Hey Story Pirates podcast listeners, Lee here. Today we celebrate the most popular and most well-known holiday of the year. I'm talking about referee day. You never heard of referee day? okay i haven't heard of it either but it says right here that it's popular and well known so i guess it two brand new stories written by kids, of course. Grownups, did you know that ads only come
a small portion of what it costs to make this show. It's true. So if you'd like to help us keep making it, please consider supporting Story Pirates. by becoming a Creator Club member. There are so many perks, including the ad-free version of the show. And premium members get to participate in a quarterly video meetup with Lee and Peter, where we write a brand new story together for the podcast. But most of all, Creator Club members help us support the cost of the show.
so we can keep bringing it to you every week. If you're already a Creator Club member, thank you so, so much. And if you'd like to join, you can do so by visiting storypirates.com slash Creator Club. or by subscribing Write and Apple Podcasts for the bonus episodes and ad-free feed. Two brand new stories and an extremely popular holiday that everyone knows about. Coming up, right after a few words for the grown-ups. Ah, beautiful day. relax and
Do you want a buff and a polish today? Or just a buff? Just a buff. Thank you, Megan. Anybody else want a pedicure? Wow it is so just to hang out and rest. It's rare that we have Tell me about it. Usually I only have time for two naps, but today I'm gonna take three. Sounds like a perfect day, baby with a mustache. It's so nice to be able to just turn off my brain. In fact, I'm gonna do it right now. It was already off. Hola, mis amigos. I'm... here! Okay! I'm... ready?
For... My surprise! What surprise? Hehehe, is this pie? surprise. You pretend there's no surprise and then I say, hey, Surprise! And then you all say, Surpri- Smitty, this might be just because I've recently discovered my brain's been off for going on 23 years, but... What are you talking about? Wow. I guess you all just really don't... No. That today is Oh, that's really interesting. But what does that have to do with you? Don't you remember?
Err, what? In my first episode, back in season one, I- I told you all I'm a referee by trade. It's canon. Hold on, everyone. I'm Smitty, an old referee who lives in the bowels of this ship. Can't remember a time I wasn't on this here ship. He's telling the truth. Smitty, I'm sorry we forgot your origins. but I guess I still got my hopes up. a little love, a little respect on National Referee Day. Honestly, I didn't even know there was a National Referee Day. There is, and it's a pretty
No worries. Just another bummer day in the life of grumpy old... See you all around! the bowels of the ship where I live. Oh no, I feel horrible. Me too. Should I offer him a pedicure? I think we need to throw him a surprise party. Nimini's right. We need to show him the respect he deserves on his special day. His birthday. Peter, no. Oh boy. I gotta figure out how to turn this brain back on. What is happening?
I'm very different from everybody. Infusion is the step before curiosity. Okay, that's a really funny idea. All the things in my story. Human beings are just able to create The Sony Pirates! Welcome back. podcast, everyone! Where we take stories written by kids. And turn them into sketch comedy. And also sometimes we
Sit down and betray our closest friends and we will never ever forgive ourselves. Oh, baby with a mustache, you don't have to worry. We're gonna make this right. I sure hope so. Smitty is my best. in the world and I'll do whatever it takes to make this right and I'll never give up until my bedtime I had no idea you two were so close. Yeah, we've hung out a few times. Wow, then we'd better get moving, but first...
Let's do a story. And here to introduce it is the author. Hi, my name is Betty. I'm 10 years old and I'm from the UK. And this is my story, My Dad's Season. Hope you enjoy. Everybody, come on! Breakfast is on the table! Coming! Come on, Scotty! I heard you! Gah! Dad! What? Dad! Quit mowing the lawn! Breakfast is ready! Oh boy! I'll be right there! Julie, this looks wonderful. Thanks, Mom. I don't hate it. Scotty, you're supposed to wait for everyone to be seated. It's my big debut.
Hey now, Julie. This looks great. Honey, you're all covered in grass clippings. What's my cool new look? Well, everyone, as you know, it's my dream to be a chef. So I'm very excited to announce that I was accepted to the French Academy Summer Wonderful. We're so proud of you, Julie. Thanks. I wanted to celebrate with this elegant brunch. And I for one would like to make a toast and to julie who has worked so deliciously hard to to
Honey? Dad, is everything alright? Sorry, I must have gotten some dust or pollen around the yard and my nose and I... Oh no! TAKE PO- My dad is about to sneeze. Scotty, Julie, you know the drill. I'll stay here and take care of the house. But brunch. No time, Scotty. You know what dad sneezes are capable of. And we've got to warn everyone. Everyone. What? Honey, look at me. We're gonna get through this. We've gotta hurry!
