Energy. Not sorry. What's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing this episode, you are meant to be here, so keep listening. I'm that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh, other times a baby girl, We're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered positive bitch self. That is positive baby, and total connection with herself. If you're ready to gain true connection with your nature,
with the energy you came to planet Earth to be. You want to find your purpose, your happiness, and you want to explode and thrive in magnetic energy, you have found the perfect podcast today. I'm so excited for
today's episode. We are talking about how to see beyond the current circumstance, because girl, we need to be reminded, but also really how to balance our need to control aka our masculine energy when we are wanting to control everything, that is when we are in our wounded masculine and a lot of us, because of society, has learned hustle culture aka be in your wounded masculine bitch, and you better like it because that's all you get to do.
Yeah, a lot of us are walking around feeling burnt out. Tired, really just not happy with our circumstance, and we're thinking, well, this is just life, so I guess I have to live like this. That is a damn lie. That is a damn lie. We have been sold this hustle culture. And listen, I'm a Capricorn. If that means anything to you, I want big things. I am a really huge visualizer. I have so many dreams and goals and ambitions. So trust me when I
say this does not mean giving up control. Balancing your masculine energy does not mean you have to give up your dreams. It means you're gonna get your dreams, but the journey to get there is going to be a lot more pleasant. You can accomplish all that you accomplish, but you can do it either beating yourself up every single day in your wounded masculine hating your life, or you can love yourself to success. You can find the path that has
least resistance. There is a very delicate balance between fight and flow that we need in this life to achieve what we want to achieve without completely destroying ourselves in the process. This is not for me to tell you, oh, you have to only live a soft life. Don't go after what you want and everything should feel really easy. No, no, no no. We want a delicate, a delicate balance between our feminine the flow and the masculine, the fight, the action. And that is what we're going to talk
about today. How to not have to feel like we need to control everything. And I think something really important that we're going to talk about today. That's one of my favorite topics, is to really highlight. We're going to get into it, but the point that we do actually have a lot of control. Our confusion comes from what we have control over. We're trying to control what we don't have control over, and we're ignoring what we do.
And that is something that we're going to dig into as well. Now, usually I have a bunch of announcements, but today I only have one, and it is to really put the spotlight on minew Healing your Divine Feminine Energy, the Light, the Dark and the Wounded Workbook. This is a sixty six page digital workbook. Inside of this digital workbook, there are quizzes, there are tables for you to understand what is your divine feminine versus? What
is your divine masculine? What is your wounded feminine, what is your wounded masculine? There are journal prompts for you to write it all out, guided journal prompts literally hand in hand guiding you through the process, and so much more. There are so many different tools I loaded into this workbook to give you the most bang for your book. In this workbook, because it's digital, you can do it directly on your computer or tablet, or you can
also print it out. It is sixty six pages, so maybe it might be more beneficial on the computer, but it's completely up to you. In this workbook, I give you a ten step process to heal your wounded energies and to anchor in and embody your divine feminine energy. And I really I do not leave anything out. So everything you need to tap into your divine
feminine but also understand what it actually is, is in this workbook. But like I said, it's not just about the divine feminine, it's also about how to balance your divine masculine, because, as we're going to talk about in today's podcast, we need both energies. So if you're interested in this
workbook, it is so transformative. I'm going to leave the link in the show notes, but you can always go to my Instagram at Vibing with CC and find all of my links there or my other instagram at that Bitch is Positive. That really just honors this podcast. Without further ado, let's get into today's episode. So, as I said, a lot of us have been pushed into this masculine energy, and about eighty percent women lead with their
feminine energy. So when we're trying to instead shove our feminine energy down and embody this masculine energy, it feels like we're putting on a really uncomfortable pair of genes. And that's our uniform for every single day. So when we sit down at squeezing our stomach, when we stand up, we have all
