5 Tips for Better Swinger Event Experiences

[Ed] Want to know a few tips for swinging the fun into your favor? [Ed] Stay tuned for our top five tips for making swinging events more fun for both you and your partner. [Ed] Hi, I'm Ed. I'm Phoebe. And this is Swinger University where we're going to talk today [Ed] about five tips for better experiences at events. As you can tell, we're not in the studio. We are [Ed] high above stony lake in desolation wilderness. Yeah, we like to get out for a different experience.

[Ed] So let's let's keep on that thread. We'll talk about having better experiences at events. [Ed] One of our favorite tips and one we use all the time is to have a game plan before every event. [Phoebe] Because your moods change based on what you want. I mean, we sometimes we wake up happy. Sometimes we [Phoebe] wake up grumpy. Sometimes we want a threesome. Sometimes we want an RPG. I don't know.

[Ed] So what we'll usually do is we'll look through the guest list and figure out if there's any [Ed] people who we are really interested in getting to know a little bit better or even having some fun [Phoebe] with. And it just depends for who we haven't seen in a while. And then we make sure that we make [Ed] a point of trying to reconnect with them. What we'll usually do is the day of the event. We kind of

[Ed] decide what our game plan is. What is it that we want to accomplish at that event? So we'll get [Ed] together and we'll go, I'm kind of in the mood for this or what are you open to and half the time, [Ed] at least lately, we've been like, well, I'm open to everything, but let's just see how it plays out. [Ed] And even that, even the let's wait and see is still a plan. And without a conversation,

[Ed] you're going in blind. You have no idea what your partner's in the mood for. They may be having [Ed] a terrible week and you walk in there going, all right, game on. Let's go. And they're like, [Unknown] what the hell are you doing? I'm not, no, not today. Knowing what you're up for and each [Phoebe] together and where your partner's mental state and physical state is, what they're up for is

[Ed] very, very important. Right. And worst case scenario is everyone said, which is not the worst case [Ed] scenario, is that you end up just connecting with your partner a little bit at an event. And maybe [Ed] that's the game plan. We're just going to go there and at the end of the night, probably about [Ed] two hours in, we're just going to hit one of the playrooms and we're going to do our thing.

[Ed] Right. That could be the game plan too, but it's still a plan. I also know a lot of couples will [Phoebe] have sex before they go to the event. They reconnect so they feel really bonded before they go. [Phoebe] Sometimes they do it as a standard all the time. Sometimes they do it when they haven't [Phoebe] reconnected all week. They had a busy, stressful week. They didn't have time for sex, but they

[Phoebe] decide that that is their game plan. Right. Before the night to make sure that they are [Ed] connected before they go play others. Yeah, there's another positive to that too. And that's that [Ed] you've kind of got your juices revved up before you get to the party. So you're like extra ready [Unknown] for something to happen at the party. So I like that plan. We might have to start introducing that

[Phoebe] plan a little bit more. We've done that occasionally. We're reconnected after a busy, stressful week. [Ed] Yeah, more is better. Part two, be prepared for anything. And this is kind of a multifactor thing, [Ed] but the most important one is whether you're in the mood or not, have your go bag packed and ready.

[Ed] Because you never know once you get to the event, you may change your mind. You may decide, [Ed] you know what? Seeing this crowd, I'm down for some shenanigans. This might be good. [Ed] But if you didn't pack your bag, you're not ready for anything. You can't go. [Ed] Oh, and another thing that you could be prepared for is to have an outfit change. So maybe you're not [Ed] feeling sexy when you get there and you see what other people are wearing. You may want to change

[Ed] your outfit. A lot of times, the ladies will do a lingerie change partway through the night. [Ed] Depending on your area and depending on what the mood is for the party, you may just want to be [Ed] prepared for that. But if you didn't bring any, then it's hard to change. I've even talked about

[Phoebe] bringing different dresses based on the theme of the night, right? If you wear something, [Phoebe] but then you're worried that it might not actually fit the theme or you're worried that somebody [Phoebe] else might have your same costume. Right. And you know that that's just going to throw you off, [Phoebe] bring an extra outfit, or you're leaving the house and you're like, God, it's pinching a little

[Phoebe] here on the side. I'm probably not going to be comfortable this all night long. But for the first [Phoebe] hour, it'll be okay. And then I'm going to change into this other thing because I know that's [Phoebe] really comfortable. Right. I have done this before because having your mental, physical, [Phoebe] all comfy is very important. Otherwise, it just throws you off. Absolutely. [Phoebe] Part three, huddle at halftime. Oh, yeah. We're not big sports fans, but it's a good metaphor

