Cancel, Higg, cancelge It's not sorry, Andy. What's up? Positive bitches? How are we feeling today? If you're hearing this episode, then you were meant to be here, So keep listening on that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, Baby Girl, we're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered positive bitch self that
is Babe in true connection with herself. On this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into exactly who we came here to be. Today, we're going to talk about how to unlock our divine inheritance, how to unlove fuck divine prosperity that can sustain us so many of us. We can attract wealth. We attract prosperity in one season and then we
lose it in the next. We're gonna talk about how to build a relationship with God, an abundant relationship with God, not only so we can feel grounded and sustained emotionally and intellectually and spiritually, but also so we can feel safe physically by attracting a abundance. Now, I want to bring your attention to situationships for just one second, We've all had that dude in our life who only hits us up when he wants a little sugar sugar. Think about
that dynamic you had with that dude. He only texts you, he only calls you when he wants to come over at eleven pm for you know what, how does that make you feel? He doesn't value your intellect, your emotional self. He doesn't see you as a full human Yeah, he just wants to see you when he can get something out of it. How does that make you feel? It makes us feel used. It makes us feel like we don't have true value as a full human being. We're only valuable
when we can give this person what it is they want. Now, think about your relationship to God, because so many of us are in situationships with God. We only hate God up when we want a little sugar sugar, a little money in the bank, a little something for free. We only pray talk to God when we want something, when we need something, and we're forgetting that Having a relationship with God means we actually need to build a
relationship with God. It cannot just be the situationship where we only talk to him when we want something. There's nothing wrong with being honest with God and saying God, this is what I want, this is what I need. But if that's the only time we're ever talking to God, don't you feel like God and be like Nah, I don't think you're really understanding what it means to have this incarnation. We have to stop treating God like a side
chick. If you want to unlock prosperity, if you want to unlock feeling grounded, the one thing that's going to sustain you is your relationship with God. I've had months where I blew past what I wanted to do financially, I blew past my goals, and you know what, that was fine and dandy, But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter as much as your relationship with God. Because the numbers will go up and they will go down, and things will shift to the left, and then they're gonna
shift to the right. The one thing that is a constant in your life is your connection to God. When you're up, God's there. When you're down, God's there. When you going to the left, God's there. You want to make sure you're cultivating a relationship with God so you can unlock that divine inheritance. Now a quick word on how I view God, just so you know, first of all, the word God. Words can only ever point to the truth. They can never fully encompass what God actually is.
God is a man made word. The same way when I say I love my mom, I love my partner, I love my dog, the word love can never fully encompass how I actually feel. The word God can never fully encompass what God actually is. This all loving, divine, energetic source. I could say that every time I refer to God, but saying the word God is just easier. So that's what I'm gonna use. That's what I grew up hearing. Okay, that's number one. Number two to
me, God is an all loving energy force that created everything. He created the energetic universe. The energetic universe is a tool we can use to manifest our desires. The energetic universe responds to the energy we broad cast. The energetic universe was created by God as a tool to help us use our free will manipulate reality so we can get what it is we want. Okay, before we get into today's episode and we talk about how to cultivate a relationship
with God, how to get what it is we want. I do have a couple of announcements. It is officially April, the month of Show Up as Her, releasing April thirtieth, Show Up as Her, my book, our book finally comes out, and I'm so excited for you to have this in your hands. It's ten laws, a positive bitology, each law teaching you how to reclaim your power, step into your magnetic energy, and positively manifest. I don't leave anything out. It is sweat, sparkled tears,
and I impressed upon this book. Positive energy into every single word. I've been working on this book for I believe it's multiple years now. I can't even keep track of time, but yes, multiple years, and it is just my gift you. So if you want to read Show Up as Her and get the charts and the images and all of that jazz, you can pre order Show Up as Her now on Amazon. If you're in the US, you can do that now. If you're out of the US, it
will be available on May thirtieth. Also, if you're looking for more intimate guidance, I am a certified life and Energy coach. You can DM me now on Instagram at vibein with CC to hear more about my packages and how I can help you. But without further ado, let's just get in today's episode because we have so much to talk about. I asked you on my Instagram at Vibe with CC. Be sure to follow me there for daily magnetic tips and tricks. I asked you what questions do you have about prosperity and
how to connect to God, how to rely on God? And one of the questions was can you discuss how to approach God as your friend instead of fearing them? And my response to this is God, God is not my friend. God is not my side chick. I view God as my whole husband. I'm being dead serious. I see God as my whole husband. I rely on God financially, emotionally, intellectually, physically. He is the infinite source of all of everything. God's bank is the biggiest bank out there.
