Have you ever gone on a date and been worried about saying or doing the wrong thing? I was recently working with a client who asked the question, “what if I do the wrong thing, or do something embarrassing, and he was supposed to be my person?” That coaching call inspired this episode where we take a look at how we define right and wrong, and how that affects our ability to create the result of finding our person. I share with you some examples of things from my own dating history of right versu...
Mar 15, 2021•37 min•Ep. 106
With the rise in self-improvement in our culture, and particularly on social media, I have seen a lot of content around this idea of positivity, and the idea that we have to always be positive in order to achieve the life that we want. But I want to call that out! Guess what? Positivity isn’t always the answer, and that’s especially true when we’re heartbroken and looking to heal. We can serve our hearts so much more when we honestly take a look at our thoughts, love ourselves, then begin the wo...
Mar 08, 2021•45 min•Ep. 105
We all have those moments, those vivid memories from relationships with our exes that make us question ourselves. On a recent group coaching call that I offered to students of my course, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better , a client shared one of the times this happened to her and asked the question, “Why does he think I’m a monster?” In this episode, we explore the stories we create for ourselves, based on how we feel our partners think about us. I share some examples from my own dat...
Mar 01, 2021•44 min•Ep. 104
I want to take you through a recent coaching call I had with a client. She kept believing this story that her unavailable ex was everything that she wanted, and that all the qualities she had on paper for her ideal person, her ex checked every box. My loves, I know so many of you also hold on to this same thought. Let’s take a look at what is on your list of what you want your ideal person to have, get clear on why those are things on your list, and why your ex doesn’t actually fit on that piece...
Feb 22, 2021•30 min•Ep. 103
Ten years ago today, I was experiencing rock bottom. I was underweight, didn’t really have a place to call home, and I was right in the middle of my worst breakup, and I still had dinner with him. All I wanted was for him to make me feel better. Ten years ago today, I didn’t have the tools that I have now in order to make myself feel better, love the fuck out of myself, and call in my ideal person. But now I do, and I want to share them with you. I want to share with you the 11 truths that have ...
Feb 15, 2021•48 min•Ep. 102
This episode was inspired by an episode from a podcast I love, Date/Able, hosted by Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu. In this episode, they were reviewing bad advice from dating coaches, and one of the pieces of bad advice is when coaches give their clients the advice of, “You deserve better”. I’m happy to say that I am on the same page as these hilarious and brilliant women, and I want to dive a little deeper into this thought of, “I deserve better”. There are times when this can possibly be a helpfu...
Feb 08, 2021•27 min•Ep. 101
First things first, let’s celebrate 100 episodes! Before I started this podcast, I said to my business coach that I wasn’t sure if I could come up with a lot of topics around heartbreak. But here we are, 100 episodes later! Along the way, I have helped so many with healing their relationships with themselves, taught you how to call in the love of your life, and how to live your whole life to its fullest potential. We’re really diving deep into what thought work looks like; what are the right tho...
Feb 01, 2021•28 min•Ep. 100
Have you been listening to this podcast for a while, been doing the work on cleaning up your thoughts and you still haven’t found Mr. or Ms. Right? I’m sharing a few of the thoughts that clients and listeners have shared with me that have revealed why they still haven’t found their person. Remember, your thoughts create your results. It is your thinking that has lead you to the result of not finding him or her yet. And that also means that when you identify what it is that’s holding you back, an...
Jan 25, 2021•33 min•Ep. 99
This episode is inspired by one of my amazing clients. When she came to me, she was heartbroken over a douchebag, and now, after we’ve worked together and she has put in a lot of work, she still finds herself missing her ex, as is the case with a lot of heartbroken women. In this episode, I share with you why missing your ex isn’t actually a problem, how to identify when it is a problem, and questions to ask yourself and reflect on in order to move through it. There is so much information in thi...
Jan 18, 2021•38 min•Ep. 98
How many times have you been swiping on the apps, or gone on a first date and thought, “oh my god, this is my person”? I hear that so often from clients and have even felt that in my dating life in the past! The truth is, you’re “all in” to the idea of your person, and it’s not bad to be in your feels and into the idea of this person. However, it can put added pressure on a situation and won’t help you find Mr. or Ms. Right. In this episode, I share examples from clients, possible outcomes of th...
