"Valentine's Day" w/ D'Arcy Carden

Podcast starts now, what's up everyone around the globe? But the vibes are already electric. It's Friday, it's sunny as fuck.

It's Friday in Los Angeles, and I'm living out loud.

I want to say, I'm feeling so electric. George is in town still and it is so nice.

You know what we never did speaking of Los Angeles is the game that I invented heim Lick never caught on, which is where you say three things and then you have to decide which one's the Dannielheim, which one is the STI him, and which one is the Alanaheim.

Well, I think we're not dead yet, and I think we can play it today.

Yeah, and I also I know that you thought of the name heim Lick, and I like it.

But I'm like, yeah, you thought of you thought of it.

What if it's heim Pick because you're picking one to be each of the sird I mean not.

To be we're talking about Hollywood hand Book. I think you're a Hollywood handood pill and you're really zeroing in on some puns in a way.

Though, Oh, that's try'd being very well.

I do want to make it public that I am officially Hollywood Handbook pill me too. When we went into Hollywood, which if you're listening to this, maybe that hasn't come out. We did Hollywood Handbook. I went and I said, first of all, this is a competition, and second of all, I'm winning.

I said, just let them win.

I know these straight.

Guys are bigger than me, they're better than me. Let them have their fun.

When we were like sparring, like when Hayes was like clearly being sort of like in a funny way, mad at me, I was like, you think I'm going to back down.

You have it all wrong, my fe You're so good at conflict.

I normally in all I'm going to come in a normal episode, I would say, let's intro, intro, intro. No, we have such an amazing guest who I'll say it has been knocking on our door for roughly one hundred years.

Don't know.

She woman who works in entertainment technically, but you never really known.

I think she may be is a cinematographer or something. I don't really know much about her.

It's given grip. She is the biggest. She is the biggest grip bitch down.

Please wow.

And I just want to say I know we're edging you by not actually saying your name. The fact that Sam is the one who wants to cut the intro short is huge. Usually I'm the one that wants to cut the intro short, and Sam, you know, as conflict a versus you can be, is like, no, we're doing the intro.

That's true.

Please welcome what Darcy is it's.

Yeah, yeah, that's right, Darcy cardon the biggest grip.

That's I want to say, for a grip. Your hair looks phenomenal. Yeah, thanks, you did just it literally was just done.

Is that? Am I wrong?

Like you don't mean like from a salon?

I do? I do you yourself my hair?

Oh yes, but I've been and feel free to sound off in the comments because they think I don't want them. I feel like my hair is.

Okay. You know when you you.

This, I think this is a classic thing that people do as they get older. This was like good hair ten years ago, and now I'm like, is this even the style anymore? I know it's not.

Well here's what I do.

You know what I mean?

I know exactly what we're like, Oh this looks good.

Great, I did it again, and then I walk out and I'm like, exactly what.

You mean to me?

Please do not take this as a negative, because it is a positive. Julio has a bit about how all the women in Marvel movies have beach waves to like soften the blow of the fact that they're spreading American imperialism. And but but again, I don't mean that as an insult. It's like, yeah, that's why they're beautiful.

Right right? As are you?

Well?

I do I like love, I love a this is like what I feel like works for my head.

But are you going to do have like an undercut?

Well, I mean you see, like there's just darter.

I think it's time for the octopus cut. It's the octopu cut. You know what Gaga has, what Miley has, what.

Has Yes, I've never heard of it as.

The banks and other banks, then longer you know our friend, Yeah, the chops, streat chop, the straight chop, and then then the long Yeah, Hayden dis just cut her hair like that.

Really, I was like, oh, yeah, it looks good. I was like, you look like a celebrity.

It's very celeb it's very celeb because it's hard.

Yeah, speaking of time, I remember st did it a couple years ago. People have been doing it. People have all of a sudden, like the Grammys, especially everyone.

If it's the Grammys, you gotta do it.

It's the Grammys and you're not.

Whether you're your Time or Selena or Selena Gomez says it is, you have to do it.

What is it called again? Octopus? The octopus cut?

I cannot believe.

I didn't. I didn't know that either.

Wow, now you're sitting here thinking, did you make that up?

I did not.

Here's a question, what about it is octo?

It's tentacles that it's not tentacles. That's I look at that head, I see an octopus city on a head. Okay, because it's tentacles, I see like I.

See like a stair. Oh, it should be called the stairs.

Helmet helmets.

Yeah, it's helmet heads. Here's the bold cut though, Yeah, helmet helmet banks, helmet banks, helmet banks.

Wait, okay, so do you have to have banks? You don't? It could be yeah, I don't think you have to hear it could be banks. And then second layer it should be called like the three layer step three strip on three strip throats and just make it makes sense for you.

Can I tell you something now that we're naming things. Recently I found out a close friend of ours.

I can't wait to hear off camera.

I want to know who it is right now.

Yeah, well we can a close friend of ours reveal to me.

A close friend of ours, by the way, is like.

I I consider him very successful. He's written on some great shows. He like, he's sort of by Coastal Diva, very bravely by ghost. He literally revealed to me just out of nowhere that this entire time he has held a sometimes full time, sometimes part time job at The New York Times as a naming specialist where he literally like names games or like does work.

With their podcast team Cool.

And I'm like, that is so this, don't you think that is the most rom com slash sext and city boyfriend Josh. It's like being a cartoon editor at the New York.

Being like a chocolate tear.

He's being He's Julia.

It's also like the rom com girl would say it and nobody would really question totally.

But it's also like he's a naming specialist, but he doesn't want to put a label on.

Things cattle something I mean, even like I would, and then when you do find only married, like the sequel, when you're married to the naming specialist, and it's like really tense because like they can't think of the name for this thing, and they're like locked in the room and you're taking care of the children and you're like, well, he's in their naming. Meanwhile, I have to fucking bring the kid to school. And obviously it's not as good as the first one, but it's real.

And it finally does think of the name. It's inspired by the woman's name or like by the way it's like Darcy Productions.

He's like, and then he's like, yeah, it's always worth it. I married a good one. I can't wait to hear this is bumping back a minute, but I cannot wait to hear your Hollywood hand Book. Oh my god, I cannot wait.

No, go ahead. Well, I don't feel like my performance is amazing, and it's hard to.

Have to say it's hard to be amazing on that show. It's so disorienting.

It's so disorienting. Yeah, and I was also like, I think they're so funny, and I was sort of like trying to figure out, like I was like, do I be combative agreeing.

One of my favorite things listening to that podcast is when you can tell the person is like, what are we doing here?

What do you want from this? Like?

Yeah, yeah.

I asked my friend who's a religious listener, and she was like, you have to be yourself and not try to do them at them, because you seem like a loser if you try to like do exactly what they're doing, because they're going to be better at it.

And then they'll then they'll like cut you off at the knees and you'll, yeah, it's humiliating when they get you.

I also want to say about my performance, and even I want to of course, guys, I need to like their third brother, I need to talk about my performance. Okay, okay, And this is actually something that I've been thinking about because.

Actors on Actors, but for our podcomments on Hollywood hands and you're the moderator and you haven't seen it, I get I know it.

So we also recorded here two days ago, so we've been doing a lot of podcasting and normally, as you know, when we do our podcast, we sit around a desk. Yeah, yeah, I'm actually realizing that we're sitting on sort of a set both here in Hollywood Handbook, and I'm feeling like when Gaga and a Star is Born went into the studio and they couldn't find it. Like she was like, it doesn't sound the same, it doesn't sound the same.

It's like a comfort or it's just like it's what you know, it's what I know.

I know. I was.

I was telling them as I came in that I was wearing kind of dumb socks, but had the thought, it doesn't matter because we're going to be sitting behind a guy damn.

Table lo and behold, no it's a new and don't wrong, this is much better. But I'm finding my performance more confused.

Okay, so if anyone not watching, it's like usually we're.

Around, we're taking a conversation and a.

Couch and armchair. Yes, so here's I have a theory about this, please you know how like the definition of Uncanny Valley is like just close enough to the real thing, but slightly farther in a way that makes it almost worse. So I think the fact that I set like this is almost living room, but not a white living room makes it more confusing than if you're just around a completely artificial.

