264. How to Move On From That Motherf**ker

I know we all have that person from our past that we just can't seem to let go up. Here's the thing. We just had the nine nine to nine portal, a full moon. A couple of days before that, we had a full blood moon, and nine nine nine is all about releasing karmic debt. Nine nine nine is releasing what was so we can welcome in what will be. It is not a death but a rebirth. And you can't be wanting and praying and manifesting new things while

trying to hold on to old news. Okay. Now, I believe I am specifically the best guide for this topic because I have let go of oh so many people, and I didn't realize how often I do this or how well I do this until I really started to talk to people all around the world, my clients, until I was talking to my friends, my cousin, my family, and I realize how hard it is for people to let others go. I'm not kidding you. I don't care

who you are, how long you're in my life. If you start acting up, you have got to go and I will remove you. Do I like it? No? Is it easy? No? But my emotions will never outweigh my self respect. My current temporary emotions will never outweigh my vision of what it is that I came to this planet to experience. Today, we are going to talk about how to finally move on and know. It's not just

about blocking them. This is about mind, body's soul, transcending what was so you can finally step into all of your power. You don't need to be that girl or that guy that's consistently crying over that thing from your past. Call them a narcissist, call them demonic, doesn't really matter. What they are are for sure, though, is someone who's not meant to continue into your future with you. What's

the positive bitches? How are you doing today? If you're hearing this episode, then you are meant to be here. So keep listening on that Bitch Is Positive podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, baby, we're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered positive bitch self that is babe in true connection with herself,

himself or human self. I do just want to say, if you're listening to this podcast, if you've been enjoying this podcast, please leave a positive review wherever you're listening, whether that's Apple Podcasts or Spotify. If you are listening on YouTube, be sure to talk to me in the comments. I don't care if you just say hey, hello, how you doing? Maybe share what you're going through because your

words might help someone else. But I'm really focusing on making this podcast grow right now, So if you could engage with this content, it would mean the world to me, and also it might mean the world to someone else. You never know. If you are looking for one on one guide with Law, I am a certified life and energy coach as well as a reiki practitioner. You can DM me on Instagram now at vibe and with CC.

My link will be in the show notes. Be sure to follow me on Instagram for daily energetic readings as well as Meme Tuesday, because we all need a giggle here and there. If you are going through a breakup, the twenty one day Breakup Globe Challenge will be perfect to pair with this episode. And of course, if you've not yet gotten your copy of Show Up as Her My Book, get that as soon as you can and it will help you move through this season without further ado.

Let's get into today's episode. If it was meant to be, it would be the fact that it's not is evidence that it's not meant to be. Okay, Okay, I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this. If it was meant to be, it would be right now. The fact that it is not is energetic universal evidence that it is not meant to be. Period, When we don't chase, when we don't bargain with destiny, with fate, the invisible string will pull us accordingly to exactly where it is

we need to go. What is the invisible string theory? This theory is that when you are born, there's an invisible string that pulls you to the right people, the right places, the right cities at the right time. This is not all in your control. When you try to fight what is, that is the root of all suffering, going against what is and trying to enact your will over thy will. Baby, Yes, you have so much control over your life, but you are not the sole creator

of it. You are in co collaboration, co creation with the divine, and you gotta start listening. You are stepping on your own foot. You're making your life harder than what it actually needs to be because you are trying to resist. Simply what is. If this person was meant to fight for you, they would. If this person was meant to stick around in your reality, they would. If this person was meant to be here and continuously date you and marry you and be with you, they would.

The fact that they are not is proof in itself that they are not meant to be doing those things. They are not meant to continue into the next season with you. Now, something about the invisible string is yeah, it can actually stretch, It can bend, it can twist, it can tangle. So if this person at a later date is meant to componing back into your life by

way of the invisible string. They will be pulled back in, but there is nothing, no way, nada for you to do to try to claw, to beg to glue someone into your reality if they are not meant to be in this season. Sometimes we meet a soulmate and we think this is my husband there forever Now. Your intuition is not wrong that this is a soulmate, But you've got to understand what type of soulmate are they Are they karmic, because that would mean they're meant to come in.

They're meant to trigger your wounds that you've had with your caregivers. You're inner child. They're meant to show you where you're still hurting. And then they're meant to get up and leave. They were meant to arrive. They're not necessarily meant to stay. Just because the invisible string pulls someone in for a season, it does not mean they're meant to stay for a lifetime. And if they're meant to come back in, they will. You don't have to

do anything. You don't have to do anything. You decide at a really early age that you had to control your own reality because you don't trust God. You decided that the only way for you to be safe is for you to try to control everything. But by the way, when you're trying to control everything, you're still not controlling everything. You can only control the controllables. You can control how you show up, your attitude, what you focus on, what you do with your time and your energy. But you

can't control other people. You can't control your whole entire existence because your human self wasn't meant to do that. There are some things that have been chosen by your soul self that are destiny, that they're happening no matter what. It's a destiny point. There are some people who are meant to come in and leave it no matter what. So sure, you can kick, you can scream, you can cry, that's not going to change what destiny has in store for you. You have to say start owning the truth.

