214. Get Hotter From Your Hurt

who we came here to be. Now, we cannot be steeped in our power if we are giving our power away to everyone and their father? Now can we? No, we cannot. I'm going to say something and maybe you won't agree just yet, but allow it to awaken the light within yourself and see where it takes you. Hookup culture makes you ugly mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and yeah, physically, and I'm going to tell you why. I'm also going to tell you why and how you can actually get

hotter from your hurt. If you have been engaging in hookup culture or maybe you're just dating, I'm going to teach you today how to take negative people and circumstance that have been sent your way and transmute it into power to become healthier, hotter, wealthier, whatever you want to do with it. Because the truth is, if you are here right now with me, you're listening to this podcast. Like I say in the intro, you're meant to be

hearing this. But more importantly than that, you're an alchemist and you have the ability to take the negative things that unfold in your life. You have a unique ability as an alchemist to take that in, absorb, observe, and transmute it, alchemize it into power. Before we get into it,

a couple of announcements. If you're not yet following me on Instagram at Vibingwocci, be sure to follow me there for daily tips and tricks on how to steep yourself into your magnetic energy and feel as your best self. If you want more information on that, something to read, I have a book show up as her. You can get this. The link will be in the show notes.

And last, but not least, today, I want to remind you that last week I release shadow Work Alchemy, and this is a course that will help you bring your shadow to the light. If you feel like you keep dating the same type of patterns in different people. You need to work on your shadow self. If you feel like you just cannot unlock your magnetic energy, you need to work on your shadow self. If you feel like it's impossible for you to be authentic, you need to

work on your shadow self. If you have any anger towards yourself or shame, you have to work on your shadow self. If you feel like there's just more to you, hidding gifts, hidden talent, you need to work on your shadow self. For the rest of this week, it's going to be the course at a special low price, but then after this week it's going up to the regular price. Get this course right now. We are in a clip season, so the energies around us are heavily supporting us to

bring our shadows to the light. Of course, this is a timeless course, however, I would recommend it's almost like having a cast on your arm. There's extra support. I would recommend doing this now when there's extra support in the electromagnetic field that we reside in this course, I take you through somatic healing, I take you through meditations, I take you through a pono pono, and I give you dynamic video lessons, journal prompts, affirmations so you can

fully illuminate your true self. You can integrate your shadow, illuminate your golden shadow, and so much more. This is not something you want to miss out on. Okay, the link will be in the show notes. If you're feeling called to do this, then you know what to do. Without further ado, let's get into today's episode. Now, I made a claim that hookup culture makes you ugly, and to understand this, before we get into the spiritual and

emotional side effects, let's just start with the physical. Yes, we are a spirit in a body, but we are quite materialistic because we really rely on our three D senses to give us information about the world. We rely on our eyes, our ears, our tastes, our touch to give us input about the physical reality around us. So it's only natural that we start with the most physical thing that we have, which is our vessel. It's our body.

Whether we're engaging with hookup culture or we're just with someone who isn't the right person for us, and there's an unequal energetic dynamic where we're giving way more than we're receiving in either one of those scenarios. It will make us uglier. Why, because we're in a heightened state of survival for too long twenty four to seven, ninety percent of our day. You have to understand our brain and nervous system is very much ancient, yet we're living

in this modern world. We used to get a cordisle spike from a lion running away a poisonous bury. Oh, I almost ate that. Now we're in a heightened cordisal state almost twenty four to seven because social media, because they're not texting us back, because of dating apps, We're constantly looking outside of ourselves for threats, and it's putting us into a constant fight or flight state. What do

you think this does to your physical vessel? What do you think happens to your body when you're pumping out cortisol? Do you think you're glowing and floating through the planet. Of course not. When you're in the sympathetic nervous system, your whole entire demeanor changes. Your body literally primes itself, It gets ready for battle because it's perceiving a threat.