Desk in a conference room. Right, I think you're right, And.

So I'm like, I'm like, should I sort of like kick off my shoes and take my phone out.

As I would like hiding my water?

Like yeah, I mean you have one of those trad wife cuts. Wow, how long have you been sporting this.

So long that look at it's not even it's not.

It doesn't sit straight, it's not even level.

I've been sporting this. So is this trad wife Well, I don't know.

Someone said that to me once.

Then the one with the big handle, but this is closed.

The built in straw freaks me out right. Well, mold, of course, ship I never thought, but also.

Sorry, like you should be able to angle a straw to get the last of the liquid?

You kind of can. I can't have every last drop of this. Let me listen, corner, Oh you can. Oh you're right right, corner. Wow, what I found?

I did see.

That's understanding of the media I found years ago. I've been I've been, I've been on this for a while. Is the straw helps me drink so much more water. I hate this. I hate this, hate hate tilting. I don't know what's up with my neck or throat or mouth, but I hurt myself drinking a lot.

Really, I'm not kidding.

I think so bad, not so bad, like just kind of like like like if I'm well, For one, I don't I don't know. I don't know. You only have the mouth you have, so I don't know, and the throat you have, and so I don't know what it's like for other people. But I think I have a hard time doing big swallows.

This is great.

I really like this because it's very celebrity to have a super specific.

Like imagine like the.

Moment you're an actress on set and you like tilt back and you.

This is the weird thing. It's not even like I'm pulling my neck. It's like inside my my swallowing mechanism.

Interesting.

If I'm if I'm like listening, if I'm tilting this when I drink, I'm like, oh, oh my poor little esophagus.

What swallows? Sure?

Anyway, what I found is if I'm just sitting here looking at you, glug glug glug glug fucking day that's like this, something happens, something I don't want to do this. Okay, here's the other thing. This I can It can be a constant swallow. This is one gould, one gold.

That's very true. That's very thank you.

Yeah, but you can hold it up.

This is actually I can't, That's what I'm saying.

This is also.

Wow, this is so.

This is why when I get an iced coffee, I finish it in like two seconds. When I get a drip.

Coffee, well, I wish I had a straw.

Oh you don't have.

I don't have a straw with an ice.

Yeah, I guess I always wish I had.

Sam is doing sippy cup ice coffee right now again for anyone just doing audio only.

I've actually recently been going out of my way to get a straw from my coffees because I hate I hate when the ice touches my mouth.

Okay, that's your injury, little actress. How chea? Yeah, anyway, I I I used to be on the set of The Good Place, My My, My, My favorite two costume people. They called me Contigo Girl because I had a contigo.

I guess I thought.

That's great, But I guess I have a s l M, a slim or something now, but I used to have a contigo contigo and I, which is just a brand of.

I think that's what I have. But did yours have a straw?

A straw? It's also it was plastic, and then you know the whole thing, well, of course, and then all of a sudden, I'm like, I'm drinking out of this thing. I don't know.

I don't understand microplastic, but I know it's happening. I do not understand wants, but I know it's happening. So then I was like, you gotta go, you gotta go medal anyway.

So now I'm I mean, but I'm sure kidding me.

The County Go girl they called, they call me, and I'm.

Yes, yes, yes, everybody called me. I made everybody call me County Go Girl.

I will say at work, I have we all. They gave us all Stanley cups, which is like, you know, you forget because everyone has one. They're sipping out of your Stanley cup. But then sometimes a photo will leak from work and someone will be like, you have a Stanley cup and I'm like, well not not not exactly exactly.

I'm sorry by leak.

Do you mean someone posts a photo from the renders room, or do you mean there's paparazzi in the after midnight?

George, you have no idea how much paparazzi is trying to figure out what little pun will be coming off tonight.

How do they write it, how do they do it?

What are they doing that there, Georgie, you don't live in Hollywood. It's actually a really industry.

Yeah, things are being leaked left and right.

You guys are doing the Hollywood handbook to me take I'm starting to take back the right honestly, whoa because my performance was middling, Oh my god, performance No, no, no.

That is a show where like the meanest I ever thought I was, by accident, got the best reaction totally sense liked shitty.

That was like god, they loved it. Yeah, I almost want to go back. I'm like, I want to redo, like I want to be mean.

We're going to go We'll go back.

They're going to have us back. We're the best guest they've ever had. You're going to go back.

T me when I say you're going to go back.

You guys, we got to go back. And and also we're going to have them on it.

We're going to bully them until they cry. Yeah, I would like when we had well, so, do you know how Long Gone again? How Long Gone?

Girl? Great?

It's Chris Black and Jason Stewart. It's a very popular sort of like yes, I know, it's straight straight eye podcast scene. They have, like you know, everyone from you know.

Kurt Vonnegut to st him.

The ghost, but they would it's.

If anyone could get.

The ghost of Kirk Vonnagat, it would be that, of course. But we had them on and we feel like they dommed us. But now we know them better.

Yeah, but now we know them better, and I think we need to have them back on again. And really this is I love how inside the Extra studio. This is okay because we have them on. I had never listened to their podcast, which was now You're obsessed and I'm upset.

But that's kind of dommy if you did not have listened to them, Yeah, I know, but still you let them.

Do them preparing. The truth is we started preparing more.

We started preparing more to have someone on that wrote a novel, and we both read the novel. Okay, we have one hundred pages left that's nothing you can do that?

Yeah, or in two days? Are you reading it or are you listening to it reading?

Yeah?

And I read it took a band's copy, Girl Girl.

I think this has probably been talked to death. But where do you guys stand on calling listening to audiobooks reading?

First of all, I want to say, I love when the guest asks the question and prom us. I count that as a form of DOMITIU and I celebrate it.

Yeah, I can't wait to keep dom and I think this.

I'm actually very torn on this.

Think.

The thing is, I only do maybe like two audiobooks a year. I mostly read on paper, and I have no problem counting them. And they're usually like it's usually sort of like middle brown nonfiction. I can't read, and I can't listen to a novel, and I definitely can't listen to like a complex like nonfiction book that's like deep journalism. So it's like like I listen to the Tina Brown like Vanity Fair Diaries, for example, or like or like something that's for like self help adjacent.

Alo listen to a memoir.

Yes, that's a good one, but yeah, I count it. I put it in my little notes s app of like the books I've read, so.

I do too, and I'm I'm my sisters and my mom read so much more than I do. But they oh, I just I just.

Oh my god, everything going on.

But I uh, anyway, I my sister recently said, I guess this is what it is. I think you should totally count them on your list. But do you say I was reading?

Oh no, no, you say I was listening.

Yeah, I think you said I was listening. Yeah, yeah, you can say I did consume that piece of media.

Yeah, exactly, I consumed that.

There.

The other question, does listening to podcast counter is reading? I would say, yeah, of course.

The most cute thing is that my mom always does is because I read so much less than my very very reader siblings. My mom is always like, but honey, you're always reading scripts. She's always giving me that. It's really cute because I kind of played dumb in my family.

You got to play a role.

I got to play something.

Places and last looks. Really appreciate that she gives that to me. That is nice. Yes, you can read doll.

Yeah, you're like Google go yeah, a little googoo goga.

I'm a little Google. Yeah.

A little.

Go go, Google, Go.

Goo Google, Got got girl? I'm ready to what's the word confess something embarrassing? I can't wait. Okay. When I was like twenty three or twenty four, I listened. I was a dog walker, so I was listening to a lot of things, and I listened to the audiobook of the Rules of Power because I was felt like I was being overlooked in the open mic comedy scene.

Well, I guess what it worked. You know, exactly following you is your job writing on a major late.

Leaking my Stanley Cup.

So did it Did you learn anything from it?

For sure? For sure? Yeah? I actually did find it like kind of helpful where I was like, oh, there are well and it's like I think about it a lot. I confus use the Rules of Power with the rules of fashion sometimes where which is the one? I'm the same?

I'm the same.

