"Hootie-hoo, Holiday Call-In" w/ Sam & George

Who Do Who. Special announcement alert, I repeat special announcement alert. If you live in the city of San Francisco, California, we are doing a big, jam packed Stradio Lab live show on Friday, January seventeenth at Cobbs Comedy Club as part of SF's Sketch Fest. We cannot wait to see you, guys. Tickets are available in our Instagram bios and on linktred dot com slash Stradio Lab. That's l I n K t r ee dot com slash Stradio Lab. Tell your friends,

Wow. Episode starts now of Patreon exclusive but not exclusive because I think we're gonna release it for everyone.

Patreon starts now of what episode starts now with Patreon.

Exclusive episodere exclusive that we're actually good knowingly going to unlock, so it's not exclusive.

How dare you no? It's okay, I can start over listen. Here's the thing we are. We have two episodes that there's two dates, one is Christmas and one is New Years, of course, and it would be so unfair to a guest to release their original episode on those dates because very few people listen. So you know, we gotta do some re releases. We got to do some Patreon releases.

We were going to just do a re release and then we were like, well, we could just put a Patreon it there.

Let's do a Patreon Oh please, everyone likes a call in show for crying out loud.

I'm feeling I'm feeling.

Cozy woesy today. You know, it's it is. This will be one of those amazing episodes where it gets dark as I'm recording, which everyone loves, and I will slowly be sort of less and less well lit until I decide to turn on a lamp that somehow has like prison like like a prison like light cast on my face. Yeah, and I will be once again Pamela Anderson Stuns without makeup at the U a press screening of the Last Showgirl in Detroit.

The way that that is like such shorthand now like when I'm like last night, I was trying to put together an outfit and I was like, I like it, but it's not Sam Stun's a new photo, like, and I'm like, I do want Sam Stun's a new photos.

Sometimes I have to say I've been feeling less. I've been feeling less and less George Stun's and recently I kind of think there's something about the end of the year. I'm like, well, it's up, but up or rap up in terms of my own appearance, and yeah, like I kind of am not putting effort and I'm like, twenty twenty five there's gonna be some stunning happening. Do you have any goals? Actually, yes, I do. Oh really, I mean we could do yeah, we could do one year's

Oh that's a good goal.

I think it's simple enough. It's also flexible. Listen if I'm busy, even just sitting down and trying to write one stand up joke or something will be enough. Doesn't have to be that. I'm working on my big opus. Yeah, but I think, uh, having a you know, really committing to a daily practice is something I've never done. I'm one of these people that like doesn't do anything for months and then sits down and has like a really productive weekend where suddenly I do everything I've been putting off.

No, that makes sense. I don't have one yet. It's too early. I think what I was saying is I'm in such a like just get through the day like I'm in such a like.

Same that's why, yes, And I like.

I literally don't know where else to find extra time, and I'm like, what is my goal? Like I'm pretty regimented during the week, but what is my goal for in general? I think I do need to like carve out maybe not like a daily thing, but like a weekly like check in with myself because I am just like letting weeks fly by and being like, well, I was busy when I was busy, while I was busy, and it's like I think I'm just always going to be busy, and I need to start to prioritize me again.

No, I know it's it's sort of the most cliche problem to have, but it is just simply so true. Like in order to accomplish anything, you have to basically be like a task master. You really have to be your own like abuse work manager. It was like sending you a slack at a Sunday morning, being like, have you done this?

I'm also feeling like a sort of hangover of like in LA I've been so like I need friends, I need to find my community, I need to find circles, and like I need to get involved with people. And I'm sort of like, actually, like I now I know enough people. I need to like focus on like working again. Like I've sort of been like anything for you just gotta make friends. You gotta make friends, and you gotta get out there. And now I'm like, okay, I've just been out all the time. Yeah.

No, there's the pendulum does swing kind of depending on one's mood where you want to be like, hey, I'm not gonna do hustle culture. I'm actually going to prioritize the things that make me happy. And then you prioritize them too much and you're like, okay, well, I'm literally just going out and I actually do need to do a little bit of hustle culture. Yeah, I think you prioritize that too much, and then because that feels good when you really are like, damn, I'm crossing the off my to do list.

But the way, like the way sitting next to me, just out of frame is a giant pile of clothes that I've just like collected over the week. It's like stuff like that. I really got to like figure it out.

No, I completely agree. I have a you know, I have a sort of master to do list that I just kind of update. It's all one it's always one document. I just kind of like updated as I get things done. And I made a new one that was like to do before I leave, because I'm leaving for the holidays in two days, and of course I put literally everything I've had to do for the whole year on it, and I'm like, all right, so now I have two

This is like, so you coded though, like I know, I had a thought. Okay, I don't mean this to be offensive. Tell me what you think about this. I think sometimes you believe procrastination is real, Like you are like, well, if I put it off till tomorrow, I don't have to do it till tomorrow, and like in a way where I'm like, but you still have to do it, like the story telling yourself stories where to Live. If you're like, Okay, I need to do this, I'll do

Yeah.

No, I And of course you are.

But it's funny.

I'm like, then I will say then I also am actually very in my own way self sacrificing when it comes down to it. It's like, when it needs to happen, I will, you know, cancel important plans to do something because I don't want to disappoint the person that I owe it to.

Totally.

I'm not going to like miss a deadline necessarily. Yeah, And then of course that makes me feel even more virtuous when in fact it's a completely self imposed prison that I'm in, Like, and then suddenly I'm like, God, look at me. I'm like really putting work ahead of everything because I cancel this dinner.

