"Boutique Hotels" w/ Cole Escola RE-RELEASE

Hoody.

Who everyone, It's me George. I have bad news and I have good news. Bad news is that there's no new episode this week because we are both traveling and working and of course celebrating Pride, which is a full time job with terrible benefits. And also some of us are getting married and there's just a lot.

Going on over at Straight or liab HQ.

But I promise we will be back next week with a whole new episode. We are quite literally recording two new episodes tomorrow in studio in New York with some really great guests, So I promise we will be back

So a lot can happen in a year. We are so.

Proud of Tony Award winner and two time Stradio Lab guests Cola Scola for all their success and Cole. If you're listening, please text us back. We really want you to connect us to Nicole Scherzinger. We think should be such a good guest on the podcast. I think we would have a lot to talk about. I think we have a lot in common, and so we are looking forward to your response. Enjoy the episode.

Bye.

Podcast starts now.

I already have a thought, which is I'm going to bring back Zippit.

You're bringing back zippit.

Yeah, you brought back me thinks, which I think, first of all worked one.

It swept the world by storm.

People think we might people might think we're joking if they were not up to date with our Instagram stories. Let's say, but literally a week after you said we're bringing back me things, none other than Taylor Swift posted meat Things methinks.

The methings movement was a huge success.

I do think the meathinks movement well, you know, now, with the benefit of hindsight, did it go too far?

Maybe it did get too big where it started as sort of a you know, alt community, and then it became so mainstream so fast that even I found myself being like, no, I don't even like me thinks.

You know.

The methinks movement started as people telling their stories, and they were necessary, but at some point you start thinking, do they just want attention?

Yeah, so you're gonna do that with zippit.

I'm gonna do that with zippit. By the way, I don't actually believe what I just said. That was a sort of harmless bit.

We play characters on it.

We play characters on this podcast. I'm a huge feminist and everyone knows that. I do think I'm gonna I think zip it is such a fun way to say shut up.

I mean it's so nineties. Yeah, and even like the bit, like the zip like, yes, playing with.

It so have a word that starts with a Z is so rare? So rarely am I saying getting rare? Logical?

Yes, Zelda, Well I said that a fair mountain my day.

Okay, Well, I'm not a gamer like you. You know.

I had a friend who had a launched a bottled cocktail company called Zuzu. I said, that is the best name for this is not a joke. Actually a very good friend of mine, and I was like, that is such a genius name because everyone wants to say more z's.

Everyone's craving more z's in their life. So I think zip it could be could be big. I think zip it could be huge. And I told you this last night. Yeah, but I'm actually loving the semi irony of exclaiming make it make sense.

Oh you love make it make sense?

I think make it makes sense is so funny. It's like just vintage enough where it's like some people still.

Say it for real and it's rooted in truth.

Sometimes you are like, make it make sense, but it's such.

A stupid Internet phrase. That is like saying it out in the wild as if it's normal. Is very like blurg core's ho true? Do you think does everyone understand blurg is shorthand.

Wait, hold on, you mean blurg as a metam is the right word.

Blurg is a.

Categor categorization of specific Internet language and and type of humor that's very sort of like on the spectrum of love these beautiful humans. Yeah, love these beautiful humans is one end and the other end is the interwebs, yes, exactly, and Blurg is in the middle.

Blurg is center.

To be clear, the entire spectrum is morally bankrupt.

Of course, but it's important to recognize that there are differences within the culture.

I sort of God, someone needs to write an essay about how.

I've been saying this for years. It's the it's it's my term that I coin half humor, which is when something gestures at being funny but is not actually funny.

Is blurgcore different than half humor?

No, it's I would say blurg interwebs and these beautiful humans are all part of like the initial wave of half humor, and I think currently half humor is like Joe Biden posting Dark Brandon memes. We do have to bring in our guests, but I want to I want to torture them even further by talking about something that I know they want to comment on while they're not.

Allowed to speak chastity play.

We were talking about how our guest and again they will say this themselves, but they were saying that they liked being part of a friend group of three. And MY response was that is the worst number for a friend group because inevitably someone gets left out. There are two best friends and one sort of like flop third.

I completely disagree.

Now, I think a three group of friends is like there's checks and balances there.

Well.

From a social justice perspective, undoubtedly it's the right choice, but I'm saying like in practice. Listen, it's like, how of course commune it would work, but show me where it works in practice.

I also like that, you know, it sort of has an engine churning to a three, like when someone's out and they're like, okay, well then I'll do something to get back in, and then and then and then they're like, okay, well now we need to catch up to this, and there's just sort of a they progress.

You're you're thinking as an improv comedian, and I think for you and potentially for me, like for us, a three way friend group would work because we all have a sense of play within us. I think the average person wants to be on top and the average person wants to win. And when the average person is in a group of three, they are looking.

Our guest is vigorously shaking their head. Yeah.

It is also not to state the obvious, very meta so to speak, that we are currently banning the third person in this friend group of speaking.

We know it's at the bottom right now.

Talking about the benefits slash drawbacks.

Of groups of three, Well, and this came up, I will say, because you know we were talking and saying, you know, we were are potentially going to do an episode with just the two of us, and we were like, neither of us seemed like like jumping at the at that and I felt like it was sort of like we were a couple that needed a third at all times or to be engaged with each other.

It is a crutch, I guess, but it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be. Maybe we don't even bring in our guests. Ever, I would celebrate it.

And just sort of do an episode just two of us. Now, why wait until the next session?

Why wait? I mean their time is flexible.

Yeah, they are freeing anything.

They're not promoting anything. This is a favorite of them, honestly. Yeah. What I don't even like them that much?

No, no, no, what else would we like to say that they would just would love to jump in on?

You know, what's the deal with Abraham Lincoln?

Say that?

I've always it's always a big question mark.

I pretty much get. Is he married? Okay, let's do it.

Our guest has steam coming out of their damn ears at this point. Please welcome cold the school.

Hi. Hi. First of all, half humor is the lifeblood of work.

Yes, half humor is very much like Icebreakers, corporate glatitude, latitudes, aphorisms, badass culture.

It's you are a Badass, like the book You Are a bad Ass? Have you seen that? In airport?

There's a book called I'm pretty sure it's called You are a Badass, and it's like a self help book with like a punchy humor.

H And Okay, that was one thing.

The other thing is in in groups of three, the pressure is off to be.

The pressure is off. I see you can say just two people and like it's silent. It's like I like, I like being like, you know.

What they've got this?

I like that actually, And do you feel that way in sex as well?

I do I feel that way in sex? Uh No, it's a threesomes feel confusing, you know, because maybe you don't want to way back. Well, well there's more sometimes you way back, but there's there's more, there's more space. If you're a little silent in a three way conversation for a bit and you're taking a sip of water, you're not thinking, wait, do they hate me? You're just thinking I'm taking a break.

Sometimes I'm not thinking they hate me, but sometimes I am thinking like they're boring. Oh, like I'm thinking like this conversation is not that good because I'm not okay during a conversation like.

Oh, during a conversation or during a three way during a conversation, okay, okay, yeah, well and that's fine because they've got it. They've got it, they've got it. You're like, Okay, they're having they're boring conversation. I don't have to engage.

Yeah, sometimes i'll do a performative yawn.

I'll just be like.

That's a key role that a friend can play.

But I think more people want to be cocks than they had cos yeap cocks.

Okay, Okay, I missed, I missed the start of this.

No you didn't, I didn't. That's pretty much pretty much it.

Okay, So do you think so you think there are more people than are willing to admit it that want to be cooked?

Yes? Yeah, I think you're of being like cheated on is actually a desire to be yes, cheated on?

You know.

And the last topic that I brought when I was on cheating Yeah, it is very straight.

I do think you're so right. Well, of course, every thank you, everything you next I'm speaking I of course, every big fear we have, including like nuclear war is a desire for that.

Sure, Well that's the whole thing. I hate when people are like, we're living in the end.

Time's talking about blurr humor end times. So okay ai and I but it's like.

