza delivery that got stuck in the washer or whatever or the, what's another like common trope that happens? pool boy. I wonder if like, you know, back in the 70s and 80s and like maybe 90s, if there was like a higher amount of trust in men and between men and women in general or if that these were always just like, you know, an extreme type of fantasy. Cause like, wonder like, cause it's gotta come from somewhere, right?

And I just wonder, maybe somebody can answer that in the comments for our Gen X ladies who were there during that time and can tell me if that was just, was that really a thing? Were women just grabbing these pizza delivery boys and just having their way with them? Or a pool boy or somebody? don't, because I'm fascinated. those are mostly the fantasies of men, but I do believe that women were doing that. And I just don't think it was on a grand scale.

It was like a one-off here and a one-off there. don't think, far as like feeling safer, huh? you, in those days there was like, you know, it would get murky with can you even afford to get divorced? Like, can you, you know what I mean? I don't know. So. Especially if you knew that your husband was having affairs and he had a whole other family's on the side and the pool boy is here today and your husband is out of town for a week on business, allegedly.

And it's like, hmm, I've been watching him for a while. I can absolutely see how, yeah, I can absolutely see how that happened. But as far as like the trust amongst each other back then, I do think there is a difference. Only because when I was coming up, yes, it was always a dangerous world. It's always been a dangerous world. But it was okay. I grew up at the tail end of a man comes to pick you up for a date and you, I live over here.

And you know, they just come pick you up on a date and you wasn't really worried about being stalked and killed and whatever else. I feel like I grew up on the tail end of what they call chivalry and the guys come in to open your door and when he drops you off, makes sure that you're in the house before he drives off. And then we crossed over into this like, girl don't tell nobody where you stay. Get at me on your real phone number. Don't do this, don't do that.

And so there was a time I believe, just based on a little bit of time I've been on the earth, where it seemed safer. Like we would just kind of. sure. But was that because men were like had, yeah, okay, get there, get there. I was just gonna ask it, was that because men really did like were entitled to women on some level? Like men still knew that like women don't have like jobs or careers at that time. right?

Like not a lot of women were career women in the 70s, 80s, even 90s, you know, like it was ramping up. But I think as it ramped up, that's where men started getting more pissed and more entitled because they weren't just promised, you know, like women were getting more selective too. And women were not having to settle, you know, left and right, just to have a man just to be have permission, just have a credit card. just to have like, you know, a roof over their head.

And I think that's where it started getting more murky with men being like, no, no, no, you, I will find you. Like I will track you down, you know? I think they felt women, some of them, some of them probably felt women starting to slip away and they tried just a little bit harder before they gave up. Like that moment where it's like, okay, I gotta do this. Okay, maybe I should do this now. Okay, maybe I gotta impress her this way.

And then once guys start realizing that that wasn't necessarily working, then it's like, okay, now I'm just gonna start killing bitches. know what I mean? Like I'm just using it as an example. I just think there's a transition period. I just wonder like, when and where and how, it definitely, dating used to be fun.

When I was coming up, like it was actually fun. you was, you wasn't necessarily afraid of, don't get me wrong. We knew it was some crazy men out there for sure, but that wasn't the norm. It wasn't like every date you go on, you're fearing for your life. It was like once every blue moon you would go on a date like that. But now it's like... You can't even go to your mailbox without... You know what mean?

And the way that women talk about like when they do get, you know, left alone with men, like that entitlement kind of skyrockets where they're like, yeah, the first time we kissed, he put his hands on my throat, started choking me. And I'm like, I've literally never heard of this. Like I literally, like when I was coming up, when we were dating, like that was not a fucking thing. Like you had to specifically.

Clarify that you were into that you had to find a man who was into that like women were struggling finding men who were into that and Back when I was coming up. Yes, and now well and it's like men still won't do that They will just ask a woman out on a date and then choke her Because they don't want to bother they don't like the consent part of it. They don't like it They like to catch a woman off off guard. It gives them power. It makes them feel powerful The cruelty is the point, exactly.

Like the feeling of woman, smaller than you or whatever, like more vulnerable than you, that's what makes your pee-pee hard instead of consent. Like it's so sick. And that's another reason why when men choose to rape women, it has nothing to do with what you were wearing. It has nothing to do with how you were carrying yourself or how nice your body is or how nice it not. None of that matters. It's about the power play. It's about, I want to see her scream or I want to hear her beg.

No, they get off on that. so, know, so that's the whole, the whole, you dress thing is what caused your rape pisses me off more than anything. Like, oh my God. uh Remember when we were talking about the exhibit, what were you wearing exhibit? And there were onesies up there, like baby onesies. And little girl outfit, yeah, little ballerina dresses and stuff for a two year old. Yeah, so I want women to understand that. It has nothing to do with that.

has to do with the mindset of that particular man or these men who do those things. eh to have a fucking museum like people don't understand. People act like this shit is so rare. No, literally, like every woman like I could tell you what I was wearing. I was 13 years old. You know what I mean? I couldn't have been wearing anything that bad, like couldn't have been wearing anything that made a grown man look at me and think, let me molest her real quick in this parking lot. That's not OK.

Like it doesn't matter what you're wearing. The point is consent. The point is How are we gonna act as humans to one another? And the worst part of it is too, like if y'all don't mind, we can transition into the more individual part of it, is like how entitled men feel to you, especially after they get into a relationship with you or get married or whatever. Like a lot of men use that as an excuse to just skirt consent, to just avoid it whatsoever.

And they start pressuring women into, X amount of times a week or X amount of times a day or you know, this is they start equating it to love they start equating it to acceptance or need or whatever and it's like It we it just gets so crazy and that's where like the most dangerous thing happens, right?

Because femicide doesn't happen on the grand scale that we're you know talking about but it's because so many men feel so comfortable making sexist jokes and jokes that devalue women like, you need to be in the kitchen or that's what she said or whatever.

