Kids in the Hall reviewing Great Western Trail: "What's the point of what we do?" "Sorry, I don't follow you." "Well, I mean, we travel 250,000 light years across the universe, abduct cows, probe them, and release them." "Yeah, and?" "Well, doesn't it seem kind of pointless?" "I don't think I should question the leadership of our Great Leader." "Oh, come on. We've been coming here for fifty years and performing cow probes, a...
Apr 05, 2022•1 hr 6 min
Let us not, as the saying goes, hold the perfect in opposition to the good. We here at SVWAG always encourage the lowering of standards, which the hosts tend to do by their very presences--dragging down the average of any group of which they are a part. We offer but a portion of an episode, but let us be optimists and observe that that allows us to be less wrong. 01:34 AYURIS: Versailles 1919 (Geoff Engelstein & Mark Herman, GMT Games, 2020) Games Played Last Week: 05:42 -Creature Comforts (...
Mar 29, 2022•57 min
The range of new features our merch line has opened up is endless. Who wore it better?, SVWAG Hypebeast, Project Runway SVWAG, Making the Cut SVWAG, the possibilities abound! Get me Tim Gunn on the line, I'm sure he's heard of us. I'm sure we'll see His Grace, Professor Doktor Doktor Vincent, Duke of Diesel, esq. O.B.E. in a t-shirt two sizes too small before long. 01:07 AYURIS: Imperial Struggle (Ananda Gupta & Jason Matthews, GMT Games, 2020) Games Played Last Week: 03:26 -...
Mar 15, 2022•1 hr 18 min
Much art is discussed this week, from French Romantics, to pirate stuff, to conspiracist vision boards, to whatever Walker is doing when he uses clothespins on felt. Mark wonders whether he can justify leaving in dead air and calling it "bold use of negative space," but the deeper worry is that too many people would prefer the silence. Games Played Last Week: 01:14 -Ark Nova (Mathias Wigge, Feuerland Spiele, 2021) 05:46 -Agricola (Revised Edition) (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games, 2016) 10:...
Mar 08, 2022•1 hr 10 min
We're always on the lookout for new potential taglines here at SVWAG, as our earlier efforts "that one where the guy talks to that dude" and "we shout into a can so you don't have to" have been deemed insufficient. "We like it hard" was put forth by Walker, but the editorial staff are afraid it is apt to be misconstrued. "We weaponize children" was rejected for the opposite reason, namely that it might be correctly interpreted. Specificity tends to get us ...
Mar 01, 2022•1 hr 7 min
We are Canadian, and thus must perforce apologize for those we may have slandered, misquoted, or used their name in vain: Warmboy, Alan Turing, Dewey, Peggy Lee, Dick Pound, Bruno Faidutti, and His Grace, Professor Doktor Doktor Vincent, Duke of Diesel, esq. O.B.E. We are honoured to have inadvertently tarnished the reputations of such grandees. Games Played Last Week: 00:52 -The Quest for El Dorado: The Golden Temples (Reiner Knizia, Ravensburger, 2019) 03:59 -Copenhagen (Asger Harding Granerud...
Feb 22, 2022•1 hr 8 min
It is a strange thing for one's hobby to be utterly infused with a nominally competitive structure. I would venture to say that knitters, for instance, devote precious little thought as to whether they can knit more or less well than their fellow crafters. Perhaps it is different for scrapbookers, I don't know, they seem like a ruthless lot. 01:16 AYURIS: Aristeia! (Alberto Abal, Jesús Fuster, & David Rosillo, Corvus Belli, 2017) Games Played Last Week: 04:20 -Città-Stato (Simone Cer...
Feb 15, 2022•1 hr 14 min
The So Very Wrong About Games line of Action Princess Dolls (TM) are coming to a store near you! Thrill to all your favourite characters, like Huey, Dewey, and Louis, each with weird monochromatic accessories and some spring-loaded gimmick that'll bruise some kid in Oregon and thus be regulated into weaksauce! Plus, get the Kingston Action Playset. Your parents put it together, batteries not included. Games Played Last Week: 01:57 -Puzzle Strike 2 (David Sirlin, Sirlin Games, 2022) 08:49 -Th...
Feb 08, 2022•1 hr 8 min
No, dear listener, we haven't played that one regional trick-taking game popular in the Adirondacks where the only red card is the 9 of diamonds and you play counter-clockwise and the bid is called in pig latin and you have to wear your socks on your hands. I'm sure it's a blast. We are but tourists in the wide world of taking tricks, and to some extent it can be a hobby unto itself. Contract Bridge alone! But we share our thoughts all the same. 01:49 AYURIS: Clans of Caledonia (Juma...
Feb 01, 2022•1 hr 13 min
It's a star-studded eleganza extravaganza, featuring your two least-favourite SVWAG hosts giving you an incomplete capsule summary of a terrible year of great games. Of course, they neglected to play That One Game, of course, which means that all their observations are utterly useless, but how does that differentiate this episode from any other? This offering is more classy, however, as in a concession to the glitz and glamour of end-of-year shows, both hosts begrudgingly and uncharacteristi...
