"Laws" w/ Honey Pluton and Spike Einbinder

Who Do Who. Special announcement alert, I repeat special announcement alert. If you live in the city of San Francisco, California, we are doing a big, jam packed Stradio Lab live show on Friday, January seventeenth at Cobbs Comedy Club as part of SF's Sketch Fest. We cannot wait to see you guys. Tickets are available in our Instagram bios and on linktreed dot com, slash Stradio Lab. That's l I n K t r ee dot com slash Stradio Lab. Tell your friends, spread the word. This is one of

Podcast starts now. What is up everyone around the world and welcome to Stradia Lab. We have been teasing starting this podcast for over fifteen minutes and now guess what we are giving that sweet release of actually starting the podcast. George, how are you?

The technology required to record what we're doing now was invented pretty much two days ago. There are two of us in Times Square. There is one person at home in Los Angeles while fires are raging around him, and there is another person at home in Brooklyn while Barista's are raging around him.

Which and so we have somehow managed to come together, despite all the odds and despite the world crumbling, to record a podcast. And it's actually our first recording of the year, which is kind of crazy.

It is. It's our first recording of the year. So I just want to say, happy new year. So far it is not a great one, but there is still hope.

Yeah, I gotta say we did start off on a weird note.

Yeah, what do you? Yeah, totally, I'm like, so far, there's way I do want to say. So far, there has been not a single good thing that has happened this year.

I've been getting amazing sleep.

Oh that's good. Good for you.

So that's one thing, George, say something positive about your year so far.

Okay, See that's the thing. What I was gonna say is actually a huge negative. I had an experience that was so shocking, and I'm actually gonna say it now, and then later when we bring in our guests, maybe we can discuss it a little bit more. I was passing by the Harry Potter store in New York City and I said, wouldn't it be funny to go in, find something stupid take a photo of it.

Honey, I'm laughing.

You got a viral meme right there, You know what I mean? I was, I had, I had a little time to kill. I said, I'm gonna find a hufflepuff merch. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna see some you know, out of towner's shopping for ginger beer. Wait, no, ginger beer is the one that exists. What is the other? One called butter beer? Butter beer? And I said, you know, this will be funny. This will be just sort of like a funny thing that I do. I went in,

I mean, I'm I obviously relate. I think how I treat Harry Potter is I actually just don't think about it as hard as I can, because I know that if I do, I will enjoy it. If I watch a film, I'll be like, well, might as well watch all of them like they were on sort of in the background of my holidays, and I was like I would walk into the room and see it and be like, oh my god, this is actually more fun than I remember. And I was like, no, no, no, don't get pulled in.

No, you're we need.

We need, George. What I want to say is obviously ironic, but run with me, George. We need a Minister of magic in our government, and they need to be in charge of the Harry Potter franchise.

No, actually, I would say the minute magic has to be in charge specifically of separating the art from the artist, in the way that we separate church and state. You know, that's like the government. It's the government's responsibility to separate church and state. I know that's not exactly it, but shut up. It's the government's responsibility to separate church and state. Every time church and state are suspected of intermingling, someone is you know, it goes up to the Supreme Court.

I do think if your art makes one billion dollars. It's like it's not yours anymore, Like it's not yours.

At all, right, exactly like it is now.

I don't know it's what public domain.

I don't know who create who'd wrote jingle bells? No one, probably someone who doesn't have great politics. But you better believe I'm going to be shaking my booty to that every year.

I could not agree more.

I think I'm obsessed with us silencing to trans people. While talking about Jake Carroll, I have.

To say, it's the funny things we've ever done, and I think you kicking it.

Off outing me is crazy. Yeah, like I'm literally like stealth icon honeyblutes on. That's crazy, that's crazy, Okay by coming out, let's.

Wow, you're acting. I'm also not magic.

Well, of course you're. That's interestinctionalities that you're both trans and magic.

Yeah, thank you, and actually, hey stop, it's like you already made a burista joke. Have you ever been to a coffee shop they're selling trans or magic shirts aerial italics.

It's right there.

Well, I'm not magic like that. I'm magic like making ship move around and like fighting.

You're not magic. No, I'm not you're not queer joy.

Famously, if you ever see me spouting that I'm releasing my trans joy, it makes me that I'm It means that I'm going to kill myself. Yeah, trans boy joy, I blink twice. Is I'm radiating trans joy?

If you see Spike radiating trans joy called the poll? Yeah? Okay, So please welcome Honey Pluton and Spike Ironbinder.

Hi, so you.

Kind of yeah? So what's up? I mean, what do you think of my story?

You're Slytherin.

I'm literally being Slytherin.

Yeah, being Slytherin.

I've never read the book.

Are you afraid? Are you afraid you'll fall?

I will say, Spike, you're giving Slytherin with your current look.

I don't like that.

I Honey doesn't like it.

So I doesn't read the books, Spike? Have you read the books?

I read the books.

I waited in line to get jk Rowling's autograph when I was a child. Wow, at a book release in La, where I'm from, and I'm just outing myself and always from La.

Loved Harry Potter as a child. Met jk Rowling zero. She complimented my hair, She complimented my.

Hair in a way that when I talked to my mom about possibly cutting it off. To this day, she cites jk Rowling compliment like, I can't get away from this transphobic woman.

Wow, it's like in my DNA.

Do you feel like you have you haven't cut your hair because of JK Rowling.

Well, I'm I'm waiting until it gets long enough to fashion it into like a flail, like a medieval weapon, so I can.

Well, let's keep talking, like I can't say that on air.

I feel like you should make it into a little like braid tie that you wear with. That's an idea, buttoned up, So.

Don't attach like a medieval weapon to it.

And Okay, it's almost transphobic that you told Spike to make his hair into a bolo tie.

Excuse me.

So we're at up to two.

We're at two instances three if you want to count shutting us both out as one.

Individual, course, yeah, because you can't. Lumping us in would be the fourth incident.

So yeah, it would be like you're absolutely right, So lumping you together.

As silencing us as one, as.

One, as though you both have the same politics, the same opinions.

Yeah, we're just two guys, Why would.

You say that your politics differ the most?

Yeah? What where would you self for the most?

I think I'm a little bit more libertarian than Spike.

Really okay, and roll all the way off? Does that make me?

I mean, I'm gonna let you speak for yourself.

But but you're like, you're communist. Spike is communist and Honey is sort of uh.

You want to buy some land and like buy a gun and live.

Like, yes, I was gonna say, I'm I'm socialist communists, but with gun.

You are with gun, right, So maybe gun is where you overlap.

Yeah, We're we're both in the in the Venn diagram. Guns is where we're sort of like carrying together.

Got it? Got it?

Okay, communists, I am more communist anarchists.

So we do both, I'm seeing.

So that's why I'm like, why would you say you're a libertarian.

Because it rolls off the tongue. You know, it's an.

Easier at is anarchist to be doing.

Okay, here's the question. How do you feel about, like a full blown adult, tenured professor being like, I'm an anarchist on the browser history and will be you know what I mean?

No, totally. This is such a smart point.

I'm like, hello, no, you're like the king.