Clearly you're just like a narcissist, like you kind of want it to end, Like I was there, Yeah, I actually was there when it ended.

Yeah, so my story matters.

Well, that's also it's everyone thinks to living in the worst possible time, and it's not because they have this like incredible capacity for emphitheyic critique. It's because they have literally main character syndrome and think they are living in the most.

Called drive for death.

Yes, death drive yes, yes, huh hmm, okay.

Right to have down right, that's really smart, thank you. I have a question regarding you brought up half humor in the workplace specifically, would you rather there be half humor or no humor? Because one thing this is interesting, one thing that's tough about a workplace is like get the utility of half humor? Well, absolutely, because you want to be able to like it's sort of like we're friendly.

How how like Europeans are like either complain or are are happy about how fake nice Americans are, like say, everyone asking how's your day, but they don't really care.

You know, my grandma used to do this is going to be a visual thing, so.

Okay, close your eyes everybody on YouTube if you're driving.

Episodes are full episodes available on our YouTube channel. My grandmother used to do this. This is her impression of an American and this. She used to do this when we were kids.

She would go, uh huh, she would like, nice to meet you. Yeah, she would like do a smile and then immediately retract the smile because it's so fake.

Yeah.

Yeah, wow Russian queen. Yeah, she was an impressions queen. She is actually still alive, so is.

It, but she lost her talent?

Yeah.

I feel like would you rather have have not?

Not?

That? The absence?

Well this is.

You know, some would argue yes, yes that you know, that's sort of a New York versus La question.

Oh would those people's name be Sam Dagger? Look I don't I wish I were.

Well, it's just like that is like, would you rather people be like overly polite but you don't know what they're thinking, or would overly kurt and but like honest. But yeah, and I prefer Kurt been honest.

I agree. And I also think like when I.

Think you do the Sandra like no, ow, that was so curt and honest. I feel like the Sandra Huler interview cycle where she's being like like cold and they're like, do you love MESSI the dog and she's like it's just a.

Dog, like yeah, I love that.

Actually, yeah, Well my favorite Birther is sore Huler world is how they people keep trying to make jokes about the fact that she plays a literal Nazi and zone of interest.

And she refuses to laugh along.

She's just like, that is not funny, and would.

You rather true it's not funny.

By the way, She's like wait, She's literally like, oh my god, I'm just not realizing it's talk about Blurg.

I guess I'm a Nazi now, So that's normal.

Make it, make say make it make sense, make it makes sense, make safe.

So here's my thing with half humor in the workplace is it is keeping people just well behaved enough that they don't like it's very I'm so sorry capital yeah, yes, it's like it's in fact Neil Liberal. Yes, because if because that is literally what like the difference is between soothing cube exactly, between cubicle culture and bouncy balls.

What sorry, what was so funny? Well, I'm not trying to make fun of you, but you said it weird, weird cubicle.

Yeah, what did I say?

You said, like, cubical cubacal, Like, it's very cub it's a more like cere.

You working at cubical. Oh, yes, that's not cubical cubicle. Yeah, it's I would fake fake half humor. Recently, I said to.

Someone, so I was talking about like going to high school in Greece, and I was like, yeah, but you know I lived here in my early childhood. That's so I don't have an accent. And they go, I think you have a slight accent. I was like, WHOA. First of all, that's that's for me to decide. Yeah, but I guess I said the word cubicle.

Yeah, I think that was it.

That was such a deep Greek accent that where we're all like, ask George George to say cubicle. Wait before I got distracted, Yes, who cares? Just about half humor in.

The humor in the workplace now, I'm worried that I'm not. I have to be the one to write this essay, and now that I've said it publicly, someone else is gonna write it. Gia Tolantino is going to step in and write the essay about half Humor.

Well, you know what, it'll be a good essay. Yeah, yeah, I can do it. Well, but but do you have but you can't do it?

Put your mind to it, right exactly, Yeah, Ga, puts pen to paper. That's just true that anyone else.

Okay, Well, I'm okay, I'm committing that in the next calendar year, I will publish my essay on half Humor. And I don't care if it's in Barry white is sub Stack. It's going to get published.

Wow.

Wow, that's right.

I'm gonna go right wings like no one else will publish you.

I don't know, so col Okay, let's let's cut the ship. The ship. So you have a show at Union Hall or something.

Yes, it's called Justice Gals.

And it's sort of like it's all like the like your funny friends, Like it's just like listening to your funny friends totally.

Yeah, and this is a spin off of your previous show. LGBT lol. Right, yeah, yeah, I love that show.

Thank you. That was a huge hit. Yeah, I mean it was a different time. It was.

It was a different time. I feel bad about like a lot of the stuff that we said, but.

Yeah, well the time I can't publicly talk about a lot of it because of a lot souit no exactly exactly, which is a blessing and a curse.

Yeah, monetarily a curse, but like public relations wise, a blessing.

I don't have a show at Union Hall. I'm sorry, So you either want to tell you we are like.

Some we're playing this weird game where we're like not saying your show. And also that's fine.

It's funny because we of course to us, it's obvious what the show is. But I realized that the not the whole point, part of the point of us talking is to.

Promote the show. Well, not that it needs it, not that it needs well, that's the thing. It is so load. It is sold out, but we just added one more week.

Oh well, this is going to make all the difference, because I heard that one that extra week actually is not so yeah.

That one the last week last week it sold up until that last week.

You thought you were like, you got really cocky and you were like, wow, it's sold out an extra week.

Yeah, but it's one week. Everyone that wanted tickets.

They got them, they got them.

They're good. Yeah, but yeah, it's.

Called Oh Mary, if we're gonna be honest for a.

Secon, if we can be honest, if we can cut the bullshit and.

Got the bullshit and be kurt and honest like New Yorkers rather than a Los Angeles sort of like talking yep, yep, yep without anything, thank you. And we've both seen it obviously. Of course, here's the thing. Here's my thing with the show. With with this show is like every superletive about it has been said, and I agree with all of them, and I'm like, what original thing can I.

Say that we'll add to it. Yeah, And also.

I know Cole can see through fake praise. It's like so so I'm like there's another layer where I'm like, Okay, I think the.

Best thing you could say is enough has been said about it.

Oh that's really smart and it's fine, and.

Enough's been said about it. It's good. No, no, but let's not no, but it is.

Actually it is one of those rare things that is in fact as good as everyone says it is. And then you're like, well, it sort of sucks that we used up all the superlatives to talk about.

Like salt burn.

Yeah, soup and salt super and salt burn.

Yeah.

No, it's an incredible show, absolutely groundbreaking.

Yeah it really, it just is.

You're one of the greatest we've got, and you know it, and you know it, and this is such a perfect encapsulation.

And taste and performance.

And you know, I say this as someone who goes a lot of theater coal and I go to very little. I'm always, I'm always this is a grandmother.

I get both.

And yeah, and I'll tell you something. A lot of it is not good theater.

Theaters.

Theater is a lot of gorgeous theater.

A lot of it is also good.

Yeah, but would you not agree that a lot of it is not I'm.

Trying to you're trying to rewards right now, Okay, so please campaign and campaigning.

You know, I gotta I can't burn any bridges.

Right. Here's a question for you.

So in this play, oh Mary, you play Mary Todd Lincoln. Yes, if let's say, suddenly you're cast in a Marvel movie as bat Girl. Yes, you have to leave the show. Who would you cast to play?

Oh I am. I am already like a thousand steps ahead, Like I can't wait for other people to play. Really, yes, I would prefer not. You don't want to say yeah to be No, I would prefer not to be.

Oh really yeah, that's that's shocking to me. No, No, it's exhausting.

Well, I mean it's fun.

It's the most fun I've round, Like hell, to be honest, I mean yeah, eight shows a week, shows a week, I mean is crazy. That's what theater people do.

You know, that's what we do.

Oh, we do, that's what we do.

I mean I have.

One podcast in a day and I say, oh, yeah, I can't do this anymore. I would love.

