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What's up?
Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing this episode, then you are meant to be here, So keep listening on that Bitch is Positive podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, baby Girl, We're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered positive bitch self. That is Babe, but in true connection with herself. On this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into exactly who we came here
to be. Today, I am answering your questions you submitted on my Instagram at vibein with CC. If you're not yet following me there, you want to make sure to follow me on Instagram at VIBINWOODCC. The link will be in the bio so you can stay up to date with all things magnetic energy. We are gonna be talking about dating, relationships, how to heal, and so much more in today's episode. I don't even know the questions I'm gonna be answering yet because I am doing it in
real time. But before we get into it, a couple of announcements. If you've not yet joy in shadow alchemy. Be sure to join in shadow alchemy. Today's literally when you're listening to this on October seventeenth is a full moon. Full moons are all about releasing what no longer serves you. Shadow alchemy is about releasing what no longer serves you and bringing your shadow to the light. What is a
full moon but fully lit? It is all of this energy that we can use to help us in the process of releasing, releasing shame, releasing doubt, releasing out dated programming, releasing that relationship, releasing feelings for another. This is the perfect time to do it.
We've been so.
Lucky with eclipse after eclipse. Now we have a full moon. This last half of twenty twenty four is really a moment to release everything before we get into next year. It's like they're serving us this energy on a silver platter. It could not be more phenomenal. Take this time, do the shadow work, and you want to get this done before I release my next course, which is all about the art of alchemy. We go even further into you
taking your pain and turning it into power. But before you do that, you want to get the bones of shadow alchemy. The link will be in the show notes. Another system that could support you right now is twenty one Day Breakup Glow Up Challenge. If you are going through any sort of breakup, whether it's you just can't get over the guy from chemistry class, you are going through a breakup even though you were never even in
a real relationship but it felt like one. The twenty one Day Breakup Glow Up course will really help you reclaim your power, your perception, your awareness, and your energy. Whatever you're going through, I probably have a workbook or a course that can help you through it. So look through the show notes, see what's there, see if anything
resonates with you. If you're looking for one on one guidance, you can DM me on Instagram and I can tell you more how I can aid you in your process of unbecoming who you are not so you can fully step into exactly who you came here to be without further ado. Let's get into today's episode because I want to get to your questions.
First question, where can I.
Meet men other than dating apps or the gym apps?
Can be draining?
Okay, if you want to win, you have to place yourself in a position to do so. Certain positions will set you up for failure, and certain positions will set you up for success. If your current places that you're going to aren't conducive to meeting men, you need to change the environments in which you're going. I started doing golf for my mindset because I really missed having a sport. I used to be on a tennis team, and I don't have that anymore. So I started doing golf. Lo
and behold, what am I doing? Meeting so many more men? Think about it. It's not that hard. That wasn't even necessarily my intention, But it is a side effect of just going to a new place.
You meet new people.
I started taking energy classes, new environments, I'm meeting new people. You want to look for environments, events, anything where it's going to be like minded people going to these events. Use event bright That is a website where you can look up local events in your area to see what's going on. Is there a festival, Is there some sort of like minded yoga group happening on the beach. When you set the intention I want to go to more events where like minded people are, that will start to
manifest in your three D reality. Think about the observer effect. This was something in quantum physics that they have discovered. When an observer aka the scientist was looking at a wavelength, the wavelength collapsed into an electron. But when the scientist the observer looked away, that electron went back into the wavelength form. It went back into an energetic form.
What is this tell us?
