257. He Would’ve Made You Ugly: Energy Harvesters

or of our reality. Just as the moon affects the tides, we are also affected by these shifts. Don't forget we are about seventy five percent water. While these planetary systems can have an effect on us because law of correspondence, as above, so below. It's an important fact to remind yourself daily. You have the most power over your own damn reality. So honor and acknowledge the feelings, the thoughts, the patterns that are coming up, but don't allow them

to take you over. Absorbing is not the name of the game. Okay, this is not the time to absorb everything.

It's really the time to observe, observe, don't absorb. This past weekend, I was triggered in a recent connection that I have, and I caught myself really in my head, not present with my friends, and identifying with the version of myself that I used to be when I was totally anxiously attached and in my seven year relationship, questioning the connection, questioning myself, feeling like I wasn't on my own pedestal, and I really had to take time to

just rest, reflect, and regroup. This wasn't meant to be a thorn in my side, but really an invitation for me to remember all that I've been through, an invitation for me to remember, cci, you did not get this far just to get this far. This is how you used to be, and it's reminding you you're never going back to that version of yourself. I caught myself in an older identity and not speaking up enough for what

it is I truly needed. I couldn't even hear my own thoughts because so much was going on around me that I had a stop, I had a nap, and I had to slow the hell down. It had me thinking a lot about energy harvesters and how I want to use my energy. So many of us find ourselves stuck in a relationship, whether it be coworker, friendship or intimate, where we're giving so much of our energy away and

we start to feel burnt out, depleted. We lose our glow, we lose our joy, we lose that pep in our step, We lose our ability to create, to feel in the present moment and just have fun. I want you to understand that no one can harvest your energy unless you give it to them in the first place. I'm going to say that again, no one can harvest your energy unless you give it to them in the first place. Too many of us are giving our energy by giving

people who don't deserve our attention all of our focus. Today, we're going to talk about how some people in our reality they are not just quote unquote toxic, they are physiologically toxic to your body. They're not just wasting your focus and attention, They're draining your life force energy. That's why you're noticing not only do you not feel good, but you're starting to notice physical effects are taking over.

Some people are simply not worth you getting ugly and whoever you just thought about when I said that is the exact person who you need to cut cut out of your orbit. We're gonna break down how stress in relationships is not just something emotional, something mental, it's physiological. You're about to understand how your body catches on before your mind does, and how important is to listen to those internal cues before we get into it. What's up,

positive bitches? How are you doing today? If you're hearing this episode, then you are meant to be here, So keep listening on that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, Baby, we're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered positive bitch self that is babe in true connection with herself, himself or human self. On this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into exactly who we came here

to be. Some gentle reminders. If you would like to work one on one with me, I'm a certified life and energy coach Ricky practitioner. You can d n me now on Instagram at vibe at CC. My link is in the show notes. If you've not yet gotten your copy of Show Up as Heard. This is my book that was released last year. It's basically this podcast, but on steroids and its in physical forms. You can highlight, you can notate. We talk a lot about this book on this podcast, so it's super helpful to take out

your book when we're talking and follow along. If you're not ready to work one on one but you do want to dip your toe in. I have a pallethora of different courses. The shadow Alchemy course is going to be really prevalent for today's episode if you're looking to pair something with this podcast. Without further ado, let's get into today's episode. Let's start with the science. Because glow

downs don't lie. They don't lie. Your body truly keeps the score, but she'll also reflect the score in present time. We don't need to wait two years down the line where we get autoimmune disease. We can just start noticing right now when something feels out of alignment. When you're constantly stressed by a man, a woman, a coworker, your cortisol level spike, and when your cortisol goes up, everything else plummets. Your digestion, your sleep, your skin, your clarity.