Jan 11, 2021•39 min•Ep. 97
It is a new year, and we should be excited! It’s a fresh, clean slate, and I love the energy that comes forth with everyone wanting to show up differently and create new goals. If you’ve been listening for a while, you’ll know that I am all about being the real deal. And if you want to really get a fresh start and create new results, it all has to start with your ugly truth. In this episode, I share with you how to identify your ugly truth, my experiences with my ugly truths, and how to then tur...
Jan 04, 2021•30 min•Ep. 96
Let’s talk about letting go, which is one of the most crucial steps in how to stop wanting Mr. or Ms. Wrong back, and to find someone better, and is an excellent topic to cover and wrap up an insane year. Even if I have discussed this topic before, what I’m going to share today is going to be up-leveled, because I have up-leveled, personally and as a coach through self-coaching and working with my coaches. I know it’s not easy, my loves, to move through the pain, and I also know that the only wa...
Dec 28, 2020•41 min•Ep. 95
This is an emotional episode for me. I think it’s important for me to share with you, by leading by example, that the work is never done. I’m in the most amazing relationship with the love of my life, and I just released an amazing course, helping women fall in love with themselves and call in Mr. Right. But somewhere along the way, as I worked morning, noon, and night, seven days a week, for the lats four months, I abandoned myself, my self-coaching, and my self-love. In this episode, I share w...
Dec 14, 2020•43 min•Ep. 93
We have an epic episode for you today, a “clients tell-all” episode featuring three of my clients, April, Heather, and Ina. These three women are at different stages of their dating lives and came to me at different stages. I really wanted to share with you a variety of stories and experiences, so that you could hear from them first-hand the kind of work we have done together, and how it could be helpful for you to work with me as a coach to move through your heartbreak. My course, Stop Wanting ...
Nov 30, 2020•57 min•Ep. 91
This week I am excited to bring another guest on the show. If you listened to the last episode, you may be anticipating a conversation with the other woman who was involved in my rock bottom relationship. However, due to legal reasons, she has decided to not come on the show. When you move through trauma and share that experience with another person, there’s nothing like that to bond you with them, so I completely understand her reasons for not coming on the show. With that being said, I still w...
Nov 23, 2020•59 min•Ep. 90
If you have listened to this podcast for a while, you have definitely heard me say that how you are in one area of your life is how you are in all areas of your life. I hear from listeners and clients all the time that their lives our great, it’s just the dating part of their lives where they need some help. In this episode, I share examples from a couple clients and how I helped them unpack other parts of their lives, such as their relationships and careers, and showed them the sneaky self-beli...
Nov 16, 2020•26 min•Ep. 89
Something my clients struggle with is the balance between having an open mind and knowing when they should say no to dating someone. In this episode, I talk about loving your “no” and not just being ok with, but owning what you do and don’t like in your dating life and with a partner. If you are someone who has a lot of nos and restrictions, then this isn’t the episode for you. But maybe you’ve found yourself in a similar situation as a client of mine, dating someone who you don’t actually like,...
Nov 09, 2020•29 min•Ep. 88
Have you ever thought to yourself, “I always get my heartbroken”? That happened with a client recently who sent me her thought work using one of the thought models I use with my clients. Your thoughts create your results. Having this thought of always getting your heartbroken will ensure that you do in fact, get your heart broken. In this episode, I walk you through how to examine this thought and unpack it, so that you can see where it’s not true. And from there, how you can shift your thoughts...
Nov 02, 2020•44 min•Ep. 87
I recently created a poll on my Instagram account, (be sure to follow me, @clairetheheartbreakcoach ) and in the poll, I asked whether or not you should talk about your ex on a first date. The majority of people said no, you shouldn’t talk about your ex on a first date, and I could not disagree more! Talking about your dating history, and learning about the other person’s, can be really helpful for understanding where each of you is, and what you’re looking for. You should have nothing to hide, ...
Oct 26, 2020•30 min•Ep. 86
I have some amazing clients. They are all in on getting their hearts healed, falling in love with themselves, and calling in Mr. or Ms. Right. I was recently working with one client who was so committed to finding her person that she invested $3,000 in a matchmaker. Then she turned around and she found her guy on a dating app! In this episode, I share with you how she was able to find her person, and that it doesn’t matter where you find them. What matters are your thoughts. And if you’re so com...