This shows us that when you observe something, it changes the nature of it and it knows it's being observed. When you observe an idea, an intention, a desire, it collapses from just this energy, this vapor like thing out there. It collapses from an energy wavelength into three D physical matter. If you want a quantum leap, if you want to manifest something, you have to set an intention for it to come into your life. How do you start anything? How do you do anything? You have to set an
intention first. How do I move my arm? I have to intend to do so. How do you pull in new experiences? You have to intend to do so. I want you literally commanding the energy around you. I am invited to new environments, and when you're invited, you have to go. You have to say yes. I am placed in a position to succeed in meeting new people. I'm always at the right place at the right time to meet the best people for me. When I'm out, people
will naturally come up to me. They're naturally attracted to my energy. If you keep going to the same bars, the same restaurants, you're gonna keep getting the same results. So switch up your location, sign up for a new class, sign up for a sport, do something that you're actually interested in. Don't just go to meet people, because that's sending way too much energy. Go to things that you want to experience, and while you're there, you're going to
meet people who are also like you. I also have to say we have to respect the law of rhythm, that everything has its ebb and flow. Everything is occurring in divine timing. Your higher self and your soulmates, high yourself, they're already connecting the dots on how they're gonna push you together.
You don't have to do so much. And it's a delicate dance.
It's a balance between I'm gonna put myself out there, I'm going to place myself in a position to succeed, but also not forcing it because it's frequency over force. What I mean by this is you don't have to tell yourself that it's all up to you. As much as you want this relationship, the relationship also wants you. As much as you're praying for your soulmate, they're also praying for you. Their higher self and your higher self
are figuring out the details. You don't have to do everything, because then it puts you into a chaser energy, a masculine energy, and then you end.
Up repelling people.
So we want to respect the law of rhythm and respect the season that we're in. Well, maybe this is a season where I'm meant to fall in love with the process of creation. Maybe this is a season where I'm meant to learn more about myself. Maybe this is a season where I'm meant to dive deeper into this side hustle or this job because it's going to be part of my life's purpose. Infect the season you're in
and squeeze it out like a towel. Get everything you can get from it, All of the juice you can possibly get, you're gonna want to get because you don't want to skip steps. You don't want to skip seasons here, because then you're not going to be able to hold what is divinely meant for you. A lot of us think I want my soulmate right now. But if they came in, would you be able to hold them in
your life? Or would doubt, insecurity and fear overtake your system and you would self sabotage and then lose them. Respect the divine timing that's unfolding in your life, because divine timing is sent to help you, not to destroy you, but our ego and our fears, and if our systems are not ready, that will and can destroy us. Okay, let's get to the next question over here, breaking the cycle of male validation. If you want to break the cycle of needing an mail to validate you, you have
to start validating yourself. You have to ask yourself, what is it about male validation that is so intriguing to me? What is it about male validation that I crave? We only starve for something outside of ourselves when we're not giving it to ourselves in the first place. If you're starving for male validation, let's start with the validation part. I was literally just talking about this with a client today. I want you at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, or whenever
you eat to validate yourself. You'll remember to do so because you're gonna remember to eat, so then you'll remember to validate yourself too while you're eating. I'm so proud of myself for getting that job done at work. I'm so proud of myself for getting to that workout. I'm so proud of myself for finishing that book. I'm so proud of myself for doing the meditation.
If you want to.
Completely shift your self esteem, start using your voice to empower you rather than deplete you. Your voice no one else has it. You have a unique encoded frequency that's coming out of your body every single day. That is your voice. How are you using this divine instrument? Are you using it to disempower yourself? Because even if you're joking, your subconscious mind cannot take a joke, even self deprecating humor.
Your subconscious mind thinks is real. And then it takes this joke and it prints it out into your reality and then you begin to experience it. Your voice is the voice you are going to hear the most over the course of your life.
You have to wake up.
With yourself, hear yourself all day, and go to bed with yourself why not use your voice, this god given instrument, this innate ability to speak to empower yourself.
If we knew how.
