Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it.
She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Do you ever feel like everyone is just way ahead of you when it comes to money? I don't know if you can relate to this so much, but certainly, like maybe the people listening, it kind of just feels like, no matter how far you go, it feels like you still aren't where you want to be, but also where everyone else is, it's like so much further ahead. Like it just always feels like you're running this rat race.
We all do it.
Points which is why we're talking today about the cost of comparison culture. On today's episode. My name is beck Side and with me as always is Victoria Divine. Hello, my friend.
I'm excited to talk about this because we have talked about comparison culture on the podcast before. It was honestly, like terrifyingly a couple of years ago. Back we've been around a while, but you're right, like, I do go through things and feel like I'm behind, and I think if I had admitted that publicly to you, you'd be like ve pull your head in, like when the pretty girl goes, oh, I'm so ugly today, and you're like, absolutely, you are not sit down, Like what the heck? Like
you're the prettiest thing I've seen in my life. You know, when someone says something and it feels unhinged, you're like, oh, they can't believe that, Like, yes, absolutely not. What do you mean you got up on the wrong side of the bed. You're basically a supermodeled.
Like, yeah, that's what it feels like.
When someone like me goes, oh, yeah, the cost of comparison, like everyone's doing better than me because it's public knowledge. They're like, I know, money and I'm pretty good at it, and I've bought property and you know, I'm good at investing, and I think lots of people look at me and go just got it together. Thank you for that.
I would like to keep that aura up that I'm really good at money.
But there's always someone doing better, right, Like, it doesn't matter what good position you get into, there's always going to be someone doing better, someone doing more, someone that you can compare yourself with. So I think we need to contextualize it in that way because it's ridiculous totally.
Why aren't we just comparing ourselves to past us? Like hey, Beck, you know what twelve months ago, past you wouldn't have even been comfortable having this conversation and you go, oh yeah, Actually, Like if we think back to when you started on the podcast, you were like, oh, I've never invested, and now you're like, yeah, so my goal this year probably going to invest, Like I've been looking at this and this, and you know you're talking about ETFs like you know what.
They are now? Like do you know what I mean?
So like, let's compare to past us, not future us, or you know what we could have been or the missed opportunities, and I think you know, everybody to some degree goes through this, and that's why we obviously have to talk about it in more depth today because to me, the cost of comparison culture links so closely to our mental health but also our finances, and to me, those two things are incredibly important to talk about.
So we're here now.
I completely agree that that's a really good way to look at it. Actually, compare yourself to your past self. Unless your past self was thriving, then compare yourself to I don't know, but.
Also look at that you did it like even if they were thriving. Like Beck, you've done it before, you can do it again. We can get back there, like everyone falls off the bandwagon at some point with something totally that's so true, but our community are gritty. It means they get back up and try again.
Yeah.
Okay, So a little bit later in the episode, we will give you some tips to help combat comparison culture. But before that, let's talk about what it is and why it holds such a power over us.
Why are we like this fee?
I mean, firstly, let's talk about it from an evolutionary standpoint, right like innately with social little creatures, but some more than others, like you and I. But you and I and everyone alive today are basically descendants of a very long line of people who knew how to fit in with a pack, because that's what survival meant. And people didn't really survive if you couldn't get into the pack or if you were, you know, ostracized from the pack. So I think it's really important to keep in mind
that we are a pack community at heart. And now you look at the world and go, I don't even know my neighbors, Like it's a very strange juxtaposition, Like there's all these quotes about you know, it takes a village to raise a child, and like you look at it now and be like, I'm on the village talking to my child, Like I'm not even gonna put them on the internet, do you know what I mean? Like the world is such a different place. But innately, we are pack animals and we thrive when people around.
Us are thriving.