No, not you, the professor of the darkness.

Well, first of all, I established are not an anarchist. You're a gun toting.

Hey we can I'm I'm yes, don't worry about okay.

So but you know what I mean, I think that's okay to do, to be honest, because ideologies are actions, for sure, but anarchy is also something to be taught and understood, and so if you're part of a lineage of explaining that process to other people, then maybe you will have your pupils in cite the revolution.

It's like, don't It's like how I can say I'm anti capitalist and be like, but I really want a nice watch.

Totally, That's exactly what it's like. Yeah. I do think sometimes people myself included, get very frustrated at the at that distinction that like, there is a there is a a type of person the public imagination that is a practicing anarchist, and then there is someone who is like in the theoretical tradition of anarchy and is reading books and teach and doing workshops.

I think it's annoying when people assimilate for sure.

But I think they're the same person because people people assume that anarchy is like we're burning yes, yes, hashtag a.

Little doing the A on a building, Like yeah, the masks, why are you not Banksy?

Maybe he could be banks I know, actually.

He could be camera seriously.

Wait, yeah, I'm really bad at arts. So it's really it's like very I never.

Found out who banks is.

It's Spike. Yeah.

My ideas are like, it's like a girl and she's and she's in black and white and she's holding a red balloon and there's like a guy in a gas mask pruning a gun in her.

That you Spike, what's your next piece?

Mm hmm okay, so get this. It's like a rat.

He's in a suit, he's got a briefcase, and he's going into the White House.

Wow, you are a g sh Just call me if we can find a way to disseminate that imagery. The Trump administration is crumble.

That cheeto will be straight.

I love Banksy. Fever was actually so funny because it was like, Okay, this is crazy. He did this in like a park, like anyone's allowed to look at this, and the hype around that when we're zoomed out a bit, I was like, what was wrong with all of us? Why was that like so enthralling?

Totally? I mean it goes back to me. Well, first of all, of course, it goes back to Harry is very he is very heap. Wait what house would he in? Banks?

Raven claw?

What Harr's house?

He's a raven claw.

Okay, Banks's a raven claw. That is absolutely correct. Okay, here's a question that I struggle with. We have to know this is not Harry Potter. This is not Harry Potter. This is a question I struggle with. Think of like super cliche mass market art. Okay, think of like like Live Left Love or like no No, like like like Campbell Soup, Yeah, like warholl like Warhol pop art, or.

Like the Balloon Dog.

Literally what is I'm like, completely blinking, who's the guy that did like, you know, the art pop cover?

Oh Coons?

Oh, Jeff Coons, Jeff Coons, thank you?

Isn't that the Balloon Dogs?

Yes? Yes, yes, sorry again silence, you know Jeff Coon's Banksy Cause Okay, I think all these things like if you're in the art world, obviously you're like this is their complete hacks. Right, So here's the question. The question becomes, are people like that negative forces on the world because they are such terrible artists and because that's the only art some people see, or are they positive force in the world because they're an entry point for people to

Nest thing. You know, you're like, I love piss Christ.

Literally, yes, I think.

Okay, my dad is a pop art addict. Okay, he can't get enough of the stuff. He is whatsapping me chronically pictures I'm assuming he's pulling from Pinterest that are like marble busts of a naked women but she has like a Japanese traditional sleep and he's sending this to me and he's like very beautiful, very nice touches, Like he is so moved by Banky, Like nothing makes my father believe that he is on the precipice of an entire new world that, like the Age of Aquarius, is

He's like, finally, I'm alive.

I'm It's like he's seeing g a like he can't fucking get a grip so understanding that he believes that the revolution is present in an NFT of like exactly like at at art bazzle of like a pop tart cat that's like dropping a new gone North Korea or something like that makes him go fucking ballistic.

But he.

Has really bad taste.

That only informs a future that he wants it I'm really scared of.

So I think it's the first I think.

Okay, I agree, but honey, did you say Banky.

That's his that's hisny was born with? Yeah, that's yeah, teename I, So I think.

It's I agree with you. I actually think it's bad. I think it's like it's like cynical and almost tricks people into thinking they like art when and like and gives them like it's like not giving them actual sustenance.

So they're like, oh, I'm full.

But they aren't. They aren't fulfilled. And if that didn't exist, they would actually have to seek out things that they would actually like.

It's kind of like George Bush being a painter.

Yeah, well, it's.

Like he could never be cause he's.

Definitely Okay, who's more talented, cause or George Bush.

See that's the thing.

It's like, I think it's I would say George George Bush.

Is as outsider art.

Actually, I completely agree. You don't see him in museums. No, he's on the friend They should put him on the outside of.

Kim Daniel Johnston. Yeah, like they're the same guy basically.

No, but I do agree with what you guys are saying. And it's like it's like saying fast food is like a way into health bowls. It's like, no, it's not. Yeah, Okay, that's a good point. I actually, so we need to find the art. Okay, here's the thing. We need to find populist art that is the sort of Chipotle kVA of art that's rather than the McDonald's way.

That's a great point. Chipotle was fulling my way into food with flavors.

Yeah, I feel like it's against his will and posthumous legacy.

Keith Herring, Oh.

It's like they took that and now that they have control over it, they made it Chipotle.

That's true.

Yeah, I'm very curious who runs Keith Herring's estate because I'm like, why is he on yogurt?

Like it's so are you kidding me? He's basically like a branch of Uniclow at this point. No, No, the Keith Hearing estate is like one of the most At one point I read it's like they are money makers. Yes, but I actually think Keith Hearing is a great example of someone who, like, if handled correctly, could have been the Chipotle, but instead became McDonald's.

Wow. No, you're right. I think that's really smart. Yeah, I wish.

I'm like, who is the Chipotle Kava?

Who? Well, unfortunately I don't know enough about art to sort of say who the chipotikva is? I feel.

No, but that's the thing if it. Yes, I think boot.

Is Boscot is Chipotle kVA.

Because I was at the gym yesterday and I saw this guy, you know, really kind of like flinging himself around really just kind of like twirling the dumbbells and like somewhat aerobic ways. But I'm really worried about his lower back, and he had a giant Boscocht crown tattoo right here on his arm. So I think that he's the only place I've ever seen it, Like, yeah.

That's where that tattoo goes. That's where it goes.

Yeah, I wait, do you think Jenny Holzer is CHIPOTLEKVA?

I was gonna say, yeah, I wanted to go. Literally, it's like rupee car.

Oh okay, oh no, no, no, no, no, she's way worse, way worse.

It's like she is like the Chipotle bag, but like in little Oh, you're right, you're I'm thinking about the bag, like that's where they talk, they're top.

Oh No, I'm thinking about the sensation of actually like being at the Chipotle, like deciding if you want walk or not, Like do you get it at the burrito or a ball?

Yes, exactly. And I think it's like that's the best. It's a sense of possibility. It's like when I look at a work by Boss Yacht, it doesn't matter if it's quite literally inside of a top man, I still feel a sense of hope. I'm like, this is I'm getting something out of this, out of this decontextualize line.

Also, I would say the other example would be just kids that would be like the literary.

