Andenogy, sit cancit, I'm so high ecstasy, sag cancelgema not Sorryenogy. What's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing this episode, then you are meant to be here, So keep listening on that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, baby Girl, we're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered
positive bitch self. That is Babe in true connection with herself. On this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into exactly who we came here to be. Today we're talking about one of my favorite topics, which is dating and relationships. I do want to quickly just say that as of April twenty fourth, Mercury is going direct, so you don't have to worry so much about those x is and things from your past coming
back up. You should be experiencing much more clarity, and if you're not just yet, you will be in the next coming days. And if we're getting clarity, it's an amazing time to really get clear about what we want to not only get out of a relationship, but what is it do we want to give to a relationship. Because a relationship. I don't even believe it's fifty to fifty. I think it's one hundred and one hundred. Recently, there has been this cultural phenomenon, if you will, called drizzle Drizzle.
Now, maybe you haven't heard about this yet, but you probably have heard of something called Sprinkle Sprinkle Shira seven. Now, I'm just gonna play you the audio of some of Shira seven seven videos. If you don't know who she is, but she is someone who talks about dating and relationships and it's really focused on how to get a provider man and she coaches mostly women. But this is one of her videos. How do you know if a dude is lying if his lips moved? Sprinkles, Prinkle, you said there's
nothing wrong with you income. That's right, so there should be nothing wrong with you having two jobs. Sprinkles, You're totally right. I totally agree with you. No, what's your second job? Sir? This is another one. How do you ask man for money without feeling that like this? Do you want to make me happy right now? Yeah, I'm gonna make you happy too, But later on, what do you want? Then? West Spring has ear like this and give me as much money as you choose.
It's kind of a te I just want to see what you're gonna give it, Like, Okay, let's go. So she is very much on the sideline of soft girl era, how to get money from your man. And because of this being so widespread and received by women, men are now responding with drizzle drizzle and entering their soft guy era. And that's what we're going to talk about today. But before we get into it, and we talk about how to respond to the soft guy era, how to date as
a modern woman. If you will, I do have a couple of announcements. Okay, April thirtieth, my book Show Up as Her comes out, and I'm so excited for you to have it. If you have not ordered it just yet, girl, what are you doing? Go to the link in the show notes and pre order Show Up as Her so you can get it asap. I put all of my positive energy tears sparkle, and I I really impressed beautiful magnetic energy into every single word. So just by having
this book and reading it, it will uplift your vibration. I also don't leave anything out, whether it's about ego, quantum leaping, or dating, you will learn all of that and more in Show Up as Her as my first book. I really wanted to get everything I possibly could into it. This book will give you ten laws of positive biteology, which ultimately will just
activate your most magnetic timeline. So if you have been working on yourself and you just don't know what you need to do in order to really get to the next level, Show Up as Her will give you all the answers that you have been looking for. Also, if you have not yet tried Magic Mind, I am absolutely in love with Magic Mind. I was drinking pre workout and I would get the highest highs and the lowest lows. It was also giving me hormonal acne. And then I heard about something called Magic Mind
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If you are looking for one on one guidance, you're loving the podcast, but you want more. I am offering one on one coaching sessions. I'm a certified Life and Energy coach and I would love to help you anyway that I possibly can. DM me on Instagram, at vibue, at CC to learn more how I can be of service to you. Without further ado,
let's get into today's episode. So, in response to the sheer seven to seven mindset of Sprinkle Sprinkle, there have been a plethora of men now saying drizzle, drizzle, And it wouldn't be right if I didn't show you these videos, at least two of them, so you can understand what I'm saying. And then we need to talk about how we can actually respond to both
of these point of views and get what it is we want. I just got off the phone with someone I was seeing, and she asked me how my day was going, and I explained I was at the airport, and then she said, I'm glad you got there safe, and I said, yeah, I had to take an uber. I had to block her. I mean, she was great and everything. She was emotionally intelligent, always
paid for dinner, pretty much cater to my every knee. But if you hear I'm taking ano uber to the airport and your first move is not to open up Venmo and send me money, are you even a real woman? And then you find out I'm on a commercial flight, you don't immediately charter me a private jet. I know my work, drizzled, drizzle, I'm in my soft guy era. I want to be paipered, And if you're broke, just say that and I'm sure later she'll come around looking for some
sugar. But this sugar don't mix without drizzle. Okay, here's another one, just so you get the full stepe. I go on a date with a female and the bill comes and I look at it and I say, uh, you know, was so good to see you and everything. She don't pick up the bill, and she said, oh, you're not going to pay for it. I said, what, drizzle drizzle, I'm not going to pay for anything that's giving me an ick, Like I don't know what you're talking about, Like you're you should be paying for the bill.