We kind of look to each other to get a sense of ourselves as well and where we should be in life. And so historically, if we're in a pack, everything was kind of like shared. Did you get a piece of the animal that we just killed. Yep, great, did you great? Like we don't have different collections of
stuff when you live in a pack. You don't have a house, you don't have you know, a car or something more shiny, because the idea was always to you know, contribute to the greater good and you know, essentially like we only just wanted to survive and that's where we've
come from. But we're not in survival mode anymore. And I think it's normal to compare ourselves, but it's also something that we have to be really careful of because I think immediately, because of this pack culture mentality, you go, well, if their casa, I probably should have it m hm, and immediately like, that's that pack culture overshadowing the way that you're feeling, when in reality, we're now all our own little packs and we're running our own races and
we have different things to say. And I mean, I don't think it's about just ignoring other people, right, but I do think it's about checking in with our personal values and not trying to keep up with the Joneses next door because you don't know how much debt they're in, and just keeping things sustainable for ourselves because yes, times have changed, and yes you do want to compare yourself, but like that doesn't mean it's constructive.
Even though you go, oh, well, you know.
If I compare myself to Beck, I'll become a better person, you go, well, not really, like I'm really sorry, but you might manifest yourself into Beck and then realize that Beck had different values than you did, completely and you're on a completely different life trajectory than you actually wanted to be, right.
Yeah, because we are social creatures and it's a good like way to figure out like oh am I tracking? Or am I developing? Or am I where I should be? Let me have a look at people my own a end.
Also where do you want to be?
Because like, if you look for people your own age, like are they doing exactly what you want to do?
That's the thing.
They're not doing exactly what I want to do. The things that make me happy mean that my life isn't going to look exactly like that.
I agree, all right, so I've gone.
Full hippie dippy.
A couple of weeks ago, we had our team retreat and I went away and I was like working with our internal team, so you didn't get a guernsey. I'm really sorry because it turns out you don't work for me full time yet. But I will continue to rally
and basically bully you into it at some point. But I want to do a really quick exercise, and we were all about exercises on retreat, and I want us to each share three things that we love that we value really highly, that I guess motivates us to live our best life or our favorite parts of our life, and then explain, why would you prefer if I went first? Or would you like to go first?
Maybe you go first? And shine you shy shine.
Okay, So I have three things that I've written down, and I'm going to put you more on the spot because I didn't prep you. But minor like lame things, all right, So first thing. First, we know that I adore my morning coffee with my husband Steve and my dog. I feel like I wake up in the morning and it's just like I'm so happy to get out of
bed at six am. And on the days that my husband has to go to work early, we literally prioritize getting up even earlier so that we don't miss that part of our day.
To get that is very early, and I'm impressed.
But that's what's a value to me. And I'm also mentioning it because I just.
Know I couldn't drag your sorry butt out of bed to go on a five k walk every morning and get a coffee with the dog.
You'd be like, have fun, guys, I'll be waiting here for when you get.
Back, right, I could think of a million things I'd feel it to me.
That sets my day up, and like, I had to be up at like four thirty this morning, right, a whole people of work to do. I had really early interviews with the US and like, I'm so grateful for that, but that was one thing that I missed because I'm.
Not getting up earlier than four thirty to go for a walk with my husband.
In fact, yeah, I think if i'd that to him, he would be like, all right, that's where I draw the line.
Yeah, may as well not go to bed.
Yeah, Like we're just not doing that, Victoria anyway. So I think that's it. I love speaking at events and in front of people, like I love big crowds of people who are all on the same page, like I adore ow she's on the money events. I really love connecting with such a big group of people, knowing that the content that I'm sharing has an impact. And I kind of know that if I said, Hey, Beck, so we're going to do an event, you'd be like, have fun, I'm not coming. And if I said, hey, Beck, do
you want to go on stage? Like there's six hundred people at this event, Like, what would you say?
Look, it depends what we're talking about. I don't mind a bit of I don't mind being the set of attention, but in these kind of situations probably not. I'd probably say I will sit in the crowd.
I'm just remembering back to when we won like the Podcast of the Year award and I was like.
Come up back, and you just stood there frozen and you were like.
No, I got so scared, which is so fine, but like so different. And then third, I like just hanging out on my own on the couch with my husband sometimes if he's allowed.
I always want my pets there.
Sometimes I even want my husband to bug off and leave me alone so I can watch maths or like the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and not be interrupted. And I enjoy that, but I prefer that time sometimes above and beyond going out and socializing with my friends. Yeah, like I will literally say to them, sorry, I don't have the social battery, like I don't want to come out, and they respect it. That's fine, it's not a bad thing. But I also know that's something you would never do.
