210. Activate The Queen Archetype And Get EVERYTHING You Want

to be. Now, we as humans do something very very interesting. We are born with a whole switchboard of traits, so many different energies and aspects of ourselves that we can tap into. Yet we only turn on the traits that will guarantee us love and connection, and even negative attention is still connection. Keep that in mind as we are

growing up. If we learn that being the good girl is what gets us loving connection from our parent, from our caregiver, from our peers, well that's what we're gonna do. If we learn that being the class clown is going to get us attention and affection, that is who we will become. We decide as human beings, what traits we're gonna turn on, and what traits we should disown within ourselves. We decide what part of me will get connection, Okay, I'm gonna do that. What part of me isn't getting

connection or causing confrontation. I'm gonna shut those parts down. I'm gonna reject those parts of myself. I'm going to disown them. And that is how we create a shadow. What we're talking about today is reactivating, embodying, stepping back into that queen energy. And the reason I started off this podcast talking about traits we prioritize versus traits we reject is to remind you that becoming this queen self is not about stepping away from who you are. It's

about activating that energy that's already within you. But if you learned that being in your power wasn't safe, if you learn that being in your power got you ostracized or kicked out of the peer group, then you also learned not to embody that power. Today, we're reminding ourselves that it is our divine right to be an autonomous, powerful, multi dimensional being. And there's a lot of people who talk about princess treatment and I did a whole entire

podcast on princess treatment versus queen treatment. I think you know what I would recommend. I'll link that in the show notes. But today we're really talking about not just how to get queen treatment, but how to embody the queen within so you can get everything and anything that you truly desire as positive bitches. What do we do? We don't get mad, We get everything before we get into today's episode and talk about how to tap into

this queen energy. Within a couple of announcements, if you've not yet gotten my book Show Up as Her, be sure to get your copy. We do talk about the topics that I speak about in this book frequently on this podcast, and we are going to once again today. And if you're not yet following me on Instagram at vibe in with CC again in the show notes, be sure to follow me there for daily tips and tricks

on how to embody your most magnetic energy. If you've not yet listen into my last single Pudding, it will help you put yourself back on the pedestal remember who you are, which we all need to do. Hello, yep, yep, yep yep, And I have some good news. I am opening up some more slots this coming September, October November December for new clients. I am a certified life and energy coach and I do offer one on one coaching.

If you're interested in a session or a package with me, you can DM me on Instagram and we can talk more there. I offer so many different services from attachment system healing, to self concept work, to inner child work, shadow work, and so much more. But without further ado, let's get into today's episode now. When I think about a queen versus a princess, I feel more resonant with a queen. When you think about a princess, she might be royalty, but she has to live under another's law.

She has to live under the king. He has to live under whatever ruling is at that time. She's a princess. I always think about like a damsel in distress when I think of princess. And when I think of queen, not only do you get all the things that a princess gets, but you also get power to rule over yourself. You get autonomy. Think about a queen versus a princess. Can't you feel the energetic difference there? Can't you feel that when a queen walks into a room, everyone is

standing up the second she walks into that room. Versus a princess, everyone's like, oh, little princess. But a queen gets a different level of respect. A queen makes the rules. A princess someone else is making the rule. Let's think more about this queen archetype here. I recently have started watching the show Show the Great, which is based on Catherine the Great. I shouldn't say based on it's a

story about Katherine the Great, but it's really mostly made up. However, it is reminding me so much of my own power. An amazing way to tap into the queen archetype is to watch a show or a movie about a queen, because in this show or movie, you're going to pick up on these minute things that she does, how she walks, how she talks, how other people respond to her, and it's gonna inspire that queen's self to get activated within.

You can think of someone you deem like the queen archetype, like Nancy Reagan, someone who loves tradition, thrives in leadership roles, knows what she wants in her worth. I always think of Audrey Heppern. That's very much a queen energy who was amazing at her art, but also someone who did a bunch of things for UNICEF and charity and very classic, classic, classic. A princess is someone who, yes, has this royalty, but she doesn't have the wisdom. She doesn't have the ability

to rule over oneself. She doesn't have that same power. So you can think about someone who you think is a queen, like a Nancy Reagan, like an Audrey Hepburn, or you can literally watch even a mythical show, any sort of scripted series about a queen, and it's going to help you to start to understand how a queen walks, talks, acts, feels. Something that allows me to get into my queen energy is a spark word. What is a spark word? I use certain words to turn on energies with in me.

