Andlogy such Cancel, So High, Ecstasy, Sage, cancerge hoa, not Sorry, andlogy what's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing this episode, you were meant to be here, So keep listening on that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, Baby Girl, we're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered positive bitch self. That is Babe in true connection with herself. On this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step
into exactly who we came here to be. Today we are talking about, oh, you know, a mid life crisis, a quarter life crisis, anytime your life crisis where you realize, oh, I don't know who I am. I am in this really weird stage in my life where I'm not who I used to be, but I'm also not yet who I wish to become. I am dangling in the middle of the unknown. And I know we all fear the unknown, but there is nothing nothing to fear about the
unknown. And that's what we're going to talk about today, how to find yourself again while you're doing the tango in the unknown. I'm going to give you five exact steps that I've used to get out of the unknown and back on my pedestal. I'm going to walk you through the mindset shifts, the energetic shifts, the behavioral shifts you need to make so you can find yourself again or maybe find a new version of yourself that you did not even know
existed. Could you imagine that there are so many different parts of you and all of them deserve to be discovered, seen and realized. So if you're going through an ego death right now, AKA you're feeling like you don't know who you are, you're losing the identity of who you've been, you have come to the perfect episode for you. Now. Before I give you all
my dazzling secrets, a couple of announcements. If you're not yet following me on Instagram at vibin Witcci, be sure to follow me there and at that Bitch is Positive. All the links will be in the show notes below. I am going to announce it here first, but all of my packages, all of my coaching will be going on sale the first day of Thanksgiving week all the way through Black Friday. Okay, I don't have any sales throughout the year. And for Black Friday, ninety percent of all the offerings I
have go on sale. So if you've been wanting to do coaching, if you've been wanting to do the work, if you've been wanting to work with me, you can dm me now to find out more information about the pricing for one on one coaching and all the different packages. I have a plethora of different coaching options for you and offerings anything from self concept tune up where we shift your identity to divine feminine healing, and activation attachment system healing.
That's a lot of nervous system work. If you have anxiety and relationships, if you're wanting to level up but don't know how, if you want to have that glow up of your life, dm me now for more information. And my twelve week program, my Magnetic Mastery program will also be on sale. So this is the only time of the year that these programs go on sale. If you want to work with me, if you want to work on yourself, find out more. Okay, without further ado, let's get
into today's podcast episode because we have so much to talk about. I do think it's worth mentioning a little disclaimer. You are going to shift through so many different identities while you're on planet Earth. You're not meant to be a solid rock, one identity forever. We are energy and energy. Its natural state is movement. You're going to move in and out of identities, in and out of feelings and emotions, in and out of thoughts and ideas.
You're going to shift over time. Your opinions are going to change. Your values are going to change, your thought processes. Your organization even is going to change. How you live is going to change. Your likes and your dislikes are going to change. That's oh okay. We're allowed to wake up today and decide to be someone new. You were allowed to wake up tomorrow
and decide, actually, I want to be someone even different. I think we're so caught up in cancel culture sometimes that we think, Okay, I have to be this, and I can't change my mind and I can't speak about what I want to speak about because I'll be canceled. No, the only person who can cancel you is you. You are going to move through so many different identities naturally, It's what we do as humans. You didn't
come here to be one stagnant thing and never change your mind. You came here to live, to learn, develop and grow, and it's a natural byproduct of growing and evolving is that you're going to change. If you never changed your mind about anything, that would be concerning, because that means you're
not learning and you're not sculpting yourself in accordance to what you're learning. If you have been told that you have to be the nice girl, or you have to be the class clown, or whatever it may be, I want you to take a second rine here, to take a deep breath in through your nose and ex heal through your mouth, and just say, I give my self permission to be whoever it is I want to be. I give my self permission to show up as I truly am. I give myself permission
to change as I wish. This is my life. I will create the rules that I want to create for my life. I can choose my identity, and so I will. You have the power to cultivate the person you want to be. You have in endless amounts of different traits within yourself that you can turn on and you can turn off. We are born thinking, oh I'm either this way or that way. Sure, we have a certain
nature about ourselves. But we have a spectrum of different talents and traits and aspects of ourselves that we can turn on and turn off as we go through life. Most of us make these key decisions when we're one, two, three, four, five, sixty seven about who we have to be in order to get love and affection from our parents. And then we think, well, this is just the identity I am wrong, wrong, false,
fake news. That's who you thought you had to be. That's who you decided to be because you thought you had to do that in order to get love. That's not who you actually are. It's a role you decided at age seven, and you've never stepped out of that role, and now you've manifested a life based on that role. But that's not who you actually are. That's the role you decided you had to be in order to get love. And there's a difference. There's a difference. So if you're feeling lost,
yeah, there's a reason for that. It's because maybe you've never actually been found. Your role is just so outdated that you can't stand it anymore. The role you created is so uncomfortable because it's so far from who you tan. We are that your inner being is flipping out. A lot of us aren't necessarily having an identity crisis because we're losing who we truly are.