Like if I said to you, hey, Beck, do you want to go out? Do you want to sit home on your own and watch a TV series? You'd be like, why would I sit home on my own?
Exactly? You know me too.
Well, I've picked these strategically, But now I want you to share three things that you maybe thought about while I was talking about that, that you know you love and you highly value.
What do you reckon they are?
I did absorb all of that then just so happened to think of my own three at the same time. I promise, I was promise, I was listening. Okay, So obviously, as you know, I love rolling the grass.
I love being.
Rolling in the grass. That's what you got from it.
Yeah, basically, And I know it's gonna sound very different at six am, not six am ideally, but I like rolling the grass, I like listening to I guess it's like kind of like a meditation, being in the grass, filling the grass.
Listening to the sounds around me, and just being ever present.
You know, I love to be present. I've got to do that several times a week. Otherwise Where am I? Where's my head at?
You know?
I always want to be where I am. That's one thing that I really value. The second one is I know this might come as a surprise, but I do like an early morning gym session.
Oh absolutely not. That sounds terrible to me.
I mean, obviously in the moment, I hate it.
What's an early morning gan session to you?
Though? So like six thirty, No, four am, it's like seven. Oh, that's good, but that's still early morning to a lot of people. Still early morning to a lot of people.
But I just feel like I need to get out of the ways so I can then enjoy joy what is to come.
And we never know what that is, and that's.
Which gives me such anxiety.
We're talking about this the other day and I can't remember if it was on Mike or off Mike, but basically Beck said, oh, no, I never know what I'm doing after work, And I was like, sorry, what, like, you don't know what you're doing? After work and you're like, nah, like I'll just see what my friends text me what
they're up to. And I was like, oh no, Like after work, I know, like my plan and I will be going home and I will be cooking dinner because I have an avocado that is going to go off and if I don't use that that will give me anxiety.
And you're like, what, let the avo go off?
Yeah, let the avo be. She wants to go off.
Let it go off.
But that is so true, and this is where we differ. That is actually surprisingly going to be my third one. So not making plans but always just going with the flow and having something to do is what brings me so much joy.
You know, I get it.
I feel like your phone is consistently going off with like hey, Beck, what are you.
Up to you after work?
And you'd be like, oh, not much, and then you're like at the pub straight after work with someone different every night, or like catching up for a pizza, Like you have the best social life.
When I sit back, I'm envious of it because I'm.
Like that's so wholesome, Like that's so nice, Like how nice would it be to have this consistent group of friends who just want your.
Attention, like, do you know what I mean? I know what you mean, But then I know if I put myself in your shoes, I'd be like, why are you guys so obsessed with me? Leave me alone. It's a work day.
On work days, we don't do socializing. I do want you to know, I don't have that many friends. It's just the same few that they we're all going out on their close friends.
But you know, if the case it like I live.
It's just me and live actually, but you think like, oh, that kind of life looks fun. But then if you were to live it, even for a few days a few weeks, you'd be like, ah, this actually is not bringing me any joy. And so sometimes it is just we're kind of like gravitating toward we actually love doing you know what I mean?
Yeah, I absolutely do.
And I feel like that's actually really cute list, which is like completely juxtaposing my list, which is like go on a walk in the morning with my dog and you're like, get in the bin. I really like speaking at events and you're like absolutely not. And then I'm like, oh my gosh. I also really just love being by
myself and you're like ill, David, get out. I want to ask, now, have you ever been scrolling through Instagram and felt like a little bit jealous or a little bit envs or even like a little bit insecure, like you're not enough at that moment. When you see someone that you follow showing off something, it could be like a friend or more obviously like an influencer, So it could be like them being on a trip or an outfit or whatever.
It is, like, I feel like, is that a thing?
It pains me to say, but yes, absolutely, And I think it's more so not so much influences going on big trips, but it's like if I see friends going out to big things like doing stuff, I'm like, I want to be friends with you, and I feel sad that we're not friends.
How do I make this happen? Anyway?
You message them and you just go, hey, pal, want to be friends because like you're real cool.
If you slid into my damns, I'd be like, Beg wants to be my friend?
Yes, queen, I'll try that, all right, Well we can be friends now, Okay?
Winner sick, but I guess I do this as well.