All right, block party, settle down. It's time for the big raffle, so get your tickets out. And not mine! I'll be picking the winning ticket out of this hat. Now, before I read it, remember, the winning ticket won't have to pay HOA fees for the rest of their lives. Just read it already. Okay. The winning ticket is zero, five, seven. Wait! Oh, Scotty! And Julie! Oh, hey, how's the application to the French Academy? What is the last number? Say it already! I hate to interrupt.
But you all have to get out of here. What are you talking about? We're in the middle of a block party. My dad is about to sneeze! Doesn't anyone want to hear the last number? No time! Everybody run! Come on, Scotty! We've gotta go warn everyone else! Let's go! And so it is my privilege as your elected council member to officially cut the ribbon on this new children's hospital for the elderly.
Okay, I'll cut the ribbon on the counter. Wait! Oh, what gives? Some of us have rashes that need looking at. That is a bad rash. Uh, hello, young man, and... Julie! I was just thinking about you and your application to the French Academy. No time! Everyone has to take cover. Whoa, whoa, okay, I'm sure there's no need to panic. My dad is about to... Everybody panic!
Time for your rash. Everyone inside. Scotty, come on. We've got one more stop to make. Where? A live televised state celebration with the new governor. Let's go. And once I push this... It will set off this impossibly intricate Rube Goldberg device that will conclude with the reveal of the new state flag. This took days. And pushing the button now and there goes the ping-pong ball down the ramp
It's the 150 dominoes delicately placed by my friend Debra. WAIT! Oh, I knew we shouldn't have set this up right in front of the door! We didn't even get to the bowling ball! Governor! Julie, you are really interrupting this important moment, but, uh, hey, did you hear about the French? There's no time, Governor! Come on, now. What is so important that you just had to interrupt me? My dad is about to...
Your dad is about to sneeze? So what? Governor, you're new here. You don't understand some things about my dad. They are loud and powerful and sometimes you'll get like 20 in a row for no reason for any dad You can hear it throughout the entire house sometimes even from the next-door neighbor's house But for our dad, even just with one, there are going to be high winds, moisture, and possible damage to property!
You know what? Thank you for warning us. Can we get someone to come up and set up the 150 dominoes again? It's my mom! Mom! Tell everyone to take cover! Your dad is about to... That wasn't so bad. Wait a minute, what is that? TAKE COVER! IT'S MY DAD'S SNEEZE! Is everyone okay? I'm disgustingly covered in snot. But I am okay. Ugh, me too. Is it over? Ah, sorry. Guess I'll have to have Julie mow the lawn from now on. Though that may be tough. While she's in the friendship.
Julie! That's wonderful! Well, congratulations! Oh, hold on. There's a delivery. Oh, wow. Flowers for Julie. The note says, congratulations on getting into the French Academy. love grandma and they smell incredible oh no dad don't you're allergic Take cover, my dad is about to sing! The end! And now, Lee speaks with the author.
So Betty, you wrote my dad's sneezes. I did, yes. So how did you come up with the idea for your story? So my dad actually sneezes that loud. Like my brothers go hide under the table when I like cover my ears. Can you describe what the sound is like? It's like just a really, really loud noise, and sometimes we think it's literally just going to blow the roof off. How much warning is there? Like, how can you tell when a sneeze is coming?
It'll just be like, ha, ha, ha, and then I'll just be like, everybody, come here in! A lot of people will say something when somebody has sneezed like, bless you, or gesundheit, or do you say anything like that in your family? I don't know, because I'll sometimes be like, God, blimey, that was a loud sneeze. that's amazing i'm gonna start saying blimey every time someone sneezes yeah
Have you ever had like a friend over or a relative who didn't know what your dad sneezes are like? So I had my friend over this one time and my dad sneezed. And she like covered her ears and she was like, why is it so loud? How did your dad respond to that? He'll just be like... Wow you guys, it's just my sneezes.
You just have to deal with it. That's my thing. Sneezing is my thing. I guess that's one of the things about being in a family is that everyone has like a thing that the rest of the family is just going to have to deal with. Yeah, like my thing is probably drawing on my hands. Uh-huh. And people are like, Betty, why are you doing that? Yeah, it's just the force is happening.