And then the pendulums, I'll swing and the next week you're going out all the time.

Yeah, it's true.

Wow. Well, sorry to drag you right up top.

I didn't mean to no, no, no, Well, we thought it would be a fun thing to do to take some calls that have been absolutely burning a hole in our inbox. We are you laughing at?

Oh? Sorry, the transition's tough.

Shall we Let's okay, so let's take some calls.

Let's take some calls our listeners, O, dear listeners.

You know, just treminder you can always call it three eight five gay guys. And we listen to literally every call. We're not gonna play every call, but we do listen to every call, especially the ones that are over three minutes long. And then someone calls back and is like, Hi, this is Mark again, as I was saying.

We had a three minute long call.

Oh, there's many because that's when it cuts off.

Wow.

And by the way, I appreciate it. Okay, okay, So here is.

One George Sam.

Hello.

I like your podcast a lot. I was wondering if.

You guys have ever considered that you're like bizarro version of Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey, because you're like Greek and Midwestern, respectively. I didn't get much further than that, but my husband didn't lull his eyes when I brought it up, So I love youa.

I just thought this was a funny call. And then I was like, which one is Joey and it's Dave Coolier.

Yeah, no, I see it, and so it's.

Like John Stamos and Dave Coolier and I was like, wait, this actually kind of not to say that we physically resemble them that much, but I definitely see the parallel and I could see that being maybe a new kind of visual that we play with.

I love the visual. I see it very clearly. And is it perfect? Of course not, but nothing nothing is, And I think it's it's fun. It's our own sort of three tickets to challengers. Please you can see it.

Okay, next call I Sam and George.

This is Eric A calling, and I am wondering if you two could tell me whether you think we are in an optimism deficit or an earnestness deficit, because I think that's what our country is experiencing.

I'd like to hear your thoughts, and this is a deep cut, but since I'm here, George, what about Bob Sippolski's class was so inspiring to you that you kept the Zebra's book wondering and asking for a friend?

Bye?

Okay?

Are we in an optimism deficit or an earnestness deficit? I know it feels like we've answered this question before, but I want to tackle it head on.

I have one question about this question. Are these two separate questions or is this like a binary that's being created.

I think that there are two separate Okay, great, okay, great, because I think those can coexist.

Yeah, I agree. What do you think? You know?

It's really difficult, so so true. I I know what it's tough because we are definitely in an earnestness deficit. If you take as earnestness like the lin Manuel Miranda Ethos, you know what I mean, Like that feels like it is on its way out, the kind of like hard on your sleeve, vulnerable, constantly on the verge of tears, one person show that ends in a pleat for everyone

Yeah, totally that.

But I think whatever that is, whether you defind that as earnestness or whether you define that as like a cynical similar crum of earnestness that is over like that is out. People don't want, you know, people don't want a solo show that ends in an uplifting node. People don't necessarily want Beyonce to stop a song midway through and say the Dictionary definition of feminism.

Like, yeah, they want.

Something more and something with a little more edge.

Yeah, they want crunchy, they want a little bit, they want less clear, they want more of like a fuck you than a like we all need to love each other.

Yeah, exactly. And there's actually a way we sort of threw the baby out with the bathwater because people were like, all you no Miranda adjacent. People are being fake and therefore kindness is over, you know what I mean, Like I think that the people were like, earnestness is corny.

Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. I think it's it's pretty definitely over, and optimism couldn't be more over, I think, I mean, with the Trump presidency, I really think it's like no side is like this is awesome, like even the side that one is like finally there will be suffering, Like thank god, I can like make these people suffer. I'm fucking sick of these people, and it's like even that's not like this is gonna it's not like happy, it's like still just like out of anger and stuff.

I think that the the the little shot of optimism we had the single day that Joe Biden dropped out, before you could even like contemplate what the next steps would be, there was something that was like we were being edged for four years and you know, for the length of the campaign, let's say, and then finally there was like a piece of news that felt good.

Yeah.

We didn't even stop to think, like is it actually good news. It was just like, well, it's the opposite of the thing. We don't want this.

I mean, this is literally like the Shooter again, Like the Shooter also was like it's like, well, this is like okay, like maybe maybe something will happen with all this, Like this is kind of interesting and it is just like.

I actually think the Shooter is an example of the kind of like it's almost like the Shooter response, which is so dark and so enmeshed with like embedded into like a sarcastic, ironic tone or something, is like, what is replacing optimism and earnestness?

Yeah, yeah, totally. I think so too.

So of course, listen, the give and take between earnestness and irony is something that is not you and has gone. The pendulum has swung back and forth for generations, and honestly, neither option is inherently politically better than the other. So it's just a matter of how you use irony or how you use earnest Yeah.

I'm excited for when the pendulum swings back. I hope that we're like because we'll be older, we'll be like a little more out of touch. I hope we like fully get earnest in a way that's so embarrassing. I think that could be really fun.

It will happen next time the bendulum swings back. We will absolutely be like MSNBC moms who are like, why can't everyone just get along? Yeah, we have to buy tickets to the Nutcracker.

I really look forward to that for us.

I kind of agree that it's gonna be an amazing moment of just exhalen. Yeah, finally, Okay, this one is very you coded.