I feel like TikTok's worse for me because it's like video content. I feel like it's more interactive. And also I'm really impulsive, but I see people with things and I go, oh, I'd love that handbag, or I'd love that top, or I'd do this or do that. And I find myself either clicking their like link in bios and finding out where it's from and you know, putting it on a wish list, or even worse like actually purchasing it immediately without putting twenty four hours between me and my spending.
Or I just get this.
Idea in my head that that's something I need, yeah, and it's like it's not. And I just look at it and go, even this influencer, they probably don't even care about that product. It could have just been sent to them. And I find myself consistently comparing but also just feeling really overwhelmed by it and going, well, why do I want that?
Like?
And sometimes it'll be late, late at night and I've made this little wish list, and then the next day I am at work and I'm like, oh, I better open my notes app and you know, just drop something down really quickly, and I see something and I go, why is that in there, like why did I have in my head in that moment that that was something I absolutely needed? And I think, you know, obviously we are really different, and what motivates us and excites us and how we get our energy is going to be
really different. Let's say that you and I are both on the journey to buying a new car, but our path to that or what makes that look likely for us is going to be really different. Like your values to begin with about what car, and your savings patterns and your plans and you know what you're going to use your car for are going to be very very
different to mine. And I think that our obsession with social media makes us feel this more acutely, like the danger of comparing ourselves to others is that I guess comparisons are never fair.
You never see the full picture.
Right, Like the amount of times I have been sent posts by my girlfriends being like, oh my god, this bag is so cute that that influencer has and I will reply and be like, yep, they probably got sent it, or it was probably free, like there's no way that they would pay five thousand dollars for that. They are just promoting it, or oh this car is really cool. I can't believe she achieved that. And I'm like, yep, that's in brand new car with a big red bowl
on it and looks fantastic. But like, I'm pretty sure that would be all financed, Like that's gonna be on debt. There's no way that she's buying a sixty thousand dollar car in cash. Like you know, you think back at twelve months and I go, no, that doesn't make sense for their financial situation. But we don't have that light in those moments. You only see like the highlights reel. I suppose, and while every single one of us is unique and you know, things happen and it might not
be true. I think by comparing ourselves to the journey of others, we're really negating our own road, and we're demanding that the past be different to what it actually is. Instead of honoring who we were and honoring past us and you know, stepping up and being that human being that passed us needs us to be, we're just putting
ourselves behind. And the demand we place on ourselves to be like those people that we actually compare ourselves to might actually be motivation for change, and that could be a good thing, but like.
Why are you changing?
Is this actually leading to more feelings of like diminished self worth when you're trying to be somebody else instead of just who you were meant to be?
Yes?
So true? Like, oh it makes me very angry.
Yeah, that's fair, especially when I see people and they're comparing themselves. It's less about me and more about like, I hate that other people go through this because.
I know what that looks like.
Yeah, like I still do it, don't get me wrong, but I feel like I might have stepped a little bit beyond that. But then I can also really see that happening to my friends, or that happening to other people around me and or people in our community, and.
I go, stop it, Like, you're perfect the way that you are.
Yes, We're all where we're meant to be right here.
Isn't that get my phone case? What does it say?
You're exactly where you need to be.
I love that.
Yeah, And I think it's really important to consistently remind yourself of that, because you are exactly where you need to be, whether it feels that way or not. Like you know how many times you felt I'm not meant to be here like this is the worst ever, and then something around the corner happens and you go, that makes sense as to why I was in that position or that mental space or whatever it was, so I could appreciate this totally.
I do also just want to say that this is a very privileged way to think. Sometimes we are not always in a really good or safe or healthy place, and to say like we are where we need to be. It doesn't necessarily fit every single mold, but however, still I feel like the entire message of this episode is still relevant to those people as well, but.
I think embracing it for change is important. If you're in a really shitty position right now, Let's be honest, I don't want you to be there, you know. If we can reframe it and go all right, well, we want to get you out of that. This is going to be a pivotal point in your life that I know at some point you're not going to say I really wish that that never happened. You're going to that
was really shitty. It was never a nice time, but it's made me who I am today like and I think that we were to pivot our mindset as well and go you know what people say, there's so many awful things that happen in the world, right, and like, I would never say that blanket about everything, but I think if you can even change your mindset, that is going to help you get to a better place faster.
