And Energy. Cancel so high, Ecstasya sage, Cancelgema, it's not sorry and energy. What's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing this episode, then you are meant to be here. So keep listening on that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, baby Girl, We're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered positive bitch self. That is Babe in true connection with herself. On this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully
step into exactly who we came here to be. Today, we're talking about how to transmute the feeling of loneliness into lie on us energy, because all energy is just energy and can be shifted and transformed in a way that we can use to our advantage. I've had many seasons interacting with the energy of loneliness, and it has taught me so many great lessons that other energies and
people simply can't. If you are going through a season of isolation, you move to a new town and you don't have friends yet, you're going through a breakup and you feel like you are experiencing intense loneliness, this is the episode for you, and I want you to know that just because you're alone, it does not mean that you have to feel lonely. And maybe you're scratching your head and asking yourself, CC, how could that be possible if
I'm alone? Of course I'm going to feel lonely. Well, baby girl, I have news for you, But before we get into it, a couple of announcements. If you're not yet following me on Instagram at VIBEINWITCC, I will put my link in the show notes, be sure to follow me there for daily tips and tricks on how to tap into your most magnetic energy. One way I tap into my most magnetic energy is by using Magic Mind.
In prior seasons of my life, I was drinking way too much caffeine and it caused me to have hormonal acne and crazy high highs and then really low lows. I then tried to take no caffeine, but felt like I had no energy ever, and so I eventually found Magic Mind, which is my little magic in a bottle. It gives me the perfect boost of energy to get that workout done or record that podcast without pushing me out of alignment with my own creative and authentic energy. I feel like the magic of Magic
Mind really comes down to its ingredients. It has. First of all, it sorts from the best suppliers that they could find. There's no sugar, it's not free. It's vegan, keto, paleo and all that jazz. But the amazing thing is when you read the label, you actually understand what's inside of the bottle. So they have mind, which obviously gives you that caffeine, but also mixed in there is ashraganda, which reduces stress in lines,
main mushroom which helps with inflammation. If you want to get some magic in a bottle, try Magic Mind. You can go to www dot magicmind dot com slash TBP and get up to fifty six percent off your subscription in the next ten days with my code TBP twenty. Your code will be valid forever as twenty percent off for both one time purchases and subscriptions, but in the first ten days it's fifty six percent off if applied to a subscription.
Again, that's www Dot Magicmind dot com slash TBP and the code is tb P twenty and I will put that in the show notes for you. If you're going through a breakup. Join the twenty one day Breakuplow challenge to learn how to have an inner and therefore an external glow up. You will learn how to refocus on you and stop obsessing over that X. If you are dating and you want to learn the pedestal principle, how to put yourself on the pedestal so they will to get anyone you want, join the pedestal path
again. That link will be in the bio and alas. If you're looking for a more intimate guidance, I am a certified life and energy coach and I offer one on one coaching. Just DM me on Instagram and I can tell you there how I can help you without further ado. Let's get into today's episode. First things first, there is a difference between feeling lonely and
being alone. I think we all have experienced that feeling of being at a party or being with a group of friends but feeling completely disconnected, so you just feel really lonely. I know for myself, I would be at parties or at a friend's house and there'd be a bunch of people there, but even though there was people physically there, I felt so lonely. And that is when really I realized that it's not about the physical feeling. Lonely isn't
about our connection to others. It's about our connection to self. Because when you put the equations together and you reflect on your life experiences, maybe you're like me and you're like, yeah, I've had experiences where I was around a bunch of people but I felt so lonely. But yet I've had time when I was completely alone in solitude and I felt fulfilled. If that's true, at least for one person, then loneliness isn't about our connection to others,
but our connection to our self. The first thing I want to invite you to do if you're experiencing loneliness is to lean into the energy, because that energy wouldn't be showing up in your life if there wasn't something for you to learn from it. All of the energies we experience, there's medicine in these energies for us to learn about ourselves, to learn about the world and evolve loneliness. When we're feeling it, what's the first thing we want to
do? Run away from it. Run away from it, run away from it. Okay, yeah, it doesn't work. I tried. I would go out every single weekend, I would drink my little tail off. I would try to avoid, avoid, avoid loneliness. And eventually those distractions of the drinking, of the partying, of the going out, they don't work anymore. They don't distract you anymore. And being in denial of our feelings doesn't mean the feelings just boof away. It means the feelings get bogged down
and will pop back up later. We can't outrun loneliness, but we can turn around, we can face it, and we can dance with it, because that loneliness is just an invitation to connect to yourself deeper. What if you leaned into the loneliness. What if you sat in the loneliness and you bathed in the loneliness and you allowed yourself to just feel it instead of running away from it. Loneliness is really interesting, and being alone is really interesting.