All these kind of jokes make other men think that it's OK once you do have a woman in your vicinity that she owes you certain things or because she consented to being in your vicinity or because she consented to going on a date and you paid for dinner. Now she owes you sex like all of this is like. You don't view women as human beings. And it's like, what do we owe each other as human beings? Like. that I just looked it up. Marital rape only became illegal in 1993.

July 5th, 1993. Historically, most rape statutes read that rape was forced sexual intercourse with a woman, not your wife, thus granting husbands a license to rape. But on July 5th, 1993, marital rape became a crime in all 50 states under at least one section of the sexual offense codes. Which I didn't even know we had codes at this point. Like they just begin away with it left and right, but I digress. So. Yeah, what codes, but yeah, no, that's.

Yeah, I was just looking that up too, Gwen, at the same time. The first state to criminalize rape, marital rape, was South Dakota in 1975, and then Nebraska in 1976. But in order for, yeah, like you said, for all states to criminalize marital rape was 1993, which that was not that long ago, people. That was not that long ago. It just was not that long ago. And can you imagine the, like Lisa was saying, the... amount of entitlement men feel once they marry you or once you become a girlfriend.

Like you have to give them sex whenever they want it. You can't say no. Being is basically to these men's mind, being my girlfriend or being my wife is consent. That is consent to them. And no, woman, your wife or girlfriend has the right to say no, especially if you've been cheating on her, especially if she's not in the mood, especially for whatever today is.

the sky is blue today, it doesn't really matter the reason, I wanna make that very clear. But I'm just saying, A woman's consent, she can say no at any time, period, point blank, for any reason. But for men to not even understand when she actually has like a real, like, hardcore reason, like you've been cheating on me. yeah. You know, I don't trust you. don't know. You put my health at risk or you've been beating me. Surprise, surprise.

I'm not in the mood after you just like beat me up or, you know, I worked all day or I've been raising the kids, whatever her reason is. Today is Tuesday and it's seven o'clock. That's the reason why I don't want to. You know what mean? The reason doesn't matter. And so I want to make that very clear. Every reason for you to not want to have sex is legitimate. It is your reason. Anytime you feel Something is off. There's a reason why something's off.

There's a reason why you can't sleep next to him at night. There's a reason why you feel anxiety when you're around him. There's a reason why you're not ready. Doesn't matter if you understand what the reason is. What matters is that you follow your instinct. If you're saying, you know, dick in hand, right? You're at his house. Y'all literally getting ready to get it on. And for whatever reason, something comes over you and you're like, No. ah I don't think I'm ready.

I thought I was ready, but I'm not. I'm so sorry. That's it. Anything he does at that point from that point on is rape. No, no, no, I know, but I'm just, I just know how women are. We are always apologizing for shit when we shouldn't be. Sometimes it's just a figure of speech, but it's like, you know, you have the right to say no. There's a reason why your body is telling, cause your body knows before you do, in my opinion. Your body will reject a man.

before you even had time to think about why you should reject him. So just follow your instinct. There is a reason do not let people gaslight you. Don't let these men say, well, dick is in hand. I'm getting ready. This is this close. I'm getting ready to, no, it doesn't matter. Even if you were into it up until that point and then something came over you for whatever reason, a fly flew by. I got a fly in my room. So I'm trying to take my mind off. I'm like, like un. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

changed my mind or no, or I've never agreed to this or whatever it is. Anything a man does to you from that point forward is rape, point blank period, or assault or whatever. Coercion, absolutely. And go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. I just gonna say a man should even be able to tell and most of them can. They can tell when you are uncomfortable. They can tell when you're freezing up. They can tell when you're no longer an enthusiastic participant. Trust me, they can tell.

And if you are ever experiencing any of that, like I know some women involuntarily freeze up when stuff starts happening and that is a scary place to be. And the last person you want around you during that time is a man who's gonna take advantage of that rather than be like, hey, I noticed that you're just like not as into it. Let's just stop. Let's stop for a second. Let's reevaluate, you know, how we're feeling.

At least if he's not doing that at least or at least asking you or at least being like, you know, hey, I'm just noticing you're not as into it. Are you sure you're into it? Are you sure we don't need to stop? that man is a rapist. I'm sorry, but he can tell. He can tell unless you are like faking, like enthusiastically faking, being enthusiastic, um they can tell, they can tell. And even like, I think we should hold men to higher standards.

Like just because you're there, like naked and stuff, but you're laying there. Because why is it that so many women are like, yeah, I told my husband like, well, you can do whatever you want. I'm just gonna lay here. Why are we normalizing this shit? Ladies, what the hell? And also like, Men, what the hell, sorry, like not even ladies because it's because of men that women feel so pressured to do that, to be like, well, I'll just lay there. It's like we're normalizing non-consensual sex.

We're normalizing rape. I'm guilty of that. I've done that before um with one of my exes. Well, I was mad at him. So I was like mad at him and I just was not in the mood and um he didn't care. so, no, here's the thing. think women tell men that because we want you to know that, and we want you to feel uncomfortable. Cause see right now, cause see right now I'm uncomfortable and I want you to feel uncomfortable. I'm saying it.

What I'm saying is I'm saying it because I understand the lens of why women are saying that we have normalized it, but women are typically saying it to the guy because it's like, we want you to be like, she don't want it. Then I don't want it. And it doesn't always work, but that's the, that's the reason why we're doing it. Cause we want to turn you off. Sometimes it will work for some men. Sometimes it won't. stop fucking asking like because they don't understand how to not coerce somebody.

