Welcome to seeing Girl Talking, Girl Talk. I'm Susie Cota Vancota, and this week we are X Men Evolutions.
In my brand new apartment, recording in person for the first time in quite a while five years.
I think Jesus, we may sound a little different. I am sitting at the end of a long table from Frank. So this is a heated debate about whether there is a butt shot in the beginning of this X Men show or not.
I mean, everybody's hot for Woverine, like every animator who writes him. There's that one scene where him and Nightcrawler definitely boned down.
Nightcrawler is like a team in this thing.
During the comics. Okay, it's like when Nightcrawler is like OBM, super religious but also love to.
Get down, Okay, and they're of like a comparable See we fall into the Edward Collin issue here, where Wolverine's like eighty bazillion years old.
He's at least two hundred.
Yeah.
So X Men Evolutions not to be confused with X Men ninety seven, which did happen when I had to ask Dill to take pictures of my notes today and send them to me because I took copious notes and then I left them at home. He was like, didn't you guys already watch that? I was like, that was X Men ninety seven. We watched X Men Evolutions, which apparently is his X Men. He had the chance to watch cartoons with me last night and he chose not to.
Because he's doing work. But he's like, X.
Men Evolutions is my favorite. So just no, dear listener who asked for more Dill. We could have had him on this episode, but he's too dedicated to his craft.
Yeah, you gotta give it to him. The man's the man works hard and he plays hard.
I don't like that.
I don't like that. It makes them sound like a finance bro. He's just doing eight balls on the weekend, which is not what he is doing. He's usually meal prepping and not in like the bro way. It's like he makes chicken stock and stuff. It's I come home and I'm like, oh no, we're gonna have more jars of like indescribable liquid in the refrigerator.
So X Men Evolutions. They are teens question Mark. They all look middle aged.
They all look middle aged, but they're teens for some reason.
Cyclopes looks like a dad who's disappointed at me.
I mean, yeah, Cyclops and Jean Gray live at the Institute for Gifted Youngsters, but they don't go to school at the Institute for Gifted Youngsters.
And they alto do not look like gifted youngsters.
On this scale of whiny cyclops, this Scott slash Cyclops is much less whiny than previous ones. I'd say, so, yeah, he's like he doesn't seem he's more agro, for sure. He's like, you want to see what happens when I take my glasses off? And he means silzapia, but he's not. I felt like X Men ninety seven. Scott is very high on the list of whiny cyclopsies Cyclops high cyclopsis, cyclopsis CCS.
Yeah, because he's just like, oh, my wife became the goblin queen. I have two wives now, which big love.
Do you know how many men on Reddit or trying to get your setup and it just happened upon you and you literally ran away, he said, I can't deal and run away.
Well, I mean, I don't think they want the exact same setup because they want trad wives.
But and not wives that can like definitely beat them up.
What they need is they want another mom, yes, because they're gross, Well you want to partner, not another parent.
Frike like really spiraled out thinking about X Men ninety seven.
Cyclops, I'm just thinking about like whiny guys on Reddito's like it's just a cook and clean it was supposed to Like you're supposed to do that too, idiot. Anyway, Frank's like, anyway, Jean Gray, like we start off at a football game that will soon be ruined by the X Men.
Of course you can. You can the way that this game is so wholly ruined.
But like, I guess it does make the news, but I feel like it's making the news for the wrong reasons.
So uh, Cyclops. Jeane is taking like she's part of the yearbook club. She's taking pictures of her maybe boyfriend Duncan, who's a football player. It's hard to tell, yeah, Gene, because Jene brings that heat to literally everyone she talks to, like everyone like male female jeans hit, like sending flirt vibes out there.
But I mean the other part is later Professor X will utilize her as sort of like a charm to like bring kitty pride. I have to say, this is one of the first things I've watched where Kitty Pride.
Has showed up.
Yeah, I mean, how come she's so much less utilized in other things?
I think because of sometimes a lot of people can't figure out how to write her powers because they are a bit of a deal breaker, like not evely deal breaker, but like, oh, we can't trap her in things.
Because she could just get they were like a little lame. I'm sorry, I thought her powers were a little lame.
I mean, and can't they like if to refer back to X Men ninety seven, can't they just put one of those power coolers on her?
Yeah? Yeah, I mean so like.
That's the thing in X Men ninety seven, And it's amazing they got anything done because everyone seemed to have arm cannons and anti power collars.
Yeah. So, well, Kitty Pride was in X Men least stand and I do not remember that, but Kitty was played by Elliott Page.
Oh okay, I do.
And he had to deal with the Juggernaut that was and that was edited in after there was this one video that somebody made of like on the drumer not bitch.
Okay, I remember that being a meme for a while.
Okay, Well, another meme that's way better that ended up in Sonic The hedgetok. Three was the meme that Shadow loves Latinas Oh my God, because like, I'll put the video in the description, but like somebody edited the audio where it's like Sonic and Shadow are fighting and Sonic's like, give me back my passport, and like Shadow like is holding his pastors, like why don't even want to go to Mexico? I just love Latina's Sonic what God? And he runs away.