And how we see these terms and mingle them with one another is interesting because I just know that there is a mom out there with five children right now listening to this, praying for a lone time, praying for solitude. And then there's someone listening to this who's praying for a partner for connections for more people. We want to honor wherever we're at, because each season is in fact temporary. As deep as we feel loneliness, we're also going to
feel completely fulfilled and connected to self. This is a law of polarity. As far as the pench swings in one direction, it must and it will swing in the opposite direction. So when the seasons are good, we want to celebrate that the season is good, and when we're feeling lonely, we want to celebrate that, Oh good I'm having this season. Now I'm feeling these lower vibrational emotions. Now that means that my next one will be oh
so in the opposite direction. As far as the pendulum swings in one direction, it must also swing in the other. Understand that if you are feeling a deep sense of loneliness right now, it's not forever. It's for now. And if you lean into it, if you let yourself cry, if you let yourself journal, if you let yourself experience the loneliness, it will move through you and it will leave. But it wants your attention because there's something you have to learn from it. I used to see alone time as
something that would equal loneliness. I used to see alone time as something that's really really negative, and I asked myself, Cecy, why were you so afraid of this? Forget codependency, because that definitely played a role, But on top of that, the first time I really experienced loneliness in an intense
way was when I stopped being friends with this group of girls. And I was friends with this group of girls from about well most of them from kindergarten, throughout high school, and then maybe like the first or second year of college. I can't even remember when it ended. But one day all of them, for whatever reason, decided not to be friends with me anymore. And I remember crying to my mom and just breaking down because I was seeing
them on Snapchat going to parties and not inviting me. I was seeing them hang out with each other and not inviting me and shamelessly posting it all over social media so you know I would see it. And I remember feeling such an intense emotion of I feel really betrayed right now because I have no idea what happened. Number one. Number two, I have FOMO because I feel like I'm missing out on all these experiences that I should be having too.
I thought these people were my friends, and I was crying to my mom, just saying I didn't do anything like I would fully admit if I did something. I'm a good person. I've been good to them. I don't know what's happening. And I hated this time, like I really hated it. I hated it because I started to associate being alone with fomo and being betrayed and left out. And I was somehow like this loser because I didn't
have these friends anymore and they were going out and I wasn't. And I made such a negative meaning around lonelyiness that every time I was alone or had alone time, I would be like, oh no, I can't have alone time. I have to go out. I have to go to a bar or a party. I have to make plans. And I was forcing myself to go out when I was a thing exhausted. I was forcing myself to go out when I didn't want to go out. And it was all just
so I could run away from this feeling of loneliness. And all that did was delay my own healing and make me really tired. And maybe I made some mistakes along the way with some men, but we don't need a rehash of that right now. Anyway, I gave being alone a negative meaning, and I want you to check in with yourself. Are you giving the concept of being alone a negative meaning? Because if you are, you're gonna run
from it and you're not gonna want to feel it. If every time you were alone when you were a child it was because your mom was at work and so you felt abandoned, you're never gonna want to feel alone again, and so you're gonna run from it. Also, there's a biological need here for socialization. In tribal times, if we were cast out of our tribe and we had to survive on our own, we had to know which berries were poisonous and which ones weren't. We had to hunt the tiger and also
survive the tiger. We had to build our little hut, We had to make our clothing, We had to survive an unknown weather climates all on our own. We couldn't and we would die. So being rejected from a tribe literally equal death. And that biological need to be social and attached to a tribe is still within us, and it's really really high when we're especially teens and these young adults, we really want that socialization. As we age, we get more comfortable with being alone, I will say, and you get
more comfortable just being yourself. And so there's this biological piece that wants to be social. And then there's possibly the meaning we're creating about being alone. Maybe we think it just equals little holiness. Maybe we think it equals betrayal and death and all of the sadness. But I have come to reframe alone time as selective solitude. Alone time is not something that I'm doing because I have no other choice. I'm not choosing to be alone because I'm cast out
of this friend group and I have no one else. I'm not choosing to be alone because I have no other choice because I'm a loser. I'm not being alone because I was rejected. No, I'm choosing to be alone because I simply like being with myself. And maybe you don't like being with yourself just yet, so you're thinking, well, selective solitude doesn't really sound that