It's like that's that's a response to like, okay, do you really want it like this? Like you really want it like me just laying here, me just not enthusiastic, me absolutely not interested, me uncomfortable, me just having to like take it like, wow. And please know that's a red flag, ladies, too. It doesn't. It's a huge red flag. If he doesn't care that you are not into it and he doesn't anyway, he's rapist to me. Like, I'm sorry. Yeah, he's total sociopath. is so disturbing.

not that we as a society, I guess, kind of normalize it. think religion plays a huge part of that because there was a lot of conditioning within, I guess, the Bible or just within Christian scopes that this woman who is your wife, she has a duty to you. This is a part of her wifely duties. And so they both kind of follow this script where the wife just kind of lays there and the husband just thinks that that's normal. The man thinks that's normal. And I'm not excusing it in any way, shape, form.

what you're agree. but there is like a sort of like, I guess, kind of a programming or a script that they both kind of follow and they're concerned. It's our displeasure and our hesitation and our, you know, unwillingness to be enthusiastic participants. They've come to expect that. Like they've come to just kind of, you know, work with it and they'll sexualize it, definitely. That's to them. That's a conquest.

Remember that video that we both did a video on of the woman who said every time her husband wants to have sex with her, she has to remind herself that this is his way of connecting, which is absolutely pathetic. I'm like, that is not... The very fact that women still fall for that is another problem. He's not connecting with those butterball turkeys. He is not connecting with a dead corpse. He's not...

He's not like, I'm never gonna get over those turkeys y'all in case y'all haven't figured that out. he's not, you're not a connection. It's another coercion. It's another manipulative tactic that men use to get you to have sex with them. Any man who, you tell your husband or your baby daddy or whoever, if you tell them, I'm just gonna lay here. I'm not really into it. And you just stare at the ceiling and blow hard and like, you know, and all of that, like how I was doing.

turn them off and they're not turned off. That's a problem. Because please know what you're going to know in that moment what type of man you're married to or that you're in a relationship with because he doesn't care about your pleasure, which women already complain about this to begin with about how men are just any for themselves. Yeah. And so it's like, he's showing you that he doesn't even care. He's just using your body. That is such a problem. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Even though you've given so-called consent, it's really not consent because you don't really want it. And if he's not recognizing that, which they know, just like Lisa said, they know when you're uncomfortable and they do it anyway, you're married to a sociopath or you're in a relationship with a sociopath, They can tell ladies seriously, do not let a man ever be like, I don't know. Like they know. know.

They actually, target, they target women based on how low they think your self-esteem is to begin with. Or if you're vulnerable, they can pick up on that. can, they're predators. They can sense that the same way in a, absolutely, absolutely. Same thing. Same exact thing. It's their nature. They have had to survive. So they've sharpened those skills. where they know who to go after and who to target. So they are already approaching you from whatever angle that they have anyway.

So don't be fooled and believe that they don't know and they can't tell that you're not uncomfortable. Like they absolutely know. And don't forget, ladies, about the skills that you have developed, which is your intuition. So like to sovereign's point, your body will know before you do. Your body will kind of like you will feel uncomfortable.

You have to learn to recognize those signs within yourself because that is trying to keep you safe from somebody who is honed in to be a predator towards you I know how else to explain it, but yeah, a lot of men like go to bars or like this is why all your male friends come out of the woodwork when you break up with a boyfriend or you get a divorce or whatever. And then they come out and be like, let me comfort you with my dick.

Like no, you know, because they think dick in hand, cause they think you're gonna be, they think you're gonna be vulnerable and receptive to that. And it's like, how do you... to cry on because of dick to ride on. That's literally what they say to each other. that is literally it. No, that's so true. That is so, that is crazy work. another thing a lot of women are, absolutely. I've heard that a lot.

But that's another way that women can pay attention to those type of friends you have too, because they're all gonna come after you. Most of them are all predators. So when your friends, like she said, come out the woodworks, uh it's because they think you're vulnerable. Now this is their shot. It has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with you're so incredible and wonderful, which I'm pretty sure you are as a woman. Of course. not from their lens. They're not looking at it that way.

They're looking at, how can I get her body? How can I get her free labor? Whatever it is they want from you. So as women go on this journey to figure out themselves and understanding consent better and understanding the patriarchy and all of that, you are absolutely going to come to the realization that you don't really have any real male friends, that most men are just out to get you based on what they want. And this is going to be a higher pill to swallow.

And I know a lot of women are going to want to recoil from, is that the right word I'm looking for? A lot of women are going to want to say, no, maybe I'm tripping. No, if I'll, dang, if my phone is going to be dry, you know, or, women are going to feel like if, yeah, not my friends, uh or my phone is going to be dry, or you're going to feel like before you felt you got backup plans. I got men lined up that want me.

But once you realize the reason why they actually want you and it's not for you at all, it's like they're sitting by waiting on their turn and it has nothing, and they will have sex with you whether you're uncomfortable or not. Once you start piecing all of this together, you're gonna find that, wow, you really don't have as many male friends as you thought. Or you're gonna start learning the nature of men and it's gonna be a lonely journey at first.

You you're gonna start to feel, and I think... I think a lot of women start realizing that and that's why they pull back instead of continuing on with that journey. And they stay pick me's and they stay in this sense that because it's a lot easier because you just don't want to believe we live in a world where most men don't have your best interests at heart, which unfortunately we live in a world where most men don't have your best interests at heart.

The sooner you realize that in your life, the better off you're going to be. The more you fight against it or ignore it. or don't see it on purpose or don't see it because you just don't see it, the more harm you're going to face in your life. Yes.

I wanted to circle back to what I was saying earlier that I had a message for young women. There is a thing that, you know, boys and men have been doing since, I guess, time immemorial, but I wasn't aware of this and I didn't know that this was a thing. But men will say like, but you're going to give me blue balls and like it hurts. It hurts so much. Women don't know that that's not a thing, that that does not exist. So like anatomically... you shouldn't fucking care.

