I'm Such A Lover Boy w/ Zach Campbell

shirt says. Hey, you know, sometimes you smoke a little joint and then you'd be on the Instagram or on the Amazon or something, and then you make a purchase. So I was on the Instagram and I was scrolling and Chloe Bailey was selling her shirt because I guess she had said when life is beating your ass arch it. And then she made a shirt that the bottom like

has a stick figure like literally it's ass. And I was like, and I bought it and I'm don't regret it and picked it up for my po box, totally forgetting that I bought this and I don't regret it because I feel like we all need that reminder, you know, which to me is go with the motherfucking flow, you know, And if life is going to try and take it out of you, don't fight against it. Just just go with the flow. Here's what I'll say. I'm gonna tell

you what a thirteen inch top once told me. As I chomped down hard on a hotel pillow that was wet with my sweat, he said, breathe, bitch. The realty, By the way, the realty is I was. I was sweating because we needed the ac. I was chomping down because I'm a owner and I didn't want to, you know, wake up my neighbors. But I was breathing through my nose, okay. And I took that dick like gatorade after a game. Okay. Why because before I have sex, I used my dildo

to open me up. Which is a hack for any of you that are going to be taking a bigger dick. Don't wait for them to open you up, because the top might open you up in a crazy way, or it might take a minute. So after you know you've done your anal preparation, you know, play with your toy, play with your butt plug. What were we talking about, By the way, Welcome to the show. This is tell me something messy. I am your host Brandon call goodman. Some people call me messy mom. You can call me

a data rade. But the whole point of this is, Babe, whatever you're going through, if life is beating you up, look it square in the eye and then turn around and present your ass and let it pound it and breathe, breathe that you got this. You got this all right. Let's get the show started, baby. You know what that means. Time for a guest. Well, while they get situated, we'll get our messy key key started with a whole manifesto.

Repeat after me aloud or in your head. Grant me the surrendering to unpack my shame, the courage to heal, the wisdom to know that sex is not just about penetration, The audacity to advocate for my pleasure and boundaries. The strength to not call my ex that fuck boy, fuck girl, or fuck by, for it is better to masturbate by myself in peace than to let someone play in my mother fucking face. Let the community say, holujah, I am so excited to have my girl Zach on the show.

Zach Campbell is a sought after pop culture personality, entertainer, and recording artist. Zach has been featured and has worked on multiple platforms including Netflix, Tender, Hello, Ross Graham, Norton with Lady Gaga, Beyonce's Formation or Empty, v Awards, Pride, and VH one Honors. In addition, Zach has a successful and long standing YouTube show alongside his co host Trey Melvin, where they tackle pop culture, mental health, and entertainment. Hey Zack,

it's long overdue. Over this has been a talk in conversation. So I'm actually very very excited because I have been following Messy Mondays for at least two years now, and just like watching it grow into this thing is so cool, Like you really took this entire brand of being sex positive and like not shameful of like your kinks, and I've even learned things like I was like, maybe I

am like that. Maybe I'm maybe I like this because I feel like, especially in the gay community, sex is very what's the word I'm looking to talk about it, It's just it's a it's an array of things. It shouldn't live under just top or bottom, because there's so many things to learn. So I am so grateful to learn about my body, things that I may like and things like that. So you just make it so comfortable.

So coming on this show with a no brainer, I was like, absolutely, you would love to learn even more if I can't, come ahead, I do that and you I just want a fangirl on you because I have been following you for years. One of the things I love about Zach is your reactions to when you like want you do reaction videos they are it just feels like my people. It's like, yeah, that's why aren't y'all reacting like that? Like I really need you to be

like a judging American idol because they're not. We're not screaming. I would not for me. They're not yelling. Yeah, and you really give me. You give the girls the energy they need. But the thing is what's interesting is that if you really knew me before I even started recording myself, Yeah, my friends have experienced this for a long time. I believe it, and so I used to do this in front of my friends, like okay, So like, for instance,