Hi Sam and George, first time caller. I have emails before I was on like one of the first Earnestness Bonanzas a long time ago. Anyway, this is not related to that. You told me to watch Adaptation and Madam X and it was great and I appreciate it and I have grown as a person because of it.

Anyway, move on.

I want to sue something creative, but I live in the Midwest.

Is it worth it?

And like, for context, I don't live in deep Midwest, like I live in Detroit, so like I obviously live in like a metropolitan area. But it still feels like there's no point in doing anything if you don't live in New York or LA. So sorry to bring up that dichotomy that is well discussed, however, Yeah, is it worth like doing something creative? Or do I in the Midwest if I have no intention to move to the coast, Like that's expensive. It's so much cheaper to live here anyway.

And it's still expensive to live here.

Oh that cheeto and chief, thank you, thank you for the information or in help.

Goodbye.

I'm gonna let you take this.

Yeah, you should still do it, of course, of course. Can I tell you what I'm out? That's insane o, Yeah, this is of course you should do stupid bitch, you dumb bitch.

Of course you should do, dumb bitch do Your creative time is running out. We are on this world for one life only, and you're not gonna pursue a creative passion because you live in Detroit.

I mean, honey, go to the damn open mic. It'll be the one of the weirdest experiences you ever see, and you maybe will find one single friend if you go for a few weeks.

We are booking our travel. We're booking our flight to Detroit, coming to your house forcibly removing you and taking you to a local art opening. You're gonna have a glass of orange wine and you are gonna network with the local artistic community.

I'm like, I understand. Maybe it's harder, it's like smaller scenes and stuff. I also, you don't specify what type of creative pursuit you want, so that I also have that question does complicate it. But I think in if it's something where there's like it requires sort of a social scene, I do feel like there it will be one, even if it's smaller and there already is one.

Yeah, I mean, needless to say, at a very basic level, you should. You can pursue a creative outlet without wanting to monetize it, which I know is almost condesce, but you know what I mean, Like, at the very very basic level, if pursuing something creative is gonna give you joy, you should do it, period, even if it's literally like you're performing in front of like an empty wall. Yeah,

Y'all?

And the the Internet actually makes it so that random people who are on TikTok in Minnesota can suddenly sell out arenas in Los Angeles.

Yeah, it's true. Shout out to our boys.

People that are shout out. People that are selling ceramics in Illinois can make an Etsy store, and someone in Berlin can.

Order one, and they'll say I got this from an artisanal person in Illinois.

And people be like, oh, what's the what is Illinois? So of course you should pursue it. And I guarantee you that it will bring you so much happiness, whether it's finding a community, whether it is you know, potentially in future, pursuing it in a more professional capacity, or whether it's just the fulfillment that comes from following through on something you've always wanted to do.

Yeah, exploring.

Oh this is a fun one.

Hey, Sam and George Mary fucked kill Santa the Grinch in Frosty the Snowman.

Thanks by this feels quite easy to me. And I'm not trying to be like super.

Literal, right, No, I know what you're gonna say, kill the Grinch.

I actually would marry Frosty the Snowman and I would fuck Santa. Oh I see yeah, because I don't I don't want like to marry a celebrity, like I want to have sex with Santa Claus and say like, I actually had sex with Santa and people will be like, really, what was it? Like? Like that sounds fun to like talk about at a party, but it doesn't sound like if I were Desanta, it would be like all about his work schedule, like everything would be like we'd have to relocate to the North Pole.

Yea.

And the Grinch, I'm just like, I don't care how fat that ass is. You are a nasty green bitch.

Totally.

So how do you.

Feel it's funny? I need to investigate this, But my initial instinct was fuck the Grinch.

You want to fuck the Grinch.

And I think there's something about the Grinch being so like such a nasty man that you're like, aybaty, he's gonna bed Yeah.

No, but it's incredible.

That said, I have to say, you know, on a literal level, being intimate with someone with such hairy green fingers really freaks me out. And so it would have to be I'm sorry to say this, a human person with the vibe of the Grench rather than the literal green Grinch.

Yeah, the green the face is like, so.

I mean, he's ugly, he's on a track.

He's on the track.

I would fuck Jim Carrey before they put him on the makeup chair, yeah, when they were filming the Grinch film. Yeah, and then I would. I actually would, maybe Mary Santa, really I don't know. Maybe I'm feeling kind of power hungry today. I totally get where you're coming from. And of course Frosty would be such a sweet, caring husband and you would just have this amazing middle class life in a cabin in the snow. But there's something. I think it's the end of the year. I think it's

I'll say North Pole, I'll say, you're present hungry. You're trying to marry the man that makes and gives all the presents.

I'm present hungry. And you know what else I want to be. I want to be a gay mister Clause, like a gay Missus Clause. And I want my thing to be like doing charity work and hosting galas and I see it, you know, kissing babies and shaking people's hands and honestly being like on the cover of Out magazine and the Advocate as like the first game missus Claw.

That would be amazing. Also, I imagine I'm playing out the scenario and like on Christmas Eve, Santa's like, Okay, I have to go do my thing. You know, my ass is getting on scruff Sniffies, grinder, Rowler, all everything, and my phone is hot as hell, and I'm saying who is nearby? Who is nearby? I have one night.

If you don't think I'm fucking the elves, you're living in a dream world. There's just I think what it is is like the Santa world is more developed. I mean, the Grinch world is also developed, but you obviously don't want to be married to the Grinch. But the Santa world is so developed that you're like, oh, fun, it's Christmas.