Don't let the truth own you. You own the truth. Make the truth your bitch. If you try lying to yourself, well they are my soul ma, well they were meant to be forever, they were meant to be my husband. Actually, you don't know that. You're running your mouth off of falsity. What are you even saying? What are you even saying? And I know everyone wants to be sweet with you right now, everyone wants to just give you a comfortable space to lay down your head. I'm not gonna lie

to you. You like to lie to yourself apparently, but I'm not going to do that. I don't have time for that. Okay, you need to own the truth. So if this is a breakup, if you never even got into a relationship and this is just a situationship, you need to stop sugarcoating what this is. Sure, maybe they were your soulmate, but they're not the type that's meant to stay forever. Maybe they were a heart activator to show you that there are still good men out there

to give you confidence to keep dating. Maybe they're meant to triger your old wounds. Maybe they're meant to show you that you're still in your masculine energy and they were very feminine. You have to start asking yourself, all right, what was I meant to learn here? What's the deeper truth? The good, the bad, and the ugly. Stop sugarcoating what this connection was, because if it was meant to be, it would be stop making excuses for them. But they

were so close, but I could see who they could be. Cool, Great, you have a good imagination. That's not who they are. And the problem is, when you exist within a higher vibration, you're able to see who that person could be if they shifted into your similar vibration. You're able to see who they could be without the coping mechanisms, without all the addictions, without them being literally narcissistic and having severe mental illness. You're able to see who they could be.

But that's not who they're choosing to be. So technically, you're in love with a fake person. You're in love with a ghost, You're in love with your own imagination. Oh well, that's weird, that's weird. What do you what are you doing? This ain't Texas? Okay, put them down, don't hold them, Stop holding onto this imaginary fake person. Put it down. Stop rewriting the story in your head. Because your mind will literally lie to you almost fifty percent of the time, just to try to get you

back to go towards what is familiar. It will want that dopamine, that kiss, that hug, that text, So it's going to tell you go back to them. Go back to them. Remember when they were good for that one Wednesday, and for the rest of the week they were terrible. Think about that one Wednesday, romanticize them, and go back to it. Your brain does not even remember things one hundred percent correctly, and when you remember something, you remember

the last time you remembered it. You don't even remember the actual event. So yeah, you gotta get your brain on board. You gotta start breaking down that brain barrier and saying, actually, I know that when I recall something, it's not one hundred percent accurate, and my brain is just starving for dopamine. How do you get dopamine? Read a book, read show up as her, take the twenty one day breakup glow up challenge, create something, go for a walk. You need to find a new vehicle to

get dopamine. This connection was real because you felt something. That means something. Okay, yes, but it doesn't mean it's right. So I'm not going to discount your intuition. I believe you you felt something deeply. I believe you. That does not mean you're meant to stay together forever. And that's what they don't teach you, and it's what I must tell you. You have to call it what it is. By the way, moving on doesn't always feel like a

great It doesn't always feel great. Do you think when I ended my seven year relationship, I was like titterlydly da da da da da da dad. This is so fun. I love this. I love breaking up with someone who's been my best friend very seven years. I love that I now have to go out and date all over again. But really, you're not starting over. You're just starting again because you have more information about yourself and dating in general. Oh I love that all my friends are getting engaged

in married and I'm now going to be single. I love that. This is so fun. Do you think that's what I was saying to myself. No, I thought, Oh, I guess I'm gonna die alone. Awesome. I cried day in and day out. I could not eat. I felt like a piece of paper floating in the wind, like a plastic bag floating in the wind. That's what I felt like. So you need to understand that making the right decision doesn't always feel right. Sometimes it feels like

absolute shit. Hmm, okay, awesome doesn't matter though, doesn't matter because on soul level, here you know this is what you need to do. Your mind doesn't want to do it. It's familiar, it's comfortable. Your mind wants to stay in that familiarity. But your soul knows it's what you need to do. You got to listen to your soul because your soul has a better understanding of your past, of

your present, and your future. Your soul has a better understanding of your past lifetimes and where you're going potentially in your next one. Your soul has a greater radar for what you've come to this planet to do. Your soul knows that if it's not this soulmate, it's gonna be a better one one that's more in alignment. Your soul knows if you pick a moldy grape, that's fine because there's a whole entire mine of other grapes, so you can flick that one away and pick a new grape.