I'll never forget when I am Sasha Fears album drop. Yes, I was the one that was running around my house acted stupid. I did single ades up and down the street, I did the routine, I did sing ladies anywhere I could. That's right, you know what I mean? You should. And I knew that routine from front to back, back to front, and I knew live variations. It was the holy ghost was in you, the holy ghost of Sasha, you know

what I mean. Absolutely. So one day I was just like, I my friends got sick of here in my mouth every day and I was like, Okay, it's time, y'all, y'all, I'm gonna take listen Internet, and I said, well, I never seen anybody at that time. It was twenty thirteen. I've never seen or twenty yep, twenty thirteen. I've never seen anyone talk about music and like go crazy over it. Not even go crazy over, but just like react to

it in real time, in real time. And I was like, I'm gonna just record myself and post it on innet. We're all screaming in our Why are we pretendingly? When I screaming in that? I hate that. I hate then like the coolness of it, Oh yeah, the cool fact, you know what I mean? Yeah? And I think I never had that with my career. Yes, I think that I made a career off not being cool. And it's just not cool. It's not a ship. Now, it's cool to be a music nerve, music buff or like fucking

go crazy in your apartment. It's kind of cool. Now, Yes, I'll take it, and that time I'm sitting here with you today. Okay, Well let's play a game. Okay, So this game is fuck Mary or block. We don't we don't kill nobody. We just blocked just the Are you ready? I am. I'm very ready. And for y'all at home, and not all of y'all, but those of y'all listening wherever you are. Some of you might have to brace yourself for this one, but we're gonna do it. Okay,

fuck Mary, Block, Okay, Renaissance Lemonade girl, Okay four. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I look at your faces, look at your face. I know. I know when I wrote it down, when I wrote it, Dallas said, you're an unhinged bitch. You're an unhinged bitch. Yeah. Wow, I know. I know. It's quite homosopic. This is quite homophobic. It's racist, it's misogynous, all the things. Yeah yeah, but I had to know the answer. This is a part

of Trump's campaign. Wow, whoa fuse. Renaissance is a cultural moment absolutely, so who you fucking? Who? You block it? Why would you do that? I don't know. It's really crazy. Welcome. I'm just gonna say, I'm going to fuck for and I'm gonna block Renaissance. Oh wow, that's heavy and that's crazy. Can't. I just can't let go. I just can't let for. I can't block four. It's like blow four made. We would not be at Renaissance without four. You're absolutely, I

just can't. My spirit just like dropped a little bit. We can't block. But but okay, so I love to know yours. I'm so interesting. Yeah, what is mine? I think? Oh wow, I think I'm gonna marry Renaissance Renaissance because that's the healed girl that I mean. I'm going to This is hard, This is hard for you. That is the spiritual Oh my god. I mean freedom is literally the song of the of the year. Right now, Okay, we cut this, this, cut this, cut this, well, just

on this variety. I'm gonna stick to my hands. It's messy. We wouldn't be messy if you didn't be It's okay. We'll give you if you say temporarily. Temporarily. It's a temporary, it's a temporary. Okay. This one is also a little bit hard. Mary Block Dick lips on the face. Lips on the face, Yeah, because you know what I mean, the lips on between the lake. Oh, I guess I could have just said mouth. I don't know. That's crazy, that's nuts, okay, I mean, you know, a mouth. What

you're looking for? The word you're looking for it, Steve, shoot me, lips on the face. It's a mouth. Oh my god, Damn, that's hard. That's hard. Okay, Off the fucking rip. I'm marrying ass for sure. I just love the confident yeah. Yeah, and the declaration because I know I know for a fact, yes, I oh you love that. Yeah, okay, work. It's probably the most masculine, the most testaal thing about me, Like I become very animalistic when you see that good ass,

You're like, I want it. It's crazy and I'm very direct. The way are you looking at me? I know you w up to somebody that as yeah, what's it doing? Yeah, what you're doing? Right? I would love to know for a drink really quickly, just to get to know ye experience okay, and definitely fucking dick. I don't kiss everybody, so you can get the wow. Yeah. Yeah, because I also like, I love like so like as much as I love ass. I love like eating somebody out but

also grabbing the dick from the back so like. And it's something about like like fucking around with ass but also playing with dick. Two, I do need a bottom that like loves to like have their dig play with and like go suck to like you just need. I would love that. I mean I could. I know there's somebody's like, bitch, you don't even touch it, so I can. I can responded that to love please let me do everything. Thank and that's all all. That's give me the whole

menu really quickly. So yeah, I love to like I'm such and I'm such a four play king, so like I need all of that. So, like I said, I said, I fu the dick, but I else bitch and kissing is just too too personal for me. Oh got you And I love kissing. That's the guy. I love it, but it's very intimate. I need to really like you. I need to really live for you. See, I need

