Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Sir, I need you to come. Yes, sir. Here today would coach Kevin Pettis, head coach in Georgia, head coach in Florida and many last year at FACA, he's real active in the FACA officer I believe, is that true? I was FHSA board member. FHSA board member, okay. I knew that and actually many last year at the FACA conference and I mean we hit it off and it was like we've known each other forever.
Started telling stories and you know we found out and knew some of the same people and Coach James Thompson told me he absolutely had to be the first one on here. I know he coached at Pachelley House, he's a head coach at Pachelley House School left there and went to Dr. Phillips in Orlando and then left there and went to, who's the name of the place? V-Land and then left to land and went to Crestview. Oh I missed Crestview, Crestview and then Seabree, what was it? Seabree?
No then it was Sebastian River down by Vero Beach. Sebastian River and then from Sebastian River to Charles. Correct. And then this last year he served as OC at Mariana and Coach I know one thing that made me laugh is I mean I guess because I know about where Pachelley was and you know they want to stay championship last year in GIA but the story you told about going to interview for that job something about when you wrote up who was coming out or something I can't remember but just.
Hey I'd tell you about it, I had talked about that at the FACA, no joke. So I go up there and I, we just want to stay championship in Perry and Taylor County, Florida and I was like you know it's time for me to go be a head coach and all I'd ever dreamed about and so I got on that Georgia dent and I started looking.
At this point in time it was probably 99, I remember everybody was scared to death that the damn banks, credit cards weren't going to work when we got to the new year you know because the computers were supposed to reset. It's going to be the end of the world. Why 2K going to kill us? I remember saying up, waiting to see what happens and the lights didn't go off, everything was on the time, the TV changed, I didn't suppose to do.
So anyway I'd already, I'd seen him in my resume and the reason I was looking at it was like I don't know if I'm going to be very good at this thing and that was honest come true, I've been an assistant coach and I loved what I was doing, I was OC and I just loved what I was doing but I was like you know I don't know if I'm going to be very good at this so I'm going to go out there and find a job that I can't sell at that it can't be terrible.
No matter what I'll be better and so sure enough I got that jelly job or I'm going to get the jelly job and the principal called me, set up an interview and I'm like heck yeah man, I'll come in there and talk to y'all for sure and I remember I left a pair that day and my truck drove up there and got there on K-Surf on the jelly high school and it was an afternoon job or afternoon interview and some said there was an evening interview
so the guy called me and said well depending on the number of interviews he said do you want the first or the last? Well I always heard that first impressions were best but the last impressions were better you know so I said I want to go last and he goes and I was serious Chris I thought they've got to be because I was thinking he goes when he was telling me and I can't tell you what I'm thinking but he was like what's the first impressions that he was saying right now but here was John Albert?
No John Albert was my guy though he was there when I was there but well I got some stories about that too. Oh and John was swearing, oh Lee I got some stories. So when we get there and he goes he says Coachy said we're going to an afternoon interview and the interview is going to start and he goes you know you're my second call and he says the interview is going to start at 6 o'clock. Now 6 o'clock we'll get everybody 45 minutes, 15 minute break and then in the hour we'll start up okay.
He says you'll be first or last because I want to be last. He says we'll make you last and I'll give you a call when it gets closer. I said awesome that's great and so about three days before the interview he calls me after it closed at 6 and now they start at 5 o'clock or something like whatever it was. He calls the coach you're interviews at 6. So there's two of us.
Good God if there was some guy on the bench it's something I can't remember his name but he was like Pechelli Glen or Hardaway Glen or something crazy. Oh yeah Glen is Hardaway yeah. Yeah that guy yeah he was like an adult special needs guy that like followed. 1000% Yeah and he was like a huge fan and that was like his way to you know that was his like he couldn't point you know he wasn't an athlete but that was like his way to be active and involved.
And so like I'm sitting there getting emails like 8 a day from the sky to the point like hey dude I can't just answer your email you know. Yeah he's like a super fan. Super fan yeah unreal and so anyway so the interview comes and I walked in there and I'm in a tie and you know me now I don't wear a tie that's the last time I wore a tie.
Last time I wore a tie and this was like it was so cold up there in Columbus it was like February and look I was so broke dude I drove my truck I left the ferry that morning or that afternoon and drove straight to Columbus. Interviewed and drove straight back.
I get there and I'm sitting out there on this church pew out there in the hallway because it was connected to a church saying and I'm sitting out there on this pew and I got a little bit early because I didn't want to be late and by that time the door opens. I'm waiting as soon as walking out nobody's walking.
I hear some like metal clanking on the door and shit like that I'm like what in the world and by that time I was looking how you got out trying to look away and out the corner of my eye dude I see some feet coming out and other things but they weren't walking. I look up and the guy just kind of wheels out in the wheelchair wheels right past and I said I was like hell I got to get this out. I don't get this. We in trouble.