Oct 19, 2020•52 min•Ep. 85
I was recently watching the HBO documentary series called The Vow, and I found it fascinating because some of the principles used are ones I use in my coaching and on myself. In the documentary, something that really stuck with me was when someone said, “The mind can heal the body, but the body never forgets”, and that’s what I want to share with you today. We have all been through traumas and heartbreak. Even in relationships, traumas from previous exes may still come up. In this episode, I sha...
Oct 12, 2020•55 min•Ep. 84
I am back for another conversation with my bestie Jamie McKeown, an incredible health and wellness coach. She has previously been on the podcast before to talk about what to eat on a broken heart and to answer your listener questions. In this episode, we talk about cutting off contact with your exes, which I think it’s safe to say, Jamie and I don’t agree on. She shares why she holds onto friendships with people she has previously dated, and I point out why I coach my clients on ending those fri...
Oct 05, 2020•51 min•Ep. 83
“I’m over being single.” This is something I have heard again and again from clients that are looking to date and are trying to call in Mr. or Ms. Right. Let’s dive into some of the bad reasons to date and find out why they aren’t serving you. Stop giving your energy to what isn’t working. It’s all about your thoughts which create your results. Do the thought work, love your singledom, and love the fuck out of yourself. If you truly believe your ideal person is out there, you will be able to dat...
Sep 28, 2020•30 min•Ep. 82
“He rejected me.” This is something I have heard clients say to me before, and is a story we so often believe about our situations as though they are a fact. However, the situation is neutral, and rejection is just a thought you have. In this episode, I dive into ways in which you may be rejecting yourself, putting this into the thought model, and how to create space for Mr. or Ms. Right to enter. I hope this episode helps you know that you are not someone who is rejected. You are loved uncondit...
Sep 21, 2020•39 min•Ep. 81
This episode is inspired by the work that I have been doing with a client recently. She was dating this guy and said that she was falling in love with him, but also recognized that he wasn’t emotionally available and showing up for her in ways that were very important. When I asked her why she was falling in love, it really boiled down to the fact that he was doing small gestures for her. Ladies. A sweet gesture is not enough of a reason to be in love with someone who is not showing up for you e...
Aug 31, 2020•31 min•Ep. 78
In this episode, I want to discuss vulnerability and the vulnerability in your dating life. This topic was inspired by some of my clients, and coaching them to realize that getting what you desire, getting to that ideal relationship, requires us to be vulnerable. We have to lean into the suck, lean into the pain, and know that what’s on the other side, and being in our ideal relationship with Mr. or Ms. Right is worth it. In this episode, I share with you some personal experiences with vulnerabi...
Aug 03, 2020•39 min•Ep. 74
I received a message from a listener of the podcast, and she said that listening to this podcast inspired her to leave a partner who was not treating her well. She’s been really picking up what I’ve been putting down about how our thoughts create our results. She was nursing the wounds of someone else not treating her well, and so when she entered into a new relationship, she had fears that he would fuck her over. She thought that those thoughts created him to not treat her well. And that isn’t ...
Jul 20, 2020•32 min•Ep. 72
Validating who we are from the people we love is normal, and it's okay. We need to allow ourselves that sense of relief, regardless if that relationship will work or if the guy will show interest in you or not. It stings, but the only guarantee that you have is to show up as yourself. Be aware, be committed to check yourselves and the facts, and not judge your brain if it gets too excited. For example, let's say you go on a first date and the guy calls you and you get excited. This is the fun pa...
Jun 22, 2020•43 min•Ep. 68
Welcome to a very special episode, Heartbreak for Black Lives. I am bringing on one of my nearest and dearest friends, Aisha Kabia. We met 11 years ago when I moved to LA. She embraced me with open arms, and it was the beginning of one of the most treasured and beautiful friendships that I have in my life. We’ve had many conversations over the years about so many different topics, but the one thing we’ve never really talked about is what it’s like to be a black woman in the United States. I want...
Jun 08, 2020•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 66
A conversation with my bestie, and sex coach, Danielle Savory provides more light to what women are unaware of: their sexual pleasure. We discussed why pleasure is important. What's keeping us from focusing on ourselves is whatever we're keeping in our minds. This mind-body-connection is vital to how we deal with ourselves and our relationships. When you have the thought that you're not good enough, it becomes the fuel to feelings of being ashamed or unwanted. When you're thinking a thought, thi...
Apr 13, 2020•48 min•Ep. 58