There's a reason why they call the parasympathetic nervous system rest and digest. When your relax, you're able to digest, you're not as bloaated, Your skin can renew itself easier, better, Your whole entire system works for you more efficiently. But when you're stressed out in your sympathetic nervous system, your cortisol is skyrocketing. You don't digest because your body thinks it's being chased by alliance, so digestion is not first

on the docket. Your body doesn't have time to clear itself of any toxin, so your skin starts to get really puffy clogged. Your body is not going to renew itself be glowing when it constantly thinks you're being chased by a tiger, and that tigre is the guy that you're dating, because he is an emotional wreck, which is making you an emotional wreck. He's being inconsistent, So now you're getting stressed out. When cortisol increases, bloating increases, breakouts increase,

hair thinning increases. Why because your body doesn't have time to rest and digest, it doesn't have time to renew itself, to restore itself. We renew and restore when we're sleeping, when we're resting, dysregulation shows up on your face in hives. It shows up in your stomach as bloating, dullness, acne, inflammation, backache, tired but wired. Look, it's not you, that's the stress that is being created within you because of the connections in your life. If you went from radiance and relaxed

to edgy and exhausted, that's not vanity, that's vitality. Beauty is an inside job, and your glow is a reflection of your peace. Your beauty is a mere mirror of your nervous system, your calmness. I'm telling you, it's your currency, and your piece is the best, most expensive serum that you can possibly find on this planet. It's actually priceless. No one is worth you getting ugly, feeling depleted, getting crazed. No one is worth you stepping back into past negative behaviors, patterns, habits.

No one is worth that. If he's already stressing you out, get out now. If he's already stressing you out, he's gonna make you ugly in the end. Anyway, Just get out now. If you've been dating him for three months, imagine what you're gonna look like in three years. If you're already noticing your glow is gone. You have no energy to see your friends. Even when you are with your girlfriends, you can't focus on your job, or your friends or the manny petty. You can't focus on anything

else but how up and down your relationship is. Get out now, go go get out, And if you're a man, do the same. Get out. If you're going through a breakup, congrats, okay, because now you can find someone who's healthier for you, more in alignment, hotter, wealthier, I just better all around, who's not going to stress you out. Because truly, the right relationship will make you glow from the inside out. The wrong one will deteriorate to you. I've been in them,

and you know what happened. I got dermatitis, I was constantly bloated, and I had weight that would not be released from my my body because subconsciously I didn't feel safe enough to release the weight. I needed that extra layer, a fat on my body to protect me from my external world because I didn't feel safe. You don't realize the physiological effects that relationships that take from you have on your body. Now I want to remind you you

have the most power in your life. So, whether it's a mercury retrograde or you're dating someone who kind of sucks, you have the most power. What are you gonna do your powers in the present moment. It doesn't matter what you tolerated yesterday. What are you going to tolerate today? You might be complaining about energy harvesters, but why are you continuously connecting to them? Why are you continuously giving them your focus, your attention, your energy. You want to

have that glow up. It starts with cutting them off or giving them less of your time. What does an energy harvester actually look like? Because maybe you don't even know how to spot them. Let me clear this up for you. An energy harvester focuses on problems, not solutions. They are chaos creators. There's always a problem, always a new drama, always something that they're annoyed about. They leave you second guessing yourself. You're questioning them, how they feel

about you, the relationship where you stand. They need constant validation but give none in return. They need you to solve their problems for you, but are never there for you when you need a safe space. They drain you emotionally, spiritually, and physically. What I've noticed with energy harvesters is they don't actually want to be with you. They want to be you. Some people want to study your energy because they envy your sparkle, your confidence, your unique channel. They

envy your connection to source. Maybe you've built a business and they want to build their business up, so they're looking at you to try to siphon off your energy. They might not even know that they're doing this, but they have a need to use your energy to try to make themselves better. They want to siphon your shine because they don't know how to connect to the divine by themselves. They don't want to protect you. They want to possess you. They don't want to honor your magic.

They want to harness it. They're looking at you to be their battery. They're not here to create a safe space for you. They aren't here to pour into you. They're here to plug into you, to treat you like a power outlet because they don't have a current of their own. Now, let's be really clear, because there's a difference between a mirror and an energy harvester. A mirror

is going to reflect your shadows so you grow. They're going to face you with your own behavior, so you're like, damn, that is so uncomfortable to be on the other side of that behavior. I need to change, I need to grow. A mirror is going to motivate you. They're going to show you your light, They're going to show you you're dark, and ultimately they are going to inspire you to become a better version of yourself. An energy harvester straight up

feeds on your light so they can glow. And once you give them your energy, you're gonna notice they do better in their business. More women are attracted to them. They are now with a whole new personality that actually is just your personality that they copy and pasted. One activates a mirror activates you. They activate awareness, your spiritual awakening. They might push you into a new creative endeavor. The other one just takes from you, depletes you, makes you exhausted.

