Hey, it's Adon Woldeselassi from Smashroom Best. I've got exciting news. This October, the Brains on Universe team is sharing some of our super special bonus episodes. If you're a SmartyPass subscriber, you already know about these episodes.
But if you aren't, we wanted to give you a taste of what you'd get if you joined. All October, we're asking you to support our shows by subscribing to SmartyPass. And to celebrate, we'll host a virtual Smarty Party in November just for SmartyPass subscribers. Join today at smartypass.org, and you'll have bonus episodes like these, ad-free episodes, and other awesome perks. Again, that's smartypass.org. Thanks so much for supporting the shows. Now entering Brains On Headquarters.
Hey, Smarty Pal. Mark Sanchez here, and I'm with my friend Anna Goldfield. Yeah, Mark and I were headed to the Brains on Racetrack to see who's faster, my snail, Lola, or his sloth. Alfred. Alfred is incredible behind the wheel. Anna, how is Lola even going to drive her car? With gusto. That's how. Oh, hey, guys. Well, if it isn't Molly Bloom, are you coming to watch the race? Uh, no, I'm actually looking for something. You haven't seen Sand and Totten anywhere, have you? No, why?
Oh, it doesn't matter. Follow-up question. Have you seen anyone from the Cretaceous period running around? Um, not since Christmas, no. Why do you ask? Well, you know how we have that super-duper 3D bioprinter in the basement? I sure do. I use it whenever I need someone to carpool with. Well, I used it to make a velociraptor so I could finally teach a lizard how to salsa. Of course.
Anyway, I 3D printed a velociraptor, but just to be safe, I made sure it was vegan so it wouldn't eat any of us. But the minute we started to dance, it smelled Sandin's vegan pumpkin bread and ran off. If it eats Sandin's pumpkin bread, Sandin will be heartbroken. I know, he loves that bread. Wait, what's the big deal? I mean, if Sandin's allowed to eat the pumpkin bread, then so should a velociraptor.
Sandin gets to eat that because he's funny and kind and has great hair. Well, velociraptors run at a speed of 24 miles per hour and have 60 serrated teeth. Does Sandin have that many teeth? Are his teeth even serrated? He has the perfect amount of teeth because he's perfect. Do you really think a dinky dino is as good as our Sandin? No, I think Sandin's great.
He doesn't have claws or feathers. And when you think about it, shouldn't a velociraptor get as much vegan pumpkin bread as anyone else? Wow, I didn't think you two were so polarized when it came to velociraptors and Santa Taunton. I just really like dinosaurs. Sandin is my friend. Well, there's only one way to find out which is better with a... Sneak attack.
will play by any other name. For this sneak attack, you must pretend Sandin and Velociraptors don't have names. Come up with three alternative names for your side. Mark, you'll be representing Sandin, and Anna, you'll be representing... Presenting velociraptors. Does that make sense to you too? Totally. Got it. Oh, absolutely. It's my honor. Okay. Mark, you'll go first. Please give us a nickname for Mr. Totten. All right. Let's see.
Sandin is a world-class dresser. So I'm going to call another name for Sandin Totten would be fun-loving fashionista. Oh, very nice. Okay, Anna, what would you call a velociraptor if you couldn't say velociraptor? We're going to start simple. I'm going to go with legs. Because they're really fast. All right, Mark, it is time for Sandin's second alternate name. Okay, I'm sticking with Sandin's traits here. Fan of punk rock. Also a fan of giving very...
specific gifts to people. He's a great gift giver. People don't know this. So I'm going to say another word for Sandin is punk rock presenter of perfect presence. Ooh, alliteration. I love it. All right, Anna, time for your second alternative name for velociraptors. Okay, so as we all know... Birds are descended directly from dinosaurs. So I'm going to go ahead and call the toothy velociraptor a chompy chicken. Another alliterative name. I'm into it. All right.
Mark, please give us the final alternate name for Sandin. Well, if we really want to know Sandin's alternate name, of course, it's Peppy McPeppermint. Because he's so peppy, he's got so much energy, and he's cool like a mint. Wow. All right, Anna, please give us your final alternative name for velociraptors.
Well, this is the one I was saving for last, and Mark totally pulled the rug out from under me because Velociraptor in Latin translates to like speedy snatcher or grabber. So my final submission for... Name for Velociraptor is Speedy McGrabs. Ooh, I love this. Peppy McPeppermint versus Speedy McGrabs. Ooh, okay. Those are really great names, you two. Well, whatever you call him, Sandin is the best, I think.
Hello? You guys, a dinosaur in my office is eating all of my pumpkin bread. Does it have 60 teeth? Does it know how to salsa? Send help. That's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by Otter and Wolda Selassie, edited by Sandin Totten, and produced by Lauren Humpert. Our executive producers, Beth Perlman, and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Gavati and Joanne Griffith. Brains On is a non-profit public radio program. Thanks, SmartyPass friends. Bye. See ya.