I'm just gonna go back be at an OC coach no line and I got to be happy with that. They ain't no way. I walk in there and the whole time I'm in that interview and they're popping questions of again thinking like yeah are we really doing this? Are we going through the process? I just need to know we're going through the process. But y'all get in this right now. Like what? Give me the job. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I remember every day I remember sitting down for that interview with Shelley and I tell people to solve the problem. Dude I've had and I talk about two jobs that I've had in my life. Honestly guys I talk about it. I tell people to guys I've applied for jobs and I've gotten two jobs. My first two jobs. The first job was a job that nobody in the country wanted. Nobody. Nobody wanted that for Shelley's job. Me and a guy that wanted. That was me. A positive job.
And I think he was like he did something with the church. I'm sure. I mean I don't know. He got in there. And I like and then I had a job at Dr. Phillips where 265 people applied. A job everybody wanted. You know. And I love that job at Shelley. But I remember when I got the job that the principal calls me and he he says coach and I'll never forget the reason I brought that up was it was the same day as this. It was like New Year's Eve or like it was like I'm waiting on the dagum world again.
Right. And he calls me that early even say hey would you come be I need you to be our AD and I find it great. Yeah. I'll take it. And I remember I go up there and there's a guy that was the that took the job for one year. Nathan Rustin. I don't know if anybody remembers that name but he was a play for coach Brian at Alabama. He was a Phoenix City legend. In fact, it was a picture in his office of a picture of him. In Phoenix City coach Brian and who was the governor of Alabama.
They got shot Wallace Wallace. Yeah. George Wallace. George Wallace. There's a picture of Nathan Bear Bryant and George Wallace where he when he signed or whatever in his office. And I thought that's pretty cool there. But he ended up being the assistant principal. God rest his soul. Anyway, so we get there and he was the one showing us around. So I go for the interview and then he was going to take me around. He showed me the facilities.
And we got in the we're walking down the hall and he said and I'll never forget. I mean I almost can remember who was on I remember the classroom. They call sites and they're from forever. I can remember the he was walking me around and as we start walking across the parking lot to the gym. He said coach I used to look I just been I just got asked guess what is the coach and he goes I looked at the resume and he goes they fire you in Perry in Taylor County. I said no. They don't fire me.
He goes it was the why in the world would you want this job. I said coach I'm just trying to break you into being a head coach and I thought it was a good job. He goes well I said why didn't you do it last year. He goes I'm gonna be honest with the only reason I did it was I didn't want the program to die. He goes I've been here forever and I just didn't want it to die. So anyway, we're walking around Nathan Russ and great dude. So we're walking around and he showed me the facility.
He goes this is the gym and I thought that's awesome and he goes this is the log everything was good so where's the weight room. He goes well he's I'm gonna be honest with you. He says he goes back when I was in school when I went Alabama you know weight lifted what you know we didn't do a whole lot of lifts of weight. He goes so we really didn't utilize us. Okay well can I see the the the area he goes yeah. He goes he takes us into the weight room coach I promise you is a great big old area.
Half of it was you know you remember those little office partitions were like like phone board or or pin boards where you get. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Well they they they had half of it pinned off like those little things all the way across and I want to say Cobus or Corbis or somebody that was the principal's name. Now that was just remember anyway so they were all roped off and they was a old universal machine we had bench press on one you know what I'm saying.
Yeah you see it yeah. You just had benches and you just kind of rotated around that's all they had is there. And I'm like coach like and at the time Georgia didn't have weightlifting as a sport but it was a sport we did you know and I did it when I was in high school. The coach did all that they had. He goes you know this is it. I'm like oh my god there's no way.
So and he looked at me he goes this is no joke we're walking across I said do they have any feel of what they have a get everything you know from the last year's team he goes y'all give you every one of them. He gave them to me and we're walking across the parking lot and I'm like coach how was it how did it get this way. He goes well look here coach he's I'm he was and now Nathan Russell anybody out there that knows Nathan Russell was the greatest person I had ever met in my life.
He was he was my he was my relief because every time it got bad I would go see Nathan Nathan like coach hang in there. So as we're walking across parking lot he said coach he goes I don't know if you know this but the guy that interviewed before you was in a wheelchair. I said yeah I got here early he goes yeah he was in a wheelchair so you know he can't show demonstrate how to block and tackle. He goes so hell I'm sure you got the job.
I'm like well can I get some feel for what y'all play like he goes yeah he goes coach he goes he goes he was like I've been embarrassed but I'm embarrassed but I did it because I was just the AD and I was doing it for a year and it was just I'm not retired and I just I did it so the program they asked to do it for one year till they could find the coach and I was like cool and so he gave me the film and I promised you land this is no joke.
So I take it home I'm so I can barely wait I get home it's late and I go in there and I and I put it in the VCR that's how long ago it was and I'm watching it coach. The first game I watched was Pachele versus Central Talbot.
Yeah and it was so bad and I look at it I'm watching and I got and I'm looking at it and this is the first game and so I'm watching it and I'm like what and I look down there on the sideline from how Pachele filmed it and they was the guy down there they were I don't remember if they were paint spray painting a one to make it a seven or I don't know what they were doing but they were making it so as an eligible number and I thought
I just come off of Perry where it be closer for the state championship. Now I'm saying that there is no way. There is no way. We paint numbers on Jersey. Oh Jersey. It is unreal. And I'm like oh my god. Oh really. It is bad. And let me tell you something. And they were filming and this is when they filmed everything like you let it run like I don't know. Oh yeah they didn't break in and break out the hurdle. Right. It is like from the space shuttle or something. I'm like there's no way.