And this is something I've done for a really long time. I've not necessarily heard someone talk about this, but it's just something I've always done naturally, and I'm calling it spark words. Okay, when I'm in yoga and I'm trying to hold a pose, I will say to myself the word stoic, and this word. Not only when I say it, do I hear it? But I also picture like a rock. And when I say stoic to myself, it immediately activates this energy that allows me to stand firm, still, straight

and completely embody whatever pose I'm aiming for. When I need to get back into my queen energy, because maybe I acted in a way that was a little prince to see a little beggy, a little nonchalant, and I'm like, no, I need to remember my power. The word I say to myself is Russia. Russia, and I immediately and it immediately activates this queen energy within me. I think about the show The Great and every time this is why

a show is so helpful. Every time Elizabeth is about to act in a way that is going to possibly derail her from her destiny, every time she's going to choose something that is not for her highest good, she goes, no, No, this is for Russia. I must act in alignment with my destiny because my destiny is Russia, and this is for Russia. So I've taken that word because I've heard her say it so many times, and I told myself, any time I'm about to fall into old patterns, I'm

about to become the chaser. I'm about to act in accordance with people pleasing rather than my queen self. I'm gonna say the word Russia, and it immediately takes me out of that energy because it's a reminder. It's like an alarm clock when you wake up and you're like, yah, Russia is my alarm clock to remember my queen self. So what are we doing so far? We're priming ourself.

We're either watching a queen or thinking about a queen a Nancy Reagan, and then we're using a spark word to remind ourselves in the moment to embody these traits. And if you don't really know how your queen's self would act, use the show or the person as inspiration. Would Nancy Reagan do that? I don't think so. Would Elizabeth the Great do that? I don't think so. I am on season three of the show now, and I know Elizabeth only does what's for Russia. She does what

is for her destiny. She places her destiny above all, and isn't that what a queen does. She chooses responsibility, she chooses her empire, she chooses her destiny, not the rusty dusty freaks of the world. No, she chooses her destiny, and as a princess, I feel like sleeping beauty. We're waiting for our prince. We're waiting for our night in shining armor. We're waiting, We're waiting. We're waiting. We're waiting. Oh my god, I cannot. We have a whole life

to live. A queen does not wait around for some squirmy worm to come in and save her. A queen is like, I have responsibility, I have duties here. I have a whole kingdom to run. Your kingdom is your destiny. You are the queen, the empress of your life. Your destiny is your kingdom. And every time you want to slip into a chasing energy, you want to go after something that's not meant for you, you need a spark word that reminds you, wait a second, I am not going

to allow this thing to derail me from my destiny. Russia. I literally say Russia to myself like fifteen times a day to consistently repeatedly remind myself of why I was put on this planet in the first place. There are going to be distractions sent into your life. There are going to be people. There is going to be chaos, there's going to be confusion. A princess allows those distractions to eat away at her. She allows those distractions to get their claws into her. A queen says for Russia

and refocuses on her self. Your destiny should be the utmost importance for you, because that's what you came here for. Everything, everything you're doing, every heartbreak, every door shut, every moment that you fell to your knees because of the immense trauma and pain that you've gone through, none of this matters as much as a destiny that is waiting to welcome you home. The fulfillment, the joy, the hard expansion you will get from your destiny is incomparable to the

pain you have felt in your life. And a queen understands this. A queen doesn't fall prey to lower vibrational circumstance. She doesn't let lower vibrational circumstance eat away at her, steal her vibration, steal her joy, steal her happiness. She sees it, and then she raises the situation to see it a little bit better. What I mean by this is when something you perceive is going wrong in your life instead of allowing it to crush you like a princess.