You shouldn't fucking care, even if it was, okay? Yeah, like okay. Yeah, because it's like well you hurt my feelings So I guess we both ain't shit like we were both hurt you're hurt physically I'm hurt emotionally, but I digress and so like once that clicked for me There have been so many instances where guys have tried using that shit on me and I was like little I was like, you know a teenager or like baby early 20s

And so I just want to specifically if it applies to you and applies to you Don't let a man ever gaslight you and be like my balls hurt my blue balls. Like just say blue labels. I have blue labia Throw that back out there. Like, throw that back in their face and see how well- no, now they're about to really fucking hurt because I'm about to like, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Kick you in the balls and then we're going to see what really hurts because when you kick men in the balls, like they're doubled over. So unless they're like doubled over crying, screaming, throwing up, like they don't have any blue balls. They don't have any blue balls. And yeah. And if they are doing that, yeah, they're probably faking it, honestly.

when I was in seventh grade, I think I told this story before, but I remember when I was in seventh grade, there was this fine, ooh, he was so fine, and he was new. We were like halfway through the school year and he came, you know how that is, when somebody new comes in, everybody takes notice, yeah. somehow he became my boyfriend. I don't know how it happened, and I was very like, Tall and awkward when I was in middle school.

Like, you know, was taller than everybody and I was like super, I'm still skinny, but I was like super skinny. And you know, so everybody was like, that's her man. How, how she get him, you know? And I don't, to this day, I still don't know how, but he honed in on me. I honed in on him, whatever. And I was still a virgin, but he clearly wasn't. And um I found that out the hard way cause he was, you know, trying to have sex with me one day. And I was like, I'm not ready.

I was into kissing him and hugging him and laying on his chest and all that stuff. I was cool with all that. But I was like, I'm not finna, I was in the seventh grade. Like I'm not doing, you know what I mean? Like what? flat out said, well, you know, there's plenty of girls around here that will give it to me if I want And in that moment, I was like, damn, that's fucked up.

But I was like, well, I don't, Don't ask me how I had this confidence in myself or this presence of mind to disregard it, even though it hurt for a second. I was like, well, I guess you just gotta go make those other girls your girlfriend. And I had to be 12 or 13 at the time. Yeah, however old I was in the seventh grade.

And so... um I never forgot that because it made me so when, when women are in situations where they feel they're not really ready to consent, they probably will because they're afraid that the man is not going to like them anymore. The man is going to break up with them or you know, whatever. Just know he flat out told me y'all. So, and that was, I think that might've had something to do with my reaction. because he didn't try to lie or try to sugar coat it.

Well, I'll wait on you, you know, or whatever. He didn't do that. And he was like, look, this is how I was going to be. And so my mind was, okay, well then let it be that then. And then we broke up and years later, I actually ran into him, I want to say three years ago. We were both uh at this place getting our cars fixed and I saw him and he saw me He was like, I never forgot you used to sing to me and blah, blah, blah. And so we, you know, we're grown now. This was a long time ago.

We had the conversation and he was like, you know, I was just a horn dog back then and blah, blah, blah. He said, I still am, I said all that to say. that you can really like a guy. And there are women who will allow themselves to be coerced because they think, if I don't, then I'm going to lose the relationship or he's going to go find it somewhere else. And I'm saying, let them because if, and I know it might hurt, it might cause it hurt me for a second. Yeah. And that's exactly it.

But he, I was very grateful that he was just honest in that moment. Like, I'm just going to go find somebody else. But when they do that, they're trying to coerce you. Don't fall for any man who would do that is not a good guy. He's not a good dude.

Please, please have that in your mind. Do not forget that. You don't want this man in your life. practically like, okay, so say you do, do that thing. But it's like, now you've done that with a guy who is like, anytime you don't wanna give it to, like that's your prize. right, is a man who's gonna continuously now coerce you because he knows it worked the first time. So you just have to become the kind of woman that coercion just does not work on, right?

Like, I hate to say that some men will still take it further physically and they won't listen to your words. And that's, you know, that's again, that's a societal problem. Cause we don't care about what happens to women up until they get killed. Right? We don't care about the abuse, the rape, nothing, the unconsensual, all this stuff. But we care when a woman gets killed because then she's a perfect victim. Now, finally, she's the only perfect victim.

Female victim is a dead one, a dead one for real, because they did not care about, you know, with Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. They did not care that he was like literally Gabby Petito. Right. The cops pulled right up on them and they thought that she was the abuser. They put him up in the hotel.

yeah because the man was calm and collected and it's like that's the abuser the calm and collected one is the abuser always you know with Johnny Depp people read all those text messages where he talked about drowning Amber Heard and like you know desecrating her corpse and stuff and they were like yes this an innocent man that was abused by a woman can now come forward and it's like he's a sociopath He's a fucking sociopath. She never even called him out by name.

And he said, that was me, but I didn't do it. Like, that's crazy. All we're just, you know, over here defending this man. And I think it's also why, like, men will rail so hard against, like, quote unquote, blue haired feminists or like women that are not, you know, men will be like, you know, men don't like that kind of stuff. It's because they're so entitled to our consent and to us being something that they can like. look at and be turned on sexually.

Like they just think that women owe them a certain type of presence and like, men don't like short hair. I don't give a fuck. Men don't like, you know, blue hair. I don't give a fuck. You know what I mean? And it's like even women who look like conventionally attractive, like can still hate men. Like, I don't really know what the blue hair has anything to do with it, but men are so entitled to like living in the comfort of the male gaze.

Like, They just want all women to walk around being like feminine, submissive, having long hair, wearing like uncomfortable clothing, wearing heels. All of that is part of this like non-consensual pipeline. please, know, like women need to start taking up more space if anything, you know, because men feel so entitled to us being small and manageable and coercible. that it comes down to just putting women in danger just to get their way because they're like, no, I'm entitled to this.

I'm owed this and I will pry it out of your hands, out of your body. It's so scary and it's so disturbing and it's why a lot of women, even married ones, content creators in this space will just be like, just knowing the odds, just don't, just don't do it. It's a very calculated risk, every time regardless.