great to me. Because I don't want to hang out with myself, then you don't know yourself, and that's even more of a reason that you need to date yourself and hang out with you and get to know who you are. Because there was a time in my life where I didn't want to hang out with myself because I thought I was boring. And then I started dating
myself. I started reading, I started learning, I started listening to new information podcasts, I started playing more pianos, singing, creating tiktoks, creating a podcast, and I was like, Wow, my energy is actually so cool. And I would have never known that about myself if I didn't spend time with me. How do you get to know anyone? You have to hang out them. So if you're not hanging out with yourself, don't you dare say you hate yourself or you don't like yourself because you don't even know
yourself yet. Reframe your alone time not as something negative, not because you have no friends, not because you're some loser, not because you're being rejected, but because you're choosing this. And this is what I'm calling selective solitude. When we think about selective solitude, there's a couple of things I want to bring up to you. If you want to get good at anything, you have to practice it. If you want to get good at piano,
you have to practice piano. You want to get good at knowing yourself and being yourself, you have to spend time strengthening your connection to yourself. You have to quite literally practice being you or this new version of you. Yeah, there is definitely, I would say, external pressures for us to go out beyond the scene, get engaged, being married, be in a relationship. Oh my god, it's so tiring, it really is. And I am also seeing that pressure. I've been in a relationship for some time,
and I have people in my life saying when are you getting engaged? When are you getting married? It's time and time and time, and giving me their fleeting I just hit my face on my microphone. But that's how it feels, honestly, like they're hitting me with their energy. They're fleeting empty comments that I simply don't care about, and yeah, that's the only way I can say it. And they've been asking me just relentlessly, when are you're getting engaged? Like isn't it time? And I'm like, why are
you so worried about what I'm doing with my time and my energy? I'm pretty sure you have problems that you probably need to find solutions for. Go do that, okay? Anyway, So I had to come to a realization in myself that what my life is going to look like is going to be very different than anybody or you know what, most people my age, it's going to look different. I have always since I was little, and I'm telling you this because maybe you can relate to it. I have always since
I was little. I didn't dream about getting married. I didn't dream about having this big wedding. I quite honestly thought it was stressful even as a child, like that seems like a lot. I wanted to be hand Montana. That's what I wanted. I wanted to be this star, this singer.
I wanted to have an effect on the world. I didn't really know what that meant, but I wanted to help people heal and I thought that was going to be through music, and maybe it still will be, But turns out it was using my voice, through podcasting, through content creation, through writing. By the way, show up as her my book. You can preorder it now. The link is in the bio. Guys. I have been birthing this book for literally like so long, maybe like two years,
I think, I don't even know. But I put my heart, my soul, my sparkle, and my tears into this book. I put everything. It is, our positive Bitch Bible, and I'm so excited for you to have it. It comes out April thirtieth, but you can preorder it now. Okay, sorry, I'm back. I'm back. Anyway. I wanted to be in Montana not dreaming about getting married. I want to get married. I'm interested in it, Like, yeah, I want to do that, but it's not something I feel like I need to rush in.
And also, I've been with my partner for so long. He's not going anywhere, like I know, we're fine, Like I'm not in some sort of rush. And there are people who are in a rush and that is their big north star and that's beautiful too. I just don't think we need to compare our life journeys. And so anyway, the reason I'm telling you this is because right now I'm realizing that I need a lot of alone
time for me to focus on me, on my craft. I know that once I get married and I have kids, I'm gonna have a lot of other responsibilities that are gonna take up a lot of my time. That's just the truth. And right now I have so much I want to birth into existence. I have so much of myself I still want to develop, and that requires space. It requires me to be with me. It requires me
to spend time with God and my jewels and my highest self. It requires not going out and drinking, not going out and being social all the time. It really requires solitude. And I've been fighting, you know, a lot with my strength to get through life. That's why I was in my masculine energy for so much of my life, and that's almost my default in a lot of ways. When I feel unprotected, it's like masculine shield.
Put it up. I spent so much of my life fighting with my strength, fighting for people to change, fighting to get invited, fighting to feel included. I am at the point that I am just so tired of fighting. And I remember one time I was talking to God and I said, I'm so tired of fighting, like I don't want to fight anymore. And God just said, well, then stop. You're the one with your free
will choosing to fight. If you don't want to fight, stop Instead of fighting with our strength, we need to lead with our spirit, and we need to honor where we're at. I swear to you, God has been canceling all of my plans. Every time I make a plan to go to a social event or whatever it is, it's canceled one hundred percent of the time. And I'm like, what is going on? What is going on? I get it now, Okay, I need more time with CC.