the lines. These genes are not comfortable, and that is why we need to learn how to balance out our energies so that we can get success not through fighting our way there and screaming and crying, but gaining success through a way that actually felt good. The journey felt good. We are learning how to not destroy ourselves to success, but heal ourselves on the way there. There is this really interesting quote from the Buddha, and this quote says all
suffering comes from desire. I learned something really interesting about this quote recently. I look at this quote and I get it sort of, but I never could truly connect to it. As a capcorn. I have really really big desires and ambitions, and I have so many things I feel God put on my heart, and I'm not putting that shut down no way. I have things to do while I'm here, and I plan one hundred percent on seeing every single thing that I want to do. I plan on seeing it out,
and so I will. So this quote all suffering comes from desire from the Buddha. It never really hit home from me. While I could try to understand the whole entire point, YadA YadA, I didn't really love it. Sorry, Buddha. This is the one that I was like, maybe not. And then I recently learned that back then, when they were translating all of these different quotes, whether it was Jesus or Buddha or whoever it may be, the way they translated sentences, they would do it from the
whole sentence rather than word by word. So instead of translating the word the and then dog and then went the dog went, they would translate the dog went to the store as a full sentence. So there are a lot of words that have been mistrans mistranslated in our language, and therefore we're not getting the true nature of the original message because it was not word for word translation, and they mistranslated the actual quote from the Buddha. You heard it here
maybe first. I don't know, but the actual quote from the Buddha is not all suffering comes from desire. Dun dun, dunt dun. The real quote is all suffering comes from wanting something to be different than it is. Mike Drop, I'm going to say it again. Mistranslation here, Okay, folks, it's not all suffering comes from desire. It's that all suffering comes from wanting something to be different than it is. So this quote from the
Buddha. All these years we've been thinking, oh, all suffering comes from desire, All suffering comes from desire. I guess I can't have any desire. No no, no, no, no no no. The real translation is all suffering comes from wanting something to be different than it is. So basically what we're learning from this is we feel upset, angry, uncomfortable, sad, grief, depressed, not when we have desires, but when we're
trying to resist what is That is a very big and stark difference. It's not desires that are causing us to be upset, it's us resisting what is going on in our current circumstance. So when we're not feeling happy or we're feeling really upset, we're feeling like we're fighting against the grain, it's not because we have desires, it's because we are resisting what's happening in the current moment. A lot of us think that if I just control everything, I'm
going to feel better. If I just control this current circumstance, I will feel better. If I just control Harry and make him like me, all feel like I'm worthy and I'm good, and I'll feel better, that is yet not a fun journey to go on to Controlling everything outside of yourself is a huge sign that your anxiety is going off off okay on the inside. Remember, we can figure out what's going on internally by just looking at our
external reality. So if everything feels like it's going sideways and then we're trying to run after it and we're always on the defense, that is a sign that our internal reality is tipping as well. But a lot of us. Instead of just taking accountability for what we're manifesting, we say, well, I'll just control this, I'll just control everyone. Think about a time you are trying to control everything outside of you. Now, think about how shitty
you felt while doing that. The reason trying to control everything outside of you feel so terrible is because you're depleting yourself of all of your energy, your focus, your attention, your senses are on all of these things outside of you, instead of you just being tapped into yourself. How can you know what you're feeling and what you really want when you're trying to ensure that the
person you're dating is totally in love with you. How can you know what you really want and be connected to yourself when you're constantly people pleasing everyone else around you having this feeling of I need to control everything. That's just one of the ways anxiety can manifest. But what happens is we get this temporary relief of I'm controlling things, I feel powerful again, and then everything goes to shit when what we thought we were controlling doesn't go exactly how we envisioned.