Powerful words were, we would not use them so willy nilly. Every time you're speaking, you're casting spells. We're taking vibration words, we're encoding it, we're putting it out into the universe. This is literally magic. This is casting spells, and then we're seeing it in our reality. Validate yourself breakfast, lunch, and dinner every single day of your life. I created
something in my Pedestal Path course called Making Mind. And what you do is you listen to this ten minute audio every single day, and it's going to rewire your brain for you. It's going to give you new neurological
pathways for you to exist within. So if you're not sure how to speak to yourself, what to say, if you want an audio to do the work for you, get the Pedestal Path course and you will get the Making Mind audio file and you can listen to it every night, every month warning and it will completely shift how you see yourself and how you feel about yourself. How to heal with a narcissistic girlfriend who doesn't learn
from her mistakes and repeats her behavior patterns. This might be hard to hear, but just because you want to fix someone doesn't mean they want to be fixed. And by the way, the only person who can fix that person is themselves.
A lot of us are not reading the writing on the wall.
We may have grown up feeling like we had to fix mom and dad. We may have grown up feeling like we had to be the heart of the family, had to make sure that everyone is okay. And then what do we do in our intimate relationships. We copy and paste this dynamic and we think that if we can master it as an adult, that we're lovable and we're good enough and we're worthy. You have to understand that as energetically sick your girlfriend is, so are you. You are also part of this dynamic. You are also
feeding this dynamic. As much as your narcissistic girlfriend is fulfilling a role for you, you're also fulfilling a role for her. You need to take a step back, and you need to remember that the only person you can fix and heal is you. And if you're so badly wanting to fix someone, you need to be working on yourself.
That is not healthy.
I had one client today tell me how do I change my partner? And I told her it's not about changing your partner, It's about you shifting and seeing your partner from a higher vibrational perception. The problem with so many of us is where re enacting dynamics we had with our caregivers instead of building healthy dynamics as adults. You cannot fix another person. It's not gonna do whatever
you think it's going to do. It's so much easier to focus on someone outside of ourselves and say they're hurt, they need help, I need to heal them than it is to look at ourselves in the mirror and say, oh damn, it's me who needs to heal. It's me who's actually hurting. It's me who's still not over the fact that my dad was an alcoholic and I couldn't get him to change for me and therefore I feel unlovable. It's me who needs to take a step back. It's
frequency over forced. You cannot force people to do what you want them to do.
They have to want it.
Can people change, yes, but when they want to, when they realize they have a problem. Narcissists are born out of severe neglect, so then they have to go around saying how great they are, how grand they are, because that's the only way they can get validation. And because they're so engrossed in the fact they were neglected, they don't even have room for anyone else's emotions. It's not that a narcissist is evil or demonic or whatever it is.
The point is that's not your job, it's not your role, and you have to learn how to heal yourself so you're not attracted to this dynamic anymore. You have to learn how to say, you know what, I actually want more from myself. And I might love this person and they might be great, but I'm not here just to heal someone. I'm not here just to fix on I'm nobody's rehabilitation center. You can always speak up for yourself
and say, look, I'm getting to my wits end. I'm really having trouble dealing with some of the patterns that I'm experiencing. I love you, I want us to work this out. Let's go to couple's therapy, put an olive branch out, communicate, be honest. If they can't respond, if they can't go forward with that, then I think you'll have your answer. If you are in love, give it a try, go out on a limb. Let's go to couple therapy together. Let's both learn about our own problems.
But don't make it like it's just her that has something quote unquote wrong with.
Them or has a certain pattern.
You both have patterns, and you're both reaffirming one another's beliefs about themselves. Next question, what to do when someone pulls away from me? Celebrate, Scream on the top of your lungs that you're so grateful God is watching over you. Do not take it personal, take it vibrational. There is this universal rejection truth, and so many of us get so hurt when someone goes to us or doesn't respond. There could be a billion reasons why this isn't in energetic alignment with this other person.
They could be.