May you're going to see it as a queen. You're going to see the situation, and then you're going to say, what am I learning from this? How can I use this as fuel? How am I going to use this seat closer to my destiny? Every circumstance can be medicine. Every circumstance can be energy if you transmute it and you stop asking why is this happening to me and instead ask what can I do with this to get closer to my destiny, to maintain a stable vibration, to

get back into my body. Let's not forget self focus is of the divine feminine energy. Focusing on the other is divine masculine, because the divine masculine energy is the giver, the divine feminine is the RECEI. A princess oftentimes is focused on when am I going to be saved? What rule do I have to follow? A princess is very much focused on someone outside of her and having to live in accordance to them. But a queen has self focus. Oh he's not texting me, well, I have to read

this book anyway? Oh? He hasn't called me, well, I'm signing up for this energy class. Oh that didn't work out, or they ghosted, or this or that. A princess will get lost in the sauce. A queen says, I have self focus. There are things in my life that I am building. And if you don't have things in your life that you are building. Mmmm, my baby girl, My baby girlma, baby girl, what are we doing? You can start by reading show up as her. That's a step

you can take in the right direction. What can you build up in your kingdom? Your health, your wealth, your friendships, your creativity, signing up for a cooking class. I'm literally going to a cooking class today. There are things that want your focus, and then there are things that need your focus. The thing that needs your focus is yourself.

You need your focus the most. Yeah, because when you focus on you, not only are you embodying queen energy, but you're feeding yourself your own energy, which means that is sole care. We talk about self care put a face mask on. Care is feeding yourself your own energy, existing in your own body. A princess feels very much like up in my head because I have to ask for permission. But a queen is embodied in her literal

physical vessel because she's the one making the rules. It's a different energy, Okay, your incarnation, your perception, your awareness, that is what needs your attention. Where attention goes, energy flows. So when your attention is here, you're feeding yourself your own energy. When your attention is out there, you're feeding other people your energy. And you need to remember the greatest return on investment you can get is when you give yourself your own energy. If you're not grasping the

difference energy wise of the princess versus the queen. Think of Princess Diana versus the queen, who had more power there? I mean, it's like pretty obvious who's making the rules and who feels caged by them. Yeah, a queen understands her value. A princess shrinks herself to fit into the confinements of whatever rules are present at that time. And I want to take us to page one sixty two, the famous bag in my book Show Up as Her. My mam always used to tell me a story about

a famous bag. She told me there was a bag everyone wanted, the rich, the poor, the religious, the non religious, all cultures, all races, all people from all over the world. It was not the most expensive bag, It was not the most beautiful, It was not the most creative. Do you know why everyone wanted the bag? I said, no, Why she said, because not everyone could have it was a limited addition. While we are all created equal, our worth isn't always perceived as equal based on how much

energy we give out to others. That bag was no better than any other bag. However, people still perceived it on a pedestal because not everyone could have it. When we rest into our divine feminine knowing that we are a limited addition because by the way you are literally no one else has your DNA, no one else has your exact energy. When we realize we are this limited edition, we are perceived as higher in value. When you're giving out your energy to everyone, everyone, everyone, trying to appease

everyone like a princess. Oftentimes does people perceive you at a lower level, not because you're less worthy, but because of how you're using and broadcasting your energy. When we give over our body, presence or energy, perceive us as less worthy, even if that's not true. When people perceive us as less worthy, they really are only mirroring back to us our own beliefs about ourselves. Positive bitch tip. We tend to overgive when we think who we already

are is not enough. If we think we aren't good enough, others will pick up on this perception and may believe it too. When we realize we are a limited edition that literally no one else has our exact, unique energetic signature, other people will pick up on this perception and they will believe it too. A queen understands her role, She understands her responsibility. She understands how worthy she is. And that's why when she walks into a room, she's walking

in like God him self. Center. Her head is up, her shoulders are back, and oftentimes royalty queenan's kings they believed they were divinely chosen. A queen believe she has her role because she was divinely chosen by God. She believes she's in this royal position because she was chosen by God. When are you going to realize that the same God that made the mountains and the moon and the ocean also made you? When are you going? And I just saw three three three you were divinely supported

on this journey. When are you going to realize that your position, your personality, you were divinely chosen to be here during this time, just like a king or a queen is chosen terrain. A princess doesn't have that belief. She's like, oh, I guess I was just born into this, But a queen believes it's her destiny. She was chosen. A queen walks around on this planet knowing that where she is going is so much more important than where she's been. She walks away knowing that God anointed her