What's a threat in today's age? In hookup culture, they're not texting me back, they're not calling me I just gave them all of myself, and now they're not even here. I don't understand that causes you to go into your sympathetic nervous system, your power sympathetic nervous system. Actually, let's call on my book show up as her page fifty three, I literally give you the definitions. So your power sympathetic nervous system is a part of the autonomic nervous system

that is just responsible for relaxing your body. Okay, it's often referred to rest and digest. When you're calm, when you're relaxed, when you're self focused, you're able to digest your food. Your shoulders are back, you are smiling, you feel really good, your heart centers open. In this state, we're able to digest properly, conserve energy, breathe deeply, engage

with others, and feel safe. However, when we're constantly looking outside of ourselves for connection, especially to the wrong people, we then trigger ourselves into the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for responding to perceived stress. Keyboard is perceived. There doesn't even have to be a real threat out there for us to think that there is. But if we're telling ourselves that this person is somehow threatening our connection to one day get married, have children, engage in

a relationship. We're going to stress ourselves out. This state is often referred to as fight or flight because our heart beats faster or draw tightens, our body becomes contracted, and we become hyper vigilant towards the perceived threat. Your body when it's not just getting a cortisole spike here there, but constantly, it will not digest food, so you're gonna feel bloated. You're gonna start to have less sleep, so bags underneath your eyes. You're either gonna gain weight or

lose weight. Your hair will thin, you're gonna break out, your shoulders are gonna be hunched over, your head will be down. Your whole entire body and system will operate differently. And on page fifty seven, I literally give you a chart on how your body literally looks different when you're in this constant state of stress. And if you're being intimate with all these different people or with the wrong person,

this is what happens. Your body is gonna perceive this as a stressed threat, and you're not gonna operate properly. You're not gonna be able to breathe as deep think. Clearly, you're not gonna be able to hear the same sea. Nothing will be the same. I'm gonna give you a little antidote from my own life.

at action. But they would also say things like I'm in transition. I don't know, I'm really chaotic right now of all these things going on. They saw me as really intimidating. That's not a good thing. So I heard everything he said, not just the things that I wanted to pay attention to, and I looked at his actions and I was like, you know what, there are some good words here, but the actions aren't aligning with the good words. And he's also saying a lot of things

that are not positive. Now, I felt connected to this person, so it made me upset, But I would not allow myself to cross that line because I knew, Ceci, if you are to cross this line, who's going to get hurt? Who's going to be stressed out?

And if you're having trouble with this, I want you to call on divine assistance, and I want you to say, God, give me eyes to see, ears to here in a heart full of discernment, so I can see the situation as clear as day, so I can make the right decision here. And I said that to God, and I was able to see clearly and therefore able to make the right decision for me. A lot of us think that we're being played, when really we're playing ourselves. They're

literally telling us, I'm in transition. I can't do something serious X, Y, and Z, whatever it may be. What else could they say, I don't want a relationship right now. A man will know whether or not he wants a relationship with you fairly quickly, and if you feel like you have to prove yourself to him in order for him to take you seriously, that is not the right person and you're gonna trigger yourself. You have to see people for who they are. You have to see the

situation for what it is. They're not playing you. Stop being a victim. And by the way, if this sounds harsh, this is the same conversations I have with myself, and I've literally been there too, I understand. But you cannot be the victim when they're literally telling you what it is and you're then telling yourself, well, I can convince them. I'm gonna prove to them. I'm gonna give them my body, my time, my energy, I'm gonna show how amazing I am,

and then they'll see and they're gonna want to convince me. No, no, no, that's literally not how it works. They will know, just like you know certain things. They will know fairly quickly, and it will not require you to prove yourself to them. You are not being played. You're playing yourself because you are not listening to what they're saying, and you're telling yourself that you're gonna convince them to like you. So you're giving them all your time, your energy, and your body.

And what is it doing. It's making you uglier, it's making you more stressed out, it's making you feel terrible. Now, when this person did try to be eventually intimate with me, I was like, no, whoa no, And he was like, what, I only do this with the girls that I like, and I laughed. I was like what He's like, No, no, no, no, I'm not one of the girls you like. I'm either the girl or I'm gone girl. That's this is not the game I play. Sorry, no, thank you. And he

was like, oh, I feel so rejected. I was like, well, I'm not gonna make myself feel dumb. So if me making a smart decision for myself makes you feel rejected, I'm okay with that. Yeah that works for me because right now you just want me when it's good for you, and that doesn't work for me, so therefore feel rejected. All you want, I'm gonna rest on my pedestal and feel really good in the decision I'm making right now.

