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Through Vanilla Eyes

May 15, 202535 minEp. 70
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Episode description

Join host Jason as he invites listeners to explore the thrilling world of lifestyle events through the eyes of a "vanilla" couple, Rob and Diane. In this episode, Jason recounts the duo's enlightening experience attending a Risqué Lifestyle Glow Party, highlighting the openness and inclusivity of the lifestyle community.

With humor and candor, Jason narrates how this eye-opening weekend redefined expectations and revealed the liberating essence of lifestyle gatherings. He shares valuable insights into the importance of communication, mutual respect, and the safety offered in these spaces.

Discover how Rob and Diane immersed themselves in this vibrant, judgment-free environment, all while conventional societal norms faded into the backdrop of colorful lights and rhythmic beats. Whether you're a lifestyle veteran or simply curious, this episode provides a unique glimpse into a world that celebrates freedom and connection.

https://www.techdproductions.com/

My links:

www.thatotherlifestyle.com

https://benable.com/ThatOtherLifestyle

National Lifestyle Weekend Tickets

Naughty in New Orleans 2025 Tickets

Single Men's Guide to the Lifestyle Course

https://beacons.ai/thatotherlifestyle

Risque Lifestyle Parties

SDC.com

STDHero.com

Hellowisp.com

Transcript

Intro / Opening

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies. Welcome to the other lifestyle podcast.

Welcome to Other Lifestyle Podcast

I am your host, Jason. Leave vanilla behind as we talk about lifestyle events through vanilla eyes. This podcast is for adults only. We'll be diving into adult and sexual topics with plenty of colorful language, so it is not safe for work. If you are under 18, get the hell out. This show is all about exploring the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy, and it's open to everyone, no matter your background, gender identity, expression, or your personal truth.

While I do my best to use inclusive language, you might hear terms like husband, wife, or partner for simplicity's sake. This show is for everyone, lifestyle, vanilla, or the curious. You want to connect with me, you can send me an email to host at thatotherlifestyle.com or you can go to my website thatotherlifestyle.com. Everyone is welcome here because the lifestyle is about so much more than you think. I did a thing. I did a really cool thing that inspired this episode.

My vanilla friends came to a risque glow party. I realized how desensitized I had become after going to lifestyle events and parties over all these years. Bringing this other couple with us to a risque party was eye-opening for me. I got to see a lifestyle event through their eyes like it was time again. How did this happen? Did they enjoy the party? What the fuck, Jason? Did they do anything fun and frisky? Questions. So many questions.

Let me set the stage and tell the story. I know a vanilla couple who we will call Rob and Diane for this story. I'm withholding their real names, not that they would really care if I said their real names. I want to respect their discretion, and I don't know who all they told in their social circle back home why they flew to another state for a weekend. I've known Rob and Diane for a while. I met Rob out in the vanilla world at a previous job, and we've stayed in touch over the years.

When I started the podcast, this show, hi, welcome, thanks for being here, I reached out to Rob for business advice on how to do all the business stuff, business side of content creation. And side note, if you know a fucking social media manager that works for cheap and or for dick pics, let me know. I am great at the talking, doing the posting, and the social media is exhausting.

Anyway, Rob knew about our hobby, and over the past year, I've been sharing information about the lifestyle with him and his wife. He watched my show grow from the very beginning. Finally, after over a year of hearing about how awesome lifestyle events can be, Rob and Diane decided to check it out about two weeks ago, I think. Depending on when you're listening to this, just know that it was recent. There was a Risqué Lifestyle Glow Party in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

If you want more information about Risqué, their website is risquélifestyleparties.com. The next big event will be back to school, which is the last weekend of August, so like Labor Day, here in the States. Riske is also doing a new event in Destin, Florida at the end of September. It's called Pulsify, and I'm running ads with all the details for that, so listen to the commercials. This is one of the only or maybe the very first hotel takeover directly on a beach.

My wife and I told Rob and Diane about the glow party. We had to explain what a glow party is, like a rave with better lighting and air conditioning, really. One of the best selling points, though, for Diane, she loves to dance. And at these kind of parties, she could just dance. My wife verified that at a lifestyle event, a woman can dance all night long and not have to worry about random guys trying to grind up against them.