If you're noticing that you're constantly depleted after you talk to this person, you really don't want to hang out with them. You're trying to convince yourself of all the good things on paper about them, even though you feel terrible when you're with them. You don't ever feel like they can hold a safe space for you. They're chaotic, They are constantly telling you what you're doing wrong. They try to place blame on you for not actually doing anything.

You have to understand this is an energy harvester and they are here in your life to really invite you to choose yourself. Now, maybe you're thinking, cce, why am I even attracted to these types of relationships. Let's go deeper. One of the reasons you might be attracted to energy

harvesters is because you confuse connection with chaos. If all you've ever known in your relationships with your parents, with your coworkers, with your friends, with your siblings, past loved ones, is chaos, you're going to assume that chaos is love, that this Cortisol party is love. But that's not true. You're just thinking that. You're assuming that that is what your past experiences have shown you. But your future, your present,

doesn't have to look like that anymore. You have to start telling yourself that love is safe, love is calm. Love is not something that's envious or jealous or mean. It's something that's grounded in clarity. It makes me think of that Bible verse. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast, It is not proud, It does not dishonor others. It's not self seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs. To me, that is the most beautiful definition of what

love is. So if love right now to you is chaos, depletion, ups and downs, angry, mean, that's not love. That's chaos confused for connection. Another reason you might be attracting energy harvesters is because your self worth is dictating what you believe you're allowed to have. If you have a low self worth, low self wis you don't think you're worthy of a protector and a provider who's grounded. Well, those beliefs will be reflected back to you in your external reality.

You have to work on building yourself up. You have to work on affirming no, I am worthy of a grounded love, I am worthy of peace. And we've done so many episodes on raising our confidence. If you want guidance on that, get the Pedestal Path course. It's going to help you rewire yourself for a successful grounded relationship. It's not always about trauma bonding. It could also be you have such a bright light magnetic energy, and people can feel your healing energy, so the people who need

energy are automatically attracted to you. We live in an energetic universe. People can feel who is the most energetic, the most magnetic in the room, and if someone is needing energy, they're going to be subconsciously attracted to the person with the most light in the room. This doesn't mean you give them your energy, your time, your focus, your attention. Sometimes it can even just be that someone's

coming into your life to clean up karmic cycles. Maybe your soul has a soul contract with this person and that contract included lessons, But it doesn't mean that you're meant to stay. I do believe that every soulmate is meant to arrive, not all are meant to stay, and that's something you have to make peace with. Instead of measuring your connections by the duration, measure them by the depth, by the lessons you learn, by what you take away from them, by the person you get to become because

of them. I feel the core of attracting energy harvesters in your life is actually just initiation. Initiation to wake up, initiation to reclaim your power, Initiation to step into that power. An initiation to stop outsourcing your worth and remember who you are. Initiation to go from seeking extra validation to going inside of your own being and saying, actually, I'm inherently worthy. I'm going to show up how I want. You didn't attract this because you're broken or there's something

wrong with you. You attracted it because you're simply ready to heal. You're ready to be faced with the deepest, darkest parts of yourself that need to be reclaimed. You're ready to evolve, You're ready to remember. This experience isn't breaking you down, it's breaking you open. It's not setting you back, it's setting you up. It's really not about what's happening in your three D reality, but how you're

choosing to respond. If you want to reclaim your glow, you have to start saying no. Say it with me. If I want to reclaim my glow, I have to start saying no. If I want to reclaim my glow, I have to start saying no. If I want to reclaim my glow, I have to start saying no.

their step that is there because of you. And now repeat after me. I lovingly and peacefully call all of my power back to me now, and imagine your white light energy leaving their body out of the top of their head and going back into your body down to your sacral center, this energy vortex orange and color right below your belly button. And breathe this in. Let's do

it again. I lovingly and peacefully call all of my power back to me now and imagine the white light energy leaving their body from the top of their head, going in the top of your head down to your sacral center, orange energy vortex right below your belly button. And this energy vortex is glowing and growing and pumping

and stirring. Oh yeah, breathe that in. And once more, I lovingly and peacefully call all of my power back to me now, and once more, you see this white light energy leaving their body from the top of their head, going back into your top of your head, down to your sacral center, orange energy vortex, swirling and whirling and turning on and activating and breathe it in. You have to realize a lot of these people are operating from subconscious wounds. It's not that they're out to get you.