I don't want to say it, but like the first like page is like of the Rules of Power. They're like, first of all, if you think you don't need to, like you don't want to learn the rules of power while you already are playing them, you're just losing. And I was really faster, and I feel that way about clothes too, where people are like no, it's so I don't want to look like anything. It's like, no, you already are you look like something?

Holy shit, I need to read both of these.

So the fashion thing is really so true.

It's like because sometimes you convince you're a badeely the has and you convince yourself oh whatever, it doesn't matter. Suddenly you find yourself. It's like you're alone in this like giant, like empty world and you're like, oh, so this is just what I think I'm bringing to today.

Oh fuck, I need to read rules of fashion.

It's hard. I'm really in my.

Sweatshirt while it's unfit, bad fitting chants.

It's it's very la la.

It's like someone walks into a profession setting and they're like in their pajamas with fluffy slippers like slippers, robe, hair in a net and they're like, Hi, so where can I Where can I put my pillow?

Totally, but that is like in la that is a power. That's the rule of power number one.

Yeah, here's rule of power. I'm about to Okay, my I'm my house did not burn down, but thank you, but we are displaced sneaks for a while. So displaced is such a weird word, but that's what we are. But that's what we are. So I have my my I have like a suitcase full of clothes, and so there's this weird thing where I'm where I'm like, this is my my. This is all I got, like, like for I don't know how long. I'm also decided. I'm like I'm not buying anything new, like I'm really living

Likes, but I was like, but I'm displaced.

And I'm like they don't know.

I don't know. Yeah, I'm in a weird I'm in a weird this is liminal thing. Yeah yeah yeah.

Context is so important. Context is so important.

Girl is so important.

I need I I actually sort of want to develop my theory about context creators a little more.

Okay, when did you talk about this again? It's at our sketch fest life, that's it. And no one liked it.

No, they did love it.

They we had a context. I think what happened was it was so smart, its very that it wasn't funny. People were just like listening and taking notes. But I wasn't getting last You were so smart, I was shut up.

I do love just kind of being Google go Gum listening to this podcast and like learning stuff.

Oh my god.

And guess what you're smart too, Sam?

Thank you?

George is like the smart one. Oh my god, Sam, guess what you're really smart?

Non cut. I really appreciate it, you know that. Right of course.

It's moving on from this.

Sorry, back to context.

Okay, So my sort of like idea that I came up with on the spot is like, you know, we call them content creators, people that are on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, but actually they are context creators. They are not creating new content. They're just saying something about like a red carpet look that someone wore, but putting it into new context.

And actually, I think there's a new phrase that is speaking to this. Okay you were familiar with of course, like the she reheated her nachos.

Yes, they are not choke creator, they're not show reheaters.

I think people are really becoming wise to the way that everything is just being reused and recycled right right in like in a way that's like almost toxic. But it is like just a given that like when you put something out, you're not making new nachos, you're reading somewhat.

And I want to say one thing, it's like the the context creator ethos started out good because it started out as being like, remember this rom com from two thousand and two, it was sexist because of X Y Z reason. And now suddenly it's in a new context and it's and it's a context that is helpful. It's being like, wow, look at all the unconscious biases we had then that we now see whatever.

But then it's now it's.

Taken to like such an extreme that it's like not everything is sort of like a prompt for you to theorize, right. I mean, it's funny that we are the ones saying that, which is like kind of our whole thing. But you know what I mean, I'm like time to got new things. Actually, I no longer need new interpretations of Bridge of Jones's diary.

I know.

Wait do you mean do you mean you mean you don't need a new movie.

The theaters?

And strongly I had a I had a I had a I had a sad moment this morning when I saw that it was streaming. Yeah, I love your peak, Like there's a new Bridget Joke movie that I've heard is good, starring fucking Renee Zellwegger.

I mean it didn't, that's all.

When you said Reneegger, I had this deep feeling that.

I know her, I like, I almost I felt the need to speak up and be like, oh, Renee like and as though I had some connection, and I wanted to be like, we were out for coffee the other day and she said the funniest thing, And I don't know what it is.

There's maybe a past that I have a past life, your.

Whole entire life.

Yeah, maybe that's what whole entire life.

I just rewatched Down with Love and maybe that was fresh in my mind, and so it was almost like I just had Coffee with her.

I love that movie.

It is one of the best movies.

It was underrated completely, nobody knows it.

That is a great movie that I'm glad people have put into new context as like a movie that was, you know, sort of much better than.

It was given credit for. Ahead of his time and all this stuff.

And McGregor, Yeah, I want to say Rachel.

Dratch, Yes, Rachel Sarah Paulson, Oh my god.

No, it's okay from Frasier Niles Crane.

Yes, David David. I cannot believe.

Literally gay for sure? Sorry, I know yes because you were.

Yeah, yeah, that's okay.

You're not say something about Renees only only.

That it's not like it's not a prequel. It's not like starring c W Talons or whatever.

It's like with them. It's with them. Hugh Grant's probably in it.

I think he is.

Really, what are we doing here?

It should be in the theater?

Put a gun to my head, kill.

And don't miss Gone Girl, Gone Girl. Okay, Okay, I literally.

Right now see cuts Gone Girl again.

Watt Are we.

Just like truly breathed for our first segments so we can go back to.

Oh my gosh, Okay, thanks for having me, thanks for doing literally on cloud ninety might as well be on a mountain of cocaine.

I also want to say, you know, to your incredible credit, you've been in Hollywood for you know, you you know the biz, and you we said, you know, we can do zoom any of these times, and you said no, I'm gonna wait. And I think it's one hundred percent worth it, and I'm so glad you did. I really do, I really I think the proof is in the pud one. This is being in person, is you're Bradley Cooper bringing

I want to ask a questions, but I won't.

I won't. George kickassof Elevated Horror or Dora the Explorer, Dora the Explorer, Teenage Dream or Wilhelm Scream Teenage Dream.

The Taming of the Shrew or Defaming Mister Magoo.

Oh, Kendrick Lamar or that bitch, ja'far, your wish is my command? Or he went to Tish and now he's in a band.

He went to and now he's in a band.

A fleet of Welsh Corgi's or the feet of Florence Welsh, the feet of Florence welch. This girl is on fire, that boy is mine, or these boots are made for walking.

These boots are made for walking.

Okay, plastic straws or laughs and gaffaws, laughs and gafas.

Wow, wow, amazing.

I'll say, okay, thank you for the doves. Did you give me three options?

Why do that?

Sometimes I made my head spin?

Yeah, yeah, so did you say jafar and then you said your wish is my command?

Sometimes that does happen, though, but you don't. We don't collapse, No, we don't collapse. But there have been I would say, like four or five times when it's like eerily similar.

So yeah, same brain content, similar, yes.

Very much so, similar context, same brain and I also, I hate to say it's similar sort of like algorithmically suggested content that we're consuming.

Of course, of.

Course, of court.

That was great, okay, so I got a thousand does yeah? Okay, great? Wow, thank you well, it.

Was you know, you're a performer, and there was so much nuance there, there was ups and downs, highs and lows.

It was an amazing, amazing Like having heard this segment so many times, only recently did I realize it's you're not actually I don't think you're actually trying to get the person to say one.

Thing or the No, it really is. It's like it's a segment. Is this segment?

Is it really is us micro dos in Hollywood hand like we're we're being like, isn't it funny that we thought of these two things that rhyme yes, yes, and then it's like, now say something every wont.

Last exactly exactly. I think I used to think it was like which thing is straighter? And then I was like, no, no, no, it's which thing is gayer? And only recently was like, no, no, it's neither. It's neither.

In theory, it is like it's almost like a Rshack test of like what you're drawn to says something about your personality and then all of that adds up to your score, but it's also about the performance. Like I enjoyed that when I gave you three, you were like temporarily taken aback, and.

Then I think I could have lost points for honestly, on that one, I was so overwhelmed. I just went with the last thing I heard. Yeah, you know, I think that's fine. I think that's fine.

That was so good student, and be like you told me I got this right, but I actually I was a little It wasn't I got to the right answer, but I did it wrong. I did.

