The past - I can see why on the one hand it isn’t always true and can change but at the same time if I think about people with alzheimers or brain damage who’s memory is damaged we can’t argue that memories and a sense of time are crucial to live independently and interact with the world. It is dangerous to not have that - forgetting to turn off the gas or where we live.
What is healing? Listener question
A brief summary of this episode
Non-violent communication. Marshall Rosenberg. Sunday book
Great blog as always... It leaves me with the sense that I'm still not seeing something. There is a sense that what thoughts are 'paid attention to' and which aren't is somehow within 'my' control. What you're saying is that this is not true. There is no 'I' to direct awareness. So there's confusion. In your work I understood we were exploring and noticing the 'programme'. In the noticing and new learning, a new 'programme' is formed. But if there is 'no thing' directing awareness how does this ...
Seeing that we are the awareness watching this mind body system make choices, and there is no impact to make “out there”, I’m really watching my system go into “well what’s the point then”, in a way dissolving any of my past externally driven motivations. I also see how from here it’s just watching the system do the next thing there is to do, including doing nothing or sitting with this confusion. If there’s no world out there to make an impact in, then there’s really the freedom to experience w...
With this understanding we attend so much more to all the things that are happening inside which can lead to very strong experiences and I wonder how to deal with this overwhelming state, especially in situations with other people?
Since we all have our separate realities. Words like Peace, Joy, Happiness, etc. are defined differently by each of us with our separate realities. Because our definitions will all be different, are any of the definitions of these thoughts and feelings True/Truthful?
I’m about to start the Be the Change course and I’m worried what it will do to me. There are so many things I want to change about the world and I feel as someone with values that this is important. I scroll through social media and I see the videos of violence and the confusion out there. It makes me feel sick and anxious and often I can’t sleep for worrying about the state of the world - especially if I have listened to the news late at night. I am worried that you are just going to say well s...
It always surprises me how some of my vegan friends are offensive towards me as someone who eats meat. Is being Vegan really about the love for animals? Well their offensives can go off the roof. Do they really fight for animal rights or just protect their values? This question came from the conclusion that even the most altruistic act is driven by selfishness to get something for the SELF. Like my own example of going volunteering to the dog shelters. At one point I saw how doing this is for me...
I have been incredibly emotional lately. I cry a lot, actually so much that I am wondering if that is still normal. Also I was very irritated in some situations at work and afterwards I felt like it was really unprofessional to lose my temper. I think I have always been a very emotional person and my feelings are always very intense. I only let myself have them at home and with very few people I trust a lot. In all the other situations it feels too dangerous and I kind of make sure to always kee...
I’ve been doing some exercises around the ‘headless way’ which involves noticing that there isn’t really a person looking ‘out’ at experience, there is just an expansive nothingness. Through the exercises ‘I’ have seen this, but the nagging question keeps coming back… How can it be true that there isn’t a centre to experience when what ‘I’ experience is also unique to this body, these eyeballs etc.? If I was blind or deaf, I would experience the world entirely differently. Does this not imply th...
Hi Clare I was brought up by a mum who was very anxious about what people thought of her. She would often over commit to helping others and end up exhausted. I can see the same tendency’s and lack of boundaries in myself and so I try to say no but then I hear you talking about unconditional love and I get confused. Does it mean always saying yes to people?
A relative of mine was recently sectioned and diagnosed with psychosis. I understand psychosis to be a condition in which contact is lost with external reality. I spoke to them just before they went into hospital and I could see that what they were saying did not relate to my understanding of reality. But aren’t we saying in the conversation that there is no external reality any way. If that is the case then aren’t we all psychotic if we believe there is? How come there can be degrees of reality...
I hear a lot in social media about gas lighting. I haven’t experienced it myself I don’t think but every time I hear it mentioned I wonder how can there be such a thing as gas lighting if there is as you say no objective reality. Can you help with this please?
I’m a member and fan of your subliminals. Great to see how the mind is kept out, and the body still reacts on the hidden messages. I used to be a hypnotherapist and would like to know your opinion on the use of plain Hypnosis (a different technique, as you know, from subliminals). With hypnosis, the brain is not kept out, you actually hear the spoken words. It works as a program on top of another program and I’ve seen with clients that sometimes the ‘old’ unwanted program returns. I wonder wheth...
I just watched the mental health webinar und I heard something I never heard before. You said: 'All conscious experience is a healing place for us' and you also said that the physical is healed here, too. Can you say more about that? It's funny because it feels like I never heard this before AND I don't know what you mean, apart from seeing the conditioning, but is this healing? Doesn't feel like. I am sure you have spoken a milllion times about that.
