"Money makes the world go 'round" is a common saying decried by most astronomers and physicists, who instead stubbornly maintain that it is due to some invisible thing that can't even qualify for a credit card. "More money than God" is also a strange phrasing, insofar as I believe the theological consensus (ranging from the Abrahamic faiths all the way to Pastafarianism) is that God does not hold assets in the standard sense. Then again, I've never seen His portfolio....
Apr 23, 2019•1 hr 6 min
We spare you the onomatopoeias this week, as our audio editing software cannot process the brightly-coloured spiky expostulations properly. Walker gets to backpedal at full speed this week, having previously declared his being done with both 1 vs. all games and games with tons of minis. So he surely wouldn't have any enthusiasm for this 1 vs. all minis-heavy game, would he? Could he?! Na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na PLASTIC AYURIS: GKR: Heavy Hitters 1m25s (Matt Hyra, Cryptoz...
Apr 16, 2019•1 hr 8 min
Here's the thing, at least as Mark understands it: acquired tastes are weird. Some things are great the first time. Furthermore, some things are easy and great the first time. Take chocolate, for example. Most people start out champs at eating chocolate. Mark tried to get good at something once, but he found out that requires effort. Who has time for ten thousand hours when there's elite-level candy consumption to be had? Walker on the other hand laments Mark's narrow little horizons...
Apr 09, 2019•1 hr 9 min
Today is a telling day in the annals of SVWAG, especially with respect to Mark coming to terms with his own essential wrongness. He gets to partially repent for his tonal excesses with respect to the AYURIS; he gets to mull over painful loves lost in Billionaire Banshee; and he gets to realize that once again that while Walker cares deeply about people, he cares mostly about stuffing his face and listening to loud music. Things get real. AYURIS: Champions of Midgard 1m47s (Ole Steiness, Grey Fox...
Apr 02, 2019•59 min
HATE has landed, and you can't have it. CMON's dalliances with Kickstarter exclusives have been numerous, but now they have their first Kickstarter-exclusive game. We review it not to taunt you with things you can't acquire, but rather to give you the vicarious thrill of someone who can have everything. Let your imagination whisk you away to a universe that is all plastic cannibalistic hardcases! AYURIS: Battlelore 2nd Edition 2m14s (Richard Borg & Robert A. Kouba, FFG, 2013) Gam...
Mar 26, 2019•1 hr 7 min
As my father is wont to say, "Accept credit, pass blame." Actually, no, I said that, and it's my father's fault that I forgot the correct attribution. Is that how that works? At any rate, we here at SVWAG are always happy to claim responsibility for all positive developments. When and if peace breaks out anywhere, we will assert it is our doing based merely on this aside. Such is the power of our episode notes and our self-aggrandizement! AYURIS: The World of SMOG: Rise of Moloch...
Mar 19, 2019•1 hr 17 min
Currencies drive many things, perhaps most things. HATE is driven by a currency called Savagery, which I believe is floated on the international market and its exchange rate fluctuates daily. We here at So Very Wrong About Games fuel our episodes with Snark, which is pegged conveniently to the Canadian Dollar. As a consequence, when some of you might be tempted to correct Mark on the name of the 1987 Richard Halliwell design ("um, actually, it's Block Mania, not Block Panic"), you ar...
Mar 12, 2019•1 hr 20 min
You do you, Walker always says, except he almost never does. Mark always says smoke 'em if you got 'em, despite his never uttering those words and frankly not knowing what they mean. He tried smoking once and didn't enjoy it. Why care about such petty things as truth or data when it feels consistent with a narrative you're peddling? Echoes of contemporary politics abound, as we ponder whether a game needs to be balanced so long as it tells a good tale. AYURIS: Rising Sun (Eric La...
Feb 26, 2019•1 hr 20 min
The Peter Principle observes that people tend to get promoted to their level of incompetence. Namely if someone does a job well, they'll be promoted, until such time as they cease doing a job well and persist at that level of ineptitude. We mention this not because it accurately describes the arc of Mark's life both professionally and personally--which, let's face it, it does--but rather because we have decided to promote the AYURIS from off-hand remark into Full Fledged Segment (AYU...
Feb 19, 2019•1 hr 13 min
Sometimes categories are useful taxonomical tools, and sometimes they are so blunt as to be confusing and unhelpful. What gets parsed as "worker placement" can get downright murky at times. To Walker, though, the world is clear and simple. Tolstoy tells us that "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Walker has a modified view--all fun games are fun and thus good and interchangeable, and all unfun games are bad and thus the same. It's a ...