The only thing I know about Shadow is he has a gun in a motorcycle.
Well that's why he's watching the Tail Novilla and he's just like, oh do you never know that she killed both of them. She's not a price to be one.
But that movie was so much better than it had any business being.
Yeah, so far my movie of twenty twenty five, You're gonna have to try really hard The Gorge, because I wanna watch you next. It's that movie with It's Miles Taylor and Anya Taylor Joy are two operatives on the opposite side of a gorge, and they are not supposed to talk to one another, but they are communicating via signs and they're also guarding a gate into Hell.
Okay, you're gonna have to sell me on that movie because that.
I'll show you the trailer. The trailer sold me on it.
I was gonna say that sounds like nonsense.
It's probably okay anyway. So Jean, like we were, Jean Gray is has her default outfit, which is pink sweater mid drift showing high wasted pants, high wasted khaki pants like but like you know, with pockets and all that jazz like Jenko's.
Like, they're not like Jenko's at all. They're fitted and pleated.
I feel like they're way bigger.
I'm gonna Jean Gray.
Is roughly seven feet tall with the proportions of this because somehow they're so high wasted, but you could still see her belly button. Yeah, and we're also introduced to Toad, a character I did not care for.
I'm looking at so many pockets on these.
Pants, who is rude and has tewed.
Yes, if you're wondering, have you seen Toad before? If you saw the first X Men movie, he's the one. Halle Berry said, too, do you know what happens to a Toad in lightning, the same thing that happens to everyone else. Then she kills him. Well, he's a straight murdercy of the lighting bolt.
I feel Okay, So I feel like.
In this show they did not know necessarily what they wanted to do with Wolverine in the first three episodes.
I'm gonna say the same thing about Storm.
I feel like both an X Men ninety seven and an X Men Evolution, Storm kind of shows up, but there's not any like shouldn't get anything to do really.
Well because the problem is like when Storm shows up, the flight's just kind of over. Yeah, storms just kind of bring ell down upon the world or helld down upon the racist.
Because like in this we see Wolverine, he's like at a roadside store reasons unknown, location unknown. He keeps calling a man who chronologically is probably younger than him but looks older than him bub and then slices off the top of a glass bottle. This is how you know this is like twenty five years old because he's buying water in glass bottles.
Drinks out of it like a glass.
The elderly man who runs the store is like completely put out about this.
Is this where Logan smells Sabertooth, No, that.
Happens at a different time. He instead just sees that there's an explosion of the school, assumes it's the kids.
Yes, which was like a safe bed because it was so Psyclops is like, I don't like bullying of frog men or toad.
Men, Okay, I don't. I also agree, I don't like bullying of anyone. But Toad was stealing.
That's okay.
This is I feel like this show Challenges is a change in US.
Challenges is us. I don't know why I can't say that set.
Of words right out the gates, because Toad is pretty unlikable.
He's stealing.
He has a weird theme song that just sounds like weird rap, like rap beats.
It sounds like they were trying to make a psa about the existence of Toad and used so like.
What do they call it?
Like copyright free music? Yes, and so Toad. Toad's whole grift is kind of cool. He hangs on the bottom of the bleachers and just pickpockets. But this is not a great plan because he's going super slow and they catch him. So then the football players in the middle of this game where they're just stomping. The other team clock toaed pickpocketing, and they're like, let's leave the field. No one will notice, including Toad the man pickpocketing to curb stomp Toad.
Yeah, and Scott Summer shows up. I think he's talking to one of his human friends and he notices that he's just been pitpocketed. He goes underneath the thing.
And he confronts the football players and they're like, get out of here, Summers. So Scott is a known annoying person and he's like, no way. So then I can't remember if it's total or one of the football players hits his glasses off and he just like zaps all of them.
Well no, hell yeah, he zapps I think dunk in. And then his optic blast also takes out a enormous propane tank that's very close to everything. There's a massive fireball, and thankfully Professer is able to cover up the damage.
Me because a cop is like interrogetting Duncan who can't remember anything, and then the cop gets his brain scrambled.
And they're like oh no, and so he saves the day.
But I have some questions about the ethics of this.
Well, this is the thing to think about is if pressor X didn't have this telepathy power, the X Men would not be able to exist. No, if he had any other power.
If you like, what's that word you used last week? Soson no, no, no, the where they're like a game ending, oh, mutant. He's an omega mutant for sure.
Yeah, And like we saw that in X Men two where he they're gonna use him to kill all mutants. Then Magneta's like, oh no, let's just do a switcher roo and you're gonna kill all the humans.
Oh my gosh, Magneta is so such a bad boy.
So okay, here's the thing, Frank, I'm going to be vulnerable for a moment. I think I might have been attracted to Magneto in X Men ninety seven. This Magneto is like a weird sort of window dweller.
