Stepping Off Now is a podcast about how to live your creative best life. I’m Kendra, a social scientist and writer. I spent decades feeling creatively unfulfilled while I pursued conventional life goals, culminating in severe burnout that took years to recover from. This podcast chronicles my journey in real time as I find my way home to my essential creative self. I discuss topics like harnessing the intuitive creative process, using creativity to manage mental health, and sorting through all the external pressures and expectations to figure out what YOU really want. My hope is that you’ll find inspiration and solace here. You are not alone, and you are stronger and wiser than you know! You can find out more by visiting my website, kendrapatterson.com.
In the creative life you must learn to be your own biggest fan: that's what's required to come through the myriad challenges you will face along the way. In this episode I discuss why it matters so much that you become your own biggest fan as a creative or artist, and what that looks like.
You've probably heard it before, this admonition to trust the process. It's one of those things that's easy to say, but difficult to grasp. What is "the process," and how do we operationalize the concept of trusting it? In this episode I talk about process in a way you may not have heard before, and offer a suggestion for how to trust the process that will make you feel like you have a more active role in your path forward as a creative. I also discuss a recent experience I had of creative failu...
In this episode I'm experimenting with something new: I've devised an exercise to help you figure out how to enjoy the process of reaching goals, not just the idea of reaching them. This exercise has a twofold purpose: to help you find more fulfillment and happiness in your day-to-day lives, and to help you develop internal motivation that is strong enough to keep you working toward goals past that initial burst of enthusiasm. This exercise is one I've done myself in various ways over the years ...
Summer is a special time, and it calls for some special activities. In this episode I discuss why and how this summer is one of transition for me in terms of my identity and my creative activities! I also issue a challenge to any who are interested in taking it up, one I myself am participating in. Finally, I discuss a brand new project I'm taking on, one that is purely for pleasure. Let's sink into summer and make this one about taking it easy and having fun!
Our societal systems, including the public school system, are built to counteract subversive forces such as (too much) intellectual curiosity and creativity. We are socialized in ways of thinking and acting that run directly counter to the way creativity works. How can we begin to heal from the damage our formalized systems of learning do to our creative potential? By understanding that damage, and learning to sit with the paradoxes inherent in living within systems while seeking to transcend th...
How much time should you take to rest and digest, recover from stress, and adjust to loss? As much time as you need.
As I process the passing of my cat, Lucy, I contemplate why we so often fail to make the changes we need to in life: because change inevitably comes with loss. But change can also be used as a method of healing. Join me in this exploration of change, grief, and moving forward.
A little about my cat Lucy, who has reached the end of her life.
I used to think the creative life was only for "real" creatives or artists, the lucky few who are able to spend most of their day doing creative work and are probably also making a living from their art. But that's wrong. The creative life is available for anyone who wants it regardless of how much time you spend doing your creative work, and it is certainly not dependent on outside recognition of said work. There are a few simple things you can do to live the creative life, and I tell you about...
Have you ever felt like you're living at a distance from your own life, not really immersed in it in a way that feels fulfilling or joyful? The problem could be rooted in our misleading cultural ideas around seeking balance. What we see as finding balance in life is often merely a way of shuffling things around on our already overloaded plates. In this episode I talk about why I gave up on trying to have a balanced life and what I do instead. I also give you some tips on how I manage life withou...
In this episode I tell you what writing my novel, The Gentle History, has looked like. I am an intuitive discovery writer, which means that I rarely sit down with any kind of detailed idea of what I'm going to be writing that day. Whatever comes out when I'm in a flow state is unplanned and spontaneous, and may only loosely connect with my overarching idea of the novel, at least in early drafts. I get to know my characters and story as I go along, refining my ideas in each subsequent draft. This...
Pete is the Author of The Art of Shouting Quietly (2015) and A Quiet Person's Guide to Life+Work (due May 2022). His latest book is aimed at those who are quiet themselves or who know quiet people, love them, and/or work with or manage them. He identifies as Quiet person, here to support others that identify as quiet. He is an advocate for Quiet inclusion and runs workshops to bring quiet people and those who lead/manage them into alignment. He is a tutor for Barefoot Coaching Ltd – one of the U...
I get meta in this episode by sharing about my creative practice of writing an ebook about creative practice. I credit my creative practice with everything good in my life, from my recovery from burnout, to finally finding my arena and my people, to finishing a novel, to my mental health management. I want to help other people develop their own life-affirming, fulfilling creative practice that helps them do good work, finish projects, and gives them a sense of purpose in life. I'm doing this epi...
In this wide-ranging conversation, artist and fellow PhD Sophia van Hees and I parse the difference between terms such as introversion, shy, socially anxious, reserved, sensitive, and quiet, and discuss our experiences growing up as shy, reserved children in the US and Australia, respectively. Brave Snail Designs Sophia's Instagram Find more info on Sophia's tarot deck here ....
Does writer's block exist? Yes it does. In this episode I challenge those who say it's not a real thing by exploring my own recent experience with it. In my opinion, writer's block isn't just being unable to write, it's broader than that, and I talk about why, the reasons behind writer's block, what it looks like, and how I deal with it. This isn't your typical perspective (when is anything I do typical lol), and hopefully it will enlighten you a bit about the condition of writer's block and giv...