Like I don't know what you're talking about. Like I got ready, Like my suit costs like thousands of dollars. I got ready for you. My cologne costs a couple thousand, Like I got ready and showed up, Like I don't know what you're on, but I'm my soft guy era drizzle Drizzle. So I'm just trying to make sure that you understand that what's happening here is that you need to really put out. I don't know really what you
have to offer. You could just say you're broke. But you could just say you're broke because I got a maid, I got a chef, I got an assistant. I don't really need a woman, So if you're broke, you can just say so, you know, but I have to go ahead and block her. I was not going back home with her. You know, if you and your soft guy era continue to be in your soft guy era, because we are not lowering our standards, we will find someone who would do better. So do I think these soft guy era videos are
real? No? I think they're trying to make their own little point that maybe they feel like people are not valuing the right things when it comes to dating and might be too quick to cut someone off, maybe for the not not the best reasons. So when I hear drizzle drizzle, do I think they're really being serious? No? I think Shira seven to seven or whatever her name is, is really funny. I think these videos are really funny.
I think they're both comical. But can I tell you what the truth is both of these points of view, these lenses are way too narrow for a real relationship. If all you're looking for is an ATM and another person, don't look for a relationship because let me just tell you, it will not sustain you and it will not fulfill you. If you think getting all your bills paid is what's going to make you happy at the end of the
day, you have a route awakening waiting for you. Because when you come home after a long day and all you want to do is cry and have someone to talk to you, well, all you if you've ever looked for as an ATM, you didn't look for someone who's able to hold your emotional body. You didn't look for someone who's able to respond and be vulnerable with I am not disagreeing with all the things that Chira seven seven seven is saying, but I'm saying when you do only look for an ATM to be your
partner, you miss out on so much more. And when you do that, it tells me that you're in survival mode. You're in a lack mindset. You don't trust God, you don't trust yourself to be able to attract finances on your own. You have to rely on this other person. If that's all you're looking for, you need to broaden your horizons here, because we need more than that. You're prioritizing a financial need. But what about everything else? What about everything else? To me, those things are important
Emotionally, you'll be able to meet me. Intellectually, you'll be able to meet me financially. I do want you to be in good standing, of course, but it's not just that. I think what has happened is women have been fed a lie. You know how I feel about feminism, Okay, At one time feminism was a great thing. Yes, we should be paid equally for the same job. Yes we should have the right to vote.
Yes, yes, yes. However, when there are these social movements, they end up going into the wrong people's hands, and they then are expanded into what they should not be. Feminism turned into oh, you want to beat men, become more like them. I don't want to be a man. I'm a woman, Okay, period. I don't want to become more like a man. I don't. I don't even want to be treated equal to men. I want to be treated better. Are you the window to another realm? If able to birth human beings out of your body?
No? Okay, well then, end of story. I think that we have been fedali to move up the corporate ladder and work work, work, work work. We have a very different operating system than men do. They run on a twenty four hour cycle. Society is built for their cycle.
We're on a twenty eight day cycle, our hormones, we function differently, and I think women have become so burnt out because they have been believing the lie that we're constantly fed that we should be this boss babe, move up the ladder, whatever it may be, instead of actually just listening to our own flow and our authentic hormonal cycle. I think because we're so burnt out, we really have highlighted we want to be in our soft girl era.