I need more time with myself. I need more time to develop me and develop my my aren't my craft the words I want to give to the world. I need more time to strengthen my relationship with God. I just need more of it. I need more space with it. And if you're like me, and by the way, you know I'm not Beyonce, there's a reason that five hundred million people aren't listening to this podcast right now. There's a reason you are, though, it's because you are too like me.
We're resonant with one another, We're in a similar vibration. And if you're like me, it means you're just a little bit different. And I feel like I'm about to choke up. You're a little bit different. And I have to say, I spent so much of my time trying to mold myself to not be who I am. I've spent so much of my time. Here comes the nasal here comes the naislinists. I spent so much of my
time trying to like what people my age liked. I spent so much time trying to be socially included in things that I honestly just don't care about. I've done this since I was in elementary school, I mean, first grade. We're talking and I'm just I'm done. I've been done for years, but even more so now, and in different ways. I mean, I remember I would join all the sports teams to be with my friends. I hate sports. I hate sports where it's I would do whatever they wanted to
do because I just wanted to be there. I just wanted to be included. And now I'm thinking I don't care anymore. I'm just owning it. I'm different. If you're listening to this, you're different, like welcome to the club. You are different, Okay, you are You're special okay, and everyone's special. You're special in a different way, though, you are. And I think that if we can own the season that we're in or the person that we are and say yeah, I don't like going out as
a sporting events where there's thousands of people there. I don't like feeling all that energy all the time. I don't like going out every weekend and drinking. I don't like doing these things. I rather make celery juice. I rather do a really cool sound bath. I rather go to yoga. I rather spend time with God than gossiping. Own that, because when you own that, and you strengthen your connection with yourself, that loneliness goes away. And even if it's there, so spend time with it. It's okay.
It's not going to kill you. I used to think that the loneliness would literally kill me. It won't kill you. It will, however, make you stronger. And if you were like me and you have those big dreams, and again, maybe you didn't see Hannah Montana, but you saw something else and you're like, that's what I want, or you always had a feeling that you were meant for something big. Chase that align with that, lean into that. Don't give up on that because everyone else your age is
doing something different. Don't give up on it, because that is betrayal to your inner child. And it's interesting because I felt so betrayed by all of my friends for just flat leaving me, But really I was betraying myself for so long because I was trying to fit in in ways that aren't authentic to me. And if we're betraying ourself, we're gonna feel that betrayal in our external reality too. It's so important that we acknowledge who we truly are and
own it. However you show up, whatever you and body, I don't care if you're out here looking all kinds of crazy. Own it. And you know what, my partner this morning sent me a really good text, and he said, rational people do okay things, and irrational people do great things. People who have irrational belief in what they're doing are those that change the world. So if you have big dreams, if you have this intention on your heart that you want to birth something into the world, follow it.
Don't get distracted by what everyone else is doing. Lean into your alone time, don't get distracted by the external world. Don't get distracted by your friends or the people you want to be friends with. Don't let that seduce you. Go after what it is you know you've wanted for your whole entire life. And I'm telling you, I'm telling you there's a reason that not ten million people are listening to this because not ten million people are really meant
to change the world in that way. But if you're listening to this, you are. So what are we learning from loneliness? We're learning that being alone doesn't equal loneliness. And if we fear being alone, that's actually an invitation to lean into it. We know that loneliness can't kill us. It's not, you know, a murderer. It's a energy, it's a feeling, and if we lean into it now, it will leave us alone later. What can you do in your alone time to get to know yourself,
to lean into your own personal reality. Things that I did was I experimented with new ways of being. So I thought I hated reading, but it turned out I just hated the types of books I was reading. So I started reading self help and loone so and behold, turns out I loved reading self help books. So I started to read self help. And you don't have to read self help. You can read any kind of book. Read Harry Potter for all I care. But start giving your attention to something outside
of just scrolling on your phone. Because when we're scrolling on our phone and we see all these lines of social media and it's two one two on my clock right now. When we see these lines on social media, it can make us feel like we're missing out. You're not missing out. Most of the people who are on social media pretending to have a perfect life are miserable. So don't care about them. Care about you, and refocus on yourself.
Read books. Learn something new, whether it's a language, or maybe you're reading self help books, or you're learning something new in that way, you can order pre order show up as her link in bio. Maybe you are just experimenting with meditation, you're experimenting with a new work plan. I invite you to find a strain that serves you. Maybe that's working out.