in order for my dog to get hard. I need to make out really yeah, like okay, like right, because like if the kissing ain't given what I wanted to give, I don't know. I mean, but if you get on that bed and you and your art is crazy, you're here. I'm here, I got you the art. Yeah, you give me a presentation. I was in Madrid and I went over to this guy's house and he wanted me to just like walk in and he'd be ready walk in

and be ready ready I did. I walked in and that ass was up and that arch was so sick. I said, oh my god, crazy, I said, I have to get up in here. I have to get It's mandatory at this point, at this one, this one. Yeah, this what I'm going abroad very soon. Maybe yeah, we'll talk off the mic please if I know I'm going to Yeah, I didn't get to go, but my friend we were just there, my friend, I'm going to a to I think I may do Madrid too, so like great, yeah,

so we'll talk Madrid. The dicks are big, really, the asses are fat. That's what I want, baby. I definitely want my europop like I need my euro baby. Let them pop and pop them back. Okay, okay, so you're gonna fuck you're going to marry what I do? I would marry the lips the mouth. That's crazy. You're you're crazy for asking me these questions. I'm creative. I would love to know. I am going to dang hmm, I'm going to marry my man, answered Dick. I loved it, yeah,

the way I loved it. Yeah, oh my god. Yeah, but I love it. Yeah, it's fab. These are unhinged questions. I don't know who wrote this blackout when I write these. Okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna marry Dick. That's fab. I love that for you. Yeah, I'm going to I mean, it's a good answer, honest answer. It's a really good answer, honestly, and honestly I'm going to ask. You have to because why not? Because why it's there? Yeah, so you're going to get the rid of the lips

to kind of get rid of the lips. Yeah, it's just kissing is because everybody can't kiss. Also, that's have you ever had like a make up situation? It's like, yeah, sometimes it's you know what, you don't know what you're doing. You're like licking my entire mouth. That's also like when they were their tongue slips into the notes and I'm like, baby, you're doing what's happening? Why are we? Why are you up here? Now? One thing I do live for. Tell me now, bitch, get me a bitation, like a biting,

a little bite of the lip. I'll put you in the throat. Sir. Well, that's the game and you won. You win my unconditional love. I love it. Okay, Messy patrons, if you have prompts for fuck Mary block, you can send them to tell me something messy at gmail dot com. Speaking of ze yes, love, tell me something messy. Oo, this is messy. You've said some messy things I have right technically, So here's the thing right recently in my I just turned thirty this year, so thank you, thank you.

I am having this new return or this new awakening that I've always known, but I've been trying to like kind of push it away because I don't want to seem boring. Yeah, but here's the gag. I think I've been saying I'm a verse top for a long time. Huh. But the more the older I get and the more like when I get down to a situation or a hookup or something I'm not bottoming, and I'm like and I'm like, I'm like, I know, the verse can't be just because I like to either suck dick or like whatever.

That can't just be verse, Like that's just that you should want to suck dick. Understand why you know what I mean? So I say all that to say, I am now noticing that whatever energy that I'm harnessing and whatever new energy that this is of when I'm in the bedroom with somebody, it is very very very dominant, and I'm even attracted to it. So I was like,

this is nice. But also in my relationship, I was the top the entire three years, So that makes very much sense of why the what really was festering under

came about. So I was looking up with this guy and I feel really bad because it wasn't performance anxiety, but I definitely got soft and I know exactly why because I I forcing it right and like okay, so like like forcing the connection, yeah, and all because I want to get my dick way, yeah, just to be honest, And so he was sucking me and whatever it got, obviously I'm gonna get like stiff for that, But I think because I wasn't physically completely attracted to the person,

and I never had this happen before because like I'm usually have a problem getting back down. Ah, that's usually my issue, like once and it takes me a lot to actually like come to like I have to, like so a bottoms dream. So what's interesting is funny you said that, like this couple of stories, just this other guy I was looking up with recently, Like I said, I didn't completely fuck him because we're just fucking around whatever.

And I also love like if I'm going to talk to you, like I don't want to fuck you immediately either. I love to get to know you and like we could full around and shit. But like once I finally get between those cheeks, it's going to be a moment. So let's let's just continue to get to know each other, to discover each other's bodies more. I actually love that more because when I actually do fuck, it's going to be You're way more comfortable, you know what I mean.