This is what happens when we go too far in one direction. We tend to course correct because we're realizing this does not work. It doesn't work for us. When they is any one of these movements soft girl era movement, some voices will be highlighted like sheer a seven seven seven, and sometimes most of what they say can be right, but it doesn't mean it's exactly hitting the nail on the head. Just like there's toxic masculinity masculinity, there can
also be toxic femininity. We've been telling men for a really long time that they're toxic, and so I believe a lot of masculine traits have now been removed from men and they have become more soft guy era because they've been told they're toxic, and I do see a lot of toxic femininity where we're only wanting a man who can pay for everything, and we're not actually valuing them as a human being. Both of these things. We need to find common
ground again. And it just drives me crazy because people want commitment, they want love, they want relationship. But when we're falling into these TikTok traps of you only can think this one way. I think it really does sometimes more harm than good to me. When I think about princess treatment, it's not just oh, my person's inn ATM for me. I do want them paying for the dates. I do want them taking care of mostly everything. But they're not just an ATM. That's insane, that's not even what who
would want that in ATM? Can't hug you, sorry, I don't know who else to tell you that. I'll be the one to tell you. Princess treatment is not just oh my person pays for me. It's also they can be emotionally vulnerable with you, hold space for you, they can open the door for you. They respect you, they see you as a whole human being. They're not just objectifying you in any relationship. It's not just
fifty to fifty. It's really one hundred one hundred. But what we're giving is oftentimes different, and that's why you're in a relationship with another person because what you can give maybe they can't, and what they can give, maybe you can't. What I find so interesting is that at first we saw women having this trend of I can't trust men, so I'm gonna become my own
man. I'm gonna be independent, and I don't need you. So women were, in that sense subconsciously trying to become the men that they couldn't be with. And now we're kind of seeing that with men. They're saying, Oh, you're gonna reject us because we don't have money, X, Y and Z, Well, you want to be in your soft girl era, we're gonna be in our soft guy era. Why are we mirroring one another in these ways instead of trying to fight fire with fire, instead of trying
to become one another, why don't we just lean into our strengths. What a guy can offer me, I offer him completely different things, completely different. That's why we're coming together as a team. That's a whole point. It's gonna be one hundred percent energy from that man and one hundred percent energy from me. But what that guy offers me will be different than what I offer. I'm offering feminine energy, I'm offering creativity. I'm offering really an
energy that creates that home. You know how they say that a woman really makes a home because it's it's her energy, her decorations that fills it and makes it a house feel like a home. It's different, it's different, and that's okay. We don't have to be like one another. Let's actually use our opposites to strengthen one another. And I find it really interesting. But usually in a relationship, I feel like, oh, this is not a bad thing. But I do believe this is true. I feel like
men feed off of women's energy, but not in a bad way. Just because feminine energies are the creators. We literally birth out a human being from another realm. We are the creators. We have this energy, this force that's strong and loud, and that energy that fills a home that grounds a man and also gives him confidence to go out and do what he needs to do in the workplace in his life. And so I don't expect everything that
I give to a man for him necessarily to give to me. I expect we're going to fulfill one another, but probably in different ways, but in perfectly different ways. If you're a woman, you're leading with your divine, feminine energy. There's nothing wrong with looking for a protector and a provider. I actually encourage that. But I wouldn't just say look for an ATM because
a protector and a provider what does that actually mean. It means they have a relationship with God, they have values, they have morals, and yes, they can also financially hold themselves and hopefully you and potentially a future family. But a protector and a provider is not just a stack of money, because let me just tell you, you're gonna want more than that. You're gonna want someone to hold you when you're upset, You're gonna want someone to
help you one day when you're having a bad day. Just trust me on that one. Okay. We need to be really, really clear and concise with what we actually want and what we're valuing. I also think it's an important note to say that, yes, we're all created equally, but we're not equal in the marketplace and in the dating pool, we're not equal. Sorry, You're not equal in the marketplace of career either. None of us
are. We're not equal. If you have a degree in it, you are more valuable to someone who's hiring for it than I am because I don't have that degree. We are created equal, but we don't have equal value in the marketplace or the dating pool. That's the truth. Someone who has a job and has a good head on their shoulders and has good morals is more attractive in the marketplace than someone who is a bum duh. So if you're out there dating, you should be thinking like that. You should be.