Oh, you're right is on his own as a photographer, Chipotle Cova or H and M.

He is the new H and M.

Yeah, totally.

The thing with the Chipotle Cova example is that I do think it's a false like they are actually very different. Like there's actually many people that don't know Kava.

Cove is Mediterranean bol See, Cova's still Niche, Cova is some other artist. I don't know.

I don't know.

You're absolutely right, Sam, You're absolutely right. Okay, So Chipotle is sort of that girl in the sense that Chipotle is the only thing that is both that transcends high.

Yeah, it's like populist and it's like kind of a way.

Yeah, and it's basically health food. It's health food that is unhealthy.

But Cava is something else, like Cova's like sweet green.

Oh thank you.

Yeah, Cova is sweet green, and they're both sort of more Caroline Polo check. Yeah, Chipotle is Charlie xx.

Yeah or is it no, Chipotle is a jelly oh okay, yeah, yeah, Chipotle is jelly roll. You absolutely Chipotle is jelly roll name.

Yeah, I don't know a single jelly roll song but the jelly roll like vibe. I think it's so funny. Likes the music or it's just like this guy's kind of funny that he's like.

Chipotle is like jolly roll, post Malone, machine gun Kelly.

Wow.

Yeah, it's like rolling up on your ATV. You're actually fighting. You're actively fighting with your girlfriend. Who It's like men who go to Chipotle are fighting with their girlfriends because their girlfriends think that think that she's being cheated on because she had a dream about it. Yeah, like that's what's happening.

And and by the way, Chipotle is a man who is a fuck boy, and Cava is an alt girl who takes pictures of dead birds. And they are dating and you're like, wow, how did he land this like hot alt chick And it's like, because, bitch, he's Chipole exactly.

Well, and deep down she's a little Republican.

Like well, she barely knows what Republican means, but yes, she will end up voting.

Yeah, she's like a Hillary stand she has that edge of looking at roadkill.

She's edgy Hillary Stan road kill.

Damn.

Wow.

Well, now that we've absolutely left no stone unturned.

I mean that was one of the most intellectually dense discussions I've ever had in my life.

I would say that was actually like, that was kind of scary. That was like I felt like I was falling, but like getting caught at every moment, like I was falling but taking care of Like the clouds were little pillows that I could land on.

Mmm.

Okay, it was definitely I write that down. Yeah, little pillow clouds.

Being taken care of.

Someone, someone with tattoos fall suddenly. Wait, I've thought of a new Banksy. Oh perfect, big trump head. Yeah, someone pinching it with a little needle. It pops like a balloon.

Oh my god, that is so so good.

New Banksy, New Bank's Alert.

Okay, that elephant and the donkey frenching.

Oh yes, because guess what the.

New Banksy lady and she's trying to go to plan parent but she's so pregnant. And Goofy from Disneylands is the father whoa.

Okay, okay, New banks and New Banksy. An atomic bomb is falling on the United States in America and it's money.

Oh my god, it has a huge price tag on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, Okay, New Banksy. Two guys in medieval gear are fighting, but instead of swords, it's giant cocks. Oh okay, one is a flower and one is a cock.

Is a New Banksy, New Banksy grimace.

It's shooting up heroin, but the heroine is the stock market.

Ye whoa, Oh my god. Okay, okay, New Banksy, New banks and New Banksy. Okay. So it's the ocean and there's like all these microplastics and like there's like big cans of coc and stuff, and a whale is drinking a diet pepsih.

New banks Okay. It's a McDonald's. But everyone working inside and lining up to go inside are prisoners. But they're also all Mickey Mouse's.

Whoa that I can see going for over And that's it. That's the one that's amazing.

I'm calling uniclow. That's gonna be on every T shirt.

That couple that we mentioned before, the Chipotle copy, they reached for that T shirt at U all at the exact same time. And that's how they fall in love right there.

That is so sweet. God. And you know what Chipotle introduced Kava to Banksy. He was like this artist, I really like this underground. I watched Exit through the Gift Shop. It's a great documentary about Banksy.

And she's like, have you ever seen Crumb?

She's like, I love her Many Karin.

Okay, I'm like like me.

It's like, oh so me.

And I keep saying that twenty twenty five pay twenty twenty six is gonna be our year twenty.

We have to wait it out.

That's twenty twenty five, GMO, twenty twenty six our year.

Maybe spring Breakers.

Spring I hope you're right. I don't know where Harmony Korin stands. I feel like that guy is probably like fucked up politically these days. Does anyone know the truth?

Okay, I'm the Minister of Magic has separated the art from the artist.

Oh thank god, thank you, Minister of Magic. Thank you.

Thanks to the Minister of Magic, I can listen to Swans again.

I think Harmony Kurran is just doing like fuck boy post woke word Salad. I agree where he's like Crypto Miami Abortion.

It's like his last movie was him like accidentally doing command a highlighting all and inverting and then him going wait a second, and then he made it the whole thing, like when your computer goes gray scale.

For one second, you're like, oh, fuck, how do we wait?

This is I'm just like stop, we're doing this like that is just what happened.

Damn I love that.

And his child has a burgeoning jewelry business. Check it out?

Really?

Yes, Well, speaking of avant garde, should we do our first segment?

I think that's an amazing idea, Spike, Honey. Our first segment is called straight Shooters, And in the SEMy we're going to gage you're familiarity with and complicity and straight culture by asking you a series of rapid fire questions. It's basically this thing or this other thing. And the only rule is you can't ask any followup questions or we will scream so loud at you that they're going to make a damn banksy about it.

Yeah. And then and also, because there's two of you, you have to answer together.

Do we try to mind meld?

Yeah?

You should try to mind thing?

Okay, Sam, go okay, Squad.

I'm tapping my third eye.

Russian nesting doll. Or touching your best friend Paul.

One two three touching touching your best friend, Paul, Okay.

Thug Boots are Back or a grassroots attack.

Grassroots attack back okay, the end of Times or Amanda Mines.

The End Times.

Running late or stunning eight.

Stunning, a little orphan Ani or little red.

Corvette, little Corvet, new balance or old Yeller.

Old Yeller, Okay, new year, knew me?

Or a new phone?

Who dis.

New phone?

This Virginia Wolf or Doja cat? This is a tough one, Virginia. Good job, guys. That was good.

Oh my god, we really tapped in. We are ready for to You guys.

Were really on the same page. That was amazing.

You know, I'm gonna say, Sam, let's start off the year with a thousand doves.

Wow.

I love.

I'm like, all right, I think this is our first thousand doves perfect score of the year. I just think we need it. We all need to win after everything we've been through. I think you guys really took it. Seriously. You did a great job. You were able to communicate telepathically via zoom.

We did yes, lay me down like one, two three.

Eyes roll back in ecstasy, of course, eyes.

Roll back in ecstasy.

We were in a sense disease.

Yes, yeah, so a perfect one thousand doves diseased. It was an incredible performance.