for all the things that she wants. When she thinks about the people, the places, the opportunities that she so desires, she's not thinking like a princess, Oh, I hope it comes and saves me. I hope it comes in. I hope someone will allow me to do this. She's not worried about permission. She knows this is destined by God. And that's why a queen is truly a master manifestor, because she understands that the things that she is seeking

are also seeking her. She understands they're divinely anointed for her. She understands that she not only has responsibility, she has power, power, and that's a huge difference between how a queen shows up versus a princess. I want to get into some of the questions that I've been receiving. If you want to have a question answered on this podcast, then you

can dm at that bitch is positive on Instagram. Let's get into some of these, Hi CC, can you do an episode one day on the benefits of going no contact and whether or not one should hold onto hope and getting back with their ex someone down somewhere down the line, and maybe how a girl would even get back together with someone who broke their heart. Okay, so

what are the benefits of going no contact? I'm gonna tell you A princess would try not to go no contact because she's putting her perception, her awareness, her attention on that other person. And a princess is waiting, waiting, waiting. When is he gonna save me? When is he coming back? I just punched my microphone? When is he coming back? A queen says, absolutely not. You couldn't see my worth,

you couldn't understand my value. Get out of here. I'm not gonna say what a queen would do, but probably exile that dude. You know what I mean, you know what I mean. So a queen chooses no contact, and what are the benefits of this, So she can focus on herself, so she can remember Russia, self focus, self awareness,

and she can build her empire. Trust me, I wanted to be a princess so badly, but then I realize there's something so much better, which is being a queen, which is having the empire, making your own rules and getting everything you want. Whereas a princess has this sort of waiting, longing yearning, a queen doesn't do anything like that. She snaps her fingers and gets what she wants. Going

no contact is so beneficial for woman. I know it's so hard in the beginning because all you want to do is run to the person who severely hurt you, and you want the person who hurt you to comfort you. They can't. We can't look for healing in the places that severely hurt us. What happens after a breakup is a male brain is better at compartimentalizing information because they process information in localized areas, which means one area of the brain at a time, whereas women were much better

at processing information on both the right and left hemisphere. Simultaneously. So when we go through a breakup, we're thinking about our past, we're thinking about the present, and we're also thinking about the future that we built up in our head. And not only are we mourning our past, but we're mourning the future we thought we're going to have. So we really are having all these stories that we told

ourselves come crashing down. And it's hard to distract ourselves because our brain is going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Whereas a man can just put something in front of him and it's easier for him to distract himself, and it might be easier for him to go no contact at first, But let me tell you, as that distraction wanes and he has to come to the realization that he actually has to heal and he has to go below the surface, later on, it will

be more difficult for him. And that's usually when they come back. We as women, because we're dealing with so much pain at the forefront, we choose healings sooner where they choose the distraction. But that only helps us win in the end, and honestly, the time many of them come back, we don't even want them anyway. However, everyone's journey is different. A queen understands that again, her kingdom, her destiny, that's her responsibility, and she has self focus.

The second part of this question was how would we even get back together with someone who broke their heart? I mean, that's not a that's not a question you want to ask yourself right now because that's not where you are. What you need to focus on right now is you getting back into yourself. Don't get under someone new, get into yourself. What you need to focus on right

now is that queen energy of self fulfillment. When you create a life that feels good to you, you're not concerned like a princess is waiting waiting, waiting on someone else. Instead of worrying how am I going to accept them back when they come, refocus on what do I want more of in my life? More experiences with female friendships, more experiences with my career, health, wealth, whatever it is, and focus there instead, because that's what a queen would do. Ooh,

another question. My boyfriend broke up with me four days ago because he said he fell out of love with me. Oh my god. But when I asked if he thinks there's a possibility of things changing and us getting back together. Okay, that's what a princess would do. A queen would say, thank you so much for your service. I must be on my way now. He said he can see a possibility of time healing and us potentially rekindling. He also said that he doesn't want to give me false hope. Okay,

at least you know. I guess that's honest. I think it was an impulsive decision for him to dump me. Does not matter. It does not matter why, it matters.