Completely agree. V.
I remember last year we're talking about keeping up with the Joneses, and we had some stats on what privilege looks like on a global stage.
So this is good.
I know where you're going with this.
Yes, you mind, if you're just gonna you're just gonna like humble us go yeah.
I mean, basically, we found that if you have a roof of your head, three meals a day, access to running water, and you make more than forty thousand dollars a year, you are in the top one percent of the world in terms of the median annual household income.
Isn't that insane?
It is?
And so many times we're like, ah, I'm broke, I'm this, I'm that. No, you're not.
I hate when people use those terms of reference when they're not. If you're actually broke, you can talk about it. I want to hear it. I want to help you. I want to be on that journey I do not want to hear people saying I'm broke, knowing full well they have ten thousand dollars in their savings account for an emergency fund. Like that just makes me so frustrated because it takes away from the gravity of that situation. Like, if you are broke, that's really friggin' hart Like Beck,
you've been there, it's overwhelming. It must be frustrating when other people come along and go, yeah, me too, and you're like, hmmm.
It's a bit different though in it, Like it is.
A bit funny when I'm like, oh, I've got literally seven dollars to payday and people are like, oh, same, I don't want to dip into my savings. I'm like, ah see, see that's where we differ my friends exactly.
I want exactly what does that mean?
Yeah, So we found during that research that the world median household income was nine thousand, seven hundred and thirty three dollars.
Wow.
Okay, okay, that's I mean good and bad. But it just puts in context as well that when we're talking about this, Oh my god, did you see on social media such and such got a handbag or I've been thinking about a new car and you know, ha ha, I'm broke. I have seven dollars in my account, but like, I just really don't want to dip into my savings. Like that is so privileged. And it's okay, I'm not
calling you out. Keep doing it, It's fine. But I think we also need to step back and go, how flipping lucky are we to live in a country where you know, at the end of the day, Beck, if you broke your leg, we could fix it for free.
That's not going to financially impact you.
Like you are in a world that supports you, and that's not a privilege that is extended to the entire population of this world.
I think we're really.
Lucky, totally grievy. We were like discussing before how different we kind of all are. Would be fair to say too, that we'd all have different levels of comfort when it comes to like being in debt and one.
Hundred percent, And I think it really plays into your education levels as well, right, Like you've been in debt. I have been in debt, and at the time that I got in debt, I hadn't no idea what that really meant. I feel like I had some blinkers on, and I was kind of like, well, this will be fine. I was paid off, right, I'm sure that when you
were doing it you were like, is this fine? Like I'll work it out later, right, Like, you just don't go into it going this could impact my entire life, because if I had sat you down and said at the time, heyback, so the decisions that you're making, they're really gonna if you up, yeah, it's going to put you in a really shitty position.
I don't think you would have consented.
I think you would have been like, hold up, hold up, hold up, No, I don't want whatever you're talking about.
You thank you, like, and I mean, sometimes it's.
Completely unavoidable, right, Like, I know you've shared a lot of your debt journey on here, and it's not as though you were just frivolous and went and spent a whole heap of money on designer shit that you didn't need. That wasn't your story, like yours was out of genuine need. But even out of genuine need, you didn't have the level of financial literacy to go, well, actually, how could
I structure this? Maybe I could X, Y and Z, Like you just didn't have that, So I think you never really know what's going on for so you cannot judge their situation.
And when we say, oh, what's your risk to taking on debt?
Like I am at current in more debt than I have ever been in my entire life, beck, and I am so grateful. I am because it is good debt, Like it's for mortgages for the properties that I own, and I am so grateful for that. But that is a very different, very educated decision. And I remember getting those mortgages and being so scared of getting them because
it was so much to undertake. But on the flip side, I was not fearful at all when I took on forty plus thousand dollars worth of personal debt, which was actually even more detrimental to my financial wellbeing. So like I just didn't know what I didn't know, and you wouldn't either, Yes, And I guess you've got no idea what somebody else's financial situation or financial literacy levels are.
Maybe they're in epic amounts of debt, but that's like really normal to them, and they actually grew up in a debt cycle, so they actually fear really comfy with that I'm just happy with what's going on. Does that mean that's going to be okay for you? Well, maybe it is, but likely it's not. And I think that that's where you need to go. Well, your journey is not my jooney, and that's actually a really beautiful thing.
