Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: When you're a young female moving to a new city, is looking for roommates on Craigslist advisable? Thanks to Jeff McCollister (@the1hatter) for giving us a proper source for The Guy in the Glass poem we talked about last week. It was written in 1934 by Peter "Dale" Wimbrow Sr., who was not a death row inmate -- in spi...
Sep 01, 2017•25 min
Charlamagne Tha God (@cthagod) is a radio presenter (The Breakfast Club Power 105.1 FM), television personality (Uncommon Sense Live), podcaster, and author of Black Privilege: Opportunity Comes to Those Who Create It. "Living scared gives you a sense of purpose!" -Charlamagne Tha God The Cheat Sheet: What transformed Lenard McKelvey into Charlamagne The God? How Charlamagne went from selling crack in a small town to becoming a radio and television personality -- and now author. Why the moment y...
Aug 29, 2017•56 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we talk about an easy, everyday habit you can cultivate to renew contact with old acquaintances (lest they -- and you -- be forgot)! Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Every single day, text one or two people with whom you haven't spoken in a while. If you use social media: As guest David Burkus recommended wh...
Aug 28, 2017•6 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you deal with a toxic co-worker who happens to be related to the owner of the company? How does public speaking differ between salespeople and teachers? Listener thoughts on destigmatizing misophonia. Finding the right fit when changing jobs is always a gamble, but you always have this option. Feedback from our...
Aug 25, 2017•32 min
Mark Divine (@MarkDivine) is a former Navy SEAL Commander, SEALFIT founder, and author of Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level. The Cheat Sheet: Why would a blueblood CPA decide to leave the family business and become a Navy SEAL? What does "Earn your trident every day" mean to a Navy SEAL? How can anyone -- from doctors and lawyers to mothers and students -- benefit from training mental toughness like a Navy SEAL? How does someone stuck within the ...
Aug 24, 2017•50 min
Richard Clarke (@ghsrm) is the former National Coordinator for Security, Infrastructure Protection, and Counter-Terrorism for the United States, and is the co-author of Warnings: Finding Cassandras to Stop Catastrophes. "When you're a bureaucrat -- an unelected official -- it's not a popularity contest. You don't have to be popular; you just have to get the job done." -Richard Clarke The Cheat Sheet: What is the Cassandra Coefficient? Discover how to use the Cassandra Coefficient to filter signa...
Aug 22, 2017•1 hr 2 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Tinker Dabble Doodle Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind author Dr. Srini Pillay rejoins us to talk about how we can benefit from the seemingly meandering path of dabbling to unlock creativity and make useful connections between disparate interests. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: If you're only looking forward and f...
Aug 21, 2017•9 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible you carry yourself in a way that raises red flags for social gatekeepers? A party is not a dissertation defense. What would be a better career path than mechanic for someone with a natural skillset with people? Why don't we have the same sponsors as other shows? #VanLife: It turns out living in a van do...
Aug 18, 2017•26 min
Garry Kasparov (@Kasparov63) is a Russian chess grandmaster, political activist, and author of Deep Thinking: Where Machine Intelligence Ends and Human Creativity Begins and Winter Is Coming: Why Vladimir Putin and the Enemies of the Free World Must Be Stopped. The Cheat Sheet: The part chess played in promoting Soviet Russian ideology during the Cold War. What it takes to become a chess champion now compared to 50 years ago and why Garry considers the game "one of the most aggressive forces of ...
Aug 17, 2017•1 hr
Srini Pillay (@srinipillay) is a world renowned, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, former Director of the Outpatient Anxiety Disorders Program at McLean Hospital, and author of Tinker Dabble Doodle Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind. "Most of us spend about 46.9 percent of our days daydreaming anyway. So why not learn to unfocus in a more productive way?" -Srini Pillay The Cheat Sheet: When 90-98 percent of mental activity is unconscious, focus can only get you so far. How focus and unfocus...
Aug 15, 2017•47 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we discuss how going just a little out of your way to make someone else's day better has more mileage than any minor inconvenience you may experience in that fleeting moment. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: It's easy to ignore small tasks that someone else usually takes care of. But what happens when we tak...
Aug 14, 2017•6 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you gracefully address the one guy in your group who constantly tries to dominate the conversation? Some feedback for our listener from FMF 122 about coping with a suicidal ex. Who the heck is this AJ character? A listener moving to China to teach English asks for advice from others in the AoC community who hav...
Aug 11, 2017•26 min
Lynn Lyons (@lynnlyonsmsw) has been a psychotherapist for 27 years and is the co-author of Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children and its companion book, Playing with Anxiety: Casey's Guide for Teens and Kids. "If you're uncertain and uncomfortable, you're probably on a good path to some sort of discovery or success or meeting some challenge that's in front of you." -Lynn Lyons The Cheat Sheet: What's the difference between anx...
Aug 10, 2017•53 min
Daniel Levitin (@danlevitin) is a cognitive psychologist, neuroscientist, musician, record producer, and author of Weaponized Lies: How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era. "Your brain clings tenaciously to beliefs that it's held, even when the evidence has been found to be bogus or untrue." -Daniel Levitin The Cheat Sheet: The most important quality for anyone who wants to be an evidence-based, critical thinker. Why even society's smartest people fall victim to misinformation. The first s...
Aug 08, 2017•47 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time we examine why being an amateur sometimes works to your advantage when you're tackling a problem that all the experts say is unsolvable. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you're an amateur trying to solve a problem, you don't know what doesn't work. Contrast this with an expert who approaches that same problem a...
Aug 07, 2017•9 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Are you being overprotective, or does your sibling need more help than you can offer? How should a personal trainer respond to someone who wonders if they're obese -- without giving them a fat prescription of excusamine? How does a relative unknown in the entertainment industry hungry for meatier projects successfully...