a queen operates. He made his decision. I'm just left with the repercussions and pain and confusion. About what to do. He was my first love. Would you say going no contact is the best route to healing and clarity? Again, I didn't even realize that was a no contact question. Yes, go no contact. So for me, I was in a relationship for seven years and we broke up. I believe it was April, and we at first were in a

little bit of contact. I had my book come out, so he would wish me, like good luck on my book. He was getting a new job, so I was like good luck on that, and that was fine, and then we've been no contact since. And I think that going no contact really allows you to refocus on you the most. It hurts in a lot of ways, and it's sucky at the beginning, but if you keep allowing someone to contact you and you keep replugging into their energy, it

almost feels like they can pull on you. And then your energy is going towards your ex and you're trying to start something new with someone else, but you keep thinking of your ex because tomorrow he reaches out, and then the next day you're trying to refocus on the new guy. I think that the best thing to do when your emotions are very heightened is to take space from that other person. You don't even have to call

it no contact. I would just say, take some steps back, take some space, create space between you and this other person, because realistically, if someone doesn't want you, you have to ask yourself, why do I want someone who doesn't want me? That is gross. A queen does not beg she rules. A queen does not ask permission, she rules. A queen doesn't wait around, she rules. So what rules do you have to make for yourself to embody this queen energy? Do you think a queen would beg her ex to

stay in contact with her? I don't think so. I don't think so what would your queen self do? And that's the answer. And you'll be so surprised when you ask yourself this type of question. Instead of asking why doesn't he love me? When you ask what would my queen self? Do, you actually get answers that lead to self discovery. I think no contact is again painful at first, especially for women, but in the long run, it allows you to harness more of your own focus and energy.

And isn't that what a queen would do? Isn't that more helpful? Yes? Okay, another question? Please, please please, for one of your podcasts. Can you talk about not falling back into chaser energy? Any time you feel like you're about to fall back into chaser energy, what is your spark word to remind you to activate your queen energy? What is the spark word? Is it Russia? Is it Kingdom? Is it destiny? What is it? And you say it to yourself and yourself. No, this is what I'm moving towards.

I'm not chasing a man. I'm attracting my destiny and he can follow. He can figure it out. He'll find me. Don't worry about it. I said, you know, I'm not gonna look for my husband. He can find me. I have enough things on my plate. I can't add another. I'm having a terrible time with a guy I was seeing, and now he just keeps coming in and out. Whatever you allow, now I'm punching my computer. Look at this queen energy. Whatever you allow, you amplify. So if you

allow not great treatment, you're amplifying it. A princess feels like she doesn't have that much autonomy, so she does allow not great treatment. But a queen does not allow that. Instead of allowing negative treatment, allow them to leave and create proximity, create space from them, and that will allow better people to come in. We don't want to allow a lack mindset. We don't want to allow to constantly

feel like we're not getting what we need. And I think sometimes we forget how bad we allow it to get. But if you're having anxiety every single day about a guy, you're having a stomach ache every single day about a guy that's not the guy for you. The guy for you is gonna allow you to feel peace. What do we allow queen treatment? Only allow the man to pursue you, allow him to pay for you, allow him to show up for you, allow him to reach out to you, allow him to create a safe space for you. That's

what we will allow. He keeps coming in and out, and I always think I have a grip on myself concept. The minute he pops up, I fall back into chaser energy and he goes off again. This is someone who has a classic avoidant type, and it's truly up to you. Do you want to embody the princess energy where you're begging, you're waiting, or do you want to embody a queen energy and allow him to show you who he is? Allow him to leave your life, and then when he

comes back, do not allow him in. Because what we allow, we amplify. You have to set the rules for your kingdom. You have to set the rules for your life. What are the rules you're gonna have for yourself? Maybe you have to write it down. I'm not going to allow someone to come in and out. I'm not going to allow someone with an avoidant personality to get my emotions all over the place. They are not worth you derailing your destiny. Russia. We gotta get that in our dam heads.

Positive bitches. I hope this episode spoke to you. I hope you learn something from it. As always, the Sparkling Me honors to sparkle in you. If you have not yet gotten your copy of Show Up as Her, be sure to do that so you can learn everything you need and more. I will see you in the next one.