It's because we're trying to find who we truly are, because we've not found it thus yet, and the role we thought we had to be it's not gonna work forever. When are we most likely to go through an ego death a death of who we think we are? Anytime we go through a transition, really, we get fired from a job, we have to make ends meet in a new way, we go off to college, we graduate eighth grade, we go to a new school. Any time we change our environment
or we're embarking on this new season of our life. A lot of us go through this ego death because all of those external triggers that reminded us of who we are at our freshman teachers, hallways, friends, those things are no longer there. So if all of the triggers that remind us who we are are no longer there, we begin to do this really human thing where we start to question. We start to question who am I without those external
triggers? Who am I without those friends or that school, or that career or that hobby or that sport. Who am I without that thing? A lot of athletes, if any of them get injured or they just don't get renewed with their contract, they go through this ego death because they've been known this whole entire time for being this athlete. Now that they don't have that
attached to their name, they don't know who they are anymore. So think about your own life and maybe you're going through an ego death right now, or maybe you're just wanting to have a glow up of your identity. You're wanting to shift your self concept. Either way, when we're w wanting to either land on an identity or create a new one, we have to let ego death happen. We have to let the old version of ourselves rest in peace, because that new version, that new life that we want, it's
gonna cost us our old one. If we want a new life, we have to transition how we're thinking, how we're feeling, how we're being, how we're behaving, our hobbies, our actions, our intentions, everything. So, if you're going through an ego death right now, what are five steps you can take to find yourself again? Maybe find an even better version of you, or if you're wanting to shift who you are, how can you do that? Step one, you need to let yourself be lost.
I know it feels itchy. It feels like you are in this itchy, sticky sweater and you just want to rip this sweater off, and it's driving you crazy because it is so uncomfortable not to know. You know who wants to know? It's your ego. The reason it's hard to find ourselves again is because our ego craves familiarity. So it's gonna keep trying to go back to the same friend group who is so mean to us, to the same
school, to the same activities, to the same bad behaviors. Our egos always gonna try to go back to what it knows because that's where it feels safe. Let's say you have a relationship and you break up and now you're having this ego death. What is your ego gonna tell you. It's gonna
tell you to end this pain, just get back with that person. That person might be abusive, they might be terrible for you, but your ego thinks it rather be in a dangerous situation that it can predict than a healthy, safe situation that it cannot predict because your ego is obsessed with human survival. So a lot of the time we're trying to figure out things so fast. We're trying to figure out who am I, what should I do? That's your ego trying to rush you when your spirit needs to slow down.
There's a reason you don't have all the dots connected just yet. Your spirits, the energies, are still downloading. Everything manifests and downloads spiritually and energetically first before it can physically manifest. Before we have that billion dollar business, we have the billion dollar business idea, before we manifest a new invention.
