Welcome to teen Girl Talk Dean Girl Talk.
I'm season Kota.
I'm Freakingkota, and this.
Week we are talking about Stranger Things season two, episode seven through nine.
Yep. And I was just watching clips from season three and I kind of wish we had already gotten there because Maya Hawk, yes.
She, I have watched season three, and she is like the highlight of season three. This one. I really enjoyed it. But when I like start to think about it, I'm like, it's kind of like a rehash of season one. It's just a little bit similar.
It's just it's more of season one.
Yeah, it's like season one point five.
Yeah, like you know, it's let's see, I'm trying to think. There's definitely horror movies, oh where it's just like in the escalation of the Jurassic Park movies where it's just like, oh shit, our park's going nuts. Oh no, now the park has been nuts for so long. Okay, now it's a normal park, but now it's even going more nuts because it's chaos. Just he's building on itself, or like how.
Super Brittain or the continuous what you might call it Jurassic Parks, or just like I don't know, they're like real. I don't say this lightly because I think this phrase is stupid, but like nothing Burger movies, like I've seen them all. I saw them in theaters and I was like, I hate the humans. I want the dinosaurs to win. I would just watch two hours of dinosaurs eating people and taking over the earth. And in one of those Jurassic Park movies they killed dinosaurs. They had them like
falling into a fire gulch. I hated that. I'm gonna get a letterbox just to say that that part sucked.
You know what It's like. It's like how they continually escalated the villains and the original Spider Man movies, the Sam Raimie ones. This one is like just Green Goblin. Second one it's like doc oc and also I guess Harry Osbourne. Third one is just like we got Green Goblin, we got Venom. We got Sandman who justified into crimes because he has a daughter that's sick.
Like I the that last like San Rainy Spider Man was such a mess, like such a disaster mess I did. It's not that I didn't enjoy it. I did. I like that to for grace was Venom that was weird. That was a super weird choice. But also those movies are just not good.
Okay, So I don't want to get too far into comic nonsense. But like in in the comics, Eddie Brocks supposed to be the exact opposite of Peter Parker in almost every aspects, in that he is like giant. He's like taller than Peter, and he's like muscular, just like.
Giant arm hard.
Yeah, like he like he would constantly he kind of like cut to him in his apartment, just in his boxer's just like lifting dumbbells and whatnot.
And like was he a loser though, like the Tom Hardy Eddie Rook not really.
He was a hot shot reporter and then he got like slung to like the gossip columns. And that's why he called himself venom because he had to speak venom about like people and he didn't like it.
But I feel like, I don't know, I only Tom Hardy's Eddie Brock is like cannon for me. I don't know any other venom. But it kind of seemed like he liked being a jerk. Oh yeah, no, he was always a jerk, So why didn't he like being a gossipy jerk. It kind of seems like right up his alley.
Because he wanted to be better, Like, he wanted to be on important stories, not like the gossip rags.
Okay, so he was a jerk, but he wanted to be an important jerk. I guess that's relatable. I guess that mirror's real life.
Yeah. And before we uh, before we talk about this movie a show, let we talk about the show very good Bob in it, I want to talk about a different very good Bob. His name is Bob Emmett Fletcher, and he lived in America during World War Two. And he was there, he had several Asian neighbors and they were put into one of our great disgraces, into the internment camps. And Bob, they were all farmers. Bob ran
his farm and then their subsequent three farms. Every dime that those three farms earned, he paid the mortgage, he paid the taxes, and he put aside. So when they were finally released, they came right back and everything was just as it was when they left it. And he received no recognition for this. Oh but well, he did get threatened by his community, but eventually he uh. Eventually, like in the early two thousands, he was reack nice as the hero he was, but he's like, yeah, they
are my neighbors. I don't care. I wanted to help them.
Oh that's nice of him.
So good on that Bob, and good on our Bob, who is a true superhero. And I'm so upset I had to see him get done so dirty at the end of season two.
Like, okay, I obviously trigger warning for violence and abuse and just general spooky situations, but and spoiler alert that Bob is going to pass away. In this episode, the last couple of shots of him being devoured by demic gorgans were so egregious, and it reminded me of when mister Muse got eaten by demic gorgan, where I was like, I didn't see that. You like, this is one of those suations where you can tell and you don't need to show. Thank you very much. I don't need to
see that. I don't want to see. That kind of makes me lose respect for the show a little bit. Yeah, Like, trust me as a viewer, I will have emotions that mister Muse has passed, that Bob has passed. I don't need you to show me a graphic scene of them being devoured, like, I promise I can get there without that.
I hate those demo dogs.
Yes, and also that is a good name, and Dustin is right and he should correct people every time they don't call them demo dogs.
What if in season three he's copyrighted the name and every time somebody says it, he's just like demansa nickel from them.
I would love to know who's going to keep talking about this because, as we learned for this season, they can't talk about this stuff. There's a huge cover up. Finally, justice for Barb. But the thing is, why is no one talking about Bob? Why was there no service for Bob?
Yeah? Why is why is there not a statue in the town square for Bob? Because, like, I don't want to deny everybody else's contributions because they were they were many, and they were great, but Bob saved most of the principal cast.
Your the other part, all of these faceless soldiers mowed down. Are we supposed to assume they're all out of towners?
I mean I don't think. I don't think Hawkins, Indiana has a large standing army. They only have like three cops.
Absolutely, But then who is copper calling when he's like calling in reinforcements and yelling at people?
I am the police, I think probably the National Guard.