Was I hurt? Yes, I liked this person. The thing is, sometimes we're gonna feel connected to people, but that doesn't mean that they're right for us, or that they are meant to be our partner in crime. There are so many different types of soulmates. There are those who trigger a spiritual awakening in us, those who lead us back home to ourselves, those who are great partners, boyfriend girlfriends.

There are some soulmates that are just gonna teach you something a season or reason or a lifetime, whatever it may be. There are different types of soulmates. Yeah, I felt connected to this person, but I had to take a step back and say, well, I feel connected to them, but that's not good enough. Having chemistry with someone feeling a connection to them, that's not good enough. There needs to be a shared value system, and we need to be in the right and same state of mind. And

I saw that he was chaotic. I saw he was all over the place. I saw that he was like a dog, and as soon as another squirrel went by, he was going towards that squirrel. I saw that his nervous system was disregulated. I read the writing on the wall, even though I wanted it to be something different. Okay, well, my ceiling is God's floor, so obviously there's just something better for me. And that's what you need to remind yourself about. If it's not this person, it will be

someone better. That's the mindset you want to adopt. Not I need to prove myself so they like, absolutely not. The cure to this is intentional intimacy. Before I ever would go out with this guy, I would always tell myself, Okay, I know the line I'm not going to cross because I have not gained enough data on this person to understand what they're truly capable of giving me and if we're aligned. And eventually I saw, oh we're not aligned,

No are we? They we're not They we're not. And I'm so happy I didn't cross that line because if I did, who would be more stressed out, who would be more upset? Who would not feel good? It would be me. You have to protect your own heart. And I'm so much of a lover girl. I absolutely love love, but there's no one I love more than myself. So therefore I'm gonna make sure that I'm intentional and not just on autopilot and acting out of wounds. Your power

is not your promiscuity. Your power lies on your pedestal when you are hypervigilant. Not of do they like me? But how do I feel? How does this feel in my body? How is this person affecting my nervous system? That will lead you to the right places. Your power is in your receptivity, not trying to prove yourself. Your power is in you receiving seeing them prove themselves over a period of time. By the way, if you're worried about is this person for me or not, the truth

always stands the test of time. So if they are for you, they'll stay, They'll stay around, they will stand the test of time. They will be there. And now that I've been dating again, because as you guys know, I was in a seven year relationship and then we ended earlier this year, And now that I've been dating again, it's so easy for me to have better discerning because I'm like, WHOA, I really see how different different people

affect my nervous as. This person who I liked in this scenario was constantly triggering me, making me feel very anxious and then there'd be another person who I would be talking to, and they made me feel like a princess, fairy queen. And I clearly see the difference now, and that helps me make better decisions as well, you know, even asking God give me discernment here, so I can really understand what's right for me and really make right decisions that make me feel my best. That's going to

help you. Okay. So that's our physical self. When we're in our sympathetic nervous system, we look worse because we have more quarters ole and we can't digest our hair mai thin acne, bloating all that jass. When we're in our powasympathetic nervous system, our rest and digest our skin glows. We have just a different air about us. Where our shoulders are back, we can smile, We're feeling safe to engage. That is where we want to go. Now, let's move on to the mental body here. Okay, so that's a

physical body. Let's move on to the mental body. When you're thinking about them twenty four to seven, Why aren't they texting me? What are they doing? Are they talking to someone else? Oh my god, are they gonna hook up with someone because I'm not there. When you're checking their Instagram twenty four to seven, their social media, their snapchat score, who they're following, you're checking your phone to see if they're texting you, that is repellent and depleting

on your end, You're depleting yourself. We want to attract and not chase, but you can't do that if you're giving everyone and their father all of your energy, your body, and your attention. And I want you to just take a step back here. How would it look if instead of giving your time and your energy and your attention and your awareness to this person you poured into you