We're thinking of the new invention before something is physically on planet Earth. It's first in energy, then it becomes an idea, then it becomes a physical thing. In this world. We are going to feel like there is pressure on us. We're gonna feel like there's a timer on us. Let it go, because what you need right now isn't to figure out all the answers. You need time. If no one has told you, let me tell you. It's okay to feel lost. It's okay to feel like you don't
know who you are. It's okay to be in the inn between. It's okay to not have all of the answers. Your body needs to spiritually energetically become grounded before you download everything and have it come physically in your reality. When I was feeling especially lost going through my own quarter life crisis, I sat down and I did what I always do when I'm feeling lost. I called on my spirit guides and I said, guys, what's what's the tea?
What's going on? And this is what they told me about being lost, this is what I channeled. I tell you to not even just hear me, but really listen to what I'm saying. Close your eyes if you can. You're not lost. You're just ready for the next big thing. And there's a difference. You're not lost. Your soul is just evolving. You're not lost. Your vibration is changing and wanting differently. You're not lost. You're growing. You're not lost. You're discovering new parts of yourself.
You're not lost. You're realizing the old is no longer in vibrational alignment with you. You're not lost, but being found. Right now, your energy is changing in ways you probably don't even know about. The universe is rearranging your world in ways you don't even know about. If you've ever seen in a captain's room a boat's radar, a boat's radar will scan fifty feet one hundred feet two hundred feet around the boat to make sure that the boat's not
going to hit into anything. The universe works the same way. The universe has a radar, and even if something isn't on our radar, even if we can't see something directly in our point of view like we are the captain, the captain can't see everything around the boat in every single direction. We can't see everything in our own life and around our own life in every single direction. We have a radar, though. Just like a boat has a radar, the universe is our radar, and this universe is looking for all
possible opportunities for you. It's always scanning, it's always scanning, it's always rearranging to be in virational alignment with you. Just because you don't understand what's going on right now, just because you can't see how everything's going to unfold, doesn't mean it's not on the universe's radar. The universe has an understanding that is beyond yours because we are stuck with this limited, limited mind.
The universe has this huge radar that has so much more information. So just because you don't know who you are right now, you don't know why everything's happening, doesn't mean the universe is in the dark. No, it's on the universe's radar, even if it's not on yours. So the first step of finding yourself again is actually relaxing into letting yourself be lost, letting yourself
question, wonder, think, feel, lean into it. Why because the universe is rearranging things for you, because your body is downloading your new vibrational energy. And just because you don't know that yet doesn't mean it's not happening. It means it's outside your conscious awareness. Let's get to step two. Step two to finding yourself again or cultivating a new concept to self concept is
experimenting with new ways of being. If you don't want to exist in your current form, you have to engage with new ways of being, opening up your mind and saying hmm, it's literally the definition of insanity for me to keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. If I want a different result, if I want a different reality, if I want a different identity, I have to start doing new things. Your personal reality becomes your personality.
What should you be experimenting with? Is the question? I would like to extend this question to you. What would you do every day if money and time didn't matter. That's the thing you need to start doing or continuously doing, but daily. What would you do if time didn't matter, if money didn't matter? Would you create videos? Would you write a book? Would you garden? What would you do? And you need to start doing this every day because I truly believe that your passions, what you love to
do, that's tightly, tightly wound up with your purpose. If you want to find out with your what your purpose is, if you want to find out who you are, you gotta start doing things that make you feel like you, that make you feel good. And maybe right now you're saying CC, well, I don't know what feels like me. That's okay, But you do know what feels good, and you do know it doesn't feel good, so simply follow your bliss. Another way to find out what should I
be experimenting with? Is think about what did I love to do when I was younger? Again, time and money didn't matter. What did I love to do? Did I love to ride horses? Did I love gymnastics? Did I love dance? And start doing those things again. So many of us have just lost touch with our authentic frequency because we've had to join the corporate world. We've been in college. We're so seduced by the three D world. We've forgotten us, We've forgotten ourselves. Get back in touch with
what you used to like to do. I would also love if you could experiment with things that you think you might like to do. When I went through a breakup, I had literally no identity besides being that of a girlfriend. So when I went through a breakup, I now had all this time. I had no identity, and I had no idea what to do with myself. So I asked myself, well, what did I used to love to do. I used to make so much content on iMovie when I was