And I actually think that's a really good example by your dad of saying like, this is who I am and I accept it and I own it and all the rest of you should too and not apologize for it. Yeah. And how does he feel about the fact that you wrote a story about his sneezes and it's going to be on the Story Pirates podcast? He was like, oh my gosh, did that story actually get in? And I'm like, yeah. I'm gonna be famous!
Betty, thank you so much for letting us perform your story. And thank you to your dad for inspiring your story with his incredible sneezes. Thanks for picking my story to be on the story podcast. You're so welcome. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. I will. Thanks. Bye. Bye, Betty. Oh, I love the story! Enough about the story, everyone! The only thing we should be ad-libbing our excitement about is... Many!
So come on, we need to get to work if we're going to plan him an amazing surprise party for referee day. We divide and conquer. so everyone can stay organized. Wow, Nimini, when did you have time to do all this? While we were talking about how much we love the story, so shall we? We need to find a venue.
Somewhere to host a big party with lots of people. Well, what about that mini golf course on the second level of the ship? Great idea! Smitty thinks mini golf is sort of fun, and for Smitty, that means he loves it. Peter, the spreadsheet says you're our venue guy. Order. Calling them now.
Mini-golf on the second floor of the Story Pirate ship. How can I help you? Hi, this is Peter. I'm looking to plan a surprise party for my friend Smitty. Is your party room available? Our party room? Of course not. It's National Referee Day. Right, of course Well, what if we- I can't talk! We have a hundred reservations walking in right now! One at a time, please! Uh-oh. It was bu-
I didn't know referee day was such a big deal. Or that so many people lived on the ship. No time to be concerned about this. We have to keep going. trying to plan a party. Maybe you can call around to some of the... caterers on the ship. On it. Paulus Pizza Paulus in the deep basement of the story pirate ship. What can I do you for? Hi, can I order 15 pizzas for a big party? Today? Are you kidding me? Not a chance. It's National Referee Day. All our pizzas have been claimed months in advance.
Alright, I'll just call a few more places. Clunky Rick's Chicken Eatery! Do you have any... No! Are you kidding? It's National Referee! Thanks for calling Lydia's Lattice Wrap! I was hoping to- We are unable to answer the phone right now because we- in observance of the holiday. We wish you a very happy National Referee Day, and we hope to see you for some lettuce wraps after the long weekend. Hmm, what other restaurants are there? Oh, I've always been meaning to try breads.
and stinky food. What do you want? Do you have any food available? I can't believe I'm saying... No, all our bad food is gone. We're catering a big referee party. A bunch of friends are surprising their friend who's a referee. It's really sweet of them. They booked us three years ago. Bye. Well, maybe we can get him a gift at the Story Pirates gift shop. I'll give them a call.
Hello, this is the Story Pirates gift shop. Rolo speaking. How can I help you? Oh, hi Rolo. We're looking for a gift for Smitty. Do you have anything there you think you'd like? No. Because Schmitty's grumpy and doesn't like anything? No, because we don't have a single thing on our shelves. All our items went to various referees. Even that clump of Rachel's hair we've been trying to sell for years got gifted. Whoa, how much did it sell for?
Oh no! I just realized I gave away all of the items for free! I have to go! Huh, seems like everywhere is totally wiped out. Well, that's okay. We tried. Baby with a mustache, you are taking this very well. I'm kidding! I am pa- and I am not. We'll be right back after New Words for the Grown-Ups.
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This is horrible! Smitty deserves the best surprise party of his dreams for National Referee Day because he is the best! Remember when he invited us all to his place in the ship's sub-sub-basement to listen to his favorite music? Three hours! And remember when Smitty made us all toast with nothing on it? Oh, yeah. It's his favorite food. And I'll never forget when I was feeling down because I ate the last of my special snacks and Smitty came over and just sat quietly with me.
for six full days. And last year for my birthday, he got me a rock that he saw on the ground and thought looked like And who can forget Smitty's favorite thing to say? fun just sitting around and reminiscing about our favorite Smitty stories. Wait a minute! Are y'all thinking what I'm thinking? Yes! That cloud kind of looks like a backwards frog. No! What? Rachel, were you listening to any- I was thinking maybe we've been going about this all wrong. Smitty doesn't need some big wild party.
people he just wants to be with his friends us you're right and we don't impress him with a big venue and tons of foods and gifts. We just have to show him that we love him and that we've been paying attention to the things he does and likes and says. Smitty? Have you been there the whole time? Yes, I never left. the entire conversation. Oh, it was beautiful. What a wonderful
Should we get some toast and listen to drum solos and sit around and do nothing together? No thanks. Overhearing that conversation was enough. this beautiful day, everyone. Adios! Happy National Referee! Well, that was nice Should we do another story? And here to introduce it is the author. My name is Azaria. I'm nine years old and I live in New Jersey. And this is my story floating here. Todd, are you almost ready? You don't want to miss the bus on your first day of school.