He's basically just a Disney villain.
Yes, you only see his eyes.
I'm like, like, bring me a Magneto who has long flowing locks.
Is crazy, yoked up and.
Like sort of morally ambiguous in a way that makes him very mysterious.
Okay, where he's.
Like, am I good or bad? I don't know.
Look at my bus steps and I'm like I'm looking respectually.
Okay, so a few things. First, I'm just like imagining him at the gym, just being like, it's like this is so much easier with my powers. Yeah, that's a great question.
How does he get to yoke?
Does he has just lifting?
Maybe he's lifting like things up. Yeah, he has to be holding like concrete because he can't lift metal.
Because he'd be like, boo, that's me lifting a super heavy dumbbell with one figure Magneto.
And also he's running into the same problem as Poison IVY, where now they're just anti heroes. Is getting really hard to pretend they're wrong.
Yes, I mean.
That's this is what I'm saying about the moral ambiguity, where Magneto is like, yes, I hate humans, but cure me out. And we're like, I'm listening.
So he's like, cure me out and pointing to a thing that's like a big the X through humans and then you're over to his right or his left. He's like, hear me and just pointed his muscles.
Yeah, this is the same way I felt about Cable. I'm like, I'm not even sure what cable stands for, but he's gone of a Daddy's.
Cable stands for I want to kill this one mute who doomed the future. I stand for the needs of the many at weigh the needs of the lawn.
Sure sounds good, bro.
Star Trek Baby, But okay, so the X men have caused innumerable damage to the school. Yeah, and meanwhile Storm is off picking up their newest member, because right now the School for Gifted Youngsters includes Storm Fresser, X, Cyclops, and Jean Gray end of list. Yes they have now they each have an individual like guardian basically. But meanwhile, Wolverine's on his way home and Kurt shows up. Kurt Nightcrawler.
He's blue and that freaks out Cyclone because he's the parly I has been born here and only knows Jane Gray.
Yeah, I was like Cyclopes because Kurrent only has three fingers and he has like a little tail with a what.
Would you call that at the endail a little devil. It's kind of cute.
But Scott already is like kind of dubious about this, which made me dubious about Scott. But then Professor X gives, uh, what is his name?
I like had it? Night Crawler a little watch.
It like, it looks a little I'm try that looks like a little digital watch that makes him appear human.
And they more or less tell him like.
You're beautiful as you are, but just so you know, you know, you can do this, so that you can pass through different spaces without having to get hassled.
Yeah.
So, as Cyclops gives him like.
A tour of the ground because Kurt, Kurt gets pulled into, you know, one of those situations we all do. Toad shows up at the house as a spy for Mistique.
I really did not.
I'm such a ding dong did not realize it was Mistique because when she transformed out of the principle into that big scary monster, I was like, oh my god, there's a monster in the school, not thinking like, oh, it's a Mistique in her super cool outfit. So Mistique is like, Toad, if you don't want me to straight and murder you, I need you to go and figure out what's going on with Cyclops.
And he's like okay.
So then Cyclops is like, hey, the professor sends to you with cerebro. Why don't you come check out what's going on?
Yeah? Well yeah, and Toad. Like, Toad shows up like and like he's just like, I know what you are, Summer, You're just like me. I'm gonna tongue off your glass.
It was like very aggressive and.
I was just now not pumped on him. But Toad's like, I'm gonna show up anyway. And I wearing a costume. Where did I get this costume?
Was he wearing a cashion I thought it was just the same clothes.
No, he's wearing this. Like his costume looks kind of like this isn't gonna be a pool that you're probably not gonna get.
It's totally I'm sorry, too cool for that was too nerdy for you.
Come on, what Darson this is going? He looks like a toad Man from Mega Man two, Okay, like Mega Man three. I'm not sure where a toad Man showed up.
He also gets called stink Boy by Logan.
Yeah, like it's it's much like a Tom Hardy and Venom thing where you're like, oh, he probably got some bad smells on him.
He I mean, it's amazing because this is a cartoon, but Toad does look like he's stinky.
Yeah, So he gets surprised by Kurt they accidentally teleport into the danger room. Cyclops has to like basically blast his way through. Wolverine decides to threaten him, which is never a fun time again.
They like Wolverine shows up to Saunter around, shows up to sort of participate in this danger room thing, and then goes on a complete side quest. We get no backstory about why he and Sabertooth hate each other.
That's the next episode.
Frank, Sure, but he's like, I smell saber Tooth, takes off to find saber Tooth. How far away can he smell saber Tooth?
Pretty far? Saber Tooths got a musk to him.
They are definitely into each other.
And so I'm not going to fight you on this.
They're rolling around, Logan is calling saber Tooth old man.
Okay, so that a furry pillow?
Is that a furry pillow?
That's a that's the protagonist joker for PERSONA five. That's so it is a furry pellaw. He has a cat.