I've fantasized about Titus Burgess playing that is Mary Todd Lincoln, Donna Murphy. Oh my god, should be amazing. The two of them together sort of like every other word, you know, arms linked, like looking at each other instead of like I mean you say something, yeah.

Any but like I would love.

When I was in auditions for the understudy, I was like, oh, this is a good role for someone.

Oh, it absolutely is That's so shocking to me really, just because it was like, it's so you and it's so like, it's hard. Don't trust my writing. What are you trying to say here? No, it's it's hard to imagine. I'm sure it would be possible, but.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think this is something people have been surprised or not surprised by. But you know, you hear Cola Scola doing a let's say, I initially thought it was like a solo show, like the one person.

That's what I was hoping. Like, now I'm sort of like, I'm sad that the moment's over where everyone was like, oh, this is going to be Cole throwing on a wig on a stage alone, yes, and then the surprise of it being a capital.

Oh that was planned. The surprise of it like you well.

Yes, I mean I knew that's what people's expectators might be.

But I do think that is yeah, I mean that is the big surprise where we're like, oh, this is like full on a play.

Yeah yeah.

With the cast, the gorgeous actors. I wish I could tell you any of their names right now. Sweet people, sweet sweet people. They smile at me every day I just love them all. They respect all my boundaries, don't make icon tact.

I don't ask me how I'm doing. Yeah, that's and that's really not Have any of them been like James Scully or contra James. No, we haven't had them unkily, none of them. Nobody so funny.

Yeah, she's funny.

I saw her when I was eighteen, my first year in New York, my first Christmas alone in New York. I saw trans America and she that movie with she was in trans America. Yeah, do you remember she goes I don't even remember what it was, like a sex Way party or a Tupperware party.

She's like the hostess of that party.

And then I saw her on Taylor Max five hour The Lilies Revenge at Your Art Center.

I was like, she played a cuckoo clock and I was like, who is she?

Diva? Dibbs dibbs mine? Wow? I sorry to ask the most basic No, I have only base Please why Mary Todd? I just really feel like women like I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I really don't remember. Because I had the idea in two thousand and nine.

Really whoa And it was basically like.

An idea that was born out of just the humor of it, not using like a history buff no, no, no, no no, I just thought, like the idea of me playing a historical figure like that, yeah, was was fun. Yeah, And then all those years later we finally got to the Lortel.

Are you like, are you like super regimented right now? Like if you have to perform eight times a week, are you like.

I really don't do anything besides like, uh yeah, I mean like sleep and then go to the theater stretch stretch. I try to eat at four thirty. See after the show, I try to eat two yeah, yeah, yeah, but if I'm not up early enough, I only get the one meal.

It's a difficult life. Here's a ways I don't recommend it.

Do you feel are the endorphins such that after the shows I'd want to go out?

I know? No, No, I never want to go write home really yeah, right to bed, hot creamy meal, right to bed.

Hot creamy meal, all dairy meal, right to bed.

But I do need a life outside of it, because otherwise the play can't be my only reason for existing. So now I'm trying to find things to do. If you have any suggestions at home, comment below on this video and like it and subscribe and just send us email and vote and vote and vote, please vote, vote for living in your local city elections. They matter, y'all. Should we do it for a segment? Yeah?

Yeah, right, I think we have Yeah, yeah, if anything, yes, you please, please please, if anything, to get it out of the way that we can keep talking for you, of course.

Okay, Cole.

Our first segment is called straight Shooters, and in this segment, we're going.

To ask you a series of rapid fire questions.

It's basically this thing or this other thing you're familiarity with and complicity and straight culture. The only rule is you can't ask any followup questions or will scream at you.

Okay. That reminds me of a story I've heard about Shirley McLain. Later later, okay, So.

I love these beautiful humans or I hate that ugly ass tunic.

I love these beautiful humans, Cole.

Curling up with a good book or curling up with Succession Zone Sarah Snook curling up with a good book.

Tap water is Fine or FAP every day at nine, FAP every day at night after.

Your all dairy meal, yeah, okay, a body shaped like an hourglass or a potty molded perfect to your ass. Oh, body shaped like an hourglass?

O hmm, respectable?

Giving it up for your next comic, or living it up before we all get hit by a comic.

Giving it up for your next comic.

Yeah you have to, okay, white gold or black mold.

White gold.

I demand an appeal or I don't understand her whole deal.

I demand an appeal. Being on the list or lancing officist, lancing officeist.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have an idea what this is crazy? I'm like, you know, usually we rate our guest performance on a scale of zero to one thousand doves. Here's what I've been feeling recently.

What have you been feeling? Maybe that scale is over.

Maybe we need to figure out like a new way to rank I've been feeling. I think, don't you feel like we've been sort of like, okay, we've done every version of that answer.

I guess I like it. But you you see, this is what's great about But by the way, yeah, I just I can I'm engaged, yes, but I don't have to worry about having an answer right anyway? Keep okay, So you just like directed us. Now I feel like, now we can not keep going. Yeah, no, no, I'm watching and listening and just talk naturally.

You know, I did the number one thing you shouldn't do, which is critique, but not come up with an alternative. It's actually one of my elus life. I am not and I very much think.

Are you a younger sibling? I'm an older sibling. That's interesting, right, of course, just like most things about me. I feel like that's a younger sibling thing.

You think, so, yes, I feel like at some point in my life I was like criticizing. Criticism is a sign of intelligence, and the more you criticize, the more intelligent you are. Yeah, and so you know, you go into and I think it's a very childish.

Where in your body is that? Sorry, this is only my therapist asks all the time. And where in the body in your body do you feel that?

Like it's coming out of my head?

Right? What do you mean?

I always say my stomach, like my stomach.

Oh, it's all those creamy meals. Creamy meals both show. Yeah, I'm sorry I cut you. You were going you you were talking about renovating the scale.

Yes, right, Solutions book Alert renovating.

Red Scale Scale, My Life, My Weight Loss Journey, My Lost Journey on the Stage, Chapter one, Creamy Meals, Creamy Meals question Mark.

Yeah, well I just wanted for the scale. I do like that it is something that is truly from twenty twenty. Yeah, and is like that we have stuck with for seemingly no that sense. It gets funnier as it goes, and.

I think it's funny.

I think about literally being like four years from now and still doing that and people are like, what is that even care?

Yeah, yeah, you've won it over. You've already won meal over beautiful.

Wow? Wow? Could Georgie get cast in? Well it's not musical, Well we still need to know you have range.

I guess it is Musicalpol no spoilers, but.

That was a spoiler.

That was a huge spoiler. How do you feel You can't just say you no spoilers after you spoilers. That's not how it works.

Do you think of yourself as solutions oriented?

Yeah? I actually like that. Yeah me too. Yeah. No, no, no, I'm a complainer.

You're well, but you are a creator And I don't mean that in the sense of being an lgbt Q creator making their voice heard. I mean that in the sense that you do. You're not someone who's like, oh, they don't want me here, I'm gonna cry about it. You're like, they don't want me here.

I'm going to go I'm going to make a better I'm going to make it better. Yeah. I guess in that way, Yeah, I guess.

I I'm kind of like solutions bass no I am yeah, yeah.

I think. Well, okay, so that's sort of like fight flight or freeze, right, yeah, Like, oh, I had never heard of the phone.

You've never heard of freeze. I've heard fight a million times.

You need to get back in the.

Fight flight or freeze.

I love this. I might be freeze. I'm absolutely freeze. Freeze.

Oh God, to freeze identified gay cancers running a small business together, good good luck making proper.

I think a lot of people are are freeze.

I think freeze.

It just to me it makes the most sense because I'm like, well, I'm not gonna run away, but I'm also not going to start a fight.

But you don't know what to do. You're like, I can't fight back.

I'm putting my body on the line by doing nothing.

Yes, I will say to you know, if there's multiple freezes in a room, I think it's sort of you know, it's like you might both be bottoms, but eventually, when you're penetrating, someone's going to be topping.