Like and I and we have a conversation, we have a vibe. So I do notice that I don't just slink dick in anybody. So I do love that about myself love that and that hookup. I was as strong as an ox and the entire time, to the point where he was like should we because he was like, you're not going down at all, Like he was like, what's going on? I was like, I was telling him. I was like, well, yet, this is what happens like

when like I'm like ready to go. It's just not like unless you got some like USh she gushy good ship that like, oh I'm probably have to tap out. Is this is crazy and I have that happen like whoo, I'll get it back in a second. One second. I didn't expect this to be that good. Whoa, whoa, whoa. So back to the messy story. I he was going on and he was like going hard on me, sucking and he was what was a decent head. That's good head,

it's good head. And what happens with me is that my brain starts to go and now I'm thinking about how much I'm not attracted this getting your head, and now my shit going soft, and I feel so bad because he's like trying to get it back, like he's like oh oh whoa, oh no, okay, let me just do that I'll try this, Let me do this, let me look out here, let me do And I'm talking about like literally got on the like he got on the floor, like he got on the bed, on the

bed why, Like he spread his shit up, like was like like okay, like is this what is this going to get you going? And it would once again, but there was a connection on it. And this is the first time in my entire thirty years of life feeling like I don't want to do this. I love sex,

like love sex female male, really doesn't matter. I love sex, right, And so I'm like, why am I not like at least trying to get a nut off, like because click So to be completely transparent, the boy wanted to like service me soody like full submissic, completely do what the fuck you want to do to me? Type shit? Sure love this about But if this was somebody I really want to fuck, then this would be any different story. This was somebody I was like, oh, so, how did

you get out of it? Or how did you how did you bring it to a close? So I let him. I let him like suck me to like let him jack off while he was sucking me. No, he came from that and I was like, I'm so happy for you. I literally literally like I ain't going to use that even if I love it. I'm so happy for the moment somebody comes. That's literally I really took his hand and was like, M so happy for you. I gotta go, Yeah, I gotta go. He was like, what do you want me to do? I was like, I've done my I

was like, you've done enough for me. I was like this made me happy, and he was like oh. I was like yeah, okay, I gotta go. Yeah. But you know what I appreciate about that is you made sure the thing got all yeah, no, because that was shitty, yeah, flaccid dick and all by the way, yeahah yeah, no, no, no, no, baby was working with a gummy at this point, Like you know, it wasn't a gummy. It was definitely like that medium like hard, like sure but like it put it in, but it can go in your mouth to

hold it and keep it a little hard. But it's not even doing that, like I think a cockering probably could say it maybe maybe maybe, so yeah, but I wanted to make sure baby boy got his ship because like, I just don't want to make anybody feel like they're ugly or unattractive. I'm not that girl, I'm not that person that's a shitty person. I'm not a dick. So I was like, let me at least give him the

feel that felt like and so. But then now here's the fucked up part though, because now that person feels as though there's a real connection. They hit me up every once in a while. I didn't want to do this, and I'm like like that. You know, listen, that's always awkward because you want to you want to leave people better than you found them, you know what I mean. Sex is so vulnerable. So no matter what's going on, whether it's the lack of attraction, which is natural happens,

it doesn't mean that the person isn't attractive. We all have the things that we are attracted to, absolutely, and you want to people feel okay. I love making people feel sexy, especially if I got you naked, like I'm not that person. Make you feel like, because why would I ta get here there exactly? You know what I mean. So it's like I was at least maybe I was curious something like that. But the follow ups are always

can be difficult if you're not into it. The follow ups are not the best, but you know you do your best. Yeah, I busy schedule, but I'm see what the schedule is looking like, and the schedule is never going to be there, but you know what it's like, or you say I mean which I don't know? What

do you? Let's think about what you would prefer, because I know some people are the school of thought of like you say it like I'm not attracted to you, or I'm not into you, or like I think this is whatever, And some people are of the school of thought of like, well you let that shit fade. I love learning some shit. Slowly die, That's my favorite thing because when it happens to you when somebody slowly, Like do you prefer that from other people? For slowly die?