Sure, but are you telling me in this small town with a lot of jobs that none of the people in this town have been listed.
That's a good point that they wouldn't be just.
Assigned to Hawkins Lab Or did they use that of towners so that they're to sort of squashed the gossip mill?
Hmmm? Interesting? I think they probably used out of towner's probably.
I mean, like, what kind of skill set do you need to guard a hell portal?
Like?
How how would that be marked in your file?
Hey, my name's my name's Jeff. I Uh, you know why I would like to work here? Well, I.
If you're in the military, you would probably be a pirate private or corporal.
Yeah. I enjoined the military to see the world, and they summon Hawkins Indiana. I've seen a lot of this strange, upside down world that's full of stuff that we're not sure what it's doing to. My body probably doing something, But I'm here and I'm ready to fight, to just flame throw our things in this weird shadow dimension. I think several yugioh characters have been sent here. I'm I'm afraid.
Anyway, It's like, that's the thing. Can they not write their moms or is it like a private Ryan thing where they choose people who don't have like siblings or family.
Probably more, probably more of the latter. Though, here's the thing I would like, Okay, this is probably a pretty big hunting community. Would you say, you know, a bunch of woods rural America. Here's what I'd be like. I'd be like, okay, go forth and tell everyone this is strange new animal Europe and go hunting.
I okay, Frank, I don't think you understand. Like squashing the rumors, slash the scuttle butt as they call it in the military. Telling people there's a strange new animal they should go gun down is not going to like calm the masses. Remember this is in the midst of like the devil worship panic of the eighties.
Well, here's the thing, Like, well, I just also think that to be a very good movie. If like a town puts out a like, hey come one, come all hunters, just come just shoot things on this plot of lands, Like that's how we'll get rid of these aliens.
Yeah, that's similar to the plot of Pottersville. It's a movie with Michael Shannon where his wife is Christina Hendricks and she steps out on him with Ron, the Ron that has the big face, Ron Pearlman, the original Hellboy reprised by David Harbor in a movie that I walked out of in like ten minutes. It was the sound was mixed so poorly and you could like see the scene at the back of his costume. It was a bad movie. I feel so bad for David Harbor because
that was supposed to be like his thing. Do you want to call David Harbor by like three or four incorrect names before I continue?
Or David Harbringer. That's all I got, Okay.
So he walks in on Christina Hendricks and Ron Pearlman cuddling in fur suits, and she's like, I'm sorry, this is me now I'm leaving you. And he spirals out and gets drunk and runs around the town in a bigfoot suit one night and then everyone thinks that Bigfoot is in town and this brings like national acclaim to Pottersville. So are you saying, like, do it that way where they become like a tourist destination. But the thing is, you can't really do that because it's not Michael Shannon
in a gorilla suit. It's an actual hellmouth.
I mean, yeah, I'm saying, just turned into a mecca of just like like hunting. Just see how many you can back.
But Frank, these are not like skilled dema gorgon hunters. They're just gonna get killed. That'll bring more attention to the town. Holriser is not gonna like that. Uh, just claim the fixer. He's not good at it, but he's there.
Look, some of them may die, but the ones that's that survive will become skilled.
Okay, so.
Trial by fires is a trial by fire.
We're inviting amateur hunters into this town to hunt dema gorgans. How are they even gonna find the demo organs? I feel like the demic organs are a little bit hard to tack down.
Okay, So that reminds me of one of my favorite lines from Portal two, which has the wonderful J. K. Simmons in it. Huh, You're going through this abandoned lab and he's just doing like recorded announcements. He's like for those those who signed out to be injected with praying mantis DNA. We have good news and we have some bad news. The bad news is we're delaying that a test, and definitely the good news is we have a new test fighting a race of mantis men. Just grab just
grab a rifle and follow the out line. You'll know when the test begins.
I mean, Frank, wouldn't you be seduced by a mantis man?
Oh? Of course?
I mean, just imagine having a mantis blade lightly graise your cheek romance and they could think we are praying mantises like grasshoppers. Do they make noise songs with their legs?
I don't think so.
Yeah, I'm sure that they could play a violin though.
Oh probably, I would say almost definitely. Why do I find praying mantis is so cool but spider's so gross? That's a personal failing on my part.
I mean spiders are pretty cool too. Yeah, they're so creative.
I found out there's apparently levels of difficulty for different tarantulis.
What do you mean difficulty?
So like there's beginner difficulty where it's just like you open up the cage, that thing's just like, eh, whatever, it's gonna hang out. It's cool. And then like expert difficulty is you open the cage and they're.
Gone, Oh no, they're too fast for you.
Yeah, or they have a larger large amount of venom in there, like in their cheeks.
Do they get you?
They can that you some of them do.
Have you ever been spin at?
No?
I don't go near my house. My housemate has has spiders. I don't go near of them unless unless my housemate's on vacation. Then I have to spray stuff so that the spider, say, is hydrated.
Yeah, do you see the spider.
No, they don't have to eat that much.
Okay, so you're just hydrating them. Yeah, like they're at a festival where you're just sort of like, yeah, sprinting water.
Yeah, I'm literally the misting tent.
Oh that's cool. I'm sure that they appreciate you more and it would be less likely to spit venom at you.
Yeah. Anyway, speaking of things that could be cute if we were in a different time, we'll actually go get into the plot of these three episodes, and if I had our first episode we're going to talk about has nothing to do with demic organs. Almost none of them may cast appears that it's basically a bottle episode Eleven heads.