It is. And I even think about like the lingerie industry, you know, and like how we give in to men's fantasies, no matter how depraved they are, you know, and we've normalized it. It's just like, you know, when I can't remember who it was, but somebody was talking about her husband having a fantasy of her wearing a schoolgirl outfit, dressing up with the pigtails and the Like a child. yeah, like a child.

And she said she didn't like it and she was uncomfortable, but it was her husband, so she had to do what he said because this makes him happy. And it just goes to show how we will. Like that's the man you want to keep? Like what? the most depraved things just to keep somebody. it's just like, you know what I mean? And there's nothing wrong with wearing lingerie. There's nothing wrong with role playing and all that.

It's just a point that we are doing it we've been programmed to say this is what men like, this is what men want. it's like, you know, and then we get to a point where we might like it. Cause I like to... dress up and be sexy or whatever, but it's still under patriarchy. Like everything we do is like under patriarchal, whether we realize it or not. It's like, who came up with this? Who said it was... There is. No, there is lingerie for men. The gray sweatpants. Oh. The great sweatpants.

I almost forgot. You know what? But I was going to say that like they also aren't even the ones out here like taking like these classes about how to like... you Yeah, that's my male identity, but you know. But yeah. these how to please a female body better and The amount of work that women do to please men, we're doing these twerking classes, we're doing these exotic dance classes, we're doing these, I guess.

I've seen this go around on Twitter, I don't know if it's a real thing, this just what I saw, but this room of women learning how to give oral, there would be a woman there with a cucumber with a condom on it and she's like, seen that. Yeah, I've seen that. Which is crazy. I seen it on Facebook some years ago. and like how to like actually, you know, please a woman. There's none of that. None of that. Too much to where we're doing too much.

seriously, like if a man is having sex with you and it's not about your pleasure first and foremost, I'm sorry, but that why are you there? Why are you there? um It's just, um it's cringy, yeah. there was another one. It might have been the same woman or a different woman that was teaching women how to ride. And I'm like, shouldn't that come naturally? don't, don't, how are you learning how to, y'all. I see stuff like that and I just so annoyed or wife school.

Like nobody's teaching the men how to do anything, how to find a fucking clitoris, you know, without mistaking your thigh for it. Like they're literally like rubbing on whatever. Yeah. do y'all think will make more money? A woman teaching women how to please a man or a woman teaching men how to please women? Right. I would want to find out which one is more lucrative. Well, because men don't care about pleasing women. That's the thing. It's like they won't sign up for it.

know, women are the only ones that are so dickmatized and brainwashed that they're like, yeah, I need to suck it better. I need to write it better. Like, dude, he's lucky you're in his vicinity. Like, what do you mean? Like he had to ask 100 women out before your dumbass said yes. Like, what do you mean? And now you're like worried about like his dick. Like, who cares? of that's going to matter because if a man wants to cheat on you, he's still going to like none of that matters.

That's why it's so cringy because like y'all going through all of this, jumping through all these hoops, bending yourself into 12 pretzels for what? For a man who doesn't even take the time to find out where your clit is.

He doesn't even take the time to even learn like what, what your spot is and what gets you going. He doesn't even care. He's just ready to dive in. Yeah, exactly. of this consent problem too. That is part of the consent problem. If a man is not like worried about getting you off, if it's not like a priority, if it's not like as important and as happening as often as like his little stuff, then what is the point for you? Like, why is he even there? You know what I mean?

Like you can just use a toy. mm-hmm. There is that correlation in the orgasm gap between, you know, know how like porn ends after the man does what's called like the money shot, but there's none of that for us. Like women don't get what's called like a money shot or whatever. That contributes to that whole orgasm gap because sex only ends after he's got his and like you're just left there. his and he doesn't care if you had to hang from a chandelier upside down, you know what I mean?

He doesn't care if you had to get into like, yes, like 189 different positions like no, as long as he finishes. But then they'll be like, well, it's just an unreasonable expectation. It's just so hard. Every woman's different. What the fuck? You mean like every man is the same? Yeah Every man is the same. No, every man is addicted to a different type of porn or every man is like has a different kind of death grip that you got to try to learn to imitate. Like that's disgusting.

another reason why I be so quick to say that man don't love her. That man don't love you. He don't even care. He doesn't even care to learn anything about what you like, what you don't And so I just hate that women are so easily willing to give their consent, even when it's coerced or when you're giving it to a man that doesn't even care. anything about your pleasure. Anything about, does he even know how you like your eggs cooked in the morning? Does he even know what your favorite color is?

They don't care about any of this. And you're just sitting there wondering like, oh, if I don't give him what he wants, then he's not gonna like me. He already doesn't like you. He already don't like you. He don't give a fuck about you. Like that's literally that's it. He already doesn't like you.

blame a lot of those old teen magazines for that shit, or Cosmopolitan, or Teen Beat Tiger Pop, or whatever, where they were telling women that if it's so good, he's not gonna wanna leave you, if it's be so desirable that, yeah, get him to stay, and all that shit. it's just like, they see, I don't know. Mm-hmm. How to get him to only have eyes for you and all this other stuff. Like I remember those magazines and I always thought like, why do we like, I didn't, didn't know it was a patriarch.

I didn't know what that was back then, but I knew something was wrong with that. Like I knew something. I'm like, why do we gotta do all, like why is it us that gotta do all of this? there's no like, you know, Rolling Stone magazine or like a man, a man's magazine. And I don't know if Rolling Stone is a man's I'm just using an example, but like there are no like men's magazines that teach men how to please a woman. None of those types of articles, how to keep a woman, how to be a good husband.