What interesting? I rather you tell me you hate me? Please tell me you just hate me. First of all, I'm new to the streets really right, uh huh, So I'm not looking forward to like that. Yeah, I know it's going to come oddly enough, though, I've been attracting women lately too, and that's been interesting for me. And I'm like, got you gotcha love, I'm like, am I pan? What is happening? Yes? Because have you wanted to reciprocate absolutely, like, oh,

you're on a whole journey. You know, it's a whole band, it's a whole thing happens. Only only thing that's not happening is my bottom. Yeah, sure not, I'm just not interested baby steps. You might and maybe not. And I know that everybody says like, you know you have that one boy that can change, and I do they believe in that. I'm sure that I'm going to come across a man that is going to make me feel very

comfortable and probably get his life. I used to just be a bottom and then I met somebody and I was like, no, you need to use your Yeah, I'm sure somebody was like, why is your dick so big? And why are we not using that? So and so I do know that there's a possibility for me to get into bottomy one day, but like, I'm just not a rush, like of course I've tried it. Of course I've done it, broken into sweats, had a full panic,

attacked the shock. If you not, if you listen when I say, bottoms run the world, and I mean this with my chest, Bottoms run the world. And I don't care what the tops think that they're like in control you. No, maybe bottoms literally run it, run it. You're from the top to the bottom, like the right bottom will show you that trying to. I can be submissive, but maybe I'm actually dominant. You can be domb as a bottom. I don't think people understand I'm like power bottom. Honey,

I've had somebody change, like you fucked me? Ha, whoa watch me squad on that dig man. I'm very much like after that, what do you do you need anything? As you should? Lights that every top listening as you should when that bottom gives you what they give? What do you need from me? After that period? Like do you want to go for dinner? Do you like me? I am? I won't say I think I am a good host, though yes I'm a beautiful host, like to the point where you think I'm your boyfriend, and you know,

I have a ride with that. But I vibe with that, and I think that that I wish that more. I wish that that was actually the standard. Yeah, that we could allow each other to give boyfriend girlfriend day friend vines or what we're classifying as that, which is just honestly kindness is not the tea just being nice nice, It's really just being considerate, yeh, nice considered respectful. That's literally, that's literally is really that simple? That should be the

stand I don't. But also, like I said, back to the point of I don't just throw dick on anybody. And I realized, I think the reason why I have had the like spontaneous like gym sex, yeah, is because I'm so picky. Of course, I'm so like, you can be bomb ass sexy, and I'm like, but I kind of want to get to know you too. And so my friend told me a little my friend may be a what is it a psycho sexual or something. It

was a it was a term for it. Actually that where you need to get to know somebody be for you have to like we want to fuck that, yes, And I was like, I think that's also I think that's alcial classified and we can double check dummy sexual, dummy romantic, Like you have to know you're attracted to the person's aora are and that's what it is to get to know them that turns me on. Like the physical I bro, I can I can probably do for a play with anybody, sure that sucking and licking and

any when now. We could do it that all day long. But like me, actually fucking you is like that's a big deal for me, even as a top, like I know as tops are like, bitch, I just just want to fuck, and I appreciate that. I love. I want to be a fuck nigga so bad. I really do, I really really do. I wanted to come out of me somewhere, but it's I'm such a lover boy. I'm honestly really a sweet boy. And I hate that song.

Can I can? I two things? One like, don't hate it because I think that that was what actually uh stunted my hope. Growth was trying to be like quote unquote the other game, which is like I can fuck right now hearing that. But once I accepted that I'm actually much more emotional and much more of a lover, it just made sex better because it's like, Okay, I'm okay that I'm a little picky, like I can't connect with you one or that I need to know how you make out before we like that's like it's if

that's your thing, that's your that's my thing, man. I want to do the Don't get me wrong, I do like I want to go to like a circuit party and go to the lash room and do the do the damn come on them. I've seen it, and I'm like, that's cool. But I've learned that I can't do the dark room if I don't have emotional connection outside of that.

So it's like it's it's the emotional connections that I have with other people, including my my husband and boyfriend outside of the dark room that allows me to go in the dark room having a good time. But when I'm not feeling connected outside, then like the dark room is actually a tortuous place, right, Okay, So okay, I

don't feel so alone. I definitely feel as though I know for a fact, and I've been trying to, like I've been battling it, honestly, and it kind of been almost an insecurity of mine where I felt as though, like, am I not gay enough? Like I kind of envy the boys that could just like be hot, fuck on somebody random and just like let them be. I think that's hot. By the way, I don't think that's a shame.