Eleven's aunt shows her a bunch of files that her mother had compiled about different kids with similar abilities, and she fixates on one of a young black girl and she has memories of her in like the in the bad Place basically. And she wakes up and her aunt is on the phone and she mentions Hopper. She mentions Joyce that they had come by, and she's talking to somebody and Eleven takes us as she's calling, you know,
Hawkins Labs. So she steals a bunch of money, hops a bus and heads to Chicago, Illinois.
We get a big city sort of montage.
She eventually finds our Mary Banditiez from the very first scene of the season, Kelly, Dottie, Mick and fun Shine. I thank god, all it okay. I I feel like fun fun Shine should have been called fun Size.
I mean that's a much funnier nickname.
So they are at first like, who's the guy with the mohawk. That's not that's not Mick. I know that's not his name. But there are a bunch of punks and they're like, what are you doing in here are you wearing overalls? Like, who's that guy from Who's the cool guy from Beverly Hills nine O two one O.
The cool Guy?
He was played by Luke Perry. Oh, Dylan, Dylan, Okay, we watched the original night in the overall he had a leather jacket over overalls and he was the cool guy. I'm like, what what what?
What?
Just jeans? Jeans makes that cool, not leather jacket over overalls. So they're making fun of her over her overalls. They're calling her Shirley as in Shirley Temple and the Mohawks. Dude like pulls a knife. He's like, you better get out of here, and she suddenly, you know, Telkannese is the knife into her hand and then spiders start appearing on him and guess what. Calli's just like, oh, you're kind of like me. We both have tattoos. Frank once again,
thanks boil boy. I wish everybody who was responsible for this at Hawkins Lab dog oh good. And they start talking, they start remembering things. Calli explains her powers that she can make people see things that she wants them to see, and they decide to use. They decide to use Eleven to find ah Papa or that to basically get rid of people on Callie's kill list. And the first one is this kind of orderly dude who is the one who did the electroshock therapy to Eleven's mom.
I think he's a doctor.
Okay. They find him at hit Well. First, they get first, they give first. They give Eleven a makeover. What did you think of her new look?
I mean it was very sort of eighties. I thought it was a good look. She I liked her bandana bracelet, and I mean she would fit right into like a dance club where they mostly played the Cure.
Yeah. Oh. They also Kelly also teaches Eleven to like harness her anger into her power. Like Eleven's now able to move like something big, like a bust towards her, just like just getting so angry. They give her a like baby doll mask, and they stop at a convenience store where Kelly makes a guy think the toilet's overflowing. They start stealing everything when Dottie starts stealing sunglasses and for the moment, I am reminisced of law from Logan Oh.
My gosh, yes, where they're like, hey, you can't see that, and she's like, I will claw you.
In the words of Logan, you gotta stop stealing shit.
I mean, that's a good dad figure there, right, being like, hey, theft is bad. It brings the police.
Yeah, so they take off. They get to the house, Kelly and Eleven like basically start terrorizing this man, and Eleven starts killing him but then realizes that he has two little girls and.
Stops, and Kelly says, like, show no mercy. He showed no mercy. To a certain degree, she is managing Eleven through manipulation.
Yeah, And this this sequence honestly reminds me of season three of Avatar the Last Airbender, Okay, where the mother figure of the group, Katara, is like, I want to go hunt down the man who killed my mom, and Aang, being the gentle soul he is, is like, revenge isn't going to help you. I don't think that's what you should do, And in the end, because it's a kids show,
she doesn't take revenge. But yeah, but it does lead to a larger discussion because Zuko goes on the trip with her to get revenge, and so he goes like, yeah, it's really good, really good that doesn't matter, like never mind. Well, it's just like I could keep telling him about Avatar till the till the end of time. It's so good. But but no, we're here talking about stranger things. So, you know, they leave the cops hot on their tail.
Kelly starts making Eleven. Oh the doctor says, Bremmer is still alive, and Eleven is like, that's not possible.
Papa is dead.
Papa is gone, and Kelly starts making her see Bremer and like Eleven is very angry about all this, the cops start storming the place. They are, having protracted shootout with the cops as they race to their van.
The cops must be a terrible shot, like an absolutely terrible shot. They are shooting at them non stop.
It's very much storm triple levels of terrible aim. And well, here's the thing. I think the plot armor was around these kids because like we, you know, we thought they were going to be used again. Turns out the fans did not care about this group at all. That's why I did not appear later in the series.
Oh really, you look that up.
Yeah, just one of them. Callie was supposed to appear in season four, but because she was so unpopular, and like the whole episode this is completely one of the worst, the worst episode of season two wow, because it does just like it does just kind of feel like we're just taking all the momentum out of the last episode where it's just like, oh, the demon the Demon Dogs are coming, and it's just like, all right, let's go hang in Chicago a little while.
Well, I think it also, if I had to guess, I would say I think that the writers struggle a little bit with what to do with eleven, because you know, they can't keep her in the capen for the entire season. She does need to take sort of a hero's journey for discovery. She discovers this terrible thing that had happened to her mother and sort of was the catalyst of
her mother's undoing. And like, honestly, I thought it was going to be that her aunt was evil because the aunt was kind of so disengaged the entire time, But then that wasn't anything.
And so.
This does seem like sort of a diversion that doesn't really pan out. But I was excited, Like when we first see Callie use her powers in the first episode of the season, I was I was excited. I was like, oh cool, what is this? And then it's sort of I guess they just didn't really stick the landing, you.