And that's a weird selling point if you think about it. Normally, if you tell a vanilla person, oh, hey, we're going to a swinger party, they're going to think, and I already know what images are in your head, nudity and orgy, full on like Roman orgy kind of thing. And really, it's more about enjoying a safe lifestyle space than anything else. The freedom for a woman, any woman, to simply be without worry about harassment. And I see it as harassment in vanilla nightclubs.

Women are living their best life, having a great fucking time, and some random dude wants to intrude on their personal space.

Lifestyle spaces it doesn't happen like that another selling point for diane she got to dress up my wife and diane collaborated on outfits and shoes and websites to get outfits and shoes it made my heart happy to see them connecting about such a really an innocent thing and it wasn't oh this is the best dildo or strap-on for fucking like no it wasn't that i'm saying that because we hear that shit from the vanilla crowd who thinks that the only

connection we can have with people in the lifestyle of sex related. It's not true. My wife helped Diane design her outfits, gave her pointers on what to wear and what shoes to wear. That is so cool. That is something missing from the vanilla world, I feel. Connecting over something relatively innocent, right? That's just fucking beautiful, man. The world needs more of that humanity, connection, putting effort into a moment that makes you happy.

And this whole story, this whole script, It's about defiance, defiance of expectations, living your best fucking life in the moment, being real with yourself at 2 a.m. In the morning in the middle of a raging crowd, being real with yourself and saying, yes, I'm going to wear this neon green outfit because it makes me feel good and sexy and real. It is passion, damn it. Passion is coming out. I digress. The risque party. It was in a hotel ballroom. Another reason I love hotel takeovers.

The temporary nature of them. Sex clubs, they're all fine and good, but they're always there. There's this ethereal quality to a takeover though. 200 swingers, and in this case, two vanilla-ish people, crammed into a ballroom on a Saturday night and Monday morning. That same room is going to be used for a corporate bullshit seminar or a team building exercise or something.

I want to go in there during that seminar and just let everyone in that room know that, oh yeah, in that spot over there, there was a woman wearing a robe with her tits and vagina out below their fucking minds. The risque party is two nights. Y'all have heard me talk about these parties before. The first night was Area 69, so it was sci-fi space aliens. The second night was the glow party. Neon lights, black lights, the fucking effects this time. What?

So I know the guy, my buddy owns Tech D Productions. TechDProductions.com. Go check out their videos. It's a husband and wife team known as AFX. It was wild. And I realize now I probably mispronounced their DJ names, but it's close enough. It was wild what they pulled off. Fucking holograms were dancing around. And you ever seen the light effects they do on sides of buildings, the giant projection mapping effects? Yeah, they did that inside a hotel ballroom. So I'll put the link for their

site in the show notes. Go check them out. Back to the party. Rob and Diane, they got in on Friday night. My wife and I, we wanted to take them out to dinner. Walking out to the car, I got jumped by three unicorns. Two of them came running out of a car and the third one snuck up on me. And each one of them took turns jumping into my arms. And Rob is standing there. He is blown away. And he's looking at me like, is this normal?

My wife, never missing a beat. She said, oh yeah, that's totally normal for Jason. We go to dinner and I couldn't resist the server. There was a very nice lady named Casey. I remember her name. She asked if we had any plans for the night. And I just had to blurt out, we're going to a rave. And me and Rob are both, you can tell that we're over 40. I have a lot of gray hair. And she just nodded along that that was just the usual thing to hear on a Friday night. So I respect her.

We went to dinner, got back to the hotel. And at this point, I had to have an uncomfortable conversation with my friends. And they took it like champs. When you dig into another couple's rules and safety procedures and all that stuff, I call it the unfun conversation because it's not fun. It is unfun. It is the antithesis of having fun in the fuckery. And I needed to have this unfun conversation with my friends.

The Unfun Conversation

So I asked them while we're just sitting around hanging out, like, what are your rules for the night? I asked this because, yeah, we're at a fucking swinger lifestyle party. They may be approached by a couple who's interested in them. It could happen. It does happen. It happens to me. They were very honest and direct. They had no plans on swapping with anyone. Okay, fair enough. Follow-up question, all right? What about kissing? And they said, no, no kissing. I said, okay, fair enough.