It's that they are so depleted that they need someone to feed on. But you are not that bitch. You're a positive bitch, and a positive bitch puts people on energetic diets when she realizes that they're taking too much of their energy. Why because they can't take it unless she's giving it up. They can't steal it from you unless you're willingly handing it over. So you have to take accountability over your own focus and your own attention.

Everyone's so scared of narcissists and scared of energy harvestars. Okay, they have no power over you unless you allow them to have power over you. This is your reality. A codependent has just as much power in the dynamic as the narcissist. The codependent is just handing it over, Wake up and smell the matrix. Stop listening to these liars, to these people who don't know what they're talking about.

This is an energetic universe. You want to reclaim your reality, reclaim your focus, and you will be in a time being. I'm telling you that right now. To reclaim your glow, you have to start saying no. This might mean different things for different people. It might mean just talking to this person less, not answering all of your cousins, your mothers, your sisters calls. Oh yeah, you got to protect your energy because you came here on your own mission. Decenter

everyone else. I know it can sound harsh, but you came here for you. Decenter everyone else. This is your life, your reality. You want to see it be successful. You better lock in. No one else is going to make you successful. It's only up to you. So you better feed things that have a high return on investment. Maybe this means going no contact with someone. Maybe this means learning that you have to ground yourself. You need to put your feet onto planet Earth and get some negative

ions which will have a positive effect on you. Maybe this means stops scrolling on your phone and instead go to a workout class. Maybe this means stop checking their Instagram, their Snapchat, score, their location, mute them, delete their location from your phone. There are boundaries you need to have in place, not just with other people, but with your damn self. You want to be successful, You want to be on your own pedestal. Okay, you need to have

self boundaries. No more checking their location, no more checking if they're texting you, no more checking if they're watching your story. Instead post what you want for you. Check your intention at the freaking door. Why are you doing what you're doing just so they see it, so they notice you? Are you that desperate? I didn't think so. Jesus already died on the cross for you. Do you really need another man to choose you? I mean, be so for real, Be so for real and choose yourself instead.

You might need to choose your peace over their potential. No more, but they could be. But what if no, no, if they're not doing it right now? That other version of themselves doesn't exist yet, and they might choose to never activate it. So choose your piece over who you think they can be. Choose your piece over their potential, because that potential doesn't yet exist. In fact, now that we're talking about it. Where's your potential? What are you doing? Yeah?

Why don't you replug into that? When you do this, Ah, you're gonna notice that your energy is feeding things that are actually growing instead of you trying to grow bad like build a bear. You're gonna start growing your career, your body, your health. Why don't you cook yourself and nurturing meal. That's what I've been doing. I've been cooking healthy, organic food for my physical vessel instead of trying to

mother him. Why don't you remother yourself? And you're gonna notice your face softens, your radiance returns, your intuition gets louder, your inner child feels safe again. You start sleeping better, eating better, breathing better. Because the truth is your glow is divine feedback. It is your body saying thank you for choosing yourself again. It's energetic sovereignty. You finally become your own source instead of the supply to be fed on by another. You stop being someone's meal and you

start being your own medicine. You stop being addicted to crumbs and you start feasting in your own damn light. You have to protect your peace because it's your Priceless Beauty serum. You need to protect your calm because it's your priceless beauty serum. Nothing will make you as beautiful as your piece, as your space, as your own energy,

as your own light. Now I have been reminded because I'm currently menstruating in case anyone wanted to know, and I think that society has placed such a negative connotation over our twenty eight day cycle and it can hit you hard emotionally, especially the luteal phase and menstruation that's when we get more into our feelings. But you have to recognize that when you're menstruating and your luteal phase, that's when your most psychic. That's when you get the

most queued into internal body feelings energetic feedback. So if you're extra annoyed at certain people when you're menstruating or in your luteal phase, it's not because you're just some crazy bitch. It's your body's feedback telling you that this person needs to have less space in your life. It's your body telling you that this person isn't in alignment with you. There's a reason why you're extra crunchy around

certain people. It's because it's your body's feedback telling you, hey, you're extra tuned in right now, you're literally releasing from your body. Menstruation and luteal phase is all about going inward hermiting. It actually aligns with mercury retrograde. It's about reanalyzing the connections you have the people in your life.