Okay, sorry, please continue.
I'm just gonna say this joker. I'm not gonna know.
There's no coming back from it, because.
I can fall down a rabbit hole so easily. I'm not gonna do it. I'm just gonna I'm gonna describe the percent of five you're gonna was gonna roll to the back your head.
I was gonna say, I'm just going to continue from now on to point at things in your apartment and say, is that a furry fellow?
No one can see whether it is or not.
I'm just gonna answer what it actually is. So yeah, So eventually Toe gets chased away. He wears his costume to school, like Mystique, like, you need to do better than this. You're part of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.
Now, well, she brought up a really good point.
She was like, you were in the mansion with Scott and then you left.
Yeah, and he's She's like, I'm sure the professor use your powers. He use his powers on you, so you can't remember a thing, and he just chases up and here's my thing, is mystique real quick? You could just.
Look like Scott she does later she does in the third episode.
Yeah, just walk in because apparently, well apparently first access and sensing her.
He's not sensing her.
But also I feel like if she was in the house, he would, I guess a good point, because yeah, because she is using her powers all over the place.
So I just want to also just I feel Hermiss that we haven't mentioned because we're seeing mystique. I want to just bring up one of the og greatest X Men writers, Chris Claremont. Chris Claremont was like pre Joss Whedon, Joss Whedon. Okay, So there's this whole plot line in Avengers which Miss Captain Marvel was a part of it before she was Miss Marvel and she became Captain Marvel. So Captain Marvel, like, I don't want to describe it
because it's just really not great. Something bad happens to her and the rest of the Avengers because a baby is involved. They're like, oh, everything's cool, and Chris Claremont is the only one of them to be like, no, what happened was horrifying. Miss Marvel is gonna turn against all of you, yeah, and she's gonna be like, you know what, I'm gonna hang with the X Men.
Yeah.
And that's actually how she encounters Rogue, and Rogue sucks her powers away from her and puts her in a coma, and then Rogue becomes a good guy because she's being influenced by Captain Marvel and that's how she can fly and is super strong. But Chris Claremont had a whole plot line and he pitched that they did not do where Miss Stique was in love with this other woman named Destiny and they wanted to have a kid together. So Miss Stique was going to become a man to
impregnant Destiny. That's so cool, but they're like that, the editors like this is this is like nineteen eighties where this is too far ahead for us. Chris Kinmon is like, I want some next little shit.
Yeah, sounds like it a visionary Yeah, So.
We're gonna hop into our second episode, we're gonna get two reclutes, reclutes roots. So Kitty Kitty Pride is at home asleep in her bed. She has a dream where she's falling and she phases through the floor and her parents are just like, oh my god, you're a mutant. We're just gonna not deal with this. Well, it's not as bad as an X Men two where ice Man's parents like have you tried not being im mute?
And like Iceman's like, I'm too angsty, I could.
Never and they cut the huge Ackman just holding a bit sign and says, this is a game metaphor. Do you get it? Get its a gay metaphor. Which that's why the X Men work, because it's not about like race or sexuality, it's just about the discrimination they have to face. Yes, and so oh, I forgot to say. Kurt's not sure if he In the first episode, Kurt's not sure he's gonna stay, and Cyclops is just like then he sees their big experimental plane, and Kurt is,
just like, you guys have a big experimental plane. I think I'll stay.
Yeah, I mean it's a good as reason, a good as a reason as any.
There we go. I struggled through it. Yeah, I swished through. I persevered, not.
Unless she persisted. So Kurt and Scott are going to school that day. They run into Mystique. Kurt's apparently eating burgers for breakfast almost every day, which, boy, I wish I had that metapolism back and could do that. Meanwhile, Scott's just like, I'm gonna make sure he's a good boy. Missus dark Home, which is Mystique's actual last.
Name, and Professor Xavier sends Kitty pride Go through the floor, so he brings Geen to come and woo her to the side of the gifted school, and Jean's sort of like, there's a lot of pressure and I don't know how into this I am. And the Parressa is like it's.
Gonna be fine.
Yeah. Meanwhile, Kitty Pride is just trying to live her life. Some mean girls decide to shove her in a locker and then she just phazes her way back through.
And then we get to meet the dud of all duds. Lance, yeahand stand him. Lance sucks, Frank, Why did they make Lance look so goofy when he uses his powers.
Because he's just coming into them. Uh okay, so he did exactly what Lance does. He rolls his eyes in the back of his head and he kind of holds his arms out and like shakes him a little bit. He will eventually become a good guy. He's also dressed like, what's his ass for my so called life? Jordan Jordan Kalana.
Yeah, Lance is a straight up dud. Like I know how they are trying to write him. They are trying to write him like a charming back boy.
Lance. His power stinks, he stinks. His reasoning is dumb. Lance is I'm going.
To say, operating on sort of like a very loose, too shaky.
I get it.
That was I wasn't even trying to go there, but sure that was purposeful.
