Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Order
Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it.
She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money Podcast, Millennials who want financial freedom. My friends, today is Friday. I bet you didn't see this coming, but it is time to get my little team together and celebrate you our incredible She's on the Money community. Miss Jess Gorici is going to be sharing our favorite money wins and telling us about her thirtieth birthday. Miss Bechsayed has a number of broke tips for us which I cannot wait to
get to. We also have a juicy money dilemma this week, which is all about whether you're liable if your partner owes tax, which I think is an interesting conundrum. I love talking about partner debt. And then we have a juicy little DM that you slid into our messages about this week. We're talking about contributing to shared funds when you're on Matt leave and your partner is full time, which I feel like can also be really juicy. I'm excited.
But before we get there, my loves, how are your weeks specifically, Jessica, How are your thirties treating you?
Oh? My god, great, I have been here for all of twelve hours.
Twelve hours of thirty. It feel old? Excuse me? Were this offly? And I am older than you? And sorry? Do you know what I really liked when I was like, yes, I'm older than you. Just was like, oh, you're only a year older. And I was like, I'm not though I'm much older, but let's go with that.
It's very flattering.
And I was like, thanks, thanks, thanks, you just give youthful fat. You know I'm immature. Yeah, I think that's what they might.
Yeah, but it's been good. Nothing crazy, as you said. I think when it was your birthday, like a week ago. As year older, I think birthdays become like less of a big thing, and I think I don't know, it was weird. I was in two minds. I was like, this is like a huge birthday, and then part of me was like, oh, I just want to let it like roll. So I was kind of like speaking to the middle old Yeah, like it's just somewhere in the middle,
you know. But it's been really good. I came in, I got lots of birthday love, I got my face photoshopped onto a sign.
What more could I ask for from you? But truly not anything more, Beck and I just use that as an excuse to make your birthday atout us to is also on that sign.
I love it.
I love other people's birthdays for this exact reason. I just like celebrating other people. It's just really fun. Yeah, And honestly, like I feel like once a year we get to really bask in the glory and just like
we hear from everyone that we care about. It's like it's a day where you can have all the attention on you and you can feel good about it, Like you don't have to feel bad about anything, not that you do anyway, But like I am just so happy to be able to celebrate you without it being weird like that, without it being weird. Yeah, although she comes into work every day justin she's like, I really wish
I could celebrate. Yes, yes, Ricky. Every day I wake up and think, oh my goodness, I'm so happy she's alive.
But today it's not weird to.
Stay say it out loud. I love that.
I love that.
It's incredible. That's not weird at all.
Apart from getting to celebrate, it's been the.
Best week ever. She got to tell you, how what you mean.
The best best week? I'm so happy that you're live.
No, my week has been yeah, Rutchull you know it's actually also it's a fair.
While away, nearly your birthday.
Two is nearly my birthday. And usually I say July is like the whole of July's yeah birthday. It is your birthday. Yep, but I yes, I kind of have to share it with both of you now, like you're like thirtieth of June.
Yeah, our team is like all cancers. There's so many of us concentrated Corris this month as well.
Is it actually and Brook is also a cancrian? Yes, yeah, Mike is I feel like you can't work here unless you're a Cancrian. I'm Leo actually, But do you know what that tells me? I do not know that much about the star science, which do you know what? Probably a flex?
Yeah, no, that's true.
It's very telling you don't want to know too much about star signs. You kind of want to be on the cusp, you dabble, I know. So I've really been into dating shows recently and just like watching dating shows
on like Netflix and stuff. And we've been watching a dating show on Netflix at the moment, and like we've started a new season, and I just knew it was going to be a good season when like two of the girls they were like, Hi, I'm Jess and I'm the Cancerrian, and I was just like, this is gonna be So you just know that when they introduced themselves by this star sign, they're letting a lot of their bad behavior go like well.
I'm cancerrious.
Really rude because of my star sign.
Do you remember when Abby Chatfield was on the Batch and she got done so dirty because she was astronomer and he like they came on, they were talking about what they did and she's like, what are you doing. He's like, I'm an astronomer and she was like, amazing, I'm a cancer or like whatever or whatever.
She said yeah, and she was like making.
A joke and trying to be funny, but they made her look so dirty.
But really it's so clever, Like that's such a funny, Like I would never have made that joke. It wouldn't have come to me fast enough. And she's so sweaty. She is so witty. It does my head in how smart that woman is, Like do you guys know she has a master's degree as well? That doesn't so proud, doesn't It doesn't. Well, she is very very smart.
It makes sense.
I just feel like they did her a dirty with that edit. But like low key, that was really funny.
It was hilarious.
It was amazing, It was really funny. I'm not going to go into this too much because I know that we have a whole episode to do, but they do make really pretty girls on like well any kind of girl. They always make them look like the dumb bimbo. But like, if you're smart, you're smart, doesn't matter what gender you are,
you just you're smart. And she's really smart. Anyway, I didn't like that at also thank you for I Love You, but we're going to move on from our Abby fan club because it's actually meant to be a Jess fan club, so it's always going to come back to That's so great. It's also Jess's birthday, which I think is a good, good theme of this episode. But I want to jump in because Jess. This week we have a number of really good money with What are they?