And I remember watching it and I was getting what in the world they do and so I was like oh we watch. I watched this and I'm like there's no way to just have it. And so and I see such a problem in the U.S. and they're warming up and they're filming them warming up and they're filming them doing office plays and things. I'm like there's no way to tell him to sit in the beat that bunch. There is no way. Ain't no way. They look like Greek guys.
Then I watched and started playing and I'm like oh my god. And I'm telling you it wasn't even a good pillow fight. Not even a good pillow fight. I'm like this is awesome. How long did you stay at Batilli? I was there for five years and we won 30 games in a row, regular season games in a row. We had three years on the feed. It was great. I'll never forget that probably one of the best moments of my entire head coach career which I've been a head coach for 25 years.
I'm telling you right now or 24 years whatever it is. The best job that we ever done. I'll never forget it. We beat Miller County where they had lost a region game forever and they have Brandon Miller there and we beat them for the region championship. I mean we won the region championship two or three years in a row there and three years in a row and it was phenomenal. It was probably the greatest feeling.
And I'll never forget up to tell you we had a priest and he was finally an athletic priest. Hold on I gotta talk about the priest for a minute. God thanks. Listen, so then I'm going to get to Miller County. Listen, we go in that mud and it's my first year I was jazzed up. Me and Nate that are going through the helmets. I said coach Russell, what the hell is this? And I pull a helmet out and I said I've never seen this in my life. He goes I said that's old school helmet. I said it's got webbing.
I swear I'm like dude there's eight of these. We didn't even play your notes. I'm like dude the only thing you could do to that helmet was fold it up and put it in your back pocket. I'm serious. The only thing you could do was fold it up and put it in your back pocket. I said coach. My God. I'm glad nobody's in jail. I never shit. I go to a father straight who's a great dude. Love him to this day. He made it work being there and I went up to father. I said I got a new helmet.
I took the Roddale guy with me. Jim Anderson. I said Jim you got to go with me. He goes why? Because they know I can believe it. We didn't have this is no joke. We only had 12 helmets. 12 helmets. That was not over two years old. Yes it's forward. I said father we got to have helmets. We got to cut a lot of people. And so I remember we ordered helmets. No Jim Anderson from Roddale. He got he he rented me a truck to move to Columbus. I remember we was living in an apartment. There were so many.
I'm writing a book that I'm going to hopefully one day publish. I kept notes from all these things. This is one of them. So me and Jim get there. We got a Roddale truck. We go and we empty it off in the apartment. I go to the high school. I go to the high school. I go to the high school. One of the assistant coaches has the kids come and help me move in. I'm back there. One of my coaches from Perry goes to see this one. Matt Jones who by the way is doing extremely well in his realm.
He's in real estate now. I'm a lot of the dude. Matt Jones is the offensive lineman. He's the guy that helped one of my guys. He looked at the old Matt. He says hey son do you like doing up down? He goes what's it up down? He said I don't worry about it. Wait just for this one. You'll find out day one of what it is. We get there. We move in. It was an absolute. The first year it was good. It was so much fun. I was there for five years.
I remember going through and I asked the friends for Mr. Cobas. I can't remember. How many people can I bring in? He said what if coach none zero. He goes what? He said we got to make it work. Who did I have from last year? He gave me their names and I called all these people. Can you meet with me at this time? Yes. They come through there. I thought I was interviewing for the head job. When he called me and this is so pitiful right now. You're going to laugh.
This is in 99. I was offered the head job at Thomasville high school. 2012 or 2013. The guy said hey tell me how many coaches. He said coach we want you to come be our head coach. That's awesome. How much is it? He said what would it take to get you here? I thought I was shooting for the stars. I thought I was going to give him a number. He's not going to take but maybe he'll come back and I'll have to renegotiate. $45,000 and I'm the guy. He said done.
That tells you how mad it is here in Florida. He goes done. You've got to be my AD. I'll be your AD. I get there and start calling coaches in. For everybody that's listening that's a Columbus Georgia person. He was a young guy with that Columbus state. He majored in education. He comes and walks through the door. I call him Jeff Battles. He's now the AD for the greatest. He loved the guy. That was the nickname of college. The guy turned it in but he went by me.
I called him up and said hey coach Battles. Kevin Pattles came by and said yes sir what time. I said we do nine o'clock. I should have known if he was still in college by the graduate. I said can you do nine o'clock on Monday morning? He goes yes. I said awesome. I'm walking in there and I'm waiting on him. He's late. I'm waiting on him. He walks in with a white shirt.
The reason I know his nickname was me was because his undershirt in the back had his fraternity number and there were neat written across the back of it like a book. The shirt was so wrinkly. It looked like a sharp adole. I said I'm thirty years old. He's probably twenty one. I'm not that poor at moving to college. Dang you have iron shirts. Throw it in the dry or something. Something. I'm so sorry. I'll be real with you though. You got the job. Do you want to come back? That's how it is.