Wait, I actually speaking of pop music. I have a game that I want to introduce. We don't have to play it right now, but I thought of this the other day. Instead of fuck Mary Kill, it's Danielle heim sd Heim. Who's the other one? Alana Alanaheim. So it's like there's three things, and it's you have to decide which one is the consummate professional, which one is the gesture, and which one is the sort of ingenue slash youthful one.

Okay, let's try it. How would you play it?

Like three like, let's see think of think of okay, okay.

So like ketchup mustard relish.

Exactly, exactly, all right, ketchup mustard relish. What is the game called heim.

Heim lick heim lick heimlich.

And the way it works you go ketchup mustard relish heimlike and then the person has to has to do it.

Okay, and it's the Okay, I'm not familiar with the I.

Thought it was all right. So here's the thing. Danielle Heim, all right, she is like the brains behind the operation. She's like so professional, she's so into production. She's like she's like the Donald Rumsfeld. Totally. Yeah. Then we have Alana. She is the Angenu. She's the young one. She's so silly, she's like doing a little wink, but also is able to deliver a performance in a Paul Thomas Anderson film.

I think I got it.

Okay, okay, Estie relish Anna Mustard, daniel catch.

Yep, yep, damn.

I think that's great. I think there's an argument to be made that because mustard is such a more serious condiment, it could be the Danielle. But I think the ketchup's status is the classic American condiment makes it Danielle. Yeah.

I think so too, because it's actually, like, like Alana, when someone really likes mustard, they get to feel like a little bit unique, like they're like, I actually really like mustard, and mustard is definitely the most Paul Thomas Anderson of the throat.

Yeah, and being so like mustard only on the hot dog like that is liquiche.

Pizza one percent.

It's like, why does that hot dog not have ketchup? Because it's period realism exactly.

Guess all right, Wow, I'm so glad I brought that up.

That was amazing, I will.

Say now I am so intensely ready to get into the topic.

Yes, So, Spike and Honey, what is the topic you've brought to us today and what makes it straight to you?

Okay?

What laws?

Laws?

His laws?

Okay, the topic that we brought in this week is laws, the law, the law.

Law.

Laws are heterosexual because it's someone telling you what the fuck to do.

Okay, laws is the.

Man, Okay, laws is some it's it's it's the default. You don't get to consent to the laws that you are a part of or that you have to live your life around. So it's classic straight culture and heterosexuality because you're following along to a system that you don't even know if you approve of, and it penalizes you, which is straight.

Think about that being penalized. That's straight. You want to say, You're like, oh, that sounds gay.

It's great, it's straight.

Consequences are straight, Okay, It's.

Like gay people hate. Consequences myself include obviously I do.

Obviously I know it's early in the game, but I want to make a caveat, which is that rules are not laws.

Those are different things.

I like that because they're like a little bit more.

Of a guide.

Rules are more queer.

Because rules is rules is the guidelines of being in a polyamorous polycule. Like that's rules, that's not laws.

Rules is also like laws are like carved into stone heterosexual and rules are like tacked on the outside of a treehouse.

They are chosen by consensus. Everyone is having vegan.

People change rules all the time.

Yeah, I like.

Laws.

Laws also really kissed me off because like the way that people like don't understand the note behind the note when it comes to laws, Like people are like, oh, like if the like so this isn't a law. But like like when it's like like at a movie theater when it's like it's not illegal to leave your cup there when the movie's over, and like have the person clean it up, So people will leave their cup there to clean it up, and it's.

Like, yeah, that's heterosexual.

Yeah, that's what's what I mean. It's like you should still throw it away exactly, And it is so.

Leave no trace, like leave no trace, that's a rule. And if you have leave no traces a rule, that is gay. And you're acting as like you're turning everywhere into like a beautiful campsite like that. When you just leave wicked and you're taking other people's cups, that's you doing leave no trace and you're queering the space.

Yeah, no, you're absolutely right, And I think that's great. I I I get so annoyed when people need laws to act correctly. Yeah, like what's that.

Because consequences are straight, but accountability is gay? Yes, yes, yeah, you know it's like and so that kind of goes back to this you know, prayer circle element of account ability or rules that.

Gay people really cling to. It's like you want to have you know, you want to be summoning up the mountain to speak to elder. And that's why gay people love survivor so much.

Like this is going to be controversial, but God handed down commandments and those were yes, written in stone and what were they? Directly in defiance of people having an amazing time with the sheikh calf that was made of gold. So it's kind of like where like where you know, God I think was playing a joke and had all this punishment and torture for straight people and for the purpose of procreation, and then everyone who was doing like idol worship was kind of like, well, we have our

I mean, can you imagine being such a buzzkill that you just like parachute down into the world and you're like, there are ten laws now, yeah, Like that's like, first of all, it's your community, like get to know their.

Honor, thy father and mother, like shut.

Not all of us have a mother and father, I want to say one other exactly. A corollary of all this is law. Operating in a way that follows laws is fear based because you are afraid of consequences. To your point, you are afraid of punishment. You're afraid of

Yes, I'm lead please, no you go.

Well, I was just gonna list some of my least favorite laws.

Was I was literally about to start their insider trading, right, it's.

Like jaywalking number one.

Well that recently now when New York is no longer really really in LA, it's legal as fuck. So I'm gonna looking left and right because but that's also the thing. It's like gay people are defiant. Obviously, we put our hands up in the air. We fight for what's right. If I why why do I need to walk on these slotted horizontal stripes just to get across the street because a.

Man told me to? That's straight. I don't want to fucking do that anymore.

Who's the man that I'm listening to?

The white man that's in the long signal, This guy I'm listening to that white man.

No white house is popping as a balloon. I'm supposed to listen to the popping as a balloon.

I speeding should also just not be alone, like that's autumn everywhere.

I think there was a child. I really like the idea of laws, Like I think, I was like this is awesome, and then as an adult it really is like, oh, this is so not fake. But it's like like I think about like you realize how many people are breaking laws at all times, and it's like, okay, then we need to stop having them, Like we need to figure this out in a moral.

And of course, what you're pointing to the kind of like current dare I say I start to use this term laid capitalist issue with laws is that we are in a place where if you have power, you don't have to follow the law. Yes, So there's the problems with laws, you know, as written, and then there's problems with the general legal system where guess what, if you're Jeff Bezos, you don't have to pay taxes, which is something that is by law, something all of us have to do as independent contractors.

Well even like and like drug use is like if you're rich, it's fine, if you're poor, it's horrible.

Like if you're white, it's fine. Yeah you're not white, it's bad.

Yeah, And like it is. So I know we're like not saying anything groundbreaking and that everyone already agrees with us and knows this, but it is sort of like, how come that hasn't been changed yet? I don't understand.

Well, another fun thing about law is then when you break them, you get to be a criminal.

And what's amazing is gay criminals that Donald Trump, Yeah, most of them all.

You know when Eileen Werenos and criminal?

Yes, absolutely, So that's fun too.

You know, when gay people have had enough, then you get to have a little dog day afternoon man, and it's like I'm going to you know, realign my life as mine and to find the laws for me, finally living your queer truth out loud if you will.

And that's exactly what Eileen Wenos did exactly.

She did nothing, She did nothing wrong. Any of us would have done that in her situation, any of us complete.