Sort of hierarchy of beliefs.
Yeah, So he's telling his two he has like three cronies who he uses his powers to threaten, and like he's like, we're going to use that girl's ability to face through walls. He doesn't say it this way. He's like, she's gonna get us those midterm scores.
Their initial plan is very dumb, is they're going to go through the vents system.
It would be less obtrusive.
To just walk into the classroom when it was unoccupied. But then they realized that the ven system is alarmed, so they can't do that, and they're like, oh shocks, how are we gonna get it? So Lance looks out to where the long jump is happening. I did not go to a regular high school. I don't know if a long jump is the thing, But Kitty Pride is getting bullied, so he uses his ridiculous power to no
one notices this is happening. He ruptures the Earth on the way to the long jump, and then mounds a bunch of sand onto one of the girl bullies and Kitty Pride, and then he sort of like gives Kitty Pride a salute.
Kitty Pride somehow.
Knows what's going on, even though she didn't see his power be fully used when he was spray painting the school and I have to give it to the custodial staff. It's cleaned up almost immediately. Lance has spray painted on his face, also cleaned up. But she faces out of the locker and when he's like, oh, you're just like me, he shakes the earth, but I don't really like do anything. So the fact that the earth is rupturing, no one notices, and Kitty Pride's like, oh, it's Lance.
What's his name, quick Star Avalanche name is Dom.
Meanwhile, back at the Gifted Institute, so.
Nobody is in school today.
By the way, Kurt and Scott are coming home. Meanwhile, Wolverine is cleaning his motorcycle, singingly on the roof, like and he goes he's like saber tube.
The fact that this man is so honed into saber tooth smell. We have no idea of the history. I am not a comic book nerd, so Frank probably knows their long and storied history.
I have no idea why these two have beef and the shows like you know what's going on. I'm like going out? Why does he care?
I just think how much goof your saber tubes? Like usual outfit is because like, for some reason in this show he's wearing like a long brown coat. He really reminds me of I thought he was Craving The Hunter.
I was like, is this credent? I thought he was DC.
No, curve in the Hunter is a is Marvel and he hates he hates Spiderrin. This is saber Tooth's normal outfit. Wow.
Yeah, is that they basically put Leev Schreiber in something like that when he was Sabertooth right, No.
They only dressed to leave Schreiber and like black this is this is leave driver.
He looks like Logan there, Yeah, that's that's kind of the whole thing.
Saber Toob is like, I'm the worst you. They could have done the X program thing to me and give me ad amantium.
Okay, why did he travel all this distance to find Logan?
Because much like a lot of people, he just hates Logan.
People need hobbies.
Logan has a lot of people that just straight up hate his guts.
Why does Logan care?
Like Frank, I don't understand any of their motivations.
It's just like a blood feud they've had for years.
So they're like would my cats tussle at night where they're just like on board, one smacks the other and then all of a sudden they're running around.
You know that Robert De Niro Semester Saloon movie, like where they're both boxers and they said.
The grudge grudge match.
Like they have a big fight. That's kind of it. They're just old men punching each other in the face. Anyway, it's very embarrassing. While back at Kitty Pride, she Jean Gray's like, I'm just like you look, I have telekinesis and telepathy, and Kitty Pride's like, what runs away?
Yeah, I mean they're asking a lot of her.
I feel like, even though it seems the way they have Kitty Pride behave seems ridiculous, I also feel like it's realistic and that's how I would be or I would just.
Be like, oh no, because like the way Jean Gray decides to sort of bring in Kitty ford Is by like telekinesis sing a mask around and Kitty Friends like, I am not into this Like it would have.
It would have been as funn as she yelled you're a witch and runs away.
Well yeah, because then Jean's like, I'm in your head, you believe me.
And Kitty Friend's like, what the fuck?
Okay, I just want to out there, and one and in one continuity, Jean Gray says to Spider Man like, you know, I'm really glad to meet you. You're one of the first guys I've ever talked to who hasn't imagined me naked. And then he goes, She goes until now, and I'm like, that's not his fault. Yes, don't think of pink Elephants. Well, the first thing you do Pink Elephants is like, that's the ultimate It comics only gave us all, like the best thing that gives the males morales.
The rest of it is just trash for the most part.
Yes, it's not. That's not fair.
Yeah, so the Ultimate comics are so edgy?
Do you not care for a genius?
Yeah? So, uh, Wolverine gets angry because Scott and Kirk basically stop him from fighting Saber too.
Well, they really do get in the way because Logan chops Sabertooth's motorcycle in half somehow, and then it ends up him and Logan and Sabertooth are like throwing cars at each other. It is patently ridiculous because.
They can't use their claws on one another, like we can't get Wolverine all bloody. Oh. He also has a very dramatic like suit up.