In a transition phase in their life and ready to have a relationship. That doesn't mean it's about you not being good enough. They could be dealing with their own emotional issues. That doesn't mean you're not good enough. They could not be ready for a relationship. That doesn't mean you're not good enough. They might just not be an energetic match, and that doesn't mean you're not good enough. They also might not be good for you, and your angels and the divine are trying to block them from
you to really help you in your growth process. You have to remember that as much as we can see of this physical world, there's so much more that lives in the unseen, energetic world. You have a whole entire team that's watching out for you, that's protecting you. It's not rejection, it's divine protection and redirection. You are being rerouted to either focus on you, focus on something you're building, or focus on another individual. I don't ever second guess
someone ghosting or it not working out. I celebrate, Oh yes, I'm so much closer to finding myself mate, Oh yes, I can focus on me instead of pouring into something that was gonna waste my time anyway. Honestly, it's kind of a green light to celebrate and refocus on yourself.
If it's not them, it's gonna be someone better.
What's the big to do if someone goests, if they leave your life, Okay, bye, thank you for not wasting my time. I personally do not ghost because I don't like to be ghosted. I think a lot of us are ghosting and getting mad when it happens to us. Don't embody what you don't want to receive, because the law of karma. When I know it's not an energetic match with someone, I send them a voice note, a dissertation if you will on why we're not in alignment?
Yes, and that's fine. That is it.
I will say we're at different life stages. I will tell them it feels more like a friendship level. I will tell them that, you know what, I just don't think we align morally, politically, or values, whatever it may be. It's not personal. It's vibrational. Everyone's just trying to figure out what's going to work for them. You can't be mad at them if they figure out that you're not in alignment with them. Celebrate the fact that you now have more room to let in someone who is going
to be for you. Would you rather them play you and act like they want you when they don't know? So it's a blessing. Keep it moving and grooving. It's a celebration. Next question, how to be in a continuous highest energy for every day? Ooh, I'll give you something I talk about in my book Show Up as Her. It's called positive Bititude activate. When I want to prime myself for a meeting, for an energy session, for a client, for a date.
Before I go, I say.
Positive Bititude activate activate activate, positive Bititude activate activate activate, positive Bititude activate activate activate. I will imagine white light energy piercing through the top of my head all the way down through my legs. I will see all of my energy being cleansed and clapping is a shamanic technique to shake out older energy, making room for new energy.
And when I.
Say positive Bititude activate, I am activating my highest vibrational energies of love, joy, freedom, fun, expansion. I'm commanding these energies to turn on. So even if I had a lousy day or a lousy week, when I do positive bititude activate, all of my energies are commanded. The positive ones are commanded to turn on. I visualize the white light, so I'm being cleansed and I'm shaking out any energy that needs to go.
Let's try it together.
Positive Bititude activate activate, activate, positive Bititude activate activate activate, positive Bititude activate activate activate Who puts me in a little tail span girl? If you want to learn more about that, you can get the book show up as her. That is in my show notes how to not rush and put energy when I find someone who has potential to be my husband.
Et cetera.
Well, I understand the excitement there, but you just don't know what you don't know. And I'm not saying this is the best sentence I've ever said, but I will say it it.
It's had a positive effect on me.
A crush is just a lack of information. So in the beginning stage, to avoid limerens and to avoid beginning to energetically chase them and then repelling them, remind yourself, ooh, a crush is just a lack of information. I don't actually know this person, and the reason I like them so much, the reason I've fallen in love with them and I've known them for two days, is because I'm feeling in their silences with my desires and fantasies. As is just a lack of information. Let me refocus on
what I do and do not know. I had a date recently, and when I came back home, I opened up my notebook and I wrote down everything I was feeling so that I could remember. Because I know myself, I am a lover girl. And if they're texting me and calling me during the week, and I tend to like people a lot over the phone for whatever reason. When they're doing that, I don't want to fall into I need to remind myself of the truth of the matter.
When you're next to someone on a date, you get a lot more energetic information than just on the phone. Because you're in their orc field and they're in yours. There's a lot more room to exchange energetic files. So after my dates, I come home and I write down everything what I liked, what I didn't like, red flags, green flags, and I congratulate myself for getting closer to a vibrational match of what I truly want.
