Well, what's up, positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing this episode, you're meant to be here, so keep listening on that bitch is positive if you're new here. Sometimes we will laugh, other times we will cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered
positive bitch self. That is positive babe and total connection with herself. We are all about removing all the outside noise, the internal noise, and gating connection with our true essence so we can live our best, most magnetic life because we do don't get mad around here, We just get everything. In today's episode, we are talking about friendships, the quote unquote loss of friendship, but as positive bitches, we don't lose. We either win or we
learn. So we're gonna understand what the quote unquote loss of a friendship actually means and what we gain from it, as well as the pain we can experience from these moments. Why are we talking about this? Well, thanks to you, beautiful positive bitches who tune in every single week. Last week I was invited to be a panelist at the podcast Movement held in Vegas. I shared the stage with some beautiful, welcoming amazing light beings that I am
now so blessed to call my friends. You never know how people are gonna be when you're meeting them and they're in your industry, whether they work behind the scenes or in front of the camera as an influencer. There are many different characters out there, so you always tread lightly because you just don't know. I've met a lot of people living in New York my whole entire life. Going into New York City you meet a lot of characters as well as
going to private school. Again, I've met a lot of characters in my time. And the women I met at Podcast Movement, we're so amazing, so beautiful, and I am so grateful that I was even considered to be a panelist at the Podcast Movement. So I just want to take a second to say thank you to everyone who tunes in every single week and listens and talks with me and dms me on Instagram where we're talking about these concepts.
Thank you so much. I truly appreciate you. You are such a big part of my journey and I know it's always me blabbin over here, but I feel your energy each week and it's what motivates me. I see your reviews on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and I also read all of your gms. It might take me a little bit to get to them, but I
always get to all of them. So just thank you so much. The reason we're talking about friendships this week is because I just started a bunch of new, beautiful friendships with the women and the people I met at this podcast
movement. And while I was there, I was working out, because you know me, I literally would wake up, put a full face of makeup on, go do my panel, then go back to my room, take all my makeup off, go do a workout, then go shower, then put all my makeup back on, go interact with people, because you never know, there's so many pictures happening in videos that I wanted to look my best, okay, And I need my time alone at the gym as much as I need and want my time with people. So that was a self
boundary I had. That's so important. But while I was working out, I had to download because one of my songs that I've written in the past, it's called b Day, And let me just plague you a second of the song because it's not gonna make sense unless you hear it. It's just a lovation of my noivitation. No, you ain't got an invitations. No my exploitation, take away the devastation. It's my graduation from you in a whole years. It's a last one proms myself one see you no more.
Nothing felt better than showing you the night I didn't. So this song, what it says is no more exploitation, take away the devastation. It's my graduation from you. It's been a whole year since our last war. Promised myself wouldn't see you no more. Nothing felt better than showing you the door. Instead of crying, I just stopped replying. I started redefining, and now I'm out here thriving. I lived my first year free. My anniversary
candles out on one, two three, Happy birthday to me. The whole message behind the song is I lived one year free of talks with people, and so I was celebrating that people when they are sober for one year,
they celebrate their sober birthday. And I was doing that because I wasn't addicted to drugs, but I was addicted to people who weren't good for me, and I had to celebrate Okay, CC, you had one year free of these addictive I don't like saying the word toxic but unhealthy relationships in your life, So congratulate floculations and happy motherfucking birthday, okay. And that's what this
song was about. And while I was working out, this song happened to come on my phone and it started playing, and I was like, Oh, I forgot I even had this song, And what a fucking bop. You have to listen to it if you're going through literally anything with friendships or just wanting to find yourself again and wanting to hype yourself up to not go back to toxic or unhealthy relationships. It's such a good song to motivate you
to stay in your own skin. But it came on and I was reflecting on where I was a couple of years ago, and you know, a couple of years ago, I felt really lost and really alone. And we're going to get into it in this podcast, but I just want to say, before we even really get into it, if you're feeling like you've lost all your friends, or you're feeling alone, or you're feeling isolated, it's