And then Logan is wearing sort of like a French cut suit where it's like cut very dramatically in towards his biceps or like his pecks and his biceps are all showing. But they're throwing cars all over the place. And then Scott's car gets crushed by a motorcycle and he's like, oh man, these two weirdos are fighting. What did you think was going to happen? Did you think your car was not going to be crushed?
Yeah? I hate this note that says when we have muting powers, we wear pink.
Oh.
I think it's both Kitty Pride and Jean Gray are both wearing pink. Kitty Pride's normal outfa is like a cardigan that's button at the top button and a yellow shirt and she's wearing capri pants. So oh and I also have in my notes it's Kitty's no snitch. And because like the bullies are like like they're like what happened Pride, She's like nothing's looking strongly at the bullies. And also a third point, Lance says, you can run, but you can't high because I'm going to rock your world.
It's a really dumb but it's a really chilling line.
Yeah.
So, and like Lance threatens Jean Gray, and I'm just like, dude, she will close your wing pipe. Jean Gray like didn't need the Phoenix force to turn her into like a mass murder.
So what Lance does is like pretty awful. He brings the whole building, the theater arts building. Why they were stealing a test in the theater arts building is beyond my comprehension.
It's like, I need these test answers about a miss.
If you can't pass drama on your own. Well, so he brings the whole school.
Down around them.
Jeane uses her powers to protect both Kitty Pride and Kitty Pride's parents. Obviously, her parents are brought up were to the side of logic and They're like, we were so wrong. Amazing to hear we love to hear it. And Kitty Pride's like, okay, yeah, this makes sense, I'll join the X Men. So then and Lance runs away like a coward and a dope. Good riddance. In the third episode, we're gonna meet Rogue, who I did not know until I watched this episode last night.
A parent is a goth, okay.
A little baby goth who is the woman who was like keeping her.
Oh that that's Destiny.
Oh was very rude to her.
Yeah, was not fun. So yeah, Destiny is like Rogues at this dance, and once again the jocks are just like come home and go talk to her, go dance with her, and uh, like Rogue is where Rogue's default outfit is like a tank top a skirt and like mesh all over it. It's a good looks and gloves. And she accidentally touches the boy and she absorbs his power. His power, so his memories and his ability.
I mean, she does have a flash of how to do like some sort of blocking move.
Yeah, so uh, like she escapes, she's in the wind.
We cut to the she's in the wind.
What that means I'll explain what it means. We take what the big sale in the Wind means, just like like you're out and about, like you're afraid.
This is an old person saying. Is this a nerd saying? How does one be in the wind?
It's like something from like spy movies. Okay, Dinger, Taylor Soldial Brogue.
The funniest part is Destiny. So Destiny has to call him the Steak.
And be like, I don't know, I lost the girl and the Steke's what wrong with the Steak?
Is a very abusive boss. I think on Undercover Boss everyone would just be talking about how they don't like her. But Destiny's like, look, I did everything I could. I told her she had an allergy to people. I guess I'm not sure what the allergy thing was. And then she's like and I dressed her like that?
And I was like, yo, Destiny, is that like a slight.
Against Goss because Rogue it's the best dress of anyone on this show.
And she's like basically saying she dressed Rogue to be antisocial. I mean, meanwhile, the jocks are like, oh, mude, she's pretty, should talk to her. And then the Ruge's like, gotcha, now you're bad at pigskin.
So so, uh, like I took all your huddle powers.
I don't want to name this after dude, but no I can say I took all your huddle powers. But it callotes rogue. So had the X mansion. There's somebody breaking in and he's getting through all the danger room things. He's crawling through the vance. Guess what it's Woverine And like this is what we in the IT business called penetration tests, where it's a test defenses. Yeah, a lot of IT terms are.
Perverted, surprise, suprised. They're also Wolverine has never used a computer?
Probably not.
God, wouldn't it be so funny though?
And then you see him logging on AOL online. Oh my god, does Wolverine have glasses? I know he does canonically in logan.
But I think not at this point. Only when he gets really old.
I love when he has the readers. Yeah yet see if cartoon Wolverine has glasses? Please continue?
Okay, So he's just like maybe we should put some like some nerve gas in the vents and for sex. It's like and like ever gives him a look and he's like, okay, maybe knockout gas. I'm just like, do you want these children to be dragging bodies out of the vent contorted in their last moments?
Yes, okay, it is very funny. Apparently there's some brand of glasses called Wolverine, but they look like the readers that Logan wears in the They're like, we were part.
Of we were probably one of the greatest superheroad movies of all time. We're gonna just nail ourselves a Woverine.
Something I've also learned, Frank, Apparently there are Minion X Men.
On Pinterest. Oh wow, you.
Can buy like a little a little uh what are these called funko pops of it?
Yeah?
I know what you're again for Christmas?
So wow, Frank, did you ever foresee there would be so much crossover between Wolverine and Minions?
Now, how do you feel about that?
Frank?
I hate that.
I'm gonna flip you put this up.
Choos, So Wolverine Minions since apparently you can post anything on our figs, So.