Do you want to start at the top absolutely. Firstly this week, I've got one from Jade who said money win. I purchased a cookbook that's called ten Dollars Meals, and using it has significantly reduced my grocery bill. She said, it's almost been halved because all the recipes in this book are ten dollars a under the cook which I thought was very cool.
I love that. Is it still relevant or is this like a little bit of a Curtis Stone moment where he used to be able to do the ten dollar meals with the supermarket and now it's like, oh, the block of cheese is ten dollars.
Oh my god, depressing. I mean I love that, though, Yeah, half her grocery bills. I'm assuming it's at least helping. It's actually working a money win. She called Curdis Stone let him know we could go back into business. Have a look at the book, Curtis, maybe'll help you out. Next, I've got a money win from Sheridan who said she got a free ticket to Missy Higgins on the weis yet.
Oh my gosh, I saw that money win. How does it feel to lift my dream? Incredible?
I didn't even know miss Higgins was touring, and seeing the name just took me, like right back to being twelve years old.
I remember, were you here? I don't know if you were here, but you got tickets and I was like, why didn't you tell me?
No, I don't think I was here for that. It's for them.
But also, Missy Higgins defined this won't be relevant to you because you're a child beck, but it didn't find my grade nine experience. I feel like all of your songs, yeah, like I just be's like I wasn't born yet, but I just I'm a test. You're older than me. Yeah, baby, you are your baby. You're all babies. The vibe is I'm just a babier.
We're all just babies.
Actually, at the end of the day, just a little we're.
All just doing life for the first time. Behind.
Oh my god, that's so true. Put it on a T shirt Salibate's merch. Next, I've got money in from Kalise, who said she went to Freedom to look at shears for her new home and she found a dresser that she'd wanted for years that is now sold out for two hundred and ninety nine dollars. It was originally fifteen hundred. Oh my god, it was old floor stock. It's in perfect condition, and I wanted to give it a shout out because I'm really jealous because I've always wanted this
dresser and a picture. Yeah, well you see called the Raffles dresser from Freedom. It's got a cute return yeah, very website. Yeah, so absolutely well done from you, colle.
You can see why we have bought it, because fifteen hundred dollars for a dresser feels like a lot.
Three hundred bucks, so money win.
That is a very good money win. Because also if she decides that she doesn't like it, Galise can stick it on Facebook market play make a problem exactly. You can stick it on Facebook market place for five hundred bucks and people would think that's a bargain.
Absolutely completely. Next, I've got a money win from Jackie who said she got an email from Hoints today offering her a one dollar movie ticket that comes with.
A free small popcorn.
Well, thank you.
Don't know how we get on that lead. That is incredible if anyone works on hots and knows how to sort that out.
You can't even popcorn these days for a dollar.
And they've shrunk the sizes and a lot of places too. We went to a cineer the other day and I was like, James grabbed the popcorn and I was like, oh no, I want a large, and he's.
Like, that is a large asilation a drink with ten bucks.
I nearly died.
Do you know how hand doors for a drink?
Yeah?
No, no, no, And it would have been just post piccorn. Yeah, it would have been post mixed. There's not even a free bottle post so I stand post mix. Like my favorite type of coke is McDonald's coke. Oh yeah, like a crispy McDonald's coke zero.
It's different really, like nothing else.
Like nothing else. I don't know why, but we also know on this show. If you've been a long time listen that you know how obsessed Jess is with movie popcorn? But do you know Jess has been known to order movie popcorn or uber eats.
I think you do you want to go to the cinema.
I have done that because they have a cinema.
My local cinema closed a while ago, and so I can't uberets it anymore, and so I do occasionally just pop into a different cinema and take it to go.
You take the popcorn to go.
It's always quite embarrassing because I get in the line, they go, do you want a ticket? And I go no, And you know they might assume that I've bought a ticket online. They give me the popcorn, and then instead of going right into the cinema, I just do it hang a left shop.
Literally, I can picture the person there that's like waiting to like rip your ticket. Watch you walk straight and then go sharp left out back into the car. Where's she going? She doesn't want to see a movie. Little do they know you were never going to see I'm.
Watching a movie and at home, babe, it's so much cheaper. Next, I've got a money in from Jessica excellent name who said she paid off her zip pay with her tax return.
Oh, money win and very good use of your.
Tax I can completely agree. If you've got debt and you've got a tax coming in, maybe think about allocating it there because I feel like that's a very good use of it. And then lastly, I've got a money in from Lauren, who I feel like we'll all appreciate. She said she's just realized her kids daycare makes free coffees for parents ont drop off. WHOA, I'm sorry, what is that incredible stuff?
Harvey? Are you going to go to daycare soon?
Because I like that that's a prerequisite now and I wonder they fact checked if you're a parent try do you know if there is mine?
Do you know what I can't with you too? Do you know what's weirder than going to the movies and getting popcorn without seeing the movies is going to a dayare for the coffee ar when you don't have kids? Okay, I see, I love this for us. I would like to move off this if you ever want to do daycare drop off in the future. For Harvey, though, you let me know to be really appreciated. But Beck, what
broke tips have you got for us? This week. Okay, so I actually really the community came through this week. You didn't steal your girlfriend's home work, did you. I didn't steal my girlfriend's ideas this time around. So the first one I have comes from this is looking really bad. But the person in our community, her name is Jess.
Sure, Jeez, name is Jess?
Does she happen to work for?
Are not this one?
Not this one?