If you're trying to control a partner or your kid or a parent, your friend. You're going to end up disappointed because eventually that control gives out that other person realizes Dingling a motherfucking ding oh high a free will. That's interesting. Trying to control everything outside of you is a very temporary winning game. You might have little wins here and there, but overall you're going to
be depleted and you probably won't get what you really want. This is our wounded masculine manifesting when we don't believe that there is a bigger plan that we're being supported. If we just don't even believe other people are capable, that itself can cause us to try to control everything. I find we become in our wounded masculine when we don't try. It's also having this root chakra block. Our root chakra, the one closest to planet Earth. It's red in
color. It's all about us feeling safe and secure, and when we don't feel safe and secure, it means there's some dysfunction in our root chakra. If you're realizing I don't feel safe in my own body. I don't trust that my coworkers are going to do a good job every time. Whenever I had a school project, I never trusted the other people to do a good job on the project. So I would always be lead bitch, and I would take it over because I thought, I'm not getting a bad grade because
of you peeps. I need to get in a and so I would be that overcontrolling person. But really I didn't even give anyone else a chance to step up to the plate. Maybe if I gave some space, somebody would have, But because I believed I was the only one who could do it, I reaffirmed my own belief by not even allowing other people the space to
come in and help me. We get even more anxious when we try to control everything outside of us, because when we look back, we realize, oh shit, I wasted so much time and so much energy and so much focus on something I couldn't control, and I didn't even get what I wanted in the outcome. We focus on the external world because we think it's easier to change what's around us than realizing the thing that actually needs to change is
ourself. The thing that needs to change is how we're perceiving the situation, not necessarily the situation. The thing that needs to change is how we're showing up to the situation, not necessarily the situation. The thing that needs to change is the actions we're taking towards the situation, not necessarily the situation. We aren't realizing that to make real change, we have to be the one to change. Here's another Be the change you wish to see in the world.
I always say, be the vibe you wish to see in the world, because when you're the changer, you are the vibe you start attracting different It's easier to blame the world than to actually take control over what I'm doing and how I'm showing up. Put it like this, you can host a really good party, but you can't control if people have a good time. I want us to expand that to our life. You can be the best
you, but it doesn't mean that everyone's gonna like you. There are some things that are in our control and there's other things that are just simply not in our control. And where the frustration really stems from is us trying to control that which we cannot change, and us ignoring what we can change. You can change the decorations in your party, you can change the lights, the food that you serve, but you cannot change whether or not people have
a good time. You can change you, your attitude, your morals, you're argues, your energy, but you can't change how other people are going to perceive you. When we get obsessive about trying to change what we can't change and ignoring what we can actually change, we go into our wounded masculine. We get over controlling, overbearing, hyper focused on things outside of ourselves, and all it does it makes us feel worse. I will say, some of us get that temporary ping of I feel like I'm in control,
but we need to understand what real control is. Is real control having an illusion that you have temporary control over your situation and people are bending to you, or is real control controlling how you show up? Is real control trying to manipulate people to get what you want? Or is real control being the vibration you want so you naturally attract the type of people you want. The control that we get from trying to change everything in our external reality, most
of it is very illusionary. If you want real control, start gaining control over your self, over how you perceive, how you show up, what you speak, beliefs, and the thoughts we have around situations really cause these problems to go to new levels. If we have the belief that I'm the only one who can ever do anything right, or I don't trust in others, I don't trust in God. Sort of like we were saying before,
this is going to cause our reality to mold to those beliefs. So maybe we need to take out a piece of paper and write down all of our beliefs that we need to be hyper masculine, that we need to be our own man, that we cannot trust anyone, in order to start bringing those two our conscious awareness. The thing that happens when you bring God and your spirit team and the universe into your center, you start seeing everything differently.