Know, I think, Yeah, I think. I think it goes to a larger portion of what I'm gonna call the X Men problem.
Okay, you can have a.
Large group of teens with various powers, that's fine, but you can't have them be side characters. Like if you have Calli and Eleven both of their superpowers, and then like there's more people with superpowers, then she just becomes the X Men and you're just like, well, why are we using the X Men? They're right there, like one of the Eleven has telkaness. Callie can make people see whatever she wants them to say, just like use that.
They're an unstoppable duo. And I think the way that they solve that problem of there and this is similar to Charles and I can't remember Magneto's real name, Eric, What is it Eric? Eric? Yes, Bill thought it was Magnets. I guess like Magnets. Charles calls him Magnus. Okay, I know this conversation is not interesting if you can't hear the second half. It is dill, but so Charles and Eric. I don't know. Eric is like a weird name for Magneto. I would expect it to be something like Magnus or
like Excelsior or something. But I guess he was just like a regular ass guy before he became Magneto, right, well.
Yeah, yeah, well he was a survivor and then he's just like, yeah, I'm killing everything. Eric Eric Lenschner. Okay, so Dil's correct. He is also called uh Okay, his birth name is Max Eisenheart, and then he also his alis is Eric Leshner and he also goes by Magnus.
Okay, that makes sense, And so it was more that I was just thinking, like, Eric is not an old timey name, and for Magneto to be on the timeline he's on, it seems like it would be very unlikely that he would be named Erek. But it makes sense that it's analias. So, you know, the reason that they don't get along is that they have a fundamental disagreement of how basically what is like morally acceptable for their approach.
And that's why, even though they both have respect for one another, they can't they can't work side by side because they want very different outcomes with very different methods, and so I feel like Calli and Eleven kind of want the same outcome, but Eleven's not comfortable with the methods. You know what.
Earlier this week Sassey and Night we were talking about drive Me Crazy, honestly designated Dave and guy from Entourage's conversation kind of fits here where I feel like Kelly would be like, you want them to like you, Eleven, tell them go fuck themselves?
Yes, guy from Andorraage Adrienne Grainier, star of Entourage, so that I don't think anyone talks about it anymore. So like I wouldn't be too worried about it.
But that's the thing, Like I haven't seen Adrian Greneer in anything. That's why I can't remember his name. He was such a good actor.
I do want to want to documentary where he seeked out his birth parents because he was adopted.
Yeah, I want to watch that. It sounds really interesting. But Eleven gets a vision that Hopper and Mike are in trouble and she heads home and once again another person on the bus wants to talk to her. I'm just like, this is Here's the thing I love about it.
I definitely was like, is that lady gonna be a secret agent? Because everybody's secret agent in the show.
I'm so used to the table writing of like, Nope, you can't trust anyone. Everyone's a secret agent, excluding this older woman who just seems to be trying to go home.
But really the older lady was just there as a plot device, so Elevin could be like, I'm going home to my friends so that we see that her heroes are. This circle has closed. She has come around to believing that Hawkins is her home and these are her friends again, and that maybe Mike is not totally in love with Max or whatever got her jealous previously.
That was it. So the next episode, episode eight, is just time to get out of Hawkins Lab. The demo Demo dogs are running everywhere hoppers like okay, like the power goes out. Jonathan and Nancy see this happening from afar. The most of the Nerd kids minus MIAs, Mike, and Will are walking back. Dustin and Lucas have an argument about Max with vine earshot of her. Probably he's not making her feel all that great.
I mean, this season, it feels like Max is poochy because at the same time that Dustin and Lucas are having an argument about Max. While she's there, Billy and his dad are having an argument about Max. And it feels like when Omer was like, when Poochi's not in the room, people should be asking where is Poochie?
Yeah, I mean Max is a much better character than Poochie.
Wow, blasphemy.
Okay, fine, Max is an equal character to Poocie.
Posci had to go back to his own planet.
Frank still one of the greatest Simpson jokes of all time.
Really, like give an oscar to whoever came up with that joke because it's so good.
But we all, I don't want to talk too much about the terrible scene with Billy and his parents and his father it's just it's abusive and it's awful and hard to watch. And but it does explain why Billy is the way he is. It doesn't excuse it. It just explains how why he is the way he is.
I mean, he's mirroring he's mirroring his father's terrible bullying behavior.
Yeah, and I haven't watched season three, so I don't know if this pays off. But he goes to the Wheeler house looking for Max.
Oh boy, yeah, it gets weird. Everyone's just like throwing it at Billy. I'm not even joking. It's just like because the town lifeguard.
So here's the thing. I get it, But like, spend more than ten minutes with Billy and you're just like, oh, I mean tryank.
Think about the Ted. Poor Ted. Ted was just taking a nap and then all of a sudden he's being potentially cuckolded.
Susie, I do not give a shit about Ted.
Wow, Wow, poor Ted. A man can't just nap in his recliner and not know where his kids are. Already eighty, that's his job. He's just there to neglect and be sort of toothless, Susy.
Ted's already cheating on Missus Wheeler. You know who's cheating on her with the American government. He loves the American government.
Oh, he really does. How did Missus Wheeler had so many candles going at the same time. It would be impossible to get into a bubble bath that perfect with that many candles lit without burning the house.
She really prepared for this bath. She's like, oh boy, my children are all fighting in other world. Like to mention, I only get to do this every once in a while. Well, I get to set up every candle I own in this house.
Yeah, but then Ted's just sitting in the dark. No one lit a candle for Ted, Yeah, because cuss.
