208. Finding Strength In Suffering

exactly who we came here to be. Today, we're going to talk about how to create the portal through the pain, how to deal with suffering and transmute it into success or at least get through the freaking season that we may be in. Before we get into all of this, a couple of announcements. If you're not yet following me on Instagram at Vibe with Cci, be sure to follow me there. The link will be in the show notes.

If you've not yet gotten your copy of Show Up as Her, my recently published book, then be sure to get a copy, as we're going to be pulling concepts from this book in today's podcast, and that's something we do quite frequently on That Bitch Is Positive and if you've not yet streamed putting my new song to help you put yourself back on the pedestal, then be sure to do that. All the links will be in the

show notes, and without further ado, let's get into today's episode. Okay, so Suffering, we all know her, we don't all love her. She exists in this realm, Yes she does. The interesting thing about suffering is it is congruent with every religion, with every belief system, whether it's Christianity or Buddhism. Suffering is in everything everything. It's almost like it's just a part of life. If you're a human, you're gonna suffer. Now.

I like to think the reason for this is because in heaven everything is perfect and we come down to planet Earth to experience. Contrast, we come down to planet Earth to experience a full range of human emotion, and that means the good stuff and the not so good stuff. We see this even in energetic universal laws like the law polarity. As deep as we feel pain, we're also

going to feel pleasure. So if suffering is not just in every religion or belief system, but it's also in the energetic laws, if it really is just a part of this human experience and there's no way around it. What do we do with it? How can we use it to our advantage? How can we move through it? How can we exist within it? Is really what I'm interested in. They say that we all experience pain, but suffering is a choice. And I want to bring your

attention to page eighty two in my book. Our subconscious mind, being the receiver of information, doesn't know if something is happening in real time or if we're just thinking about a past memory. My body was re experiencing the trauma every day, thinking it was happening in real time. The trauma I was referring to was my breakup, which you can read more about in the book. This is why breakups or any traumatic experience feels so intense even after

the fact. If we think about a painful past experience, our subconscious mind thinks it's happening again. What does our body do. It continuously releases the same chemicals such as cortisol and adrenaline, placing our body in the sympathetic nervous system, which causes burnout and exhaustion. My body thought every day that I was finding out again and again that mister Gray area was being unfaithful because I kept thinking about the experience. I kept bringing my pass into my p

which made it feel impossible to move on. He may have caused me pain, but I repeatedly tuned into the experience, causing myself to suffer. To say I had no choice but to think and feel about the situation for days on end to simply a lie. To say I had no choice but to cry about the situation all day

strips me of my free will. To say I had no choice but to revisualize painful memories daily is to say I'm nothing more than a past memory while waking up and immediately remembering the current circumstances of my life may have been out of my control. The second, third, fourth, and fifth thought, We're in my control, and I chose to think about things that were hurting me. Instead of focusing on a new beginning or how I could expand my creativity, I harped on the one thing I knew

was going to make me simply miserable. The reason why they say we all experience pain, but we don't have to suffer is because there is the belief that, Okay, you go through the painful experience but if you keep tuning into it every single day, you keep harping on that, you keep rethinking about it, you are then choosing to think about the experience, choosing to feel the pain, which is causing you to suffer. Now, maybe this painful memory

is coming up because you're avoiding feeling it. If you're turning to alcohol instead of just allowing the emotion to move through your body, you're extending your period of suffering because you're just not facing what's trying to be felt. Feelings are not there for just fun and games. Feelings present themselves because they're required to be felt so that

you can release them. We must feel to heal. I think a lot of us try to resist pain and suffering and the emotions that we probably deem negative or low and vibration. But when we resist those feelings, they actually just persist. When we try to run from our darkness, it chases us, it follows us. We're not helping ourselves. You can't avoid what must be felt. You can't outrun an experience an emotion because it will always pop back up.

That's why they say wherever you go, there you are. Yeah, okay, move to a different city, date a new person, change your job. If you are always just running from what's trying to be felt, you will be repeatedly met with experiences that trigger the same emotion. It will be in a different environment, it will be with different people, even at a new job, but those same emotions will be triggered again because your being is required to feel them. If a tough emotion is coming up for you, what

if you let it day. Our emotions are the guests in our house. They're meant to come in for a meal or some tea biscuit if you will, and then they're meant to go. We're not meant to repeatedly tune into negative emotions or painful experiences, and we're not meant to shut the door to them and never let them in. Let them men, feel them, and then release them, let them go. What if you let the pain of the breakup, the pain of getting fired, the pain of the friendship ending.