Does this make sense? Yes, yes, yes, but if.

You aren't and I feel like if we're both freezes, there many times in our relationship where you have been the one that is ready to fight.

That's true in a good way. That's true.

And I've gotten to keep my freeze privilege. Freeze.

Wait, but I was this was related to yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, where like rather like there's complain, there's offer a solution, and then there's leave.

Right, I'm I'm more apt to leave. Oh interesting, I'm more apt to leave as well.

Yeah, complain for solution or leap. I'm complain. I'm sorry.

There's just no So if you're like you're you're waiting for a table for a really long time.

Oh yeah, I'm giving everyone dirty looks. I'm sighing dramatically, looking at my phone, sort of going over to people's table, knocking over all their food, calling them really offensive slurs.

Yes, yeah yeah, and then and you I'm sort of like, let's go. Yeah, yeah, or I'm like, it's like.

Like it's finely wait, it's not worth it. It's not worth it, And I, well, you're less, you're generally less like willing to wait wait for you prioritize comfort. I guess what I'm trying to say, Like youise comfort over like waiting for the exclusive thing. Would you say that? Yeah? I think that is true, whereas I'm like, let's say I really want to go. It's humiliating to wait.

Oh my god, I'm so sad, But you know what the reward is then getting the table and watching other people wait and feeling superior to them.

You bring up a very good that's from my stomach.

I also, I feel like the nice things are like rarely worth it, Like the pain of waiting.

And waiting pushed around And what was the last thing you waited for that you were glad that I was glad?

Hmm, god, I have no idea, to be completely honest, it's been a long time I had to wait in a line for anything.

What's the last thing you waited for it was worth it?

This is the most riveting segment. Let's yeah, let's really no one.

Has a thing they waited for. Yeah, I guess I just usually get things for free.

Yeah, olive oil gelato?

Is that true? I did wait for it.

I was happy they waited.

Did you really have to humble yourself to wait for something? You know?

I also see, you know, in Los Angeles, California.

Oh my god, to be able to be right back.

I feel that I see a lot of people waiting in line for random, random stuff. They sort of have like cronut culture all the time.

That's sort of all they have.

Yeah, And so I'm when I see some people waiting in line, I'm like, Okay, well that's what I don't want, Like, I'll never go to that place. It like almost looks more unappealing because it's like probably just some gimmick or was like written on some blog or something. You're not going to trick me.

Yeah, I'm like, I'm actually a free thinker. Yeah, yeah, that's no. You're right.

Well, there's two kinds of waiting, and one.

Is like there's only two, yes, male or female exactly, So what's male waiting? Male waiting? Oh god?

Okay, so I think one is what you're describing crow nut culture of like waiting for the latest trend.

Yourselfsculum.

But it's also like it's also like blogger, blonde blogger.

Sure, you know, big hat.

Big hat blonde blogger, waiting for the next trend. You are so trend chasing, you have no personality. Your entire life is chasing things that other people are doing. That's one second kind of waiting is that, if you know, you know, kind of waiting where you're in the know and you and you're part of this like exclusive you've read the paywalled blog that's telling you the new thing.

Yeah, yeah, well they're both the same thing, though you think so, and just one of them, one of them.

You think you're better than.

Right, that's it. That's not a bad point, you know. So I'll tell you which one I prefer to be in of course, but it's the same thing. We all just want to be at the at the front of the line, right, We all want to cut in line, don't we. We'll be right back and we're back.

And that was such a convincing we'll be right back. That was actually terrifying because.

It felt so real. Yeah. I actually was like, we need to throw to commercial. Yeah, that's so fun.

I could feel we don't even have headphones on, and I.

Was like, oh, yeah, anyway, how are you really hot? Creamy meals? When we return? Yeah, starts crying hyaterically. Yeah, they like, it's just been really hard.

Wait, I wanted to bring I have some topic.

Yes, yes, yes, topic, you are like in charge of us. Okay. It is like, so I was trying to think of straight things, like straight culture things rights like five cameras.

Oh it's a Samsung Galaxy.

It literally does have five, So them are flashes. I'm just like, that is too many.

You don't know what I'm up to. It looks like you don't know what i'mout.

You don't know what I'm up independent films.

There's there's a poll at JFK Airport that has truly like fourteen surveillance cameras on it, and it looks like a commentary on the surveillance state.

That's kind of what your phone is. Yeah, stop surveilling us. Well, uh, do you have anything else to say? You mentioned Taylor Swift earlier. Do you want to say you're okay? What are I was thinking? Well, I was thinking about straight culture things, but I could only really think of examples of of things that are like straight trying to be gay like straight things that are influenced by gay culture.

Okay, like hotels.

Yeah, based on cruising, but based on based on cruising, based on piet tears. Yes, it's like, well this is better because then you can just leave. And it's like, well that's the you took the fun out of a piano. Like right, it's straight people, you know. Okay, so hotels, salad bar, because salad's gay culture, but salad bar. The salad bar is like.

But you can pick what you want and you're like, you're not improving on.

You wouldn't I mean whatever? I go on, Ye, baby carrots, right, it's like, isn't it so funny that they're like little?

And you're like, oh, that's almost.

Like you've never experienced happiness.

Yeah, my favorite thing on earth is to buy baby carrots.

Never ever open the bag.

I'm like, oh, this is gonna be such a perfect snack with hummus, and then I just leave it there until they get slimy. Yeah, and then I'm moving seven years later and I'm like, oh, I have to throw these away now. Yeah, that's such a what.

Are people afraid of with just buying normal carrots?

I would really love to know. Is it the little hairs that they have?

It's the little hairs. It's sort of the like, well, what am I gonna do? Eat a whole carrot?

Yes?

Yeah, who has the time?

What if I just want to say, you want twenty five baby carrots?

Well, you can take as many as you want and you can put it back.

The big carrot. You got to chop it up. Oh my god.

I mean, there's nothing better than feeling chopping up a carrot and then putting the leftovers in a little ziploc bag. Something you feel like you're cooking. You feel like you're doing cottage core.

No.

The way that I want every single thing I eat to be pre cut.

Into this is like not being.

Well, I'm I hate doing dishes.

Yes, so I will buy a pre chop. Everyone hates doing that's so, yes exactly.

Wait wait wait wait sorry George, this is crazy. This is crazy because I've never been able to talk to this with anyone.

But I hate doing dishes so much that I I will buy the pre chopped done ho much Wow? And David Sidaris has this thing in a book like that like his husband Hugh will we'll make like himself a dinner like for one while he's alone, but he hates going through He would rather like use his finger than like dirty a spoon, you know, and I feel the same.

Well, we've I've gotten in some hot water before with our with our listeners because I talked about how I used the same cup.

For this was actually at a live show. I don't think you've ever thought, wait, what do you mean like I have a water glass, yes, and you keep it by the sink.

I just that it gasps from the audience because you said something, you said a phrase, an adjective that I will never forget.

What gas gets cloudy eventually cloudy. Yeah, but it's my glass and it's fine.

How many days do you think I'm not going to see I I I probably use the water glass, like two days. I'll go a little long ago. I'm probably use three water glasses a day. Why my immune system is so strong? And yeah, I use one glass.

Were you just in the hospital for the that's not from the immunity, that's not from an inaction?

Maybe out? Oh my god, I would love it if you've got to be the out and showed after the studio. That would be incredible.

But yeah, I literally like like especially when we were in our apartment here, and like I would go, I would like, never wash it, and then I would just like one day my cup would be missing and I'd be like, be shure, where the hell is my cup? And he'd be like, well, I washed it and then drying rag and I'd be like, I've been looking everywhere for it. He just surprise washes it. That's that's okay, that's okay.

My shock is like, wait, but it gets cloudy because it's smudged and like lip and fingerprints.

All whatever it and you know my nightly fiber.

Wait, this is the other thing that wait, you literally put fiber in it, mix it and then keeping water out of it without.

Reeah, water soluble, it gets it dissolves. You guys are being so messed up.