What do you do when the path ahead seems hopeless, and you feel resignation coming over you? I contemplate this through a personal reckoning with Kierkegaard's contrasting Knight of Faith and Knight of Resignation archetypes. When You Don't Have the Privilege of Mental Health
I had a discouraging week, and so to cheer myself up I decided to give myself a break from doing a regular podcast episode and read you one of my short stories instead! This is the first time I have shared my fiction on this podcast. The story is called "The Memory of Trees," and it's about a woman going to visit the mother of her childhood best friend, a friend who once shared a terrible secret with her.
It is notoriously difficult for creatives and artists to judge their own work. We cycle through extremes: one day we think we're awesome, the next we think we must have been delusional to believe we had any talent. We're even worse when it comes to other people's judgements of our work: a single critical comment can derail us for weeks, months, years. Given our sensitivities, how can we ever know the true value of our work? How do we know if it's any good, worth spending time on, putting out int...
I've never been the type of person who has one feeling about anything. As an Enneagram 4, I put equal value on the lighter and the darker emotions, and I've never understood our cultural obsession with positivity. Lately, though, many people have been speaking up about toxic positivity, a type of social pressure put on us to perform positive thoughts and feelings. I couldn't be more wholeheartedly in favor of opening up space for darker emotions. My hope is that we can move to a place where not ...
In this episode Matthew Bellringer and I flip the script on neurodiversity, exploring it from a generative and validating perspective. Matthew is one of the most eloquent speakers I've come across on the subjects of neurodiversity and what it looks like and feels like for a neurodiverse person. As someone with ADHD and who also identifies as an HSP, Matthew speaks to both. His perspective is science-informed yet anchored in the subjective individual experience, which matches very well with my ow...
Is being performative always bad? Not when it functions to give you a better understanding of your true nature. In this episode I discuss performativity and authenticity, and the cycle of separation from and return to the self that constitutes fulfilling our potential as human beings. Learn the difference between the discomfort of straying from your true nature and the uncomfortableness of going against convention or expectation, as well as how to use performativity as a counterintuitive methodo...
What happens when you've been living to-do list free and decide to make one? Listen to find out! You'll hear about the astonishing experience I recently had when I decided to make a seemingly benign to-do list to help me find activities to fill some of the open spaces in my life. I thought it would help me fill that time with activities that have value to me, but it had totally unforeseen and unfortunate consequences. I discuss the two different ways to view and experience time, which one modern...
I sought out regular treatments for decades to help me manage my depression, and nothing worked until I finally decided to step into my identity as a creative & artist and commit to making creative practice the center of my life. In this episode I talk about how and why creative practice is my anti-depressant of choice, why it's the only thing that's worked for me, and what my creative practice looks like (it's not just sitting down to write!). My standard disclaimer about mental health subj...
Does this sound familiar? You start off a creative project full of enthusiasm, and in the beginning you're able to regularly put in the work needed to reach your goal, but over time your motivation fades, you have to increasingly discipline yourself into doing the work, you start slacking off, and then finally are unable to make yourself do any work at all. You've failed, and you castigate yourself for being lazy and undisciplined. Good news! You're not lazy or undisciplined, you just haven't fi...
Frances Khalastchi runs Better Bolder Braver (along with her partner Simon Batchelar), an online community for coaches that helps them learn how to market themselves in a way that feels natural, ethical, and authentic to them. In this episode we discuss her fascinating and winding path to starting her own business and the many meanings and uses of art. Frances has a background in art history and has an informed and interesting perspective on these issues. As I discuss in my summation at the end ...
Happy New Year! In this first episode of 2022 I'm doing things a bit different. As I evolve as a creative, so does my work here on the podcast and elsewhere. That's how I keep things fresh for myself, which keeps me motivated and inspired. In this episode I discuss why it's not too late for you to achieve your creative dreams no matter what age you are, and suggest that when we feel discouraged we ask ourselves, what would Betty White say? Read the blog post this episode is based on here ....
My wish for all of us going into the new year is to NOT clutter our brains up with goals, resolutions, self-improvement plans, and the like. I want to encourage us to see the new year as an opportunity for personal empowerment through connecting with our true desires AND developing our confidence that we can actually achieve them. This is not an episode that includes tips, directives, or prescriptions. Instead I offer a visualization that can help us come back into ourselves and locate our inter...
You've heard of the circadian rhythm, I'm sure, but did you know there are others that govern our daily functioning? One is the ultradian rhythm, which occurs in ~90 minute itervals through the day and night. The ultradian rhythm influences everything from our REM sleep to how long we can effectively focus on tasks. For years I felt something was wrong with me that I have a very clear 60-90 minute window for doing concentration-heavy tasks like creative writing. I'd hear self-proclaimed "serious...
This special holiday season episode is part of the bonus content from my Patreon. In it I talk about the challenges I face doing business as an introverted HSP. You'll also hear my thoughts on the forced and often aggressive positivity you see in the public sphere of the creator economy, why I not only accept but embrace the darker/heavier emotions of the human experience, and my gratitude that I've finally committed to a life of creative fulfillment. Thank you to all my listeners for supporting...
Today I have a happy holiday surprise for you! It is the one-year anniversary of my podcast, and I wanted to do something special for all my wonderfully supportive listeners. So for the next two weeks, I will be releasing episodes that are part of my Patreon bonus content. In this episode I discuss why and how procrastination can be used as a creativity tool through an in-depth analysis of a recently published (2020) article by Jihae Shin and Adam M. Grant in the Academy of Management Journal. Y...