Finding a strain that serves you means you pick something that's kind of difficult to do, but you do it anyway to show yourself how powerful you are. So for me, running is something that not enjoyable, but I would do it anyway to show myself how powerful I am. So maybe it's working out three days a week or reading that book or learning a new language, And you're gonna tell yourself, I'm going to pick a strain and I'm gonna do it anyway, and I'm going to show myself how amazing and cool I am.
Maybe you want to date yourself and just take yourself out to a new restaurant or to the beach, take a walk on the beach. Go earthing. That's when you take your bare feet and you walk on planet Earth. Go sunngazing where you stare at the sunset or the sunrise and you just connect to the sun's energy. Spend time with yourself. And what we're calling this
is selective solitude. We're choosing to be with ourself. And by the way, if you are feeling really lonely, date the divine because there are spiritual beings that are with you twenty four to seven loving ancestors, God, your higher Self, your angels that are there with you all the time. If you feel like you don't have support in the three D, if you feel like you don't have friends and family supporting you, call on your spirit team.
Say spirit guides of highest love, truth and connection, connect to me now, let me feel your presence in my life. Give me a sign. And just you wanting to connect with your spirit team is a sign that they're wanting to connect with you too. And by the way, they're always wanting to connect with you. But you have free will, so you have to be the one to connect with them. So date the divine date yourself hang out with you. You are going to learn so much about yourself that
being with other people could have never talked. You're gonna learn so much about yourself that forcing yourself to go out drink at the bar could have never taught you. And I'm not saying to never be social. I'm just saying, if you're in a season that's more isolated, honor it. I'm saying also add in time that if you're social, you also have time just with you, because remember, there may be a season one day when you do get married and you do have kids, that you're gonna be like, damn,
I wish I had some of that alone time right now, loneliness. What even is that? I could not fathom it. I always think about that show Alone, where these experts go into the wilderness all alone, then they have to survive. And when these people are dropped off in the middle of nowhere and they're all alone, they are so happy. They're like, finally, I love this for myself. I can't wait to be all alone and put myself to the test. You can see this period or this season of
your life simply as an experiment. What am I gonna do with myself? What am I going to expand within myself? And I was talking with my shaman the other day, and she was talking to me about how these great leaders that we know and love, these great speakers, these really successful people, they all got where they are by spending some time alone with themselves. They all practiced solitude. And if we're trying to run from that solitude again,
we're just distracting ourselves and delaying our own progress. We are human, so that means that we get good at what we practice. If we practice being alone, it's not gonna be as scary. If we practice being with ourselves, we're gonna get good at being by ourselves. If we practice being
with ourselves, we're gonna get good at being a human being ourself. Especially if you're wanting to quantum leap into a new identity, you have to practice being that new identity, for it's a fully man of fest into this three D and to have that quantum leap. So this alone time is a gift. It's a gift for you to get to know who you incarnated as. It's a gift for you to expand and strengthen your gifts that you already have
within yourself. I recently made a TikTok and I was just talking about since I mentioned gifts, how we are told that our gifts are given to us simply for other people. And while I think that our gifts have a side effect of helping other people, I think our gifts are given to us for ourselves to use when we need them. Think about when you use your gift
the most, maybe it's writing or singing or dancing. We use our gifts the most when we're suffering, because we're transmuting that lower vibrational energy into art into creation, and we're transmuting the sadness into power. We are giving gifts, I really believe, as a vehicle to help us transmute our pain, as a vehicle to help us transmute our suffering. Our gifts can only be
strengthened if we give them enough time and energy. So if you're choosing you're having selective solitude like I am in this season, maybe this is for you to strengthen your gifts and use your gifts so you can heal yourself. It's not always about other people put yourself back on that pedestal. Selective solitude doesn't mean that you can't be in a relationship. I'm in a relationship. It doesn't mean you have to excommunicate everyone in your family. I'm not doing that.
It means that we're intentionally creating more time and space to be with just our self and our spirit team. To remember that our ascension is not upward, but in word, to remember that the light is within here, not out there, that our good vibrational emotions come from within, they cannot just be sparked from out there. This time is a gift, and if you're going through it, guess what so am I? This is similar to like another Dark Knight soul for me, I experiencing intense need of alone time and
self solitude and really getting to know me again and expanding. I love you so much. If this episode gave you any sort of comfort, I'm happy it did and the sparkling me honest sparkling you. If it helped you, please leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. It really helps this podcast grow. If you could share it with a friend or family member, you never know who could maybe need to hear these words, and if not for me, do it for you because good karma and I will see you
in the next one. Cancel, don't cancels, Mets be, kiss me, kiss me,