The X Men all fly out to go find to go find Rogue. I think everybody except Professor is like, you know what, I need a weekend alone I'm gonna go to this. I need this clue. Uh, I think this.
Is This comes down to the Omega muting thing, right, Like they send Storm, but Storm's powers get taken immediately.
Yeah. So Kurt gets to fly the jet for a little bit and he's just like, I'm becoming responsible and he's like, now I'm gonna show off for Kitty Pride because Kurt's nothing. It is not a flirt. Yes, and he zaps himself outside. He then like gets nearly taken by the wind. He banfs himself back inside. That's what they call the that's the automatopia for his things, just like Snick for Wolving's clause.
Yeah, but what would a minion Wolverines clause sound like.
I've created a monster? Is that an anime fellow? I need a ferry fellow.
That's a copy of De White People and the show. So they they arrive, Rogue is looking at trophies in what another this the football boys room, and she's like, is this me looking at herself in the mirror, look at a picture of a coolie, not her back in the mirror, back at her, And then she's like, no, it's not me. I'm gonna destroy all his trophies. And then uh, Mistique shows up and she's like, I know the X Men are coming, gonna have to make her
distrustful of the X Men. So she becomes Wolverine and then like she's like, I'm the Wouverine, I'm from the X Men. I'm gonna get you, and starts making like I'm just like, I don't know if Mistique has ever met Wolverine. It's way funnier in my mind if she's just like, I'm sure Wolvery gonna make these dumb ook noises so like, and she.
Plays everyone else so seriously, like later she'll play Scott and as Cyclops and he'll say, you know, I tried to keep calm, but I couldn't.
And now you're gonna come with me.
There's no vamping and cert of like, certainly no silliness. Everyone is putting disrespect on Wolverine's name.
I mean, wouldn't you so like Roguest. Once again on the run, she eventually runs into Nightcrawler. She takes his powers. Yes, she starts baffing all over the place. She is enjoying herself. She's baffing around the cemetery She's like, I'm in my natural habitat. Kitty will like it, takes Kurt in her arms, looks the paieta.
I didn't. It's the the pieta.
You're trying to say, yeah, just crater and Kurt's bought it and also trying to force rice and seafood into his mouth.
I was like, a delicious pett.
That's that's a good Friday night. Oh no, they can't be Fridays. Catolics can't eat.
No, you can't fishes.
Okay, oh okay, right, that's why the fish is this? Okay, yeah, no, no that I watched The Foods That Made America. I know.
I just think that's so funny that you're like, right, okay, quote of reference.
That's why.
I recommend Next Men Evolution. I also recommend The Foods That Made America because, like they have, it's some of the funniest reenactments like Roy Krock and the watch MC call it yeah, the one he's played by Mike Keen.
I forgot what the name of that movie is, but like the guy that got to play him, and The Foods that Made America is like, this could look be a wrestler and this is one moment where he sees the flay and he like takes a bite of it and he's like, yes, this is good, but it's missing something. And he dramatically takes a slice of cheese and puts it on the fish and they give it such an orchestral head John dun and I'm like, the fish is born to let Catholics will eat a McDonald's on Fridays.
It's so funny.
I saw a very serious play about translators during World War Two and one of the actors in it had been in Foods That Made America and I think he was in like the Twinkie episode or like the Devil Dog episode or something. And also he had played Johnny Knoxville in some other History.
Channel show, and I was like, what a resume.
So Rogue is still on the run. Now she's getting attacked by Storm, but like Missique, can only look like the other X men, she doesn't have their powers. So she whips like a little explosive above Kitty Pride's edge like I am Stole, I'm gonna get you, And I feel so bad for Rogue. In this episode, she's terrified. Jean Gray is there once again trying her best to help, and it's.
Not not helping.
Yeah. Eventually we get to near some power lines and one thing leads to another. Rogue takes Storm's powers and she starts floating up into the air and it's just like oh.
Shit, and they're like, oh boy, she has these powers. She doesn't know how to control them. I don't think this is gonna end.
Well.
Yeah, Storm has fallen into some water, so like Psyclopes is like getting in because there's some power lines. He picks up Storm. Jean Gray then lifts everyone out of the water. Why it couldn't here, she just lifts Storm alone. It'll probably be a lot less thing on her mind. But you know, these are kids. These are children's child's oldiers at the X men R. So they eventually wrote Dance Away and she ends up at this at the same school as as all the people who will terrorized her.
But now she's under the sway of mystique. Who is I'm not sure if we mentioned she's the principal of the school.
I mentioned that she transforms into a monster at some point.
Yeah, and but yes, she's the principal. She's very evil. So it's lot of kids. Yeah, and like what I really could have done. I mean, we're gathering everybody in this one school. Eventually, like we're gonna get Quicksilver, one of Magneto's kids. He's gonna be running around, He's going to join the brother out of Evil mutans. Eventually we get Spike, another mutant who can like produce these like bony spikes out of his arms and he loves skateboarding.