think about this, like, really think about this. If you weren't checking their social media, if you weren't waiting around for their text, if you weren't waiting for them to call you, if you weren't stalking who they're following, what they're doing, waiting for an update from them, how much more time and energy would you have? Okay? And what would you do with this time and energy? Really visualize this? What I want to do a cooking class? Would I want to try a new sport? Maybe I want to

read a new book. Is there something I've been wanting to do since I was a child, but hadn't have the time to do. Can I channel my energy into that instead. I've realized that there were certain people who I would date and they would not make me feel stable and grounded and peaceful, and I'd be giving them all my attention and energy. And the cure to this is you have to direct your mind better, cause your

mind will do what you tell it to do. You got to input something, so instead of me just sitting around waiting for someone to reach out to me or whatever it may be, I started taking cookie classes. I'm certified in reiki. Now, I am a golf star. I've been taking golf lessons. I've been signing up for esoteric energy classes at least twice a month. I've learned more about politics. I've been learning about ancient civilizations like Egypt,

Jesus and the scenes. I've been taking my health so much more seriously, Like I have so much more time now. And I was telling someone last night, I was like, this is a favorite or this is my favorite iteration of CC because I have so much time to give to myself and I'm loving it. I'm loving it.

When you're constantly depleting yourself, you don't know who you are, you don't know what your energy feels like, you don't know how cool your energy is, and therefore you're walking around like an empty cup and it sucks. So you want to take your power back by directing your mind. Do a ritual, do a meditation, read a book, sign

up for a course, learn something new. When you are hurt from a situation, from a hookup that went wrong, from someone who can't give you what it is, you truly want, use that energy and channel it into a class, Channel it into a creative endeavor. This is how you get hotter from your hurt. Oh you're feeling hurt, Okay, use that energy, Go do a workout. Oh someone's bowling you at work. Use that energy to stay an extra hour and use it as fuel. You can use your

hurt as fuel. This is transmutation. This is how you alchemize. So you can think of all the people who have hurt you and say, think you think you think you, thank you. I'm going to use that energy and I'm gonna write a book. I'm going to use that energy, and I'm going to create a shadow Alchemy course. I'm going to use that energy and I am going to really channel it into something that can help me make me more beautiful, happy, wealthier, healthier, whatever it be. Oh,

I just realized. I talk about this guy more in depth in the Shadow Alchemy course as well, So if you want to hear even more tea on that, you can look there. The other cure of this, in addition to directing your mind, is call your power back. I lovingly and peacefully call all of my power back to me now. And if you want a twenty minute meditation on this, you can get that for free on YouTube, and if you want a course on this, join the

Pedestal Path course. It will help you understand why it's so hard for you to focus on yourself, why it's so hard for you to be on your pedestal. And then I give you not only meditation and workbooks to get yourself back on there, but I believe it's over four hours of me literally teaching you how to put yourself back on your pedestal. It's worth the investment. You can't go on like this, it's not serving you anymore. We talked about the physical body, we talked about the

mental body. Now let's talk about the spiritual body. Understand that intimacy is actually a lot like money. Money is not good, money is not bad. Money is a neutral energy. It depends on how the person is using it. That will dictate if it's a positive entity or a negative one. And it's the same thing with intimacy. Intimacy. Pleasure with the right person, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, more power to you.

When there's an equal energetic exchange, when there's a level of commitment, when there's mutual love and respect and honesty, awesome, cool, yeah, go you. However, intimacy with someone where there's not an equal energetic exchange, someone who takes from you, someone who does not respect you, someone who has negative entities all around and in them. That is not a positive experience. I need to take a moment here. Okay, this is especially for my lover girls. You will notice that, oh,

your career, you don't have many issues there. It's pretty fine. Your friendship's all good. But your relationships, the men that come into your life or the women that come into your life. Ho ho, yeah, yeah, Okay, for my lover girls, most of your trials and tribulations will be through your relationships because those are the primary lessons you signed up

to learn during this incarnation. Some of these people who come into your life who can't give you what you want or won't give you what you want, the narcissistic behaviors, energies, these people, most of them have demonic or really lower vibrational entities on them, and these dark forces of the world, world, whatever you want to call them. They want to derail you from your destiny. That is literally their job to distract you, to put you down, to drag your vibration down,

to dull your shine. These entities will attack you through the men that you date. If you are not conscious and intentional, these entities want your consciousness plugged into a negative system of doubt, of fear, of insecurity, of hurt, so that you don't have the confidence, the awareness, and the attention to focus on your purpose. These entities, and this is just an energetic principle. All energy seeks to expand. So if it's negative energy, that energy just wants to expand.