I remind myself.
If there are no red flags, or there's nothing that I'm seeing that might be off, although I have to say there usually is something. No one's perfect. If you're looking for perfect, don't look for a partner. But if I find myself romanticizing them to be above and beyond, I remind myself, wait, I might be missing information here,
so let me not jump the gun. I also think as you get older, this naturally happens where you're so tired of going through the ups and the downs with other people that you no longer even want to romanticize them because you're tired of disappointment over time, You're tired of getting yourself so so high just to figure out, oh, that's not actually who you are, and then you have to go to this really low place. I think a lot of this just comes from experience, because pain is
a great teacher. And when you realize it's really painful to get my hopes up for someone and then realize that was my own fantasy is not who they actually are, you tend to just learn you don't do that anymore. But I would recommend saying a crush maybe just a lack of information. So before I fill in the blanks, let me just get to know this person. And they
might have potential. But potential is not enough. If they have a good job, a good mindset, good energy, okay, cool, they still have to make you feel loved and seen and valued. So let people show you who they are. Give it space and time. There really is not a rush. What is the rush? So you can rush into a marriage, figure out they're the wrong person, and then get divorced. I mean, sure, pick your avatar, do whatever it is
you want to do. But wouldn't you rather just take your time getting to know someone and let things unfold. Imagine it's actually not this person and it's someone else, and then you just rushed into this. Give yourself space and time to learn who they are, to feel out what you even want from them, and if it's a good match for you. Next question, how to stay focused on your goals, stay unbothered and be more disciplined with
what you want. If you want to work on fine tuning your energy and staying focused on you and building your life, I would recommend joining one of my courses because they're going to energetically tune you up to be more in alignment with your higher self rather than your programmed identity. I would recommend either the Shadow Alchemy course or the Pedestal Path. And then someone also asks how to remove the pain of a breakup from your heart. In that case, I would recommend the twenty one Day
Breakup Low Up Challenge. These courses not only will they help you subconsciously and energetically shift onto a new timeline, but they're gonna get give you something.
To do every day.
So it's a reminder to stay focused on you and feed yourself your own energy instead of worrying about Tom and Brad. You're gonna think, oh right, I gotta get to my course today. I need to focus on me. I need to feed myself my own energy. The more you feed yourself and your own energy, the more you're gonna realize how much you love feeding yourself your own energy, because you're gonna feel better, better, better, better, more magnetic, lighter, happier,
more joyful, expansive and free. But you don't know until you know, and you don't know what you don't know. So the thing is you have to just do sometimes and then you'll find out afterwards because you're gonna feel the energetic effect. I'm also gonna give you a mantra whether you want to stay focused, you're healing from a breakup, something you can start doing right now. Sign up for the course, but also ask the divine to help you. God take this sting out of my heart. God guide
my ability to stay focused. God allow me to be disciplined in a way that honors you. Ask God to help you. Ask your spirit guides to help you, whoever you work with, Ask that loving divine energy to help you stay on top of your goals. God, help my brain focus today, Help me stay disciplined, Help me focus, God, remove this sting from my heart. You're not pleading, you're not begging.
You're not well.
Maybe you're crying, but you're not pleading or begging. You're commanding. You're commanding the energies around you to penetrate and help you along your process. Oh. I want to say thank you. When I watch your reels, I take an involuntary deep breath.
Crazy. It makes sense you're releasing energy. I love that for you.
How do you heal the sword guilt and shame and remove it from your body? Join the shadow Alchemy course. I'm telling you we do. It's like forty minutes some shamanic body healing. It will remove the feelings of shame and doubt and insecurity from your body like nothing else. How to be okay with being alone? Honestly, I was just saying this today to this woman of how.
I am so.