I'm an audience of three hundred and fifty people at the Mellhouse all walked out.

Well, George, it was in San Francisco. Yeah, yeah, so get your facts right because facts matter.

Well, I'm sorry for making you feel insecure again.

Although it actually feels like you've never been more proud of yourself. Well, I just you know, I know how the media is gonna run with this.

How how often do you do dishes?

Oh? Once a week?

Same when I'm like living alone, Yeah, I once a week, do them quite rarely.

Yeah, me too. Sometimes things really start to smell that in my sink.

Yeah, I'll also like, if I'm doing like takeout lifestyle, I like, I'm like, well, I didn't use a dish, it won't take out lesle.

But then but then you know, a little seriou a dessert.

Oh of course, I'm literally turning into like Trey's mom from Sex in the City. I'm about to send both of you to what is it called.

Manners Manners Academy?

Manners manner, Yeah, Manner's manner.

Okay, so we have baby carrots, we have hotels, and what was the third one? Old?

Please salad bar salad bar salad bar.

Okay to me, I would like to unpack hotels a little bit.

Yeah, okay, okay, because you're staying in one now actually that's true.

Oh my god, because I have a subletter now yeah, yeah, shout out to my beautiful subletters. And I'm staying in the pod Hotel Eliasburg. There's not a blind on one of the windows and it's like facing the street. This is not part of the point. I'm just sort of painting a picture. Okay, I'll see it. And it's also like the rooms like whatever. I'm just like people in the street are seeming naked anyway, who cares, who cares?

Whatever? Lower East Side nineteen seventy nine. Don't tell people where it is.

Oh well it's on Metropolitan and.

Okay, yeah, I guess. I mean, yeah, you won't be there anywhere. I'll be gone by the time this comes out. You'll be back. That's great. So you don't think hotels are I think they're I think they're straight inspired by gay.

I think the straightness comes from the like sanitization of them. Sure where it's like every room is the same, but there's convenient. It's convenience and you can come and then you can you can leave.

Well, make it easy, don't.

Offend, like everything's like this is technically a decoration, but it's not. You can cheat on your wife here exactly.

Well, it's based on gay because it's like a straight structure is a family home, a family suburban home, and then anything the farther away from that you get the gay or you get so a hotel. You are unmoored from your biological family. You are in fact not in your hometown. You are a visitor tran Insians.

And then also like concierge, like that's being like we need a gay guy to tell us where to go totally where's good to get Italian? A little queer where yeah, where should we're good to get Italian? He's like, oh my god, they have the best catch up down the street exactly. Oh, here's what you're going to want to do. You're going to want to go uptown by yourself. And then they like walk out the door and the duds like you hear the boy.

Like, we do not have that at our house back in Batesville.

Batesville a small town, nexic goon town had great girl.

So yes, and then I also think the thing that makes the tael straight is business conference culture kind of because uh, conferences and business trips are sort of like the the life cruising of straight. Yes, yeah, like there

That, and you have to present like your little ticket to go. We're talking lanyard, lanyard, We're talking lanyard, We're talking salad bar, We're talking baby carrots on dispaby carrots wow display.

Yeah, that type of environment, unfortunately, still speaks to me. So I'm sure I wish I could be.

I love hotel.

Look, I love hotels. You more than anyone, more than anyone.

I love hotel.

The amount you hate dishes is the amount you love.

I mean, of course, the dream is like not paying, Like if someone could pay for me to stay at a hotel, Yes, and I got room, serve everything for free. Yeah, you just you don't have to. You don't have any of the responsibilities of your normal life.

Yeah, do our boutique hotels LGBTQ plus.

I mean this is complicated because boutik hotels are sort of like anything that is kind of like gentrification adjacent. It's like it starts how gay and then it becomes straight. That's just for the circle of life. Yeah, it's like saying like our I don't know.

Boutique hotels were like gay people trying to pull it back, Yeah, exactly, and then straight people were like this is sorry. Yeah, They're like sorry you putting here? Yeah? Yeah. And also I'm secretly Mormon. Maybe not. Don't you think that is like a circle. It's like that you get gay gay gay gay gay, and then you go right back to mommy blogger. Yes, but aesthetically yeah, ooh, so what do you think the next hm mommy is mommy blogger the new aesthetic? I mean I sort of think are you

Finally, what are we going to be seeing? We're seeing We're singing mommyl baby carrot, baby vehicles, hybrid.

Vehicles, salad bar.

We're seeing tongs from the salad bar. We are cameras everywhere, everywhere.

Where.

It's commentary on surveillance, baby carrot, earrings, no clothes, walk, bitch walk and read this.

Kindle walk.

And a big make it makes sense in the sign that yeah, everyone.

In America makes sense again.

Everyone holding fake protest signs like in the Kendle commercial, but they all say different.

Internet slang terms.

If someone's holding a science says blur, someone holding a sign that says the interwebs.

Huh wow yeah hashtag me thinks.

I think someone uh painted in blood the methinks movements over on their bare chest.

Yeah, so what's something? Yeah?

What what's like what we're gonna see on the runway?

Well, like this, for example, what's so straight it's going to be attacking me? No, I'm not attacking you. I'm merely suggesting maybe it's time for you to be attacked that.

So, yeah, what's not what's to appropriate from straight people?

Yes, Corla is playing into Sam's camo.

You know what I think it is actually what old Navy core, Old Navy core.

Is going to be now gay. Yeah. So you mean ill fitting jeans and like pol do you remember that, yes, performance, old Navy performance.

And god the ninetieth Could you see the like little like a fourth of July T shirt that's like too small?

Hmm, Wait what do you mean fourth of July T shirt?

Like America Old Navy always would put out like a yearly fourth of July. Oh, I've never oh, I would wait every day on the third of July.

Just it was It's like when they announced the met Golf, I was like, what's this year's old? Maybe fourth of July? T O, my god, A little like plastic flip flop? Oh put that on the right babys, beanie babies.

I don't know what do you think straight people are going to or gave people are gonna.

Okay, no, this is actually a really good question. I mean, do you think it's been long enough flip flop wise that Havayana's are going to make an iron What the hell is that? The plastic rubber flip flops with the Brazilian flag on them?

You know?

Oh?

Sure, wait with the Brazilian flag. Yeah, that's the one with the X. And then yeah, wait is this not have I never heard of this? I'm showing everyone maybe in Greece, Yeah, maybe it didn't make it over here. Yeah, oh this is crazy.

Oh so amazing that we're different differently. But what I love that, George, is like talking with yourselves and then we got.

Completely these No, these mean nothing.

To you, They mean absolutely nothing to me.

They mean nothing to me.

Is I've never I've never seen that woman in my life.

I don't know her, and I don't claim to know her.

Well, maybe they were completely euro and now Americans are going to discover them warehouse men.

Are we going to start going there? I actually, I mean I think there's a world in which like sort of a nineties businessman's suit comes back.

I think that's already ready back.

I think, in fact, the issue is at some point it's going to go back to skinny pant and.

I, oh, are we? Are we going back?

Because trends are so quick. Now you know, you think you're safe.

You think you're safe The second I buy a pair of shoes their last season, toss them right in the garbage.

The moment I get home, remember how I legally blonde? It literally it hinged is on the gay guy being like, don't you you know, tap your last season produt shoes at me?

And then she's like, last season product, last season product. He's gay?

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a very my cousin Vinnie, Yeah yeah yeah. But they're queering that we've we've been through the Sopranos. Yeah, what's the show girls? Okay, here's something.

What if it is like guy news radio, gay guys growing out their hair and having big blowouts, growing out there yeah, like they literally have Christian woman at the blowout.

This is what's something that John really calls TV hair where it's like, yes, it goes down, then yeah, it's Deborah mess down and then like five curls in front and every woman on television has that hair. So maybe the issue maybe like next.

Year, are three of us going to be here with that? What if?

I don't know. I do think that is kind of the last friend here is more when we return, sorry, and we're back, and we're back, and more when we return because gay guys welcome back.

