Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: As a "nice guy," how do you let go of an ex -- who attempted suicide when your relationship ended -- without feeling heartless? Listener feedback for Nouveau Tech (from FMF 119) about how to respond next time the opportunistic entrepreneur ex makes contact. Listener Sweet Cheeks weighs in on what she does when male coworkers dismiss h...
Jul 07, 2017•36 min
Chase Hughes (@thechasehughes) teaches interrogation and behavior science on a tactical level for the US military, created The Behavioral Table of the Elements for behavior analysis in interrogations, and is the author of The Ellipsis Manual: Analysis and Engineering of Human Behavior. "Instead of trying to figure out what a person's good at, try to figure out what they want to be seen as being good at and you'll get ten times the results." -Chase Hughes The Cheat Sheet: What is the Behavioral T...
Jul 06, 2017•1 hr 5 min
Aaron Walker (@VFTCoach) has almost four decades of successful entrepreneurship under his belt; he rejoins us to talk about his new book, View From the Top: Living a Life of Significance. "I'm always looking for a way to make it happen, not excuses why it won't work." -Aaron Walker The Cheat Sheet: Aaron grew up with nothing; discover what significant mindset shifts along the way changed his own results. Understand why we should fear missing opportunity more than we should fear failure. The impo...
Jul 04, 2017•51 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Vanessa Van Edwards (check out our full episode with her here) rejoins us to talk about value languages -- the motivations we have for entering into relationships with each other. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Ever wondered how to hack motivation? It begins by understanding what people really want out of a relationship. If...
Jul 03, 2017•9 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is the clock ticking on your window for big adventures? Consider mini-retirements. How do you tell your conservative religious family that maybe you've decided to go a different way -- especially when being disowned is a possibility? Is there a cure for 21st century millennial loneliness? Is there a cognitive differen...
Jun 30, 2017•36 min
Timothy Snyder (@TimothyDSnyder) is the Housum Professor of History at Yale University and author of Black Earth: The Holocaust as History and Warning and On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century. "Americans are no wiser than the Europeans who saw democracy yield to fascism, Nazism, and communism. Our one advantage is that we might learn from their experience." -Timothy Snyder The Cheat Sheet: Democracy has to be an ongoing activity -- not a waiting game for the next election cycle....
Jun 27, 2017•54 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This week, we're taking a little friendship audit to determine if we're hanging out with people by default or if we're actually enriching each other by association. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Personal development giant Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people with whom we spend the most time. Ho...
Jun 26, 2017•8 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How much eye contact is just right? How do you spend meaningful time with friends before going away for a long time? Have you tried the StoryCorps app? (From listener feedback -- not an advertisement!) Is selling insurance the right job for someone who's "too nice?" Can you handle more than one life crossroads at a ti...
Jun 23, 2017•24 min
Brian Brushwood (@shwood) has spent the last twenty years performing onstage, on TV, and on the Internet, entertaining and teaching people how to harness the deceptive (and self-deceptive) skills of scientists, spies, criminals, and con artists. "The moment a magician says, 'Now we begin,' you're already screwed!" -Brian Brushwood The Cheat Sheet: Why being interesting isn't a gift -- it's a practice. Fixed action patterns and how they help us get others to do what we want them to do. (Important...
Jun 22, 2017•1 hr
David Buss (@ProfDavidBuss) is a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. He is considered the world's leading scientific expert on strategies of human mating, and his most recent book is -- appropriately enough -- The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. The Cheat Sheet: Why does mating matter? The mating crisis among educated women. How to select a good long-term mate. What leads to mating disasters. What we can do to become better long-term mates. And so much ...
Jun 20, 2017•1 hr 4 min
Commander Chris Hadfield (check out our full episode with him here) was the first Canadian to walk in space, but the experience went far from smoothly. In this Minisode Monday, he explains how he went temporarily blind but still managed to finish the task before him -- and what we on Earth might learn from his ordeal. The Cheat Sheet: Humans didn't evolve in zero gravity; you can never overtrain for life in orbit. If you can't navigate to the bathroom in the middle of the night, imagine trying t...