Then I asked, are y'all going to stick to all that? How flexible are your rules? And I've prepped them for these conversations as we've been leading up to these parties. I've been like, okay, I need you to go talk about this and then go talk about this. So they were ready. They were ready for this line of conversation, which made me so happy because I could tell they had already talked about it on their own. They planned on sticking to their rules. They weren't going to do any kissing.

And I wanted to know their rules for two reasons. The first reason, I wanted to make sure they had had these conversations and they could give me clear responses. These are not conversations anyone should have in the moment. My wife and I, we check in on our way to the event, we talk, we decide ahead of time if we're going to do anything, what we're going to do, who we may do stuff with.

We make all these determinations prior to an event because you don't want to have a secret conversation using telepathy in the hotel elevator going up to someone's room. I've done it. It does not work well. Two, the other reason. I wanted to make sure their answers were in the correct vernacular for the lifestyle. Over here in the lifestyle, we have our own language, and if you speak our language, we understand each other a lot better.

If they could state their rules clearly to me, that means they could state those rules clearly to another couple who might be interested. Look, they are a, being honest, they're a vanilla-ish couple coming into a lifestyle space. They were under no misconceptions about what they were walking into. I respect the space and I'm not going to ask anyone in that space to change their behavior to accommodate someone else. I don't do it at events and parties.

I don't do it at my own house parties. If a vanilla friend wants to show up, my heathen friends are going to act like fucking heathens and I'm not going to stop them. That ain't right. I've told them before. No one is going to know just looking at you, and this is true for everybody, so y'all take this to heart. No one is going to know just by looking at you that you're vanilla or they're not going to know what your rules are without asking.

People will ask, and you need to be able to provide a concise answer, not the correct answer. I want to make a distinction here. correct is relative to the couple making the decisions. I want it concise, something you can yell over the loud music at the party, easy and quick. Do I sound like a dick for doing this? I could see that a vanilla person listening to this would think, well, why are you pressing them? Let them have their own rules. They don't need to share that with you.

To that thought and that person, I say, fuck off. This couple, these friends are my guests at this event. This is their first lifestyle event. To me, a couple having these conversations and being able to articulate their answers is a sign of respect for the lifestyle. It is showing respect to the community to acknowledge that this is how we operate. This is the standard we operate at and what we expect from other people.

Yeah, there are couples and people in the lifestyle who you ask them a straight question of, hey, I want to bury my beard between your legs. May I? And they can't answer you. It's a rambling, incoherent mess. Not acceptable. The answer in some permutation is going to be yes, no, maybe later. Those are the three options. I wanted to make sure my friends were better equipped than that. Than that stumbling, rambling, incoherent mess. Better equipped than my wife and I when we started out.

So if a random person walked up and said, hey, let's go back to our room and get naked, they had their answer ready. That shows respect for our community. And another thing I did, I told them to go get tested. I did that. if they wanted the true lifestyle experience, they needed to get tested. We all get tested, right? And I'm going to plug it right here. I told them to use STD Hero. They had never done an STI test though. So why would they? They were a monogamous couple.

They'd been together for 30 years and they were like, what? And I was like, nope, you need to go do it. I told them to have the true experience, go get tested.

The Night of Anticipation

Us in the community, we get tested prior to events. So we know if we're all green to fuck around at these takeovers stdhero.com use my promo code tol15 for 15% off your order and experience painless sti testing this was friday night leading up to the party that started at 9 p.m we got all we all got dressed up and we headed downstairs at this point they were excited they were giddy and i asked rob if he was nervous and he said he actually had

no reason to be nervous because they had no idea what to expect I'll see you next time. I like that answer. I will admit I was nervous. I convinced this couple to fly two states over here and go to this party. I genuinely wanted them to have a good time.