And what is it going to do. It's going to try to expand by bringing you down, by making you fret about this person, by making you feel insecure about yourself, by making you feel less then so that you are distracted and dulled and muted and numbed from going after what you came here to do. Are you gonna let

a negative, stupid energy derail your destiny? Because let me just tell you, I love men, but no man has ever made me feel as good as I feel when I'm connected to divine source, channeling a TikTok, channeling information, channeling the information that we all need. Nothing feels as good as being steeped in my purpose. These men who you know are having a negative effect on you, or these women who you know are having a negative effect

on you. It's not about them, it's through the entities that are working through them to derail you from your focus. You need to refocus, you need to rant it back in, and you need to focus on your purpose. You will get attacked when you're two feet from gold. You will get attacked right before everything works in your favor. Understand that that is a manifestation principle, that everything falls apart

right before falling together. You must keep going and you must use that energy to make yourself happier, healthier, wealthier, hotter. Whatever transmuted, transmuted, it transmuted. And don't be intimate with people who are making you feel bad about yourself because that is a telltale sign that there's an entity working through them. You have to own that your spiritual and you operate at a different vibration than most people, and therefore your spiritual hygiene has to be a top priority.

You cannot be giving your temple, your mind, your energy, your body to just anyone because, whether you like it or not, energy transference occurs, and that means that when you're intimate, it involves an unconscious exchange of energy, which is referred to as energy transference because we live in an energetic universe. Remember what I said at the top of this podcast. We're very materialistic. We really rely on the three D things, but there's oh so much more

in the unseen world. And whether you want to acknowledge the energetic laws of this universe or not, when you're intimate with another person, some of their energy will stick to you and some of your energy will stick to them. And this exchange occurs without our conscious consent or awareness, and we are just give and giving, and then we

absorb their energy. And when we're intimate with people who possess these lower vibrational energies or harbor negative perceptions of us, this energy can have detrimental effects on us and our well being. It can leave us feeling needy, of them, insecure, hurt, doubtful because we absorbed and internalized their energy of unfavorable beliefs about ourselves, and then we obsess about them. But really this isn't about them being the one. It's about

them just having our energy and holding onto our energy. Again, you have to call this energy back. You need to remember that your awareness, your perception is divinely yours, and this is something we work on in the shadow Alchemy course. We reclaim our awareness. You're the only person who has the awareness of you, who has the consciousness of you, who has your unique perspective. You have to claim it again.

You have to put it back into your body. And we literally stop our feet and take our fists and do somatic healing to take our consciousness and put it back into our body. I'm telling you, if you're dealing with this, you have to integrate your shadow so you stop giving too much of yourself away and instead exists within all of your light. You are so worthy of someone who can give you what you know you need, and if these people are incapable of that, you have

to walk in the other direction and choose yourself. Because choosing yourself is never the wrong answer. Again, intimacy, that's not the problem. Being intimate with the wrong people is the problem. To many people is the problem, because then you're taking on all their energy, all their demons, all their whatever, all their unfavorable ideas about you, and then you start believing them. Now they're in your energetic field. You have to reclaim your shadow aspects. You have to

reclaim every part you feel shameful. Every part you don't like about yourself, we have to say, e fit. I'm reclaiming all of myself. I'm gonna step into my power. I know my power is on my pedestal, not my promiscuity, and I'm going to not stop until I get exactly what it is I want. I love you so much you can be Do you have anything in this world the sparkle in me honors of sparkling you. I hope

this podcast episode brought you to some new awareness. Join the Shadow Alchemy course so you don't have to deal with this BS anymore, and I will see you in the next one. Energy cancer.