Jun 19, 2017•7 min
Norm Pattiz (@PodcastOne) is a legendary broadcasting entrepreneur who founded radio syndication company Westwood One in the '70s and the PodcastOne network in 2013. He's a member of the National Radio Hall of Fame and one of the most successful and influential businessmen in Los Angeles. "If you don't know the rules, you can't be limited by them." -Norm Pattiz The Cheat Sheet: Success often depends on spotting opportunity in adversity -- Norm knows this better than most. Discover what modern po...
Jun 18, 2017•56 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: Does resolving simulations in your head keep you up in the middle of the night? Now that you're doing well for yourself, is it petty to be reluctant about helping an ex who treated you poorly when you weren't? After moving to a new town, where can you meet people during the day if you want to cut back on the excesses of nightlife? How...
Jun 16, 2017•32 min
Adam Braun (@AdamBraun) is the founder of school-building Pencils of Promise and bestselling author of The Promise of a Pencil. He joins us to discuss his new project, MissionU, and how it aims to update higher education for the 21st century. "Credential isn't nearly as important as competency." -Adam Braun The Cheat Sheet: How and why is the education system in the US failing students? Why students are even less prepared for careers now than ever before. How MissionU protects its students from ...
Jun 15, 2017•51 min
Chris Hadfield (@Cmdr_Hadfield) is an engineer, former Royal Canadian Air Force fighter pilot, retired astronaut, the first Canadian to walk in space, and author of An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth and The Darkest Dark. "The big decisions are the easy ones." -Commander Chris Hadfield The Cheat Sheet: The difference between "I want to be" and "I want to turn myself into." Enjoying small victories along a path of preparation and personal growth vs. grand "make it or break it" expectations. Ho...
Jun 13, 2017•1 hr 9 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we show how making a small change in how we treat people we meet promotes a mindset shift in the way we're perceived and the way we perceive ourselves. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Take the extra effort to treat everyone you meet as if you're going to know each other forever. Think about it: if you're in...
Jun 12, 2017•7 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you overcome the need for external validation in a good relationship that's suffering from the fallout of past bad relationships? What's the best way to prepare for the death of a terminally ill loved one when you've still got a little time to spend with them and basic 21st century technology? A ten-year podcas...
Jun 09, 2017•29 min
Nick Bilton (@nickbilton) is a special correspondent for Vanity Fair, a contributor to CNBC, a former columnist and reporter for The New York Times, and author of Hatching Twitter: A True Story of Money, Power, Friendship, and Betrayal and American Kingpin: The Epic Hunt for the Criminal Mastermind Behind the Silk Road. "I don't believe we have crossed the line. I think we've just moved it." -Ross Ulbricht The Cheat Sheet: How does a merit badge-bedecked Eagle Scout become the head of a thriving...
Jun 08, 2017•44 min
Dean Karnazes (@DeanKarnazes) may be most famous for running fifty marathons in fifty states in fifty days, but he's also a bestselling author who most recently published The Road to Sparta: Reliving the Ancient Battle and Epic Run That Inspired the World's Greatest Footrace. "We're so comfortable, we're miserable." -Dean Karnazes The Cheat Sheet: What drives someone to leave their secure corporate job and run a hundred thousand miles (so far) in a lifetime -- including three hundred and fifty n...
Jun 06, 2017•1 hr 2 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This week, we talk about success momentum: small wins that increase confidence and resilience. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Sometimes we jump out of bed, ready to attack the day. But what do we do on days we wake up without motivation? Some people have morning rituals. But starting with even just one small win can be as s...
Jun 05, 2017•9 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Even a life you love isn't going to be free of things you don't like. Does the quest for self-awareness have diminishing returns? Some encouraging words from a listener who gets more out of AoC than a library's worth of self-help books. Are microexpressions universal, or aren't they? Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett weighs in on Dr. Paul Ekman's research and ...