You want to be working on yourself so you are your best self, by the way, for you, like you came all the way down to planet Earth and incarnated here. Don't you want to feel good about your life and what you're offering to this incarnation. Don't you want to feel good about yourself? You should be working on your mind, bodies, spirit, morals, values. Even whatever you're doing, your passion project, your career, whatever you're doing in your life, you should be building yourself up. When
are we happiest as humans, it's when we're growing something. We know that when we get what we want, we're like okay, and now what As humans, we are happiest when we're in a progression towards something, when we're processing towards something. So what are you building up in your life? Baby girl? I hope it's you. I hope it's you. I think both shire A seven seven seven and the soft guy era movement, if you will, they're both just too narrow of a lens to actually live through. If
you want a real relationship. I always think it's best to work on yourself and become the most valuable version of you that you can possibly create. Again, not just for attracting a partner, but really for yourself. To me, you're either growing or you're dying. And baby girl, I did not come here to just straight up die. I want to grow. I want to find out how far I can go. I asked on Instagram. Be sure to follow me at vibe with CC if you're not already. What questions
do you have about dating relationships? And we got a ton of beautiful, amazing questions that I want to get to. The first question we have is my energy is open and I'm looking, but I can't find anyone. It's hard to stay positive. So oh, look, your past doesn't have to equal your present or your future. And in order for your past to not equal your present and your future, you have to change what your beliefs are.
It wouldn't be shocking to me if somewhere in your brain there's a bunch of neurons firing off that have the belief there's no one out there for me. Dating is so hard and all of that jazz. Obviously, I've been crying in my last two podcasts. I'm single once again. If you couldn't tell whatever. So I am actually excited in many ways because I get to use all of my techniques that I know works so well, and me and
my person all love to him and we are on good terms. And I've been single for like a week or something, and I've already met amazing, great men. Honestly, like, I don't know what you people are talking about. I have to say, I have to be honest. I don't know. I'm not saying I'm marrying any of these people. Obviously I don't know them enough. But I went out and people always tell me it's so
hard to find spiritual people. The first person I'm talking to, we go into a deep dive about ananaki ets we're talking about politics, we just go right into it, right into it. So I'm telling you take responsibility over your dating and your relationships because there are amazing men out there. There's amazing people out there, and they're all just waiting for you. What is the mindset I have that allows me to stay positive and attract amazing people into my
life? Number One, I know if I exist, then there must be some sort of male version of me or someone who's like my vibration that exists too. If I'm real, they have to be real too. And if I didn't meet them yet, okay, that's fine. I'm still cooking myself up and they must be cooking themselves up too. But we will align. And in the meantime, I'm going to work on myself, my health, my fitness, my mindset, my career, the things I want to see.
Don't forget. You most likely have had dreams since you were a baby. What are those dreams? And are you watering them? Are you nourishing them? Are you nourishing your friendships? Your hobbies? Be a full human. Be a full human. Don't be afraid to have hobbies and activities and things that really truly interest you, because the most interesting person in the room attracts other interesting people. There's not any interesting person that goes out there and
says I want to find the most boring human being on planet Earth. That does not happen. When you're interesting, you attract interesting people. I also think that when you do meet someone that is getting closer to what it is you want, have a notebook and journal about it. I'm so excited that I found someone who's closer to what it is I want. I feel really good that I'm getting closer and closer to the vibration of the type of human
that I want to be with. Because I have to say, you can't be thinking that all men suck and all men are trash, and all men are in their soft girl era or soft man era and expect to attract a good guy. It's just not gonna happen. Also, change up your environment. I told you I've been in my selective solitude era, and I went down to Florretta. I've been going to church. I've been going to restaurants. I've been going to bars. I've been going just to the beach.