The universe will always send you a backup, another soulmate. There's a never ending resource of people who have incarnated during this time as backups for you that will be better in alignment. Just because it hurts doesn't mean that it's wrong. Your nervous system is detoxing, especially during this nine nine nine portal and eclip season, we are releasing so many energies and thought forms and emotions from past lifetimes,

from this lifetime. We are going through it. And when you wring yourself out like a towbel it's not gonna always feel good. Do you think, also, when I ended things with this Karmac partner that was easy for me. You saw me hysterically cry through a whole entire podcast episode. Do you think it fell all the way right for me? No? I was hoping on some level, Oh, they'll reach out to me, we'll talk it out, it will be fine. But I knew. I knew to pull away on a

soul level. So our brain wants them to reach out. Our brain wants them to call us, Our brain wants to reconnect. Our soul knows no, it is not the right thing to do. So sure, your body might be craving them or the chaos, but your higher self knows better. You need to have faith over fear. Pain is temporary, and you are having this pain right now in service of greater joy later. You're breaking away now in service

of a greater relationship later. When I ended the seven year relationship, I've ended mostly all my relationships really, and I hate doing it because I'm a lover girl and I know that about myself. But I also know that means I love myself the most and I'm not going to settle in places that I'm not meant to be planted. It's not happening. So maybe this pain is temporary, but my piece that I have that will be permanent. I go to sleep every single night with peace in my

soul knowing that I'm going to get divine union. Maybe it wasn't my exes, maybe it wasn't the last guy I dated, but I'm going to get it. Yeah, I'm going to get exactly what I want, and I'm going to have faith over fear. Period. Crying every day is still progressed. Crying is alchemy because you're releasing, blocking their number, muting them, whatever you need to do, do it out

of sight, out of mind. It really does help pretend that they're unlive if you have to have a funeral for them, Technically they are unlive because they're no longer a part of your reality. And if you stop feeding something with your attention, it does cease to exist in your reality. Okay, that is what quantum physics shows us

tears don't mean that you're doing something wrong. Feeling like you are doing something wrong still doesn't mean you're doing something wrong, because your body is going to create familiarity. I think it's really helpful to release as much as you can during this season. So whether you have to watch reality television and cry along with the people who are getting cheated on and all these terrible things happening to them, or you want to listen to sad music.

I with this karmic relationship. Listen to Eternal Sunshine over and over and over again. As I was driving out east for my cousin's wedding, and on my way there, I just said to myself, I need to cry this out, and I need to do it again and again and again until I release it. Give yourself permission to feel. Feeling is healing. It's the bridge to greater peace and magnetic energy. So feel to heal. It's not a bad thing. That's energy leaving your body. Now. Some distractions are fine,

but it cannot be twenty four to seven. What I mean by some distractions, I mean being around friends and family, Okay, going outside, getting dinner, getting yourself out of your house, putting on makeup, putting on an outfit. That really does shift your energy, and it can sometimes show you, look, there's other people out there, or you have people who love you and support you. If you have someone to go out with or spend time with, go do it. Go,

do that workout class, sweat out that energy. And if you don't. For me, sometimes I don't really like talking about what I'm going through because a lot of people in my reality are not living a similar one, so they don't understand what I mean by karmic relationship. They don't understand when I say these things that I'm feeling. So what do I do. I work with energy healers,

I work with shawmans, I work with coaches. So if you're going through this and you don't have someone to talk to, book a one on one session with me. I will help you through it. We will tap into your energy, we will shift your energy and get you back on your pedestal. Sometimes it is hard for us to hold our own energy. Let me help you and I will pick it up with you. You're not meant to hold it alone. The next thing you have to do is release the fantasy that you built up in

your own brain. As women, it's so easy for us to not just date someone in the present, but start to think how our future is going to look. We're gonna live in this house, We're gonna have this family, We're going to have this type of life together. Yeah, you gotta let that go. You gotta let that go. There's a better vision for you. You just can't see it yet. There's a better life for you. You just

can't see it yet. One of the hardest parts of releasing people is releasing who we thought they were and the life we thought we're going to have with them. You're not just moving on from him, you're moving on from the story you wrote in your own head. Feels like an ego death to me. So maybe we have to take out a pen and paper, and maybe we need to make two columns, and maybe we need to write down the version we created in our head versus

what's actually showing up. And then I swear I tell all my friends to do this, and I have this for every single one of my exes. Write down based on the version that they're showing up as, not as who you think they could be, based on the version that they're showing up as write down why you made the right decision. They couldn't show up for me. They're verbally abusive. They couldn't see me, they couldn't understand me. We don't have similar values. Write down why you made