That's what I'm starting to see right now. It was so much fun at the cellar. It was the greatest time of my life. Honest to God. Was that the place where the coach called you in the middle of the night that you had become good? I'm about to tell you Randy Grace. Just call him out. I love him. He is the Windsor Academy head coach. He's the one who's been doing this. He's the Windsor Academy head coach. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So Grace loved that dude. I absolutely loved.
Randy Grace was one of my favorite people. So we're sitting there doing, I'll sort of God. I used to have to, I think I let you listen to it at the clinic. Right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So Randy Grace was the head coach at Montgomery County. And what's his name? That was at Swainsboro for a while. He was there too. He was the head coach for Randy was. And a letter went to Swainsboro. Yeah. Anyway, I can't remember the name. I'm getting old bill way.
So Randy Grace was the head coach at Montgomery County. We played him and Randy, my first year, Randy Grace. And I got to be buddies. And so anyway, after he got let go at Montgomery County, he calls me. He said, Hey man, I got to let go of Montgomery County. Would you, you want to, are you interested in hiring anybody? I said, Well, look, I thought, I know you'd spread it out. I said, but I could, I'd use you as the defense coordinator. He goes, All right.
He goes, but I've never coached defense. I'll teach you everything you need to know. So he, I believe, listen. And I hate to say this on live television or radio, whatever it is, but here's what I'm telling you. And he okay, the biggest scam ever committed. I got so many Randy Grace on the history of education. I said, Randy, we got a computer science job open. Have you ever taken a computer science? He said, No. That's all right. Well, are you interested in computer science?
He said, not really. That's okay, Randy. I said, um, the only computer. He goes, No. Have you ever taken a computer class in your life? He said, I've taken a type of class. I'm like, shit, son. I go, do you have a computer? Yes, feel. Here's what we're going to do, but you need to tell these people you're going to get your masters in computer science. He goes, Yeah, that's it. So you got to do both. So we go there and we get into job at computer science. So he becomes a very important part.
Like the biggest change of fame he has and my opinion other than winning a state championship at Windsor and all. That was this. And we played up to Shelley when it was playing in the G H S A, you know that I was region coach of the year three years in a row. Whatever. I mean, we played when it was real. It was Taylor County. It was Miller County. I mean, it was a great little deal. And so, uh, he shut, he shut out Brooks on three years in a row. Three zeros. That was our big deal.
And so anyway, he gets a job there. Such a great dude. Love Brandon Gray. So anyway, he became friends with people in town. So we paint the field on Thursday nights. We go out there painting. He'd go out on Thursday because, you know, Columbus is still a college town with Columbus State there, right? People, so that's it for he was a young kid, not married, you know, and so he would go out on Thursday nights. Well, so we kind of got on a winning streak.
Like it at one time we had Randy Grace, the math, this guy who is the AD at Columbus High Jeff battles, he's a county AD. I mean, we had a great little staff there. And so he, uh, so Randy Grace, we kind of got a win streak and he'd go out on Thursday night and, uh, or on Wednesday nights. He's Wednesday night. He got a Wednesday night. He was some, some buddies, so he'd go out on Wednesday night and everything was good.
There's a place there in Columbus called the brickyard or something like that or brick house, something like that. Or I can't remember what it was called. But anyway, what's the downtime of Atlanta that they went off and tried to make their own city? Oh, three or so. Oh, yeah. Two or three corners or? There's something in there. There was a, there was a place there in Columbus that was named one of these big restaurants in Atlanta. You know, anyway, so anyway, there's a guy.
He comes up to me because he had a cojangles and they give it to me. He says, Hey man, did you get a call from Grace? I said, Yeah, like four of them, but I was asleep. Well, let me back up. So we painted the field initial paint on Wednesday that I walked through on Thursday and then we finished it up Thursday night. Well, so we did the paint job on Wednesday and we kind of got on a win streak going and, and, and Grace would come in on Thursday and he wasn't feeling well.
So anyway, he tells you to do it. I can't go out tonight. I'm like, No, bitch, you going out tonight. We ain't changing what we're doing. We got the field. Don't worry about the field. He said, I'm broke. I said, here's 50. Go have a good time. So he goes out the next morning. Oh, I just say that Mr. Batten pulls up and he goes, Hey man, he goes out. I just say that Mr. Batten pulls up and he goes, Hey man, he goes, do you get a call from Grace? I feel like four, but I had that.
I was asleep and then I figured he comes in late anyway. He goes, listen to this. So he pulls up his voicemail and it's Grace whispering into the phone, whisper yelling into the phone. Hey, you can hear the sirens going off in the background. He goes, Hey man, hey, I can't remember them. I sit here and listen to him. Hey, hey, they locked me in the bathroom. I got locked in the bathroom. I can't go out. He's like, the long story going on. Dude, call me back. I need to talk to you.