That reminds me of something I did when I was in Let's say, I think I was like nine, My older cousin played too Short for me and my sister too Short the wrapper okay, we were my sister and I listened. We grew up in the Bay. We listened to a lot of hip hop, but we knew that we weren't allowed to listen to Too Short okay because he was really nasty.

Line.

And we were listening to Too Short in my cousin's bedroom and my parents walked in and he was saying, like fuck pussy ho what like he was saying horrible. Yeah I know, and you know, we like ran to turn it off and my my my parents were like they were mad at they were disappointed.

And later.

Like later that day when we were talking about it, I was like, I'm really glad that you did that.

We talked about it.

We were really glad that you did that because it really taught us a lesson.

My mom was like, fuck off, no, you did it. She was like, you don't have to do that.

And it was such a like that, so check your work, like yeah, what is that? What is that?

That's people pleaser that we both have it. We have that. I've always wondered why, Like I wonder if it's like do I just have that or just like watch the right make sure of like kids TV shows?

Totally, totally, totally yeah. It is that little moment where like the music changes and you're like, hey, Mom, can I talk to you for a second. It actually really it was good that you did that, and even though it was hard, we learned a lesson.

She was like, shut up. When you were a kid, did you like often think like you're.

In a movie?

Oh yeah, yeah, totally do Yeah.

I remember like what like I would like look out the window, the moody out. I think when you say when you were a kid, you mean to this day, Yeah, Well now I can now I understand it and I can be like, oh, this feels cinematic or something, but like as a kid, I was like I wish someone was filming right now, like this is a real emotion.

Wasn't like you literally put it like on her desk.

You read that. Yes, I was doing it like I'm in a movie.

Yeah, yeah, I think I definitely window rain on Window was obviously big when I was younger emotion For whatever reason, the last few years, walking on the street is much bigger for me. And maybe this is the la versus New York well, but walking on the street, and I would say it reached its peak during Charlie XCX, like three Party Girl, yeah, because it was just.

You can't if you listen to that song and you're walking, you're gonna stop.

Von Dutch specific. Sorry, that's when I was walking at all. It's it's over all the ants in your area. They're getting smart, uncle, I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. I went through a phase where I would listen to that Selena Gomez song that's like good for you.

You know, yeah, like in a great Hacks scene right where like does that sound familiar where they're like like Poppy and Hannah, don't us. I feel like there's a great moment in house where they're blasting that in sort.

Of like it's like one of the sexiest songs ever produced.

It's not that song.

And there was a I was probably in my mid twenties and I was living in Boston, and I would come back from like a party or something and be like a little drunk, and I would literally put it on and basically like writhe around section on my own and by myself, like not even in a way where I was just kind of it wasn't even like sex.

I wasn't like.

I was literally just like, yeah, you're just going to feel in your body.

Oh wow that my esophag has felt bad.

Oh no, I think it's good.

Yeah, damn, I'm gonna have to only drink through a straw.

What happened girl getting redn do you go girl? Anyway? I'm like backtracking on good, Oh yeah, good the one.

I love that song.

I'm actually surprised, no shade to Selena, how many Selena songs I love.

So the thing is she has amazing music.

It's just.

And you know what, I'll leave it at that beautiful music, beautiful beautiful recorded music. Yeah, when it's recorded and then it's released and then I press play on it, it sounds amazing. It sounds amazing when it comes to my ear, when it comes to my ear, when I press the state, I'm loving it.

Yes, God, it's so difficult for me. So we can't go into this.

But it's watched Themelia Prays over four hundred times.

I've watched Amelia Press twice, Okay, one of them was in theaters.

And so all I want to talk about is Amelia Press.

But I can't because it's like no longer relevant, Like I don't actually have a hot take on it. But for whatever reason, since I've been in LA, keep bringing up because it's you know, you guys are you know it's like the oscars are happening, and we're in La so obviously I want to talk about Amelia.

Press and the billboards are everywhere. Billboards are everywhere.

We literally passed on the other day when we were driving and Sam was like, Oh, there's your girl. That's carlos Ias Khan.

Well.

I think is an incredible actress, regardless of her very contemptible political opinions. I think she really absolutely slated and was cunty go girl in that entire.

So, but we can get the topic.

Okay, Okay, Darcy, what is your topic that you've brought today and what is straight about it?

Okay, I've thought about this for so long. This is how I feel like. This is a hard question. It's getting harder every day, that's true, if that makes sense what I mean. Yes, it's getting harder every day. As the child wives are doing poppers.

That's true. That's true. Literally the tradwives are doing pop yes.

Kind of, so like it's getting harder to kind of separate what is straight and.

What is getting That's like one of the you know how there's this political realignment where the right and the left don't exist anymore. It's more about sort of like are you random or are you kind of like normal? Yeah, what you're described, the sentence the tradwives are doing poppers is like a perfect encapsulation of how everything is has been remixed where nothing makes sense.

It makes sense. Yeah, right, So this question, I feel like, is harder today than it was a couple of years ago.

It's harder than it's ever been.

So my so, I was.

Blessed by God himself. Wow, I think he's a hymn. Oh okay, I was blused by God to be doing this show on this particular day, which is that well, yeah, the actual holiday called Valentine's Yes, so.

It is currently as we're recording this, it is bounced.

Very fourteenth fourteenth, which I think is like sort of the beginning of force fed straight cultures when you're a kid.

Yeah, it really is.

It's like it's like real life straight in your face. It's not like a movie where there's like a princess and a prince or whatever. It's like, write a love note to the boy over there, Yes, who do you love?

Girl? Which boy do you love? Boy? Which girl do you love? Ask them to be your wife.

In front of the class.

But also it's like it's a numbers game right one to everyone. Do you remember like how you would write Valentine's Day cards for everything?

Yeah, well I went to Yeah, I feel like mine was like gender neutral roughly where you want them. It was just like to everyone in the class.

I get yeah, but would you actually write a Valentine's Day to another boy of Valentine's Well.

This is I mean a girl would girl, I think, But that's different because lesbians.

Yeah, because it was like you would get like boy cards, like they would almost be like like like a.

Little baseball player, Yeah, catch this ball, catch my ball.

Jeff, please, I beg you, Jeff has a sexual awaken. I do want to catch your ball.

But yeah, I just I just from there. You know, there's the things in elementary school. This is the most like force fed. A teacher makes you do it, your parents.

Speak to do it.

All these people, by the way, who don't encourage over sexualization in other areas of your life, Like it's like they don't let you watch our rated movies. They don't quite tell you where babies come from, Like they're not at all encouraging you to be a sexual being. But then this one day comes and it's like the purge, but for being like straight and sexual.

Straight and sexual. Every holiday is this though, and.

Then they like make their son do Valentine's and then he's like wait why and they're like what are you?

Exactly exactly this is.

It's like every holiday makes somebody do, like makes your parents do something like lie to you about Santa Claus or whatever it is. It's like these it's like, well, that's just what God himself.

Told us to do, so you have to do it.

You can even like not be religion.

Suddenly it's Christmas and they're like, thank God Christ was born exactly exactly.

Yeah, So so anyway, I just I don't know when how do you guys feel about Valentine's Day as adults?

Right? This is where it gets complicated again. No, no, no, because I was just about to ask you. But yeah, I'm I appreciating dom.

But I do want, like, I like the idea that the thing for like for Christmas, the thing is religion.

For what are the other holidays?

Like April Suddenly everyone's a trickster he loves America yes.

Or doesn't?

Or a family Thanksgiving everyone is even if you even if you hate your family Thanksgiving coms and you're like, we're family.

Yes, I guess for you why everyone loves America Also kind of Thanksgiving, there's a little bit.

Of it's like we did it, yes, good, yeah, okay. And then but Valentine's the thing is everyone loves heteroseox trout.

Yes, totally.

I guess in theory, like I met a state in my life from like any holiday. I'm like good, Like, I think the more time we have time to check.

In and be like nice, I'm the opposite.

I like better.

I'm like, don't tell me what to fucking do.

I think that's it.

I'm like, don't tell me when to kiss someone, don't when to like love my family. I think that's where I'm like, I make my own rules. But it's kind of nicer. I like better, And maybe you're better.