I think that's sexiest shit. However, Comma, I'm mad that I am not that kind of person, because one I don't really trust people in my personal space like that. And I honestly just feel like I'm a treat. I feel like I am a really I'm an experience. I feel like I know that there's nobody else like me. So I feel as though when I'm giving you this much power, because when you do have sex, you're giving power. Well it's you're you're giving, you're taking. It's a mutual.

Absolutely hopefully it should be. Yeah, And so I really do. I have realized that one I do like the Cat and Mouse. Yeah, like the Chase. Fuck, oh my god. I love boys that like come over my house, probably came over something sexy, came over in a jock or something like intentionally like cleaned out like you I could do, I could fuck you right now. But they they are probably just like probably sit on my face or like they're probably like we'll probably like talk all night and

they on my face or something, and that's all I'll get. Yes, I that does it for me. That does it? So I noticed, like I love that cat and that Cat and Mouse, that Chase that like not like desperation Chase, not like but just ain't texting me. It's a four place, I guess that's what it is. It a four play, it's something because but I feel like when we finally

crossed that bridge, like it's going to be magical. Can I say for anyone listening, four play is not just about like you know, eating ass and sucking dick or yea four play is. It's the texting, it's the eyes across the room, it's the eyes of the gym. It's like four plays starts the minute sex ends, like the minute that sex ends. Four plays and beginning. That's very true because even after sex, that it is a vibe or something is good. Yeah, there's a different like you

text different, you talk different. You almost can't wait to see them again. Absolutely, So like I think I like that for and after and I think I will say this is probably why. I think what you've actually revealed is the lover boy in you who is picky and

who wants whatever. I think the reason that that bottom didn't work out for you because it's probably against you were just like I'm trying to get my dick what which is probably not your actual you ate that you just right, that's exactly that's maybe your lover boy, because like I said, and man, mind you if I'm not mistaken. I think he's in a relationship, but they're open, okaything like that, And I was always I was like, are

you all okay? I was like, if I fuck you, your husbands gonna you're gonna know your hole is not gonna go turn you around to say so, I'm just telling all my business, but exactly in Europe, going to see if I'm gonna have like my random spare of the moment thing, but you know what I mean, like especially if the spare of the moment, like if you if you hit up not to pull a grinder grinder sponsored me. I'm not in By the way, I haven't been on since my have I been like single almost

three months. Yeah, I haven't been on any apps or anything yet. Well, listen, whenever I travel, I do pay for the unlimited grind. That makes sense. When I wish I should do that, and you're going abroad like for like a month of that unlimited, let me go ahead and get you get your and the words literally get your dick web, get your dick web. But also with this thing I'll say about especially like Europe, they are

so they're lover boys as well. So there's a lot more because I can't just do one person on the entire time I'm there. I can. I love that, I love a vacation. I love vacation like this is once we lieve. I know I probably wants peak to me again. However, this these two weeks, I'm here, the dinners, the lunches, the sex. I think I would if I were to get a relationship like my next relationship. I don't even know when that will be, and I'm not waiting on it, but like I will say that I will be open

to like an open relationship. Sure in the sense of I love this boy, but like we love other people, yes, and so like I don't know if I would like take somebody in though, sure, but like as far as like having a boyfriend, or like having a consistent fuck buddy, or like with my partner, that sounds fun. Start a babe. You can start off with just the threesome, just the dark rooms, and then and have conversations, open conversation with your partner and then build it from there. Yeah, would

you guys ever swap partners or ship? Would I ever like or would you have like one big ORGI or something like? Well, one I would love to. It is a dream of mine. It will happened one day. I would love to curate the most luxurious sex party. I will be there. Yes, honey, I want to go to one so bad I have one I once again. Okay, so my queerness, let me just put this prepos because I'm not like I didn't come out for I didn't

come out because of boys or sex. I came out because I wanted to wear heels at my talent show. So good answer, good answer. Yeah, so my queer story is a little different. I came out because I wanted to dance and be in heels. Yeah, I won the talent show, but like I wanted to be my authentic

self and I didn't want people to ask me. And I was like, okay, I like niggas, like we're moving on, moving on, and you know, so like I didn't in high school, like of course I fucked around a little bit, but like I didn't like take it there because I didn't give a shit. And also I was focused on the performing arts of it all. And I had a girlfriend, and I had two girlfriends in high school. So by the time I got to college, I was fucking on.