little. So I got on TikTok. I started to make content again. I started to have fun with different mediums. I also asked myself, what do I think I might like to do? And that was yoga. And now I found a new passion of yoga, and I found my purpose through TikTok. That led me to becoming a certified life coach, which led to me starting a podcast, which led to me growing my following, which led
to me getting this book deal. It leads to things. That's why I'm saying, even if something isn't on your radar, it doesn't mean it's not on the univers's radar. Just because you're the captain on the boat and you can't see that iceberg that's fifty feet to the left of you doesn't mean it's not there. It's just not on your radar, but the ship's radar will
definitely catch that. I didn't understand why I needed to lose my older identity, but through experimenting with myself, I found a new way of being. I found my purpose. I found my career, I found my mission. I found a better relationship with the same person. So how can you start trying new things? Can you sign up for a new class? Can you join a book club? Something I started to do was read, simply read. I read new forms of content, self help books. I read so
much of them of a huge stack in my room. Now I thought I hated reading. Turns out I just hated the material. I was reading, but I love to read, So we have to experiment with new ways of being, try new things that maybe will like. I also tried pottery. Turns out I do not like pottery. Not a fan. Not a fan, But I never would have known that if I didn't try it, I
never would have become this yogi. If I didn't try it. You owe it to yourself to take healthy risks and go out there and do the things you used to love to do, and try new things that you've never tried before. Think about your favorite foods. You would never have known you loved that food if you never tried it. We have to experiment with new ways of being, hanging out with new people. When I was going through this identity shift, I reached out to people and they reached out to me.
People I wasn't really hanging out with in high school. People I didn't really know, but I knew. Okay. If I want to make new friendships as this new self, I have to start hanging out with different people. I need to experiment with different energies. Another thing I want to do, which is still part of number two, is change up your environment. Like I said before, when someone goes from home to college, or to a new school. New environments, even just a vacation can trigger new energetic parts
of yourself. Our environments, the environments we know that we exist within daily, have all these little triggers that retrigger us into our old way of being. Our environments, our teachers, our parents, our siblings, they all have certain triggers that trigger us into reremembering who we used to be. If we want to be a new person, just changing up your environment can help
you find yourself and shift who you've been. Going to this local harbor that I go to all the time, that was a new environment I never went to prior. In this new environment, it allowed me to activate different parts of myself. I would go there to journal, things I would never do before. I would go there to meditate, something I would never do before. I would go there to just talk to my angels. I would go there to take a walk, all these things I wasn't doing before, and
it allowed me space to step into a new identity. It gave me room to be someone else, to be someone new. So if you can try eating in a new environment, or going to a new library, a new park, a new trail, a new restaurant, a new bar, even, just try to shift up your environment so those old triggers won't trigger you back into older ways of being. The third thing that you can do to find yourself is ask your future self or your angels, what do I need
to know right now? You can ask your future self questions any time of the day. Your future self exists just like your past self exists, because all time exists equally in the quantum field. If you're not sure how to get to the next level or activate your next version of yourself, take five to ten minutes, close your eyes and say, futu yourself, what do I need to know right now in order to activate this next phase in my life? What do I need to do right now to get into contact with
the next version of myself? Give me all of the details. Just ask your future self and don't be so conclusive of how this is going to come through. It might come through as a song lyric, or an image or a metaphor, or just straight up information, but just be open minded to how the will come through. You can also ask your spirit guides, spirit guides of highest vibration, healing, spirit guides, what can I do to ease my anxiety right now? What can I do to feel more comfortable in
my own skin right now? I recommend putting on a calming frequency and doing this in nature for the best results. I also recommend keeping a notebook handy by you so that you can jot down the information if you want more details on how to contact your spirit guides. I have many episodes. They're all always in October. That's usually when we talk about spirit guides. For more information on that, just go through the podcast number four, Get Comfortable with
the Uncomfortable. This brings us back to your ego. Your ego, like I said before, is going to try to pull you back to that relationship that's not healthy for you, that friend group that's not healthy for you. The binging is going to try to bring you back there, not because it's good for you, but because that is what's familiar to your ego. That is what is familiar to it. You're going to feel a little stressed during this season. But here's the thing. Our body is going to produce cortisol