If you're going through a menstruation or alludeal phase, you need to be paying extra attention to what your dreams are saying, to what your feelings are saying, and write it down. You are missing out on cosmic intuitive truths if you are ignoring it, if you're just taking the advil and running to your nine to five, if you're just on birth control and completely unplugged from your cycle. I am not a doctor and do whatever you want. I personally don't believe in birth control because it cuts

you off from your natural cycle. It cuts you off from your own intuitive knowings. When you're menstruating, you are the most connected to your intuition. That's why you need the most rest and the most restoration. But there are divine messages that are waiting for you to hear them, and you can't hear them if you're shutting them off.

If you're numbing yourself, and so many of us just keep giving, giving to other people, hoping it's going to fulfill some sort of hole that's already within us, when really the only thing that's going to fulfill that hole is you focusing on God, learning how to channel your unique perceive you, grounding yourself, you attending to yourself, you cooking yourself that nurturing meal. I want to raid you

a part of my book on page one thirty. The second hurdle we must overcome when we're taking our place on our pedestal is pushing everyone else we originally put there off. Don't worry the land on a plush cloud. It's your tombaby. We must address the energy vampires. Energy vampires are those who suck out all your energy. That's also an energy harvester. Energy vampires don't have to be people. It can be social media, the news. These are all

forms of energy vampires. To place yourself on your pedestal, you must make some room every time you feel depleted. I want you to make a note of it. Over time, you will have a list of what is depleting you, and you will therefore be equipped to notice patterns and triggers. Once you identify the triggers, you can either avoid them or place a boundary there. If talking on the phone for two hours is draining, you tell your friends that you have work to do, or you are limiting your

phone time. If social media makes you feel insecure, don't allow yourself to scroll for hours. Positive bitch tip. We are created equal, but not everyone or everything deserves our equal attention. We are not slaves to other people, and we will not let them take us on an emotional rollercoaster. It's our life, our pedestal, and our destiny to create. Cutting out or limiting energy vampires in your life allows you to have more energy, time, and space for things

that make you feel alive. The third hurdle is staying on your pedestal. There will be times when others limiting beliefs have been projected onto you and might push you off your pedestal. It's our responsibility to pluck these toxins from our pedestal and drain them from our energetic field. I used to feel completely uncomfortable going out in public when I had a breakout on my face. I thought I had to go everywhere with makeup on. It was

so annoying and felt limiting to me. Then I realized, why am I doing this if it doesn't feel good to me? I asked myself, who made me feel unworthy when I look this way? Is this my own thought? Or do I really think I can't go out in public when I have a breakout. Once I confronted the thought, I knew it wasn't mine to begin with. I stop believing this thought. I stopped feeding it. I kicked it off my pedestal. Positive bitch tip interrupt the thoughts that

make you feel less. Then let the thoughts other people have fed you starve out and die. They cannot survive if you do not nourish them. Nourish the thoughts you want to feel and see in your life. When those types of thoughts come up, say this isn't mine. I'm

not going to own that thought. If you have adopted thoughts or behaviors patterns from these energy harvesters who try to steal your light and make you feel small, They try to make you feel insecure, They try to knock you off your pedestal and make you think that you're not powerful. Give those thoughts back. If you received a gift you didn't like, you would return it. If you received negative limiting beliefs that you don't like, return them and simply say back to sender, I released all that

no longer serves me. This podcast is your divine confirmation that you're not crazy for leaving someone, even if they look good on paper. You're not crazy for leaving someone just because something feels off. Babe, the call is coming from inside the house. You're not overreacting from walking away from just potential. You're not dramatic, you are discerning. Your standard should be high. Hello, have you match yourself? Your body knows what your heart sometimes doesn't yet want to admit.

If he would have made you ugly, let him go now, because, Babe, you were born to glow. As always, the sparkle in me honors to sparkle in you. I'm sending you all the love in the world. If you enjoy this podcast, send it to a friend, a family member, or a loved one that might need it. Please leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. If this episode was resonating with you, and I will see you in the next one you see. Pana, I'm sorry. I can sing

into energy. You can't see shape. How come how can that gategy? No, we can't step