So maybe you can try it.

Laws that I've personally had to come up across in my day, obviously not paying the MTA fine, the fair jumping over a turnstile, yea, yeah, nothing could be Like, nothing is more heterosexual than forcing me to give you money for something that doesn't work. It's like gay services work, okay, Yeah, that's like you trust a gay guy to cut your hair because that ship's going to work.

A gay tailor works.

You know what I mean.

We trust homosexuals. Yeah, yeah, to get from point A to point B.

Yeah.

Similarly, stealing like that was never that was never mine. It was never theirs. Like it's a communal aspect like giving, it's you know, like think about how Robinhood was dressed.

That's very gay.

Yeah.

On stealing, I feel no, I agree with you.

I'm like, so I used to go into an American apparel and I was like, all, this ship is mine.

I was like, this is raw horror pants size twenty four to twenty nine because it didn't go above twenty nine.

This essentially out of there a free man.

Essentially every store is CBS. So I'm like, well, no, one, this is literally a victimless crime. Stealing from any store now, Like it's not like any store is like, oh, this is a mom and pop, Like they've had this little general store and they make their own butter. Like, no, it's all CBS.

I know. By the way, speaking of CVS, you know what is the biggest failure of public policy is the way things are locked in CBS current And I would say that is like, it's like that is laws person exactly. That is what I was about to say, it's like, if you take the ethos of laws to which to its natural conclusion, here's what you get. A store where it is quite literally impossible to buy anything. Yeah, because everything is locked and there's no one there to.

Get the items have already done something to land themselves in pay exactly, and like now the people working like each store is a mega prison with like the clerks are wardens, freeing the deodorant from its sentence.

Oh my god.

And it's devastating because now I worry that we're.

About to enter an era where you can't even run an errand anymore. It's like, that's what's so devastating is like going to CVS used to be so fab Like you know, walking to CVS, hearing the food fighters, you know, blaring so loud. It's like, you know, and just being able to kind of like meander through the lines and then pick up what you wanted.

And then now open a monster and you just sort of drink it while you're there and then it ends up in the trash and you don't have to pay for it exactly.

But now I need to have like five friends sign a petition for me to like buy my neuture gena face wash. I have to like share a fucking go fundme for my toothpaste to be able to like liberate it like a prison. And then you press the button. You press the little button and it echoes over the hollowed halls and just kind of like chronically as.

You pray for a worker to come.

You press the button and suddenly there's an announcement to the whole block. That's like gay guy needs his moisturizer.

Like pressing the button is entering into the consumer consent of like being on blasts. It's like there's no more browsing. Browsing very gay. Just looking looking is gay cruising when you you're cruising, cruising exactly. You could you could find what you want, you could not. You could leave with something that no one knows that you left with that's sexy to take to take away and under no one

I press the button to.

Press the button, and it's like trans guy needs monostatus. Everybody also like.

That, like only so the only action you are legally permitted to do is purchase because guess what, what if I want to just check a bottle and see if it has microplastics, Yeah, that doesn't mean I have to buy it. It's there for my perusal, exactly. I'm not going to call. I'm not going to press It would be humiliating if I press the button. Someone who is being paid negative two cents an hour came got it for me, just for me to be like hmm, never mind, I would hate myself.

I this is like making me actually so upset because walking and going to buy a little thing is like one of the few joys we have in this world. And like, I fucking like hate having the like online subscribe to toilet paper. It's like, what are you talking about?

Subscription services?

This is the other pasty, Like okay, this is the other thing that every item is in prison.

But also every item now has a.

Voice that they talk to you with, Like every item is like hi, I'm winky, the you razor that, Like it's like, no, I don't want to hear you should be silent in my inner pocket or up my sleeve, like a big piece of cheese from Whole Foods that no one will miss. That I do, like, I don't want you to have this agency. That's like, that's why you're in the cage because you started talking. Yeah, these

By the way, guess what you think having you think personifying product is going to make them, make you have a more personal connection to them. It's actually doing the opposite. It's making them so similar to humans that then you're walking around looking at humans and you're like, well, that's basically as good as a detergent. Like I'm not going to respect my fellow man because he's basically just a detergent.

He's Harry's razor.

He's Harry's razors, and I don't give a fuck about it.

I don't.

I'm muting him.

Next thing you know, there's murder on the street. So much for thou shalt not kill.

No, so much for that.

Thanks Harry's Jesus Christ.

And if you're ever a sponsor of this podcast, you can see yourself out. You get a call all the investors have dropped.

Your product.

Random, what are you doing?

You're losing billions billions. I tell you, I'm trying to think if there's any laws I particularly dislike or.

Like no shirt, no shoes, no service. That's insane, that's insane. Yeah, that's a flaw.

This is interesting what you just said, because that is technically Okay, that is technically a rule. It's not in the constitution. However, the way that it's it's it's you know what I mean, Like, I just.

Like Spike, actually did not know that until right now.

I was like, that's in the constitution. That's the fifty of the men.

But I think the way that it's portrayed is making it hold much more. Listen, a sign that says live, laugh, love is just as legally binding as a sign that says no shirt, no shoes, no service. But somehow the ladder has the gravity of law whereas the former doesn't. You know why, because it's sexism, because the former is more feminine and the ladder is more masculine.

Yeah, it's the font difference.

What about the signs that are like in this house, we believe are those as binding if you go into one of those houses and.

Like science is real within our girls, I have.

An answer for that. I think what that is doing is appropriating the sort of rules that you guys were describing as queer. It's like it's like a straight couple saw a documentary about communes in the seventies and then made that as an homage, you know what to rules.

It's the gray area of allyship where you have straight allies and you have very desiring of assimilation gay people. Like it's like the Ruth Konda gay people who put those signs on their lawn because they want to take rules out of our like gay subculture and make them towards laws in me oh like hetero palpable, Like those lawn signs are being like because like we we all know that like love.

Love, that science real.

I don't need to put that on my lawn like a Trump sign to like make that an equal statement.

Like I think it's also.

Right, Yeah, that's smart.

I think it's those very nervous liberals that like watch like an Inconvenient Truth and like live in Portland, Oregon and like adopted a dog in like Twinkie or something and you're like really stressed that all the time.

Exactly, that's a byte record and.

Like have to wear a diaper all the time.

But it's like you're putting that sign in your lawn because you don't want your house to get looted when the grid comes down. I think it's also kind of security measure.

When you're gonna loot, you look for that sign.

And well I wouldn't because those houses looting also should be legal, another fucking botch law. It's like that is a flop. I would never loot.

From the Liberal house because they don't even have any good ship. They just have the dice and that talks to you and like a rumba that they both tried to have sex.

They have.

They do have a vite.

Like I guess I would loot the Scobie mother, but like at that point, if it's like full apocket, it's like what am I going to do with that?

Yeah, I feel like I feel like I know Portland less than you, So I'm like deferring to you.

I'm looting framed museum posters.

Yeah, beautiful.

Well then I guess like, well, what's what's what's the Portland equivalent in New York, like Clinton Hill.

It's like I would definitely.

