Finding the Right People: Deep Bonds, Medium Friends, and Evolving Connections

In this episode of Table Pancakes, Katherine and Shelbi explore what it means to have the “right people” in our lives, how friendships evolve, and the role of “medium friends” who may not be our closest confidants but still play meaningful roles.

• The power of deep bonds with given family, chosen family, and platonic partners
• Choosing to surround yourself with people who align with your values and needs
• The importance of mutual understanding and adaptability in maintaining friendships through life transitions

• The difficulty of setting expectations and boundaries in friendships
• How reciprocity works (and doesn’t work) in relationships, and why overextending yourself rarely benefits anyone (referencing Vibe Check’s Do It While It’s Still Legal and Danielle Bayard Jackson’s Fighting for Our Friendships)
• Understanding that no one technically owes you anything, but open communication and mutual care are essential for sustaining meaningful friendships

• The role of “medium friendships” may not be our closest connections, but they serve essential social and emotional needs (inspired by Lisa Miller’s The Vexing Problem of the ‘Medium Friend’ in The New York Times)
• The reality of friendship turnover—with 30-40% of medium friends shifting annually
• Moving away from ranking friendships in favor of recognizing each connection's unique benefits and limitations

Do you feel like you’re focusing your deep friendships on the right people? What is your perspective on the role of medium friends in your life right now?

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Connect with us: @shelbihq | @katherinehfoster

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