Party in Paradise

Are you ready to party in paradise? Risque Lifestyle Parties presents Pulsify 2025 at the Island Resort on the sparkling waters of the Gulf Coast in Fort Walton Beach, Florida. September 26th through the 28th, 2025. Come for the two-day party that will take hotel takeovers to the next level in one place, with many stories and endless fun for you and your sexiest friends. Spend the day relaxing by the pool with swim-up bars, evenings on the white

sand beach, and your nights with the hottest lifestyle DJs all in one place. Rooms now available. Go to risquélifestyleparties.com for more information. When you go out for a wild night you want to be the hero of your own epic story you want to do the kind of things the vanilla world can only dream of you want to set the night on fire stdhero.com has got you covered no matter where your story may go be the ultimate lifestyle hero with std HERO's new Ultimate STI testing kit.

The Ultimate HERO panel is a comprehensive, affordable panel for infections transmitted sexually, including anal and oral, which can often be symptomless. The Ultimate test screens for 13 high-risk STIs. It is the ultimate protection for those in the lifestyle. Compare the prices and see for yourself. STD HERO's kits are shipped to your home in and discreet packaging utilising painless blood sample collection. Be safe out there. Be a hero of your own story.

Use promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order at stdhero.com. The Riskekelo party was the perfect introduction to the lifestyle for Rob and Diane. Big thumping music, nice crowd, crazy visuals. We get in the ballroom and they are wide-eyed taking it in. And that's when I realized how special this moment in time is.

I asked them if this is what they expected. And they said, no. When you say swinger party, like I mentioned, the vanilla world thinks it's just going to be this giant orgy and nudity and body juices. There was none of that. And I hate to spoil it for the vanilla crowd listening. That's not what this is. This is a group of adults who gathered, wear wild costumes and just dance and be free. Yes, there is fuckery going on at this takeover up in the respective hotel rooms.

And like some takeovers do have playrooms. In this space, we're just having a good time and vibing. No one is doing the dirty in the middle of the dance floor. People are mingling. People are talking. Nothing unusual. If a random person stumbled into this, yes, they would be very fucking confused. But nothing about this screams, oh my God, we're swingers, right?

Experiencing the Lifestyle

For me, I feel I have become desensitized to all this. We go to so many parties and events. This is all just second nature to me. If a woman walks past me in nothing but a thong and nipple pasties, I don't even turn my head. This is the normal that we operate at. Seeing my friends experience all this for the first time, it was damn near magical. And I pulled Rob aside and I had to ask him again, one more time, is this meeting your expectations?

And if this is what he expected and he laughed and said no. No. He laughs so hard about it because it is that defiance of the expectations that makes the lifestyle special. We defy cultural norms about monogamy. We defy the cultural norms about communications and sex and body positivity. This is a group of adults, 21 to 70, having a fun time on a Friday night. Let me spin this another way.

You may have children. You may have little tiny roommates that the government says you have to take care of. I don't. I know people with kids. So let's say hypothetically you have children. How many of your social engagements involve kids? Now, granted, I should not be talking about kids during a swinger podcast, but there is a reason. How much of your social life revolves around being a parent, revolves around having children, sports, clubs, band, whatever the hell tweens are into now?

How many times do you have to listen to Brenda at the PTA, meaning whine and bitch about her kid not getting picked to play football. How many fucking Saturdays do you have to give up for some stupid kid shit at their school? Here in this space, at this brisket party, that part of your identity does not matter. You don't have to pretend anymore. You don't have to pretend to give a shit about someone else's kid. You don't have to pretend to give a shit about selling raffle tickets or cookies.

Here, you can be yourself without that identity of a parent or a coworker or a responsible fucking member of society attached to you. It does not matter to this crowd what you do for a living. It does not matter your income bracket or your salary or any other identifiers the vanilla world wants to force on you. I often talk about lifestyle spaces, how they are special and sacred.

And I truly believe that. A lifestyle space is anywhere that a person in the lifestyle, even lifestyle adjacent like my friends, can experience something magical freely and safely. So how would I define a gathering? When does a gathering become a lifestyle space? Let me compare the risque party to just a standard old swinger meetup at a dingy dive bar. At the risque party, everyone has to buy a ticket. Means you have to commit to attending this. There's a barrier to entry.