I promise you, Jess, you know that I'm talking about you, and I really appreciate you. So Jess suggested, And I guess this is like if you maybe if you own your own home, but I'm sure also if you rent, you do have the ab ablity to do this. I guess it's also if you have like a big, you know, plot of land, but you just happen to have land, you might not be broken. But basically, Jess said that housing chickens were either like in a little coop or whatever,
just owning chickens of some kind. I'm sure you don't need like a big bit of land like I feel like I could do that. I'm married. My boyfriend's mom has the inn back out. Yeah, and it's not like it doesn't have to be a big plot of land.
I'm sorry, I don't like that.
I feel like hold on, so the broke tip this week have a big plot of land and get some chickens, own a home and then have a big plot of land. How relatable. I love this, Just really cute, Jess. They're just really cute. No, but you do get obviously free a I'm not sure how it works, like if you need a hen as well, but chickens.
I genuinely don't know how that works.
But hens lay eggs. Roosters do not. Okay, so what I have one of one all the other I don't really understand. But you do get free eggs, which is also obviously amazing, and trying to move only have to buy food for them and up keep them instead of buying real eggs. No, this is the thing that just
said that actually feeding them is really really cheap. You can you know, my best friend live who I talk about, her family have chickens and we literally just give the chickens else are left over anything like whatever we've got.
There see a lot of organic produce.
So when they eat them very in your garden, they do, and it's very very cheap to upkeep. And then if you move the coop every few years and you get like a big thing of compost. Like it's just like it's all about like regeneration and eggs and I don't know, it just sounds a wholesome and I love this. Keep them in small spaces, and like I would like to just claim that you don't need to own a big plot land to have some chickens. You can actually just
chuck them in your backyard. They're really good pets because they're actually really affectionate and they're great.
They're great for kids, right because I know one of my friends is a kind of teacher and they have they do chickens every year, but then they go to a loving home. They don't go anywhere they shouldn't be going. They go to a loving home at the end of the year. But they're good for like teaching kids about like the circle of life.
Kind.
Yeah, I really sharing for a pet because they're pretty low maintenance.
And growing up, my grandparents had a big farm in Tazzy and I was taught once how to pick up the chickens when I would have been like four or five, And that was a really bad thing to teach me because all I do is pick up chicken, no fear at all. I just go in and grab a chalk and be like we're going, We're going.
They're kind of like cats because they loaf.
I yeah, they do. They do the loaf and you just like cuddle them. They're very affectionate. I like that. I think it's a fun to get chickens. Summary of that story, but not a big plot of land because turns out it's actually not that easy. That's right. You don't need all those things that I mentioned, So actually you don't forget that, but you do just I don't know, maybe you need a backyard, I guess at least. Yeah, like probably don't keep them in your bedroom.
Yeah.
Maybe a second tip. The second one comes from Maddie who sent me real that was it's actually by the money mum, and she says that cleaning supplies are usually a lot cheaper buttings, if not like half price, sometimes half the price of woolwors and goals and things like that. Your dish washing tablets, yeah, just you know, your general cleaning supplies. No, I can't think of any right now. It's very clear that I don't do a lot of cleaning at home. Uh, anyway, that's the second. That's a
great tip. Jess and I are also really big fans. This is not sponsored at all of the Reject Shop. Like I signed, cleaning supplies so cheap at the Reject Shop that now I'm always getting like my dish washing tablets and my laundry liquid and stuff like that there because I'm shocked at how cheap it is. In comparison, they carry niche things like there's this one spray. If you have an air fry you know how hard those things are to clean. The one spray beat sell it cold,
so boring. It's really good content. This the good content.
Is this spray that cleans the air fryer really well. They stopped something that cold. It was really sad, and then I found it at the reject Shop and it was cheaper than its coals.
And also just one time bought Christmas themed scrub daddies.
That's cute.
They do testive ones, which we love. It's just so grando. There is no one needs it, but you need it, you know, guys. The Windex is two dollars a bottle at the Reject Shop. Like riddle me that it's a constant living crisis just shopping the Regi Shop and Bunnings for all of your stuff everything. I love it. Audi like we are not no, sorry, we're worth coals. I mean, if you want to work with us, let us know. But we all know your dishwasher tablets are exorbitant. Sorry someone, Yeah,
they're actually outrageously expensive. So this next one, this is my one. It's more like Melbourne based, but I'm sure there's an equivalent in other cities in the States and territories. So there's a pub very close to my house. It's called The Emperor and they do wonderle hot Wings. I'm sure there's like you know, hot wings.
Yeah, they do one whole hot Wings.
I believe it's only on Mondays, but I know that there are other pubs in the area that also do that on like different days. So you just have a look around your area and see if your pub offers anything, you know, kind of like I feel like there's theme night, so smart a pub totally.
Yeah, there's usually like a specials. There's like Monday's, Tuesdays and Wednesdays they do steak night in these days.
I feel like you should only be buying it on like the pubs steak night definitely, definitely, And yeah, you can get really really cheap food stuffs from pubs, which I know, it's like, you know, it's obviously a lot of the time cheaper to cook your own food, but sometimes when it's like wondle hot wings, you like can't beat that.
And if you're like me, I can.
I really can do a fifteen bucket. But if I'm trying to be cheap, that's a lot of wings, a.
Lot of I will inhale those wings.