Yeah, I completely agree. This kind of reminds me. Do you remember that old saying money doesn't buy happiness?
Yeah, I want to put that in the bin. I mean, yes, I completely agree. But you know what money does do. It brings some level of financial security, and you know what, it also can take it away. So I guess being in debt because you've bought too much stuff or made a decision that compromises yourself is not great. But I think that we need to remember that the saying money doesn't buy happiness. I've never heard someone who's broker in debt say.
That one hundred pece like I've.
Literally never heard it come out of the mouth of somebody who's financially struggling.
Yes, Ve, don't worry. Money doesn't buy happiness.
Can buy dinner, do what, it can buy electricity, it can pay your water bill, it can do so much.
And do you know what that does?
It takes stress off, and people who are less rest are happier.
Yeah.
So, like, I agree the old saying money doesn't buy happiness because it's not about the fancy things, it's about basic needs. There's a level I reckon where we need to all earn X and I mean this is scientifically proven. It's a household income of about eighty five thousand dollars total. And if you meet that more money doesn't contribute to higher levels of happiness. That makes sense if you are broke or in debt or financially struggling, I'd be pretty happy to find fifty bucks on the ground.
Yeap, I completely agree. At the very least, it will take away your anxiety, leaving space for happiness exactly. But V, I think this is a really good time to go to a really quick break. And on the flip side, we're gonna give you some tips to help combat comparison culture.
I love this. Don't go anywhere.
Okay, we are back, and V, what can we do if comparison culture is breaking us and sending us broke?
There's heaps you can do. And I bet right now you're thinking, no, there's not the but there is. I've made a whole list.
We know how much I love a list, believe it when I see it.
All right, Well, take my little notes off me and I can have you read it out, all right. So, first thing I've written down is we really need to remind ourselves that our self worth is not based on our behaviors or what we have or don't have. Though it's quite all right to admire you know, your colleagues wardrobe or like Beck's brand isshoes, or a friend's job, our admiration should stop there, like, oh wow, they're nice, Beck, congrats, you must love them full stop.
End of story.
Once we cross into comparing our own wardrobe or our job to their job, we kind of enter a really dangerous zone that might actually result in us feeling.
Like trash about ourselves.
Yeah, like Beck has such nice shoes. Oh my shoes are not so good. I'm distilling it down really simply, And you might go via that such a stereotypical example, but I know you know what I mean, Like it could be anything I've then written down. We need to use those feelings of insecurity, anxiety, or jealousy to send it into ourselves and see what it is actually want like, why Beck, are you feeling like that? Often those feelings are there as triggers that make us want to change
something in ourselves deeply. It might be you're actually not very happy with your job and you need to look for a new job. It's not Beck's job that you want, in fact, like you probably won't even like it, Like you have such different values, Like if I am unhappy in my job, I might look at you Beck and go for ou do she loves her job? Maybe I should do what Beck does, Like she just looks so happy. What you need to do is spend a little bit more time with yourself and work out what that is. Like,
whatever it is, have a think about it. Because I promise you spending money to get into the same position as somebody else because you see their happiness, it's not going.
To change anything.
Sadly, next you're not going to be surprised with number three I've written down, celebrate your achievements. I think it's really important Beck to take time to appreciate your milestones, like not through social media, not through like posting a cute post or spending money, but like in a meanful way, in doing something that nourishes you. And you go, wow,
I'm really proud of that. It could be as silly as writing yourself a letter like write past you a letter of how proud you are of how far you've gotten. I promise when you sit down you feel like a bit of a nufty doing it, you'll be like, this is so lame. At the end of it, you'll be like, I'm so proud of me. Like you don't even have to show anyone. You could rip it up or burn it, like hide it.
Yeah, that's a really sweet idea.
The next is practice mindfulness. I think this is really important. You are really good at this, so maybe you've got some hot tips and tricks at some point for us on how to be more mindful. I mean your version of mindfulness is literally rolling around in grass listening to meditations. But like, I will take your tips because you're hella happy, and then I've written down implement healthier behaviors and boundaries
around social media. I genuinely believe that you should be unfollowing and muting things that make you feel bad or that you see and you just get a pang of anxiety or guilt. Yeah, hmm, this is probably not something I want to say publicly, but I'm gonna do it anyway.