There's security involved in that barrier to entry. At a fucking bar, there is no barrier to entry besides just walking in. I know everyone who is in this space at risque is part of the lifestyle or at least aware enough of it to find this party. In that bar you go to? No, you are mixing freely with vanillas who may judge you, hit on you, hit you, or just in general be shitheads. At a risque party and lifestyle events. I feel safe. More importantly, I feel safe for my wife.

That's a huge distinction. In a bar, I am not leaving my wife's side. And let's not twist this around. This is not because I don't trust her, which is fucking stupid. No, I stick close to my wife to protect her. And again, I don't want to twist this up. I'm not possessive or jealous of my wife. If she wants to flirt with a dude, go for it. I am protective in the sense that I want to know that she's okay and safe.

I want to make sure that the most precious person in the world to me is safe from men or women harassing her, touching her without permission. You've been to a bar or a nightclub. You know what that crowd acts like. At a lifestyle party, I feel okay leaving my wife to go to the bathroom. In a bar? Nope, we are going as a fucking pack. I know men will respect my wife in that space. And, oh yeah, here comes the retort. Well, Jason, you can't assume every man

in that room will do that. Okay, I can give you that. Yes, there may be one jackass dude who tries something with my wife, and I know that there will be at least seven guys who step in to stop him. Not in a violent manner, not in a confrontational manner. They're going to step in to defuse the situation. They're going to watch out for my wife, just like I will watch out for anyone else's wife in this space.

If someone has too much to drink, I will step in and find their spouse to remove them from the situation. If someone gets handsy with another person, I'm going to call them out. I know my friends are going to call them out. And I know other people in the room have the same mindset I do. That is safety. And also the guy who runs Risque is seven feet tall, 300 pounds of muscles. And he watches these events like a hawk.

I'm telling my friends before they showed up all of this about the safety and the community we're in. I don't know if they believed it. And I think it finally hit them when Diane was able to go dancing. Just dance. and no one tried to grind on her. No one tried to force themselves into this space. No one did that. And I know Rob was having a good time because even he got out there on the dance floor. People were welcoming. People were welcoming to this brand new couple and I watched it.

I kind of knew I wanted to talk about this leading into the party so my rider hat was on Friday night. I was observing, making all these mental notes. People walked up to him, shook their hands, introduced themselves. Again, really different from a bar because when was the last time You just talk to a sober stranger in a bar. Diane danced all night, and Rob just lit up, seeing his wife be free. That's another quality of lifestyle spaces I want to call out.

Women, calling out women here are those who identify as women.

Divine Femininity and Masculinity

In these spaces, they're able to relax. And as I'm writing this script, my wife came in to just give me more information in her perspective. For women in modern society, I think we all need to collectively acknowledge, however uncomfortable it is, that women are always on guard. In public, women have to be on guard. Not to say men are not. In certain cities, my head is on a swivel too. I get it.

For women who may be constantly hit on, harassed, having to defend themselves mentally, emotionally, and God forbid, physically. I get it. And you get it if you're listening to me. In these spaces, women can drop that guard, however much they feel comfortable, you know, within reason. I respect the line. The magic of this is that women are able to enter the state of divine femininity. And I'm called back to something I have not talked about in forever.

Divine femininity. Being able to simply be a woman, a feminine creature. And the less woo-woo definition of this is being able to fucking relax for once. When women are able to achieve that divine feminine state, what the fuck do men do? Someone's asking, right? Men, we are able to go into a divine masculine state. We're able to be the protectors, the guardians of these spaces that allow the people we love to be their true selves. It's a beautiful thing and I'm not doing it justice.

Rob and Diane experienced this for the first time that Friday night in Baton Rouge. Rob got to see his beautiful wife, the love of his life. Have fun. Be happy. Diane got to exist in this space free from pressure and expectations and societal norms. She could dance. That was Friday night, right? Saturday night, the next night, because these are two night things. You've got to commit to this and pace yourself the first night. I did not.

This was the glow night. If you're new to the lifestyle, glow night, it's, like I said, a better organized rave with black lights. Anytime you see glow as a theme for a party, think neon. Think bright colors. I had on green shorts, purple shoes. I got a custom sleeveless jacket made for this party. I looked like a neon Viking. Sexy beast. And the coat was amazing because I could walk up to women and just sweep them up into it, consensually, of course, and just hug them.