I go to a bunch of different places. A yoga studio, Plates class. Obviously probably not going to meet a guy in Plates, but I still go there because I might meet a girlfriend there and someone I can go out with and get dinner with. Put yourself out in different environments. If you feel like where you're going, you're just not meeting the type of people that you want to meet. Another question was how to meet potential partners. Dating
apps haven't really worked for me in the past. I don't think it's really about the dating app as much as it is about the energy you bring to the dating app. If it's all selfies, that doesn't tell anyone anything about you. Really, make sure that you're not just writing the answers to the questions on the dating apps. Don't tell who you are. Show who you are, Show your personality. If you like to hike, put a hiking picture. If you love cooking, put a picture of you cooking. If
you love to go to the beach, put a picture there. Show who you are, Let your personality shine through. I'm also very much in the mindset of I love and respect myself so much, and I know how much of an amazing person I am. I'm never trying to prove myself to someone else. And as soon as you feel yourself starting to try to prove yourself to someone else, read it back in because you are not here to sell
yourself. You're here to embody your energy authentically and attract. So when you start to chase, remember anything we chase, whether it's a bug or a boy, it will only run away from us. I like to think that I am this beautiful temple, I am this altar. What are you bringing as an offering to my altar? And if I like your offering, I can accept and I will respond to you and we can see what happens. But I am not out there trying to say this is what I bring to
the table. That is not how I operate. I know who I am, I know what my temple embodies. What are you offering to me. How to be a high value woman, I think it's very similar to being a high value man. It's someone who has morals and values and who takes care of themselves mentally, physically, spiritually. It's someone who understands what they bring and their value. They understand who they are, confident in who they
are. And I think that a high value man understands his role as a protector and a provider, and I think a high value woman understands her role as bringing this really beautiful, grounding energy into the relationship, something that can sustain possibly not just her future partner, but her family too. How to start a conversation with someone you find attractive at the bar, You don't have to do much. You can just smile at them, you can wave at
them. You can literally this past weekend there was a table behind us and I literally just bumped into the chair and was like, oops, my bad, and then they just started talking to us. So it doesn't have to be like some grand opening where you are expressing this soliloquy or monologue. You can just open up the conversation with what are you drinking? Waving, smiling. I don't think there's anything with being the person who opens up the conversation,
especially as women. I think a lot of men are fearful of rejection because they deal with it more of the time, and there's a difference between choosing who you are and chasing. Nothing wrong with choosing opening up a conversation, But once you do that, feel out if they're also giving energy back to you, or are they looking all around the room trying to escape from
you. So if you feel like they're not giving back the same energy, rejoin your friends, go to the bathroom, regroup, and then if they're into it, they'll come. How to stop attracting those who only want to be intimate, Stop being intimate with them, period period. If you don't want to be used, don't allow them to use you. That's all. That's all. Stop allowing what you don't want to amp la phi The line
between recognizing is he love bombing or just being too nice. If someone is love bombing you, they're gonna be saying I love you, I'm obsessed with you, all these things without actually fully knowing you. If you know, in your heart of hearts, I don't actually know this person and they don't know me yet they're saying all these things and treating me like their whole wife, that's love bombing. No one should be doing that to anybody. It's
impossible to know someone that quickly. So if you know you don't even know them and they don't know all these different parts of you yet, they're acting like they do. Red Flag in your twenties and never dated anyone, but always had crushes but nothing worked out. Okay, there's no question there. But I would say, you know, get out there, have fun, girl, get up on that horse, and just see what the world has
to offer you. It's fun. Dating can be fun, and I really recommend not making it so serious because as soon as we do that and put pressure on ourselves, it becomes so draining and it's no longer fun when you're out there at a bar or d or meeting people. Just think about it as this person can be a potential friend, a potential business partner, a potential lover. You don't know, you don't know, you don't know God's plan. Allow the plan to unfold for you. I'm interested in people in
general. I like having conversations, even if we're just talking about ets. That's fine with me. I don't need to love you. I don't need to make out with you for us to have a good conversation. So I would really recommend look at dating and relationships and going out as you just opening yourself up to new people, because really that's what it is, and don't take it so seriously. I know you want your husband or your wife or whoever it may be. You'll get them. You'll get them. Work on
yourself. You have to set yourself up in a position to have success, so that means you have to put yourself out there. You can't be scared because remember what we talked about last time. You might be scared, but you have to keep going anyway. So if you are scared, okay, well sucks to suck. You gotta keep moving forward. Like I said time, I'm sometimes scared too, but that doesn't mean I stop. I have to keep going. We all do how to deal with your family community opinions
after getting back with your twin flame. At the end of the day, you have to be with your partner for the rest of your life, so your opinion matters most. If there are people who really love you and are telling you, look, this person treats you really badly, you should take that into consideration. But at the end of the day, you do have to live with them. You do have to love them, so your opinion should matter the most. Single Mama is a man that leaves you while you're
pregnant. That was never a man. That's a boy, and you're so blessed that he left now rather than later. Now you can set your sights on what you need to pay attention to which is this baby, and you can work on building up you and this baby and you will attract someone who will love you and that baby. You don't have to worry. Okay, positive bitches. That is about it for this week's episode. I do want
to remind you to order show up as Her. We talk about manifestation one oh one in this book How to Attract Men, which I'm telling you is super easy if you do it right, it's super easy and it's super fun. It's not supposed to be this scary, difficult thing. And if you have insecurities and you're afraid to do it, work on yourself and then get back up on that horse. But show up at her. It can help you do so. I love you so much and I'll see you the next
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