Todd, honey, what did you do to your hair? I got a new haircut with my allowance yesterday. Well, I love it. A cool haircut for an even cooler kid. Thanks, Mom. I gotta go. It's time for my online Pilates class. I'm so close to doing my first swan dive. Have a great day, sweetie. Here I go. Off to crush my very first day of sixth grade. What was that? I'm the floating hair! Here to haunt you with bad hair day! What? How? With my miss?
Who cares if I have a bad hair day? If you have a bad hair day, then no one will Nuh-uh. That's not true. Do you remember what happened last year when you took your school picture? The cowlick. Everyone laughed at you when they got their yearbooks. Leave me alone. I gotta get to the bus. Got away from that creeping floating hair ghost and to the bus on time. Well, hey there, Todd. Hey, Mr. Williams. Come on aboard.
Thanks. Yo, Todd. Nice hair, dude. Whoa. I just got a compliment from the coolest kid in school. Come sit with us. We have an empty seat. Okay, sure. So what's up? How was your summer? It was really good. I grew like three inches. Sick. You should think about joining the soccer team this year. No! No? No, no, I mean, I would love to try out for the team. You can never make the team.
Dude, who are you talking to? Are you shushing me? No, no, sorry, not you. Don't you remember trying to play soccer as a third grader? You scored on your own team, school, and everyone laughed at you. Leave me alone. Whoa, whatever, dude. I just wanted to be your friend. Oh, thanks, but I don't know if I can make it to tryouts. Here we are at school. I gotta get to my locker. Hey, wait up! school year students we hope you have a great first
Okay. Creepy floating hair ghost is gone. Found my locker. Got my book. Hair still looks great. Ready for class and I'm feeling good. Hey, Todd. Katie. Hey. Nice haircut. Thanks. You too. Oh. My hair actually got longer. Oh, right. Yeah. Well, it looks really great, though. Hey, what's your first class? I hope we have the same schedule. Do you have history with Miss Kelly? Okay. I mean, I do! I was kidding. Oh, okay. Do you really think that
Katie would want to have the same schedule as you? She doesn't actually like you. How do you know? How do I know what? Nothing. I'll see you in class, okay? Remember when you sent her that Valentine in second grade? She didn't even know. Go away! Bye, Taz. I mean, I gotta get to class. Bye! Oh, I made it. Hey, Todd, over here. I saved you a seat. Stevie, what would I do without my best friend? Cool haircut, by the way. Oh, yeah, it's...
Fine. Good morning, class, and welcome to American history. My name is Miss Kelly, and I'm looking forward to a great year full of knowledge And fun. Please open up your books to page seven to start our lesson. Who could read the first paragraph for me? How about you, Todd? You've got to be kidding me! Excuse me, Todd? Is there a problem? No, ma'am. Uh, page seven. Here I go. You really think you can read all those big words in front of the entire class? You're gonna mess up
to laugh at you, just like that one time in the fourth grade! I- Todd! Where are you going? I'll go check on him, Miss Kelly. Thank you, Stevie. Hey, Todd. Stevie? You remembered my secret bench spot on the playground? Obviously. You're my best friend. I don't know why you would want a best friend like me. What's going on?
I was feeling so good about myself. I was ready for the school year and got this cool new haircut. But then, never mind. You're never going to believe me. Try me. All day, I've been haunted by the float. It's like this weird ghost thing that keeps following me around and reminds me of every embarrassing moment of my past. How can anyone like me when I've done so many embarrassing things?
Are you kidding? You're the coolest best person I know. And not because of your hair, which still looks awesome, by the way. Thanks. The hair gel holds well. But because of who you are on the inside. And how much fun we have together. Wow, thanks Stevie. So what do you think I should do? You need to get rid of this ghost thing once and for all. But how? I think I have an idea. Isn't your uncle the worst barber in town? Yeah, so what? Hey, there's my favorite nephew and his best friend Todd.
Uncle Jerry welcome to the worst barbershop in town boy. I love to see those negative yelp reviews now What can I do for you two gentlemen today you here for a terrible haircut? No We need you to do someone's hair. Who's hair? Oh, no, I just realized I'm the only person that can see the floating hair Oh, you mean the floating hair laughing maniacally in the middle of the room? You can see it?