Ted doesn't deserve one, because he loves the government. Where's their other child?
That's true? Ted, Like nobody has asked about Nancy and like a dog's here, Susy the other child?
There's three Wheeler children?
What? Oh? Yeah, there's like a younger son, right, the younger sister.
Where's she?
She's gone? That's so weird. I feel like, Okay, who knows to the show? I did not remember this character at all. I remember like a small blonde child maybe, but they were like, why are we paying this child actor? We already have so many child actors on payroll. Does anyone remember that there's a third wheeler?
No?
Right round? This is a running joke on mad Men too. I mean, like with the viewers of mad Men, is that there were six different bobbies, a varying like sort of success at acting, and there was only ever one. Oh my god, I can't remember her name, Sally Draper. Oh, it's been so long since I've done a rewatch but like I think one season they just switched Bobby's midway and like if you put the pictures side by side, you notice. But Bobby's such like a nothing character until
like season six that it's like eugh. And by then they're using the same Bobby because he's aged up into like an age where he can actually acts.
What I would have loved to see is a scene of John hamp switching out the two Bobby's Indiana Jones style.
Well, there's a joke when season six Bobby is at camp where he waves and says like hi Bob too, and Betty asked, well, what happened to Bobby one and because he's like Bobby five or something, and he said, oh, Bobby one left, and so like viewers were like, ha ha, the writers are making a joke about how many Bobby's there have been, which may or may not be true. I don't know. Yeah, they should make a joke about this missing Wheeler child, yeah, and be like maybe she'd
fall into the hell mat who knows. No one noticed. Ted was busy sleeping and Nancy was not Nancy what's his wife's name? Was busy cuckolding?
Not yet, she just.
She's concepts of a plan to cuckold.
Yeah, so.
Bill, but like the vibes, Oh my god, the amount of eye contact. This happens in like episode nine and the like. It's not even that big of a deal, but we spend more time on it than any of the other platforms.
Because it's so weird, Like this strange boy comes comes to her door, and it's just like, Hey, I'm looking for looking for my sister. But what's happening with you, honey? What's going on? Like, yeah, it's so this.
Is Ted posting on Reddit on the internet that doesn't exist yet? Am I overreacting? I woke up and my wife was talking to Billy. I can't remember the character's last name. Who Hargrove, Who's a horrible person? And everyone be like, I don't know, man, Have you checked your phone?
You mean the rotary phone? We haven't the den.
Have you checked the phone? Bill? I don't know. She's on the phone a lot.
Yeah, there's so many numbers.
I okay, just quick side note. I feel so bad when it's someone being like, am I overreacting? My spouse of however many years and we have however many kids, is on a dating app and everyone's like, no, you're not reacting this insane.
Why are you even asking us If this is not a mutual agreement between the two of you to open the marriage, then no, you're not reacting. Why are you posting on the internet. You should be filing for divorce.
And they're like, but he said it wasn't him. Someone's using his pictures And everyone's like, is your husband that hot? The answer is indubitably no. So I mean, what a good joke that would be. Though to be like, I'm it would be terrible, right, like no one should perform identity theft, but like to be like, I'm going to pick the most average man in catfish as him.
I'm here. I'm not here for top level, I'm here for mid level.
But I mean, it would actually be a more effective calfish I think, because if you told someone, oh, I can't get this guy to meet up. We've just been chatting a long time. I'm not sure if I'm getting catfished, And then you show your friends a picture of like literally the most realistically average man you've ever seen in your life, they'd be like, why why would this person be calfish? You can.
You've tried the best. Now try the okayist, try the rest anyway, So we cut back to Hawkins Lab. Will is like Mike makes a good point that Will is probably telling the Demon Dogs where they are. Joyce like asks him who he is. Will hesitates to.
Say, and who am I? And he like waits a beat too long?
Yeah, and Joyce's like, give me the syringe.
She's like, shut it down. He's been hijacked. Yeah, So what is that bug that hijacks like yep, like hornets and stuff by like clicking into their brains or like cocker ranches that and then they steer them.
Uh over other bugs. See. I'm so nervous to hit search because I know I'm going to see a lot of gross bugs. They're called hairworms.
Oh god, that's a bad name. I don't like that.
Yeah, I'm out, I'm out. I do have to see them. I don't want to see them.
Basically, this is what's happening to Will. He's being hair wormed by the Shadow Monster.
Yeah, and so they've knocked him out, so the Shadow Monster can't tell them what's going on, or can't send the demo dogs.
A monster can't tell them what's going on. So, guys, here's the t I'm gonna send some demo dogs to kill you. I'm so naughty. They're like, could you not murder us?
No? Did you late?
They're on their way.
So they guns have very guns only work on these things. When the plot says they work on these things. Sometimes Hopper is able to gun them down in two or three shots. Other times it takes a bunch and nothing happens.
It's there like a video game name for that, like when you shooted a thing but it like doesn't hit even though it should.
The technical term is plot armor. I think that. I'm sure there's a TV trope like thing about it. TV Tropes is a if you ever want to just waste away in like several hours, just go on TV tropes and just keep clicking. You'll you'll get plenty of entertainment. And so Hopper says, I'll go down to to turn like to flip the breaker and turn the lights back on. And Bob's like, yeah, but you still have to open
up the doors, you know. He's like, okay, and for that you need to know basic and hop was like, okay, teach me it, and Bob's like, I might as well teach you French. He's like, I'm gonna go, and everyone's like, no, Bob, you're Sean Aston. You're not made for action. You're not a hobbit.
