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to connect with young talent every day. Create your free profile with Talo. That's t a l l O. Visit talo dot com slash teen girl Talk to get started. Welcome to teen Girl Talk Jean girl Talk. I'm Czikoda I'm Franklin Coda, and this week, with much adulation and much expectation, we are returning to Forts Washington in Twilight Data. I'mlike our original episode, We're not just going to talk pretentiously about it. We're actually going to talk
about how good Twilight is. I don't remember how long ago did we initially cover Twilight. That was like the fifth episode. Oh my gosh, so five over five years ago. Yeah, we were. We were just like everybody knows the story of Twilight. We're just gonna talk about it as a cultural zeke yeast ze geist zegeist. What a mistake that was because I um got to watch this movie with still a person who has not seen this movie
before. My excitement was boundless. I felt like I had to point out all of the important milestones during the film while we watched it, where I was like, and see people have a lot of questions about how Bella is shaking that catchup like that kind of minute show. Well, what's funny is I do remember this distinctly. You are not enthused on it, like five years ago. You're like, I could only watch this with the riff tracks on. Yeah, it's funny how that circled around. I really think it's
like a time thing where I don't know. I mean, I was not in like an amazing place five years ago, so I think that, I mean, it's closer to six, right, Yeah, because if it was our fifth episode and we started this in twenty seventeen, which seems crazy, it's a long ago. Yeah. I was just like a cranky person, and now I just love it. I love it for the camp I love it for the fact that it's so familiar because I have seen this movie so many times, and when I saw it back in two thousand and eight,
I loved it. I like, I don't know if I talked about this on our original episode. I doubt what I did, because I kind of just remembered it recently. When the movie came out, I bought an Edward pillowcase, like from Hot Topic, and I was living with a boyfriend at the time. He's like, please don't put that on the bed. I was like, nope, Edward wins like, you will be sleeping in a bed that has a pillowcase is a huge picture of Robert Patton's face on it.
Like, I'm not sure why I was so cranky about it. Six years ago. I was probably cranky about most things. But the other thing is I saw Mafia Mama last week, I think, which was directed by the same director as Twilight, and I feel I didn't love that movie. It was very violent, But I think that Catherine Hardwick is a very good director, like I think she if she likes her like apparently she was very into Twilight, And the reason she didn't move on to the next movies is
they the studio wasn't willing to give her the time. She was like, look, if you want these done right, this is the time I need to get them done right. And the studio was like, Nope, this is cash cow. We don't give a fuck about doing it right. And she left the project. And I think you can really see the difference between the films that she was involved with and the ones where she wasn't, because the later films, I think you kind of convey that they not as much
care was given. Like the point where Edward rolls the apple up and is holding it in his hands. I was like, Jill, that's the cover of the first book. I was like, that's purposeful. So I did now in my older age, at the end of my life. I can't really appreciate Twilight. Um, I don't know how how did this watch feel for you? It honestly did. I thought about putting on the Riff tracks, but I was like, no, like, I I'm going to watch this straight. Um. I mean, the thing is, I've watched the
riff tracks too so much. I like remember the jokes from certain scenes. Yeah. Um. The big thing for me is just like, you know, still have a huge crush on Alice Colin. Of course her Wig, so much Wig work in this movie. I'm still like, why are Emman and Jacob here? There's just kind of nothing right now. Um, Emmon is amazing. He is the man who taught me that the best way to go to school is standing up in the back of a jeef. Why when you're in a car would you want to sit in a car when you could
stand it and get bugs in your teeth. I'll get a lot of protein from these bugs, really helping my guns. It's gonna help me get a pump later. Like thinking about that. I mean, I even now when I see it, I'm like, that's pretty cool standing in a car,
But it's not what it's like, not a comfortable way to. I have so many thoughts about this movie, which is so funny because again I've seen it so many times, but now i'm my whatever watch I'm like, they need a lot of hair decisions, Like I feel like the hair department was very busy in this film. Um yeah, that's the like. Okay, well just one a quick tangent about Timoonan Poomba. Okay, great. I'm just like I was thinking about Tomoro Poomba the other day. Um, and
I'm just like they should be jacked as hell. All they eat is bugs. Bugs are pure protein. Yeah, but also they lie around a lot, because that's fair. But anyway, well, like, um, and the thing is like with you know, watching this now in retrospect, I'm
just like man Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. I think like everybody derided their acting, but you know, I feel like now that I know more about what, I'm like, No, they were just playing these roles like It's it's not they're acting with bad It's just like Edward and Bella are awkward as fuck, which I think is better for um, it's better like for these
two teams. Um. Though, I do feel like the one thing I in retrospect, I do are with this movie, and since we've been doing this podcast is I do think these movies are kind of the beginning of the affluence like love like Romantic Story where it's basically like you know, Edwards, like I'm turribout rich and I can give you this card, and I give you all these things, and we can do all these things because I'm turribot rich, because I'm old as hell, because I'm a vampire, yeah,
which is something that continues throughout Like, um, you know a lot of these teen movies we've watched where it's just like this rich dude, is it like you know, well the After series where it's just yeah, which was Twilight fan fiction, yeah, which is crazy when you think about it, that like everybody has Twilight jokes and whatever. But this like it's even as I say it, I'm like, it sounds ridiculous. I sound ridiculous.
Twilight was a cultural shift, and I mean, I think that's the other part that's hard to see, like because I'm trying to think of the timeline of even the fifty Shades movie. So I think the last fifty Shades movie came out in like twenty eighteen, So last time we watched Twilight, we were still like smack dab in the reverberation of Twilight, like all five movies
had come out. Midnight's Sun. I know it got a delayed release because Stephanie Myers was like pretty pissed that it had gotten leaked, and she was like, guys, come on, like, you know, it's what even And she didn't need the money, so she was kind of like, what's the point of me even releasing this? You guys read it before it was
ready, which I understand being annoyed about. And then there was that Christian Gray book about his origin story that was basically like just a one to one like ripple off of Midnight Sun. Not that Christian was a fire that would make me like that series like way more. But um, I think it is very hard to quantify how much changed, you know, like even the shift to sad boys, right, like Edward Cullen is the saddest boy,
but he in this movie in like just like sort of the general. I don't know how you would say he he's the ideal, which is so funny to be just think about every time we do an early Alts movie before Twilight. You know, okay, bt um, Like, how many of those love interests are just the most unbelievable douchebags you've ever seen, Like do you remember total Chads? Well, do you remember? And I know what you did last summer when you know, hot to Trot Ryan Philippe stands on his
balcony and his dumb sunglasses and his tank top. It goes you guys look like hammered shit, and I'm like, this is what this is one of our leading men. This is what people thought was a good thing to do. I mean, can you imagine what it was like for the Ryan Phelippes of the world when um, sort of the the taste moved to sad boys. I don't think the Ryan Phelippes of the world have had ever had that
much to worry about. Even after the Swords the sad Boys, there's still a certain sect of ladies that was probably into them and dudes, yeah, and dudes and non buying your people. Yeah. Yeah. The one thing like, yeah, it's like that affluence love like I love as affluence is something that's still you know, gives me pause when I watch these movies and
I don't I know that the um Native American tribes. I've had a complicate that I represent in the book and in most movies, have a complicated relationship with Twilight. And oh yeah, that's the thing I was telling Jill about that they don't benefit at all from being featured heavily in the films and books and having their like history hijack for it. Yeah, so I don't.