But no, it is a really I think just have a look at pubs around you, look at their specials things like that. But yeah, Wonderle hot Wings. I just think it's really great for this cost ofly in christ to go out and be able to still maybe affward to eat out with friends every now and then have a little date night or have like a girl's night out. Pick the night that works, like you don't just have to have a night out on a Friday or Saturday night.
Like we're all in our thirties now, so I feel like going out on a Tuesday, if I meet my friends after work, can still be home by eight. I love that some dollar hot wings. Jess is in sold easy.
I love this for you guys there next Monday.
All right, see you there. Let's go to a really quick break on the flip side. We're going to be talking about whether you're liable if your partner owes tax and we're also going to be diving into a little slippery DM that you asked us about, and that is about contributing to shared funds when you're on matleeve and your partners working full time. So guys, don't go anywhere.
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma? You just can't that. She's on the Money team is here to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hi, She's on the money. My partner and I have been together for four years. He makes significantly more than me, but we do keep our finances separate. I've been thinking more about my future and about property. As I'm nearing thirty, I just got a new job as a junior accountant thanks to the podcast. By the way, and on the topic of tax he made a comment that really threw me. He's sixteen years my senior, and he's never filed a tax return as a sole trader in his past, he
never paid himself super Ever. Since that comment, I've been planning my super around having enough for both of us in our future. But I'm worried that his tax history is going to negatively influence my hopes dreams of owning property. How worried should I be regarding his taxes? Is super and am I liable as a partner. I'd really appreciate your help on this one, and I love the podcast. I really respect you girls.
Thank you.
That was really sweet. Thank you so much. She's so thank you. That's really really kind. I'm sorry you're going through this because that would be really stressful. Short answer is no, you are not legally responsible for your partner's debt, whether you are married or not. You might be responsible for debt that you had applied for jointly, obviously that's not tax debt. And when you do your personal tax returns.
If you have a partner, it will ask you what your partner's tax return was or what their income was, and you do have to declare that. But that's not so that you take ownership for it. So I think tild that just family tax brackets and stuff like that. So like if we talk about like the Medicare levy surcharge and stuff like that, it's about household income, and often that needs to be calculate at like a family level as opposed to just an individual level. It doesn't
mean a lot. Often it's working out whether you're over a family tax bracket. So for example, if you want to claim the childcare subsidies, like a stay at home mum might not have any income when she does her tax return each year, and then the partner has a really really high income, which means that they don't get any of that, so it needs to be applied to her as well in case she lodges for their childcare subsidy. Does that make sense? So it's all about just tracking stuff,
it's not about allocating debt to you. I do think that there's a bigger problem there, and that is that he's never lodged a tax return and that can get you in a fair bit of trouble, but it is not that uncommon. So sadly, lots of people have been in this situation. And I feel like once you get a few years into I guess that mode, it becomes really overwhelming because you're like, well, I don't want to
talk to an accountant. They're going to judge me, they're going to XYZ or you know, I might be in trouble with the ATO. But the important thing here is to be the proactive one. So if you're the one going, hey, accountant, I haven't done this, they can clean it up and help you. It's not going to be as overwhelming or hard as you think it is. I mean, there might be some admin you need to do, but given it's what sixteen years or so, I mean that was the
age difference, not necessarily how many tax returns he hasn't submitted. However, I think it's really important you have a brand new accountant. Thanks to our matching program on She's on the Money, which is really cool if you want a new accountant, or a financial advisor or a mortgage broker. We do have a matching service on our website, but that's conversation for another day. But you could get him on that.
You could introduce your accountant if you really like them, and say all right, what can you do here, because it does need to be sorted out and you want to be the proactive one because the ATO is going to go a lot easier on you and go all right, well, let's get this processed, as opposed to them going, hey, our data matching is actually you know, pointed out that Joe Blow has never done a tax return. We need to track him down because he's on purpose evading tax.
That's a different story. Whereas if you go to them and be like, hey, really, sorry, I've never done it, really anxious, really this really that they're going to go all right, well, let's help you work through this and get to it. But also it's important to note that, yes, it might be lots and lots of years, but a lot of it's going to come out in the wash. It depends on how tax has been handled throughout the years,
whether he was paying it or not. But you know, you might have good years and you might have bad years. And so if you get it all together and you've got a good accountant that can like backtrack all of it. Hopefully it's not that much of a debt owing, but I definitely would be trying to calculate it because it can impact you. So while it might not be something that you have to pay back, it might stop you
from getting a home loan. It might stop you from, you know, getting personal debt together, if that's something you want to do. It might stop you, you know, from becoming a guarranteur, if you've got a kid that wants a property, Like, there are lots of things that it
can imp hacked. It doesn't mean that you're going to be in a heap of trouble personally, but I mean, if the ATO decides to come for you, and I'm not trying to be dramatical trying to scare you, but if the ATO comes for you and you have a joint house together, that's up for discussion. So it might not be you they're coming for, but because you have a joint asset and they're like, well we want our money, that might be up for discussion and you might miss
out that way. So I think it's really important to have that conversation and really urge your partner to go and get help with that and go, hey, this is something that is really serious and we can avoid a lot of the trouble if we just get onto it now. And I think that that's the best thing that we can do.
Arguably just a symptom also of like I think, you know, if you're two adults building a life together, you need to know that you can rely on the other person to take care of stuff that needs to be taken care of. So will I understand the anxiety and if you leave it for ages and whatever, that can be stressful.