Oh yeah, I'm scared.
I have heaps of people that I follow that I have muted. Yeah, I don't want to unfollow you. I'm not rude, like I like you as a human being. Don't want to see stuff. Yeah, it just doesn't help me live my best life. I always feel not amazing about seeing it, or it annoys me or something. Sure, the mute functionality is great. Don't have to tell you I unfollowed you. No one knows.
Yeah, I love that.
Now people that I follow are going to be like, is that me?
Probably? But people are monetizing your attention, Beck, that is worth something, whether it's on social media or if it's on TV. So I think that we really need to make sure that they're working hard for your money and making you feel good, inspired and super motivated. And then I guess the last thing I do want to add in there, Beck, We touched on it before is privilege obviously, but if you're in financial trouble, speak to someone like, raise your hand like it is not embarrassing.
You are not behind.
Your financial position does not dictate whether you are a good or a bad human being.
Some of my.
Favorite people in this entire world are broke as hell, and some of the people that I have met through my journey as an ex financial advisor to ultra wealthy people give me the biggest stick in the entire world. Your personality and who you are as a human being is not made up by money, is not made up by how wealthy you are, how much money you've got in the bank, or how good you are with it.
It's actually who you are as a human being.
And I think so often we tie our self worth to our net worth, yes, and that makes no sense. Like have you ever looked at someone and be like, they earn fifty thousand dollars.
They look like they've got fifteen k in the bank. I want to be their friends?
Yeah, no one does that, right, Like, I want to be friends with you because you're cool, and you're kind, and you're nice, you're kind of funny.
Like totally, that's what I.
Want to surround myself with.
And I think that if you're in financial trouble, it is so easy to bury your head in the sands because you feel like it's a reflection of you, and it's not.
It's just a situation.
You've found yourself in, Like, you're not debt, you're just someone experiencing it and you can get out of it. That's cool, Like, let's work on that. So speak to your banks, consolidate your debts. Call the National Debt Helpline, who we talk about all the time and we adore. But I think it's just it's so important to remember that is not a reflection of who you are, and Beck, this has been you before. Would you recommend reaching out for help?
Yeah, definitely. And it's like a good thing to remember that the person you're speaking to, the people that you're reaching out to, have probably seen this before, if not worse situations. It's just whatever, isn't it. It's just money. At the end of the day. It's so easy to get into debt, so easy to get out of debt. It's not so easy to get out of debt, but it's easy to start making a change exactly.
And I think that you raise a really good point.
I think sometimes when we're like, oh my god, I have to call the National Debt Helpline, No, I'm not picking up the phone. Like most of those people work at the National Debt Hopeline because they've been impacted by that before, so they get it properly. You're not calling a CEO of the bank and being like, Hi, you're a millionaire, and like I just don't understand. You're calling someone who's wildly passionate about getting people out of debt.
Yeah, exactly, let them go away, let them help you. But any last points to end the show.
I guess something else and is the stereotypical victoria divine quota.
It's just babes.
You do you like, there is nobody quite like you, with your background and your experience and your hopes and your dreams. Just have a think back about our Monday episodes, Like everyone is so different, and that's what makes.
It so beautiful.
Like if we're all cookie cutter in the same like I'm not going to learn from your experience, like our money direst section of the podcast, I'm sorry today's episode that's my favorite because you get to know people on this deep level and they share their experiences so that we can be richer for it physically and like mentally. But I think really understanding that your journey is uniquely yours and it doesn't matter what the heck anybody else
is doing, completely agree. There's something really sexy about somebody who just knows who they are.
Yeah, if they're like I don't need that, you go, wow, I wish I had that conviction.
Yeah, I completely agree. I aspire to be like that. That's the only comparison I'll be doing today. But I think this is a really good place to leave it for now. Let's go have a little tea.
I love a little tea.
Sit in the grass, Sit in the grass. Teach me how to meditate, Yes, if I can do that, but like I'm willing to try.
Everyone can have a good week.
Guys. We will see you on Friday.
Bye, guys.
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