Lose, That's what I'm saying. And they would have that lawn sign so I'd be like, I'm going in there.

No, I'm going in.

They would.

They would have many beautiful wide legged canvas pants.

I mean the vinyl collections I better to die for.

Yes, I'm getting a paper weight that looks like a nipple and.

It's randomly ten thousand dollars.

Yeah, I would.

Yeah, blanket, a blanket that has boobs that are all different shapes and sizes to symbolize and clothes.

If I never see one of those again, if I never see a tote with every kind of tit that could exist, it will be amazing because because the thing, the thing, the thing with that gets kits are never on there, so it's not true. The thing with like millennial body positivity art is that it can only make you feel worse about yourself because it's like this really hideous, illustrative style where like everyone just looks like they're like

It's like, I don't understand why you want to How can you make people feel better about themselves when you make when when you like de sexualize them, It's like sex is what being sexy is, what makes you feel good about yourself.

Not looking like you are like it's weird flattening.

Here's what millennial inclusivity boils down to this statement, you are beautiful even if you're ugly, Like that is what you are being. Wait, so am I ugly? It's like, yes, you are, and that's okay, Like wait, no, but I thought I was fine. You're beautiful even though you're ugly.

It's like, no, shit, Actually.

It's like you are beautiful even though like one of your boobs looks like a dog ear and the other one got like blown off by a shotgun. It's like, you're so beautiful.

It's like what.

It's the same way where they like reduce it's very laws to be like, okay, you can put tits on a toe bag if they're all two dimensional line drawings. It's like you can do a volva if it's parentheses with an apostrophe in it, to like illustrate that we're all like unique and different. It's like you're actually homogenizing it in this way. That's very like Oscar Healthcare City Bike.

You're deuroticizing it and you're actually further stigmatizing real genitals.

Yeah, which, my shit looks like I went through a wood chipper. And that's why ugly is beautiful.

Frankly, I am ready for the penis version of the canvas toe bag. Yeah, it's like I am ready, And it's just like the bunch of use and like some grape nuts, like when's when's that?

The version that is acceptable is like fruit that's kind of phallic. It's like, no, we're not doing that, Like I need the like ratfink or crumb SpongeBob zoom in Ren and ste.

Medical medical love it. A grid of medical photographs. Get this, a set of coasters. Each of them has a different medical photograph of a misshapen penis. Yeah, and that is literally sold at a Clinton Hill pottery store.

Yes, and each each just want the degrees that it's curved.

Yeah what if you just want no?

But see the fact that that's the thing. See, that's where it's hard because Sam was like, I want that. And that's why gay guys are so high vibrational and smart is because I could be in like a Clinton Hill pottery barn buying like ninety nine dollars like Sheep's milk yogurt, and then like I also want a pillow. That's a pillow, and then like I also want to buy the coaster of like a micro penis with like

Like that's hot.

It's like all bodies are hot because having a body is hot.

Yeah, but they don't want it to even be hot on the toe bag with all the tits. It's like they.

Want it to be like the law is like you must accept this, like we've gone underneath like censorship, Like what would be censored which is actually something hot? Like if it was like if I was walking around the tope bag with a full blue waffle on it, like that would be hot and that would be any listener of this podcast. But like if because it's the little drawings that's law abiding and that's straight. Yeah, Like I'm gonna talk about a gift that I just got, honey, which is an amazing calendar.

Honey, I was gonna ask you about this calendar. Is this the beef calendar?

No, it's the cult calendar and it's from the year nineteen eighty six because it has the same dates as twenty twenty five. Ohazing, smart and he can use the calendar.

But it has and I've been using the calendar.

Wait, oh, I.

Hopeful each each picture is like an amazing It's like a you know, like a guy like just fully spreading in chaps and it's awesome.

It's it's really gooc forward.

Wow.

But that's not what could be on a toe bag.

You can never put that.

I need a toe back that's like good, you know, six inch uncut. But the penis has been run over by a car, you know, I want.

Like tire marks on that ship and stimpy that entire.

The Coba girl who takes pictures of roadkill freak out.

Oh yes, that's right.

She thinks it's punching the Copper girl.

Copper Girl thinks she's all.

In the penis runovers truck and she's like, actually, I'm I'm not by I'm straight.

Yes, She's literally like I'm going to church this and while it lasted, but at twenty three, my period is over.

Yeah, my apartment, my my decor is slowly, slowly turning exclusively into like misshapen dicks. Like that's photo realists.

Give it a Cronenberg up in your like full fallol plastics.

I love it. I can't get enough of this stuff because I my calendar. I got a calendar with also like uh like you know, burly men spreading it. That's really similar to the one that you have, honey. I love.

And that's what needs to be done. It's like you have to take millennial sort of mid like twenty tens millennial host Obama inclusivity and give it a Cronenbergian twist, Like I want Cronenberg to do a reno of every candle and pottery store in Brooklyn and silver Lake, and then we can elect someone in four years that can you know, potentially pass universal health care.

That the path towards it starts with one.

When it's like all the like candles that are shaped like an ass actually like pouring like rancid diary.

Literally just out of the hole.

Yeah that's perfect.

But it's like, I know, it's funny thinking about like post Obama, I feel like I'm doing a George impression when I'm like, it's actually funny when you think of I'm like, yeah, rather.

Than telling a joke, it's just being like, it's actually funny.

I'm like, I'm Monsterdio lab, I'm talking like George.

Well, it's actually funny when you think of like, well, then like what is the post Trump Biden art? But then also what is like Trump art, which I guess is just a I.

N F T. Trump?

And if Trump art is like Elon and Trump are both like nine out tall sumo wrestlers, and they're and and and they're both like taking a bite out of the Eiffel Towers.

Yeah, it's also literally like clips of Theovon's podcast, like that is art. That is Trump era art. That is an Instagram reel of Theovon in conversation with Tucker Carlson. I actually saw video recently where Tucker Carlson says the word nonpartisan, and then Theovan goes, what do you even

That's Trump era art. I've seen this clip. It's rough.

The AI aspect of Trump era art is also like being able to make those videos where it's like Obama is dancing and then turning into Shakira and becoming Jennifer.

And like that's that's like what we have now.

And I think that the Obama era art was also pop art, Like I think it was very like Obama like Picture the Hope. Yeah, that was that's pop art, and like that's what we had. And then the Joe Biden thing is kind of like retirement home paintings, like just like faded dust collecting on the wall, like with like you know, like dry paper whispering in the wind.

And now we're in this full like like as Honey.

Likes to say, Deep Fried AI era, where like it's a repost of a repost so that the quality is going down and it's like people transforming.

And it's also those videos where it's like a split screen and like one half of the video is like hand standing a table or like.

Writing a video, and it's like an AI boy was like when the girl checked her phone there was a text message.

And she was in the car going fast to the grocery store.

It said come home baby, and then there's just like someone cutting cucumber really fast.

Actually, I can't stop thinking about I saw something and I can't tell what to think about it. Where it's like people are you know, there are now like AI accounts and they're like and like people like Twitter and Meta and are like making AI accounts to engage more with real accounts. But it's like becoming this thing where it's eventually just going to be a accounts interacting with each other and it's just going to be like mostly fake. Like what do we do with that?