I need to talk to you. You hear all the sirens going on because the cops tried to door. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? It's this place. I am absolutely dying. He shows up to work that day, pissed off at me. I don't know. It's your call. Yes, he left me out there, dude. What do you want me to talk about? I didn't get to it. It was the funniest thing you have ever heard in your life. That he got locked into this bar. He passed out in the stall or whatever. Whatever he did.
They were some other things that were so good about that whole job. One day, Mr. Albert, this is Mr. Albert's story. It was Thursday. That worked for him at Aquinas, by the way. Oh, did? He's a different dude. Different dude. I got to tell you about the theater we had at the time. Anyway, he's a French guy, I guess. I don't know. I ain't never eaten French. I've never eaten French rice. I'm telling you, anyway, that's another story. We go in there and I had a little duty first pair.
I was walking down the hallway. We were going to lunch. That's lunch. I walked by Grace's computer lab. I looked in there and I see Mr. Albert sitting in his chair at his desk. I'm like, I hate Mr. Albert. As I'm walking in the office, he goes, come here, coach. I walk in there, you know how he talks. Come here, coach. I said, I was like, yes, sir. He goes, where is Mr. Grace? I said, I know he's been here. I don't know. I saw a lady. As soon as I get out of here, I get on the phone.
I'm like, well, I first asked him, what's going on with Mr. Albert? He goes, he has his evaluation. I'm like, awesome. I don't know. I get on the phone and he asks, where are you at, dude? He goes, oh, man, I'm sleeping in my storage closet behind me. He had a little storage area behind. He just had the little room. He had an in-room in his little storage area. He said, where are you? I said, hey, dummy, Mr. Albert is in your classroom, sitting at your desk with students. Wake on me.
Oh, my God. I am dying. I take off running. I'm running out of the outside room. I go around, I look through the big windows and the bushes and watch Randy Grace come out of there. The greatest day of my life. Run! I get out and watch. I'm telling you, Randy Grace is a professional. He is a pro. I'm telling you, he's a pro. He walks out and he goes, hey, Mr. Albert. I'm in shock. Hey, Mr. Albert, hey, sorry. I was having to put the computers up in the storage, up in the attic. I'm sorry.
My bad, my bad, hey guys, I need everybody to log on to your computers, use this as, I'm like, what is happening? He goes through. I'm so glad we got this. I am absolutely dying. He goes through like a chance. Like getting his feet or staying turns. I never even heard of him. We were getting fired that day. That sounds like I could have come through that. That day. That was a great new race. Take care of the year. He won it that day. He should have. He didn't. He's been up for, I'll tell you.
I gotta tell you about the daggers dinner at Albert's house. Well, I remember. I'm from a little town called Weewood Hitchfield. Weewall, Florida. Hey, I'm so country. My birthday cake was four bread growing up. I mean, it was bad. So I'm up here and I'm hobnobbing with these cats. You know, one of my best friends was Jimmy Hall, who owned all the chicken chickens there in Columbus, you know. And I don't know. I just go country boy.
So anyway, we go there and I'm hobnobbing with some of these big timers up there and went to the finance church. So Mr. Albert, he comes to me and he goes. Now, when I was there, I had like three trims, right? And so, this is John. When he first got there, he called me into his office. He's a coach. He says, I was told that I could make any change. I want to make it the spoon with the exception of you. I said, well, he says, not more to the reason I can replace, change, fire, anybody but you.
Can't touch you. I said, well, that's good to go. Appreciate it. This is a vote of confidence right here. And now we'd already finished our first undefeated season. So I'm like, okay, cool. And so he goes, so when he goes, I'd like to have you over for dinner. You and your wife over for dinner. Mike, okay, cool. Let's say seven, 30. And I honestly got to think, 30 that late. You're an hour and a half from my bedtime. Like, you know, my cup of tea. So we go in there and they have this cheese.
As you're sitting there talking with me and my wife, him and his wife, and I think another couple came in and go was and so I'm sitting there. And they got this cheese out with some crackers and this cheese is oozing out of like, what? That ain't even like cheese. Like where's the Belvedere? Where's the cheddar? Where's fountain? And I go, Mr. Alba, I ain't never seen cheese ooze like that unless it was on a grilled cheese. And it was Belvedere. He goes, Mr. Pettus, it is a bari.
I was like, what? It's a bari. Is that a cheese? He goes, yeah. It's a cool, I ain't mean, I'm good. So we go, we have the Belvedere. So then we go, and I didn't know this. So like every single dish coach is a small little deal. Like they give you, like you walk out there and they bring you your appetizer. Okay. This one little thing, you eat it up, then they come out here and they bring you your salad. Okay. You eat it up and then they go to the kitchen and bring out your main course.
Okay. Well then you eat it up and then they come out there and they bring you your dessert. Okay. Then you eat it up and then they bring you out your palate cleanser. And so I'm sitting here like, what? It's the hell are we doing? This is at the man's house. It's the man's house. It ain't a restaurant. This is at his house. No restaurant at his house in Columbus, Georgia, right behind the Mormon church, right there on Makin Road or whatever it is. What? God, they know what we're doing.