Maybe I'm you know, the guy in the rom com who's the sequel in the naming And I'm stuck in the room and like, don't talk to me when I'm naming my things, right, No, And so then I'm on Valentine, Say'm like, what have I been doing? Right, I've been so obsessed with naming things. I forgot You're right here. The whole time.

Well, I do think there's a way in which hating Valentine's Day almost became equally straight. It became like this cliche of like people being like people that in no other context would even use the term capitalist suddenly being like it's a capitalist holiday that tries to sell us capitalist love, and you're like, okay, like, yeah, relax, you are just like a normal girl. You're suddenly you're like nome choump scale.

I feel like my mom may have said that that sentence sudden.

But it is true that it's it's almost in a weird way, quote unquote basic girl to hate Valentine's Day despite the fact that that same girl and sorry to you know, the only reason I'm saying girl is because boys are like too dumb to even have an opinion. It's like that same girl is definitely interested in having a beautiful wedding, is definitely like interested in having a great boyfriend or husband.

But then suddenly on Valentine's she's literally.

Like, you know, wearing a sort of like a black like a black Yeah, like she's wearing to protest.

You have to like go through your if you're just like a normal girl, you have to go through your like I hate.

That exactly, yeah, which is why I think I'm like interested in what Sam is saying about liking valentectics. It's like, well, maybe the straight thing is to have it have so much power over you that you're reactionary against.

It, and then the normal thing is to just.

It's sort of yeah, And mostly it's like if you're normal about anything, I think it's good.

That's I feel about Christmas.

I don't hate it, don't love it.

No, I like it, and I don't associate it with anything actually substantial or rooted in reality. It's not about religion, it's not about family, it's not about anything. It's just like how fun.

Yeah, fun totally. It's so much better to just feel that way, especially.

When like, like when I think I would hate it if it was like if I'm not getting a fucking yet, like today, I'm going to fucking scream.

I'm not getting a fucking fuck today.

If I'm not gonna play one, say you're fuck exactly.

I've been waiting all here for.

My for my one, and if I don't get it, I'm a scream.

That's the girl in the Naming rom com it's like if I don't get by one fuck today. And it's by the way, it's called no Funks Given. And the naming specialist thought of that title. That's how at the end he thinks of the title of the movie he's in. It's kind of being John. It's very actually, wow, this is a good Wow, it's a good movie. Then the credits are at the end of the movie.

Okay, Actually, the name of the movie as you go into the movie is not that it gets renamed.

You know what it is.

It's inst name here, it's insert title here. That's what the movie is called. Because it's also a commentary on him being a name.

Unfortunately, I would love that.

I think it's great. Who's this starring?

Okay, okay, all right, not Zoe, which let's start there.

She's cut, she's cut.

I have to say, Darcy, I'm afraid to say names of celebrities with you because you have worked with so many of them.

Oh, that's a good point. Have you worked Okay, okay, and we have I have nothing.

You're just saying, you're saying, maybe, like okay, zoey.

Okay, First of all, Zoe's lovely A role of culture.

Number one. We we love Zoe on this podcast always loves.

All right, so Zoe is yes, Yeah, So what actress slash actor could this be?

I mean, yeah, hen Batley just popped into my mind.

He Badeley as the naming specialist could be really big.

You's finishing up?

You might yes, I agree, all right? Actually, and I actually do want Sydney Sweeney to like keep being wrong calming, but get better at it.

I just kind of kicked George.

Yeah, you guys are kicking me. You're like, what the fuck is he talking about?

Hello, you guys are mad at me for I love Sweeney, but I unfortunately, as someone who has seen her rom com that's not her strong.

That's true. I haven't seen the rom com.

I haven't either, but maybe maybe she you know, give her more reps.

I just wanted to get. It's like me with Hollywood hand Book.

Yeah, the old the nineties rom home Girls got so many repress says, get your reps in yours?

Can I say someone who I think is one of the most brilliant comedic actresses of her generation.

That hasn't gotten her due.

Wait, I'm so excited.

Jane from Happy Endings.

Jane from Happy Endings.

Did you ever watch Happy Endings?

She is the one who shut or Eliza.

Eliza.

There's Eliza. I feel like there's two Eliza.

That's you're correct, not the one that was in The Girl next Door.

Okay, so Eliza Coop.

Oh yeah, she is one of the funniest women people alive.

She is so funny.

I she's like born to do television.

I agree.

So I'm thinking it's her first also film.

It's her and I think her and pen could work. And I also like that she's maybe a little older than him. That could But that's not address because we're not because that would be condescending to the audience. Like, it's not about that, it's not it's not like empowering that she's old. She's just a normal girl. Yeah, and he's a normal guy. That's annoying.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's so fun Yeah, you like pretty much discovered her.

Yeah, you like put her on the map.

I've put her on the map.

Happy Endings.

Alicia Cuffberts Alicia Cuthbert is the other one.

She's also great.

She's also great.

And Casey Wilson, who we know in course.

I mean that's first of all, should be President.

Yes, it's not even she doesn't have time to do this rom gone because she literally has to be in the administration in the White House.

Speaking of going back to audiobooks, I would highly recommend her audio books when they're doing their own audiobook. Martin Shorts, Oh, that's fun. It's really fun to listen to them tell their own story.

That's I just am filled with love. I'm literally filled with happiness that Casey Wilson eyes out there me too, got me too.

I imagine the world.

If she wasn't you should this pod I met and loved.

I have never met the best. And one time I asked someone I can't remember if it was like, I was like, oh, I would love to do Bitch. It wasn't her.

This is not her fault that I haven't done it, but it was like someone that either that reped, someone involved whatever.

I was like, oh, I would love to do bitch.

And then the person's response was like, you know, to do that podcast, you really have to be up to date on the Bravo shows, Like you can't just sort of go there and like be funny and are you not No.

Okay, I that's such a funny thing.

But I was like okay, and I was like I get it. I get it, Like I would never disrespect Casey going.

On to be caught up with all of them.

It's a lot of reading, I know, but but again I was like, you know what, I respect it. Yeah, I actually would love for you to go on unprepared and have her fucking screaming.

And it's like, secretly she's been a huge, uh county goal.

It would be so funny if like, yeah, like fifteen minutes into the body, just see like their eyes go dead. Yeah, fucking you didn't catch up. Don't act like you caught up when you didn't fucking catch up.

She literally like drops her drops her binders, Like what the fuck? Who brought?

Who is this? Who is this?

Always brings some.

Fucking gay guy. I told them, no more gay guys. Being gay isn't a good enough credit everybody.

Have you heard.

T trad something like trad wife is hard for me because it's traditional wife, right, Yes, that type of ship is hard for me.

Like why isn't it traad wife?

Human pronunciation? I thought you were going to make some argument about where we are as a culture. We're like why is it a little bit like say this again.

Okay, so like true but trad, we don't say brad.

Oh you don't say traditional, so.

You don't say traditional traditional, So then would it be a troade wife? But I know it's a deep like these type of things. I think. Also, what about like Beyonce when they say like bee.

I completely agree.

I I don't like when they say bay. I really don't like when they say bay and it alsways sounds forced. It's always like the host of eing you like entertainment read By?

Yeah, yeah, it's like but it's like b why Yeah, I get that that's By, but it's also Beyonce. It's also like, okay, like Mary, if I wanted to call my friend Mary Mayor, am I spelling it m A R M A R E.

I'm putting an on there because it's mar.

It's tricky because are really tricky and hard.

This is really.

Yeah, I know George is going inward?

What are you thinking on the spot?

Okay, you're scaring us, George, don't don't go inside there. And I'm also I'm willing to be wrong on that.

I'm on trad trad.

Mayor, I'm just and I'm also willing to be a hypocrite. I might be, I might do it all the time, but it's just trad is really trad. Trad do be traged brad Trud.

I mean, trud is.

Like trud wife.

The thing is trad. Okay, we're actually now like fully post language.

I love tra.

Trad wife. They do it because it sounds more glamorous. Yea trud wife sounds like truck.