I can't speak on it with any amount of expertise, so I'm not going to, but I do want, you know, I do want to put out there that we acknowledge it and like we're not one hundred percent like it's what I can do it. Oh well, that's something they did wrong. And most sure and most movies, and let's throw it out there, sports teams have also done a rock well. I think the sports team question is a little different, and I would say, like lessen the exploitive side,
more just on like the straight up racist side. Yeah, because like I you know, obviously we're not anywhere near as well and armed as I like speaking about like how accurately um they've the tribe was portrayed in the film, Like, but I mean it seems like and I don't I don't remember the later movies that while so this might change, but it seems like they're being as respectful as possible while also being exploitive, Whereas like when you talk about
a football team like the Redskins, that's just straight up growth. Like no one's trying to like pay homage or like, you know, include indigenous people on sports. They're just being gross. It's like there's no defense to just being a gross out asshole in that case. Um, if you want to support like um shows with actual Indigenous people on them, Letterkenny and Reservation Dogs are two of the best. I wanted to watch Reservation Dogs for a while.
I heard it so funny it it is, um, but like it's a bit heavy here and there, so maybe not maybe not right now, but um, I do Also the Daily Show where they talk, one of the correspondence talks to a bunch of like Redskins fans and like then brings in the Indigenous people into the like the room with them, and you can just see the visible shift of uncomfortableness from the white people. It's amazing, you know, Um, it's just phenomenal. But okay, shall we now that
we've gotten kind of heavy stuff out of the way. Shall we get into the meat of this movie. Yes, the wonder that is Twilight. Yeah. So, um, I was standing in the kitchen when the movie started, and I at this point I know the opening monologue. I can like see the footage of the deer like in my mind's eyes. Cullin's favorite part of the movie. Robert pattins, Okay, rig is it like candid that
the fictitious character Edward Cullen loves this part of the movie. He was like in the Biography of Our Lives, I love when they show the deer getting absolutely eviscerated by a victicker. Yeah. Um, so we're getting a voiceover from Bella about how if she had to choose to die, she would willingly die for someone she loves in her life, and um, this is a voice over over us like footage of a deer. Um in Everything's in kind
of blue tone. The deer is being chased through the forest and is seemingly taken down hard cut to Bella and Arizona talking about her hair brained mother and how her mom her parents divorced when she was younger. Her mom is traveling with her stepdad. He's like a pro baseball player. We will never see this man. I sort of love the decision that this man is so unimportant. They did not cast him, they did not show him. He never shows up in the film. Bella is injured by the end, like pretty
grievously or grievously injured by the end of the film. And this man, I guess just deigned to stay in Florida. You see him for two seconds when he's standing by the Carbrioler comal, ladies, we have to catch a. We have to catch a. We have a plane to catch im. Just like you left Charlie for that. I mean, we don't know who
left tomb. Did she leave Charlie, yeah, Bella says. She says later in the movie, she says like I can't stay staying here with you or something very hurtful to Charlie, and then edwards, just like your fallow could give you. And she's like, no, I said these last same thing Mom said when she left him. I think I feel like that was more about Forks, though it's still just like no, it's terrible, and Bella is doing it in service of saving her father from murderous vampires. So
you know, I guess it can be keep forgiven. There's no point where Charlie comes to know that the town is overrun by murderous vampires, right, I think towards the end he does, which, honestly, how good of the How much better were these movies? Like the Thing is like The Twilight? I always felt this room for improvement, just like how much better were these movies? A bit if they just revealed to Charlie, like, yeah, we're vampires. It's not a whole lot you can do to stop us,
but we're here for good, like like to help people. And Charlie's like okay, and just like Charlie and Carlisle loving crimes together. But then what if Charlie became a blade level vampire hunter? If you right as hell? Okay, yeah, I mean I agree. Charlie and his mustache and like a leather duster and he's doing the blade like land Post and then he's like, oh, I'm back, I'm getting too old for this. Yeah,
bell like um, So they Bella gets to Forks. It's immediately uncomfortable because Charlie's a dad and doesn't know what to talk to his teenage daughter about. He has bought her a ramshackle truck that is dropped off by Jacob and Jacob's dad. Um, oh gosh, what is Jacob's dad's name? I don't you look that up? And because I want to point out a few things, Um, I really love the Charlie, Like I love Charlie in general, but I do like the relationship between Charlie and Bella because like,
um, you know, like he's like he's a very quiet man. He's very you know in he's constantly in his own feelings, but he's constantly trying, and he he does understand that like time has passed, you know, Like this guy's like, oh do you remember I was Santa? And he's like and he's like, you know so, and so it's she was last year when she was four. I don't think she's gonna remember that. Ye,
Billy Black is the um is Jacob's dad? Yeah, And like but then Bella is like turbo pump on her truck, Like yeah, she's like she could be way shittier, Like yeah, definitely, But I was like, are we just gonna presume that Bella definitely knows how to drive stick? Oh? Charlie definitely taught her when she was nine yeah, you need this someday. Yeah. I was like, wow, this is a full choice for a team that probably is not driven that much. Like I don't think
I could drive. Uh it's like, I guess I could learn stick shift. I have no desire to, though it seems very stressful. The funny thing about the funny thing about Charlie is Charlie's living his own indie film yes by Itself, where they're like, oh, Charlie comes after Thursday too and has the same thing like since you left Bella, I'm just like poor Charlie. Bill's bragging in the kitchen about how he loves driving stick shift. You
would love to learn, Okay, I misunderstood. It probably makes less sense now why I shoot him away because I thought it was bragging. It was like, get out of here. I think your car can drive in stick I think mine. I know mine can't. I just never try because I don't know how. Yeah, I mean you can ruin the car that way. So yeah, um, so where are the five minutes of the movie. Oh, but about your Charlie indie film thing? Um, I was wondering, do you think there's like a will they won't they? With the
waitress. I think there's a will they won't they? With a lot of women in Charlie's life, thought Charlie's Charlie is just too amicable and polite to ever think that women are attracted with him when it's every woman in town. But he's actually in love with Billy Black. I mean, I'd be into it. I'm sure there's a lot of fan fiction rights the way into it. Okay, So Bella meets Jacob have great chemistry. They really do. Um. Bella meets Jacob and uh, he explains that he goes to school
in the reservation, so they won't be at school together. Bella is nervous about her first day. Uh. Her first day at school is like, oh, first, we see a man and murdered. We do not know who this man is or context for where he is. We just see him being chased and hunted down. And then Bella's first day at school, literally everyone is obsessed with her immediately and so nice to her. And Bella is shy and is not into this, but like everyone's like, oh my god,
you're amazing. I love you, Please be my friend. And Bella's like, So, when I was younger, I thought that was holly unrealistic. Now that I'm older, I'm just like, no, this makes sense for a small town. Yeah. I think at some point, Anna Kendrick's character calls her the shiny new toy. Yes, but yeah, I would say, like, you know, like for a bunch of people who probably growing up together, and like nobody comes to Forks like like, oh my
god, somebody new, and think about it. The only other people who have come to Forks have been new are the Cullens, who have almost been elevated to like a deity level where they're like the gods don't deign to talk to us, and then Bella comes in. It's just like they're like, oh cool, you'll talk to us. Like the thing is, though I
did find like I found everybody who wasn't Anna Kendrick convnnoy. Well, I think I definitely think they're written that way because we're supposed to see that the genuine love is between Bella and Edward because they are deep souls, while everyone else is like a little bit vapid because Bella doesn't care about prom, she doesn't care about the yearbook, and you know, she's sort of elevated above these like very regular like high school concerns, because you know, she's immediately
embroiled in a vampire battle. So one of my favorite things is apparently Anna kendrickcuse forgetting that she wasn't Twilight, which is so weird to me. How do you forget that you're in like one of the most culturally important movies that's ever made. Well, I was like, I was listening to the Dutchess
and Daddies talking Dad's podcast. They're like, yeah, eventually just projects start kind of blending together after a while if you do enough of them, like you know, and then like, oh, right, I did do that thing. That does make sense because I'm not a big movie star, and that happens with stuff in my life where people are like this thing and I'm like, sure, okay, yeah, I believe you. I don't know,
I don't remember her. So I guess if you're Anna Kendrick and you're flying all over the place and doing movies like what was the one where her and oh gosh, I cannot remember the name of that woman everyone's obsessed with from Parks and Ray Oh very funny. Uh, I'm like yeah, yeah,
so glad I grinded the podcast to a hole for that. But like they did that movie in Hawaii with um Zac Efron and Adam Divine and you know, like that to me probably would eclips something like I showed up for four days on a set in Canada or whatever and filmed you know, Twilight twenty years ago. She just made a very difficult to watch just because the subject matter, but very good movie called Alice Darling about a psychologically abusive relationship.