What if you let it in for ten minutes, just cry it out, let yourself feel it, journaled about it. Sometimes it's all you need a quick cry and you're good to go. It's kind of like a car wash, you know what I mean. You just get in and you get out. I want to bring our attention to page one h two. Pain can be the portal if you let it. Pain can lead us back home to ourselves. When I was dealing with my anxient attachment map in relation to my boyfriend feeling abandoned all the time, this

caused me great pain. If this pain had never been triggered, I would not have known there was something that needed to be healed within me. Our pain can be transmuted into our power when we take responsibility for our emotions and get curious about the root of them. This pain showed me what wounds were exposed, so I could nourish them with love. Instead of acting out from my attachment map, I had the chance to find myself and go back home to my home frequency, which is positive bitch frequency.

Since we have been programmed to push down our emotions, many of us feel like we're not allowed to feel anything. To take our power back, we must give ourselves permission to let our emotions come to the surface so that the energy can be transmitted into positive bitch frequency. So what I want us to do here and I give you the script in the book, But I want us to give ourselves permission to feel our suffering. We've been told don't cry. Oh, you're gonna be fine, You'll find

someone else, blah blah blah. We have been told time and time again to shut down our emotions. So many of us feel like it's a damn sin if we feel what we want to feel like we have to act tough all the time, that everything has to be fine. No, it doesn't. If you are not feeling fine, don't feel fine. Let yourself cry, let yourself feel to give yourself permission, Say I, and then state your name, so I see, see have the divine right to feel my emotions completely,

fully and thoroughly. I give myself permission to acknowledge and experience the energy in emotion that is within me. I welcome my emotions to the forefront of my being. I am feeling to heal, and it feels so good to do so. We have to instruct our subconscious mind to allow us to tap into the emotions that are lying dormant. We need to instruct our inner being that we're finally strong enough and ready to feel to heal. Suffering is

not necessarily a negative thing. It's a part of the human experience, feeling our own suffering and letting it be there, ironically, is what allows it to leave. We're not trying to outrun our pain. We're not trying to be in denial that we have negative emotions, and we are not ignored our own suffering. No, no, no, we are humans and these experiences are part of being human. You, on some level, as a soul, decided to incarnate on this planet during

this time, and you agreed to feel these emotions. Your soul, which is eternal, understands that these feelings are very temporary. These feelings are for now, They are not forever. We are one with nature, and just as nature has seasons, so do we. And if you've had difficult season after difficult season after difficult season, start celebrating because there's polarity in this universe and that means up next is positive

seasons of celebration. As far as the pendulum swings in one direction, it must always swing in the opposite equal direction. In my Bible, there is a chart and it says how to endure suffering. And I want us to break it down here. Okay, the wrong ways to react to suffering. Number one, demand to know, Oh the feminine urge to know why. It is prevalent it is, it's a mind virus in itself. I need to know why. I need

to know why. I need to know why, Baby girl, you might not ever know why, at least not as your human self. Maybe in your next incarnation, maybe in the space in between, but you might not ever know why. Why is not as important as accepting the current season and feeling the emotion. Why is not as important as

what can I learn from this experience. I always think about my uncle, who is six foot four and he's in his form now, but when he was seventeen years old, he was sitting on top of a car and his friend played a joke on him and started speeding, then slammed on the brakes and my uncle fell off the car. And ever since seventeen years old, he's brain damaged, so he can't walk, he can't talk, he can't communicate, he can barely eat on his own, he can kind of crawl,

he can't use the bathroom. And something my grandma always says to me, it it hurts my heart because I see the paint it has in her being. And she always says, Cecie, why, like why would this happen to me? Why would this happen to me? And I add to tell her Grandma, I don't think, as Rosalie, you'll ever know why? And I don't know that is the important part here. I think the important part here is you

showed unconditional love to your son. I think the important part here is you showed you know, forty something grandchildren with unconditional love looks like. I think the important part here is feeling the experience, not just knowing the why, the why, the why. Instead of knowing the why, how can we shift this to a higher perspective and say, well, what am I learning here? Unconditional love service to other Instead of trying to chase the why? Can you transmit