Jan 25, 2022•1 hr 27 min
In the 14th Century B.C.E., the pharaoh Akhenaten attempted to shift Egypt into monotheism centered on the cult of the god Aten. Apparently there's some who argue it was possibly instead henotheism, whereby many gods are acknowledged but one is elevated above the others--a claim advanced about many ostensibly mono- or polytheistic religions, even some practised today--but at any rate is was exceptionally controversial. By the time his son Tutankhaten became pharaoh, the cult of Aten was supp...
Dec 28, 2021•1 hr 21 min
Some things, of course, from Josie and the Pussycats have aged poorly. The idea of "record stores" and CDs (that could, in turn sell out like they were PS5s or something) is downright quaint--especially given the format of this show. I'm pretty confident that the cultural moment of Moviefone Guy has well and truly passed, despite the continued use of both movies and phones. Do people still know who Carson Daly is? I confess I never really did. Mostly I know him from that totally jerk...
Dec 21, 2021•1 hr 17 min
The hosts are, briefly, back in the same room again, and this has had the unfortunate effect of bringing out the very worst in Mark. Don't worry, he doesn't spend ten minutes complaining about the implied political claims of kids' shows, but his mind naturally went to the gutter of abominable puns. You have been warned. Games Played Last Week: 01:16 -On Mars (Vital Lacerda, Eagle-Gryphon Games, 2020) 04:24 -Pulsar 2849 (Vladimír Suchý, CGE, 2017) 06:37 -Hibachi (Marco Teubner, Grail ...
Dec 14, 2021•1 hr 10 min
We skip over substantial portions of our hosts' stories, of course. No mention is made of Walker's extensive experience with Gilbert & Sullivan. Mark's stint as the Official Pokémon Master of Canada is glossed over. The deep tribal conflict of Jocks versus Geeks, of which Walker is destined to be the bridge (think Dune but even more messianic), is only alluded to. Someday, the whole story might be told, but you wouldn't believe us. 01:43 AYURIS: Nemesis (Adam Kwapiński, Awake...
Dec 07, 2021•1 hr 16 min
We have become feature-hungry here at SVWAG. We debut Walker's Language Corner which, let us be frank, is not apt to be repeated, especially given Walker's aversion to dead languages. We finally name a recurring segment that has been airing unaccredited for years, and we have dubbed in Mark's Rage Theatre. It is Festivus every day of the year, and Mark has some grievances to air. Games Played Last Week: 01:18 -Paper Dungeons (Leandro Pires, MeepleBR, 2020) 04:40 -Sheepy Time (Neil Ki...
Nov 30, 2021•1 hr 17 min
One of the great tragic modern misapprehensions of history is the blanching of fascism. It seems that people can watch Attack on Titan and play with their space marines, and simply because there are no swastikas to be found they assume that there are no connections to fascistic ideology contained therein. This is one of the reasons why we so appreciate the humble cucumber sandwich--we would assert that its very fragility and delicacy evoke anti-fascism. Whether one ought to use butter or cream c...
Nov 23, 2021•1 hr 21 min
Sometimes your devotion and enthusiasm doesn't translate into research or comprehensiveness. Case in point, dear listeners--The Legend of Korra, a franchise Walker introduced to Mark, is one that Walker loves but--shocker!--is one he has only seen but half of. It is revealed during Mark's unhinged ramblings about he would have "fixed" season 3 that Walker is utterly unfamiliar with what he's talking about, and not for the usual reasons. Masterpiece Theatre will never be the s...
Nov 09, 2021•1 hr 20 min
"Planned obsolescence" is not just an economic term, it is a way of life for some companies. It is the practice of deliberately making a sold item frail or of limited use until it is unfashionable; this forces the consumer to replace it sooner than they would otherwise. Analysts tell us that it is best deployed by oligopolies to increase their sales volume. Completely unrelatedly, we talk about Games Workshop in the news. Games Played Last Week: 01:26 -Mindbug (Skaff Elias, Richard Garfi...
Nov 02, 2021•55 min
This topic was suggested by Penn State law professor Jacob Schuman, although let us be perfectly clear that he does not necessarily endorse any of the views expressed. I mean, if Justices Breyer and/or Alito heard us impugn their oracular insights, no doubt we would be put on blast; much like those terrible journalists for having the sheer gall to posit that judges are, well, human and all. Perish the thought! We also apologize for suggesting that textualism does not ineffably guide one to the T...
Oct 26, 2021•1 hr 12 min
We are dangerously approaching peak culture here on SVWAG. In addition to Masterpiece Theatre, we have the return of the pie ranking system, plus now music tie-ins for Arkhipov Day. Could a wine section be far behind? Well, actually, Mark labels most of Walker's in-game comments the wine section. You see?! Yet more culture! Games Played Last Week: 01:53 -Tidal Blades: Heroes of the Reef (Tim Eisner & Ben Eisner, Druid City Games, 2020) 02:41 -ALIEN: Fate of the Nostromo (Scott Rogers, Ra...