not over, baby girl. It's not over. It's not over. It's not over until you find your happiness, you find your people, you find peace. That's when you know it's over, when you've gotten what you want. So if you're going through that season, don't think you're gonna be there forever. And we're going to talk about what it means and how to move through it. But before we get into it, I know that was a
really long segue. If you're not yet following me on Instagram at vibin with ccv ibi n with ci CII, or at that Bitch is Positive, follow me there so you get to stay in touch with the positive Bitch community. Of course, if you're looking for high vibrational music, you can look up CC or Angel Energy on any platform you listen to music and find me there. Again, be sure it's ci Ci. If you're looking to go through
a glow up. If you're feeling really anxious or romanticizing your path with an X or X friends, join the twenty one day break Up Globe Challenge, where you can learn how to put yourself back on the pedestal, how to tap into your divine feminine energy, how to make yourself more interesting so you actually want to hang out with yourself. I was recently talking to a client and I was explaining to her the reason we want to jump ships so much
from our own life is literally because we're bored. So part of glowing up is adding in those activities so you have something to spend time on and you actually want to spend time with yourself. Ding dong. Hello, there we go, Last, but not least, if you are wanting some more intimate guidance, I am a certified life coach and I do offer one on one sessions. All you have to do is DM me on Instagram and I can tell you more how I can help you there. Okay, without further ado,
let's get into today's episode. So, as I was saying, I was meeting amazing women that I was part of this panel with. And I specifically say women because when I was in college, I stopped being friends with this group of girls and I definitely felt like a splinter in my side. It definitely made me a little bit more afraid to connect with other feminine energies because I never wanted to feel that pain again. With friendships, we don't
think that they're ever going to end, but we know it. With relationships, on some level, we know, Okay, I'm either going to marry this person or I'm going to break up with them. We know that on some level when it comes to romantic relationships, But with friendships, we're not thinking about that. With friendships, we think b F F forever literally best friends forever b F. It's on our bracelets, it's on our fucking backpacks, it's on our necklaces, it's everywhere. And that's so ingreened in us.
And when that doesn't happen and we're not the FF's, ooh, it feels like a dagger to the heart. It can leave us feeling like we don't even know who we are. It can cause a loss of identity. It can really do some harm. But we know us positive bitches that people will flow in and people will flow out, and friendships, relationships, they're not meant to be stagnant. I'm currently living in Florida right now, and there's a lot of man made bodies of water, and these water are stagnant.
These bodies are stagnant. It's not like the ocean or a river where the water gets too freely move. It's stagnant. Stagnant water smells like shit. I'm sorry to not say that in a proper way, but really I'm not because I need you to feel what I'm putting down right here. Okay, it smells absolutely terrible. Stagnant relationships also start to stink up your life. I know so many of us are familiar with certain people my friendships.
I knew most of them since kindergarten to college. These were my family. They knew everything about me. They knew my family drama, they heard this scream in the fighting. They knew me like they knew themselves, and it was the same for me. I knew them like I knew myself. And when we stopped being friends, it was so sudden and so weird and so awkward that I remember hysterically crying to my mom and saying, I just feel like I don't deserve this. Why me? Why would this be happening to
me? What did I do that would cause us to happen? And the thing was, I didn't do anything. I will say though I definitely wasn't the best human being on planet Earth. I take responsibility for being a teenage girl, but there was nothing that I did to go after someone or there was no fight. There was no end argument, there was nothing that happened. We really just fell away from each other, and that hurt. That
really hurt. At the time, I thought, oh my god, I lost my best friends, I lost my family, I lost my identity, I lost everything. And I felt that way for years to come. And it wasn't until I finally really met a group a group at once, because I've met people along my journey that I'm like, oh my god, I
love you, You're my soul sister. But when I met this group of panelists and we started hanging out and getting to know each other, it really clicked in my head that I didn't lose my best friends, I didn't lose family. What I actually really lost was trauma, Bond's unhealthy patterns in her child wound connections, preenemies, codependent relationship and ships evil ires. Mmmmmmmmm. I didn't lose true friendship, because that's the interesting thing about friendships. You
don't lose them when they're true blue. You don't. You might get into an argument, you might get into a fight. You don't lose them forever. And even when we quote unquote lose a friendship, we're really gaining back a part of ourselves that's waiting to be reclaimed. When I was friends with these girls, I shoved down not really because of them, there's it's not like they personally said, oh, CEC, you shouldn't do this. I shoved down my more creative side. I even shoved down that I didn't want