this question and say what am I learning? Because what am I learning will lead us to self discovery, It will lead us deeper. Why leads us into a never ending spiral and maybe we'll land on an answer, But it doesn't mean that it's even the correct one. Another wrong way to suffer is to withdraw from God and withdraw from others. Don't isolate yourself from God. Sometimes we need to take a step back from being around other people. Sometimes we need to just be in our own energy,

in our own space. That's understandable. I get that, fine, but don't withdraw from God. Every time I go through a painful experience, it is like a deeper bridge into the divinity. Because every single time I have suffering or pain or heartbreak and I feel like, why is this happening to me, I immediately say, oh, my God, have mercy on me for forgetting that I think I know all when really, you know, all have mercy on me for forgetting that God has plans for me to prosper. God

has plans for me to do greatness. Here I am sitting, Oh poor me, this is horrid. Well, I'm having heartbreak and I'm literally forgetting the fact that everything's working out for me, that God is always by my side. In fact, this painful experience is actually showing me that God is pretty protecting me. Because no, no, no, no, no, no,

it's not rejection, it's divine protection. I have created a meaning for pain, and every time it happens, I label it as and God is protecting me, and God wants me closer to Him, and God's reminding me to focus on Him, not just this three D play that I'm experiencing. Another wrong way is to decide the limits of your own endurance, to be impatient with God and seek your own remedies. Don't become impatient with God so much so that you are going to the alcohol, You're going to

the binging, You're going to those lower vibrational habits. Sit in it, Sit in it. The cure is talking to God. The cure is connecting to Jesus. The cure is calling on your angels. It's not in the bottle, it's not in the flesh, it's not in the person. I repeatedly have place my trust in people, in men, in boyfriends, and I think that we by accident idolize these people, and that makes some false idols, and that almost puts them above God because we end up giving them all

of our attention and our affection. We become obsessed, and then we don't pray as much, we don't pay attention to ourselves as much. We lose ourselves in that stuff. So I think that we gotta take a step back, sometimes even from our own desires because we think that they're the remedy. We think I just need marriage, or I just need a relationship, or I just need that job, or I just need that city, or I just need anything. When really we think we need something because we think

it's going to give us some sort of fulfillment. But what if the real fulfillment is through God. I mean, I've had, you know, months of great financial success or with followers and social media stuff. Eh yeah, okay, cool for the moment. But nothing feels as fel feeling as connecting to the divine. Nothing is as longstanding, beneficial, or as loving. Do not give up to despair, Do not delude yourself, Do not indulge yourself, Do not become angry,

and do not become depressed. So these are all the things we don't want to do, and how do we not do them? I really think we have to repeatedly and consistently remind ourselves over and over and over again. If this is happening to me, it must be happening for me. If this is occurring in my reality, there's something I'm not seeing that God knows, and therefore I'm

being protected. I recently went through some weird, weird experience with a weird person, okay, and I am writing about this in my next book, So I cannot wait and I will give you all the details.

to do? And then I started crying in my car because I'm like, silly me, silly me thinking I have to know why right now. Silly me thinking I'll ever know why. Silly me forgetting that there is a greater plan on my life. Silly me forgetting that this is protection. Silly me forgetting that God is in control here and if someone's meant to be in my life, they're going to be in my life and there's no offends or butts about that. Why would I become depressed about being protected?

Why would I become in despair because I'm being redirected to something better. I made a Reel the other day, and I said, every time my heart breaks, I become more of a lover girl because I'm recognizing that every situation I'm entering into and dating, they're getting better and better and better, even if they end abruptly or not so great. But I'm seeing, Okay, I'm getting closer to what I want. None of these things are that bad. So oh my god, what's actually for me must be

freaking amazing. It must be beyond my comprehension, beyond what I can conceive. And I allow myself to actually get excited from the suffering, excited from the pain, because if this was an okay experience, or I really like this person, what is it going to feel like when I actually find that person who's meant to stay with me? That must be this but on steroids. I can't wait for that. Let's talk about the right ways to endure suffering. Number one,

be content to know who is in charge. I personally love letting go and letting God. That can be your mantra. I let go and I let God, or I let go and I let flow, because then instead of me thinking I have to control everything, I have to be in the driver's seat. I can just say, huh, God will take care of it. If it's meant to be, it shall be. It's working out in my favor, it's working for me. Everything's working to my benefit. So if something's leaving my life, it's meant to go to make

room for something better. What do you think feels better? I have to control everything, and if I don't control everything, then everything's gonna fall apart. Or I can just give it up to God and it will be done for me. It's like a pretty easy answer, I personally feel anyway. Number two, acknowledge that He is with you, pray all the more. You know. What's so interesting? The other day, I was at the park and I was feeling kind of low. I was feeling kind of down, okay, and