And I'm just looking at my wife and I'm like, hey dude, this is ridiculous. Dude, he's just 10, 30. We get the palate cleanser. I'm like, yeah, it's pretty listless. And I'm just like, I didn't know where he was at. Now they look at this thing. I mean, he is about, I don't know, probably five, six, eight maybe, right? And about no less than 400 pounds. He was a big man when I worked for him, yes. Big man.
And I'm telling you, if you just walked up behind him and I'm speaking from experience and just kind of tugged on his trousers, they were falling straight to the floor. You ain't got to tug hard. You can ease them up like big belly guy. Plus some good. So we get down to eat and I'm like, oh my God. So we leave there and I'm like, never again, never again, never again. So he goes up. And I'm like, I don't know what to say. He goes, coach, what did you think of your meal last night?
I said, I thought all the food was delicious. Tell your wife I said, I appreciate it. Thank you. He said, okay, good. I'm glad you guys, I did. I'm the taste of gravy was awesome. I said, I don't know what the dessert was. I said, but kind of like heated up pudding. Am I right? He goes, coach, coach, coach. That was Creme Roulay. He said, Creme Roulay. I said, what's the main item? And he said, what's more of a custard? I said, so put in my right. It was good.
I said, but I do have a question for you. What's awesome? Is there any way you could have served all that one time? He goes, that's not how the French do it. I said, well, that's a good thing. I'm not in France. My God, it took forever. He goes, what was the talent you said you were from? I said, yeah, we won. My God, that wouldn't happen if we won. I promise you, we had the pudding, all the most things done, and 30 minutes, we'd have been out. So we got investigated, dude, we got investigated.
You got resorted. So we had a couple of kids when this is about where Shaw was Shaw. Charlie Flowers was the head coach. So I go to a Georgia Tech clinic and there's a couple of kids from Columbus that they're throwing the ball. And there's a kid named Chuck E. Joe McQuarrie. Chuck E. Joe, and I told this to everybody in the world. People have called me, especially when Charlie won the state championship. Yeah, I'd say, they said, hey, you know, y'all were there.
Y'all were the original ones that turned it around. I said, yeah, but I said, they asked. I said, look, I didn't turn anything around. I said, it can all 100% be contributed to a young kid named Chuck E. Joe McQuarrie. He was a backup quarterback at Shaw. I saw him at a clinic and I talked to him and I was working at the clinic. And Steve Campbell was the O-line coach at Georgia Tech. He was the O-line coach at Georgia Tech. And Steve and I played football together at Troy.
And so I stayed up there for a couple of days, helping them work the camp. Anyway, Chuck E. Joe transfers to the chilly. Well, he had already left Shaw. Went from Shaw to Spencer, where he wanted to be the guy. And he really transferred from Spencer to us, but he just hadn't attended class there. And then his cousin, anyway, it became like an influence. The kids came to the chilly, like four or five of them.
And so when he's come over there, and this was like, I mean, like the day we started football, maybe we'd already started football practice, I'm not sure. But anyway, so I called Charles Flowers and said, hey, dude, I got this guy from Spencer. But he said he played for you and wanted to talk to you. Charles is a good friend of us. Chuck E. Joe McQuarrie is a coach. Great player, can run, can do all these. I mean, he is a great player. I said, great. I said, he goes, he's at your school.
I said, yeah. I said, man, is Chris Gane he is too? I said, Josh Bland is. And Gordie Grislaw, he goes, who? I said, Gordie Grislaw. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And I said, hey, Chris Gane. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The last three is like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I go, why, why he goes, they played for me. I go, I don't know. They enrolled in school, coach. He's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. And so I was like, coach, I'm just telling you, I got a call.
I've never spoken to those people in my life. So anyway, we go through this whole deal. And so we go undefeated and we're killing it. I mean, we had Matt Dunham to broke Robert Tunes ready to touch down. I mean, we're just killing it. So anyway, we get to the last game of the season or we get a couple weeks for the last game where we played Brookstone. And so we get a call. Dr. Swarington calls. He said, coach, play the tape. This is it. What does a Ralph Swarington?
He goes, coach, this is a Ralph Swarington. Hey, Dr. Swarington. What's going on? And he goes, can I try to get involved and get to know all those people, whatever state I'm in? So I says, hey, he goes, we got a complaint. It's OK. He said, I'm going to send it to you. I just did you to send me everything you got on it and that way we can get it cleared up, especially y'all are undefeated and the board of playoffs. It's OK. Awesome. He calls me and he goes, you'll be getting a letter today.
He says, OK, I'm glad you called me. First, I go up there and tell my principal because he's a nervous man. So he'll absolutely lose his mind. Am I right? Correct. Because he's an athletic guy. No, not even close. Don't care. Nothing about athletics. And I know if he ever, if John Albert ever walked across that park and I did, I'd hear you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, if you had to talk to him, it was not for, he wouldn't ask you how your day was. Man, he wasn't coming all the way out there. Negative.
He'd call you on the phone. And so, I'm glad you called me because I ain't going to explain the rest of the day. So I said, yeah, I'll send you, when I get the letter, I'll send you everything you got. It's all legit. We talked for a while. He goes, I've never had a problem with you guys. I'm not worried about it. But I got a coach who's complaining about it. So I get on the phone. I call Charles. I was a coach for hours. I called you about these people. You know I didn't recruit you.