I had a boyfriend in college. That was my first boyfriend in my entire life in college and we were together for like two years off and on, and that was like my first like legit bottoming era. Okay, this is the bottoming era. This a lot. So I never really had like out of that relationship, like I you know, single for like three years when I moved to LA. And when I moved to LA, like I didn't even I had some fun, but like nothing crazy, Like I didn't do anything insane, like just hook up off app

or something. Nothing crazy. And so like I come to now being thirty out of another relationship. I've only had two in my entire life, so that there's this second one, I'm now realizing that I have a lot of catching up to do. I have not had the like sex

party experience. I've had a bath house experience. I haven't had like an orgy experience, these things that I like really am interested in, like I've never been there, but like I'm so here to try it, like I love the artist like I love One thing I've learned about myself too is that I could also be aside, oh work, which side is somebody who doesn't necessarily want penetration. Yeah, so it's all other things about petration, which I love.

I absolutely I love frauding. Yeah, I love like just being like in a room full of people jacking off, like I haven't done it, but I would love to do it. Yes, that seems very very hot to me. Can I say that you're not catching up? You're right on time? Oh? Thank you? Absolutely right. My first sex party was I'm thirty seven now. It was like thirty four sad okay, okay, okay, okay, journey it just started, okay.

I just felt like so many people and had this life and I'm like, bitch, some of the people, you know, this is the thing. Some people have a fucking forever. You know. God, it's just you know, and we bound out to you. Yeah, we loved you. Now. I love those Honestly. Let me tell you something, I never shame nobody because let me tell you something, I love sexual positive people. Of course, if you're not hurting anybody at least, if you're doing it safely and you're protecting yourself, you're

protecting it. The word bitch, go go off like that shit is so hot to me. I just I'm not that person. However, I respect the community. But you're expanded, you know what I mean? Beautiful And I do love that I'm expanding my queerness. Now. I am now currently off at the day I'm recording this podcast. I am going through this new journey if even just I've lost over one hundred and like twenty pounds, oh my god. So like when I first moved to out, I was

like almost four hundred pounds, believe it or not. Wow, And so it has been a ernie and I feel like I'm finally getting to this new self. And because of that, I am exploring every fantasy I've ever had, Like my biggest, biggest fantasy, like number one is to I want two guys or two guys one girl so bad. So I need you to understand like that is like if I ever find a girl and a guy that's down, it's happening. Absolutely, I absolutely just need to make that happen,

and I know that it will happen. Absolutely want to gag. Here here's my polyamazed relationship. Big, give me a guy and a girl. Fab, that's fab. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, so fab, You're I could do it? You lit up on that could be? But I don't. I don't identify as by either though. So that's the labels here cases. The labels are for you, not for them, Okay, you know what I'm saying. I'm like, I don't even

know what I would label myself as. Okay, I think I think for us, labels are like, this is how I can identify, so I can like find my community whatever. But in actuality, because we continue to build new labels because the human experience is so bad and it's changing and it's changing, and I think people are more open about it changing, yes, you know what I mean, And like that used to be in the closet are now coming out, so like the norms that were always there

are now becoming the general norms. Yes, And so I do feel as though I can have a girlfriend a boyfriend if I wanted to, and still be like, yeah, I love being a fag. But you know what I mean, it's one of my I don't know. That's the beauty of queerness. It's this beautiful umbrella that I think just means fuck the system, absolutely absolutely, and I think that's what I love in general. That's why I just always just identify as queer anyway, because I'm just like, yeah,

I could, because I could fuck a trans man. I love them. I think they're one of the most beautiful people in the world and I find it very very And I love my trans girls too, because I've had some trans girls hit up on me and I'd be like, girl, miss lady, missing, got a back down, girl, girl, I'll have my girlfriend now, don't play with me. And so you know, I'm like I said, I just love I

love love, I love people. And I think that I'm just realizing that as I'm growing older and I'm learning more about my sexual identity, I really am not as simple as I thought it was and just life and just dick an asshole. I'm like, actually I could, I could get down with a couple of things. Actually I'm not as simple as I thought I was. I think that that is that's most important. Put that on merch. Yeah, because you're not. You're not as simple. You're as vast