Sent similar to Wolverine.
But okay, uh, and like that's all like our main cast, and that that will hold us through the first season. And then the second season they got more money, so they got ever more voice actors. Yeah, and then it just the casters explodes. We got we got Boom Boom, we got Magma, we got I think Scarletich at one point, we got Jubilee, we got mister multiple Man. We're gonna get X Men all over the place. And I want to take our last few minutes and describe and one
of the saddest X Men name Forget Me Not. His power is one of the worst powers because he can never have friends because the minute you don't see Forget Me Not, you forget about him.
That is so sad. Why would they do that?
He he like he is always there and like he'll be like a cyclops. I found out this information by Magneto. It's like, thanks forgetting me not help. Oh what's that, Jubilee? Were you?
Oh no, it's just like it's so tragic, no wonder, he's not like one of the canon ones.
Yeah, I mean, and they did. I'm trying to get some of my favorite X Men plot lines. There's a really good plot line, the Utopia plot line. Okay, where there I might mention before they're on an island outside of San Francisco.
And yes you did.
And at one point, like they're screening people who want to be on the island and there's a series of psychic clones called the Stepford Cuckoos, and they point at one book and they're like, he's not immune, he's just in blue body paint.
I mean, how many people would try that rift?
I mean probably a lot.
Yeah, Frig's like got me in.
Yah, then let's see it, like you also got Jubilee at one point becomes a vampire.
They were really trying some things.
I mean it like if you look back at like so in the comics, they also talk about Kurt's powers, like Kurt's Dad is a demon and you know, and he when he bams, he's not just like here and there, he's actually like appearing in hell. He runs like a few meters ahead and then he reappears like it just like Scott's optic blasts are not just energy, they are he opens up at his anguish Yeah, he opens up
a portal to another dimension that's full of kinetic energy. Okay, So like when when he hits you, it's not you're getting burned, it's like you need punched over and over again. So the fans have called it opening up a dimension, opening up the punch dimension. The Danger Room is a mutant. The Danger Room gets comes to life and is its own thing.
Okay.
Uh do you did you see Deadpool Wolverine?
No?
Okay, So the main batguy that is Professor X is twin sister Cassandra Nova. She's Paul just like russa X cool, but she's like evil okay, and she like changes all the X men's minds, so like she turns beast feral and she turned like reverts Wolverine to the boy he was when he was first like when he was a little kid, you know, back in like the eighteen eighties or whatever, wo or eighteen sixties he fought in the Civil War. Yeah, and he's just like, oh, like, I'm
the best at what I do. And he's making those little papermen who are all like holding hands. And then like he away from the beast who's chasing him, and like a beer, Like he runs into a fridge, a beer hits in the head. He looks at he's remembers who he is. He might have also invented beer.
Okay, how did they bring him back from the dead?
I mean that's just X Men die all the time. Oh my god. Okay, Like in the last storyline they were just had a resurrection machine. Yeah. Oh and then after that plot line, there's another plot line where the X Men are abducted, okay, and by this group of aliens and that like Cyclops is like, you're just to become the world breaker. Yeah, and we're gonna shoot this bullet and it's just gonna keep hitting planets, okay, because
we want to showcase has how strong we are. So Kitty Pride goes into the bullet is just keeping the bullet phased constantly and like but now just gone. She's flying through space, just stuck in this thing by herself. And actually when Magneto shows up at Utopia, he brings her back. Oh and like Neilly kills him because you know he's older, but he's also just as yoked.
Okay, but don't worry. He's like what is his name?
J K.
Simmons, Like, oh, you know who else is a mutant?
Nay more.
Okay, I think this is a great time.
That ends my month. Thank you for joining me on X Men month. I recommend almost anything x Men except for new Muns. New Muons miss the mark too much. Yeah, it's a depressing look into the void.
For uh the first week of my birthday month, we are going to do Turtles all the Way.
Down Turtle Oh okay, yeah, is that a John Green thing?
It's yes, a book and then a movie.
Okay, all right. Uh see, I always love.
Like when we swatches there's yeah, they're trying to solve the mystery, not like official salutes. They're not Nancy jew sutes. Their situation yours is gonna be teens loose. No, I'm saying that this movie is teen Okay.
Yeah, I love how like I'm always just like like, oh, it's my mom let's watch some Corteens. She's like, I'm gonna get some hard any dramas in here.
This looks kind of like a comedy drama. I watched half of it. I don't know how it ends.
I really hope it doesn't. Like just take the John Green dramatic nose. Jove.
Yes, agreed.
If you'd like to write us, you can write us at Real teen Girls Talk at gmail dot com. We have an Instagram that Frank moderates.
I have a website from my writings Franklincota dot com. And guess what, I hope I can make it through my other podcast while review Decrossing with my buddy Donnie is back every other week, new.
Episode, and until next week.
I'm Susie Coda, my phone Coda, Team Coda