I think if you said to your partner, hey, happy to help you, put your in touch with an accountant, support you whatever, and they still, you know, are hesitant to sort something like that out, I would be just a little bit concerned about what that kind of behavior says. I don't know, like not to make it to something that maybe isn't a huge deal but just could be
symptomatic of something. Yeah, exactly exactly right. And it's just I think like, if your partner is willing to help you sort through whatever, that is, like, I don't see a really good reason for you to not want to get that sorted. Yes, yeah, I mean, and.
An accountant is not going to be judgmental about it. They know that this happens. In fact, yeah, they've definitely seen worse, but like they also see that type of thing a couple of times a year, Like it's not the job.
Is to fix it.
Fore, Yeah, like that's literally what you're paying. Yeah, and I mean you can claim an accountant on your tax return as well, so you're going to have to pay the accountant. This actually isn't something at this point that you can sort out yourself. Even if you want to sort it out yourself, you actually need an accountant to laise between the atier when you because otherwise you're going to have a whole heap of really late things to pay.
And often if the accountant is you know, good with their words and good with their numbers and organizing stuff, they can often negotiate with the ATO on your behalf. And that's not something that you can usually do. So I would say this is like a non negotiable to get it sorted out by a professional, especially because it backdates so much and tax law has changed. As you know, most years we do an update and say, hey, you know, supernuation rates have changed, your tax rates have changed, like
all of those things need to be considered. And if you're not a tax specialist, I think that you'll end up in a bit of a pickle if you did it yourself. So I would definitely be getting help. But yeah, Jess, you're right. I think it's a bit of a red flag if they're not willing to take on help because it's like, well, you haven't done it yourself, and it
might be a hard conversation. And who knows, Maybe I'm reading into this too much, but I can just imagine it would be a hard conversation to have with a partner to begin with, but especially a partner that owns their own business and is sixteen years you're senior. Like I can just imagine that being, you know, don't tell me what to do. I don't know if that's the case or not, but I just go that should not be the case. But that would be a red flag.
Any Yeah, definitely a red flag if they that would be a really sort of power imbalance at all. Absolutely not, that's not that's the problem. But I just want to quickly say, so this is a bit different to like, and I guess like there are probably people listening who know this already, but just because I didn't know this until like literally six months ago. There was like a few years that I hadn't lodged a tax return, but
I had never worked for myself. So there's definitely a difference between having like years that you hadn't done your tax and you've never worked for yourself in this which is assuming his best statements that he hasn't done is a lot more. That's why I'm saying to go talk to a accountant, because I think that that's the best
place to start. It's also you know, a space where you can have a conversation where you're not talking directually to the ATO to make a plan to then go to the ATO, because it does need to be sorted out, but would be and I don't want to be too dramatic.
You know, Let's say, for example, Jess, who you know, earns a salary and then super working directly for me, I as her employer, pay her tax, so like if she hasn't submitted it, like it's probably gonna all come out in the wash and there shouldn't be any issues, Like I can't imagine Jess, you've got receipts from sixteen years ago you can claim. So you're probably just going
through and being like, I'm not claiming anything. I'm just declaring how much I made and seeing if I owed any tax, and it should come out in the wash. But like, if you haven't paid tax for sixteen years, like,
that's a way bigger problem that's gonna hatter. And again, I don't want to be scary, but this is something that needs to be dealt with because you know, if you then find out your partner has you know, potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt, that's going to change the trajectory of your wealth creation journey as a couple. Can I just ask one question? Of course you can do we know if say, for example, obviously touch wood.
Let's say something would happen is a tax debt passed on no, don't inherit debt in a str and, It gets taken, it gets taken from the estate. So what happens is let's say I passed away yesterday and I had a debt of one hundred thousand dollars. My executor of my will would work out what my assets are and they might say, Victoria, you own a house, you own a car, you own this that the other, and
they will say from your estate. You know, if I had cash, you need to pay off your debt before we can distribute any of your other assets to your family and friends, like you have outlined in your will, So it would be taken first. If there's no cash for me to pay off that debt, they would then say, okay, well we need to extinguish a property or get rid
of something to sell. So they might go, well, let's sell your car and let's sell your house and we'll get some cash, and then your family and friends can have the rest, and then we'll distribute it evenly. If there is nothing left over at the end, your family doesn't owe that money, the creditors that or the people that you owe money to, they just don't get paid back. It's not a good thing. But it's not your responsibility
to take on somebody else's debt in that circumstance. But that is a different story if it is a joint debt. So if you had a joint debt with somebody, so say something happens to me yesterday and Jess and I own property together, that debt would fall onto Jess and the mortgage repayments would become her mortgage repayments, and then it's up to her to decide whether you know, she
wants to continue paying my helf or not. And hopefully that's when my life insurance policy and any personal insurances I have come in to save the day, to make sure that Jess is not financially implicated by that. Does that make sense?
Totally makes sense.
So no, you won't inherit debt. In some other places in the world you can inherit debt, but it is not in Australia.
Cool, You're welcome.
You're welcome, all right. So I feel like that is a very sticky situation and it's one that needs to be rectified sooner rather than later. I don't have a lot more to say on that except if you need, you know, some additional help and guidance, we're obviously always here dm US and we can help send you in the right direction. As we said, it is not that uncommon.