When I thought I have to do everything myself, I can't trust anyone, It's all up to me, I was giving myself a little bit too much credit. Honestly, I was thinking that I had way more control over the external, and I forgot I even had any control over myself. But when I brought God into my center, the universe, my spirit guides my angels, I realized I don't have to be so worried about everything that happened in my external. If I want real control, I'm gonna control how I show
up but the rest it's not just up to me. I have a divine plan that I'm following. What happens is when you think that you are at the center of your own universe, meaning there's no other help, it's only you and there's no guidance system. When you think like that, you think all of the bad things happen because of you. You think all the good things happen because of you too, But when the bad things happened, they bury you. The difference is I can say to myself, now, whether
I win or I lose, it's happening for me. Whether I get the job or I'm rejected, it's happening for me. Because I know I don't have total control over everything in my external I don't try to have it. I control what I can control, which is my own vibration and energy.
When you know that your spirit team is with you, and they're with you at your center of the world, and it's not just you all alone there in the cold, freezing and you have God and these angels, you know that, Okay, maybe if there's something I don't understand, it doesn't mean it doesn't make sense to my higher self. Because a lot of the time, our human self is going to say, what the fuck? I don't get it, But our higher self is gonna understand. Let's put it this
way. Let's say I'm at the center of my own universe, but I don't believe in my spirit team, or God or my angels. I think everything happens because of me, good and bad. Now, if I get a new boyfriend, I'll feel good this happened because of me. But if I get rejected, forget about it. I think I'm not good enough, I'm not pretty enough. There's something wrong with me. What is wrong with me? How am I causing this rejection? There must be something inherently wrong
with me. That's the problem of thinking it's up to you and only you. This is a problem when we reject our divine ness. Yeah, it's really easy to see our humanness. It's really easy to see our human self. It's much harder to understand, comprehend, and connect to sometimes our divine self when we're not used to doing that. When I have me, my spirit team, and God at the center of my universe, I understand, well. If I get rejected, well, that's protection, not rejection,
it's redirection. If I don't get the thing that I wanted. Oh, there must be something even better for me, because everything is working out for me. What you believe is going to dictate how you react, And if you believe that bad things happened because of you, you're going to end up in your wounded masculine trying to control everything, and you're gonna feel terrible about it. I remember during COVID the first time I heard that TikTok might get
canceled, I had a mental breakdown. TikTok was my outlet. It was where I was connecting with all of you beautiful positive bitches before there was even a podcast. It's really where I went to feel safe and at home and talk to other people like me. The people I was connecting with on TikTok and still to this day and on Instagram, they were my friends, soulmates, my people. And when I heard that was going to get canceled, I freaked out. I was like, there's nothing else that I love to
do and TikTok where is where I began. If you don't know, there's nothing else I love to do. I'm in love with TikTok. I love creating. This is my short form content this is how I like to create. And multiple days went by and I still was just feeling so terrible. And then I started reading all the tweets that TikTok was going to be taken away, and then I started watching the videos about people saying TikTok is going to be taken away, and then I was just crying, crying, crying
that TikTok was going to be taken away. I can't control if TikTok is going to be shut down, but I can control how I react to it. I can control what I do next. I can control the direction in which I change. So now, when I hear that TikTok is going to be possibly shut down, what did I do? I changed me. I couldn't. I can't change the law nothing I can do right now, but I can change me and how I react. So what did I do? I started posting consistently on Instagram. I said, Okay, I got to
build a community somewhere else. Okay, let me start a podcast where I can really go into depth about all of the topics that I love to talk about, where we can have long form. Let me just try it out. And it turns out I loved it writing down on a sheet of paper things I can control on one side, and on the other side, things I cannot control. And getting really clear about what you can control versus what you can't control will help keep your masculine energy and check. Now you don't
have to waste time trying to control TikTok. You can control how you're going to show up, what you're going to change, how you are going to shift your business plan or your brand, so you can still follow the vision that you've always had. I fully know I have a vision in my heart. I have a dream, I have a plan. How that plan unfolds, I do not know. Will my dream be accomplished? Absolutely fucking yes.