adrenaline either way, whether it's excitement or nervousness or stress. So if our body and our minds can't really tell the difference between what's stress and what's anxiety and what's excitement, you can decide what it's going to be for you. What I mean by this is, instead of every time you go on an interview or first date, instead of telling yourself, oh, this feeling is anxiety, start telling yourself this feeling is excitement. Because we actually don't know
because it feels the same, we're just labeling it. We're guessing if you're gonna lie to yourself, lying a way that actually is conducive to your desires. While you're taking healthy risks during this season and you're making changes in your life, you're gonna be faced with uncomfortable situations that your ego is not gonna like because it's gonna say I've never done this before, I want to go
back. If we know that, instead of seeing this uncomfortable feeling as a red light to stop, I want you to see it as a green light to keep going again healthy risk. I want you to see this feeling of I've never done this before, or oh, I'm feeling all weird about it as a green light to keep going. During this season, if you can do one new thing every single week, oh, you'll be off to the
races. Put yourself in a position to win. Ask a friend at yoga who maybe isn't a friend just yet, but someone you would like to be friends with. Hey, would you ever want to get green juices after or lunch or just start up a conversation with them? Go out to a new trail, to a new nature walk, read a new book, listen to a new podcast, try to do something you've been wanting to make that Etsy store. Take healthy risk. And when that feeling comes of this is uncomfortable.
I don't want to do this. See it as a green light. See it as a green light to keep going. Most of us, when we get this feeling, we're like, no, no, no, no, I have to stop. This is too uncomfortable. I'm done, and we stop, and then we miss the blessing. See it as a green light and keep going. Get used to the uncomfortability, I promise you. At first, I used to hate this feeling, and now I get so bored without it. I'm like, oh, there's nothing new in my life.
I feel stagnant. At the end of the day. If we're not growing, we're dying. So choose your avatar and get going. The fifth thing you can do to find yourself during this identity crisis ego death. This is twofold. It's say guess more and change your language. What do I mean by this? If you want to become someone new, you have to answer like someone else. I would always catch myself saying no to my friends asking me to get dinner, to go out, because that's just what my
old self would do. She would rather stay in with her boyfriend, and she would rather just be in her pajamas or her sweats, and she just wanted to be like a bear in hibernation. But I knew that if I wanted to become someone new, I couldn't keep answering like my old self.
So I had to start saying yes more. Now. I know there is this whole notion of if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. But when you're trying to become a new person, your hell knows, sometimes you have to override and make them hell yeses because you don't know how your new version of yourself would answer yet, because you're not them yet. See what I'm saying, Feel what I'm putting down here instead of me jumping to my old self's answer and just saying no, I don't want to go
out. No, you know, I'm fine. I'm fine. I said, what would my future self say? What would the best version of me say? She would say yes, she would just go and see what happens, because she knows if she doesn't like it, she can leave. Uber exists pretty much everywhere. Say yes more, Say yes more. If you're in a season that you know who you are, maybe then you don't need
to say yes more. If you're trying to find who you are. The reason I advise you to say yes more is because it opens up more opportunity, and right now you need opportunity to discover who you are. And one of the best ways to discover who you are is putting yourself in new situations with new people, in new environments. That's going to allow you to exist
in new ways, engage in new ways, answer in new ways. So forget if it's not a hell yes and it's a hell no, and just say yes more for this season because right now you don't know what your hell yes is and you don't know what your hell no is because you don't know who you are right now. So instead of being so locked down, and this is my hell no, this is my hell yes, experiment, this is experimental season, this is stranger things, but it's your life. Okay,
we are in that lab. We're cooking something up. Say yes more. In order to fully bloom into this new version of you, you can't just be interested. You have to be one hundred percent committed. This means it's going to be uncomfortable sometimes. But you're not working based on emotion right now. You're working based on what you value and what you value because you're a strong person. What you value is finding yourself. What you value is
getting ground. What you value is creating a good life that feels good to you. Maybe you need to sit down and write a list of five to ten things that you do value to help yourself understand what your new north star is. When you're trying to cultivate a new self, your emotions are going to be all over the place, and emotions are very fleeting, and emotions are not facts. Feelings are not facts or feelings. They're here and then they go, they oxidize, they change over. They're all over the place.