Feb 12, 2019•1 hr 8 min
Just as we are told that it's always five o'clock somewhere, we can be assured that Mark and Walker are always wrong somewhere. Time marches inexorably forward, and we mark that passage of time by checking in with the much-loved Quartermaster General series. Mark would happily tell you that time is nothing more and nothing less than a priori intuition, which when internalized allows us to ground the science of mathematics--and then Walker would rightfully point out that it's time for...
Feb 05, 2019•1 hr 2 min
Sometimes our hosts can't quite understand what the situation demands of them. Walker has been known to approach thoughtful, deliberative games with the oft-repeated demand of "when do I get to shoot LEMME SHOOT." Mark tends to greet new acquaintances with profanity-laden assaults on their life choices, hygiene, and character. These traits perhaps serve to explain how they find themselves in the social circles that they do. Games Played Last Week: -The Quacks of Quedlingburg 2m37s (W...
Jan 29, 2019•1 hr 9 min
We take endorsements very seriously here at SVWAG. The Ferragamo deal fell through after Walker was seen wearing Fendi, and the whole Burberry fiasco is better left forgotten. Converse was our backup, but suffice to say after Mark's public comments about sportsball that seems like a distant possibility at best. All that said, we endorse Gloomy Companion unreservedly. We don't resort to apps very often, but we don't Gloomhaven without Gloomy Companion employed on a tablet. We've t...
Jan 22, 2019•1 hr 7 min
Constant vigilance is the price of audio quality, and we apologize for how badly that struggle has been going of late. Walker prostrates himself before the altar of Bars, and Bars we achieve, but the nature of those Bars have been fickle. Their shape and pattern cannot be properly contained or channeled, and thus they spurn us and assault your ears. Rest assured that we are consulting the augurs and they are poring over the entrails of many a cassette tape in order to discern how we may appease ...
Jan 15, 2019•1 hr 18 min
Peer influence is a strange thing. For years Mark has been yelling at Walker about various ways he really ought to change, but a single board game now has Walker spewing Macross lore like he's a convert. Perhaps the authors like Erin Lee Escobedo have a point, and board games really can serve to deliver subtle yet powerful influence. Perhaps we could make board games to convince people to like and dislike the right board games... Games Played Last Week: -Telestrations 3m40s (Uncredited, USAo...
Jan 08, 2019•1 hr 6 min
Another round about the sun is complete, at least for those who acknowledge that sort of thing. I'm certain there must be a strand of Flat Eartherism that bows to the reality of the Earth's orbit--I could find out, but boardgaming already more than satisfies my desire for obscure minutia. We look back at the releases of the year, agreeing on many things but rather sharply disagreeing on others. There will be lists! And categories! Oh, the pageantry! Games Played Last Week: -Space Hulk: S...
Dec 18, 2018•1 hr 18 min
Players aren't the only people who make choices, of course. Designers and publishers make decisions about the setting and the theme of their games. Insofar as games can communicate a message--whether purely aesthetic or more ideological--it is beneficial to have a clear vision. Things can get exceptionally problematic when you start playing fast and loose with things of great cultural and historical import. Incidentally, I will note that while our topic and our feature game often have no con...
Dec 11, 2018•1 hr 6 min
As a new coping mechanism, Mark and Walker decide to expunge their deepest shameful acts of conspicuous consumption and frivolous travel by talking about it on the internet. Now that Tumblr is is divesting themselves of adult content they can't post their Stephen Universe erotica there, so this is the next best thing. Don't tell Mark and Walker that a) anyone is listening, or b) they've been using their real names. Games Played Last Week: -Gùgong 3m33s (Andreas Steding, Game Brewer, ...
Dec 04, 2018•1 hr 13 min
Lots of talk of economics in this week's news. One might expect a diminishing return on such talk, but as rational consumers of news we often find a deficit of such a valuable commodity. Ceteris paribus, we're willing to offer you the free lunch of our altruism, even though that may lead to a tragedy of the commons. We value your investment of time when you listen to us--our intellectual capital is all we have, after all. I don't think I'm very bullish on this bit any more. Games...
Nov 27, 2018•1 hr 13 min
There's this substance that the British people deploy called "salad cream." Chemists, for decades, have tried to break down its constituent parts; but the substance's sheer viscosity--not to mention its disturbing colour and odour--have defied all analysis. I mention this because despite our Canadian prerogative of spelling colour and odour as we do, the cultural rites of salad cream are alien to us. We're proud members of the Commonwealth, but we have our limits. Also, you c...
Nov 20, 2018•1 hr 7 min
What's in a name? Well, if the game is KeyForge, the name is pretty much the entire game. As we have learned from bots in the past, set an algorithm loose on the internet and it'll probably come back as a racist misogynist troll. So far we've seen little of that scale in KeyForge deck names, but it's spat out some pretty amazing names nonetheless. Games Played Last Week: -Paper Tales 3m24s (Masato Uesugi, Stronghold, 2017) -Food Chain Magnate 6m08s (Jeroen Doumen & Joris Wier...