Oh wow, yeah, it's it's intense, but it's a very good movie. Um oh and um the woman who plays Tennis from Leta Kennies in it. Yeah, okay, And I'm just like it's hard. She's one of those actors as where you once you know them from a certain role, it's hard to like see them be something else, like you know, defenseless or whatnot. Because I'm like, that's Tannis. Tannis would just like baying
this guy as soon as he stepped through the door. I feel that way about Um, who's the one who plays Annie on Community Alison By Yeah, so I to me, Alison Bury is always Judy Campbell from Madman. So when I saw her in um Glow, I was like, OK, And I didn't even get her name right, Trudy Campbell. Trudy Cambell would never put up in this bullshit like she you know, is a strong independent woman.
Yeah, um so yeah, Chells Pete Campbell, if you so much as unzip your fly within fifty miles of this house, I will destroy you. That that in the fifties to your shitty husband. That's amazing. Yeah, oh my god. She's still good and happiest season that movie. Well, christ And starts in that movie as well. She's also very good at and albrey Plaza. Do you think they all have a group chat? I hope so. Yeah, they're just like, isn't it Gray being like some
of the best female actresses in Hollywood. When we were watching She's the Man last night, I was like, Okay, the Chanting Canum was in the first Step Up movie, and he shows up briefly in the Second Step Up Movie, and then Amanda Byne's shitty ex boyfriend in this he's in the Second Step Up movie. It's I mean, I know that's sort of how like you know, Hollywood works, where like people there are like seasons where people are getting a lot of work and people who sort of actors who look like
them are also getting a lot of work. It just seems weird, like that seems like such a sort of uncanny Valley situation to walk into a room and there's a bunch of other people who look like you. I don't think I'm like that at all. Yeah. Um, so I'd be like, well, the real eminem please stand up. I'd be like, can you leave? I'd be like, please stand up. So, speaking of um, the eminem of the Twilight series, call um, what, Frank,
that is the most controversial thing you've ever said in your life? Dare you trying to get back to them? Okay, Colin is the eminem of Twilight. It doesn't even make sense and it's offensive. I was just trying to get back after but wanted to talk about the biology scene, which is so gondamn funny even now. Oh my god, I was cackling when the fan blows. Bella said towards somebody's like WHOA, Like, what was the stage
direction there? Look appalled? That's not I thought the stage direction was like, you just got the most intense sudden boon. Okay? Is that because that the face he makes looks like the face? Okay, this is such a specific thing. But when you're in New York City in the summer and the garbage is out and it's just like baking, like absolutely baking in the heat, and the car drives by and just WAPs it into your face, That's the face I would make. Not a face that I am so suddenly
aroused. It's a face like oh it's so gross, Like I could taste the smell, it's so bad. It's not so much the faces the body movement of him just like suddenly like like the whole body shutter. Yeah, that makes sense. And then we perceived like she sits next to him, and I'm like, of course, so a big animate tree is that the main character is the one sitting in the desk closest to the window. Okay,
um, so they can happen. I love that as a weird trope, like it's so bizarre that that's designated one of my favorite one of my favorite things the game Spot the main character, where like you'll see a bunch of people of like normal ass blonde or like brown or black hair and other be like one person with pink hair, and you're like spot the main characters. I think it's the one with the pink hair. M that's great, but yeah, so I doubt that that's what Stephanie was going for. That.
But we also forget he has the angel wings behind him. Um, but there's just like a bird or something that's the taxi dirty. Yeah, there's a stuffed out so like I love it so much. So they you know, these are their pairings for the rest of the year, their lab partners, Um and Edward storm Set of class. Bella I guess, followed
him after class. It makes no sense why she ends up at the school office like while he's there, being like, you need to move me into some other science and at this very small school, the administrative assistant is like no, sorry, full up, can't move you anywhere. It's the middle of the school here. I mean, that's the weirdest part. It's just like, well, you're in biology. You're demanding to be moved to physics
for a reason you will not disclose. Like so, Bella takes an immediate dislike to this whole situation, but is already obsessed with Edward, which I mean, it's Robert Pattinson and goth makeup running around being a total weirdo. I would also be very into him. So her mom calls from a mechanic shop. There's this like runner about how her mom um loses her phone charger because remember she's hair brained, and um. Her mom's like, how's the
school? How is everyone treating you? And fell was like it's fun, and her mom's like, who's being me to one man? One man? Adam an entire school? But I mean he was. There's like a little comedic beat where like Fella sniffs under her arm, Like I think I as a person who fixates, I definitely would also be upset if a man had like just such a bodily reaction to my presence, just like oh An, I'd be like, what the fuck? Wait? Like high school age,
Frank. That would devastate me, Like because I'm already like going around like somebody be like, hey, Frank, how's it going, I'd be like they probably hate me? And then somebody to do that if you're like, well, I've got to leave the school. Nobody likes me here. You go to the school office and be like I need to be put in any other science and they administrated to be like what is happening in this biology class?
I'm like, I'm sorry, a lot of times the school has come to an end, I'm going to need to go to one of the other high schools around here. They're on other high schools around here. I'm like, okay, I guess I'll just go back to class. But yeah, um, so oh have we've gone to high tech high But so then the which we call it the day's pass and Edward has not been in school, and Bella is even more pissed about this, which uh seems strange, and
he's like, what is what it's going to happen with his education? He's like, I'm very concerned about the truancy issue with this man, this man who seemingly hates me. So um. The first day Edward is back, we get a cafeteria introduction scene. Unlike most high school movies, this is not like an introduction of the clicks. Is just the introduction of this one family. Well that happened beforehand. Oh okay before biology. Yeah no, when he comes back, this is where we get the apple kick scene.