And that's how I go about my day. I don't know how I'm going to accomplish X, Y and Z. Do I know it will get done? Yes? And that is how I work with God, with the angels, with the universe. Some of my favorite affirmations that I've been retapping into recently is I am safe, I am supported, and I see God's presence in my life every day. I see God's support in my life every single day. Now you can use the word universe, you have to really
cultivate this to be your own. So saying I am safe, I'm supported, I feel seen by the universe. I see the universe is support in my life. I can taste it, touch it, feel it. I've been saying these affirmations every single day to remind myself of how safe and supported I feel. Because if you grew up and you've been in survival mode a really long time, you're probably really comfortable in your wounded masculine I was the exact same way, and sometimes it can be so easy to revert back to
it. So I still to this day have to remind myself I'm safe. God's got me. Let go and let flow. I am supported. I see God's presence in my life. I see the universe supporting me every single day. And even when I notice the universe supporting me, when I see something a mini miracles what I call them mini miracles because I see them everywhere, and I think that we're so used to thinking about miracles, like oh Jesus turned the water to wine. There are miracles in our day every single
day, and I call those mini miracles. I point out every single mini miracle in my day, and I'm like, thank you, God, Thank you God, Thank you God, because I want to remember my support. If you have anxious attachment, it's really common that you are going to see all the negative because you're always trying to protect yourself. So in my life I was prone to seeing negative. I mean, if you just have a
fucking brain, it's easier to see the negative. But what you want to start doing is listing all the mini miracles you see every single day in your life to convince yourself, to remind yourself, to show yourself that you are being supported. I look around and I say, oh, the light just turned green and I just got here. It's any miracle. In Florida, there are some bridges that go up. And when I get a bridge and I pass it and it didn't go up when it was supposed to go up,
I say, yes, mini miracle. When I get a soulmate client, I say yes, mini miracle. I mentally make a list all day, every day of all the mini miracles I see in my life, and I thank the universe for them because it reminds me that I am being supported. And if you don't feel financially supported by the universe, you don't feel supported. On planet Earth, you have to start cultivating a relationship with the universe in which you can feel supported. That can be affirmations, it can
be listing the mini miracles. And what this is gonna do is instead of you feeling cold and alone at the center of your universe alone, now it's you at the center, but the universe too, but your guides and your angels too, your guardians too, So you can remember, oh, I am being supported, I am being guided, I am being I am not alone. I know we have mercury retrograde around the corner, we have an eclipse, and I have so many dms of people getting into their wounded masks
skill in worrying about how is this going to affect me? What is this going to change in me? What am I going to have to do? Getting so cautious about what possibly could change in their life that they're resisting what is and already focusing on things that they might not even have control over. Sometimes things happen for straight up good fortune to come into your life. Sometimes things need to be removed, they need to be shifted, they need to
be transformed to make room for something better to come in. If we're freaking out about what we cannot change, it's going to be impossible to see the mini miracle. If we're freaking out about what we cannot change, it's going to be so hard to focus on what we can change. When I deleted my first chapter that I was writing. If you don't know, I'm writing a book, and I wrote the first chapter, perfected it, whatever I
deleted. It, spent like two days crying about it, whatever it was, and eventually I've realized, Okay, I can't control that I deleted this chapter. I can control how I write it the next time. I can control infusing even more positive energy, making it even better than it was the first time, And it ended up being better than the first time go around. There is gold at the end of your change. Okay, there is
a pot of gold at the end of your change. When you accept what change is happening and you instead just focus on showing up as your best self. It becomes too confusing and too clouded when you're trying to focus on what you cannot change, because it deprives you of the opportunity to shift what is possible, which can be your attitude, your focus, your attention, your emotion. I think understanding your values is really helpful to know where to focus.