I like that. I think that's nice, and I like that we have different answers. Yeah, all right, before we can, I say something please, I'm kind of Grinch coded this year. Really, I'm like I hate presents. I'm like turning into this like crank about Christmas in a way that is weird where I like the vibe. I like like jingle bells and snow falling and lights, but I'm like I hate presence.

I'm like, no, I'm right there with you.

Present. It's like pissing me off that I have to do this and no one is going to even like really, it's not like you're getting something for a child and they're like, oh my God, this is amazing. You're just like, Okay, I found the shirt. Do you like it?

Yeah? It is making me violently angry this year.

I hate it.

I am so frustrated. And it also there is this part in the movie Friends with Money where Frances McDormand I think, is sort of in a depression and she has stopped shampooing her hair and she has this speech where she's like, I just realized, Like I just shampoo it, then it gets dirty. I shampoo it, then it gets dirty. Like what is the point of just like doing this

Basically all I want is like buy dinner, Like can we all just like take turns buying dinner and that's like it like bring a nice bottle of something over, bring up fancy candle, like I'm sick by something. When you're traveling, Yes, buy me a funny T shirt when you're in Paris.

Yeah, No, it's a or I don't know. On the other hand, when you do have a perfect gift for someone, it's so rewarding, but you just want to be like, Okay, well then let's do that. Let's just do the good part. Yeah, if I will, if I have something in mind for someone that's great, then also have to buy five cardigans for no reason.

It's it's it's just too much.

No, I completely agree, And I'm like, especially this year that I'm traveling, just like having to think of which gifts can I buy that actually fit in a suitcase, and which gifts can I buy in my travels to bring back.

I have the same thing, not international, but still annoying as fuck.

Yeah. No, it's it's also I have to say, I feel like there was this era where people would constantly talk about how gift giving, how holiday gift giving is such a bacchan all of consumerism and how you know there are ways to be more sustainable about bah blah blah, and then everyone just sort of like let go of

Yeah, I even thinking about that. I'm like, I have like what feels like one million family members, and like we only have two like little babies in our family, And so I'm like, do we all get that? Like it's fun to buy babies things? But it's like, are you guys gonna end up with like a pile of shit and be like annoyed?

Yeah, it's confusing. Here's what I'll say. You know, the trope of successful absent father who has his assistant by gifts.

Uh huh.

I'm officially forgiving that tripe. I think I think too that is okay, you know what I mean, Like, I'm like, guess what, there are other things that I don't forgive him for I mean, he should show up to the recital. He should be.

There at the soccer game.

Be there at the soccer game. He should you know, be considerate of his wives, his wife's needs and not constantly undermine her. But like, if you have an assistant, by all means, use them to buy your Christmas gift.

Yeah, I literally want to be that. Now I'm like, who will do my shopping for me? This is like, so basically my whole afternoon is going to ruin because I'm gonna be online and nothing. I'm not gonna like anything, but I'm gonna have to pull the trigger on something and just be like, sorry, I hope you like it.

The online thing. I hate this actually hate the online thing is also I'm like, they should shut down the internet for the month of December and that because guess what, limitations are productive? When you have limitations, you make better decisions. Only brick and mortar holiday shops shut down the internet. Shut down the internet for December. The one yes, we can keep giving gifts if everyone insists, But the one rule is it has to be from a boutique.

Not to beat New York versus LA again, but in La you can't just go You have to go to a mall if you want to shop. And it's like in New York you have this like romantic like, oh is it gonna snow today. I'm like, I'm walking through Williamsburg and going into all the stores and finding the perfect thing, and every place has a curated Christmas playlist and you're like, this is so like there's something a little playful about it. Yeah. And here I'm just like,

No, it's also I just want to say, the false promise of a Christmas market, do not piss on me and tell me it's training God, not a single thing in a Christmas market is worthy of my money in any way.

We should have a Christmas little and then we should vomb it because little that stuff is usable as a gift.

I swear to God, why would I want like a little piece of wood that has a carving on it? And it says like, nephew, shut shut up the unit. There is nothing worse than the Union Square a Christmas market. Every year, I think I'm going to go in and like find not even that I'm looking for gifts, obviously, but like even find a nice you know, spiced hot toddy or something. And somehow every year I come out, it's like you know a movie where someone comes out

It's no the Union Square market is actually one of the worst in the world. It's crazy that there hasn't been an expose on how bad it is.

You know, it's like owned by some fucking real estate company or something like some developer.

This feels like such a healthy expression of our negative feelings. I'm so glad we're popping off.

I know, I agree, all right, let's care, hey.

George and Sam. My question is, unfortunately about gay marriage, which you have discussed, is in harony, tacky, and nature. I am a Mexican and my fiance is Venezuelan. We haven't booked in New York, thank you so much. And in terms of tackiness versus chiefanys, we were wondering if George could give wedding advice when it comes to languages, and we're gonna get married in Mexico, and do we do it all in Spanish so there's like a fear factor for the Americans, or do we treat some English

Who knows.

Maybe at this point, if you will still only speak one language, I think it's, you know, time to grow up. Sorry Sammy, anyways, is thank you by got your fuck?

Okay. I don't want to be prescriptive here because I don't know the details of your family. To me, my main point is just there's nothing more shape than a bilingual wedding. Like I actually wanted to have more Greek at my wedding, and I even told my mom that I wanted her to potentially do a reading in Greek, and she was just very matter of factly like why people wouldn't understand this? And I was like, got my

Yeah, if you had gotten married in Greece, how would that have changed? Do you think?