Oct 19, 2021•1 hr 18 min
It was a thrill to have a pan-Anglo alliance together to raise money for Food Banks Canada, with many current or prior Commonwealth countries represented either on the stream or in the donations. That is globalism we can get behind here at SVWAG. That said, let us make our next planned fundraising endeavour yet more international: a Kickstarter campaign to fund Mark's acquisition of a Ferrari Portofino. Equally altruistic, yes? 02:56 -Posthuman Saga (Gordon Calleja, Mighty Boards, 2019) Game...
Oct 05, 2021•1 hr 21 min
In case you missed it, we have now offered to the series of tubes the definitive website for all your non-porn non-cat needs. Sowronggames.com is your official repository for all things SVWAG, including all of our episodes, editorial policies, the full Swagoo, and definitions of all the arcane cant of the show (such as Swagoo). Excellent for neophytes and long-time Svwaggers alike. Unlike other websites, we don't discriminate against bots! We believe sapient bots deserve full moral recogniti...
Sep 28, 2021•1 hr 9 min
All right, we need to talk about Sokka. Another staple of kid's shows is often The Annoying One. I don't know why, but they're often there. Steven Universe had Ronaldo, but they knew to use him sparingly. Sokka is so aggressively obnoxious in the first two episodes it is a miracle anyone makes it to episode three. He could have just been the complainer, but additionally his monumental and gratuitous misogyny is so bad that one wonders what Suki (an awesome character) ever saw in him....
Sep 21, 2021•2 hr 30 min
We have seen the future, and it is now. We have fired up our Netscape Navigator, and interfaced the hypertext protocol over at Geocities, and made us our very own webzone. Maybe soon we'll be able to set up an FTP server for our episodes. We will register on every web ring we can find, whether it's about Sailor Moon or Tamagotchi or Neopets. So go tell your Usenet groups to head on over to sowronggames.com! Games Played Last Week: 01:14 -Tidal Blades: Heroes of the Reef (Tim Eisner &...
Sep 14, 2021•1 hr 7 min
MARCUS BIGNEY Here comes Fantasy Flight's body, mourned by Michael Walker: who, though he had no hand in its death, shall receive the benefit of its dying, a place in the hobby; as which of you shall not? WALKER Friends, gamers, hobbyists, lend me your ears; I come to bury Fantasy Flight, not to praise it. The evil that publishers do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones; So let it be with Fantasy Flight. The noble Bigney Hath told you FFG was ambitious: If it were so, ...
Sep 07, 2021•1 hr 19 min
Cultural gaps can be quite tragic, to say nothing of socially debilitating. Mark discovers to his horror that Walker is unfamiliar both with a key game and a crucial character in film history. Thank goodness that this faux pas does not sully Masterpiece Theatre, as that would bring shame to both the Warrior of the Wasteland and Vin Diesel. Games Played Last Week: 01:02 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020) 03:19 -Onitama (Shimpei Sato, conception, 2...
Aug 31, 2021•1 hr 22 min
I used to tell a joke about Heimdall, but it was pretty horny. I used to tell a joke about Osiris, but it fell to pieces. I used to tell a joke about Venus, but it was masturbatory. I used to tell a joke about Sleipnir, but it didn't have legs. I used to tell a joke about Prometheus, but it needed a spark. I used to tell a joke about Draupnir, but it just didn't ever end. I used to tell a joke about Marathon, but it was a bit of a long walk. I used to tell a joke about the Hecatoncheires...
Aug 24, 2021•1 hr 25 min
We delve deep into knowledge and doubt this week on SVWAG. How do we know what we know? How can we know what we don't know? Why did Mark think Vienna Connection was a train game? Who or what is Wormy Plums, and is it a euphemism for some kind of sex act? Why is there no Masterpiece Theatre? Thankfully, we can at least answer that last question--it is because The F8 of the Furious took such a toll on the hosts' psyches that they needed a break to recuperate. Games Played Last Week: 01:16 ...
Aug 17, 2021•1 hr 7 min
The crushing burden of Masterpiece Theatre is having a toll. I had an attitude problem, but then I took a timeout, and I thought about what I did. The success of the Fast and/or Furious movies is undeniable--business-wise, this all seems like appropriate business--but at what cost? I went to the stock market today. I did a business. SVWAG is most emphatically not children stacked together wearing a trenchcoat. Would you like a alcohol? 02:39 AYURIS: Catan: Starfarers (Klaus Teuber, KOSMOS, 2019)...
Aug 10, 2021•1 hr 10 min
NB: "Language independent" can be a loaded term, and we confess we used it a tad sloppily in our discussion of Tribune. Latin is used throughout the game, and ain't nobody speaks Latin as their first language anymore, but nonetheless in hindsight we could have been more sensitive to those more familiar with non-Latin alphabets. Thus, we should say that the original Primus Inter Pares expansion and the new Spielworxx Tribune are language-independent but not alphabet-independent. I dar...
Aug 03, 2021•1 hr 14 min