Yeah. So sorry, I can't believe that I forgot this iconic scene where Anna Kendrick is giving us the rundown of the Coulin where she's like they're all adopted and together, you know, like together together. Like now even further
out from initially seeing this, I'm like that is so weird. Like everyone in the town must be like, look, I get we're a rural town, but that doesn't mean there are no rules, like they rules and laws still exist, just like doctor carlisle Um, Social Services needs to come check some shit out. Social Services needs to come speak to your forty year old teenagers, please. So um, we get introduced to Alison Jasper. Jasper
looks in pain all the time. And again I'm sorry, go ahead, was like, he looks like he's complete, like also hiding awkward boners. Yeah, like Jasper. Also to me, Jasper just looks like he's trying not to throw off all the times, like that's what happens. And then um, there's also uh Rosalie and Emmett. And Emmett is the one who is standing up in the ge coming to school. So um then like drumroll please, Edward and strolls in through the cafeteria doors, and Anna Kendrick lets
us know that he doesn't date anyone at the school. He's like looking very slick um and I couldn't stop thinking about him being angsty Batman this like entire time, Like because angsty Batman has so much like dark goop on his face. And they absolutely slathered Robert Pattinson in like the whitest cover up makeup you ever seen. I saw some tumbling notes when they were talking about the Batman where they're like Bruce sticks his head into a theme eyeliner then cries in his
way to the scene. He really does, like there's so much goop on his face all the time. Also, I was just thinking about how funny would be if Edward became Batman, and it's just like when he has to fight in the city, it's just like the you know, the part of his face that's shown just a sparkle, Oh my god, every time the
lights hid it. Um Okay. Yeah. Also, if I was remaking this movie and like there's gonna be the Twilight series coming out, um, which honestly I don't really see the need for, Like we were in the Vampire Diaries, like they're just gonna add a bunch of extremous nonsense to it. Though, if they gave me a prequel series about Rosalie, I'll be two road to that or like a limited series. That'd be awesome. Yeah, Like I don't know how, Like first of all, which channel would
be the one doing the series. I think it's like Showtime or HBO or something. Okay, I was gonna say, it's gonna have to be one of those channels because like the vampire birth stuff is so graphic and so upset. You can't do that on you know, like Basic cable. It just can't happen. Um check the mic. Oh they did like eight times on Rivedale what vampire births? Yeah, they did like three times one episode stop it of course. But I know, I like, I feel like people
have just stopped talking about Riverdale because it got so crazy. It was like, who would believe me? I guess that this is a show that is available to people, and they could you know, I could just prove to them that I'm telling the truth, But why would they believe me? It's so outlanded, Like when you try and talking about Riverdale, you suddenly become Cassandra where you're just like shouting what happens in Riverdale that nobody believes you.
Yeah, everyone's like wait what now, I can't be a real show. Somebody didn't write that, and now with the writers strike like pending, I'm like, everything's gonna start seeming like Riverdale because it's just gonna be people unfamiliar with content trying to write shows. And I would have to assume that most of our listeners are not hold it up to remember the initial writers strike.
I think that what was that, Like she hasn't six? It was like yes, because like the Office was in this like fifth season or something. It was a dark time get Ready for some truly terrible TV for some reason, a lot of stinging episode. It's, um, yeah, it's not gonna be great. Okay, I'm gonna say this. Let me just quick
take quick trip to the bake sale. But um, somebody was like, there's no greater shame than Ready into like the YouTube algorithm, like the name of the song that put in Glee version after at the end of it, I like, I'm sort of torn because we've never done Glee, and I feel like so much of it is like wildly problematic, and you know, there's been so much tragedy in the cast. But also part of me is like, how do we not do Glee? I don't know, what are
your thoughts on it? Well, Donnie sat down and watched all of Glee, and he has a lot of like thoughts on it. Yeah, so maybe I a you know, three person episode with Donnie. We can all talk about it, okay, because like, and you know, the thing is, I'm sure it sort of develops over the seasons. But I watched an Eddie Burback video about the first episode and I was like, what or
the nightmare that is Leah Michelle not even that? Just like the premise of the first episode is that the teacher is so mister whatever his name is, is so obsessed with becoming the glee leader. He like blackmail as a child, and he's lying to his wife and then his wife is pregnant and like another teacher, the original Glee teacher gets fired because he inappropriately touched a student, and I was like, this is way heavier. I mean, it's
Ryan Murphy, right, so I shouldn't be surprised. Like I loved the first season of American Horror Story and it's the same guy. So it's like, well, does see what do you expect? But at the same time, I'm like, luckily it was just about song. I thought it was like pitch perfect Nope. But Okay, we're gonna take a quick trick to the base l I'm getting kick into the real heart of Twilight high teen girl
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young talent every day. Create your free profile with Talo that's ta Lllo. Visit Talo dot com slash teen girl talk to get started. I have another question about they do music underneath their songs, right, so it's not like pitch perfect? Yes, okay, okay, that's all. That was my only question. Um So um Bella and Jacob Bella, Jacob Bella and Edward have like a lot of back and forth where it's you know, Edward being wildly rude to her and then being like, oh, but JK, I'm
obsessed with you and I you know, I can't be near you. We shouldn't be friends, and she's like understandably, like what is happening? Like what is your deal? And um Bella is standing in the parking lot when a man drives it to the parking lot at top speed, loses complete control of his band and almost pancakes Bella. So Edward gets there in like the blink of an eye and protects Bella from the careening minivan and so Bella's like,
how did that happen? And so then she is at the hospital and we meet doctor Colin, who's Edward's dad for all intents and purposes, and she questions Edward after kind of walking up on Edward and Rosalie and doctor Colin having a debate about how Edward is endangering them all, and he was like, what was I supposed to do? Let her die? And Rosalie's implicit answer was yes, and so then Edward like gaslights the shit out of her and is like, I was standing right next to you the whole time.