to eat gluten because I didn't want to be judged for it. And I felt like when I would say, oh, I don't want to eat gluten, they would make fun of me. And when I did want to do something with music or singing, they never supported me. I think they just thought I wasn't talented. Or there's only one of two options. Either they were jealous like hello and thought I was really talented, or they thought I
was shipped and didn't want to share. But either way, they weren't honest about what they thought and they didn't support me literally like nine of the time. So in the moment, I was thinking, oh my god, I lost all these friendships. What am I gonna do? But now looking back, and you'll also have this come to Jesus moment of wait a second, I didn't lose friendships. I lost people who were jealous of me. I
lost friend of mees. I lost low vibrational connections, I lost faulty programming, And really I didn't lose it. I released it so I can let higher vibrational friendships flood my life in the moment, even though they weren't the best people for me, and we would all gossip, me included. That's what I mean when I say I wasn't the best person ever. I was a teenage girl. I would totally gossip in all of that jazz. But lo and behold, I didn't do specifically anything that would cause an end of
seven or six whatever friendships in the moment. We never want to let go of that familiarity. But let me just also explain to you something that happened to me literally yesterday. I needed to find a quest to get blood work, and I'm in Florida, and I don't really know the terrain down here because I only come here for a couple months out of the year so that I can get away from New York's cold, and my navigation system was trying to find a quest and I could not find this building. I don't usually
lose my shit. I was gonna lose my ship. I'm just gonna be honest with you, I was going to lose my shit because I went circling and circling and circling trying to find this motherfucking Quest building and it did not exist. I go into one building because I stopped, and I asked a nurse who what happened to be eating lunch? Where's Quests? I cannot find it? And she's like, oh, everyone always gets lost. You just have to go around the bend. I go around the bend and I literally
pointed to a building. I go, oh, it's three to five oh one, that's the building, and she says yes. I go into three to five one and it's a fucking insurance company. I'm walking in in my workout clothes. Everyone is in suits and ties and you know, corporate attire that to me would melt my body if I ever tried putting it on me.
I could not, Okay, I could not. Anyway, I walk in and I have eye contact with this man who's dressed in the nines, and I literally just turn around and I'm like, okay, this is not right. I continue to drive. I could not find the Quest building. You know why I couldn't find it because it doesn't fucking exists. I don't care what anyone says. Maps, Google Maps, Who are you? I
don't even know, but you're wrong. Please update yourself anyway, I couldn't find the quest, and then I was like, you know what, let me call. When I go to call, I see a bunch of terrible reviews pop up. They make you wait so long. There's a thousand people in here. It's not really that, you know, great, wonderful, whatever, And I try calling still. Even after seeing that, I was like, look, I don't really want to go, but it's the only thing I can think of that can take my blood for my doctor. And
I call, I can't get through. So then I was like, you know what, God wouldn't do this if he didn't want me to go somewhere else. So I hung up the phone and I just searched up other places I can get blood taken. I found another place. It was a sort of mom and pop place, which is weird when you're thinking about I need to get my blood taken, let me go to the mom and pop place. But the reviews were so good that I thought, you know why not.
So again, it's difficult to find things in Florida. Because I'm not used to this terrain, but I found it. It was It was on the second floor, but there's only outside stairwells. I take the outside stairwell. I get to the first door. It's a Sweet two hundred, but I need Sweet two A one. It happens to be that Sweet two A one is in Sweet two hundred. Who the fuck does that? Okay, just say it's in Sweet two hundred. Why is there Tweet two a one
in two hundred? You know what? This podcast is not about the layout of Florida. It is about losing front of me so that we can win lessons. So let me just get back on track with that. What I understood from this experience is that I was looking for a quest place because that's all I knew. But God knew better. He said, Cecy, I don't want you to have to wait on a very long line and waste your whole entire day. So I'm going to bring you this mom and pop place.
And guess what. There was no weight. There was one person getting their blood drawn and I walked right in. I gave my paperwork and was literally mean one other person. She took my blood and I was on my way sometimes sometimes Okay, here this when I say it, we think we know what's best for us, and we're gonna fight for it. We're gonna try hard. We're gonna try to keep these friendships sister relationship. But what if I told you God knows better and you're missing out on something better.