Yet he is because he's rudy.
Yeah, the number one.
Guy cry movie. So Bob makes it Donte of Dreams, which is more of a guy crime movie.
I've seen neither of those movies.
God, Frank, how are we supposed to know? You need to weigh in on guy cries.
You know, when I watch women cry movies, I've seen Fried Green Tomatoes and men don't leave. Like we've been over us many times, it is true.
You talk about real men don't leave. Or is it real men or just men don't leave? Men don't leave like an inordinate amount. Yeah, but have you watched Beaches the Ultimate woman cry movie?
Not yet.
I will watch the guy cries. Haven't watched the woman Cries.
I mean, I've watched plenty of cry movies. I saw The Wild Robot openly wept during that movie. From about the last third of it.
I feel like, we live in a time is going to destroy me.
Well, you can just focus on that horrifying carousel horse.
I love that Prousel Horse. Apparently their merchants focused on that too.
In course of this, so Bob turned, Bob opens up the doors and then.
Just the tiniest more diversience. Is Lord of the Rings considered a guy crime movie? Yes, I consider it a guy crime movie. I consider it in all genders and even a non binary crime movie.
Especially if you watch the If you know about like what when Gimley's talking about Galatriel giving him three hairs from her head, if you know the lore behind that, it's heartbreaking. No not Gimbley, no no, no, no, no, it's it's good. It's good. It's heartbreaking a good way. So yeah, Okay, I'm just gonna real quick because I love this so much. So when they're sailing away from from.
Oh Frank, can I do a thing first? We're going to go to the bake sale. And if you want to hear the lure of Gimli and the three hairs from Gadrielle's head, you have to wait until after the bake sale.
Okay, Lady little Florian Gladriel says like I don't have I'm sorry, but she gives everybody gifts, but she doesn't have one for a dwarf, and he's like, get the only gift you could give me to look upon the glad the lady of the Lofloian one last time. He they're sailing away and he's just like, oh, I've taken a wound that will never heal. It's the last time I'll probably look upon her face. She was so beautiful, and he's like, I did ask her for something, and
Legs is like, well, what is it. He's like, I asked her for a single hair from her, you know, beautiful head, and he's like, she gave me three. And he's like, oh, I will call nothing fair if it's not her gift to me, and Legalis has a smile
on his face. And because Legolis knows there was this one elf, like the elf among elves who like so pursue Gladriel, and he wanted to use like he asked for three hairs from her head, and he was going to model the light of these three uh you know when they say like three elves three wings for the elves. He was going to model the light in these rings
on her hair because it's so beautiful. But she could see the selfishness and the like the evil in his heart, and she refused to give him so like, you know, the fact that she could see Gimley was just going to treasure this gift and how good he was in his heart, and she honored him three times above the
greatest Elf. That's when Legos is like, maybe we can be friends, and that leads that leads to the last battle where Gimli and Legolis are waiting to fight this in this horrendously outnumbered battle, and Gimbley says to him, I never thought I'd die fighting next to an Elf, and Legalis supplies what about fighting next to a friend? And Gimily looks up and says, I I could do that.
I do love that part also, of course, the old the part where I openly start weeping when the four Hobbits see King Eric Gorn for the first time and they bow and Aragorn just says, my friends, you bow to no one, and then everybody bows to the Hobbits.
Oh that is really sweet. Who plays Aericorn?
Thin go Mortonson?
Oh okay, we're right, Yeah, nothing else the Hobbits, Yeah, the Elms are fine. He pay plays an Elf, and so does Keith Blanchett.
I think, yes, she plays like Galadriel Ah.
The one who understands that Kimily is pretty chill.
Yeah, but of course, because like Kate Blanchett is beautiful, but it's like an other worldly beautiful where you're just kind of like, did she come from IRV?
Yes? I mean you see her as Tar and you're like whoa, and then.
You're like, whoa, look at her conduct the that orchestra to before the Monster Hunter soundtrack.
Spoiler her guitar Frank. When that happened, I went in not knowing I lost my mind. I was like, WHOA, what's funny is? I feel like people at work now know not to ask me for like movie recommendations, because I love stuff like Tar, like a three hour takedown movie about like a monstrous sort of genius conductor and then the movie ends that way. And a woman had asked me at work, like a coworker, like, oh what did she say? Guitar? And I was like I loved it, and she like returned it.
The next day.
I was like I couldn't get here this like okay, same thing with like every thing everywhere all once. I feel like the kind of movies that I really love and recommend are very divisive. So I've just started saying
it's kind of weird. But like like when I was on my whole Megalopolis Tip a couple of weeks ago, where I was like, it's amazing, it's excruciating for an hour of it, you're gonna hate everything, but it's so good and you have to see in the theater and people are like, what, okay, yeah, but now go back to the club. Has become a meme, which is amazing and I'm so happy.
Yeah, So to get back to another heartbreaking scene because it's Sean aston and and once again, this is where I thought we were gonna get like Bob's final betrayal where he's gonna like try and kill Hopper or something. No, Bob is trying to see do that.
That would be like such terrible writing where all of a sudden Bob becomes like a selfish monster and tries some murder offer. Can you imagine the message boards because we size the hero and Sean Asten gets to do his best getting eaten by a monster acting Yeah, I.
Can only imagine like he's definitely getting like poked by tennis balls on long sticks.