So we need to call on our angels and our guides and our future self to help us. But we also need to prioritize what do I value right now over my emotions, because a lot of our emotions have more to do with our past self than they have to do with where we want to go. When you're becoming this new person, not only do I want you saying yes more so you can engage with new opportunity. I need you to be one hundred percent committed to becoming this new version of you based on whatever
you value. Your values won't be the same as mine. They're not supposed to do with different people. But for example, when I was becoming a new person, I said, Okay, I don't know anything about me and I don't know how to cultivate a self, but I do know what I value. I value health, I value taking care of myself. I value creating a financial foundation for myself. I value creativity, I value friends, and I value family. How can I move in ways and say yes to
things that allow me to fill my cup in accordance to these values? And that's where I'm going to go. Because I don't really know how I feel about all these different things just yet, but I know I value them. I don't know exactly how I want my life to look. But your values can be cornerstones for you to follow and for you to create an outline your
life. On top of saying yes more, on top of clarifying what you value and building your life from that, on top of making a commitment to this self, I want you to focus on your language and only claim what it is you want to be true about your life. No more claiming things about your old self. I know that we think that self deprecating humor is the funniest thing, and it is funny sometimes, but I would never use
it on myself. If someone else wants to use that humor on themselves and it's funny, I'll chuckle, but I'll also say, don't talk bad about yourself. It's not good because your subconscious mind hears you everything you say, whether it's a joke or not, your subconscious mind hears you, and it thinks you're being one hundred percent for real. So if you don't want it to manifest in your reality, or if you want it to stop being a part of your identity, stop joking about it, stop claiming it, stop
talking about it. Let it go. Whether I'm joking or being serious or in any other silly mood. I never say anything negative ever, ever, ever, No, no, won't do it because my subconscious mind hears that, receives it, and then manifests it for me, and I don't want that life. Whatever traits you don't like about yourself, stop claiming them. Stop claiming them. And the traits you do want to have, start claiming them. I claim that I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm
interesting, I'm talented. I never claim anything that's negative. And whether I'm joking and I'm saying, oh, I'm just such an icon, it doesn't matter because that's a positive thing. But I would never joke about something negative about myself because I don't want to see that manifesting. Even if you think it's funny, it doesn't out of your subconscious mind doesn't get the joke. It things. You're being serious. Watch your language again? Why? Because
you can't just be interested in this. You have to be committed to this new version of you. It's up to you. Who do you want to commit to? Your past self or your future self. When we live from our past self, we repeat our past. When we live from our future self, whoa we're psychic. Suddenly we know exactly what to do, we know how to show up, We know who we want to be, and we manifest from our future. We live from our future. We're psychic rather
than repeatedly manifesting be as from our past. You have so much control over your reality, you just have to reach out and use it. Can't just know about it. You gotta be about it. You gotta put your action behind it. So the five steps are leaning into being lost, letting yourself be lost, experimenting with new things, being in new environments. Three is asking your future self or your spirit guides. Four is getting comfortable with the
uncomfortable, seeing it as a green light. And five is saying yes to more and changing your language, being committed to yourself, not just interested, and only claiming what it is you want to be true about your reality. As always a sparkle in me. Honors of sparkling you. Thank you so much for joining me here today. I'm sending you so much love. If you enjoy this podcast, please post it on social media and be sure to
tag me so I can repost it. If you have suggestions for this podcast, you can dm me on Instagram at vibe cc and at that bitch is positive. And of course if you love the episode, if you could leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, it helps the podcast grow and it means a world to me. If not for me, do it for you because good karma and I will see you in the next one. Na tak At Energy say you can't say how came how came adategy? No, we can strange a cant sasprat. You can sers frat