I think they liked that a lot. Outfits. Outfits are great. Leading up to this party, there were conversations with Diane about her outfit. She was stressing. She ordered this custom cute blue and orange outfit from the same place I got my coat. The giddiness of these conversations we had with her contrasted with the fact that Diane is a badass, like a corporate juggernaut badass.

And for me to have a conversation about her glow outfit and the colors and my wife chiming in about the cut and the fabric, it was so fucking cute. She couldn't remember the last time she got to dress up like this. And she had her cute outfit on Saturday. She was just so happy. and to see in Rob's eyes. And I need you to start noticing this. Notice the love and admiration and adulation and adoration.

A Night of Freedom

That's a lot of Asians that a person has for their spouse. The eyes will always give it away. Look for couples that always give each other that look. Even if it is at 6 a.m. And they're hungover and they're trying to choke down hotel room coffee, That look of love is there, and it is pure, and it is good. And my wife, since I am recounting outfits, my wife found thigh-high, six-inch platform neon boots with three sets of laces on each fucking boot.

It took an hour on a Sunday afternoon before the party to get all these laces to fit right. She went with this neon swirl bodysuit with these huge wizard-style sleeves. They were dragging the floor, and we matched my coat and her bodysuit. We partied all night. I think Rob and Diane crashed around 1 and we made it till 3 a.m. I was proud of myself for that one because I'm usually in bed for 7.30 every night. And I did see Rob and Diane the next morning before they left.

They were tired, but they were happy. The whole weekend up subverted their expectations. And I hope this story helps to subvert your expectations. If you are vanilla and you're listening to me, hi, welcome. Thank you for hanging out with me and enjoying the very best lifestyle content available. If you go into this with an open mind, if you're educated on the lifestyle, you can call yourself no swap or LS adjacent or whatever. I don't care.

You're welcome in these spaces. When was the last time you got to go out with your spouse free from any bullshit and have a good time?

Subverting Expectations

Have the kind of night you finally remembered when y'all were dating on your honeymoon. So what's the takeaway here? Go into these events with an open mind. If this is your first lifestyle event and you decide to be no swap, fantastic. If you have expectations of what a lifestyle event will be, I promise you they are wrong. Until you experience a real party in a lifestyle space, everything else pales in comparison.

There is no rinky-dink bar that is going to compare to the freedom of 300 swingers in a single room vibing. I would be remiss if I did not address one other point, a counterpoint.

Embracing All Journeys

There will be a contingent of people out there, the true swingers, as we say in air quotes, who have a problem with what I did. I can see it coming. I can see someone who is in the lifestyle per their criteria, who is upset that I brought a new couple in who had no intention of swapping with or fucking around with anyone. That I was wrong for doing this. I don't know if my friends will ever open up

their marriage. It's not my place to ask or care. If they want to, I am here to guide them, but I will not push them in any way because I don't give a shit. That is 100% their decision or any other couple's decision for that matter. There are people who believe that we should not allow no swap couples or vanilla swingers as some call them into lifestyle spaces.

And for reasons, I slapped a big old pineapple sticker on Alan's arm as we were hanging out and yelled out over the music, Welcome to the club, fucker. I did that. And I would do that again for any of my vanilla friends who want to experience this. To put up artificial barriers, to say that someone is not a true swinger or someone does not belong in a space, I'm going to call that for what it is, gatekeeping.

People want to make imaginary criteria for what is a true fan of something or a participant in a culture. Tell you a story. I was once accused of not being a real Marvel fan because I haven't seen the movies. I think the last Marvel movie I watched was Endgame, however long ago that was. I never sit down to watch TV. Y'all know that about me. Talking to a dude a few weeks ago at a vanilla thing, he said he was a Marvel fan. I'm like, oh, my ears perked up. I said I was too.

He was talking about the movies and I was talking about the comics. He then was jokingly trying to riff on me, or maybe he was just trying to be a dick or neg me around some other people that I wasn't a true fan. Look, I have read thousands of Marvel comics, just about everything from the year 2000 to 2024. I could give you the entire backstory of Wolverine, the character, you know, the guy with the big claws from memory.