[Ed] for what we're going through. If someone catches your eye at the event, that's also a good place [Ed] to re-huddle. So you look through the guest list before nobody caught your eye, but you get there [Ed] and you're like, oh, I've changed my mind or my mood just changed. And either one of you can have [Ed] that happen. Maybe both of you did. That happened at our last house party. We both looked at each other

[Ed] and like them and yes. Okay, let's go talk to them. Get together partway through the evening. [Ed] And as you're wandering that party, reassess your feelings. You know, things change depending [Ed] on the mood, the atmosphere, what the foods like. Yeah. And we have the game plan going in, [Phoebe] but then that changes. Right. You have a conversation with them and all of a sudden things just changed.

[Phoebe] Maybe you felt like they were dissing you for the last three parties and you're like, well, [Phoebe] I guess we're off their list now. You know, and you feel a little, you know, but hurt. And then [Phoebe] think them up to you and talk to you and you're like, oh, well, I guess we're back on.

[Phoebe] You could just never know. You just never know. And this is key. So having a good time doesn't [Ed] necessarily mean that you're going to score that night or that you're going to have a sexual [Ed] encounter. It could also mean to have a good event means that you decide not to play. So let's say [Ed] at the beginning, you said, we're all on. This is the couple. This is what we're going to do.

[Ed] I've got my outfit ready. We have our go bag. Let's go. You get to the party and then you go, [Ed] oh, hell no. Yeah. That is still a good, this method still works for having a good positive [Ed] event. At the end of the night, you go home and you're not mad at each other and you left intact. [Phoebe] And that's what's important to have a good event. I've said to add, I'm just not feeling it

[Phoebe] tonight. Nobody is interesting to me. I'm not I'm kind of feeling me right now. I don't know if

[Phoebe] it's me. I don't know if it's the vibe. I don't know if it's the venue. I don't know what what it is. [Phoebe] But then that could change. Right. It could change in 20 minutes. Having these little side [Ed] pedals are really important. Right. It could also change when the hot couple that didn't show up [Ed] at the beginning of the party shows up late in the party and then you both look at each other and go,

[Unknown] oh, yeah, that. We're in for that. Keeping in mind that you're there with your partner, [Ed] assuming you're not a single showing up, seduce your partner in order to score with others. [Ed] So as long as you keep each other in the mood, you're going to have a good time. You're going to [Unknown] flirt with each other. You can have a good conversation. It releases the serotonins and the [Ed] dopamine and all the things that we talk about all the time in terms of chemicals in our brain

[Ed] that sex does for us. And if you guys are keeping that chemistry going, it one makes you look [Ed] sexier to other couples, but you feel sexier with each other. And it kind of turns the night [Ed] positive, even if it's maybe a ho-hum party. You're having a good time, which is what's really [Ed] important. And here's the important thing. At the end of the night or halfway through the night,

[Unknown] or within the first 20 minutes of the night, I don't know. You decide that you guys are revved [Ed] up. Maybe you had your four sex and you're now going to have a during sex. That may actually [Ed] inspire other couples to join you, which can kick the whole party off. So it's always a good [Ed] thing to be into your partner and have a good time with your partner and to keep them excited [Ed] about the whole thing. Last one, this is the hard one, I think, for a lot of people. And that's

[Ed] closing the deal. We were at hedonism and there was a couple who'd come up to us and they said, [Ed] we're great with having conversations, we're great with meeting people, we have no problem, [Ed] we figured out those hurdles to kind of break the ice and get to that point. But we can never [Unknown] close the deal. We talked to so many couples and it just doesn't happen. Having a agreement with

[Ed] each other and then go up to that couple and just make the offer. Yes, you're putting yourself [Ed] out there. Yes, you may be rejected. But if you don't ask, you're never going to know. [Ed] We went through this at the last party. We were like, hey, would you guys be interested in going [Ed] back and playing in one of the playrooms? And they said, yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun. [Ed] If we hadn't asked, we could have just continued carrying on the great conversation, smile, laugh,

[Ed] he flirt a lot a little. And nothing would have happened if we hadn't made that approach. [Phoebe] I can't tell you how many times this happens at events where two people really want to get together [Phoebe] and no one can close the deal. And so it just doesn't happen. It's a very small push and then [Phoebe] you're there. Right. It's amazing how just that little ask is so creates so much fear.