the right decision. And every time your brain's gonna want to go back and tell you, oh, dopaminehit, dopamin hit, you're gonna remind yourself, no, this is actually what was, not what my brain is trying to tell me, because it's craving dopamine. Every thought, stock or scroll is like plugging your energy into their outlet. It keeps them charged and it keeps you depleted. Instead, you got to start reclaiming that juice for yourself. In this relationship, most likely

there was some sort of exchange of energy. It could have been just through conversation, or it could have been through being intimate with them. That's fine, but you need to start calling your energy back from them. You need to start cleansing. So maybe you get white sage or Pello santo and cleanse your aura, your field, your body every single day. Maybe you get a rose quartz crystal and you hold onto that and remind yourself, I am in this love frequency with or without them, and I'm

going to get divine union with or without them. And when you call your power back, you're going to say, I lovingly and peacefully call all all of my power back to me now from and state their name. If you want to take this up a notch, say I lovingly and peacefully call all my power back to me from every person, place, dimension and timeline, person place, dimension and timeline, and you can make this your own. That's

what I did. And when you do that every single day, maybe you have to do it multiple times a day, you're gonna start to feel more and more whole. But understand, every time that you're tracking their social media, you're looking at their whatever pictures of you two together, you're looking at their Snapchat score, whatever it may be. Every time you're doing that, it's like you're giving them money. They broke your heart and now you want to make them

energetically richer. That's weird. That's weird. I would stop doing that if I were you. Instead, when you call your power back, when you refocus on you, that's like you making money. Girl, math, thank you so much. You have to see this as your graduation. It's not an ending. It's not a death, it's a rebirth. You are moving into a completely new energetic tax bracket. You're not losing your leveling up. The universe has to make space for someone you're more in alignment with, and this is kind

of fun. This is kind of great, like ooh, you get to release this person just to get someone who's more in alignment, funnier, kinder, wiser, perhaps hotter and richer. I don't know. I don't make the rules. I don't make the rules. It's energetic law. That doesn't sound too bad. Actually, that doesn't sound too bad. Yeah, you have to think of this as a graduation, not a punishment, because that's what it actually is. No man is your friend, no man is your enemy. Every single man is a portal

to the next version of yourself. Maybe the ceremony hurts a bit, but this diploma is taking you straight to freedom, a high vibrational relationship with yourself, with your life, with other partners, and when you release them, you open the floodgates not just to other love partners, but abundance, health, happiness. You're gonna start to notice that because you've taken your energy back instead of trying to fight for someone who does not want or have the capacity to be in

your reality. You now have a lot more energy to put into that creative endeavor. You now have a lot more energy to write that book. You now have a lot more energy to do your job. And so abundance will always follow that, especially when you're choosing yourself. Trauma bonds are like energetic nicotine. They keep you hooked. Your system thinks it needs a chaos, but it does not. So sometimes you're gonna need a quick, very quick embodiment shift.

So shake your body out, scream into a pillow, dance to a song. Maybe we're dancing to Beyonce. I did that a lot when I ended my seven year relationship at the three year mark. Lemonade, so good, shake your ass, shake your body, stop your feet, Scream into a pillow, go for a run, Let the energy out. Whether it's working out, crying, or doing just body movements, this is

all going to help. And tell yourself it's safe for me to let go, it's safe for me to release, it's safe for me to move on because your body thinks it's not. So you are not just your inner child, you're also this wise inner adult. Tell yourself. What's up. Remember we're not sugarcoating in this season. Heartbreak is not some sort of ending. It's an initiation. The ache you feels proof that you love deeply. That's a beautiful ability. I'm so proud that you are able to lead with

your heart. And now you're being redirected for someone to meet you where you're at. Meet you in your depth, meet you in your love. This is rocket fuel to get you into the deepest connection with yourself, with the universe and with another. Pain is proof of power waiting to be activated. So what do you do? You alchemize that pain, go to the workout, give your self time and space to use that energy. Get creative. What is something you used to love to do? Get back into it.

Whether it's high vibe or low vibe, energy is energy and you can use it as you want. Sometimes we do have to lose people in order to learn how to love ourselves, in order to learn where we're still hurting. You are not what you have lost, because you don't lose, you only level up. You are not what you have lost. You are what you're about to find in yourself. Moving on isn't about acting stone cold It's not about being the chill girl or the cool girl. It's not even

about never thinking about them again. It's about no longer leaking your life force to someone who can't meet you in your depth, and therefore someone who just doesn't deserve you. You deserve to know how cool you are, how amazing you are, how magnetic you are. So take this season to find out who it is you truly are. I love you so much all the sparkle and ME honors all the sparkle in you. Don't forget to get your copy of Show Up as Her. If you're going through

a heartbreak, this is going to help you. Join the twenty one day break Up Globe Challenge. This is going to help you. And if you want further guidance, you can DM me now on Instagram and I can give you some more information on one on one coaching. I will see you in the next one.