I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have superhuman strength and speed. And Belle's like, wait what and he's like, I don't want to be runs by? Um. I also, that's all very important, but I don't want to talk about how huffy Charlie is. Oh my gosh,
yes, about the man that almost ran Bella over. The guy keeps apologizing, Charlie like like you and I are going to have a discussion them to this, like you're losing your license, and Bella's like, dad, chill, and he's like, I'm an achievable believe Um so yeah, I forget exactly When it happens. About a certain point, Bella wakes up and boom Edwards in her room. She turns out her light, Boom, Edward's gone not yet, So first they have to go on the field trip to the
greenhouse. Um Edward continues to be rude and churlish to her and good words, thank you, and she gets asked out by I'm going to find the name of this character, one of the annoying sideboy characters by Mike Newton. Tyler is the one who almost hit her with his car. Mike Newton is asked her to prom and she's like, wait what now, I'm not going to be here. I'm going to Florida. And he's like, can't you go to Florida a different weekend, which I think is pushy, and she's
like, no, I can't. I have to go to Florida that weekend. And so she tells him that he should ask Anna Kendrick's character to prom and m Edward is like making googly eyes at her the whole time, and then he comes up next to her in the greenhouse and is like, um, actually I saved you due to a drenaline in my system. It's a very common thing. You can google it. And she's like, what is your deal? And he's like, I don't want to be friends and so
then and it can't dangerous to be around me. Now, I'm gonna get on this empty bus and I'm gonna just sting alkolly at the bus driver. I mean, it's that's I never noticed before this watch that he delivers his line up being like stay away from me, and then just kind of like Fonzie hits the bus door and then it opens, and I'm like, can you imagine a teenager doing that? The bus store would be like, knock it off, I'll let you on the bus when it's time to let you
on the bus vampire. I would have also, who thankus, Susie. Um, well, here's the thing, Frank, how's he getting the bus? He wasn't invited. I just saw Renfield. You need to invite a vampire in. I think I think like we're not falling the closest rules and um in this thing, Like I don't. I don't think that Twilight is not cannon in the vampire Well, I mean what other vampires sparkle Susy And I don't want to harp on that, because yes, it's dumb, but
it's not it's also amazing. Yeah, looks like Tobias covered in the diamond cream. Yeah, but it also like, okay, well we'll get there. I also would have loved if the um what we do in the Shadows. Vampires were in this movie absolutely. I mean sorry, I'm coughing so much like straight like Dave Barry. It is just like in the movie. I mean they think, wait, Matt Berry, you mean yes, Dave Barry. Um, his character was actually in Arizona for a while. That's
so funny. There's a point where he beats up a bunch of bikers because he thinks they're street toughts, and they're like, what do you want to ride to raise money for kids? And this guy just came out of nowhere and keep the crap out of us. That sounds like Matt Berry. And then and not just not just the absolute pest. What do we do in the Shadows? It's such a good show. Um, here's the thing at the point where he delivers the line this is the skin of a killer Bella.
It's just so amazing. It's so good. Okay, as he sparkles and looks like he's gonna throw up, it's great. Okay. You know what if I was going to remake Twilet, a scene I would have would be the Cohens trying to brainstorm, Like he's like, I want to still talk to Bella because as you know, I'm not obsessed with her, but what excuse can I use that won't kill us killed? As Like, um okay, gasline didn't work, adrenaline all right? Cool? Thanks that well?
Yeah, Like, I mean, since Edward doesn't sleep, he just spent all that time ruminating about like I'm just gonna find us out. Also, here's the other part. Who in this town has enough sense that they, like everyone in Forks is so self consumed. They're not. I mean, they all seem like very nice people, but they all seem very involved in their own stuff. I don't see them all kind of like getting together in a gang to kill the Colins. I mean, the thing is like
they're all colors only he's the only doctor. There are no other doctors in this town. And honestly, if I was doctor Colin, I'd be like, Hey, hospital, I'm gonna make you a deal. Hospital as an entity. Hello hospital, you guys kick me a few blood packs each week. I worked twenty four hours without breaks about having to do anything. We
cool. Good, But now you're just turning him into Morbius. No, Like, I'm not telling into Morbous because Morbius was not useful in the least like Yeah, it's amazing how little Morbus did and then got the noble peace for ze. Like of vampires, I respect, Oh my god, yes please, I need your vampire hierarchy, your vampire respect hierarchy. It's like what we do in The Shadows Crew. Okay, um, the Cullens, Okay, Spike, Angel morbous. I can't believe that Spike is excuse me,
Spike is above Angels. Spike attempted to assault Buffy, Okay, okay, but they're both in the dregs because I just think Angels so fucking boring. Angel is a real dud. No shade to David Boreanis. But like, oh gosh, have you ever watched Bones. I've never really given Bones a chance. No, that's a procedural. I'm not really into procedurals. I'm only into it if it's Law and Owner. I've never ever watched any
of the other like procedural shows. Like yeah, like I agree, Like Law and Order is just like, hey, we're gonna just do this by the numbers, and our guy is going to crack witticisms. It's not like we're gonna have two people typing on a computer at the same time. And I like, we're like superheroes or something. He's like, Nope, We're just going to do the work. And that's a m I mean, I
don't want to throtiate a NCIS because I know it is beloved. But the other thing about law on NUDDER is it really depends on which season you're talking about, because like the Dennis Farina seasons, those did not age well. We watched a lot of those in the last couple of months and I was like, boy, guys, if it wasn't a Sam McCoy episode, I'm not watching it. I mean, Frank Sam McCoy was on that show for a bazillion seasons. He spans all the seasons. Oh I didn't. I
didn't like the lawyer before that. Didn't like Dennis Farina, and like Dennis Farina is not a lawyer though he's a detective. Yeah, I didn't like him. Didn't like him. I had to spend half the show. If I'm going to spend half the show, it's going to be with um, well, what's his name, Jerry Orback and Benjamin Bratt. That was peak for me. Peak was Jeremy Warback, Benjamin Bratt, and Sam McCoy fair
enough. I bet you a dream team, as they say, yeah, I bet you you knew who was watched a bunch of Law in Order Franks Frank when he was twelve, because there's like six episodes on a day during spring summer break. Um, yeah, there's a lot. Law and Order is on multiple channels multiple times a day. Now. Yeah, I've watched, like, I've watched six episodes of that and then like four episodes of The Mash. Um, and that was my that was my summer anyway.
And you're like, I'm not going outside. I refuse to go too hot, too hot, and also I was scared of people then anyway. Um, but so you know now, um, at this point there's a cul de sac of a beach trip where Jacob and his friends from the reservation show up, and that is exposition dump at the beach that we need to go to the beach so that we can get some tasty exposition and some CPA tone flashbacks to the Collins eating a deer, okay, and um, I love
them in their old timy clothes. It was amazing. I love them being like the columns don't come here, long, pregnant, awkward pause, so good and then immediately after that, I was like, what the fuck was that? And Jacob says, oh you caught that, Jacob, Yes, it was so obvious. Jacob's like, we got a real sloop on our hands. That was the kind of pause that somebody that comes after somebody says I'm not cool racial No, racial slurs are cool and not cool racial slur?