Aug 04, 2017•35 min
Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda), author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, revisits the show to talk some sense into us about first love fantasies, knowing the difference between good and bad relationship advice, and why she considers the concept of closure a myth. "Falling in love is not about relationship compatibility." -Linda Carroll The Cheat Sheet: Breaking away from first love fantasies. Why falling out of love is not a reason to leave a relationship. Four good re...
Aug 03, 2017•40 min
Jay Mohr (@jaymohr37) is a comedian, actor, Emmy nominee, bestselling author, and host of Mohr Sports from Los Angeles and Mohr Stories. "Desperation has a very distinct scent." -Jay Mohr The Cheat Sheet: How Jay Mohr dealt with panic attacks while working on Saturday Night Live (and how panic differs from fear). Jay's secrets to being a better impressionist. What it's like to start out as a stand-up comic at age 16. The power of sincerity and real storytelling in comedy. How Jay copes with impo...
Aug 01, 2017•1 hr 9 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, friend and former guest Cole Hatter of Thrive (September 29th-October 1st, 2017 in Las Vegas -- use promo code AOC at checkout for a big, big discount if you're planning on going) joins us to explain how we can ensure we're making the best decisions by using absolute truths to guide us. Let's get to it...
Jul 31, 2017•12 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Does the conversation often move on before you've had the time to formulate a response? Is the perfectionist inside of you too restless to enjoy how good you've really got it? How can you tell legitimate coaches apart from the money-grubbing shysters? Do you consume so much information that it's hard to make any of it...
Jul 28, 2017•43 min
Bill Nye (@billnye) is a lifelong champion of science who is determined to teach you something today that you didn't know yesterday -- whether it's from a television screen or next to you at a dinner party. His latest series is Bill Nye Saves the World on Netflix, and his most recent book is Everything All at Once: How to Unleash Your Inner Nerd, Tap Into Radical Curiosity, and Solve Any Problem. The Cheat Sheet: Why denying proven science -- like climate change and the efficacy of vaccination -...
Jul 25, 2017•46 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Never let it be said that The Art of Charm would discourage you from being the best you can be. But have you considered the merits of lowering the bar? Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Setting your bar for success too high can result in the opposite of the desired effect. Rather than putting yourself in the path of a disempow...
Jul 24, 2017•5 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Does Jordan still use any skills he learned in law school? How can you get rid of uptalk and vocal fry? Interesting feedback: Quite a few Russians and Ukrainians wrote in to agree with recent guest Timothy Snyder's take on tyranny. How do you break the news to your religious, conservative family that you've got diverg...
Jul 21, 2017•27 min
Tim Grover (@ATTACKATHLETICS) is the legendary trainer called upon by athletes like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant when they want to be at the top of their game. He's the CEO of Attack Athletics and author of Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable. "Unless you have that mindset, skillset does not matter." -Tim Grover The Cheat Sheet: Putting aside inspirational Internet meme bromides, What does it really mean to be relentless? Why does every team need cleaners, closers, and coolers? Relen...
Jul 20, 2017•1 hr 2 min
Jack Barsky (@DeepCoverBarsky) joins us to discuss his book Deep Undercover: My Secret Life and Tangled Allegiances as a KGB Spy in America. This is part two of a two-part episode; listen to part one here! The Cheat Sheet: We continue Jack Barsky's story that began in episode 633. Make sure you start there! How Jack handled a double life -- complete with two families. Why the once-powerful allure of Soviet-style communism began to wane over time for Jack. Why Jack decided to stay in the United S...
Jul 18, 2017•50 min
This Minisode Monday, we examine how even the most reliable news sources and documentary makers skew the facts or present half-truths when reporting -- often unintentionally -- we just don't notice it unless it happens to be about something with which we're already familiar. It's a reminder to always consider multiple sources if we want to be truly informed on any subject. The Cheat Sheet: We all get news from somewhere. But how do we know our sources are reputable? The truth is, even with the b...
Jul 17, 2017•3 min
Liz Dolan (@SSLiz) and Larry Seal (@IHateMyBossShow) from the I Hate My Boss podcast join us for this Fan Mail Friday to answer your work and career-related questions, so let's cut to it! In this episode: Company loyalty vs. personal goals when a change in ownership is pending. Have you outgrown your "negaholic" friends at work when they're always complaining about the job you love? Hey, ambitious but unfulfilled intern! Should you stay or should you go? How do you reasonably cope with an unmoti...
Jul 14, 2017•48 min
Christian Picciolini (@cpicciolini) is an Emmy Award-winning television producer, reformed extremist, co-founder of peace nonprofit Life After Hate, and author of Romantic Violence: Memoirs of an American Skinhead. "Hatred is born of ignorance. Fear is its father, and isolation is its mother." -Christian Picciolini The Cheat Sheet: How the marketing of extremism has evolved to become more palatable to the masses. How identity, community, and purpose drive extremism -- not ideology. Why extremism...
Jul 13, 2017•54 min
Jack Barsky (@DeepCoverBarsky) joins us to discuss his book Deep Undercover: My Secret Life and Tangled Allegiances as a KGB Spy in America. This is part one of a two-part episode; stay tuned for the second installment next Monday! "The only advice I can give young people is the following: 'It always takes longer, and it always costs more.'" -Jack Barsky The Cheat Sheet: What Jack Barsky's childhood was like in postwar East Germany. The stickiness of Soviet-style communist ideology and how it ap...
Jul 11, 2017•47 min
Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Are there any benefits to suppressing emotions vs. acknowledging them? Here's an exercise to ensure you're doing the right thing. Many thanks to recent guest and How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain author Lisa Feldman Barrett (hear her full show here) for helping put this one together! The Cheat Sheet: Suppress...
Jul 10, 2017•4 min