I'm not going to have this lack mindset and just focus on the physical when I know God is the ultimate source of all things, that is my divine inheritance. I really recommend you to see God not as your friend, not as something to fear, not as a side chick where you're only talking to him when he wants something. But I really recommend you see God as your whole husband, as your husband, and you see God as the source of I know I can rely on God to align me with opportunities, to
get the clients, to start the business, to make ends meet. I know I can rely on God to put me in the right place at the right time, with the right people. And maybe you haven't been able to rely on God thus far, and you've been treating God like your side chick. That's okay, that's okay, because we're going to shift our relationship to this infinite source of knowledge and power. Today. We're shifting our perception of
God, and we're shifting how we're interacting with God. There was a question about how to have faith, how to let go and just really let go of control. How do you get to know God? Just become curious, Just become curious about this all loving energy. I don't see God as this man in the sky. I see God as this all loving energy, something I can't even fathom in my human brain. I can't draw what God looks like. I've no idea. I really cannot even functionally begin to understand what
power God is. And I'm not meant to, because I'm a mere, humble human. But how did I get to know God? I surrendered. If you don't know how to make contact with God, I'm going to tell you how I did it. When I was feeling so lost, I was in college at the time, I was forty plus pounds from where I am
now. I just felt so lost, so depressed, so anxious, and my mom dragged me to this chapel and I was crying, and I said, God, if you're out there, if you can freaking hear me, just remove whatever needs to be removed from my life so I can find my purpose. I was about to graduate college and I had no idea what I wanted to do. I didn't know what direction I wanted to go into.
I felt really alone, and within a couple of days, within a couple of days, my whole entire life changed because, and you'll read about this and show up as her, I found out that my then partner was talking to another girl. We were on a break, a gray period, whatever you want to call it. I always equate it to that Rachel and Ross
thing. We're on a break, No, we're not. And this really broke me and I started freaking out, crying, screaming, And if you want to know about that whole entire story, I'm not going to go into it now, but you can read it and show up as her because it's what started my spiritual awakening. But in that moment, I was crying, screaming, and then I started to just laugh, and I remember Erasmo being like, are what's going on? Like are you sane? Like what just
happened? I started laughing and I said, Oh my God, this is divine intervention. God is real. I just started saying, God is real. God is real. I asked God to remove what needed to be removed from my life so I can find my purpose. I did not mention please make it not painful. Didn't mention that. So next time you know, or if you're about to go through this, say in the least painful way possible. But I needed to go through that pain anyway to get to where
I am. But within a couple of days, my whole entire life change. I went through spiritual awakening, started to go to therapy, started reading books, started dating myself, found myself, how my purpose started. A TikTok started, a podcast, led to a book deal, so many things, shifted, so many things, but none of that really would have started rolling if I didn't go and just start talking to God and say, start shifting my life. I didn't have this like intense belief in God or disbelief.
I didn't really know, and I just became curious. You don't have to be this on fire believer. Just become curious and ask God to show himself to you, and he will. That's all. Ask for a sign, ask him to shift something, ask him to show himself to you, and he will. My initial connection with God, I, as most of us do, kind of fell out of connection and then would fall back again, and then fall out and then fall in. And I sort of mimicked
this seesaw effect with connecting to God. And I always relate this to the TV that's in my room. I have a TV in my room, but I don't always turn it on. Just because I don't tune into my TV doesn't mean it ceases to exist in my room. It just means I'm not tuning into it. But it's always there. God is the same, operates in the same way whether or not we're tuning into God. God's presence omnipresent, always there. God cannot be without us because He is within us.