I wrote down all the things I value my health, my wellness, my relationship, my career. Said, I can understand where to put my focus and my attention. We also want to do this when it comes to Okay, what do I value and what can I control that I value? I can control eating high vibe foods. I can control if something in my body happens to be going on and oh, dermatitis, for example, I could not figure out what the hell was causing dermatitis to happen on my face
for a very long time. It was not in my control. It felt very out of control. I eventually realized I was allergic to almonds, and then it was in my control to stop eating the almonds. I think it's important to highlight here that sometimes tis what's in your control versus what's not in your control might shift too. For the four oh my god years, I could not figure out why I was breaking out in dermatitis, and it wasn't until I got an allergy test that I was then able to stop eating the
almonds. I literally changed my almond butter three times. I tried doing different protein different I cut off caffeine. I was trying so many different things, but it never dawned on me to take almonds out completely. And so at the time, dermatitis and taking it off my face was not in my control. It wasn't until I got the allergy test that I was able to have better control over it and stop eating the almonds so I could stop causing the
allergic reaction. So sometimes what's in our control can even shift. So it's important that we pay attention to what's happening in our reality. The best way to manifest and align with good experiences is to feel good. Now, if you're going through any sort of circumstance that doesn't feel good to you, how can you accept what is and also understand beyond it? How can you accept
what is but also understand from your higher self point of view? Then maybe this wind is going to knock down some trees but ultimately clear a path for your purpose. How can we start to open ourselves up? All we have to do curiosity. You don't have to believe a damn word I am saying. You don't, but it would help. It would help you if you were just curious about what I was saying. If you were like, maybe
CC could beyond to something. That's all you need. You just need a little seed of what if this is happening for me for that to start to grow. You just need a little seed of maybe I could work with this. Maybe I can't control that, but I can control how I'm showing up every single day. I even think about high school. So many of us go to high school every single day so miserable, or went to high school so miserable every single day, like oh, get me out of here.
But really, if we just changed our attitude, it probably would have been a little bit more enjoyable. Even just reflecting on things that we've done and gone through and we're like, you know what, if I just had a little bit of a better attitude that day, that vacation, that high school experience, probably would have been a little bit better. So we're writing down what we can control and what we can't control, all while knowing what is
in our control system might change, it could alter. We might have more control sometimes than other times. If we get injured, if something happens, you never know. So we want to understand right now, this is what's in my control center, and right now, this is what's outside of my control center. Here's what I can control. How do I want to control this? How can I show up better? How can I encode myself to be my best self and show up every single day so life feels a little
bit better? And ultimately, how can I accept what is for me? I was so depleted by the end of dermatitis. I had no choice but to accept it, because what the fuck else was I going to do. I kept trying to experiment with myself. I kept my magnifying glass close to my eyes, and I kept exploring for what could possibly be the real culprit here. But I stopped letting it dictate how I was going to feel.
I kept looking for a cure, I kept looking for an answer, but I didn't let it beat me up as much as it did at the end of it, because there's no point. There's no point. When you start putting your energy towards what you can control, you start to realize you have a lot more fucking energy than you originally thought. When you start putting your energy towards what you can change, realized, Wow, I don't feel as bad as I did before, And it's actually so liberating to say oh,
I have no control over that. Whatever. When something someone may perceive as negative happens, now, I just try to laugh at it. I'm like, oh, okay, silly me. Didn't realize that my mistake. But maybe this happened for a reason. You never know. Every time the bridge comes up and throw rata and I'm like, mother effer, I have to sit behind this thing. Instead of being so upset I'm in traffic, I put on an audiobook and learn something new. Instead of being so upset I'm
in traffic. I think, you know what, maybe if this bridge didn't go up, something bad could have happened. I tell myself a story that's going to empower me to keep living my best self. So what the fuck story are you telling yourself? Because that's dictating how you're feeling every single day. I love you so much. If this podcast episode resonated with you, which I hope it did, it would mean the world to me. If you left a positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. If not for me,
do it for you. It's good karma. The sparkle in me as always honors the sparkle in you, and I will see you in the next one. Mom, sema into jes. Can't change I. Cannage cancer, I can't. Sus me, can't such me