I mean they're probably gonna have a podcast.

Yeah, I mean literally accounts.

It's gonna be like we have to have sex, like that's what you do. It's like because AI, there's one thing that we can do that they can't do, is have sex. We just have to make sure that we're having sex with.

Each other and not with AI, because that that is don't do that.

I don't do that you guys are that's a rule.

That's a rule, a recommendation, rules, a recommendation.

That's all there, we go, So you are. So it used to be that sex positivity was a response to like Christian like puranism. Yeah, but now sex positivity is vital as a response to AI hegemony. Absolutely and like techno or techno dystopian fascism.

No algorithm robot could create something that could fully penetrate my complete destroyed situation there that is only created by God, and in such a way that it's like, it's like the Goddess of creative creation and destruction at once are my genital and nothing, no amount of If you had a computer work for eighty six billion years, it could not come up with the thing to fit inside there. And that's what's beautiful about human to human sex and sexuality.

That's true. I love that. Okay, back to laws. I have a question.

I was just I was just talking about laws.

But okay, okay, yeah, okay, back back to the topic.

Back to the okay, back to the real topic. Uh, okay, police or lawyers? Which one is straighter?

Oh, this is a question.

It's hard because there's no gay fetish dress up as lawyers.

But okay, so you can't like fetishize like.

You could fetishize like French lawyers like that way fall the wigs and like the little dress you could fetish eye that that does.

There's my instinct is to say lawyers are straighter, and I'm trying to figure out why. Here's why I think, Yes, well, I think is lawyers suit bland, I'll fit, you know.

But there's people who go to the courtroom like looking, that's true, but then they're thinking joker represented himself.

Arguing whatever police you know, say what you want about the politics of policing. They they are wearing sort of campy, draggy costumes.

That's why it gets towards being like yeah.

Yeah, like it's it's it's fetish where and and also frankly, so often you know when they are in repose, they're literally like playing Candy Crush on their phone and there's something actually very sort of like Barista who is being rude to the customers.

About no that's gurly coded for sure.

I feel though, like because they have to uphold the law, they're straighter, and then lawyers are more gay because they're like fighting and tweaking and going in and.

I see that's true.

There's some creativity.

So it's like the fruit ninja of you know, off time of being a cop is straight because there just is this like there just is it this like ghost like drooling kind of like dunce quality to police officers where they're like all it's kind of like slap jawed and like slow, and there's.

Just like that to me is straight. But like when I think of a lawyer, I think about all my gay lawyer friends who like our gay lawyers had to go to gay lawyer school, you know.

And they're like helping us be like be allowed to steal.

Basically totally yeah, gay totally that there is such a rich tradition of gay lawyers, right, that's a great I mean the A c l U is basically just like like a food co.

Op saying may I approach the bench? Like that's gay.

So lawyer dumb is sort of like wizards.

It's behind your back.

So lawyers are kind of like wizards and that they have power but it's good or bad and they have to go to lawyer school and solve crime.

So like an owl kind of comes to their window, right, right.

A lawyers are Gryffindor and cops are Slytherin.

Cops are Baltimore. If we're gonna.

Cops for Baltimore, cops are Buggles. I'm sorry, I can't.

I'm really mad that I just said cops are Baltimore, and.

You know what, I.

Was like, I'm not going to bring it up again. But then you said owl and I was like, Okay, I guess I have permission, Sam, And I'm.

Being Sam right now podcast by saying Sam started.

It, well, I think courtroom dramas are also gay, and so that's lawyer and whereas I think procedurals are straight straight Yeah, I agree, are like.

Great courtroom dramas are gay.

Courtroom dramas like Judge Judy presiding over like a fight that's literally fake, that's like played up for drama, And procedurals are like somebody really needing to protect their dogs.

Yeah, and there's a way in which with the procedural the law prevails, whereas with the courtroom drama it's more like a sort of family play. It's august Osage County. There are people yelling of like you're not. There's not a clearly just audience. So it's literally it's literally theater. It's a black box theater, and they're doing an all and all women and femmes version of King lear.

Well in that moment when the evidence drops, like and you like reveal a nasty photo of like the scene and you're.

Like, oh exhibit A, yes, God, I would kill for that moment.

And there's so many Ryan Murphy, you know, like crime, it's like, you know crime is you know, b gay do crime? Obviously throw up and cry, but you know crime is also pretty gay.

Okay, wait, b gay do crimes? Or throw up and cry?

Yeah, throw up and do crime.

Oh and vomit like vomit artist Lady Gaga on stage during Swine like vomit as crime love.

But then Law and Order s VU is straight.

It's straight totally. People are desperate to make it gay. They're like it's like.

It's like she just is like she's like tough. It doesn't make yes like she's not.

She's not.

She's just like a tough woman.

Christopher Maloney is kind of straggedy though.

You know that as well. Chris Maloney and Oz you know what I'm talking about, Yes.

What it's like it's like Stanley.

He's almost Stanley Chucci levels sing it. Yeah.

Yeah, he's like in the calendar basically.

Like Chris. Chris Maloney's biggest dream is to just show full cock and and he is the horniest motherfucker out there. Yeah, and he's like an exhibition. It's like he wants to show up to your house with like a burbery.

He wants to be like somebody like he wants to be like I'm here to investigate a crime, dress as a policeman and then take it off because he's actually a stress.

Literally, Yeah, it would be amazing.

He's in the writer's room, like, so, and what season do I show Hawk? When am I able to Finally.

Maybe there's a I'm tied to a chair and they need to expose Hog to like blackmail me, like.

Simon, maybe electricute my nipples. But in a way that's pro justice. Yeah yeah.

And Iced Tea is not having it, No, no, he does not having it. He's like cut the funny business.

Yeah, I'm here to work, Tea and that's against the law.

Is such a beautiful American success story to me, Like every time I see him, I'm so happy. I'm like you really you did it like you're.

On you know my relationship with him? Right?

No?

No, and he's like tweeting it's like amazing.

And he has that hot wife who he's so well yeah, and a daughter whose age just stayed the same for like five or seven years. Really perfect.

So my relationship with Iced Tea is that is that I was on one episode of his now canceled court room reality television show The Mediator.

What why what were you doing there?

I was suing my friend?

Was it real?

It was exaggerated?

Sorry, all this talk of laws and rules, you have not revealed that you were in a court room judge Judy style show with Ice teare presumably queer athology is friend?

Yes, yeah, and it I don't know. I had like a like a what did you say?

It was full subterfuge, which makes it even more gay.

Yeah, exactly.

I had someone send me the Craigslist and I was like, you should do this because it seems funny, and I was like, okay, So me and my friend just kind of like concocted we have like a real conflict that we exaggerated for the show, and then we've all met on Skype during COVID and he is an ilegal.

Judge, so but he can be a mediator. So he was able to kind of like preside over the conflict and give us some hips. And the conclusion that he came to is that my friend was just in love with me and that's why her dog shat in my room.

Oh wow, sounds pretty accurate.