and as expansive and magical as the universe itself. Absolutely what I'm saying. Absolutely, I love that. I'm so happy that you came. I'm very happy, this was this, this is that much need Kiki. I'm leaving feeling lighter and happier and absolutely and not like I said, I know, I'm you've definitely as you've always been doing with messy mondays, but you've definitely made me feel more comfortable in the things that I thought were either left behind or weird

or like underdeveloped. Yeah, and I know there's a lot of other queer people out there that maybe feel the exact same way as me, that are like they love set culture but like are not in it like that because they don't really identify with it, but like appreciate it, right, Yeah, and that is who I am, And I guess that's I used to think that wasn't cool because I thought

like to be queer was to be sex positive. Sure, I used to think that was like the equal like it had to be, had to be And it's like, actually, no, Like if you are, don't, if you just like people and you want to get to know people, it's that's just that's your that's your thing. Very queerness goes beyond who you're fucking. And I think that what queerness really

is is how do you want to fuck? You know, like like not how you were taught or how psighty is, how do you think you think, but like, how do you and how do your partners want to play with each other and giving each other space to do that. I really I do realize though I do have quite advantage though because I am a lover boy. I hate to say this cause I'm giving away my game a little bit, But what I've realized is that boys get a little bit more obsessed with me than usual. Yeah,

because then I used to the boy. Yeah, they're not a lot of love boys out there, and you don't use as like a hookup. You you actually give a fuck. I will let you use me more. Oh. I feel like absolutely, I've seen that. I've seen the switch. I've seen I've seen it like go from like oh, let's just do a little something to like wait, I need tode me. And I was like, all right, so but it's nice to hear that that is that that's who I am, and that's that's what that's what You're fine.

I'm not. I'm not missing nothing out on not just talking about an yourself exactly exactly right. Thank you for being here, thank you for having me. Well you already know that we are hoes here, but hose with heart. So before we get out of here, let me speak

to yours. When Zach said I'm not as simple as I thought I was, I could like cry at that, because I do think that that is my hope for everyone listening, and my hope for every human is to realize that you're not as simple as you think you are, or as the world might lead you to believe you are. I think that we're just all such expansive and nuanced individuals who are not meant to fit in these boxes of this thing and that thing. And you can do

that and you can't. Like I think that the for me at least, and what I hope for you as well, is that the purpose of this life is to explore, is to be curious, is to expand, is to try things, is to learn about yourself. Like otherwise, whatever the fuck are we doing here? You know, to build your own blueprint.

And so if there's one thing that you leave here with, which I'm sure there are so many things you can leave here with, but I hope you remember that you are not simple, that you are not a simple person, that there are so many complexities to you that even you have to discover. And I hope that you spend the rest of your life, attempting to discover it and holding on to whatever lessons are value, letting go whatever is unnecessary. But don't sell yourself short. Don't undercut yourself.

You are a beautiful masterpiece, a tapestry of complexities that deserves to be explored. All right, well, I gotta get out of here. You can find Zach on Instagram at Zach Campbell that's Zach with an eighth honey, or on his YouTube channel also called Zach Campbell. You can find me on Instagram at Brandon Kyle Goodman. Find the podcast at tell Me Something Messy, also on Instagram. You can also find us on TikTok at Brandon Kagod. You can

also join the community on the Messy Monday's substack. When you subscribe, you'll get weekly posts recommendations all about sex and self. I also want to hear from you, so send your topic ideas, submissions, stories, guest ideas to tell Me Something Messy at gmail dot com or babe, you could call us at six six nine sixty nine Messy. That's six sixty nine six nine six three seven seven nine For you hose who can't space and don't forget to rate, review and share this podcast with all your

hoe and aspiring hoe friends. And don't forget that we have our merch Drop, Our MESSI Merch Drop currently running on until November tenth at Brandon Caallgodman dot com backslash merch All right, I think that's everything. Until next time, ask about the politics of that dick before you make it spit, make sure they eat the kitty before they beat the kitty before flocational cucation communication. And in case you haven't heard it yet, today you are so deeply loved.

I love you bye. Thank you so much for listening to Tell Me Something Messy. If you all enjoyed the show, send me episode to someone else who might like it. Tell Me Something Messy was executive produced by Ali Perry, Gabrielle Collins and Yours Truly. Our producer and editor is Vince Dejohnny. Tell Me Something Messy is proud to be a part of the Outspoken Network from iHeart Podcasts, available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever where you get your podcasts. M