I didn't even think of that. It just makes us acting that much better, because like, how how would you act while they're like picture a monster here and you're like, well, no, it's a tennis ball on a stick.
Well, okay, sorry, just go quickly back to Lord of the Rings. So to give Ian McKellen an understanding where the eye line for the ball rog is? You know, from the you shall Not Pass scene, they had a tennis ball on a stick and they were holding it up where like this is where would be yelling at and he during one take he just shouts, you shall not bounce.
I love that. I'm not allowed to talk about Megalopolis, but you need to talk about Lord of the Rings more.
Oh, do you want to talk more about Michalis?
Go ahead, Yeah, Frank, the world cannot take my takes on Caesar Catalina.
We could always do an after credit.
I would like that.
The movie ends with a zoom in on a baby, and the ending scene is from crotch level of all the actors focused on a baby.
The Jaq Carlo just puts on the stage and then they start swooming. It's the baby. And at this point I'm crying, why what is happening? Joan Carlo is holding this baby, which may or me not being CGI the c g I. It explains why he's sold this baby so awkwardly. But then he puts it on the stage and it's just there. It's not crawling, it's not old enough to crawl. So it's just a baby on a stage at a New Year's party in Megalopolis, which looks
like absolute shit. And you know how like the looney tune screen zoomed into a point like around like bugs or porky. Yeah, that's what it does around this baby. And then the movie's just over and I lost my mind. I was losing it. This is why everyone needs this film. This isn't a spoiler. Becau has nothing to do with the rest of the film.
Okay, Yeah, so well we get a chance, we'll do the extra credit where Susie will just get however long she wants just to talk about Michaloppolis. So okay, I didn't. Yeah, Sizzy, I would not put a moratory when you're talking about that garbage film.
So genius.
Okay. So they everybody retreats to the just endlessly battered Buyer's residents and they figure they start formulating their final plan where they need to get They need to get the monster out of Will and then they can have Okay, Well,
first they want to talk to Will. They know Will still inside, so they take Will to the shed and basically Joyce and Jonathan start talking to Will, trying to get him to remember things, and Mike's there too, and like, every story just makes me more upset because I'm just like, Will is such a good boy, Like why do these
terrible things happening to them? Because like one of the stories is that Will saw a little girl crying and he wanted to give his tongue an trut to a little girl because she was sad, and his mom's like, we can't afford to get you another talka truck and he's like, well it doesn't matter, she's sad, and just like like I started crying to this party and so like, and another story is like how Will and Mike became
best friends. They were both on the swings alone and it's just eventually like but they realized Will is signaling to them in morse code, and he signals to them close gate, and there's a giant gate at Hawkins Live that's open, and so the plan is that they're going to take Will to Hopper's cabin. There they're going to try and sweat the monster out, and then once the monster's out, they're going to close the gate. But then they realize Will or the monster can hear through Will
the phone call. He knows that they're at the buyer's residence. All these all the demo dogs start coming there, and Hopper is preparing basically a last stand. He has a rifle and he's like trying to give it to Jonathan's like can you use this? And He's like no, and Nancy's like, I got it. She immediately just goes to Nancy like gunner mode, preparing to just shoot things down. I just love that. That's just a facet of who Nancy is.
Isn't it amazing to think, Well, Nancy is shooting down demo dogs, her mom is flirting with shitty Billy Yeah, and cut holding poor Ted Susy.
Nobody cares about Ted.
I feel like, and I'm going with me a stranger things that I take a random dude from an episode and I'm like, but what about this guy?
Let's see who list of people who don't care about Ted? Missus Wheeler, Mike Wheeler, Nancy Wheeler probably Steve so for Ted Susie. Ted is in love with the government. He doesn't deserve pity, so they they prepared to fight. Then they just start hearing these the demo dogs screaming. The door unlocks itself and boom, Eleven's back.
Uh.
Episode ends. Episode nine. Eleven is saying hi to everybody. She's hugging Hopper, She's hugging Mike. She gives the coldest of shoulders to Max. Max is like, yo, I was just skateboarding around your boyfriend. I have no not interested in at all.
Doesn't say that really does try with eleven two. She says, you know, I've heard so much about you. You're like something along those lines that Eleven's so cool, and Eleven's like, nah, I heard you from a man. Yeah. She's not having it.
Yeah. So Mike is very angry of Hopper that he was keeping her away. Hopper just ends up hugging him. They start putting the plane into action. Shitty Billy shows up. Steve tries to fight him off. Eventually Max brings him down and slams the nail beat. She first she sticks him with the sedative and then she's just like, you're not going to touch him or my friends ever again or me, and she like slams the base leffel of nails in between his legs and she's just like, let's
see you trying to douce. Uh, missus will without about this.
Obviously, Max is thinking about Ted.
In for Chad, nobody's thinking about Ted.
Still is where his Ted fan shirt right now?
That doesn't exist. Nobody cares about Ted fine, so uh, Steve, So the demo dogs, they realized the demodogs heading to Hawkins Lab. Or they're gonna head to Hawkins Lab. So Steve and Lucas and Dustin and Max are going to cause a distraction. Steve wakes up in a horrifying situation where a twelve year old is speeding down the road in a muscle car.
And he has a clear, leaking cust Yeah, he's hearing like echoes. His vision is blurry. He's confused and disoriented. Steve should be going to the hospital, not to a tunnel to fight demo dogs.
To inhale once again spores that we don't know what they do to you.
Yeah they good for Steve.