God is the ocean and we are the wave. Just because I feel like God isn't there doesn't mean he's not there. It most likely means I'm not tuning in. I'm not understanding the signs, listening to my internal cues and my intuition. I created the same sort of dynamic that I had with the other physical people in my life with God, which was this anxious attachment relationship
where I would either be totally plugged in or totally plugged out unplugged. This stems from a wound within me, and maybe you can relate to what I'm about to say. I'm not sad about what I'm about to say. It just happens to be my truth, my reality, and it shaped me as a person. Every single person I've ever loved deeply, and I swear to God this is true, every single person I've ever loved truly, deeply, deeply, deeply, deeply has horrendously, deeply hurt me, every single one.
This changed my brain chemistry, changed the way I seen the world. It changed my nervous system, It altered my attachment system. I for so long, had been so afraid to connect to anything for a sustained period of time because if I connected to this thing and I loved this thing or energy or person, well, that also meant I was gonna get deeply hurt by them, because that's what I've learned in my past. Eventually, if something happens enough, you start to associate. If I get close to someone,
they're also going to leave me and or deeply hurt me. Because that's what kept happening. And I saw this relationship starting to bleed into every area of my life. Even money. I would hit my desired number and then I would be so afraid that the next month money will abandon me and I won't make ends meet, or I won't hit the goal that I had intended to
hit. Even with food, I would starve myself, end up binging and then thinking to myself, oh my god, uh, here I am once again having this feeling of I'm so afraid I'm not gonna be able to even eat later that I'm just gonna stuff my face now. It's fearing that food is gonna abandon me. It was just everywhere in my life. So I had to really look deeper and I realized I had a core belief and I just saw three three three. I had a core belief that there just isn't
enough to go around. And I had to change this core belief into a positive bitch belief, which is, if I don't think there's enough room at the table, I'll go down metaphorically into the forest and I'll chop down my own tree and make my own damn table. Okay, I will build the chairs, I will build the table, and then if I need more chairs and a longer table, I will go out into the forical forest and I
will chop down another tree and I will make it your table. I had to realize that this on again, off again connection that I've experienced with the people in my life did not have to be the type of connection I was going to have with God. That did not have to be my truth anymore. If people have hurt us in the past, why would we let the people who hurt us dictate how we're going to connect to God, how we're
going to connect to people in the future. There was one question that I wanted to answer, and this question goes, how to keep trusting your vision when nothing happens? How to keep trusting God when you don't see what it is you want in your physical three D reality. There are things that are
unfolding that are not in your line of vision. If you've ever seen in a movie or in the captain's room on a ship, every single boat has a boat radar, and they have a radar because the captain can't always see every single direction and every single angle around the boat, so the radar is constantly circling the boat to see is there a rock, is there another ship? Is there something in the water that maybe the captain might miss, but
the radar will pick up. Understand that just because something isn't on your radar does not mean it's not on the universe's radar. It's not on God's radar. Okay, it might not be in your line of vision, but if you ask for it, if you told God, this is what I want and it's for your highest good, it's on God's radar. Or something better is on God's radar and it is unfolding for you. Even think about your lineage. Your great great grandparents had to get together, then your grandparents had
to get together, then your parents had to get together. Also, you could be here. You didn't have to do the math. You didn't have to do all these things in order to get here. No, because why, things have been unfolding for you before you've even been born, before you've even been born. And it's the same thing while we're living on this planet.
You didn't have to instruct your great great grandparents and the grandparents that happened to be before them, and the grandparents that happened to be before them. No, you haven't been instructing every single one of your ancestors in order for you to happen. Things are unfolding forward you, even if they're not in your exact line of vision. Okay, And if you want to learn more about manifesting, specifically miracles, you can get The Miracle Magnetism, a workbook
that I have in the link. It will be in the show notes. Okay. Now, I had to start shifting my beliefs to really ease my nervous system and allow myself to let God into my life. Fully. I was so afraid I've been so disappointed by all these other people. Why wouldn't God disappoint me too? I thought, of course he would. Of course he would leave my life when I need him the most. Of course he's
not going to be there when really I just wasn't plugging into him. Okay, I had another core belief that if people hurt me in my past, I won't allow myself to connect with anyone moving forward as this sort of way to protect myself and survive. But my new positive bitch belief is I'm not going to let the people of my past control my connections moving forward. You connecting with people, you, having love, you, having a relationship with
God is worth it. And all the people that have hurt you in your past, there's lessons in there for you to learn about yourself, this electromagnetic field and your life. We're not going to let our experiences of our past dictate how we're going to live now. If those experiences have hurt us, We're not going to let the experiences of our past that have hurt us cage us. So another question was what do we do if we feel like what God is putting us through is pointless? Ask not why is this happen?