Was he right?

Yeah? He is never wrong whatever he says. I just allowed to.

Wow.

Okay, how I feel like we're we're in final thoughts mode, final thoughts about laws, rules and the sexuality thereof.

Laws.

Laws off my terrifying, terrifying genital.

Actually that's a great sign. Laws off my terrifying, terrifying genitalia.

And like I'm but I'm pro rules, Like let's talk.

Yeah, I do want to say no running in the pool, like you're gonna slip and you're gonna fall, you're gonna.

Hurt yourself, but there's no law against it.

So yeah. And also don't go don't go in the pool if you have diarrhea.

Yeah, again that's that's a fuck around and find out and when you enter into those spaces, there's like an implicit CONSENTDA, Like these are pool rules. They're not laws, Like, no one's coming to like haul you away.

They will blow that little whistle. Yeah, there will be some public shaming, but blow the whistle.

Okay.

My final thought is no laws, just the bumper stickers that say grass gas or ass nobody rides free.

Love that period, Yeah, love that all right.

That's my constitution.

Well, also, before we go and before we do our final segment, you are both you're going on tour. Please oh yeah, tell everyone where you are going? Yes, please?

Well, and when.

Going to Chicago on January seventeenth, we're going to the City on Fire on which is LA on the nineteenth if and we're probably we'll see what happens. And then we're going to San Francisco on the twenty fourth or sketch Fest.

Am I forgetting?

Oh it's everything. Oh we had the kickoff show on the fifteenth.

I come on everybody late show because the first show sold out? So get when is this going to come in?

It's coming out on Tuesday.

Perfect, Okay, So preparing this, buy tickets to our show tomorrow in New York City, And if you're anywhere else, break some laws.

And tickets can be found in Lincoln by great the dice situation, and we will there's going to be some tagging. You're going to be able to find that Lincoln bio folks.

You will, folks.

Just break one law today, Yeah, break I encourage one.

Write about it, like, write about it in a letter.

We need to get all show up to Spike on Honey Show without a ticket and then beat up the guy, the guy at the door and just walk in.

Yeah different, definitely, Well ticket ticket buying is more of.

A rule than a law.

But yeah, that's a rule.

That's true.

That's true because there's always list.

But totally wow, Okay, incredible, let's do it. Our final segment is called shout outs, and in this segment we pay homage to the classic straight tradition, straight oral tradition, even of the radio shout out. You're on Z one hundred, you're on t L shouting out something that you just cannot get enough of, and uh as this tradition, we make them up on the spot. Sam, do you have one?

I actually do have one.

Go for it.

What's up freaks, losers and sexual perverts around the globe. I want to give a huge shout out to George Michael's father, Figure.

Yeah.

I love this song and I saw Baby Girl much like many of my peers in the LGBTQ plus community. And while I thought it was not very good shout out to the film I did, it did remind me that Father Figure by George Michael. It's a really good song and I can't stop listening to it. It's always stuck in my and it's that thing of like I know that people have been like, actually, like George Michael is actually really really good, and I've been like yeay, yeah, whatever,

Who Okay, I can go, I'll do. I'll do a movie one too. We're in letterbox mode today. Okay, folks, I want to give a shout out to the actor Channing Tatum. You know, he's easy to overlook because you're sort of like, oh right, you like used to be a stripper and magic Mike, and you're sort of a meathead. I think he's one of the most interesting actors in Hollywood right now. I recently watched Logan Lucky, which I hadn't seen before, absolutely stunning performance. I watched the Zoe

George, I have to did you see Deadpool and Wolverine? No, because Channing Tatum gives a comedic performance that is genuinely so funny in such a subtle, weird way where you're like, damn, he's really got it.

He is one of our great geniuses.

Yeah, he's one of our most genius geniuses. Okay, Spike or Honey. If I don't, I'm not gonna say who should go first? Design amongst yourselves.

I'll go first, Okay. Shout out to Ood. Shout out to Ood.

The fragrance notes, Oh, oh Ud, I've been, you know, developing my signature scent. I've been walking through the journey of how I want to hit people's noses when I enter a room.

So out out to Ud because it's masculine. It kind of smells like poop.

It's kind of awesome to small a little fecal when you realize that there's actually an entire world of dominance, power and magic that can be available to you if you remind people of anal sex anytime you kind of enter into a space with them. That is what empires have been built and then crumbled upon. So I think it's important to really remember that that is there.

So shout out to Ude and smiling a little bit like woody poop.

Whoa, that's wait, this is genius. And I also want to say I've actually shouted out this on the podcast before a bit. So my friend and past guests of the podcast, Tammy Tackle Mariam once wrote she's a food writer and she once wrote a piece about which wine to pair with eating ass, and she described the taste of ass as gamey, which I had never considered before

And I also think that if we want.

To that sicks so true. What what? What?

There was sodomy laws because they wanted to take away the gamy, the glow of eating ass.

Yes and to all be good anti fascists. We need to make sure that sodomy and being good sodomites are ours, that we, you know, define that for ourselves, that it isn't just taken by the pederastic lords that haunt us.

Nobody talks about how like everyone's like sodom and Gomora likes whatever. It's like they had amazing art scenes in those cities.

No one talks about that exactly. They were turning up.

Yeah, okay, Spike, what's up everybody out there in Tinseltown.

I want to give a shout out to my birthplace, Los Angeles. I know what you are thinking when you look at me, that guy's from LA. I people often tell me all the time, you don't seem like you're from LA.

What does that mean?

It means that the popular opinion of someone from LA is that they suck. That's not all the way completely true. That's only a little true, and it's not true in this case. I love Los Angeles. It is one of the most iconic places in the world. There is no place like it. I love New York, but Los Angeles is a cultural epicenter. It made our imaginations what they are,

From with being in New York.

Wow.

Oh quick, last shout out to Blood Smells good, tastes good.

Yeah, pop, honey, I can't.

Believe I'm so upset that we're talking about.

Also, like graphic design wise, you know they both have two o's. You could so easily do it, sort of like fun blood and poop logo. That's true.

Also, Spike, I do think people thinking you're not from LA shows like a misunderstand, like people don't know what LA is. Yeah I am.

I'm incredibly haunted.

I'm incredibly like old and scary, and yet everybody wants a piece. People come there thinking there to me think they're going to find themselves. They realize just how lost they are, and they tremble in my wake. I am too powerful for them, and that is exactly why I'm like Los Angeles. And I'm also a fun, fun, fun surfer boy till my daddy took my t bird away.

Well see Spike and Honey on tour. And also we're going to be in San Francisco on the seventeenth of January from Sketch Fest.

Sam's on the show.

And I'm on the show in La on the nineteenth.

Yes, yes, yes, day before the inauguration, day before the audation.

Damn all right, y'all. Wow, Well, thanks so this has been a real treat.

Thanks so much for having us lovell laws by Bye bye.

Podcast and now want more. Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month, discord access and more by heading to patreon dot com. Slash Stradio Lab.

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Created and hosted by George Severs and Sam Taggart.

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Co produced by by Wang, edited.

And engineered by Adam Avalos.

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