I had like sad music on. I was like, what am I doing? I was letting myself feel what I wanted to feel. And then I was like, okay, let's change some music. Let's get into some worship tunes. Okay, And I instead reminded myself once again, oh my God, I have so much to be grateful for. Why am I praying to God pleading with him? When I should be praising him for what I do have, because I have so many things that a couple of years ago I was praying for a couple months ago, I was

praying for I now have it. When you're in that state of oh my God, I hate everything, I feel depressed. Out of that, put on worship music and remember who the f you are, Remember what you have, Remember the Lord your God. Okay, because even in unknown seasons, we have a known God. Let him fight your battles for you. I remember asking God, God, I'm so tired of fighting. I'm so tired of doing this. And you know what he said, Ceci, Then stop. You're choosing to fight with

your free will. You're trying to drag people into your reality. You're trying to claw them down, and you gotta let go or be dragged. Babe, what do you want to do if you're tired of fighting? Simply stop? What are we doing? Now? I get it, but what are we doing? Keep fellowship with believers When you're feeling down, connect to someone who all so knows God because they will mirror you. They will reflect you. Listen. I know sometimes things are weird,

sometimes things are crazy. Sometimes we don't understand why everything is unfolding in the way it is. But it doesn't mean that the dolts aren't gonna connect in your highest favor. Know that God sets and knows your limits. This is kind of like the quote God gives his battles to those who can handle them, and the tougher battles go

to the strongest soldiers. I really do think the higher the call on your life, the harder the experiences you're probably gonna go through because you can't be like everyone else if you're meant to be their leader, you can't. You're gonna have to experience life differently. You're gonna need more time and solitude. You're gonna need more time to

be with just you and get to know you. I think that we don't know our own strength, and the only way to find out what we're capable of is to go through some things and get out the other side. And every time I think I can't handle something, I'm like CC. But you've been through X, Y and Z and you got out of there. And yet maybe I am not where I want to be, but I'm also

not where I was. And oh my god, I've been to a lot of places, and oh my god, I got out of there, and oh my God, like it where I am now, and oh my God, I can do it again. And when you think you can't, you must. And that's the truth of it. Wait for its perfect timing. We know that we can't control winter, spring, fall, summer. We know it's divine timing that these seasons come in. It's the law of nature, it's the love of one.

We know. Just because you want your baby to get out of your stomach in two months doesn't mean it's gonna happen, because there's divine timing. If you want to ignore divine timing, you totally can, but you're gonna frustrate yourself. If you're struggling with divine timing, it just means that you need to fulfill your present moment a little bit more. I just signed up for a cooking class. I've been signing up for energy classes. Get busy with things that

you want to learn. Become an interesting person, what a concept. Put yourself in new experiences and new environments. Meet new people, because really, when do we rush to the next phase of our life, it's when we're not happy in the current one. Maybe God wants to show you some things in this current season and you're being invited to meet new people, trying new things, but all you're doing is trying to rush to the next one. What does this season have to offer you? Trust the Lord to guide.

Of course, get on that prayer game, even if you're just talking to the divine, even if you're just asking your spirit guides, your angels to step in and help you. And if you want to learn how to connect with your spirit guides in a safe way, you can get my book Show up as her Wait upon the Lord, Seek the Truth, keep pure, master your anger, and hope in the Lord. That's a big one. That's a big one because I feel like we put our hope in people.

We're in situationships and we're hoping they're gonna change, hoping they're gonna ask us out, hoping they're gonna be the guy that we want them to be. Instead of doing that hope in God that he's going to deliver the right person at the right time. Because God won't disappoint you, and if anything, he'll just surprise you with something better. But He's not gonna disappoint you. And I can't say that for the mere mortals of this planet. I can't.