I just honestly, I can't even tell you because I

Wedding that rocked the podcast world.

I will say that was both brides were Spanish speakers, but that was all in English, and I have to say I appreciated it, of course, because I could understand everything that was being said and it was a very multicultural crowd. But what I have also founded really chic if it was all in Spanish, yeah, and I would have actually kind of loved that. So my current mood tells me lean into Spanish. But I also think as

Beautiful.

Do you were there things at my wedding, Sam that you were like, I want to where I don't want to do that at mine? Not to trick you.

Yeah, I was like, who the hell is your ghosts? I was like, this wedding's for George. Get your ghosts out, Show me where this your ghost is and get him out of here.

Yeah.

No, it was. Your wedding was incredibly chic all around. And in the new year, I'm going to ask.

You how ooh oh yeah this by the way, this year, You're year's asolution is figure this out to plan your way out. Yeah, that's your year's resolution. Okay, oh, this one is a fun one. By the way, I just want to say to everyone, we specifically ask for spicy and controversial questions, and our listeners are so sophisticated, well read, and absolutely addicted to nuance that every single question is like, can you please unpack this philosophical question I just had?

All right, Hi Torton fam, big fan of the podcast. You guys are truly my comfort listen in these trying times. I want to ask, how do you think about familiarity and comfort versus novelty and excitement in your lives? Do you have a mixed do you value one more than

Like this?

Okay, thank you? Excited to hear it.

That's by interesting question, is yeah, like, how do we do we prefer familiarity and comfort over novelty and excitement? And how do we conceptualize the place each of those two things has in our lives.

I feel like I am it's different. Different segments of my life are different. When it like when it comes to food, it really I really prioritize familiarity and comfort in a way that is like almost like I'm like selling myself short, like but because like I hate when

Well, I definitely think, if I may be so bold, both of us are into familiarity and comfort when it comes to like our primary romantic relationships. I think we're both relationship girls. Yes, and I think we really value we really like. Yes, we love going out, Yes we love exploring, but we love being cozy with our man.

It's true, and it feels less juicy to talk about, so we don't talk about it as much, but it's true.

We love a like Sunday morning of you know, having having our coffees together. We love a dinner at home. We love being with each other's families. To an extent, we love we you know, I think like I think we like building a home.

Yeah, we do cancers, not to not to beat that, but it's very cancer I will say.

I definitely it's complicated because I want to, like, when it comes to art, I seek out the unfamiliar. That's like what I want to say about myself. But then ultimately it's like I seek out a very specific kind of unfamiliar, which is like I want something that feels that feels like it would be like written up in

Yeah.

I think as I've gotten older, I've become up slightly better about that, But I don't know. And then I also I think my thing, here's what I'll say. I think my thing with novelty is I get very antsy when I'm in the same position for too long. I'm like always having a new job. I'm always Before I met Matthew, I was always moving. I like move apartments every year. When I finished high school, I like immediately went to college, like the farthest I could possibly go.

That's interesting.

So I think in my day to day, Yeah, I think big picture, I like stability, but small picture day to day, I'm like, oh, I want to wake up the next day and like go on a trip.

That's very interesting. I feel like maybe I'm more towards the familiar, Like I really like having all my like knowing, like I'm obsessed, Like when I was in New York I was obsessed with, like I need to find an apartment that I can stay in for a long time because I don't want to have to think about apartments or like I want to find like I'm obsessed with like finding stability in order to be in like be able to just like have free freedom in my mind.

You need a home base that you can always return to so that you can go have your adventures.

Yeah, and even like travel, I like I like going places, but it is like it feels like like there's something about it, like traveling in excess. I'm like, well, that would be wasteful, Like there's something where I'm like, well, yeah, I can go on one trip like every three years, like which isn't true, like you can just go somewhere, but.

No, you can, and you can actually do it in an affordable way. Like you you know, you develop such or I develop such resentment for people that are constantly traveling because I'm like, oh, you stupid, rich bitch. And then you realize that actually, if you just prioritize it and you, and that is where your money goes, rather than fucking restaurants and living in New York City. Yeah, then there is in fact a way to do it

Say that. Damn. I love Collin shows.

I know it's so fun.

I need some advice. What would you do if you really like someone, you want to be their friend, but you despise their partner. Yeah, let me know, excell So.

This is a tough one. This is a tough one. This I'm trying to think who I have in my life that's even like this. Okay, I've got one.

Damn that didn't take that.

It does make it complicated. Yeah, I mean, I think the sad part is it will affect the friendship no matter what. There's no way to avoid it, and it just is like you have to sort of compartmentalize a bit.

This is something straight people are great at. Just to bring it back to gay versus straight, there is something I when my when a friend of mine starts dating someone, I don't like I take it as this like huge momentous event that I will have to navigate, and I'm like, okay, guys, like let's all get together and figure out what our approach is because this is code read, you know. And then for straight people, they basically all hate each other's husbands off.

It's like assumed.

It's like it's assumed, and it's this weird or not weird, but this just like unspoken undercurrent that run through everything. And in that sense, they're almost, in their own way more evolved because they can actually like hold two thoughts in their brain at the same time. Like imagine dinner party that's three straight couples and basically all the wives like I think the rest of the husbands are assholes.