Kid, I was the most insecure person in the world. Every haircut I gave was horrific. No matter what I did, every customer's hair looked worse than the last. I even had a few visits from the floating hair myself. It told me I would never amount to anything. But I faced my insecurities head on and embraced them. And now look at me. I'm the worst barber in...
Turns out, there's a real market for that! Wow! You're awesome, Uncle Jerry! I know! Now come here, floating hair! Nooooo! Don't get in the chair! Just sit still! You better sit still! And voila! This might be my worst work yet! No! in the floor now. Oh, it's over. Thanks, Uncle Jim. Don't mention it, kid. Hey, anyone else want a haircut? No! I mean, uh... The end! Fair enough. And now it's time for Story Pirates Roll Call! First off from 10-year-old Vivian in Canada, we have Hal here.
And much like the floating hair story in today's episode, this story has personified hair. In this case, hair that is looking for a home. And this story is chock full of incredible dialogue. So I think that you should look up this story on the Story Pirates website so that you can read it like a play with your friends or family. There are some great lines such as this one. This is Crazy Sauce, a gorgeous lock of primary.
like me can't find a happy head to live on let alone an armpit where can a beautiful handlebar lock of hair like me find her forever home I also really like this Hey, nice face hair thing that adds styling character to your face! That's something that a random stranger shouts out to the mustache man when he finally gets his mustache. Vivian, you're an incredible rider. Thank you for sending this Next from nine-year-old Joseph in Florida, we have the penny boomer.
spent and first of all this story is ripped from the headlines because I'm that they are taking pennies out of circulation. Is that correct? There aren't going to be any pennies left, and so all the pennies are going to be desperate to be spent, the ones that are left. But Joseph takes it even further by having a whistle. and a wizard's brother in this story and a come alive potion And a copper factory.
eventually the penny eats the wizard's brother. There are innumerable adventures in this story. Joseph, thank you for sending it in, my friend. And finally, from Cecily, a seven-year-old in Connecticut, we have a story called Why Number never end. I love stories that explain things about the world that are mysterious, such as why numbers never end. And Cecily gives us the answer. Here it is. And Once there was a girl in
She was the number holder. She made up all the numbers and she wrote them down in her number journal. Her number journal had a lot of pay so she could write all the numbers. wanted to go to outer space so she rented a spaceship and flew into outer space but too far and went through a wormhole she dropped her journal and she took some pages with her so that's why numbers never end because she took a lot of the pages with her but maybe in the future we will find her and know all the numbers.
incredible story, Cecily. I love wormholes. What a perfect explanation. To read all of today's Roll Call stories, just head to storypirates.com. And now it's time for you to write us a story. And if you don't know where to start, here's an idea. Take a picture of something normal and everyday, and then make up a story about what you imagine could be happening in the picture. Kind of like this from the author of Floating Hair. So Azaria, can you describe your picture for me? Squishy Animal Toy?
And what's your idea for what could be happening in the picture? So there's a meerkat squishy in the middle and I was thinking that like maybe that could be like the odd one out because like he's missing his body. And he has to like adventure to get his other side of his body to not be bullied. you see listeners sometimes writing a story is about finding an image that inspires you grown-ups can submit at storypirates.com and remember, we respond to every single story.
That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening and a big thanks to today's authors, Betty and Azaria. We'll be back next week with another episode. Until then, stay creative and stay calm. A production of Story Pirates Studios. Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. This episode was produced by Sam Bear, McKenna Cox, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, and Lee Overtree. Recording sound by Sam Bear. by Eric Gerson.
Contributing writers are McKenna Cox, Peter McNerney, Megan O'Neill, and Leo Ritchard. Production coordinator This episode features Eric Austin. Barbado, Ben Blackman, Sasha died. Hammond, Sherry Lane. mcnerney claire newman megan o'neill lee armitry peter Hey, Peter! Hey, Lee! You know, that story about the dad sneezes reminded me that you actually have really intense sneezes as well. Oh, well, they're not that intense. Uh, yes, they are.
No, they're not. My sneezes are normal. That's not how I remember them. For once, you're wrong, Lee. And I'll prove it. I'll make myself sneeze and everyone will hear how normal my sneezes are. Alright, fine. Here, I happen to have in my pocket the one thing that always makes you sneeze, Peter. A picture of the queen playing tennis. What? Why do you have that in your pa- Look at it! Her backhand form is excellent! Here comes the sneeze! You! See? Totally normal.