It's bad.

You're like trudging through the wife of trad wife.

It's like, in order to have to like eliminate their power, we have to start calling them trudi. Yes, totally, But I also okay, tradwife is one of those things that I have just never believed in as a concept or as a trend. And I will not be gas lilt into thinking this is like some cultural force I have to reckon with. Like this is literally like five people on TikTok, and it's like an easy thing to write about and to write trend pieces about it.

You know what I mean. I think I'm wrong.

I know, I switch probably.

I was going to say, you're probably right, and.

You stand for nothing.

I don't, George, I just want to say that, like you know, I was once in the New York bubble, and like I know how that feels, and like you really do think you're saying in LA.

There are.

In LA, but there's like outside, just outside, and I think they're really sympathetic to them. And I think it's like it is a bigger culture than me exactly because.

To me, it's just like context creators, right, And.

I think it probably what I guess what I was going to say when you went I did, I flip.

Flopped, but it was I was John Kerry, Now I was I was going to.

Go on to say, I think you're right, and yet I think there's so much of the country that we are blind and have no understanding of.

Yeah, and and.

It's it bit us in the ass once, and it bit us in the ass against and it might again.

And it might.

It bit us once it bit us against.

Okay, I mean, listen, maybe right, I don't want it.

But I guess here's my question. Did that did the percentage of the population that is trud did that? Did that already exist before? We just had a term for it, like there have always been Well, the argument is.

Like a Martha Stewart was like the type before where it was like almost an aspirational like she's making her own like table spreads, and you were supposed to like feel like you should want to do that.

As you say that, I'm like, I don't even really know what a trud wife is. Is it like is it like a little prairie wife or is it like a fifties wife or is it I mean.

It's a little bit of both.

Broadly speaking, it's just like you want to please your husband and you don't necessarily need to have a job, and you.

Like fantasize about like living on the farm and making everything from scratch and whatever.

Now isn't Martha Stewart interesting?

Oh let's start there. Podcast starts now.

Did you watch that?

I watched you?

Of course not. Sh I'm not watching shit. You're too busy. I'm so busy doing the most important job in Hollywood. That's why the paparannzi always outside my fucking office.

Or as I was at home watching Martha Stewart documentary.

Left and right.

It just is it's interesting because like on on First Glance or whatever, she's a chad wife, but she is.

She didn't give a show that any millionaire ever. Yeah, and she's a bazillionaire.

She's also a like literally head gas later in chief like the way she's just like, yeah, my husband was cheated on me, and then like did you on him too? She's like yeah, but I'm me.

I loved that. That was a That was an interesting moment because it sort of showed that she sees the world the way she wants to see it.

Yeah, it was a great It was an incredible moment.

Yeah, because then the as as much as I'm like, I, well, okay, her going to jail through the doc I'm like, fuck America, It's like the steward was wronged. But then I'm like, is that the documentary telling me that?

Well?

The thing with the thing with super rich and successful people going to jail is that every time one does it is to make an example out of them. It's not like we live in a world where everyone who commits financial crimes goes to jail. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It's like, most people who commit financial crimes don't go to jail, but then every now and then

Of the business.

That's part of the business. And you literally like when you're talking there, like yeah, you just have to fail fifteen times and then you succeed once. And you're like, by fail, do you mean steal and accumulate wealth despite never making anything, because you are absolutely killing it at that Yes, So it's like yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, So it's yes and yes.

Guys something.

Yeah.

In when I first moved to New York, I did maybe three episodes of background work on a little show called Saturday Night Live.

Oh, I've heard of it.

Do you have any idea of what year we're on? I haven't read anything about.

And there's a really famous Martha Stewart's sketch where David Spade today is Martha Stewart. When I tell you, I'm all over that background acting my ass off, Oh, it's really feel free to go back, I will. I'm really giving it my all.

Wasn't that sort of like one of the ones that was deemed I think there was like a clip of that in the documentary.

I kept kind of imagine I kept looking for it. I guess they cut my seat. I thought they would have shown it.

Yeah, maybe they didn't get the rights.

I'm actually even remembering. This is so cute. My parents were visiting me in New York and because Martha was all over the news and the and the the freakin' rags, there was a picture of Martha Stewart I want to say, like Life and Style or a magazine or something like that, and I was just front and center, right over her shoulder. I guess not front and center.

I guess right.

And you were actually in the background.

It was so clear that my mom.

Bought like, you know, ten, that's so sweet. Yeah. Wow, background work, I mean at a time at a time, it is funny. There was such an arrow when you're starting and you're like, I'm in the background. I know. I did it, I know.

And I was like, I was like, I'm using this to learn because I was kind of like, you.

Know, have you ever done background work? I have.

Okay, there's a little bit of like there's some depending on how big the scene is or whatever, it can be a little bit of like mob like you're kind of treated like cattle and you're and you might have the thought. One might have the thought. I have the thought of like, this is not me. I'm not like this. I'm doing this because I'm learning. I'm I'm who's the grip? For example, who's the DP? Like I'm learning, I'm learning how to be on a set.

This is this is not me.

I'm not going to run to grab my lunch. I'm not gonna when they bring the lunch out, I'm not going to run and grab it. I'm going to get it later. Like I had all these sort of rules, and then after I think after the third episode I did, you know, every time they call me, I'd be like, I would be like, this is my moment, Like this I'm getting the call even though I knew this isn't how you get on the ship.

I knew it. I was like, I know all this, and yet still you get the call and you'd be like.

Who spend Saturday on the stage?

I have work actually exactly.

But but then after I think it was the third episode of that I did, I was like, I can never do this again.

Yeah, it's demoralizing.

It made me feel real bad.

Okay, waits that.

Fucked up an elitist and and no, no, privileged. Yeah, well, I mean it's privileged maybe, but I don't think at the time.

Yeah, no, it is inherently like, yeah, there are jobs that make you feel bad, and there are jobs that make you feel good.

Yeah.

Yeah, tricky, tricky, and they also are cruel to background Yeah.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, that's my fault. It's just like a weird thing.

It's so funny for your quote unquote role in the product to be reflected in the outside world because it's like then the you know, they'll yell cut and it's like, oh great, I'm now invisible again.

Or invisible and you actually remind you, you know, now that you're.

Not a background actor.

You it's like you have to remind yourself right now, we're not doing that now, they're not meant to be silent, Like I can actually talk to that person.

Yes, yeah, but to be fair, every role is demoralizing, like unless you're like the star, that's true. I've never had that. Yeah, And it's so like you are, like it's just like the ranking. You're always in a ranking and it's always like.

You're you're literally ranked like number one on the cover.

I know it is. It is and like the things you get are better depending on how it's like, this is always Can we just be normal?

I have to say.

I think everyone should be on a set as like a hazing ritual.

Everyone in the world.

It should be like on a set as a hazing ritual, just to see like also growing up and seeing I've said this before, but like growing up and seeing celebrities are like these are like spoiled rich whatever, which obviously they are, but then when you see what they have to go through, even just physically like being like, yeah, you deserve one billion dollars.

Yeah, it's really humiliating. Yeah, well I love this tone.

I know, I know you've been here for a year, a little one year, little over. It took me one full year of being your before I liked it.

I met peace with it.

Okay, I think you.

I think you're noticeably happier, and well I'm happier than I was, but not happier than I was in New York.

Right, but New York will always be there and you'll always go back.

Yeah, you told me last you told me.

Oh, we had a chat at some point and you it was very funny you you sort of were like you were like, so, all right, when are you going to move to LA? And the implication was like LA is real and New York is like what you do?

I do? I do have a feeling that New York is like no, I know it's and there's like in l A, there's like a reality totally.

Do you want to die in New York?

Listen, I die tomorrow if I.

If it were up to me, then yes, i will come here for employment reasons. But I'm never going to move here just to move like all right, yeah, I get you. If every if work drives up in New York, you know, I'll get back to you.

I know. I know.

I lived in York for eleven years and go back all the time and anytime I can live there, you know, like like do something there to live there for a chunk of time. I'm always jumping, jumping at it, chomping at it, chomping at the bit, jumping at the job, jumping. I'm jumping up and down. Yeah, cast me okay, And but I it is it is. It is easier to live here, but it is better to live there. It's easier to live here.