So, yeah, they set the tunnels on fire. We get one last running with Dart. I'm assuming Dark is killed along with the rest of the Demon dogs. They also stuff one of the Deva dogs into the fridge to preserve it, and Steve is just like, you're explaining this
mess to missus Bayer, so that's where they're found. Meanwhile, probably once again, the most upsetting scene is happening with Will, where they're trying to heat him up with space heaters and a fireplace, and we're just watching the two people who love him the most watching him suffer, and like, Joyce is so angry at this thing for you know, possessing her son and killing Bob that she's just turning the heat up on it and eventually it leaves his body.
She signals Hopper they start closing the gate. We get a power of love, power of friendship moment with Eleven using her anger to close the gate. We also get a beautiful scene of Hopper and Eleven driving along to Hawkins Lab and he's just like, so, what's with the whole new look. He's like, I think it's cool, and they apologize to one another and he talks about his deceased daughter. I start crying even harder, and eventually the
day is saved. We jumped forward to Christmas and the snowball, and we finally see these kids what they're supposed to be doing, which is just being normal as kids. Yea, like Joyce's teaching, Will had to dance. Mike is getting pictures taken of him by his mom and she's just like, boy, oh boy, I can't wait to go make out with Billy And you know, cook, hold your father or that.
That's not even there for the pictures. Want someone please think about Ted?
I want a why he's not there for the picture, Susy because he doesn't care? Just care, Susy. If you, if you love Ted so much, write some Ted fan fiction.
I will. Okay, but I find Ted came home from work. Ted drink half a beer. Ted took a nap, Ted woke up, said, failed to answer the front door.
Ted called something women's work. It was gender neutral work at best.
Who should we shipped Ted with? He's a mustache cop.
No, I don't know. He is government so they would probably love him. I was gonna say, Paul Reiser scientists, that's.
Such a better ship. Okay, Frank, you twist in my arm right. The Ted fanfic wait to.
Say I should write the Ted pic.
You do a better job. I've I've lost after Ted fails to answered the door again.
Ted and Paul Reiser don't know how to make a roast. They go hungry, yes, a little.
Bit, and then they perish. It's so romantic and so tragic. It's like a roast.
It's like a modern day Romeo and Juliet.
It really is.
They both now. Yeah, I think Paul Reiser's a bit Paul Riiser scientist is a bit more. No, he's still a sucky scientist. He probably going I think.
He fails, like at the most basic level, he does not contain the hell now it takes over the town. A bunch of people die.
Uh yeah, I was gonna say they both they die in Phil because the one will clean, because that's men's work in their eyes.
Oh man. So I knew that at the end of the episode we were going to get a flash of some sort of monster for the next season. And it was not as exciting as I thought it would be. It was more just like shadow monster still there and then it ends. But you know, next next Spookie season, I would like to cover this again.
Yeah, I just want to continue. We also get like Billy's just walking around in the background. Max is basically keep stepping and then uh, everybody's at the dance. Lucas dances with Max, some rando girl dances with Will Still call some zombie boy. Dustin can't find any way to dance with. And then Nancy is just like, in your face, nerves, I'm going to dance with Dustin.
He causes quite the stir.
Yeah, And then with Mike is standing off by himself, and then who comes through the door but eleven eleven? He Mike asks to dance. She says, I don't know how. Oh, and we get a paul Rise of scientist finally does something right and he gives Hopper a birth certificate with you know, for Jane Hopper, and he says congratulations dead Yeah, and he's just and like, how long does she have to stay hidden? And Paula is like about a year and Hoppers just like, oh God, this is gonna be
so hard to do. He's like, what about can't get one night? And he's like, what's so important about one night? Because it's the dance and eleven and Mike dance. It's very cute. That's when we get the big shot mind Flay is still around. He ain't gone, he ain't dead, and he'll be back for season three and so will we. But next week we're doing school Spirits.
Yay.
Is this is this a series or a movie?
I think it's a series.
All right, cool, all right, we'll do the first three episodes of that, and Spooky Season will end when we say it ends.
Because there is more goose Bumps.
Oh, we're watching the rest of the Goosebumps so well.
Did you see there's like a whole new watch McCall it. Uh god, season season. There's another season.
We got more of of. I cannot we can I not remember his name this one? Oh my god. Yeah, I'm so oh, I'm so excited. Yeah, we got to finish season one and then get into David Swimmer doing whatever David Swimmer is doing in.
This show, wearing a terrible wig.
His name is DJ Quills right now, that's somebody else.
Are you thinking about? DJ Quails? Which is the man's name, not David Schwimmer's name.
I'm trying to remember who the guy who kept being a weirdo in the first justin long as mister and Nathan Bratt.
Oh yeah, because he teaches at the school, right, Yeah, and.
He's just he's doing face acting, he's being a weirdo.
It's so good hot, right because he gets.
He gets possessed.
Yeah. Ah, so the Harold Biddle stuff comes back.
And then.
David Schwimmer apparently has said that this was his first time to play like a horror character. Goosebumps trailer shows David Swimmer in a spooky and mysterious Evils Bumps.
Oh okay, cool, well season two is not coming until next year. What yeah, I just look this.
No, I saw a trailer. Why are they showing me trailers.
To get two hyped? And then they did their job.
But their secrets. Okay, Well, we're watching School Spirits next week. If you want to write us about Goosebumps should be released earlier, you can write us at realteen Girl Talk at gmail dot com. We have an instagram, uh real teen girl Talk that Frank runs. If you'd like to rate and review the show five stars please, we would love that. And until next week, I'm Susie Codada