Why me? Ask what what can I learn from this? What step can I take to become wiser, smarter? What can I do to raise my perspective? From that of a human to a higher perspective. How can I see this situation through God's eyes? What may God want to teach me in this season? What have I been asking to manifest, declaring and decreeing to manifest? And how may this be teaching me exactly what I need to know? You can ask what, you can ask how may this be teaching me?
But try not to ask why because as human beings, I don't know that we always need to know why something is happening, but we do need to understand the lesson from that experience. We don't need to know the why, but we need to feel the experience. Another question is I don't know how to build a stronger relationship with God and how to rely on him and connect with him. Now, this is why I love to see God as my whole husband. Okay, what brings me comfort when it comes to abundance
and God is whose bank is bigger than God's? Like your parents' bank is nowhere near God's. Your company's bank is nowhere near God's. Your bank is nowhere near Gods. If we have to rely on something for abundance, wouldn't we want it to be on the energy that has all the abundance in the world, wouldn't we want it to be on the energy that holds all of the energy of abundance in the world. To me, I don't want to rely on a person, or a company or anyone else ouse side of God
for my abundance, because the biggest bank is God's bank. Anytime I want to call on abundance, I think, well, who has the biggest bank? Who can I rely on? Who can I take that divine inheritance or loan from? Gonna be God? It's gonna be God. Abraham Hicks always says that the universe is completely neutral, and I agree with this ninety eight
percent. The universe responds not to what we want, but to the emotions that we're broadcasting, and it brings us more emotional outcomes that match that frequency. I believe this ninety eight percent because while the universe, the electromagnetic field that God created, will broadcast back to us what we're feeling. I believe that, just like a GPS will always try to reroute you back on the right route, the universe does the same thing. Because there's a little little
tinge of goodness in the universe. I personally think that the same way when you're driving on the road and you make the wrong left turn, the GPS is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, here's another way to get back on track. I think the universe does the same thing for us because we have angels, we have guides, we have guardian angels, we have God. You really think all these beings are just going to let you flounder into space. Of course, you have free will and you can do what you
want. You don't have to invite in guidance, you don't have to ask for help. But you really think all these beings are going to just let you flounder for the rest of your life when you're asking for help. Absolutely not. That makes no sense. That makes no sense. Like a GPS always tries to reroute you back to a path that will get you to where you want to go. I believe there are always little invitations from the universe to get us back on track, to get us where we want to go.
Now, how do we start to rely on God? How do we create this connection with God? When you think about inheritance, how do you inherit something? You have to know that person in order to inherit something from them. You're not going to get inheritance from a random person on the street. You get inheritance from your grandfather, your grandmother, a familial case.
If you really want to attract and allow in really your divine inheritance, you got to get to know God. You got to have this divine relationship with God. So how do we get to know God? Great question? Spend time with him. God wants one thing with us. One thing. It's a relationship, that's it. We want a car, the house, the fulfillment, the body, the relationship. God just wants a relationship, that's it. How can you build a relationship with God? It's not a one
size fits all thing. Sometimes I talk to God when I'm driving. Sometimes I'm screaming, crying at God because I don't like what's going on in my reality and I want to surrender again. Just talk. I talk to God like I would talk to my friend. That's what I do. That's what I do. One time I was driving and I was telling God, I don't feel you right now. I know you're there, so chill out, but I don't feel you. And you know what spiritual download I got?