Jun 02, 2017•29 min
David Eagleman (@davideagleman) is a Stanford neuroscientist, host of Emmy-nominated PBS/BBC series The Brain, and author of Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain and The Brain: The Story of You. The Cheat Sheet: Why our conscious brain should be grateful for its separation from the subconscious brain. What is sensory substitution, and how might it allow the blind to "see," the deaf to "hear," and create completely new, superhuman senses altogether? Your umwelt is not my umwelt: a shared envi...
Jun 01, 2017•54 min
Bryan Callen (@bryancallen) is an actor, comedian, and podcaster who grew up traveling the world. He holds a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, is certain of comedy's power to change the world, and is older than you probably think he is. "Embrace the chaos." -Bryan Callen The Cheat Sheet: Why you should welcome the advice of an expert who tells you you're doing it all wrong -- no matter what "it" happens to be. How growing up all over the world and feeling like an outsider makes perpetual reinven...
May 30, 2017•1 hr 4 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. "You think you're ordering a coffee, but you're also sending non-verbal signals out the entire time. What do those signals communicate?" -Jordan Harbinger In this Minisode Monday, we talk about the messages we're sending and receiving between the lines when we communicate both verbally and non-verbally -- and how we can hone t...
May 29, 2017•5 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Once again, our beloved Gabriel Mizrahi rejoins us for this one. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible to have an honest, productive conversation with someone who thinks they're always right -- in spite of being your boss and constantly losing clients for your company? When the job you spent six years in school pursuing isn't hiring and you...
May 26, 2017•39 min
Are you resilient? Resilience -- true grit -- has to last in order to be real. That's what we're going to explore in this toolbox: how to build real and lasting grit. [Photo by Lewis Wickes Hine] The Cheat Sheet: The jolt of purpose sometimes masquerades as its more complicated and permanent cousin, grit. Is there a formula for grit? How does adversity affect grit? Grit isn't a technical skill or a fixed framework -- it's a process. To what end is grit about us and the way we think vs. what life...
May 25, 2017•23 min
Gabrielle Reece (@GabbyReece) has been a volleyball player, a model, an actress, a television personality, a mom, a community servant, author of My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper: A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life, and now a podcaster on The Truth Barrel with Gabrielle Reece and Neil Strauss. "Do you want to cry that you have low cards, or do you want to play your high cards and get on with it?" -Gabrielle Reece The Cheat Sheet: How is becoming a mother like "flipping a switch?" Gabri...
May 23, 2017•49 min
Ever get upset by rude comments on the Internet? In this Minisode Monday, we share an effective strategy for dealing with this that we learned from Jay Baer, author of Hug Your Haters: How to Embrace Complaints and Keep Your Customers. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: You can post anything online -- videos of puppies eating birthday cake -- and someone will eventually show up to leave a hateful or hurtful comment. If you're immune to the impact of anonymous rudeness on the Internet, you're bett...
May 22, 2017•5 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. As a bonus, screenwriter and BFF Gabriel Mizrahi joins us for this one. Let's cut to it! Where's the line between a stretch and a lie if you're following the "fake it 'til you make it" strategy? [Related: Jesse Itzler | The 100 Mile Man (Episode 466)] If you feel aimless and don't like college or the job you're working now, have you considered learnin...
May 19, 2017•1 hr 2 min
Peter McGraw (@petermcgraw) is an associate professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Colorado Boulder, founder of the Humor Research Lab (HuRL), and co-author of The Humor Code: A Global Search for What Makes Things Funny. The Cheat Sheet: Humor is ubiquitous -- amusement and laughter are present in all cultures and many non-human mammals. Humor: what is it good for? What are the risks and rewards of humor? Is there a connection between laughter and memory? Can humor be taught?...
May 18, 2017•57 min