And I know that Wolverine or James, as is his real name, because it certainly ain't fucking Logan. He can't even do that. That is gatekeeping in action because I did not consume the same media as he did in the same way I was inferior and not a true fan. Or, you know, give you another one. If you mentioned that you like a band and someone demands you name 20 songs by this artist or you're not a real fan.

You aren't a real fan of baseball unless you can name the stats of the Braves pitcher from 1999. That's gatekeeping. And I ask the lifestyle community to be better. However newbies decide to join us, be it through a fantasy or just someone hard-selling them on a fucking party two states away, we need to embrace them. Wherever they are on their journey, even if they never progress or change, embrace them. Respect the choices they have made and where they are.

Look, if all you ever want at parties are couples willing to fuck other couples, those parties are going to get smaller and smaller every time. I personally would not bring any vanilla or lifestyle adjacent friends of mine to a house party. The possibility for fuckery to happen at one of those is a lot higher. I don't know if they would be comfortable with that. I don't know if they are equipped properly to have conversations or to process that.

I would be derelict in my duty as a friend if I did that to somebody. A hotel takeover is a public venue. Yeah, this is a good way to introduce people. There's less pressure, there's subversion of expectations, freedom, no pressure to do anything with anyone. For my wife and I, when we started, there were hotel takeovers and events, but we didn't go. We didn't really know about them.

Know as in what the fuck they're all about and what goes on there versus know that they exist i feel our runway into the lifestyle was not as gentle as some people could for some people some people have or it could have been i wish we had someone bring us into the lifestyle a lot gentler and another factor is that there is a problem and no one's going to talk about this but i'm going to fucking talk about it money motherfuckers these takeovers and events are businesses.

They need to make money to keep doing them. The owners of these events work hard. I know the owner of Risque works his ass off to put on good productions for us, for our community. I respect the hell out of that man for what he has built on his own and the Risque community that he has grown and built over the years.

It's a business. And the ones who gatekeep the worst who say, oh no, you can't come in because you don't meet these criteria are the ones who forget that somebody has to make money and profit to keep doing it. So yeah, if you don't like that, yeah, you can start your own event for only true swingers. Go for it. But in business, you must be able to provide the best product possible for the most consumers possible. If a couple buys a ticket to a takeover, I'm very confident they know the deal.

They know what they're walking into.

The Value of Inclusivity

No one, especially not the owner, is going to check for their pineapple certification when they walk in the door. Takeovers and events attract a lot of people from all the different flavors of ethical non-monogamy because they want to experience the space it creates. Would you rather have a crowd of 10 swingers or 100 people from all the different flavors? Yes, you may have to have more conversations to find someone to fuck that night.

If you're looking for a space of just true swingers, you may have to just throw your own party. I appreciate these public, relatively public events for what they are. A gathering of like-minded people. Usually when my wife and I go to takeovers, we're not there to fuck around with anyone. The reason is for me, I am paying money to party and I want to party.

It's the same concept I put on theme parks. I am paying money to be in a theme park, and I will squeeze every fucking cent out of them from sun up till they close. I'm not judging anyone who goes into a takeover with the intention of getting laid. Go for it. Get it. I can't tell anyone what to do or what to get out of an experience.

Maybe you are the kind of person who goes to a theme park for just a single roller coaster and rock on with your bad self, but you can't judge someone who doesn't want to ride the same ride that you do all day long. The whole risque party weekend for me was a subversion of expectations.

The Incredible Lifestyle Experience

I know I said it before, and I truly believe that I had become desensitized to just how fucking awesome all this is. Like, the lifestyle is fucking incredible. I brought new people, and I got to see this. I got to do this for the first time again. I always appreciate hearing your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions for topics, so feel free to reach out to me at host at thatotherlifestyle.com. My website, one more time, is thatotherlifestyle.com.

My personal disclaimer, I'm not a medical professional nor a trained and certified educator of any kind in any way. I'm a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only, and please join us for the next episode. Whatever you may do today, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it. Know that you are appreciated and loved. Have a great day. Thank you. Music.

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