He goes, I know, but my parents are on me. And I'm like, OK, because you all were killing it. And I said, show her too. I mean, y'all are too. And he goes, but you know, we got some injuries now. And I said, OK, whatever. But you know we didn't. He goes, I've already talked to the swear engine and told him that you called me the day they showed up. I said, well, I appreciate it. So anyway, so I hang up. And about that time, I mean, it wasn't, I knew what time the mail ran.
And about that time, we're getting ready to go out. And this was a Friday coach. This was a Friday. And we got a game and we're playing Taylor County at Doughboy State in Fort Benning. Because I knew some guys from when I served at Benning. And so we were going to play at Doughboy State. We're playing Taylor County. We're about to get on the bus. And we look up and here comes Albert across the park lot. I'm like, boy, this ain't good. So he comes across.
I said, Coach, can I see you for a minute? Just nervous. He goes, yeah, come on. He says, I got this letter certified mail. He goes, I said, he goes, and I think you need to read. I said, hold on a minute. And I love the message. I loved it. It was better than anything under the planet when you could mention. Because once he told me I was untouchable, well, then I'm just going to mess with you now. I'm going to enjoy myself. And I said, hold on a minute. I better know who it's from.
He said, there's no way you could ever know. I says, GHSA. Why yes, Mr. Bates. That's who it's from. I said, let me think. Anything, anything, anything. I said, I bet it's about Chuck E. Joe McQuarrie, Josh Bland, Lordy Rizwall, Chris Gaines. How could you ever know that? I said, look, you know, my dad's a pinnacle, some print to do. We ain't nothing. We ain't a catchman. So I know he goes, I don't think you should talk like that. I said, listen, I talked about the swearing earlier today.
I said, I've already sent him all this stuff. He said, you didn't let me see it. I said, why? I said, it's just a statement, a statement of power from George Piper. I don't know what else I could, I thought we could feel. Is when they enroll, what we can send to them. He goes, okay, well, good job. I said, I said, you know how many times you tell me to stay in my lane? He goes, that's a mistake in your lane. I got this. So we go on and we beat Taylor County.
We come back and we're getting ready to play something. McIntosh Academy, MCA. McIntosh Academy Academy, yeah. Yeah, okay. So that was the story. So we're playing them at our place. That's the day that the quarterback turned around and spiked it. But he turned around completely backwards and spiked it. And we scooped score to beat him. They're trying to win the game. But anyway, so it was all sort of short. We're getting ready to play them. And I'll tell you, we already got done three game meal.
We're taping. He comes down there so giddy, like just shaking his hand like a lady. Like she's trying to draw off the bank fingernails. You know how to do. And he goes, coach, we got cleared. We got cleared. I was like, I told you that what I'd be like, we didn't do anything wrong. I mean, John Alba, my God. I used to joke with him. Like, don't you wish he'd have cut that eyebrow? He was a different dude now. Now he came from Aquinas. Yeah, I was a Aquinas in the late nineties from 95 to 2000.
And he left the Aquinas and went to the cellar because we were sister schools with. With Patelli and I didn't, I'm not Catholic. So I didn't know what was going on with that part of it. Anytime they had any of that kind of stuff going on. But I know. I'm not going to go to either teacher. Remember how they would have those little things? Yeah, I didn't get invited. It's about me either. Hey, don't invite me. I mean, they have Ash Wednesday and they'd have the cross on their forehead.
And I look at the kids and they're like, hey, you got something in your forehead. And they're like, dude, it's Ash Wednesday. And I'm like, that just means Easter is almost here to me. I mean, I didn't know. And then like the first time we said to Lord's prayer, and they didn't say for the King and the power of the glory. And kids like Elbow and me going, coach, coach, coach. And I went, what? And the kid that was nephatist that went to school there was like, coach, they don't say that part.
And I was like, oh, it took me a while to kind of learn all the little, you know, ins and outs. So we went Father Madden, my first year, Father Madden. We'd go to Country Barbecue in Columbus to eat a pregame meal. Well, Father Madden was the priest. We had Father Straight with the head honcho. And then you had Father Madden and another one, a big old heavy set guy. And so the heavy set guy was in our favor. But Father Madden was an Irishman. I think it was Madden.
Anyway, so he would, he would show to the, my first, first ever, we're playing Mount Zion, getting ready to do it. We're doing a free game meal. Or maybe I came out in Trinity up there in your Mount Zion or something. They were coming and playing out. Anyway, we're getting ready to say the blessing. And he starts saying the prayer. This is no joke, coach. He goes, Father, I know that we never win. And I know that chance those women's bags are very good. But I want us to play with great sports.
I said, ah, father, father, appreciate you. Thank you. I need a rubber. I think I say everybody by your head. I'm sitting here and I was like, my first year, I wanted to use the joke. I couldn't be everything that guy just said, bullshit. God. It's what I wanted to say. So I give him good old, good calls to Holy this prayer. And he walks out. Father said, call me the next Monday. And I told him what he said. He said, well, you should appreciate it. I don't mean to.