[Ed] Right. And I'll give another example. This actually happened at the last party too. There was [Unknown] a woman there and she and I have been having this sexual chemistry for a couple of years now. [Ed] Neither one of us have approached the other. It just didn't seem like it was going to happen. [Ed] And this time she made the approach. She came up to me and I was like, oh, she's into this. [Unknown] Okay. Yes. Absolutely. This would be fun. I'm down. And it's having the courage to like go

[Ed] up to somebody and make that offer for it to actually happen. As a matter of fact, you're probably [Phoebe] not going to get anywhere if you don't make the offer. Yes. Don't usually just fall into your lap. [Unknown] Although that can't happen. It can't happen. All right. Ready for the bonus tip? We said, [Ed] five, we've got six. Here's the sixth tip. Pull the rip cord when you need to. Yeah. [Ed] So it's not just at the end of the night. At any point, if either one of you is feeling like,

[Ed] I don't feel right about this. This is not going well. The music is too loud. I can't carry on a [Ed] conversation. The food made my stomach upset. Whatever. It doesn't matter. It's okay to

[Phoebe] call it a night and head home. It's a bit of a bummer, but it's okay because we know the [Phoebe] effort that went into getting ready. And we know the money that you paid to be at the event. [Phoebe] But guaranteed you learned something from from that interaction, right? And or we just don't [Ed] like that venue. Maybe the layout of the house just doesn't fit well with what we're doing.

[Phoebe] There have been house party layouts that just do not work well for me. Right. That's how it goes. [Ed] One of the really important things when you do pull the rip cord and you decide to leave an event [Ed] is to have a conversation about why you did it. Was it just a mood thing or was it something

[Ed] someone maybe specifically said to you? Who knows what it is, but it's important to be able to talk [Ed] about it afterwards because if you talk about it, you might be able to mitigate that for the next [Ed] event. And that's the important thing in order to have a long term happy event experience.

[Ed] Sometimes it means closing an event early so that the next one is even better. And if you learn [Ed] from your mistakes potentially or what happened or what went wrong, then your next experience is [Ed] going to be even better because you're you're learning as you go. And because we've had these [Phoebe] discussions, it has helped me a lot because when I pulled the rip cord, I felt guilty for robbing him

[Unknown] of a good time. Right. So I was willing to sacrifice some of my preferences or desires in order [Phoebe] for him to have a good time, but but that's that's that doesn't work. Yeah, it is not working out

[Phoebe] very well. This is an us thing and it's an experience we want to have together. That took a little [Phoebe] for me to kind of get over feeling guilty like that I was robbing him of a good time because the [Phoebe] woman is a gas and the woman is the brakes learning to own that that power and being comfortable in

[Unknown] that was also a growing experience. And I think that the more you have those conversations with [Ed] your partner, the game plan before the game plan during and the you know potential and I would say [Ed] talk about it even if it was a positive experience. What did you like about it? What you know what

[Ed] went really well for you? Relive those feelings and those memories like when we have a really good [Ed] party the the after talk is great and super sexy and we have we feed off of that for a week [Ed] or a month or depending on how good the experience is years later if you make a podcast about it

[Ed] and then you can just talk about it over and over and over again. So it's important to reconnect [Ed] with your partner and connect with your partner on a regular basis and have those conversations [Ed] and you're going to have a better event because you're having these types of conversations.

[Ed] Every party isn't going to end in an orgy of delights but with a little planning and preparation [Ed] and conversation with your partner you can maximize your chances for fun at all of your events. [Ed] Thanks for tuning in. We appreciate you checking out our podcast listening in and hopefully you [Ed] learn something don't forget your homework tell a friend about our podcast and if you want

[Ed] leave a review or a comment at the very least leave a little emoji you know interaction

[Ed] and that feedback we love it. You can also if you have a fun story or maybe you had a positive [Ed] experience because of some of the advice that we've given you or you had a good time at a party [Ed] because you had a game plan call us at 916-538-0482 we've voicemail with as detailed and dirty as you [Unknown] want or the only ones who listen to it we love to hear it and if it's really good and you give us

[Ed] permission we might even use you on the show so there's incentive you could be famous. [Ed] You can also contact us at swungeryuniversity.com and as always keep learning keep growing and keep [Ed] it sexy want to know a true want to know a few tips for oh one last thing before you go if this [Ed] episode helped you in any way the single best thing you can do to support the show is leaving a [Ed] rating and review it takes 60 seconds and helps new people find us when they're searching for

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