Oh please detail to us like cool racial slurs. Okay, say something highly problematic and everybody just fall silent, be like oh boy. And then like literally you could feel the air in the room and you're like gosh, and you're just waiting for somebody be like not cool man, Yeah, well I feel the pause and then he should be like, you know, pause not so long. They had to cut the sea. They were like seat over, you know those cool racial slurs which are like in the half pipe,
you know, rid sky for the hell, Frank get better. It's just like such an awkward way to put it. I got what you were saying, like racial slur is bad, but you're like, which are uncool? But then it really does open you up to thinking are you saying they are cool ones? No? There are no? Thank you right, thank you for clarifying there are no cool racial slur all right, Oh my god, oh so the mess So the dance is coming up and um prom it's
the problem. It's the inexplicably Mine Carlo themed pra. I feel like movie people who are either writing I don't know how many lines of approval Monte Carlo theme had to go through, but the writers, the set dresser, the director were like, yeah, that sounds like a kid theme, right Monte Carlo. I mean my prom theme was wonderful tonight. So yeah, it's usually something generic like beautiful memory, winter Wonderland, not like Monte Carlo theme,
which is very specific. Also, when I think of Monte Carlo, I think it was like a seaside beach town, which I guess Forks is, but it's not really You're not out there in a bikini being like whoo. So it's like, yeah, you're in rainy Forks. But now I don't know where Monte Carlo is. Is that on the Riviera I think? So I know they have one races there. Oh god, okay, I'm revising this. Keep the Monte Carlo theme, but it's all f one race
thing. It has little like race car helmets on the table. Everybody was done in reds and gold, the following the theme of um abstinence, everybody has to wear of the movie out of them. Yeah. No, that the like we made the principal character very into abstinence and he's like to make sure there is no kissing at this prom. Everybody must wear race car helmets
with the visors down. People are dead, so you just hear the quiet dunk as they like either accidentally or personally hit their race car helmets into one another. That would be so good, But the thing is the lights are low too, so they can't see through the race car helmet visor. So many injuries. Yeah, these school nurses like, I hate whoever came off with this theme. Yeah, so um, we head too. Uh. So they go they go shopping for prom dresses. Bella is just like,
well, I'm gonna go find a used bookstore. Um. And she finds a used bookstore. She buys a book about um the Cold Ones, um or not like about vampires. Oh my god, we forgot about the ghouling scene that hasn't happened yet. It did because it's how she had the book. They're multiple googling scenes, so this is her finding the book and basically finding a reason to go to Port Angeles. So it's like like she slowly writes the name of the city. Um. So uh. Three dudes show
up and they're like writing Bella. Um. All of a sudden, Edwards car comes driving in and he like chases them away the Volvo. They're so much pro placement for Volvos. We see like a car commercial shot of the Volvo like Tokyo drifting into frame. There's another shot from the front of the car as he gets out. As he pulls out once he has Bella in
the car, another like front facing shot of the Volvo logo. And I mean this just further's sort of underlines the wealth like fetishization for lack of better word, that takes place in this movie. Yeah, and like, um, I was just thinking about I also had a Volvo station working. It was like a ninety six Volvo station Mark, and I was like, if I tried this move, I either turn the car over or like my car immediately breakdown. I'm like, okay, there's a problem about Bella. I've
no I've saved you by now need to cultural aid to save us. You would definitely break into axel if you tried to turn that sharply. Yeah. And he's just like, you need to talk to me or else I'm gonna go back and beat up those guys. And I'm like why not, they're assholes, Like yeah, he said, distract me so I don't go back and rip their heads off. And they was like, calm down, put your seatbelt on. He's like, oh, you put your seatbelt on.
And she's like you can still turn into a projectile not wearing a seat belt. He's like that's a good point. Click. Um, because he's invulnerable doesn't mean he doesn't need to be seat belt safe. Everybody should be seat belt safe. Um. Oh but fun fact about Volvo. Actually Volvo were the ones to come up with the three pronged seat belts, um, and they were like, we're not gonna patent this. Everybody uses it. Oh that's great, um, because they're like those old ships were way more dangerous
where you just bent at the waist when you got into a car. Accent anyway, So they go to a cafe and the waitress is like totally into Edward and Frank's totally into this waitress. Rockabilly hair due yes, And I
feel like we need to I need to point that out. Yes, Edward is tells Bella that he can read everybody's thoughts, and Bella is not amazing him for some reason, and he's just like people are, I can hear what people are thinking, money, sex, sex, money, cat and like cuts over this pictures like to look at this guy who's you can very clear is a very doting cat dad. And the thing is Edward's like I can read everyone's thoughts except for yours. Also is definitely not important for plot
reasons. I also would have loved a scene where Edward is talking to somebody like how many how many? Maybe the reason he doesn't talk to people is because he did try talking to people and they're just like, this guy is so tedious. I do not like talking to him. Well, I mean I think that they kind of do like a little joke because he can definitely read Anna Kendrick and the other friend's thoughts. Um when they're like, oh, Bella, we didn't know where you were, so we ate dinner without
you. We did not alert the police, um. And he has like kind of a smug face on, so they're definitely like, look at this man, Candy well just like yeah, like he must talk to like some girls in his head just kiss me, and like some dudes like like he says, everything about him is designed to draw you in his face his voice. Yeah. Um. And so they head back to forks Um. They make a quick stop because they found out somebody else is dead from a animal
attack. That's why. That's okay, that's kind of why they maken stop. But it's because both their dads are at the police station. That's what I'm saying. Carlyle and Charlie the double c are solving crimes. I know. But you're like, well, they know someone's dead, so they're like quick, n sure, I can. It's like I can hear your dad's laws. I can't believe this bullshit. I just want to go home. Another goddamn murder. But oh in this time it was but Craxanna. Yeah.
Unfortunately, um sos f to pay respects. So Bella m Franks in a video game thing, please acknowledge. Very good. Bella goes to turn off the heat and their hands brush and she's like your ice cold. He's like, oh um, oh my god. This is where the movie goes into overdrive of dramatics. And I'm so just so into it because Charlie lets her know. They're saying it's an animal, but it doesn't seem to be
an animal that attacks but Craxanna and um. The next day at school, Bella and Edward lock eyes, and Bella starts immediately marching into the woods. No one notices, no one seems to care. She like gets to a clearing, drops her backpack, and her and Edward have a confrontation and she says, I know what you are, and he's like, say it and she says vampire. It's all very dramatic, and then spinning around them, yes, he says, I need you to see something. Her backpack is
in the clearing. She never retreats her backpack. Her school books are gone. Charlie's gonna be so pissed. You know, Edward could just run back and grab it. Yeah, but okay, as a teenager, I okay, I've now found out the man who's going to be my vampire boyfriend is like eternal. And then I has to be like, uh, can you get my backpack? It's still in the clearing. I'd probably just feel like those books are gone, They're dead to me. I can't do anything about
it. It's been way funnier. She was like, hey, can you just go quicker get my backpack? You did run me away from it. Yeah, I wish i'd gone a little bit of morning when you were like, I need you to see something because my backpack it's a it's a twenty minute walk for me, it's a two seconds sprint for you, just like him. Yeah, because like if the funniest part is like everything is supposed to be in you know, so secretive, nobody can know where vampires.
Edward is running around like a maniac all the time. Yeah, because he's faster than the others. Anyway, Um so this part where he's running her up the mountain, like I still laugh at the concept, but Red tracts throwing the yakete sacks to it, you know, And this is where we get it. The glorious unmasking of him, like glittering in the sun, and he's like everything we do is meant to draw you in. I'm like, oh, I am far less attracted him now that he's glittering in the
sun. Well, like I definitely, Edward, you both like you definitely can do some sun, don't body. Sheme Edward. He looks sexy. I've said it, I can say it. Rubber Friends and I were like the same age, so I know he's supposed to be a teenager in this film, but he's like one hundred years old. It's fine, Yeah, I mean it's fine. Like um, so you know, then we start getting a bunch of treetop wire work as well as well as a bunch of slow motion jumps, which I love so much every time, like slow motion.