So guys, are you ready? We have the community DMS and I feel like this one's gonna be a little bit relevant for a lot of people, whether you're going through it or planning to go through it. I kind of like that we get this advice before we might go through this. So our DM this week reads, HI, she's on the money. I've come off maternity leave early to work casually from home around bub I'm wanting to
save a percent. I was thinking around twenty percent in my personal savings before depositing the remainder into the joint bill's account. My partner thinks this is unfair, since he will be paying for a majority of everything now that my government payments have stopped, and I should be putting it all into this joint one. Am I wrong for wanting this? He's still able to save in his personal account while putting the bare minimum into the joint bill's account.
I'm regularly having to ask for tob ups to cover everything that aren't regular bills, for example, baby clothes and stuff like that. And if I want something like if I want to get my hair done, I have to ask for it. Before we had a baby, I was so financially independent, so I'm really struggling having to ask this. I don't feel like he is equal any advice. Oh, I hate this. I hate this so much, so much.
It feels very demeaning to have to be asking for money particularly for like, so things like baby clothes. To me, you're essentials, Like you have one hundred percent if you need to clothe your child. Yeah, Like if you're buying design a baby stuff, then okay, different story.
Yeah, but let's pretend for the sake of this conversation it's all just reasonable.
Purchases onesies or something, is what I'm assuming, in which case I like, that's not.
You do stand a target onesie?
Yeah, gorgeous, Like do you know me? Like you just need that? That's not to me, there's no question to join expense. And I think the other thing, and this is something that I've kind of reflected on a lot because, as you guys know, like my partner and I don't share our finances. We have a joint bills account and
that's it. And I just thinking about how when you are the prime, very caring parent and you're staying at home and presumably not working, how hard it must be to not be in that position where you have your own money anymore.
Yeah.
You know, some people obviously just have one big pool and you're like out all of our money is. And in that situation, I see how that would work. But if you are splitting it a different way or doing whatever, like it does seem quite like it seems like it would be hard to image, you know what I mean. And yes, I wouldn't want to go to my partner and be like, please, sir, can I get Oh my god, totally like that would make me feel wool, I know.
And these are conversations we should be having before we go on maternity leads, a conversation would be having before we even have a baby with someone. It's it's such a shame to think that you are with this person for so long and you're like, Okay, great, I think we're both ready to be parents, and then you have the baby and then you realize, oh, this person thinks I need to ask them for money to buy our
baby clothes. Anyway, I just think so many things. First of all, it feels so unfair, so your mind blowing. As I was reading, Oh I'm so angry, I could just see it. Yeah, it feels really really unfair, like to the core of my belly. Feels really unfair that this state at home mother is working twenty four seven. Let's not forget working twenty four to seven, never a mental break. Ever, I'm assuming if the partner comes home and is parenting as well, it's like, cool, we can
now share the load. But otherwise you really are working twenty four seven, and then you're also trying to squeeze in on top of that, working casually so that you just have a little bit more of money to play with, which is you're absolutely entitled to.
It.
Just it feels really unfair that one person is going out and making however much they made before the baby and still has the same freedom. I understand it's a little bit more tight now there's only one and a half income coming in. Income's coming in, but you are so entitled to what's it called equity? You know, it's like equity in a relationship. Yes, yes, yes, exactly. So I feel like that's it's just it just it feels the whole thing feels really really unfair, and I'm really
sorry that you're going through absolutely more than allowed. I would say, maybe tell your partner, hey, you stay at home, then maybe try and swap roles and see if your partner's okay with that, then you know what I mean. I just it just feel so unfair. I don't even really know how to articulate it. I just feel like it's shed.
There was such a good thread in the Facebook group a week and a half ago, maybe a little bit more, and it was a conversation around a stay at home parent, and again, like her husband in this scenario was the one working full time, she was staying at home, and it was another conversation around money, and somebody brought up the really great point that if the mum went back to work and worked full time so that she could contribute equally in the way that her partner was, the
cost of the house cleaner, the chef, the full time daycare, the cost to cover all of the labor that she was carrying at home would far exceed what she would then bring in and contribute quote unquote to that shared account. So it sounds like he's just not you know, he's going, oh, well, you need to contribute a similar amount to me or whatever. He's not accounting for any of that.
Totally.
Yeah. I have a few spicy opinions on this, but I think the first thing is we can learn a lot from this. DM. Yes, So I think this gives us the opportunity that if you're thinking about children with a partner, or maybe you don't even have a partner. You just know that this is a conversation you need to be having before you have kids, Like what does money look like once you have a child?
Like?
Am I going to have to ask you for cash if I'm not working? How will we mitigate that? Also, what a reasonable expense is for me to be having Walam or Matt Leeve? Like what does my lifestyle look like? Should I, you know, be allocating some cash to the side, because you know, I'm a mum man to be honest, like, as a new mum, who I'm not the primary care I mean I was for a number of weeks at the start, but now my husband is a stay at
home husband. For now I'm not the primary care. But I can't imagine my husband not getting out of the house and going and getting a coffee, Like he would go up the wall if he couldn't go for that walk and get a coffee and you know, not just talk baby all day until I got home? Right, So I think is that reasonable to talk about, you know, the coffees that you would have. You know, Jess is blonde.