Nov 13, 2018•1 hr 18 min
We are an easily-triggered group, we geeks, we nerds; so allow us to exercize due diligence and offer the following warnings. Spoiler Alert: we discuss what spoilers are. Meta Alert: we get pretty meta about spoilers. Existentialism Alert: Walker gets pretty existential (parenthetical alert: you might have figured Mark would instead, but he has very little time for existentialism, being more modern than post-modern). Games Played Last Week: -Endeavor: Age of Sail 1m41s (Carl de Visser & Jarr...
Nov 06, 2018•1 hr 10 min
We've always been here. Waiting, in this basement, yelling into the can. When we invented podcasts all those years ago it was merely as avenue for our pre-existing subterranean discourse. Now some of you have joined us, and our labours are no longer in vain. Once the power dies out, we'll still be here, yelling into the can. About boardgames. Games Played Last Week: -Race for the Galaxy: Xeno Invasion 1m43s (Thomas Lehmann, Rio Grande Games, 2015) -Everdell 5m54s (James A. Wilson, Starli...
Oct 30, 2018•1 hr 11 min
Reading your audience is a hard thing, and not even just when blasting your errant opinions over the interwebs. Mark couldn't read the room when Walker requested a certain game, and that didn't end well. Walker couldn't perceive Mark's growing misgivings about the feature game. This one time I thought a baby boy was a baby girl and the parents were very offended. Life is hard! Games Played Last Week: -Star Realms 2m19s (Robert Dougherty & Darwin Kastle, White Wizard, 2014) -A...
Oct 23, 2018•1 hr 14 min
I hope you're planning your Arkhipov Day festivities. Don't get me wrong, I dig Stanislav Petrov as much as the next guy, but for my money Vasili Arkhipov is the man, and he doesn't get nearly enough credit. Because, you know, he either saved your life or your ancestors' lives--the least we could do is give the man a holiday. He doesn't even have a card in Twilight Struggle! See, I brought it back to games in the end. Games Played Last Week: -Galaxy Trucker: Missions 3m00s (V...
Oct 16, 2018•1 hr 15 min
We're always wondering about what comes next, always on the lookout for the next big thing--both in games and broadcasting. That's why we're open to being elevated to the judiciary, so the next time there's a search committee feel free to add Mark and Walker to the ol' shortlist. We're open to traveling, so it doesn't have to be any particular country. We hear The Hague is nice? Games Played Last Week: -Mystic Vale 2m02s (John D. Clair, AEG, 2016) -Sentinels of the Mu...
Oct 02, 2018•1 hr 13 min
We would like to apologize for the poorer audio quality of this episode. The editor (Mark) would dearly like to attribute it somehow to Walker's illness-induced stupor, but try as he might he can't seem to blame the victim on this one. The microphone has let us all down, dear listeners, and all we can do is vow not to repeat the twin errors--the one being the reduced audio quality, the other in Mark not being able to scapegoat the victim. Games Played Last Week: -Street Masters: Redempti...
Sep 25, 2018•1 hr 16 min
Sometimes, dear listeners, the news does matter, and in such instances our hosts feel under-equipped to address them properly. Such is the nature of crippling incompetence. I mean, they could have devoted their time to worthwhile pursuits (like playing games) but instead they shout into a can to strangers (about playing games). But sometimes circumstances demand a brief segue into matters of consequence, and so we here at SVWAG swear by the majestic mountains of Manitoba to do our best. Games Pl...
Sep 18, 2018•1 hr 12 min
Oh, hello there. The door's unlocked--just come on in. Please pardon our informal setting, here, we just want you to be comfortable. I suppose, though, that a tone of complete familiarity shouldn't prevent us from doing introductions. I'm the episode description, and I'm the thing you don't read. Our hosts are Mark Bigney and Mike Walker, and they're the ones you don't respect. Stay with us for a while, won't you? Games Played Last Week: -Aeon's End 1m15s (Kev...
Sep 11, 2018•1 hr 18 min
Walker, ever truculent, finally succumbs to the inevitable and submits his top ten. Now we can move on, and it is best we do, as there is no shortage of games to be played! Gencon is over and the new releases flow like sweet chocolate milk. Despite this pressure, Mark and Walker find the time to indulge in old classics of yesteryear, and not just the "classics" from "back in the day" of "2012". Games Played Last Week: -Eclipse 3m00s (Touko Tahkokallio, Lautapelit.fi, 2011...
Sep 04, 2018•1 hr 26 min