You know, they're like, look at how elegant Edward is, and I'm like, I can see what you're going for. I do have some
notes. One of my favorite gifts I've ever seen is like it's from them filming the like last Harry Potter film, and you can see, like I guess, um, Emma Watson, Rubber Grint and Danner Radcliffe are supposed to being hoisted up for something, and like rub Grint and Emma Watson are like, you know, standing straight up, and like Daniel Radcliffe is just like bent, like he's like horizontal and just this dumb smile on his face as they bring him up. Like Danner Racliffs is like a chill dude, and
he's also he looks like he'd be so fun to hang out with. And he's gonna be a dad now, so little Danny Radcliffe. Um, so he's doing a run on Broadway right now for this play Merrily We Run Along, Merrily We Roll Along. I hope he's doing the same thing he did the last time he's on Broadway, where like the Papa Razzi kept hanging outside his dressing room and so he bought the same gray shirt and black slacks every day so they couldn't use any of the photos. Yeah, because it just
looked like they were taking it on the same day. Yeah. So now we're going to get a bunch of like exposition dump about the family and about vampires and whatnot, and he's gonna be like, you know all the rules now and then um, he's going to bring Bella to meet his family in earnest Um and he's not gonna meet Charlie yet. But I do I do
enjoy scenes with the entire Culin family. I think. Oh, and also just thinking about it, like going back to the mind reading, like if you if you know from the beginning that he's reading people's minds, that definitely makes every interaction he has way funnier because like you can like, um well, like when he does meet Charlie, I think like he does appear a bit nervous, and I think he's just like, this guy really is gonna this guy really is gonna shout gun me if I do the wrong thing.
Yeah, and then he'll find it I'm a vampire because I won't die when he shotgun blasting yeah. And then Charlie was like, oh, probably just didn't take three more um so, and I the Culins were just very cute, you know, just like I was like, we're gonna be best friends. And then trying to make like food. I just thought it was really sweet. And then Rosalie just smashes the like sellable like in her bare hands. It's great. Like everything. I wish there were more columns in this
movie. Well, every time the Colins aren't on the screen, you ever asking where are the Colins, which basically they already do. I was gonna say, everyone does seem super concerned about where the Coulins are. I was just like way more invested in all the Colons, and not like Bella's friends except for Anna Kendrick. I mean, even Anna Kendricks character is like a little bit annoying. Yeah, I just have a crushing Unta Kendrick. So um so anyway, um so then um we oh so um we can.
Every starts moving pretty quickly after this, because when they decided to play vampire baseball during the thunderstorm, Um, we're going to meet the bad vampire is the vampires that ate that one random guy and then Buck Craxanna And as far as threats go, like I only remember the name of they just keep referring to the one like the one as that the blonde woman, and I forget the name of the dude with the dreads who looked for he is the redhead
I don't remember. James is the tracker. I can find the other guy's name. Yeah, the other guy just looks like he definitely would be on like the Matrix Laurant Jill remembers because they love twilights so much. James looked like just such a weenie like I like, also has a bad wig. I'm not thread by James at all. Um, so well, don't worry
about him. His head's gonna get twisted off in a minute. Yeah, but like I love vampire baseball and I said this just like I said this to a few people that, like the X Men in the comics, have played NonStop games of basketball and baseball with their powers, and nobody calls that dumb. So you know, maybe just think like, oh, the X Men also do this, um, and they don't look half as cute as
Als does. Pitching a ball. I mean, yeah, the actress that plays Alice m really like Ashley Green, really puts like a lot of I don't I don't know a sports term for like pitching a baseball stank, I guess on on the ball. Well, she extends her leg all the way up, but I'm i'ven't looked it up. I'm like she must have some kind of dance or ballet training. Oh for sure. Um. I was like, I wonder if I could look that cool throwing a baseball, And
I was like, no, I definitely fall over. Um. So you know, we get another scene that's very concerned with the wind and Bella's hair, and the wind picks up and blows you know, the scent into James Basley. So James looks like he's enjoying the set, versus Edward, who's
like, well, the vella's velball. Yeah, um, and He's like, you brought a snack, which, well, if you think about it in terms of today's um, today's like vernacular, Well, it'd be like if I was if somebody said that would be like, oh, yes, thank you, I am a snack. Yeah. But you know, Fella was like, oh no, they're gonna eat me. Yeah. Um. So the colons have to basically get Bella as far away as possible. They're
going to take her back to Arizona. Um. They're a bunch of them are going to go protect h Charlie, which everybody should want to protect Charlie. Um. And you know this really such strong independent woman, he can protect himself. This is where we get the scene of um what we call it, where Bella tells Charlie, I'm leaving because I hate Forks, even though I've been talking about how much I love Forks. Yeah. So,
um, Charlie is left heartbroken. They go down to the hotel in Arizona and just staying there, Alice has a vision of Bella's old ballet studio. Bella gets a call from James and Belle's like, there's no reason for me to go there. And then Bella gets a call from James, which how did he get her number? Um? And he's like like he hears she hears her mom's voice, and like he's like you come here or also I'm
gonna kill her. And this is a disturbing scene. It really is, because when she gets to the dance studio and finds out that somehow James I get like James really does stuff, and um, kind of like it's so time efficient, right, So he went to Bella's childhood home, went through all the VHS tapes, found a tape of her at the ballet studio saying I don't want to go on stage. Everyone's gonna laugh at me, and her mom saying Bella Bella, Like, how did James get all of this
done so fast? Is there something where like vampires can just watch videotapes faster than normal people. He's like fast forward. He's like, yes, I understand everything. Yeah, so well he then he just starts torturing Bella and it is awful. He steps on her, Um, what's that bone in your leg in your calf? Yeah, and breaks it, just snaps it in half. Yeah, and then fights her. Yeah. It's insults,
injury and poisoner. Yeah, that's when Edwards shows up and they get into a jump fight, there's no Oh my god, the jump fight so good. It's like very clearly wirework. I wish that someone was like, yeah, where is Dracula alive in the canon of Twilight, because I know he's Cannon and um and Puffy the vampire Slayer. I don't know. I don't think that Twilight acknowledges the Dracula yeah. Um. And so they eventually, like the rest of the Columns show up and they tear James apart and they
set a fire like so quickly. They're just they pop his head off like it's nothing like a grape. They're like, and I'm just like, I feel bad for the owner of this dance studio because we're gonna show up like what the hell happened? I literally said that. When we were watching it, I was like, imagine having a beeg, a small business owner I gotta get the next day, and thinking like, what the fuck you just burned a human body in the middle of my child dance studio? Hey,
what did I do? This must have been the was the Murray School Dance? Da have you Murray School of Dance? Yeah, Like it really makes you wonder like like did I I pissed someone off? Is this like a warning like burned a body? How much would you love a movie about competing like child dance like School Owners? I mean I would, as long as it like doesn't involve the children like I have like a lot of ikey feelings
about like the Dance Mom show. That's fair okay, Um well it's just like them like pulling more and more brutal assaults on each other's dance studios. I mean yes, I would watch that, Okay. Um. So yeah, if you watch this movie, which I'm sure some a lot of our listeners already have, um, just like glance in the background because like Jacob, Alice and Emmett are dancing around this flame. Yes, excuse me, Jasper, Alice and Emmett are dancing around this flame like it's some kind of
it's like it's like midsummer or something. Yes, they're like throwing boards in and like really building the fire. It's very wacky kind of and sidestepping in. Their arms are full extended and like um Bella is being you know, being poisoned to death. And this is this is something I only realize this on rewatch where um Edward, Like, you know, Carlile says to Edward, you have two options. You can either suck the poison out or let
it run its course and she will turn and become like us. Yeah, and I'm just like it would be in Edward's best interest if she just became a vampire like him. Yeah, But instead he gives her a choice because he like, you know, like at this moment, he's like, this is not a life you want to lead, Like, I mean, he's filled with self living and hatred. So yeah, so you know, like Carlyle talks him through sucking the poison out, he nearly like goes and like
drains her completely. Um, I mean Bill pointed out, like Edward really takes his time trying to decide what he's gonna do. Meanwhile, the whole time, Bella's like yeah, and Edward's like I don't know, and Carla Carla is like you gotta do something, and then Belle's like, I'm gonna fuck cthul in a few years. I don't understand that reference. Christ's that movie Underwater, Oh yeah, like and a very scary Cthulhu, Like that's what's going on in that movie. Is at the end like she's looking.