It's the only hairstyle gay guys haven't tried is long beach waves.

Long beachways.

Yeah, that could be something.

I don't think that could be. No, no, I can't, I can't follow.

Well, that's why it's so, that's why this is This is where innovation is born. Is you think, oh, I can't picture that at all, and then lo and behold all of a sudden, Oh crocs. I get it, it's ironic.

But they're like, I think it's just going to be too hard for the upkeep, the upkeep to commit to growing your hair out. I think you know, you know, the gay guy lifestyle so go, go, go, you.

Know, and they just want something that's easy, messy buns that we've we've already done done.

Wow, it's crazy that we can't think of a single thing that's going to be a new gay gay trend.

Somebody's got to think of one. Cole Well, my prediction. My prediction was sideburns.

Remember I said, the new facial hair trend.

It's the only one we have for a wig.

But yeah, I had. I had huge sideburns in high school.

Oh yeah, and blue black hair. Oh yeah, that must have been pretty. I was pretty out there.

I was willing to go there as a kid, you know, like I took those risks.

Do you find yourself slipping into that at as you're like doing promo for the show?

No?

No, no, only like that character and generally like the cliches of being interviewed, just being like, you know, I.

Knew I was fun because no one else would would know that I was kidding.

I see here amongst family.

Dare I say, and you don't want to take the risk of someone thinking or being earnest?

No? Absolutely, Wait, I just realized. I went to the Sistine Chapel a year ago. Okay, to pray more on that later, but it was I thought it was so ugly. Really, oh because they you know, they take they cleaned it in the nineties. Yeah. Oh, and the colors of its modern well no, it's like nineties Italian, like New Jersey Italian restaurant. Oh, because it's too right, it's so bright and.

Like and that's why I never watched my cup And this is why.

And I realized, like, oh, that's where that aesthetic came from from, like nineties Italian restaurants, because the Sistine Chapel had just been cleaned and it was like exciting, and so then everyone was like, let's do that in our restaurant.

Nineties Italian restaurants are based on the Sistine Chapel.

That makes sense to me. That makes sense.

It certainly is based on good morning, Wake Wake up America.

I hope you're listening. Take notes, take notes. Okay, wow, wow, this is what happens when you sleep. So when you go there and you're like, this is ugly, you know what did that feel like for you? Were you like, you know what, good because the church has enough as it is, or were you like, damn, I was really hoping to be moved today.

I was really hoping to be moved. And I'll be honest. My friend Claudia Odaugherty, who I was there with, fell asleep in the Steam Chapel.

I fell asleep in the Systeine Chapel. It was it was a long you just like tore you sit down, you can sit down, you can sit down. And it was this long hour's long tour.

It was so hot and we.

Were just like okay, okay, yes, all this stuff, all this stuff, we just want to see that damn roof you're ceiling, okay.

And we got there and it was so like warm, and you fell asleep and then you're like okay, yeah. Literally we had eaten like six hot creamy meals and just like full of cheese. It's like a marathon.

People were just handing you cups of warm warm.

Yeah. Well that's too bad. Yeah, it's okay. I just wanted to And it is tough. That is something up.

When you build something up and then you're disappointed by it.

You know. Any notes for the Sistine Chapel workers, keep it dirty. Stop scrubbing it, because they left a little patch dirty to show you, like, and this is what it looked like, and I was like, yes, the agent, it was the filter that it needed. Yeah, a Valencia filter, Yes it was. Which filter would I say it was? Oh my god, oh my god? Okay, I would say new York. Honestly, put the New York filter on this chapel. It'll really really be better. I know it sounds crazy, but it's time.

I've only lived here for three years, but I do actually feel like a New York like to get a ninety nine cents light. I'm like, okay, to be fair, she's right.

Yeah, I feel my family has never visited, and I don't ever want them to because when I see people with their families, like on the train or like walking around, it's painful. No, it makes me so angry actually, or it makes me it makes my heart hurt. Yeah, because the you're immediately a child when you're showing your parents the city and you're like, this.

Is my city, mom, look like we like, I just like eat here every day and it's really well.

Also, it makes you to show your surroundings to anyone really puts into focus how like uninteresting most daily lives are. It's like you're showing someone.

The coffee shop where you get your coffee. Yeah, like they have a really good cortado here. I like, and your mom's like, my niece, can I can I sit here? My knees backed an up, and.

They're like.

Like, mom, you know my friends never sit. Never sit. You don't sit in New York, Mama. I like my parents.

The first time they visited was like I was maybe twenty five or something, and I like, in retrospect, I'm so embarrassed by the places that I was like, you have to see.

This, yeah, because it was just like smack, It's like all macaroni and cheese restaurant and like being like, no, this bar is really cool. Yeah, and it's like why would they ever want a bar? They like dive. It just has the same feeling of like parents' weekend. I mean, there's a specific night I went to college, but I understand there there's still time. There's still there's still time I get that degree. Yeah, how would you cancel that?

Artistic shows there is of course, nothing more moving in terms of storylines than older women going back to Oh my god.

I mean this is not the same thing.

But Margot Martindale in Paris, tim you know, going on that trip to Paris by herself. Oh my god, I don't remember that one I have seen. She's an older woman. Well, she's a woman of a certain age. She's a male carrier at home, and she's started taking French classes late in life. And then she goes she's always wanted to go to Paris. I'm gonna cry, you know what, I.

George, I feel that an apology for what because when Cole says, you know, in whatever, I say, beautiful, but if you were to bring it up first, I would go, okay, okayens.

And that is like to me, it's such a sort of like almost embarrassing part of like it's like I.

Only know Margot Martindale's part. Yeah I've only seen that one clip.

Yeah, okay, I've only seen that one clip. I don't know it, like I'm not like watching it, like I've never watched.

Like is like, mommy blogger, I think it's that movie. Yeah, that's why I think it's Thatsia.

Town, which we don't like, but we do know, like John Galliano being like it was inspired by.

Margot Mark Yeah yeah, well yeah, so carrot.

Baby carrots, baby carrots or hotels or hotels. No, we're doing hotels.

We're doing hotels. Okay, so.

All right, we've covered conferences, we've covered cruising, we've covered home away from home, cat a tear.

We haven't cover the gay guy telling you where to go, the g guy telling you. Have covered the literal straight couple going to a hotel and instantly feeling like they're being sordid and kinky because they're not in their house.

Well, and then of course the disappointment that comes after that of wherever you go there you are wow looking around.

Wow, I guess we're actually not happy. By the way, can we talk about the Bible litter in every room? Yeah? Wait, why is that?

That's why they started bautique hotels so they could put in a different but they were like Sally Rooney, Yeah, the Bible is I always think it's sort of charming that there are these leftover like Bible in a hotel room. To me is very like leftover from a different era in a way that I do.

When men held the door men help, I think we're going to be seeing men holding the door open for you on the runway this season.

We're going to see men.

The door open around the corner. Clean Chapel ceilings clean, just guys being guys being guys, falling asleep in a stunning tourist destination.

Yeah, I think this is obvious. I feel the the thing that gay people are gonna appropriate is Bible chain hotel Hilton. I think boutique hotels as like a fantasy is dead. It's like we are post Instagram. This goes along with me.

Now, I'm like, if I'm ever on a red carpet, I'm gonna wear a dress made up. You know that credit card dress. Yes, Hilton honors.

Car also gig chic gay guys like that work in fashion. Getting married ironically in a Hilton, I mean, I mean like overhead lighting Hiltons.

There's something chic about that.

Yeah. Terrible carpet, Like the carpet is so old.

Yeah, what are those called?

The like the the buffet, like the hot hot bar, the hot bars like with those little torches.

Yeah, like chic gay guy wedding. And the food is a hot bar with like little sausage.

Links, sausage links.

Meal, it's breakfast, it's breakfast for dinner.

It's breakfast for dinner, hard scrambled eggs, sausage link.