I'm so sorry. Some people may disappoint you. They may, but you know who won't God. So don't put your trust in Harry and David. Put your trust in God to bring you the right person at the right time. And another thing about suffering is I recently started reading The Game of Life and there's this really interesting concept. It's actually something that my dad always says. He always says, Cecie, once you meet your person, everyone else you're just gonna

forget about. You won't care about an X or a situationship or anything else, because when you meet your person, it's like none of those things ever even happens. You forget about it because you're so happy in the moment. And in this book, the author talks about something called

the law of substitution. I think this is important because sometimes we're harping on the current circumstance when another circumstance is eventually going to supersede this one, and it's gonna feel so much better, and you're gonna forget this one ever even existed. You're not gonna care. One of the great mental laws is a law of substitution. This means that the only way to get rid of a certain

thought is to substitute it for another one. You cannot necessarily dismiss a thought directly, but you can do so by substituting the bad thought for a better one. And in the book, the example they give is there is this woman, So let's just call this woman Becky. Becky goes to the author and she says, can you please speak life over my relationship? Can you make my man into the man that I need him to be. I'm obsessed with him, I'm in love with him. And the

author says, I can't make your current partner your dream partner. However, I can ask and I can state that your dream partner will come in. And what ends up happening is the woman naturally lost a traction for her current partner, and a better man did step in. And this is the law of substitution. The author is trying to illustrate that the right idea can replace the wrong one and will get so much more joy from it. Instead of harping on the specific circumstance, think about what it is

that you want to feel. Instead of saying it has to be this person, say to yourself, know the feeling I want to to feel. Fulfilled because the wrong person can't give you the right emotion and the right fulfillment. And make some room because maybe it's not this person. Maybe it's someone better. Maybe it's not this position, it's something better. Our ceiling is God's floor. We don't know it all, which we say a lot on this podcast.

Instead of striving for what we think is best for us, let's instead think about, well, what do I want to feel? What do I want to experience? Okay, let me state that the right person will come in, the right career will come in, the right opportunity will come in where I feel aligned and happy and joyful, instead of it has to be this person, this thing, and if it doesn't happen, then I don't like you got anymore and I'm mad. No, No, That is getting lost in the

sauce girl. That is forgetting that this is a three D play and we are so much more than this. I mean, zoom out a little bit, zoom out, zoom out, take a deep breath. I've had to a lot this week. Oh my god, but zoom out. We're getting lost in it sometimes and we're forgetting why we're here. We're getting obsessed with Harry and forgetting that. Wait a second, Harry's literally an alcoholic and I can probably do better. The last thing I really want to talk about is just

be careful about how you label your suffering. I think we get lost in it so much that we sometimes can miss the fact that our triggers are sent to teach us, and our triggers are trying to break us open so we can let the light in our pain. Our suffering can be used against us, or we can use it to our advantage and we can get better. So what is this season of difficulty training you for? What is it teaching you? What is it showing you?

Are you becoming more discerning? Are you understanding more about yourself, your attachment system? What is it trying to show you? Because I truly don't believe it's here for no good reason. How are you labeling your suffering? Because if you're telling yourself that all these bad things are happening to you and you're never looking for a silver lining, you're going to cause a lot of lower vibrational emotions to be elicited, and it's not even true. If you're going to talk

to yourself, don't lie to yourself. Look for this silver lining. Look for the lesson instead, because that's always going to be closer to the truth of what's occurring in your life. We don't want to miss out on the lessons because we're too focused on the losers. Okay, leave the losers, take the lessons. It's also worth asking yourself, is there a way I can use my suffering to my advantage. That's what I love to do. I really do love to do it because suffering, if you think about it,

it's just another energy form. And when we're suffering, we're really feeling a lot of angst, a lot of anxiety, and it's like a build up of energy. What are you gonna do with all that energy? What are you gonna do with all that energy? I personally like to create. I'll write a book. I'll write a damn second book. I will create a TikTok, a real a podcast. Suffering. Really, when we break it down, it's just amped up energy. It's lower vibrational energy. Sure, but you can transmute that.

You can make the pain into the portal. You can make that energy work for you, giving you an extra ump to stay later at work, to do more of a workout. When you get home, to write the book, to do whatever. I am going to use all of my energy, even when it's lower in vibration, even when it's negative, even when it's said, I'm gonna use it in my own life. If there's energy to be used, I'm not gonna sit on it like an egg. It's not gonna hatch. I want to move it through my body.

Go do that yoga workout, go create that podcast, use your stuff ring because it's just energy. Use your suffering so it cannot use you. So there are moments when you're gonna want to cry it out, scream it out, talk to God, whatever. And then in other moments when you feel like there's no more room for that for that day, go create something. And now that's suffering that was sent to destroy you actually just making you stronger.

As always the sparkling me honors of sparkling you. I love you so much and I will see you in the next one.