What if this isn't a friendship but a friend of me. What if this isn't healthy but a toxic, codependent relationship and there's something better. We often assume the worst because it's what we're programmed to do. We're listening to our ego, which is very limited. We are going to have a negative point of view unless we go in and we shift that ship up. What if there's something better. I didn't understand that quest wasn't the best option for me
at that time, but God did. And when you listen to the science and you go with the flow and you say fuck it, I'm gonna flow with this rather than trying to fight everything, you figure it out. It might take some time for me and my friendships. It took me I really went through this friendship or break up. It must be twenty nineteen or twenty
twenty, no, probably even before that. Twenty eighteen, and in twenty twenty three, I'm having this download of understanding more thoroughly about what relationships are and what kind of friendships I want. If you're dealing with friendships that they are ghosting on you all the time, if you're dealing with friendships that they never support you, they low key make fun of you, but say they're just joking. That's not friendship. That is friend and needs. Let me
just tell you. Show me your friends, and I'll tell you your future. Because you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. I've wasted my time spending time with lower vibrational people. And you know what that does. It stagnates our growth. Instead of me going after my dreams, posting that TikTok sooner, posting that YouTube cover sooner, I was so consumed about what they were thinking that I could not even think for
myself and do what was really going to give me happiness. Let me tell you, if you were living for someone else, you are way overvaluing someone else's opinion. And if you're overvaluing their opinion, there's no fucking way you're being able to hear yourself and what it is you actually want think about it like this. If you stepped in dog shit, I wouldn't say, Oh, like it's stepped in dog shit, you have to stay in it forever. I would say, no, girl, get that little booty out,
let's clean it off and let's keep moving forward. Just because we've had maybe shitty relationships or friendships, it doesn't mean we have to be in them forever. History, history, her story cannot be the only reason you stay in a friendship. For the longest time, I was telling myself, well, I've known these girls since kindergarten, so I have to be friends with them. I have so much history with them, so we have to stay friends. No, no, no, that's a funny reason. That doesn't make
any sense. What unless you want to be a prisoner of your past, I would decide to not allow history history to be the only reason you stay in a friendship or even a relationship. It's not enough. It's not enough. If you told me I love this person but they're verbally abusive to me, I would tell you love is not enough. If you were telling me, oh, you know, I'm really familiar with this friendship. I love this friendship, but they're verbally abusive with me. I would tell you love
is not enough. Love is not enough, and history is not enough. You need more than love of a friendship. You need more than history of a friendship for it to be prolonged. You need boundaries, You need respect, you need mutual love. It's not just about the feels. All of the time. You could feel a lot, doesn't mean you're being treated right. When we stay around people in a lower vibration, we lower our own vibration because we're the average of those five people where the average intelligence, we
are, even the average weight. It's crazy how intense this is. The average everything will have the average income of them. So start looking around. Who are you hanging out with the most, because that's your average. If your average is people you don't want to be like, you better start moving and grooving in another direction. And I know it's scary to say, well, this is all I know. These are the people I know, These are the friendships I know. Trust me, I've been there. Let me
tell you now. You might have some seasons where you're a little bit more isolated, where you need to revamp your vibration, But that's the whole point of it. If you want to start inviting in new people into your life, you have to start shifting your vibration. That might mean a season of a little bit more alone time. And when you're in that alone time, what can you actually do to shift your vibration? You listen to podcasts, Hello, what are we doing right now? You read books, You watch
YouTube videos and vlogs of people you want to be like. You listen to ted talks. You sign up for that baking class, that yoga class, that martial arts class, that belly dancing class. Put yourself in a position to win. And the only way you can put yourself in a position to win is if you start following your own heart, your own opinion, and stop shoving yourself into a small box because of the opinion of people around you.