Stingy giving my energy now out to people I'm talking to or dating because I'm enjoying this season so much of me just being with me. How did I get here? I started to do more things that brought me joy. Oh, I just saw three three three on the clock as well. Your angels are with you, you are being divinely guided. You have to understand that it might not be that you're tired, or you're lazy, or you're deplete, whatever you
think is going on. It might just be you're doing too many things that drain you and not enough things that make you FeelA.
When I was overworking.
Myself and I was burnt out, and I was in a relationship that just wasn't energy energetically right anymore, I felt like I was on the verge of burnout and a breakdown every single day. It wasn't until I removed myself from situations and scenarios that made me feel depleted and started to say yes to more things that brought me joy that I started to feel so different. Action
is thought or energy reinforced. So if I wake up and I'm doing all of these things that I hate to do, I'm gonna feel tired, I'm gonna feel drained. I'm gonna feel depleted, not because that's who I am, but because I'm engaging with energy that takes from me rather than refills me. If you want to enjoy being alone, you have to do things that you enjoy.
You have to do things that.
Are energy fillers, going out in the sun, being near natural bodies of water, doing a trail.
I can't really tell you what's.
Gonna bring you enjoy. You have to figure that out for yourself, because I'm not you. But some things I started to do was create a physical community by going to energy classes. I started to take golf. I started to do some cooking lessons here and there. I started to do new things with my time, and that really allowed me to meet new people, be in new scenarios, and I feel good in my own space because I'm
doing things that fill me rather than deplete me. I also say yes more if there is an event coming up. I also will look out for events too, if I see an event coming up, a festival or this, so that I will go out of my way, text a friend and say, hey, let's go to this. I take initiative in my own life. I'm an active participant in my own life. I don't just sit on the sidelines and wait for someone to invite me to do something. If I see something that's interesting to me, I'm texting someone, Hey,
let's go let's do this. I'm interested in that, yes, because I know that it's up to me to make my life good. My happiness is my responsibility, that's my job. So if I'm not happy, if I'm not okay being alone, I have to look at the woman in the mirror and say, what are we doing wrong. We're giving too much time to things that deplete us and not enough time to things that are uplifting us and making us feel happy and amazing. So I need to shift around
my schedule. That might mean adding more time to just read a book, to color, to paint. It might mean a wine night with your girls. Whatever makes you feel empowered. For me, it's also yoga, whatever lifts you up.
Do more of that.
It could even be getting your nails done. Every time I get my nails done, I feel so good afterwards. I feel like I just filled my cup up. I did something kind for myself. Do things that make you feel happy, and it's okay. If no one has told you to take yourself out on a date, it's okay to take yourself to that movie, to take yourself to that energy class, to take yourself to that restaurant, that nature trail, whatever it is, and just go do it,
try new things. That's one of my favorite ways to get myself in a new state.
Let's end with one more.
Okay, let's end on this because this will help you in the future. But also it's really prevalent because literally today there's a full moon. How do I integrate the energy of the moon each month? Some eclipses are heavy? Yeah, full moons tend to be emotional and watery and heavy, but how can you integrate them?
Rest? Nutrient dense food.
For some reason, sweet potato is always what I need. Sweet potato, chickpeas, nutrient dense food, lentils, the goomes, if you will, a lot of rest, more sleep, more water about and making sure that you're taking time to slow down. Do the journal prompts reflect what do I want to release? What do I want more of?
What do I want to release? What do I want more of?
That's what you should be asking yourself because full moons are really times of release. But in releasing we can also think about and in releasing this, what am I making room for that I truly want? Okay, that is it for today's episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode and it brought light to you. The Sparkle and me as always honors of Sparkle in You be sure to follow me on Instagram at Vibe with CCS so you can ask a question next week possibly and get your
question answered. If you are looking for one on one coaching, you can DM me on Instagram join one of my courses. Alleviate these pain bodies, release the negative energy. It's time you take radical responsibility over your life and I will see you in the next one.
Note I'm not I'm sorry.
I got selling at energy.
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