Well, you're pointing something. I think it's almost like a technique so that monogamy is enforced because you're like if you if your wife like thinks that guy is cool and like likes, then she's then they're gonna hook up. Like it's like no, you have to dislike your girlfriend's husband because because if not, then are you trying to steal him?

Like yeah, no, it's basically just psycho sexual mind games. Yeah, constantly, well via conversations about like real estate advocation.

And this is why it's gave us as straight too, because if you're hanging out with another gay couple and you're like you are vibing with the partner, you can almost be like, wait, are we all going to hook up? Like so you were like you want to get along with everybody.

I have to say I recently had an experience where I'm going to try to really anonymize this, but I had an experience where I met someone and I was like, I like, turn to my friend and I was like, do you know who that is? Why does he have such an insane energy? And then my friend was like, oh, like we're hooking up and like I brought him here? I was like what I And I actually genuinely did it. I had to. I had to take an off ramp off of my like I had to say like two

The breaks have been cut exactly.

Like I can't just go go right to being like, oh, sorry, I was kidding, he's actually great. I was like I said something. I was like, well, he has a very particular energy. I was just like, sorry, I can't. I can't, like, I can't just pretend this isn't real. I already broke the seal. I'm sorry, I made my first faux pas. I just have to make it clear that this person is so often.

I love that you had like double Jeopardy rules where you're like, well, already you can't arrest me again. I already made the faux pall. Now I'm going to live.

I could feel myself. I could feel I mean, I used to be much worse about things like this when I was younger. I would like openly roll my eyes, but like, I do feel like I've gotten better, but I just couldn't. I don't know, I couldn't. There's also something about gay guys. There's just so many of them, and you meet them all the time, and you're sort of like, life is too short for me to interact with this person or so many other gay guys.

I could be interact I know, life is so short.

I will say, we're not necessarily giving advice to this to this caller. I mean, I think.

You have to suck it up.

Yeah, yeah, and you just have to suck it up, sorry, because it's not worth losing a friend over it.

And the more that you dislike this partner, the more they're going to fall in love with each other for some reason one. So you have to like be chill about it and then let it happen on its own.

And it's okay to occasionally, you know, have some friend time that isn't with plus one.

It's great to do that. And sometimes you find little glimmers of liking that person that sucks, and you're like, well, that was fun, that's true.

I actually had that this is not someone's romantic partner. But last night at Max's there's this one person who I've always found. I'm sort of like, why is everyone pretending this person is in our community because I don't like them? And then last night I actually had a great conversation with him. But I was like, oh, it's my prejudices.

Wow, love that. Yeah, that's nice to have happened.

Hi, this is Shannon. I'm calling to ask you if you got turned into a vampire, how much of your current lifestyle would have to change and how long do you think it would take other people to notice feeling like all the usual like can't go out of the suddenly you gotta drink blood to live? What would that change about how.

You're currently living your life? All right, have a good day. Bye.

Well I think people would notice pretty quick here in sunny Los Angeles, California.

Here's my question. Am I allowed to have my laptop in my little casket? Because that would definitely make things a lot easier if I could, you know, be on slack beyond email, potentially read the news while I was while I was down there during the day, and then you know, at nighttime I'm going to basement.

I mean, I'd really have to focus on the night life.

Yeah, but I do think that it would actually be an amazing way for me to go out more, which is something I've been wanting to do. Yeah, is if I just was a vampire?

Has there been a movie about a vampire who's just like a club kid New York?

I'm sure there has, Yeah, because it much like yeah, much like our point about how if you live in Detroit, there are more people than you think that are interested in your creative pursuit. There are always more vampire media properties than you have literally done it. They have explored every possible angle. Yeah, and I'm actually sort of like, good, Yeah, I like vampires. I'm like, I get why this is a kind of like one of these cultural tropes that

Well, they're literally the sexiness is like built in, Like vampires are supposed to be sexy, So it's like, okay, well that's fun.

Here's another thing about being a nightlife vampires, Like you actually meet so many annoying people when you're out late at night that you wouldn't feel bad about eating them.

Yeah, that's true. I think that's a really smart point.

So I guess it would take a few weeks for he will note.

You know, what I've never understood about vampire lore is like, I understand they want to drink blood and they're like sexy, but like, do they have sex? Still?

Well, if you're watching interview with a gay interview with a vampire on a AMC Plus or whatever streaming platform it's on, you better believe they're fucking.

Oh that's good, okay.

But it you are right though, that like the the sensuality comes from the forbidden nature of the touching. It's like, yeah, I mean Twilight too. That's literally why it's a warm in metaphor because he like, he was like, if I come anywhere near you, I will be too tempted to.

Suckle blood issue.

So but but wait, is that so you're you're asking, which I think is an important question for them, is the blood sucking the sex?

Sex? Yeah? Like, is it all just a trap in order to get blood? Or is it? Like, but today I actually am horny, didn't want to have sex.

I'm googling do vampires have sex?

It's crazy because I can actually see your screen.

Oh my god, Yes, vampires can have sex. Okay, well that's an AI answer. A vampire's bite is not a metaphor for sex. Vampires have sex. Oh, they have grade sex. Oh they also need to feed on human blood to survive. Okay, so they do both. There you go, Well, that's fun.

That's fun. That's good to know. I was. I was just saying that how much I like, we were saying, we like that they explore vampires every way, And I'm actually like, I'm now questioning whether or not that's true for me.

Say more, Well, I'm like.

I actually, whenever something is a vampire thing, I'm actually a little bit like I don't want to see that.