Yeah, it's better to live there.

Yeah.

The older I get the more.

I Also, I do feel like, unlike some people who live in New York, I at this point legitimately have roots that I mean Matthews from there.

We live a ten minute walk from our little niece, like Docs or his parents live there. It's just is like, yeah, her address is, but which I do think complicates things. It's not like I'm yes, New York is a fantasy, but I'm also living a very is your body like reality.

Where I am it's so extremely New York based.

Matthew's job is a New York based. At this point, I have jobs that are like it.

New York rocks, babe. I mean I know. Also when you're there for years and years, you're kind.

Of like, no, but it does.

Actually, I actually don't think the magic has We're not says magic and magic, And the thing with it is that like the magic keeps being renewed. It's like some new thing will happen and you'll be like, I can't believes.

On Broadway, New York always.

Walks into Times Square with the suitcase. Yes, exactly know what I mean.

Every day somebody walks in with the suitcase, going like it's all starting for me and so the energy is always like electric.

Yeah, what are you doing for Valentine's Day?

Yeah, that's what. Okay, I want to bring back to say, what's what time are we up? Oh? My god?

For three more hours?

Well yeah, I could talk literally forever. But yeah, so it is Valentine's Day? Do you do anything? Are you doing anything?

I don't do Jason and I don't typically do anything. We're not and this is part of it. We're like not we're kind. We're both a little bit like you don't tell us one day?

Yeah fuck sorry, I mean it's fine, that's fine, but I.

Didn't have to say that. But you know, you don't like we're not going to like love each other. We're not going to go out to dinner whatever. We have never done a Valentine's Day think not to docs.

But I also have a niece or two dresses.

So we are going to a friend's house who has two kids, my sisters who has two kids. We're going to friend's house for sort of like a little kid Valentine's.

So you're sexualizing children.

Who do you Okay, who do you love? There's three other children? Pick one.

Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna show you a picture of three boys. Who are you going to marry you? No, we're just gonna like make Valentine's.

Mary Mary fuck.

Okay, bitch Mary fuck kill be ruthless.

Ruthless, kill the other kids in your preschool.

Yeah.

So we're kind of like making cookies.

And that's cute.

That's very sweet, isn't it. That's nice?

What about you?

Well, George, I'm actually so glad George is in town.

We're going to like a go ahead.

We're going to a party, a big gay party club.

Events like a club event, fun like club getting. I mean not that we're not that we will partake that who.

Knows, but I just mean like that type wouldn't be I'm coming up right now, by the way, Oh right, I forget.

We're going to big Bay party, big.

Gay party where you dress up and stuff. Kind of we're like hearts and times more.

Like dressed if you know what I mean.

We're talking less.

I'm so excited. I think it's going to be such a fun party. So how fun five years ago? Related a fuck? Come? It starts after you show up, but like go overboarded in like the most like sexual leather.

Thinks are in just like kind of cute close.

You have a strap on it? Do you like worship me? Five years ago, right before the pandemic, all of our gay guy friends went to Webster Hall. Oh I was there, you were there, And I'll say it, we all did, Molly or many many of us did. And it was so much fun.

I don't recognize this.

Imagine what those first few months. I can't imagine how many times you reference that night in those first few.

Months, constantly, constantly. It was like the last big night. And it was also like so telling everyone like I love you?

Was it so fun?

It was so much fun.

I also were at this point. It's like we were significantly younger, like we were five years.

We were five years.

Sorry to say.

Five, I'm the same age.

I know we all are.

The thing is I'm not.

It's like I really have been feeling.

That I'm not too those five COVID years, I mean whatever, those five like COVID strike Trump.

Years, like they do the agent.

Yeah to go girl, girl's going a little less, Yeah go to go woman, Yeah exactly, But five years, five years are fucked. Five years is so fucked because that is like that's half a decade.

So you are.

It is one tenth of how long SML has been on the air, like that it actually.

Sounds so long. Yes, it's five, like.

The difference of twenty two twenty seven, the difference of thirty and thirty five, differ of all. I mean, sorry, it's always it's always.

No, it hurts, it hurts.

It's always the passage of time.

But that's I have a fantasy of this is this, like this is that night? Unfortunately it will not be. Of course we're already thinking that. But it's like there's something so special about going out on Valentine's and like issue the like couple of them and being like I'm going out with one million gay people?

Is it is? It will tell me later.

I want to know like where, yeah you're doing, not that I'm going to go.

You can can I say something potentially uh damning, like risque and if you guys are like gross, you can just point of gun to meet pull a trigger again?

Do you want to die? In New York, La, Zoe Door.

During this LA trip, I have felt uniquely unique asexual.

Well, welcome to La.

Is that like there's some because usually when I'm traveling, especially if I'm like a lone in a hotel like you just there's eroticism about totally.

Yeah.

Yeah, you want to be bad on uh look good for you, and you want to writhe on your back exactly the way that I not at all. And I I went to I went to the gym, I was in the locker room. I had many opportunities to feel horny.

I it's like, where are you in your cycle.

Is a really good question.

Also, so how long have you been out here?

Like four days? At least?

One night feels.

Literally I mean, hello, George, we're going to get you tonight. Tonight's I think we're going to get you. Yeah, but George, I want to you know, did I tell you this? You know I've been hating l A. I've been trying to like it. I was reading Joan Diddyon to try to understand, and you know, there was an essay where she's like it's like the seventies and she's like, this is a sexless town. Oh really yeah, And she's talking

Yeah, and I do think it's it is a sexless town.

Well, it's a sexless Certainly New York is way more sexually.

Yeah, God, Ellie is a sex town. It's a sexless It is a sexless town. It needs Valentine's Day, it needs someone to say have sex.

Yeah, I'm just sort of realizing it. Every other city is not.

Chicago, horny, horny.

And I actually think that's why LA has so much dark sexuals. It's like because it's like when you got to you have to become like perverse, you have.

To be like a cannibal essentially, for example, just one example top my head. I don't know.

Interesting, Okay, Well I hope that you get French tonight or whatever you're looking for.

I think we're going to figure it out. For I really think I have some fun zing zing feeling.

Yeah.

No, I definitely, yes, exactly feel jazzy. Okay, great, Yeah, that's what we're doing, running out with four year olds and you guys are and we're going to.

A second party.

Yeah, it's not a sex party. It's not a sex party.

It's not a sex party, but it's a sexy party.

It's a sexy part and we have been I didn't send you this. It has been officially announced that at midnight they're playing Abracadabra.

Fun.

That's so fucking fun.

It's going to be I'm really I want to go. No, it's going to be so fun. I can't wait. I'm so excited meet you at Webster Hall. Just kidding. I know we're not in here. I wish, I wish should we do our final say? I mean, I don't want to know we have to.

And for the record, I was an understudy and an off Broadway show that performed at Webster Hall. Oh, and I went on one time.

When was this and you've done Broadway.

Underdog It was pretty underdoggy because when I wasn't going on, which I did one time, I was in fact selling merch.

They being an understudy much like doing background Actually it's worse than doing background work.

The work you have to fit into it much work.

It's so it's so much, especially like especially in Understand that has to understudy many roles.

That's nuts, you don't mind.

It was called The Awesome Eighties prom barely a play, more of an experience that is such an iconic box musical it was Yeah, I guess so, but it was like it was along lines of like a Tony and Tina's wedding, So it was like a very bachelor party, bachelorette party heavy, like like Girls' night got audience. Yeah, anyway, Wow, this is just me wanting to hang out with you guys.

I like what else I know?

I could go for one time my mom and I saw the Borne Identity around the corner and I used to get sushi down the street.

And I mean, the thing is, we were not an interview podcast. But I also I'm like, I want to ask you, but I like, don't feel like it's we can't.

It's not like people pay us what people pay us to do.

You can ask me anything, but I don't want you to not do your thing.

But also I'm like, we did it, we can't. I mean, I do want to know about your experience during Broadway. I do want to know there's like a lot.