None of that. Because God forbid that we be entitled to sexual pleasure, right? Because once again, this is what entitles men to sexual pleasure. They're like, well, women have all of these things that tell them how to suck a dick properly, you know? And it's like, yeah, well, men don't. And that's why it's like, why are we even having sex with y'all?

remember even seeing, I remember even reading articles in Cosmopolitan and all those, showing women the positions that you need to be in in order to get an O. It's still taking the responsibility off of the man and saying, you can get out and you can do reverse cowgirl and arch your back this way and twist and turn that way and then you'll be able to, it's like the men are still getting, they have no responsibility.

Like you still have to twist yourself into pretzels in order to get your own organ, which is fine. I mean, but it was just a point that it's even in that case, they were saying that the men, we were supposed to, yeah, they're helpless and we are supposed to do every fucking thing, everything. like a man a man I repeat a man like the thing that yells at you from across the street Okay, the butterball turkeys the turkeys.

Okay That is what you're fighting for you're over here bending yourself into a pretzel for that for a man who literally is like, you know trap. Sorry. But yeah, like literally doing the swings from... Mm-hmm. Yeah. Is the hidden part of this all is that a man is a prize.

Like we devalue women by putting men on the prize pedestal and saying that this is what it takes to keep a man. What does it take to keep a woman? You know, like what does it take to get a woman off? Men don't know and they don't care. So ladies, it's time to start acting the same way. Yeah. like, you know, women have more opportunities to like cheat and leave a man than men do, because like women always get like approached by men whether we want it or not.

And so like there's always these like, you know, micro, micro opportunities to like do some crazy shit if we wanted to, if we really, really wanted to. But there's nothing that, you know, teaches men that like, you know, she's, you know, a woman and she's has wandering eyes and you know, you should really learn how to keep a woman because you know, all these other men are going to be better than you are. These are the men are, When that's true, yeah. yes. Nobody cares, yeah.

never on men to like, And it's like, even if like other men are taught, you know, to be competent, like, cause they deep down know that they are competing with other men, or that's what they think. When they, you know, try to get a woman's attention, they think that their competition is other men.

So in that logic, you would think that, you know, there would be a lot more, spaces or a lot more things teaching men how to keep a woman, how to get a woman's attention, how to do this, how to do that. But in ways that like, guess, not our, know, car salesman-y about it or like, you manipulative about it or, you know, these like podcast bros that teach men how to, be coercive and like how to... into submission. Yeah, for sure.

man that is actually, man that actually is the prize sees you as the prize and he would never call himself the prize. Any man who calls himself the prize is automatically trash. So just save yourselves the drama. If he thinks he's the prize, that means he's gonna devalue you. And the last thing you want is to be dealing with a man in a relationship, married or whatever, with a man who thinks he's better than you. Like he's more of a prize than you.

Why would you ever want to be with somebody like that? But men who are actually good, decent men would never ever say, I'm the prize. Like that's just not in their vocabulary. It's not. And they just don't think that way because they see the value in women. They would always say a woman is and not them. And that's a perfect note right there to wrap this up on. Thank you, ladies. I think those were like really good closing thoughts on both of your parts.

As always, let us know what you all think in the comments. We know you will, regardless of uh if we ask you or not. So let us know what you think. Let us know, you know, your experiences, whatever you want to share. But, moving forward, please just remember that Amanda's not a prize and um that you are in no way like as a woman. obligated.

Obligated exactly like no matter what society says no matter what it is you are a human being just the same you know and the only people that are not acting like human beings is people that want you to put your needs your safety your priorities aside for the pleasure of their peepee that's inhumane right and that's why they're out here doing stuff to turkeys because it's all about their peepee so don't don't you be all about their peepee either okay We love you ladies.

We'll be right back with the mailbag. All right.

And we're back guys. So today we have a mailbag and this one is kind of a tough one. So let's read it and see what, see what we got. So, Hey Audaci-Tea team, I love your content. Thank you for bringing all of your insights into this podcast. I would like to recommend a topic of discussion, misogyny and gay men. As a newly out queer woman, I latched onto LGBTQ clubs and bars only to discover that most of them are made up of gay men.

Wanted to be a part of a community, I still showed up and did my part in supporting the local scene. Thankfully, I also quickly became a part of several friend groups and formed a lot of great memories I'll always cherish. However, I am officially burnt out. Of course, this is not about all gay men, but so many ringleaders of groups uh came with so much misogynistic and outright narcissistic baggage.

There are three men in particular who were just as toxic, if not worse, than the straight men I previously dated when I was closeted. I thought I was set free after I decentered men, but it turns out that I did not get that far. Though they did not know one another, the three men all followed the same pattern. Invited me to be part of their friend group, but then attached to me like I'm their partner. They wanted me to be at all of the outings with them, front and center.

I found the attention flattering at first, as I felt very included. But the moment I didn't show up for whatever reason, they would get mad. I've had my phone blown up when I genuinely couldn't get to it for two hours. I've been accused of ignoring them or growing distant when one of them literally said this. I was even expected to pose on the arm of one of them during a group photo shoot while his husband just watched. All of it was very unsettling and confused me a lot.

I could not understand why they acted like the straight men who pursued me before. After a lot of processing and further observations of their actions, I came to the conclusion that they were misogynistic. Despite having no interest in me as a partner, neither romantic nor sexual, they exhibited the same patterns as straight men because they viewed me as an object of other desires. They wanted me around because their goal was to exploit my conventional attractiveness and extroverted personality.

It amazes me how misogyny knows no bounds. Straight, gay, bi men are socialized the same way and will adhere to patriarchal systems unless they do their part to deconstruct. Mm-hmm.

Absolutely. Yeah, I concur because I think... is kind of within the question but yes she nailed it I do think that even if you are gay, still kind of, as a gay man, you still kind of grow up with these socializations of men around you or, because maybe for a while you didn't come out and so you still grow up with these same, you grow up with hearing the same things as straight men or the same socialization as straight men got more or less. But I'm just, speaking as a straight woman so.