Have you seen a girl walks home alone at night? No, it's really good, it's a it's a vampire move.

I don't know.

I here's what I think about virus. I think that the darkness of it makes it so that a lot it weeds out a lot of people who would make super corny art about it.

Yeah, ah, do I believe that.

I mean, of course there is a lot of corny art about vampires, but I'm just thinking, like, uh, it's so much easier to make corney art about like.

I don't know.

I was about to say ghosts, but that's not true. Actually, ghosts are way more interesting than vampires because it's about a relationship with death.

I feel like vampires it's like it's a very teen esthetic. It's very like like the mood, the gothiness is so teen, and then like.

It's Emily the strange.

Yeah, and then like the horniness that's like not really horny, where it's like I shouldn't I should, I shouldn't I should. That's very teen, even like being like I have fangs is so like MySpace coded in a way.

Yeah. I think there's a lot to be appreciated in the an Rice universe. And I do wonder if it wasn't for her, if vampires would have fallen off, so to speak, because otherwise we have obviously Dracula, yeah, which you know, sort of vintage but like outdated. And then of course there's all the teen stuff like True Blood Twilight. True Blood was cool when it came out.

I remember, did are you excited to see No Sparatu? Sure?

I actually haven't seen any of his movies none. Wait did he do the Vivic Yeah? Okay, then I have seen that.

I didn't see that one. I saw The Northman.

Wait, no, not Dave Eggers. What's his name?

Is that?

Not it Dave Beggars is the author? It is he is Robert Eggars. Yeah, okay, so yeah, I've only seen The Witch. I know people love the north Man. I also was always curious about the Lighthouse with Robert Potwell.

Oh yeah, I meant to see that, but but I would I would see us Farau too sure. I think it'll be fun.

I I've been uninspired. I know there's there's some good movies that right now, but I don't know, I've been a little uninspired.

Yeah, you know what you mean. I mean, even like the way that people are like trying to gig guy ifi baby girl. I'm like, I'll watch it. I'm excited, but I'm like, but I don't feel it deep in my soul. Like when Challengers came out, I was excited in this. I'm like, yeah, like I'm Nicole Kidman whatever. I'm sure it'll be fun.

I've heard she's amazing in it, and I'm excited to see it. Nicole Kidman works too much and we don't have the opportunity to miss her before she comes back.

Yeah.

I just remember, like when Mary of Eastown came out and Kate Winslied came onto the screen, I was like, thank god you're back. Like, and she also works a lot, it's not like she was she had disappeared. Yeah, I with Nicole Kidman, she's just constantly doing something and I somehow find a way to watch everything, and so it sort of just feels like seeing a family member again.

Yeah, I mean, I think I'll enjoy it. I'm be excited. But the gay guyification fields manufactured or something.

There's something something about the Oscar season this year. It's not hitting in a way I wanted to Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, I'm like, where's the anatomy of a fall?

I even felt like Anora. I thought it was gonna be like everyone's talking about it all the time, and it like kind of came and went like people were like that was really good, and then that's the end.

I know. I wonder if they pushed her, pushed Mikey too soon and people have Mikey Madison fatigue by the time it's a time to vote for the Oscars. Yeah, but then you know who they really pushed too early? Demi Moore. Mm hmm. People barely remember that.

Did I say this on the podcast? Already one of my dumbest statements yet? If I did, if I think I've ha said this, but so sorry, Why is it Demi Levado? This is?

This is well, this is I remember when you said, why isn't it Julie Art since it's in art school?

Well, I would always forget is it Julliard or Juliar Jilliard or Juliart.

Once again, it's so frustrating that after three hours of talking on Zoom we can't just like have a drink.

It's actually quite tough being by coastal. This podcast so hard, and it's it's really weird because like when everyone record, it's always a bad time for one of us, like I am like, and it's hard to quantify, and it's even hard to like like when we're in New York. Yes, scheduling is annoying, and then we hang out and it's normal, and we can be like, well, now it's normal, and now we're scheduling all the time and never hanging out, and it's like, it's weird.

Yeah, I don't.

I feel like it creates. Yeah, it's it's frustrating.

It is a relationship literally no one would ever be able to understand unless they also had a similar, like professional experience like it is. It is one of the strangest experiences in the world to have a friend that you have to constantly schedule chats with to then release into a paywall. And then sometimes I will think of something and I'll be like save it for the pod. It's like that is so humiliating.

This morning, I woke up with glee that I was going to be able to tell you about the pulling dick out story. Yeah.

By the way, if you want to listen to the pulling pick out story about a subscribe to Patret.

That's true. Mama Malma.

All right, Well, well, I just want to say, first of all, I'm very grateful for you.

I'm very grateful for you as well.

And we are both so grateful to all our callers. Today. We're gonna I'm going we're gonna play a couple more calls after this as a little button because I think they're entertaining in fun calls that we didn't have time to answer. And thank you everyone for calling in. I'm sorry if we didn't get to your call. But I think we're going to try to start putting calls you know, here and there and in other episodes too.

And if you're in San Francisco, come to our sketch best show please January seventeenth.

Is that it seventeenth? Please tell your friends it's a Friday night, It's gonna be so much fun, or a Saturday night.

Or Friday, but it is a Weekenday night.

It's a. It's a Friday night. It's gonna be so much fun. I really want to get some good guests because you know so many of you are going to be in. That's me so fun. We can go need to act fast.