If you're going to have a baby, Jess, is it expected that you'd be able to maintain, you know, your haircuts and maybe you go get nails, Like are these things that you know are reasonable? Or are these things that we're cutting? Also, what's your partner cutting? So like, I feel like so many times the conversation comes down to being like, yeah, we had to really tighten up the budget. And I'm seeing this on TikTok a lot,
and I'm not commenting or engaging in this. I'm just seeing a narrative where these women are starting to share their household budgets now they're on maternity leave, and I think that that is fantastic and so transparent and I adore it. I'm so pervy too, I just want to know everyone's budget. So I'm like holding it. I watch it on two time speed, like you best believe, watched every second of it. But what I'm noticing is they're like, yep, so we cut down the household budget. Like I'm not
getting nails. You know, I don't play netball anymore, so I don't have that fee.
Haha.
I can't do it anyway because I've just had a baby. And then like they're talking about all the things that they've sacrificed in their budget. But when you take a deeper look, it's all stuff she's sacrificing in her budget, and I'm like, well, what does he sacrifice? Like you haven't mentioned that he's not, you know, buying new shoes, or you haven't mentioned that he's not playing golf if that's for him, or you know, he might have footy club fees, or like he might have Friday night drinks
with the boys. And it's very stereotypical. But often, and this is again very is stereotypical, and it is not true for everybody, but often when you have issues like this, the men are like, well, I'm still going to go out for drinks on a Friday. Well I have to because I need to wind down from work, but like, you're not getting that same opportunity, and somehow that's still
in the budget. But then you've got mum who's scrimping at home, probably deserves the coffee walk to go out grab a latte for her mental health, but she's making coffees at home, and like, please, don't get me wrong, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I just see this power imbalance, and you know, someone's social life being prioritized over the others because they're the primary care So for me, I agree, we're not having these conversations early enough.
Steve and I definitely had them because we had to talk about what that looks like. I've spoken publicly on the podcast before about the way Steve and I manage money, and we managed it exactly the same as just us
prior to owning property together. But the second we had a mortgage, it honestly financially made the most sense for us to be putting all of our income into the offset account so that it can offset the interest that we are paying on our mortgage, right, like saves us money, right, And so we started having this conversation about, well, do we have separate offset accounts and you know, separate our
money or do we have one together? And like, from my perspective, we were building this life together, and I was like, well, my financial decisions impact you. So it's kind of an US thing.
You know.
If I'm saving for something, it's kind of a we a saving for something because there's not a lot in my life right now that's like a Victoria cost. It's like a we would like to go on a holiday, that's a family cost. So that is where we moved and then now we've had a kid, it's way better for us. For us personally, that doesn't work for everybody. I've had clients historically who keep their incomes completely separate. They have kids, they retire, it's still separate, and it
works perfectly for them. There is no one size fits all. But it sounds like there needs to be more open money conversations in this family because if you've got a kid and you're having to ask for money, I don't think that that means you've got a good enough budget. It means that we need to go back to the drawing board. Like please, don't get me wrong, it's not about what you're spending money on and that you have to ask, Like it could just be the electricity bill.
You're like, oh, can you transfer me a hundred bucks I owe or we owe x on our electricity. It's just not clean enough budgeting because baby clothes should be in the budget, like things should be allocated for and we should have a joint fund for that. Letely agree with you having separate savings on both sides, but that actually needs to be talked about after our basic needs
have been met. So if we do a budget and work out what is our income and what are our expenses and what does that look like We need to cover our butts before we start talking about savings, Like, I totally agree with you keeping something for yourself, But if you're thinking I'd like to save twenty percent before depositing it into the bills account, I think that's a
backwards way of managing finances. And like, I know there's not a one size fits all when it comes to managing money, but I do believe that you should be covering your expenses first and having a look at all your expenses. Where can we cut down. Are we happy with everything coming in and going out of our accounts,
then we should be talking about savings. We're in the middle of a cost of living crisis, and I feel like there might be a bit of a disconnect between you saying I'd love to save twenty percent of my income, but also I have to ask my partner to spend money on baby clothes. Like I feel like we might not be on the same page when it comes to
what's coming in and what's going out. And I'm not saying your partner is right by any stretch of the imagination, and you are definitely not wrong for wanting this, because I think you're wanting your own financial independence. You're your own financial freedom, which is really important, but that should be in the budget too, Like your emergency fund should be something that jointly you're contributing to, even if your partner can't access it. Same for him, he should have
an emergency fund. I think everybody should have one. But I think that this conversation actually needs to go back to basics and go all right, well, what are our expenses? How much do we need to contribute to our joint account to keep the roof over our head, our kid clothed, and our food on the table, right, and then whatever's left over from that? What are we talking about? How much of that amount are you keeping in your joint account?
Do you have joint savings? Should we be contributing to that? What does that wealth journey look like? Is that fair to say that the entire thing needs to be scrapped and we go back to the drawing board.
Yeah, and when doing so, just kindly reminding your partner that like looking after a child, despite the fact that it's probably the worst paying job in the world, is in fact a job like totally.