Do you think identification squelches our unique desires? Example: if I am with a friend and they are talking with enthusiasm and excitement about going on a backpacking trip. Prior to this conversation I didn't have much desire to go on a backpacking trip. Or they want to watch musicals, or they want to try a dance class....etc. Now there's a sudden "I want to to do this!" impulse or urge showing up. Is that a genuine desire? A form of conditioned patterning of a desire that's a form of compari...
“Relationships are not meant to be fun” What? Why? How can you say that so confidently?!? When I left my first marriage, I could have said exactly what the listener said in your podcast. I know I did not do my work then as it was all about him and why I couldn’t continue to be in the relationship because of how he was. However we have 3 children and so have stayed in touch and actually have a lovely relationship even though he has not changed in any way that I can see. So I can honestly say I lo...
Book recommendations from Tia: The Body Remembers Volumes 1 and 2 by Babette Rothschild, these really helped me understand the power of adaptation and that even behaviors we judge as "bad" had some type of intelligence for survival, even if they are no longer useful. These are written for therapists/practitioners so some chapters people might skip, however I find the case studies relatable and helpful in understanding why therapists make some of the choices they do. Call of the Wild: How We Heal...
In one of the last recordings you said something like: The truth of us… Before the layers of conditioned separation… Before that just life in a form - intelligence just doing what made sense. So much science is now showing how trauma begins often times before birth. A fetus is taking in so much from the host/mother – all her fears, traumas, etc. This can even change the DNA and start the process of potential disease that will manifest years later. So, are your initial statements true? If so, whe...
Wow, I’ve just listened to the shame part of life cycles and to one of the 1-1 recordings on this. This is it, this is everything that has dominated my life, my whole life. I carried shame from a very early age, I cannot remember a time without it. Shame is all encompassing, every area of my life. The decisions I’ve made/make have been driven by shame. Withdrawal, isolation, working so hard to create the self-image that will hide my shame at all costs. I just feel wrong. The wrong body, the wron...
When you see that your problem isn’t realistic, but brings up all kinds of kind created insecurity. How do you get to a place of knowing what ‘the child’ needs? For example, I’m unsure if my job is a good fit. Changing careers brings up feelings of anxiety and insecurity and I try to distract myself. I don’t really get the concept of inner child work. Can someone point me in the right direction?
I have a question for your podcast but not sure of the exact question- it’s something like… The personal development world is filled with ideas, concepts, tools and techniques on how to change your life. To overcome money blocks, lose weight, find love, be successful in business, be visible and popular etc. I see within Personal Development there’s a mix of focussing on personal agency and also focussing on an unknown force sometimes called ‘universal laws’. I remember experiencing tremendous fr...
I’ve heard you mention before that when we try to ”redirect attention away from thought” or “back away from thought” that we are kind of missing the point (something like that). I Feel like I’ve been caught in that pursuit for some time now, and I feel like I’m finally seeing something. It seems that when the mind takes on that goal, it then always comes up with an image of an “I” that is failing at the goal. Like the “I” that can never stay focused on the present moment or the “I” that cannot k...
My husband & I are separating we still see a counsellor to keep up communication. I see that I love my husband (plutonically), I see he is a good person even though we don't want to be together anymore, I feel there is good will towards him. But the counsellor says that we are still stuck in a blame cycle. I find him too sensitive, emotionally immature, prone to sudden mood changes, he takes everything I say as a criticism. He thinks I critise him, I think ultimately I lost a lot of respect ...
I started listening to your circles material after being introduced to it by my friend Ines. I have the membership so now slowly exploring the other content as well. Ive done years (decades) of meditation and non duality work and been in therapy my whole adult life, yet I feel like I always come back to this reality of my life right here and now. I haven’t been able to figure out exactly the circle I am in - I find myself in a repeating pattern of retraumatisation through work. Every job I take ...
Thank you for the Life Cycles course, so much has come to the surface. I see that Shame and Fear have been running the show all my life. Shame of not being good enough and Fear of what others will think. Coupled with this has been the huge sense of responsibility of getting everything right including agonising over making the ‘right’ decisions. I see that I’ve permanently lived in a state of fight, flight or freeze and that this has attributed to my many health issues. I currently have a health ...
I went back to listen once again the shame part from our wonderful life circles course. As within this circle the identification with the self as a doer and chooser is really at the highest level. Holding the grip firmly with feeling enormous responsibility for my own words, actions and behaviours. I see it as a self feeding/maintaining circle as when it's set it goes round and round by itself. Until there is an inquiry of who we truly are. Being in this conversation seeing more and more that th...
A question about insight. It's often heralded as the "all that's needed" and sort of a reward for good behaviour in the form of a quiet mind. (3ps. And yet it seems to me to be one facet of healing. Almost as though as layers of thought are lifted from reality we may arrive at some insight which is more like "seeing eeper into truth". Would you speak of nsight and healing please? Perhaps you have a podcast on this already?...