Yeah, I think it's also kind of a late show. Here's what I'm proposing. Oh Martinez on stage. Oh yeah, you've never done that before.

I know, we've never We're such little good at two shoes.

We really are. It's kind of weird.

I'm also feeling like twenty twenty five, we're gonna mix things up. I'm thinking I'm thinking new merch. I'm thinking new artwork for the pod. I'm thinking potentially even new segments. I'm thinking even like mixing up the live show in a way. I'm thinking we do little you know, impromptu games or something like that. I'm like, it's it's time to innovate.

I love it. I love it. Folks. Marry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy holidays.

All which is on Christmas Day this year.

Hey, so that.

Is called bipartisanship.

That is amazing. So no matter where you stand religiously, that day is gonna pop off. Oh yeah, and yeah.

I love this, like very slow ending that we're doing. Yeah, we just we keep talking slower and less focused for like ten minutes. I'm actually loving it, like I'm transitioning into not podcasting live.

Oh you're hearing it, you know what I mean?

Like I'm I'm now just chatting and I no longer have in my mind. I'm no longer like I hope this is coming off as entertaining.

Wow, Well that's how you know the podcast really be good.

What are you having for dinner?

I don't know. It's only two pm here, you know, I haven't even thought about it.

Yeah, I mean for going a lout.

I've only had a bagel so far.

A bagel in La Now, honey, let me tell you it was gross, but I bet it was bit but old habits die hard. Do you like a warm, wintry cocktail, like a hot like a hot toddy, or like a mould wine?

I can I can get into it.

I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna have that be part of my identity in the next two weeks. Well, yeah, big announcement, So look out, folks.

The way that I'm gonna pretend it's like zero degrees when I'm in New York, even though it's not like.

I'd been pretty cold, has it. Yeah, it's been cold this week. I was I actually bought new gloves, believe it or not.

Oh my god, I'm so excited. Fuck.

Okay, all right, well guess what. If you're listening to this on Patreon, thank you for subscribing. And if you're listening to this on the main feed, this is just the small peak of the kind of benefits you will get if you go to patreon dot com, slash straight or lab and subscribe. We're talking two extrapisodes a month, movie club call in shows literally monthly earnestness chickens where we just say the most personal and vulnerable things you can think of and charge money.

You know what this ending is? What it's so like? No, you hang up like we have something like neither of us were like resisting ending it in a funny way.

Because I'm also I have errands to do after this, and I really don't want to do them. Yeah, and there's nothing I can do to prevent mysel because I've already eaten. Normally I would be like, oh, perfect, I can eat now and then run my errands, but that would be lying to myself. Yeah, although I think I'm gonna make a smoothie.

Yum. Oh, I want to treat. Yeah, I get a treat. I want to go to aralone and get a twenty dollars to wait, I deserve.

That, Yeah you do.

Oh my god.

And I would even go further. I would say, get a smoothie, but then also get a little snack.

Oh my god. Wait, this sounds so good. Okay, done, I'm going.

Okay, done, all right. And by the way, this you know we're we know we're being this way.

Yeah, this is self aware, so you can't make.

Fun of This is not what most Patreon content is. We are focused. Then, we are literally discussing a film right now.

We just don't want to go do our days.

We just don't want to go do our days. And guess what. It's Sunday, December fifteenth.

And this is I'd like to see our last recording of the years, our.

Last recording of the By the way, I like to see what everyone else, what everyone else is doing right now at five pm month, Sunday, December fifteenth. Are you guys being super smart and super insightful? I don't think so.

I don't think so. If you're judging us right now, look in the mirror and judge yourself.

Literally look in the mirror, because I know what you've done and you will be punished.

Well, George, you're making them rock hard all over again.

Well, if that makes your card, then you met to listen to the previous page one episode because I have to say, I'm like, when you were telling that Penis story, I was like, I could see people being horny.

Yeah, I mean it was sexy. It was sexy and and weird, but but sexy. All right, Okay, okay.

A holidays, love you, bye bye.

Hey, Sam and George. I don't know if you're still using this voicemail box after the earnest of Bonanza, but I just saw Wicked yesterday and I thought of a straight shooter and I just felt the need to share it a hell to share it. So anyway, here it is the boy is Mine or the girl is Green. Okay, that's pretty much it. Love you guys, bye a Stradio lab.

This is some gay guy living in New Jersey driving a Volvo to pick up some dinner. I forget why you set up this phone line and what it was used.

For last time, but I liked talking to you.

That's pretty much it.

I hope you have a blessed day.

Bye.

Hello, so crazy. I'm calling because I just listened I have a very boring job right now, and so was sort of letting Spotify rip and it was playing the old episode in which Sam says, I'm sure that makes sense and I'm so beautiful, and then immediately afterwards says something so infinitely relatable, which is not really understanding exactly why a bullet would kill something. He's like, how does it go through and why would it? Why would it

I have this all the time.

I think this is like constantly sort of like no, but literally why. And one of my things that I often think about and feel almost freaked out that nobody else is thinking about, is like how a refrigerator works. I feel like nobody's ever thinking about how their refrigerator works. But it's one of the only things in our life that just makes things colder, and nobody's ever thinking about

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Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Created and hosted by George Severis and Sam Taggart.

Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sony and Olivia Aguilar, co produced by Bey Wang, edited and neered by Adam Avalos. Artwork by Michael Philes and Matt Grubb. Theme music by Ben Kling