I feel like we shouldn't have to ask our partner to cover a basic necessity in our house, Like it should be a conversation no, And to be honest, I feel like your partner should be on board with that cost too. We're not asking for permission, but we're letting them know, Oh hey, did you know that it costs this much? Because if they're not in control of that, it's like the unpaid labor that women have on top of all of the other pieces of unpaid labor we do, right,
Like it's more mental load, Like I know that. And I'm not saying my partner doesn't do this because he's fantastic at it, but like I'm thinking, wow, okay, Harvey's four months now, He's going to be six months soon, Like do we need to go shopping for some clothes? Like I don't actually know because I haven't spoken to my part or about this. Does he know how much ones he's cost? Like? How many do we need in his wardrobe? How much does this actually cost us? So
is your partner away of these things? Does he know how much the nappy cream is? Does he know how much nappies are? Do you know how much that has increased your grocery bill. So I think it's important to have these conversations because I'm hoping that the outcome of this is him going, oh, I didn't realize. Sorry, Yeah, yeah, we can just fix that and then it's all simple
and done and dusted. But the fact that you've taken the time to write this message in I think it needs a little bit more budget planning.
Yes, whateveryone else say so you guys are cue today?
All right?
So we asked the community, do you think it sounds like the partner is forgetting about the unpaid full time job of a stay at home parent. Twenty seven percent said yes, Beck's looking at me and going what the heck it's because seventy percent said yes times two and two percent said no.
But a lot of people clicked it accidentally and message us to say I clicked the robber button. I think I'm rude.
We then asked you guys, all right, can you give us some tips on how to navigate contributions to a joint account when one person takes time off work to raise a child. Lots of conversation about this one in our DMS this week, so there's lots of different things that work for lots of different people. One person said, all money into one account and then equal amounts into personal accounts. We do seventy five dollars each week. Someone else said, make sure that the stay our home parents
still has superannuation contributions. Very important, very important. Someone else said, talk it would have been better to have these conversations before having a kid totally, But we can't go back in time, can we.
That's very true late now, late now.
We're doing the best that we can. Next person said, if you have a child together, you should be stable enough for money to be a joint thing. I mean, in a perfect world, yes, but that doesn't mean that you meant to have a child. It also doesn't mean that you decided at a stable point in your life to have a child, like Lots of people have children
for lots of different reasons. Like we heard on the podcast a couple of weeks ago on Money Diaries about a girl who was told that if she didn't have kids within the next year, it wouldn't happen for her. And she was relatively young, and she's in a situation where her partner was significantly younger than her and she was like, well, I could have kids, but it's not right for my relationship. Like what do I do?
So?
I think that Yes, I agree, in a perfect world we should be financially stable, but that does not mean that we are, and we're all just doing the best that we can. Someone else has said personal savings need to be divided equally between both parties, regardless of their contribution.
Yes.
Fair. Someone else to combine money and take an allowance for your personal expenditure. Seeing a theme, someone else said, I think you need to restructure bill amounts to include everything for baby, because that's actually a joint expense. Too. True. Absolutely, I like this person's thought pattern because it's basically mine. Sounds like you need to do a budget reassessment. Really, he was so smart. I love this. Actually I just steal all my answers from the DMS. Yeah I'm check
out what Yeah? Yeah, Like you're stealing your homework from your partner, I'm stealing from the community.
You're allowed in that case.
Someone said, just add the cost of care and send him a bill. Wild someone said, please make sure you're looking after your super And then there were just lots of people saying communication is the key here. You both need to be on the same page. But then we asked the community. We're like, well, do you have any advice specific to this community member, and they said, if he doesn't like it, he should be the one that
stays home with baby. Yes, and that's Beck's idea. Someone said, he can stay home if he likes I love that. You guys are all like, well, you do it, literally, you do it, sir, See how easy it is. Someone else said, divorce extreme. You all are dramatics sometimes. I mean, I'm here for it because they want to know the tea and I like reading it. But I'm also like, cool, please don't take that too dramatically.
Let's work through some steps before we Yeah, let's.
Communication could actually solve this problem. Someone said, suggest a joint account for the kid, So I think that could work really well as well. Someone said, you can chat to a financial counselor about how to approach the situation in more depth, which I think is actually a really good idea because sometimes obviously this is just a DM and we can't give you enough nuanced advice. But if you chatted to a financial counselor from our friends at
the debt helpline that would be really good. And then someone else said sit down with him and go through the budget, which I think is the most important thing here right, Like, to me, this is really important. I think it's also really important here to point out the coercive control in finances is actually financial abuse. Yes, and I'm not saying that that's what's happening here, but there were a few little, you know, maybe orange flags to me that this was not a situation that was healthy.
And I think it's really important to call that out because financial abuse comes in lots of different colors, shades and ways, and having money withheld is financial abuse if it's for things that you need to spend money on. Even just feeling ick about it is a conversation you need to be having. So I think that's unfortunately guys
all we have time for today. But I think that that's kind of a good rap, like just making sure that on the surface it is what it is, but making sure that we're educated about it turning into something you don't want it to. Yeah, that's great advice if that's something that you are worried about. Though, the best number to call is one eight hundred. Respect They do really great work and can send you to the people that you need. And then obviously if you do think
you're in serious trouble, always call Trible zero. Yeah, but we'll see you next week. Guys, sorry, did you forget something? It's Jess's birthday, having birthday jests. We'll do this again in three hundred and sixty five days. Ways, the advice shared on She's on the Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be
relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives of Money showper Pty Ltd ABN three two one six four nine two seven seven zero eight AFSL four five one two eight nine