He was like, CECI open the damn Bible then, because there's a whole lot of words in the Bible that have come divinely inspired from me. Go open it if you want to hear me talk. And I was like, okay, damn okay. So it's like that then, And so I did. I literally opened the Bible to any random page and I just start reading. I allow the Bible to show me what it is I need to know. Now, you don't have to do that with a Bible. If it's
part of your religion, go off. But maybe you read the Koran or the Torah or any other spiritual text, maybe it's a book on angels. Allow yourself to read through spiritual texts because that will allow you to understand more too. Someone asked me, do you create a sacred space for speaking to
God? And I do have an alter in my room. And if you want to get an alter tour and learn how to build your own alter, you can subscribe to my Instagram community because I bring you through my whole entire altar, how to do it, what to put on it, and you can do that at Vibe and CECI. But a lot of the time I am not standing at my altar. I only do that in the morning or if I'm having like a bad day, but I talk to God throughout my whole entire day. The number one thing I think is so important is as
soon as I wake up, I thank God. Thank you for giving me another day. Thank you for allowing me to do what it is that I'm so passionate about. Thank You for allowing me to breathe. Thank God. As soon as you wake up for your life, thank you, thank you, thank you. It's so easy to do. You just have to start doing it. You just have to decide to start doing it, and it
will become habit. But I don't believe you have to look a certain way, dress a certain way, or have a certain situation going on a circumstance to talk to God. God is always listening. Talk to God. When you want to talk to God. It can be in your car, can be in nature, it can be even when I'm running or walking. Sometimes I will randomly get spiritual downloads and then I'll just start talking to God because I'm connecting for whatever reason. Sometimes when we do like mindless tasks, it
actually allows ourselves to open up and get divine inspiration. I was recently watching that new Moses movie on Netflix, and I kept laughing because every single time Moses would talk to God and God would show up like an aura of some sort and it kind of looked like the sun. And every time God would show up, he would be like, hey Moses. Okay, I'm really paraphrasing here, but he'd be like, hey Moses, like go walk with the Pharaoh, or go up this mountain, or go do that, go
do that, go do this. And Moses was always like, but why God, Or I don't think I am capable of doing that, or I'm kind of scared that I will be killed. And God was just like, do it and then we'll just leave. And is this not our intuition? Like, is this not how God literally speaks to us. God really doesn't give us a thousand reasons why we should do something. He's just like, go do it, do it by go do it by poofs out of existence.
That's something we really have to start listening to if we want to get closer to God. God will speak to you through your higher self, through your intuition. The more you listen to your intuition, the louder and louder and louder your intuition will get But so many of us are so seduced by our three D that we're only using our mind. We forgot about our intuition. We're not plugging into I have this gut feeling we're just like, ah,
we're vomiting our way through life. Your intuition won't give you a thousand reasons why you should do something. It will just say go do this trail, sign up for this class, move to this city. If you're getting little intern cues like that, start listening to them. And I know it can be maddening when we are like, well, I'm afraid I don't think I'm capable. Apparently that's what Moses felt too. But you know what, God knows more about you than you even know about yourself, because God can
see your highest potential before you even understand what it can possibly be. Start trusting your intuition rather than your little rat brain who's just so doused in fear and the ego. If you're having trouble having faith right now, plug in deeper. I'm telling you, plug in deeper. Stop treating God like your side chick. And I'm guilty of it too. But if we want to unlock divine inheritance. How do you inherit something? You have to know the
person you're inheriting from. I have a belief in my own head that when you get to know God, he's gonna want everyone in your life to know that he deeply knows you too, and he's gonna want to show up for you. I think God wants to show up for all of us. I think God wants to be there for all of us. I think God loves us. I don't care what your religion is. I don't care what your belief is. There's an all loving, infinite energy that got us all onto
this planet. He knows you, He loves you. He wants to give more to you, and I think when we start giving to him, that relationship strengthens. And he wants to show everyone in your life and he wants to show you. Look what I can do when you invite me in. Look what I can do when you invite me in. My mom, when I was growing up, always used to open the door and she would be like, let Jesus in. That was horrifying to me because I was a child and I was like, what, man, did you just let into
my room? And why are you doing that? Please stop? I understand you. This is a little bit more now, so I'm less horrified at that. But it is true. I like the sentiment of that open door to God to show up for you in your life. Invite Him to show up to you or for you in your life. And the more you cultivate a relationship with God, the more you're inviting in divine prosperity and divine inheritance. And when you're talking to God, you're not begging, You're declaring and
decreeing. Thank you God for bringing me all of those clients. You gave me the business idea, and I know you would not give me the business idea without bringing me the clients to Thank you God for raising my salary. Thank you God for delivering me the prosperity, the abundance in relationships, in abundance through my money, through all things, through safety in my own body, in my vessel. Start thanking God for what it is you want to see in your life. And again, I don't care if you use the