You're still a man. You just have a different sexual preference. Like your mind, your mind is still, you're still a full fledged man, but you just, your sexual preference is just not the norm or it is a norm. But you know what I mean? It's not considered what they would say was normal. That's it. That's the only difference. she did answer her own question. It's going to be misogyny no matter what. even amongst women. A lot of women have a lot of internalized misogyny. It's the same, yeah.

the same phenomenon as like male centered women. if anything, it's probably more common because you know, lot of, I have a gay friend and he always talks about like the misogyny is rampant in that a lot of men will be like, mask for mask. Like they're like, they don't want the femme gay men. They don't want. you know, they're misogynistic in that they don't want to be seen with somebody who has feminine qualities or is not afraid of their own feminine qualities, right?

It's not like men get these feminine qualities from women. We all have them, right? It's just that most men cut their supply off to their quote unquote feminine side, whatever you want to call it, they just cut off the oxygen supply to certain things like emotions, like you know, self care, like self love, all those things, they cut off the supply and then they act like they don't have that side. And they're like, no, I'm just a normal guy. I'm just a normal guy looking for another normal guy.

And it's like, no, you're just misogynistic. Like, you know, the fact that you would never want to be seen with somebody who is femme, it's like. Yeah, it's like you you're not just like. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And there's nothing wrong with like. preferences, right? But it's like, even gay men can spot it that like, a lot of this is just misogyny, because whenever you know, because it's not just about the anatomy that you enjoy, you also enjoy other aspects of the presentation, right?

Because if it was about anatomy, then who cares? Who cares how a man is presenting? Who cares how another gay man is acting or presenting themselves. But it's not about that. It's about being able to hold on to your your privileged status as a man's man. That's what it's about. Another thing I would suggest is that maybe find some different types of gay men friends because they're not all like that.

I grew up with quite a few gay guys that were, I wasn't going to say they're more like women, but they've done the deconstructing, I would say. You know I'm saying? And so they understand the part they play. having a misogynistic mindset and they see women as people. So that's the bottom line. Get some gay male friends who see women as people. That's your best bet.

Because, you know, this whatever was going on at these clubs, whatever, they sound like a nightmare to be around, whether they're gay, straight, bi, whatever. gay men who absolutely see women as human, who treat everybody with respect, who have undone the misogynistic shit and all that. They've done the work. They fucking exist. I promise you they do. You just have to find them. And probably hanging out at gay bars and stuff is probably not necessarily the best place to find them.

um When you find them, maybe you all can get together and go to the bar as friends, but you already have your friends established. But I wouldn't I wouldn't recommend finding them there. That's just my own personal opinion. um Join a book club. don't know, something something productive, something that. you will find that those men still bond over misogyny. You know, they do, they do. just, um it's packaged differently. It's not like, yeah.

But it's more like, calling people bitches, like, you know, saying stuff like, you know, being catty, but then, yeah, yes. outfit and they'll just like tear you down for that. Or like they look at these like, uh these kind of like fashion... What's that? you because they ain't you. You have those. You just got to find. It's hard, but you got to wade through and find the ones that see you as human. that's. affected by misogyny.

That's why we get also a lot of questions about how do I spot male centered women? Like how do I get away from like male centered women? It's because like everything through and through and through like more people than not in any environment that you go to right more people than not will be misogynistic will just not like women because that's what we're all taught to do. We're taught to not like women. We're taught to be like, that's girly. that's stupid.

Are you crying like a girl or are you going to put on makeup? Are you going to go do your nails like all that kind of stuff? Yeah, you're emotional. You're so sensitive. Are you on your period? Exactly. And so gay men will use, you know, some gay men will use those kinds of insults against each other. And it's like, how do you not see that that's misogyny? Like, that's crazy. was gonna say, types too, by the way.

like the ones that say those types of things, they are typically jealous of women in general and they really want to be you and they're mad that they can't be. Stay away from those types. I'm telling y'all, find the gay guys that are like, they see you as human. Like that's really, once they see you as human, everything else falls into place. You know, some that are, They're smart, they're educated with this stuff over here. They want to include people, they care.

You know, they care for animals, whatever. I don't know. You can find them somewhere, but just not in the classic misogynistic places like clubs and bars and, you know, where they go to exploit each other. Just, they exist. yeah, and I was gonna say lot of uh women who are still kind of male centered and they have all these gay friends, they often just give them a pass to act misogynistic and crazy.

And so a lot of these gay men, you know, continue to go throughout their lives not getting checked by these women that they should be getting checked by when they say misogynistic or crazy things. Yeah, they're enabled. They're enabled by, you know, women who still are very male-centered with a male gaze and they prioritize having a male gay best friend and that is above everything else.

So I just think that it comes from that kind of place as well where too many women are not checking gay men for saying misogynistic or crazy shit and I think if more women were able to stand up to them and just be like, hey, whatever you just said, that's not cool or please don't tear that woman down. And I just think that there's a level of accountability that needs to be had with m with us as women whenever we hang out with gay men or in these gay spaces. I agree.

And it's not always safe and you just have to realize that as a feminist, you know, awakened woman, most of your life is going to be spent vetting and then cutting people out of your life. Like that is the hardest, you know, advice to have to give. But having lived it, it's like you're going to end up with like three friends if you're very lucky, if you're very, very lucky. And most of your, you know, allies and supporters will be other women.

in the feminist spaces and honestly I would have felt a lot more comfortable and confident saying that a couple months ago than I do now because also those women will like be weird and turn on you and will start pointing fingers because you're not feminist enough etc like that does happen too and so even those women need to be vetted and cut out of your life if they're gonna act like that because it's only so far that we can go saying well

guys have bro code and women need to support women and stuff like that. it's like most of your life as an awakened feminist woman, you're going to just be cutting people out. You're going to realize how actually how unsafe you are in this world. And like how few people actually wanna see you thriving. People that call themselves your friends, your lovers, your boyfriends, whatever, they don't wanna see you thrive at the end of the day, only when it's convenient for them.