I'm telling you, tell you, it's got a lot of places in my book that I'm going to write. But tell you, it was a different animal, brother. Hey, I got to take one more story. I know we've been on one. I got to take this story. So we had, and I'm not going to use this name, but he was a colonel at Fort Benning and all of your listeners who served in the army out of Fort Benning, you know how these colonels are. They are no adults. They know everything about everything.
And his son played office alarm for me and anybody from a cell that played back in the early 2000s will know he talked with a list like that about the dad, the kid, so he was hammering me up in the sand. Hammering. Now, look, we ran the wingteeth of Wayne. We ran the wingteeth. You know, it was great. And we had a thousand-year-old rusher every year. It was great. So anyway, we'd get up there and I'm sitting there, and he's hammering me in the sand.
And my wife was like, hey, there's this one guy. Like, oh, my God, he is killing you in the sand. And we're getting that first, you're getting the break speed off of us. And we were playing in Middle County, maybe in Telencounty. They had a diagram, Wayne back, tight end, tight end that was so big and strong and fast. He was like, man, he was telling me these plays and what you should be doing. I said, well, next time, tell me come down and give them to him. We're getting me that bad.
I might need them. Just so great. And so anyway, he comes up to me and goes, he calls me at least as coach. He says, I want to come give you some plays. I said, all right, well, come after school. I'm going to talk to you. We didn't tell him what we were talking about. I want to talk to you. So we'll come out and come at this time. Kids are getting ready to coach. And he was a little bit late. I'm sorry I'm late. I knew I'd be here.
But hey, listen, I ain't going to keep you, but I got two plays of score. They will score every time you run. I said, all right, we'll show them to me. Hey, coach, I got my pad out. And I got my then practice schedule ready to go. And I'm ready to walk out to practice. I got my practice schedule ready. And so I take out a sheet of paper out of my little thing. And I'm looking at him and he's drawing it up on the board. And I'm drawing up the formation.
Like, I mean, I am a student of the game at this point. I'm like, all right, this is saving up there. I'm like, all right, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. And so he draws it. And you look, you got 12 now. You can't have 12. He goes, oh, this is a good one. You got to put somebody else on non-streaming. Oh, yeah, this one. And he's drawing up the plays. And he's showing me the blog. He's in his coach. I like it. I like it, Colonel. He gets the answer. Hey, now let me ask this question.
Is the quarterback reversed out? Is he front out? I mean, I'm asking questions. Because I know Colonel's are attention to detail. I serve their attention to detail. So I'm trying to be a good soldier and a good coach. I'm asking questions. He said he got them drawing the plastic. Man, that's awesome. Appreciate you, man. I got to get to practice. And I put it, play in my pocket. I go to walk out. He said, whoa, whoa, coach, coach, coach. He said, I got two of them.
I said, hey, if that's what I score every time I run it, I don't need that second one. He said, he starts laughing. Feels like you did. Coach, are you trying to tell me to mind my own business? I said, no, I'm just saying, though, if that scores every time I run it, hell, I don't need that second play. I'm good. I'll run this one every time. And we didn't get a great three-time win. That's the fact. That happened. Jeff Battles was sitting there dying.
He said, hey, how did you know how to do that? I said, listen, sometimes you just got to let them talk, brother. Sometimes they just want to talk. You just got to let them talk. Well, you are absolutely going to have to be a recurring character on here because that is just one of your mini stops. I got so many great ones. Here's what people go over here. I coached a team, honestly, got at Zopperkiller, that had Barry Larkin's son, Jim Griffin Jr.'s son on the team. Yeah? How about hilarious?
Oh, I'm sure that you definitely have to come back and share some more about that. And you guys are hilarious. I'm so glad you allowed me to get part of this. Well, I'm so glad you agreed to do it. This is what we're trying to do. Just stuff that we talk about at clinics when we get together. Whether we're telling stories on kids or telling stories on each other, I don't think the average everyday person understands the level of nonsense that we deal with. There's no way.
Whether it's kids that tell us that they caught two cobras with the bare hands. Oh my God. Yeah, we had one do that. We shared that with a recruiter the other day. We had a recruiting fair and the college coach was looking at us like, I think y'all are making this up. And I'm like, no, we call that third period. That's a normal day. That's a normal, freaking day. I had a kid one time, you know that little website for the hearing impaired? Were you type your messages?
I had a parent that's jelly come screeching up. I mean, her core. Get her night down. Come on. Where's my kid? I'm like, man, he's in third period or second period. No, he's been murdered at the birth of James. I just literally saw him walk in the glass. This dummy got into Randy Grace's class with all my hearing impaired and it was out like a police. I was like, I'm not going to let that person that had been killed at the murder case. That's fantastic. Unreal. You can't make this up.
No, and we deal with it every day. I love it every day. Well, brother, I love you, man. I appreciate you. I hope to see you. You're going to be at a Nike in Orlando. I think the coach has got me talking. So you're speaking. All right. All right. All right, buddy. Well, I appreciate you. All right, brother.