Wedding wedding donuts meal with all the fixes, raisins, brown sugars, one serving fruit loops that you take off the little cover and but but instead of fruit loops, it's like the couples, like you know, like the little wedding rings Jared and and Emery or whatever their name is. And it's it's funny because it's like fruit loops. Yeah, it's that's hilarious. I'm laughing. They talk about blur it's bring your kids, bring your kids, which is yeah, that's bold, that's bold.

I think that we're going to be this season on the right, We're going to see.

Bringing kids fruit loops, but they're gay.

Yes, the name Emory, Yeah, the name Memory is everywhere.

Yeah, Hilton honors dirty carpet.

But I do think there's something to this because, like you know, we've talked about the how we're in the Martini and mush peas era, and I think the next step of like what is gross that we can just pretend isn't anymore.

It's that's because I tell food culture.

Yes, I that's definitely one direction for the modern man. I almost think we've now gone so far into like appropriating trashy stuff direction. That being a full on pretentious, little pinky finger up gay guy is gonna come back.

But I think with with a with a.

With an eye towards like like remember those commercial I keep seeing these on the algorithm, the like Vienna coffee, like the little powdered Do you know what I'm talking about? The little coffee that comes in like instant coffee.

No, wait, hold on, is this your version of whatever that sandal was? Oh my god, Oh I'm not you know, we're all.

Living in our social media bubbles. Yeah, I'm thinking like, uh, like stuff that was marketed as fancy that you know, like the you know what.

You know what's a great example of this is the cheese, like the you know those round red cheeses.

Baby Bill? Is that? Yeah? Yeah yeah?

Don't you feel like that was at some point market it is like fancy?

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, now we know. It's like Briars ice cream was very like like Bernadette Peters and the commercials, like I guess basically it's certification. It's sort of wasp Upper East Side wasp culture that you can get at the super you can get the supermarket. Yeah, sure, like v like what was that ice cream? Cake. Do you know what I mean? That had like ribbons. It was like ribbons of ice cream. God, now aging myself here,

I also think no more minimal minimalist flatware.

And uh, I see what you're saying. You're it's sort of capodim Swans.

Yes, it's this season on the Runway.

Swans, no flat no simp at the supermarket.

Capodian is one that's at the supermarket in your ice cream y yeah, or like the fancy like TV Dinners.

Was like you know, I know, like like that was like, uh, like that's what That's what we're going to see on the right.

I mean, it's them from a conservatism because it's literally like when America, you know, in the public imagination when America was great was mad Men era.

Well, but this is I'm even thinking of the nineties when those things.

Jealous.

That's sort of they've tried that so many times and it's not.

I love jello salad though, really love it it, love the taste. Is that true? Yes, it's just Jello and this one of your characters. It's Jello and cool whip. I have a disgusting sweet tooth.

Really, I love ambrosia salad.

Oh, this is on the run. We ambrosa fruit cocktail with uh cool whip basically whoa and and sometimes marshmallows and try a coconut. Some people would do like pistachio pudding packet, like the powder from the put putting packet. Mix it in. You know, it's always in pustachios. These foods are giving. You've got me there, they're giving Grandma.

I love Grandma.

Shout out to grandma. Yeah, well look, yeah, we've figured it out so pretty much.

Co Where can people buy tickets to your play? Well?

Oh Mary, ohmaryplay dot com for the last week. Yeah, May fifth through twelfth and May twelfth, must and must and May twelfth.

To be candid, this episode will come out when it's already sold out most likely.

Well, that's true, and that you don't know.

Okay, that's okay, that's okay.

But maybe there will be one ticket.

There will be one ticket left. D m us. No, please don't know just yet.

Me.

I can text call. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Text call, we'll figure it out. If you listen, to this podcasts. You can get it getting there for free.

Yeah, absolutely, and that's a stradio promise call.

Do you think theater is too expensive?

Yes, but say that, but it's also expensive to make.

Oh okay, all right, okay, well considered, I don't know how how they do it in London?

Then they don't pay people.

Well do they pay people in New York? They not?

From what I've heard, it depends on these damn unions.

Oh my god, don't get me started. The government help well, I do think Well, the government subsidize in in in more in Europe and was funded by the Trump administration.

Correct are we talking about that?

Because like, from what I remember, it was a government.

Why is it wrong?

Like it's not and you said you wanted to change it from the ins what I understand?

Yeah? Like how's that?

Like? Like she's willing to listen. She gave you a lot of notes on the early versions of the show.

Yeah, she did. It was she has a great eye. She has a great eye. She's like she doesn't no matter what your politics are.

Funny yeah, funny. People forget that about Ivanka. She's funny.

She'll always she's like burg like between every scene she's like blurg and like, okay, yes.

Yeah, I did notice the blurg in your play, and I thought it felt it fell out of place, but it also felt that that was a Yeah.

The rest of it had a very specific tone I recognize as quintessentially cool.

Then there was that big monologue that so I guess I'm an adult.

Yeah, there was a sort of you kept saying, should I get bangs?

That was the punch that was okay, maybe that's a premise.

Yeah, I mean, I'll never forget when Abe got shot in your play and you make it make it makes sense, it makes sense.

Yeah, and then yeah, and then you're like, all right, well the moment's landed. Next scene starts, you go, So I guess that happened, I said, I said, okay, like some of this could have.

Been very long, but it gets laughs every look the audience doesn't. Isn't wrong.

Oh look, I wish it were uh much much cheaper to see theater. But I didn't understand the economics of like if a show costs something and there are only so many seats. Well, of course I didn't realize, like.

No, for the issue is not yes, The issue is that none of it is subsidized by the government like in other countries. It's not that like people are evil and want to rob you blind, right, although I do.

You know, this is my first ten million that I'm making from this.

Right right, congrats on that, by the Yeah yeah, yeah, Well.

Off Broadway is where you go to like cash cash in, Like I've worked hard, you put in the time, I've put in the time. I'm ready for that summer house. I'm ready for like like first class tickets, and like.

Knowing that about yourself is like a huge part.

It's a huge part of Off Broadway.

Because like a lot of people like just don't even have the like they're like afraid of that success absolutely, and you're just like running towards those people go to Broadway.

So sad.

Yeah, I feel bad for them.

I do too. Losers. Who's the biggest loser on Broadway? Yeah, who's the biggest loser on Probably audiences? Tim Tim Tim Tim gun is the biggest loser on broad Oh my god, yeah, like so wrong as roxy, Like just yeah, the name on everybody's design, the name on everybody's lips is gonna be rock. It's really okay this season on the runway. We're seeing Tim gun Tim, We're walking this season on the runway. We're seeing Tim Gunn walking as roxy. I'm

Maybe this is my oh Mary, oh Tim Tim. That would actually be sort of a good idea. Tim Gunn, you know, everyone loves him, America's most beloved sort of father figure. But then there's so much happening behind the scenes.

Are we where's that phantom thread? Yeah? Exactly.

You know, I have to say about Tim Gunn to be serious for a second. With all these gay guys that sort of transcended and became, you know, almost like symbols from Middle America, he really has it, more so than any of the queer eye guys. More like, I really do have a deep respect for Tim Gunn.

Do you do You not? No? I think you're right. You like, there's something actually very dignified about him.

Well, he has a he knows when to pull away, yes.

And he's also you can tell he's actually he knows when to pull.

Out, which is before you he.

Doesn't you heard it here first. This worries me.

After he comes.

This is my impression of Tim Gun after he comes this worries more your grandma. Yeah. This season on the Runway, pulling Out, we're gonna see pulling Out. We're going to see Tim Gun is a Roxy. We're going to see Tim Gunhilton Honors.

Okay, Oh, Mary is a huge no no, this is a no no no, it's not. It's not it's not barely a one person show, oh Mary. Okay, Tom Broadway for twenty five years. At this point, you're long, you know, you're you're living in Malibu whatever. If they've started stunt casting it like Roxy, who is your ideal like like reality star, trashy star stunt cast for I don't watch, but but you know it can be back.

I understand it can be like.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Rachel Ray, that was the first thing that came to mind.