We are the most miserable when we're listening to all of that outside noise. Let me just tell you that when I started listening to what I wanted to do, my quality of life, my quality of happiness simply got better because I was following my own heart. You don't have someone else's ideas and hearts because you're not meant to follow their path. You have your ideas and your heart, because you're meant to follow your path, and it's a different
path. If you have amazing memories with these friends, that's a great thing. There's nothing wrong with that. I think that my friendships of my past they were my soulmates for that time, and then that soul contract was simply over and we could put it to rest. That's it. That version of myself had different soulmates than this version of myself has. That version of myself was in a lower vibration, so they had lower vibration connections and soulmates.
This current version of myself has higher vibrational soulmates, higher vibrational connections that I am enjoying a lot more. But it has been a process, and no soulmate, whether their higher vibe or lower vibe, is really better than another. They're all serving a different purpose in your life. I at first looked at my friendships that I no longer had as, oh, my god, a waste of time, and then I realized, no, they were actually
perfect for that timing. They were perfect to help me get through that elementary school experience, at high school experience, that transition into college. They were perfect to have these funny, these playful times with But now that I want more, they can't quench that thirst of connection that I desire because you can
only meet people as deep as they have met themselves. And if you're getting to the point I know I did, where you're getting tired of going out and drinking every single weekend, You're getting tired of doing the same thing every
single weekend, You're getting bored with it. You might have to start branching out to that book club, to someone else and putting yourself out there, or at least putting yourself in other positions, like I said, positions that are going to allow you to be happy, like following what it is you really want to do. The number one regret of the dying is that they didn't go after what they truly wanted, that they didn't really live the life that they came here to live. I need you to listen to me very
closely. Bitch. You came all the way, all the way to planet Earth, and you incarnated here. If you waste your fucking time worrying about what other people are thinking of you, what are you doing? What are you doing? If you waste your precious time worried about what Sally and Paul are thinking about you. You're giving your power away. Keep in mind, no one can take your power away. You can only give it away when you believe the illusion of their limiting beliefs. You can only give it away
when you give up your happiness. You trade your happiness for their bullshit. That is when our power is stripped from us, because really, we were the ones who said it's okay for it to be taken from me. I want to remind you if you are currently having friendships and they don't feel good, there's a reason. If they're not supporting you, if they're low key bullying you. You need to remove yourself from the situation because you can stagnate
yourself for years by staying in the wrong place. They may have been the right people for that right time, but not anymore, and it's time to take a bet, a risk, a chance on yourself. All you need is at one moment of courage to say I want more than this, I'm better than this. Let's say you're in a friend group and some of the friends you can actually see yourself continuously being friends with. Ask them, Hey, do you want to try this paint night? Do you want to try
yoga. Invite them to be a part of this new vibration. If there's someone you still like, invite them along for the journey. Invite them along. You can't get hurt by that. If they say no, Okay, you're going to meet someone else even better for you. Vibrationally, I want to keep in mind what a friend actually is. I'm gonna say it again because I think we need to hear it. There's a lot of different definitions of what people say friends are, but let me tell you what friends are
not. They're not bullies. They're not going to shove you down into a box. They're not going to make their limiting beliefs yours. And if they trip up sometimes because we're all human, they're gonna catch themselves and they're gonna apologize, and they're gonna have a come to Jesus moment. A friendship that is based in a soulmate contract. They might not automatically know how to be a good friend, or how to handle you, how to be with you,
how to operate with you. They might not know it automatically. Many of them do, but they might not always know. A friend, though, is going to learn and grow with you through your journey. They're not going to say, oh, you're gonna start singing that is so cringe. I'm never being friends with you again. They're going to say, wow, that's really cool. I would love to support you. Let me know how I can. If you're having an insecure night, they're not going to be
like, actually, Betty, you do look ugly in that dress. They're gonna say, girl, let's find something in my closet. Let's do it up. Let's figure something out. You look beautiful, but if you don't like it, let's work this out together. A real friend that's based in a soulmate contract or someone who has their heart opened, they're going to stay when things get tough. You're getting bullied on the internet, they're not going to pace out. They're going to show up for you. You're getting bullied
in school, They're sticking up for you. They will look for solutions, and they're going to try to communicate with you instead of being like, oh this is too yuck. I'm out of here. I'm going to think about myself instead. I don't really care about you. If your friends keep going out to get drunk every single weekend, there's nothing wrong with having a drink
when you're going out whatever. But if you're blocking out every single weekend, and now you're following your friends who are also doing that, that's going to lower your vibration because instead of going after your dreams or your goals, or studying or doing what you need to do, you're now trying to keep up with the joneses. And these are low vibrational joneses. Instead of you following
your heart, you're numbing yourself. That lowers your vibration. Now you don't just do it on this weekend, but you do it next week and next month, and next month, and next year, next year, and eventually this goes on for years and years and years, and you look back and you're saying, oh my god, what did I do with all of my time? You end up spending all of this time trying to fit in rather than trying to make your dreams come true. Of course, that stagnates you.