She fires off a flare and there's a big old Cthulu and she's like, I'm going to blow up the space and stop Cthulu. Okay, I saw that movie and I don't even remember I didn't remember that that that cthulh is so like I'm just scared of big ocean things in general that aren't Godzilla. That like, wait, you're not scared of Godzilla. No gods, a little gods, a little like would probably just kill me quickly. Cthulhu, We'll do other shit to me, but all horror, of course. Yeah.
But like I just looked at pictures of that Cthulu and it got me scared just looking at a picture of it. Okay, well I can tell you as a person who saw the film in theaters, I have no recollection about Cthulah. I'm a thirty seventy year old man, and I got scared of a picture of Cethrulu anyway. Um, So, like she's in the hospital, like you know, um, they're blaming her broken leg on her
clumsiness, and she's like, no, I want to just insane. It's just like did you fall into like eight bowling balls and somehow landed on top of you. Here's the thing. If the doctor was not doctor Culin, they one thousand percent be like, Bella, we need to speak to you privately because this is not an injury you get from falling down the stairs. There's a bootprint in your leg. Okay, that's too dark, I think, so Frank, it's true. Like if there's any forensics, they're like,
wait, what it snapped in half? Yeah? So she goes back to Forks. Her mom had already been making a plan for her to move to Florida, and Belle's like, look, I know I said that I hate here and I wanted to move to Florida, but that was a lie and I'm staying And how dare you think I want to move to Florida. That was yesterday Bella. Today, Bella with broken leg and clarity wants to
stay in Forks. Yeah, and you know, her mom's like, Edward has been sleeping in your room the whole time if like not for nothing. If I was Bella's mom, I'd be like, she has a suspiciously broken leg. This guy will not leave. I'm starting to wonder about Edward. Obviously I would not know that he's a vampire and a weirdo. I mean, I know he's a weirdo. That's obvious, but like, I definitely
think I would have my suspicions. He also Well, the thing is like the vibe from the mom that it's going to be a lot less difficult to explain to her that he's a vampire. Like she feels you should be very excepting at the vampire almost immediately. Yeah, Like Bella wouldn't even finish the sentence and the mom would be like, oh, yeah, he's a vampire. That's school. So like he's a vatrolling gas lady vampire. Awesome. She's like, he's a vamp. She's like, oh, like Fromedico solid
too, Frank, vamp sounds like a slurk. That's the name of the character. Oh is it? Yeah? I was gonna say, do you consider that a cool slur? No, that he's the character that they have the first conversation in video games about bisexuality about Oh so he's a bisexual vampire. Well, yeah, what I think vamp is a slur I'm my apology. Well no, um, Frank, I mean, if it is, it's a fictitious slur. We don't need to like really drill down on it. Um. But yeah, um, but just in case, we do
apologize to all our vampire listeners if it is a slur there. Um. There's a really funny part in Renfield where um, Nicolas Cage's character is like, don't try to make it a sex thing. I don't care if it's a man or a woman. I just want pure like Victims and Renfields like okay, oh okay, okay, I just um, it was kind of like a fen fatal thing, like vamp means like a fen fatal. Oh
cool, okay. Yeah, So there's there's actually this part in Milker Saw where the character ride in like Snake's explaining like, oh, he's called vamp because like you know, he had to drink blood and he also is dating like both this this guy and the guy's daughter. That's kind of grass. I don't like that, and rite in and just like make some like disgusted noise and Snake calls him Hellen. He's like, would it be better if it was her mother? It'd be better if they weren't fucking related. Yeah,
make your soul. It's a weird, weird game anyway, um so they Edward takes Bella to the prom. Bella has a big old boot on which I've had on multiple times. Not that boot, but various boots. Hey, frony of you were like, yes, it was Bella's boot. And then she's like I want to be turned into a vampire and Edward's like mm nah. Edwards like I'm gonna need you to get to the brink of death again before I'll turn you into a vampire. Yeah. Uh spoiler, uh no, no ring, no fangs. Oh my god, solve it
because we forgot about that scene. They're smooching and he jumps away. He propels his body away from her, and it's like, I'm stronger than I thought, Like that's not okay. My problem is that I'm just too jact. The problem is I somehow lived through the sexual revolution, um free love, the multiple waves of feminism, and I'm still just like nope, noe ring, like no, no sexy times. He's like, against all odds,
I remained puritanical in America. Yeah, despite what I hear from every woman and like a bunch of dudes when I will walking down the street, I know, despite the fact that literally everybody's into me so exhausting. Yeah, it's so exhausting to be so desired as Edward Cullen. I'm gonna say, like, I also, you know, like sometimes people can be like
catty towards each other. I wonder if there's ever a point where Edwards just like Alice, those people aren't your friends, and she's like, and then she gets the visions like, oh I see what they're planning, like I
do. I can't remember who one tumbler posted it, but it's so true where um they were talking about Edwards inner monologue and it's like another Harlot desired me today by um, so that's Twilight upon retrospect, these are this is not a bad moviema Like Okay, yeah I was complaining about kissing Booth again last night? Oh god yeah, Like is the is the acting goofy at times? Yes? But these are you know what, I'm going to give this movie the same defense I'm going to give fun the fantasy ten Um.
I will send this video to you, Sissy so you understand what I'm talking
about. But those who play fas tend know exactly what scene I'm talking about where the character Titis has just had some revelations hit him and he's feeling down and this other character named Una comes up to him and she's like, hey, I've learned how to practice laughing, so people will stop asking me what's wrong, and people just think I'm doing okay, and like so she has Titus lookout over this cliff and he goes ha ha ha and like that.
It is the most ridiculous scene and people are calling up the director and they're like, what is this scene. He's like, do you remember what it's like being a teenager? Well, you were not cool all the time. Yeah, And that's why cheesy stuff works. Period. Sometimes cheesy stuff happens, you gotta just let it, let it hit you and just try and find your legs. Like Bill Dultrue said to Boot Howard, I love about you. Some how managed do we final Fantasy ten and King of the Hill
into this. Yeah, So like the Frank trifecta. So we're going to watch next week, we're gonna watch Polite Society, which was the whole was the whole reason for doing as for Aprils for Action Month, but it came out on the twenty eighth, so it was just like too rough for us to like watch it and record the episode, so we're gonna push it to next week. We get to that, we're helping it right back into Twilight
exactly. And I really am looking forward to Polite Society. I hope that it makes up for all of the terrible spot movies we watched this month, with the exception of Debs. Yes, and once we watch New Moon, we will come to the end of any Twilight movies. I see. Because I only watched Twilight and New Moon, I did not watch the other three.
I know we're ready. We're ready to take an adventure, an adventure even further into fourth Yes, but okay, So if you'd like to write us, so, you can write us at real teen Girl Talk at gmail dot com. Um, we'd love to hear your Twilight hot takes. We have a Facebook group and page that Frank moderates and until next week, I am Susie Koda. I'm Frank Koda Tea