About your New York experience. I'm curious.

Yeah, I agree, you've sort of done it all. You're like kind of that girl who's done it all.

You're sort of county go girl.

Girl.

Do you know what? Do you know what was announced today? What I'm on the Handmaid's Tale this season.

Can I say something?

First of all, I'm so excited for you, just speaking of Hondy Go girl, and you know, of course, I'm so excited for you. I literally would die for Elizabeth Moss. I'm all in. However, something came up on my feed that was like this very serious graphic and it was the Handmaid's Tale x Christian Siriano.

That is so funny?

Are you part of that?

Okay, am, I'm just sitting here smiling.

Does your role have any sort of comedic I was serious, it's so serious.

But I think that I think that that I was cast with the hint of sort of being and you were like.

No, but I was just like not being like, you know, tough material. I was like, it would be so amazing if you just went full like a handler like you were like.

Red Hood.

Okay, but anyway, I just had to sort of that's amazing, announce that.

And hopefully that, like the news already broke. I was hoping we'd break them there.

No, we're breaking it. I hadn't seen it.

We're breaking it.

Did you guys see it?

Did we break it to you? Okay?

Now you're being I'm so actress everyone that I was announced.

We're breaking the news to the room.

That's true, that's true. No, it's genius. You guys should follow.

You do amazing work on Instagram. Yeah, so much for when someone who shall not be named met me clearly not who I was, and he goes, I love yourself on Instagram.

So our final set, you think that?

Did you know? That? Is? So? It's him, damn number one villain in Hollywood. I literally gossip I have heard from that.

I'm telling you, number one villain in Hollywood from the tops to the bottoms.

Interesting, and let's just say that if he embraced either being a top or a bottom, you might be able to move on.

Oh wow, this is actually I'm so glad we're doing a blind item.

Keep it then, keeping it, keep it, keep it. Going to be biggest villa in Hollywood, biggest villam Okay, and.

There's a lot of villains and villains. Yeah, okay, let's wear final segment. Unfortunately, our final segment is called shout Outs, and in this segment we pay homash to the Grand Street tradition of the radio shout out, shouting out to anything that we enjoy people place those things ideas. We make them up on the spot. Literally didn't think about it, and it's.

I have to make it up, and actually you're doing that's awesome.

I actually do have one. Okay, what's up freaks, losers and perverts around the globe. You know, as we talk about the five years that we've been through, it's affected all of us. And I'll say it. I've been having back pain over the last few months, in and out back pain. I'm stretching, it's not working. I lay flat, it's not working.

What the hell.

Recently someone was like, well, do you just take an advil? And I was like, but I don't do that, and they were like, just take an advil and I was like, okay, fine. I took an advilt. Guess what, it's fixed. I feel completely fine. I guess I just needed my muscles to relax for one fucking second and everything can realign and get back to normal. I've never felt more limber in my life. Only it was one damn advil. I've been hurting for months and I just took a damn advil

Okay, when you say take an advil, do you mean one advil?

I do one ad.

You can do up to three.

Well, I don't want to do up to three because one is like the equalent of like snorting, snorting, like one speck of dust.

Yeah, did you snort one speck of dust and feel better?

Dumb dust?

I did one eye bill in the morning and that night, and I feel amazing.

Okay, Well, if history has taught you anything, you should know that it is helping you, and therefore you should take the recommended dosage, which is two.

This is you guys are doing like Brandy and Monica. The boy is mine, but shout out for him.

Okay, thanks for having me.

I love the show show by, so one ad bill is the correct amount. Xoxo. Lines are closed upaks and losers.

I want to get the shout out to an episode of Modern Family Letter recently watched, where the plot was that all the women in the Dunfe family cycles got SYNCD, so all three of them have their period at the same time. On the day that they want to do a Get This Family trapeze class for leap day, I repeat The plot is that the cycles of the three women are SYNCD and it ruins the family trapeze leap day class, and I just want to say, why don't we have hydrics like that on television anymore?

Why don't we have some like that?

Is what a writer's room is for. Someone suggests what if their periods got syk? And someone says, that's not that's big. We gotta go more. It's gotta be leap day, trapeze class.

Somebody said class. I've never said like that class, trappy.

Class.

And then some other person in that corner says, what if it's leap Day?

Yeah, leap Day?

And okay, here's a question for you.

Do you think the cycles being SYNCD was suggested by a man or was it a woman that's like, how funny would this be? Like it's like this happened in my family or whatever.

Maybe it was like the one woman in an All writers a writer she's kind of like, I'll be I'll be like fucking, I'm a guy's goal. Yes, women in.

Their periods, right, I'll say it.

Yeah, And everyone's like, well she said it, yeah, did you need to or no, that's it.

I guess just a general shout out to hijinks.

Also, we're doing a deconstructed version. Yeah, I.

Laugh when I watched that show.

Sure it is.

I said this the other day publicly. I don't know if you saw.

I did see that it was announced that you were on a handmade stale, but I actually also announced that I believe cam on that show is the best comedic television performance. Yeah, he's good other than all of yours, of course, but I think but of the twenty first century, I'm like, this is to actually pull this off, to be doing quote unquote a stereotypical gay guy and pull it off to such an extent that it actually is.

Man. No, it's genius.

It's so it's so it's funny to call Modern Family like underrated because it's rated as ye, But like I think because it became so popular, we now can look at it like, but it is like chock full of genius performances.

Ty Brown absolutely, absolutely, Sophia is one of the great comedics.

Literally, like like, also, because she's so beautiful, you kind of get she is fun.

Phenomenal like perfect.

I have beef with that show for so long because it's the reason Jane Rokowski never won an Emmy.

But guess what that's not for me? It isn't.

It isn't.

It's like that doesn't mean it's not.

And it doesn't mean it doesn't mean anything about Jane either, No, of course, right, I mean, Oh, it's fun, okay speaking, my hair looking good.

It's just like Octimus.

That's a hair. Oh okay, okay, what's up everybody?

Hey, all you cannibals out there, it's me on on the show. I'm Darcy. Don't feel when you forget the name of our show TRL.

I would like to give a huge shout out to the family that is housing my husband, and I'm literally being serious because it's so fucking nice of them. Can you imagine housing two full adults like they are in college? This is so nice of you. It's sort of like an unending You'll just houses until we don't need to be housed anymore. This is the nicest thing you could possibly do. Thank you for feeding us. You make us chicken sometimes it's so cute. It's always chicken. It's so cute,

It's really you. You.

Every time we say thank you, you say stop thanking us. It is the nicest thing you could possibly do. You are the nicest people. I'm not going to docture asses famous. No, no, no, I would say adjacent. I would say I would say adjacent.

And adjacent it.

I'm still on the air, I'm still in there. It's you are doing the good good Lord's work. He him God, God so much God. This is actually God. It's actually comes background to God. I love you God.

I'm giving God such a big shout out. I believe in you. I totally get you.

I'm like magic is real and I love you.

Who that was amazing?

Oh God, that felt great. I really didn't think about it and and it shows.

But release, that's how it goes.

You are not apologizes.

I'm not apologizing.

You know what I want to do right now?

Imagine this, the three of us start over press play on Bridge Jones Matt about the boy we have it now on this big sperience.

Wait, yeah, I did say what. I had a full deep sadness. That was It was like a real It was like worse than Trump getting elected.

It was like we are.

Like you know, it was like it hit me in a such a sad time.

That is a real bummer.

And let's end on that note.

Yeah everyone, we're sorry.

Thank you for having me. Sorry I.

The podcast, I know I thought stopped. Okay, they're uploading it.

Thank you enjoying it. Thank you? Oh how do this? Bye bye? No wait, thank you for doing the podcast.

Hell okay, bye bye bye podcast. And now want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month, discord access and more by heading to patreon dot com. Slash Stradio Lab and for.

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Stradio Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Created and hosted by George Severs and Sam Taggart.

Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sony and Olivia Aguilar, co produced by Bay Wang, Edited and engineered by Adam Avalos. Artwork by Michael Failes and Matt Grufb. Theme music by Ben kling No