Of course, that puts you back a couple of years. Of course it does look how you are being used by your time instead of you using your time. Not only are you wasting your own time, but you're gonna get really depleted and feel pretty crappy most of the time. You know, when you go on a date, or you meet someone new, or you have a lab partner and there's just no connection there. It just feels I say, it feels like, what is that tin man? Without any oil
from wizards? I was gonna say, Wizards of Waverley Place the generation that I'm in, I'm a gen z, but I'm like on the cuss and sometimes the generational wires to get crossed the Wizard of Oz, not Wizards of Way, really please the tin man in the Wizard of odd Oz. I can't even the wires they're getting cross It needs oil, this little tin man. That's what it feels like when you're trying to make a connection when there's no connection actually there, and it depletes us to try to think about what
should I talk about? Who do I have to be? Oh my god, I have to put on my mask again? Yay me. That's fucking depleting. So you're wasting your time, you're wasting your energy, and you feel bad. If any of this is sparking anything in you, it's time to start making changes now. I'm not saying ditch your friends and be like so long losers. No, I'm saying, start little by little, pouring
into you more than you're pouring into them. Start little by little, maybe inviting one of those friends, Hey, do you want to try this? Instead, start little by little signing up for a new class, or listening to podcasts or YouTube or Ted talks about things you're interested in. You can start working on your vibration. Because someone commented on my reel and they bought
up such a great point. They said, you know, even if you are working with these five people all the time who are in a lower vibration, you can plug in that podcast or that YouTube video and tune up your vibration that way. And that is so true because when you're tapping into my tiktoks or my reels or my twenty one day Breakup Globe Challenge, or this podcast or my soon to be book, when you tap into that, you're
also tapping into my energy. And therefore, if you're in a lower vibration, I'm raising you up with me, and I'm tapping into other positive bitches. So really it's like we're all holding hands and raising up one another. And that's why it's important we have this weekly community, this weekly talk. So that we're able to connect with one another. I really have to make
a Facebook group ch for all of us. I have one for the twenty one day challenge, but I really want to make one for that Bitch's Positive podcasts in general. And I will eventually put that in the show notes and I will post that on social media as well, so we can all be a part of it. But that is just another way to start tuning into your own vibration instead of tuning into the people around you when they're lowering your
vibration. In a nutshell, what I want you to understand is it took me years to really build a network around me that felt good to me. I have friends in a lot of different places, and I only keep the friendships that feel amazing to me. Because when you have friendships that feel amazing, they're pouring into you and you're pouring into them. It's an equal exchange of energy. And that's what I want for you now. I didn't find this group of women amazing group of women who I was on the panel with
the day after I stop being friends with those girls. It was maybe, let's say twenty nineteen to twenty twenty, twenty twenty one, twenty twenty two, twenty twenty three, four years later, four years later, But I did not stop because I knew, no, no, no, no, I'm worth more than that. If they're not going to support me, I'm going to get my angels to support me. I'm going to support myself, but I'm not going to be around people who can't see my worth. When
we do that, we're energetically chasing and it does not feel good. It doesn't happen overnight for all of us. Some people do. They find their people and they're good, but it doesn't always happen overnight. But I want you to have the faith that it will happen, because it will. I do have another podcast on how to make friends, and I will put that in the show notes in case you aren't sure about how to do that and want some more guidance on that. But that is really it for today.
I love you so much. Thank you so much for joining me this week to ship and chat. The sparkle in me always honors a sparkle in you. If this podcast resonated, please leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. It helps this podcast grow, It makes me happy, and if not for me. It is positive karma for you, so why the heck not. I love you so much and I will see you in the next one. Can me cancerash me