When it stops being inconvenient, when it stops being convenient for them, they will just let you go, or like they will just start abusing you. That is what it is, to get what they want. So. It is a very pervasive problem. And that's what I've realized, like as the more women we've had writing in about male centered women, about the LGBTQ community, especially men in that community, it's very disheartening. And that is just the facts of life.

You just made me think of a recommendation when you said uh women are going to spend a lot of their times cutting people off in their life. The art of detachment. I recommend that people read into that. like, you know, a lot of people run from that because they're like, detachment, we're social creatures. We're supposed to all be one. And, you know, we're not meant to travel this world alone. And it's like, I never believe that.

I do believe we're social creatures, but it doesn't mean that you have to shackle yourself to people. at the end of the day, we came into this world by yourself. You're leaving by yourself, regardless to how you want to look at it. And so I'm just one of those people that's really big on detaching yourself from the outcomes or other people's... You can't control other people. So don't... Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

brain or the way you think or your decisions to other people because you have no control over what other people do at all. You can think you do, but you're going to drive yourself crazy trying. But you're never going to have control over someone else. And so that's the part that I think a lot of a lot of people, they run from that, especially on my channel when I have these topics about being an introvert and how I'm like. not as attached to people.

said, that sounds so sad and it sounds like a lonely life. And it's like, no, you're going to have to come to this realization whether you like it or not, sooner or later. You're not leaving. Nobody's getting out alive. And you're not leaving with anybody anyway. Otherwise you're living in delusion and exposing yourself to dangerous people. So yes, that's a really good recommendation. That's just the truth. Yeah. own safety, sanity. mean, people you cannot, you cannot control other people. OK?

No matter what you do. Yes. Absolutely. Perfect.

right. Let's read these poll results. Thank you sovereign so last week we spoke about the Diddy case and how that was most of the charges were dismissed question was when powerful men face serious abuse allegations against women and still walk away mostly unscathed It makes me feel a exhausted it's another reminder that the system was never built to protect us b numb i'm so used to this by now i barely react anymore c furious i'm tired of

seeing women hurt while powerful men get a pass and d afraid if this is what happens publicly what hope do the rest of us have gosh all of the above needs to be an option because yeah this is fucking dark of them. I think I'm more so detached because I'm burnt out on it. think that's, yeah, no, that's the word. I think I'm more so numb to it, unfortunately. Me too. Right.

that, you know, instead of just laying down and accepting defeat, I think we should be rallying behind our collective feelings of oppression and sadness and anger and fear and all these like emotions that we're feeling as women, we should be coming together. That was that's going to be in my blog or that was going to be the message I wanted to like put out there, though. But. we should do that, but stop when it starts to be detrimental to your mental health. Yeah, absolutely.

And I think it's also like we're not considering the fact that during, for example, like my generation or during like the time that I've been alive, we have had like rights taken away. Like we went from like getting more and more rights as women to all of a sudden, like we're slowly making a U-turn, you know, and it that feels really unsettling. Like you're like, wait, so. It's not just a forward progress all the time. It's not like things are just going to keep getting better.

It's like things have the potential to get worse at any point in time. So a lot of women, the answers were torn between exhausted and furious.

And it's like, so I know that that's what we're all feeling and then feeling like tired and numb and like, you know, all of that is just the products of these these two things like numb and afraid as a product of feeling exhausted and furious the boat all of those things are justified because we're watching the patriarchy patriarchy we're watching it like turn against us you know every single day

and yeah it is very very upsetting so please stay safe out there please check out gwen's blogs she's going to be posting a blog about You know, where where are we currently? Well, actually, Gwen, do you want to kind of advertise it so I don't butcher what? I originally was gonna, you know, pay wallet, but I'm gonna make it free. So if you just like hop onto our Patreon, it's gonna be pinned at the top and it's gonna be free for you to read.

So our VIP of course will have early access to it just because like it's that VIP status that anyways, so it's just uh a message that I just, think women should take to heart that instead of us, you know, fighting with each other and you know, putting this on this like impossible standards type of pedestal. We should just be rallying around this collective sadness and anger and fear that we feel towards the patriarchy, patriarchy, and um putting that action towards restoring Ro.

I think that's just what needs to happen because if without Ro, we are so scattered, we are so lost, we are stumbling in the dark looking for things. been going downhill since.

Yeah. Yeah. And because more and more things are just gonna be returned back to the states and the states will always almost always rule against us So I think having Roe was that bit of protection that protected all these other laws from being returned back to the states So things like gay marriage things like interracial marriage are all now also going to be on the chopping block along with birth control and along with Marital rape or things that were originally.

Yeah, no fault of course and things like that all these things that would was originally protected kind of under Rho because under Rho there was this bit of uh interpretation of it that it's a federal protection and now without Rho there is no federal protection. these, mm-hmm, yes. So, yep, that these are all things that are coming. And I hate to be an alarmist about it but I just, seeing what I've seen, think I'm, it's all but, it's a win, uh if.

been saying this since last year too, especially oh after what really since Ro fell. I'm like, well, y'all know this is just the beginning. oh no, that's never gonna happen. Well, did nobody think this was gonna happen, but here we are. I know, right? I'm not paying attention. and I know you're going to read this blog and I know you're going to see where I'm coming from and you're going to be solution oriented about this instead of whatever the fuck that's been going on.

That's my hope anyway, so help me help me think of some ways we can restore Ro because I really want to see this action forward. Mm-hmm. All right. Well, thank you ladies. Once again, stay safe out there and we love you all. Check out the socials. Follow us anywhere that you want to follow us and definitely make sure you check out the Patreon and check out Gwen's blog. See you next time. Bye. Bye.