Wouldn't she perfect like a rasping boys Abram, you know, wow, Rachel Ray, that would be so amazing. She would do it in those curls. Yeah. Did you see her episode of the Curse. Yeah, the Curse, she's literally she plays herself in a very no no before Yeah, no, I think it is. This season on the Runway, we're seeing Rachel Ray and Rachel Ray as herself on the HBO's The Curse Showtime. Showtime, Yeah, Showtime.

Sorry, excuse me, sorry, It's okay, it's Showtime back.

I don't know. I don't know if any of them about its Showtime back? Yeah, are any of them? I'm talking to the exacts right, Oh? Sorry, I think Showtime's definitely back. I would love to work with them. Oh, we would love to work with Showtime of course. However, only if they're back. Only if they're back. I want we go into pitch. We're like, I want you to prove that you're back before you hear this pitch. Are you guys back?

Because I'm not saying the numbers don't really speak for themselves.

Tim Gunn and Rachel Ray Green like that should have been what it was. It should have been, Tim Gunn and Rachel you actually are so right in the sense that it should have been a loud like party girl, loud party girl, raspy voice, and then like an a guy with trauma. Yeah, like Tim Gunn is who the character of Will is? You know what I mean?

But then you know NBC got involved and said, well, let's not make a two let's make him a lawyer. Yeah, exactly, designer Rachel Ray.

Now, Rachel, what exactly is this? Well, Tim, it's a jealous sald I mean the pilot writes a yeah, last, what do you mean extra virgin? Yeah?

Tim is like, honey, I'm an extra virgin. Wait no, and I'm becoming Samantha.

Should we do our final segment? Wait? Call any last thoughts on hotels or baby carrots salad bar I just I really appreciate you filling out why hotels are straight. I appreciate it because.

I came in with an idea and I didn't know.

I just didn't hold water. Yeah.

Yeah, that's so hard.

It's really hard, and we put our guests through hell, but we do it for you. Thank you, thank you.

So you can promote that last week of Oh Mary of Oh Mary ohmaryplay dot com.

I just checked zero tickets for that week. Zero. Well, there's student rush or not student rush, just rush rush.

We took a student out because anyone can rush.

Any anyone can rush, not just students, not just This is what I tell people all the time.

It's like you never stop learning and you never stop rushing.

Yeah, exactly, exactly we're always on our phones, so true, Rachel. Okay, well will you introduce it.

Our final segment is called Shoutouts, and in this segment we pay homage to the classic straight tradition of the radio shout out. Think Z one hundred. You're shouting out to your squad back home, thank TRL and you know it's in the great tradition of this podcast we think of them on the spot. So I'm trying to think of mine now I have one.

Okay, oh, okay, what's up freak losers and perverts around the globe? I want to give a huge shut up to Hotel TV. I love the lack of choice and a Hotel TV offers me. I think there's too much choice in the.

World, and sometimes you just want something to be like watch this because you have to you.

That's talk about the only way I'll find something randomly and without having it perfectly curated to my likes and wants. Last night, I, for the first time in my entire life, watched an episode.

Of King of Queens.

I would never seek the show out, no matter how much Robbie Hoffman says it's good.

I don't care.

And I watched one episode and I said, yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna watch more, but I enjoyed this twenty minutes. And sometimes that's all you need when you are traveling.

So Hotel TV.

You make me feel like it's the nine these You make me feel like I'm being tied down and forced to watch something I don't necessarily want to, and you make me feel free through that restriction.

That's beautiful. How was King of Queen's really good? Really?

Well?

It was fine, right, I mean it was like Lea REMONI I guess right, well, yeah, sort of the best you can hope for. I was friends with. I was pretty good. Yes, she is, she is, but you're close. Oh you didn't know that.

They're like like, oh yeah, I know, they're like the thing.

It's kind of like them.

Isn't there one more that's like in the group?

Who is it? Yes? But I don't remember. I was good.

Say it's like Michelle, Michelle, Yes?

Is that true? Yes?

Yes, yes, yes, But it's like how Madonna and Debbie Mays are are really close friends meaning no meaning no no, no no meaning yeah they're huge lesbian.

Oh no, they're not saphic saffic in it. So they are aren't.

They're not saffic. No, she has a hot Italian husband, Debbie does. And Madonna. You know, she's working through.

A lot of issues, but she's doing great on and we support her, and.

We support her. I would die supporting her. Okay, y'all yeah, I can't.

Okay, Okay, I'm gonna do mine. I've actually already mentioned this on a Patroon episode. But you know what this, I'm gonna unpay Wallet for this episode exclusively. What's up frequent travelers, any Delta sky Mild members, Hilton Rewards. You're gonna want to hear this. If you're ever on Adelta flight, I have the plane movie for you. It's called She Came to Me, and it is starring Marissa to May as a tug boat captain with a sex addiction. I repeat,

Like?

Is it ironic?

Nope, tug boat captain. I repeat, tugboat captain with a sex addiction. And if you think it stops there, you better believe. It also stars Anne Hathaway as a therapist who wants to be a nun, and one of her patients is Chris Gethered. Now this movie came out, I would say last year. Not a single soul has talked about it. Written and directed by Rebeca Miller, Arthur Miller's daughter. I am telling you, get on a plane, now, book a flight, impress play on.

She came to me.

The message of the film is love wins. And by the end I was moved. Shout out everyone involved.

Wow they only let you watch it on a plane.

Yes, I don't. I haven't seen it available anywhere else. I think the Millerists Arthur Miller estate has a special contract with the Delta Airlines where his daughter makes movies for the Delta plus a platform.

Actually wow, yeah, well that's huge. Yes, nothing I said is a line. I'll watch it on the Delta flight back to Alert.

I think it's crazy that that movie exists, as I just describe it, and like it hasn't become like a meme.

I mean, but there's so much. It's actually so sad because you know that like that's.

What they were almost hoping for.

Yeah, or maybe they weren't. No, I don't think they were. Yeah, when they should have, because then it would have gotten been bigger you know, yes, they needed a gay guy. They needed a concierge. Oh is he a concierge, baby boy? Gay, baby boy. Yeah. He recommended a few restaurants to me.

Let's just say, let's just say he got us a reservation.

So he recommended the Fennel Cell. Okay, I think, okay, what's up, moms and dads. It's your girl here who sets her alarm clock for six am? And I'm would like to shout out Dove chocolate. Dove chocolate a little treat. It's it's a little more expensive then you're gonna but then you're hershey Bar. But when you want to treat yourself, go for Dove chocolate.

Wow.

Wow?

Is that the one that has little inspirational like little quotes?

Yeah? Do you feel it helps you in your day to day life.

To be well?

When I was a kid, that was one of those things that I thought was fancy when I was like, because it's not, because it's not Hershey's. And also the commercials worked so well. The commercials were very like the woman like rewarding herself, like.

Yeah, you know, yeah, no, that makes sense. The way that women eat chocolate and media is it's I feel.

Like I'm missing out.

It's done harm for generations. Yeah yeah, it's literally why we will never have a woman president.

Yeah.

Yeah, like.

She could only come. She has a little cube of chocolate in her mouth. And it's just because this.

Season on the Runway a woman with a little cube of chocolate, And it's just because straight men want to see women come totally, and they're just like, what if the chocolate did it for her? Because she likes to take so much. Yeah, she's such a bitch all day and then she puts that little square chocolate in her mouth and she just fucking calmbs like, yeah, how about that.

I feel like it's almost like the opposite where it's women being like, well, he's not gonna make me come, so I need something to make me.

Yeah. So is it a female empowerment or disempowerment? Yeah?

Is this question more? When we return?

Yeah, all right, and we'll see you next time, see you next time after the break that could be many years.

All right, Well, thanks for doing the pod. Please, thank you for promoting the last week of Oh Mary playing.

Yeah so go on omarpay dot com and Rachel Ray get in Touch girl.

Yeah bye podcast and now want more, subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month, discord access, and more by heading to patreon dot com.

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