word God or something else. I don't care. That's none of my business. This is about you and your connection with the infinite source energy. So that's your business, not mine. I'm here as someone to hopefully inspire you to connect deeper with God. And the reason I'm even saying all this is because I've seen the profound effect it has had on my life and mantra moment. One of my favorite mantras is God shows himself to me through abundance in
my life. Every single day. God shows himself to me through abundance in my life. Every single day. I always tell myself, or I'll say, God, show me, show me your energy, show me your presence in my life through abundance today and every single day I see it, I feel it, and I know it. And remember, faith is a muscle and it's something you have to build up. We all have faith in something. Some of us have faith that we're never going to be great. Some
of us have faith that we're already great. Some of us have faith that will be abundant, and some of us have faith that we won't be abundant. Either way, we have faith. But you might just have faith in the wrong subject. So just try just become curious. What if I started opening myself up to this infinite source of intelligence, love, and energy. What if I just allowed God into my life. What if I just started talking to God, speaking to God, praying to God. Use it as
an experiment. I don't care, and just see what happens. What I want for you to really take away from this episode is God isn't ever gonna give up on you. Your spirit team is never going to give up on you. People might give up on you, they might not understand you, they might abandon you, they might leave your life. Maybe every single person you've ever deeply loved has deeply hurt you. But these energies are not human. There are something so much more than that, and they're not going to
treat you the way you've been treated by others. They're gonna never, ever, ever, ever give up on you, because these energies are never gonna give up on you. Don't you think you owe it to them to not give up on yourself? Don't you think you owe it to them to connect to them, to ask them for guidance, to plug into them. Instead of that situationship with that dude who just sucks, Maybe instead of calling up Tom, we open a spiritual text, We pray, we journal, we
decree, we take a walk. Maybe maybe we talked about this last week. But doing the same things gets you the same results. If you want to feel God, talk to God. Know God, His energy is always there. You're the one who needs to plug in. So take some responsibility over what you're giving your energy to, what you're perceiving, what you're giving your time to, and shift your focus. Use your time to your advantage, and you will shift everything else in your reality. But as always,
it starts with you. So what's step one? Step one is just saying, God, show yourself to me. Show yourself to me. Oh, evidently, so clearly that I have no doubt in my mind that it's you at work in my life. Show me your presence in my life through abundance, so clearly, so evidently that I have no doubt in my mind that it's you in my life. Show me you in my life altering it for the better. So clearly, so evidently that I have no doubt that it's
you in my life. You just speaking out to God. That sends the message. That's the signal. You don't even need to speak it, you can just think it. Our angels they really don't talk through words. They send out thought transmissions. That's what they do. You can just think it. Surrender God. I don't know what I'm doing. I want to get to know you, I want to get to know my spirit team. Someone
Hello, help me. I was screaming, crying in that church, wailing around my arms, trying to get connected to anything, and I didn't even know what was there. You're in the perfect place, at the perfect time, right now to go ask God, show me what you can do in my life. Show me how good it can get, Show me my high it's timeline, Give me the motivation, give me the inspiration. All you have to do is become curious. All you have to do is ask,
and then let your spiritual journey show itself to you. It doesn't have to look like mine. It can be uniquely yours in whatever fashion it wants to unfold in. But understand that God is not like Brad or Tom or Ryan. He's not going to abandon you. He's not gonna ghost you. He's not gonna only be there when he wants something from you, because all he wants from you is a relationship. Where are the ones who asks for God
to be there when we want things from him? But if you can create a relationship where you're thanking God for what you have in your life, where you're just saying, Hey, God, I'm having a great day, where you're just sending white light out to his people. Oh girl, the more you call on God, talk to God, the more you're gonna hear God's response. But he can't respond if you're not initiating the conversation in the first place. That's how you cultivate a relationship. Okay, I hope this podcast
episode. I know it's a little bit different and it was very God heavy, but you know what as it should be. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and inspired you and you know that you're not alone, because you're literally not. If you do have any questions about God or confusion, I don't claim to know it all, but maybe I can help you or point you in the right direction. I love you so much. The sparkle in me honors the sparkle in you. If you want to get show up as
her, the link will be in the show notes. You can pre order now. It wouldn't mean the world to me. Also, if you want to leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, it really helps the podcast grow and if not for me, to do it for you because good karma and I will see you in the next one. Canca lost to cancer. Stets kiss me, kiss me,