MONEY DIARIES: The Money Diaries That Shook Us In 2023!

Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr

Let's get into it.

She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

Hello, and welcome to She's on Them the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. First things first, And Lisa Mary correct chriss I.

Thought you were going to say for millennials who want to celebrate Christmas v.

With you today.

I adore this. I'm so glad to have you back behind the mic. I guess guys, welcome back to another one of our money diaries. Obviously Analisa is in a voice you hear on money diaries very often, but when you do, you know it's the end of year. Wrap and you know that we've got some stories to share with you to wrap the year that was.

There's lots of wrapping being wrapped unwrapped today V So we're doing an audio version.

We're doing an audio rap. I love it.

Watch out Spotify. But I'm excited to talk to you today. I guess today being Christmas, I just want to do a little bit of a shout out. If you're listening on your Christmas morning and you're having a great day, fantastic, Merry Christmas, my friend. If you're listening today and you're feeling a little bit lonely, a little bit under the weather, a little bit like, oh, Christmas is the worst time of the year. I see you, I hear you. I'm

You've got us. We're with you, we love you, we're your ears.

Merry Christmas if that's what you celebrate, Mary, not Christmas. If you don't want to celebrate Christmas, and that's totally okay. But today we are wrapping the year that was and talking about some of our favorite Money Diaries. I'm so excited we did this last year, and the Money Diary Wrap was not only a cool episode I think to listen to I'm biased, but it was so fun to pull together because you get to like reflect on the year that was and all of the cool people we've

I feel like I'm even more lucky than you are because I kind of get to call all of these people I was about to say women, but actually like having men. Yes, Like we're not gender specific on this show, but now I am the she and she's on the money exactly. But I kind of get to have a longer chain with all of these incredible community members and meet them before I spring them on you in the episodes, And it's everybody's favorite episode.

Let's let's be frank, I reckon it is. Every time I talk to someone and be like, oh, they're my favorite episode. I'm not sure if they're just being nice agreeing with me, but usually they say, oh my gosh, me too, and I'm.

Like, yes, it's because we are. Firstly, we are so pervy, but we learn through like experience to each other stories. And sometimes you can be feeling really bad about yourself and then you hear someone else is having a tricky time or that they've experienced like maybe they're doing well now, or that they've had their ups and downs, and you're like, oh, yes, you know, you just learn so much from it. So I love talking to these.

People exactly, And I think we all love an end of year list, like I'm list gal at the best of times, love a spreadsheet, love a plan, love to do anything, And obviously I love to reflect on I guess the year that was, but also just really celebrate how kind and generous our community has been, because these stories aren't easy to share a lot of the time we're sharing tears or share laughs, and like it's so special, like how raw these stories are that we get to

And I love this because I get to force you to pick four. We do fifty to fifty two, we do fifty one excluding this episode episode, we technically do fifteen. We don't say it's the best because they're also so good in their own way, but like ones that are just I'm like, I.

Feel like every single week when I talk to a new money disay literally say to them, oh my god, this was the best one I've recorded yet. Yeah, And next week I'm like.

Oh my god, no, this is the best. Like I just can't control myself. So let's dive into it.

I have the first one to show you, and it is called Jail Debt and Learning to Be Free.

Yeah.

Like it said, I grew up in a wealthy family. I was pretty spoilt, got what I wanted. We'd go on holidays all the time. And then yeah, when I was a teenager, I woke up one morning and it was a police officer waking me up, telling me I had to go sit in.

Our living room while our house was raided.

And then from that day it was fourteen years until I saw my.

Dad not behind bus anymore. So this was super shocking.

Obviously, and confronting for everyone, mostly I would say for my mum, because she had no idea what was going on, like where the extra money was coming from. So she was just in shock. And everything was taken away. So the lifestyle of holidays and buying whatever you want and all of that was taken away, and we had to learn how to navigate that life without money. And my mum hadn't worked for a lot time since when of my last siblings was born, so that was about ten years.

Yeah.

Wow, So it was.

Going through navigating getting money and going back into the workforce and raising kids alone.

Oh my god, what is it like having a house raided.

It's not nice.

I can't imagine it being nice.

It's not the number one word that I would have used confronting, terrifying.

Maybe I wouldn't recommend it for anyone.

One out of ten. Can't recommend it.

Yeah, no, cannot. I would say.

It's scary, Like even thinking about it now, I still get a bit icky thinking about it all these years later, and it's like, well, they treated us like we were comminals, even though we were like little kids and didn't know anything that was going on. And yeah, they just make a whole lot of mess and leave it.

And then what happens. What happens when they leave, like you clean it up or you're not allowed to be there, or.

Yeah, we just had to clean up the mess. And whatever they took, they took. They see us a lot of assets, cars, houses, like all of that, and yeah, we're just clean up the mess after it actually happened more.

Than once, so more than once.

Yeah, I've been woken up a few times by the police.

Oh my gosh.

So you're like, oh, wow, that's a five am knock on the door, must be the coppers.

Yeah, not ideal, So I wouldn't recommend.

So Annealisa, that was the first cab off the Rang.

Oh my goodness. I remember this woman. It was incredible.

This once from back in February. I was kind of like an episode that we did at the start of the year, and I just remember being like, holy guacamole, Like it's you see this stuff on the news, like where houses get raided, and like do you remember this? Obviously not as dramatic, but I remember like one of the first times that I was like, wow, they raid rich people's houses was the Melissa Caddic story. About that dodgy financial advisor, which for like obvious reasons, I was

This happened several times. The can you imagine like being a teenager with a kid, with all your kid problems and teenage problems, and then you get woken up in the middle of the night and your life changes like that. I Mean, the thing is is that as we talk about this now, I'm sure that there's other listeners. I bit like.

I've been through that.

That's not that weird, Victoria, and I'm like, yeah, but that's I guess my privilege showing that thankfully my dad wasn't a fraud.

Stuff.

Yeah, it was incredible, but it was a very spicy story that I was very privileged to share on the show because obviously, if you've been in that circumstance, it's not that common for you to turn around and be like, yeah, no, I'd love to share that with the world.

Oh absolutely, And I think that you know that Listener really wanted to dispel some of the stigma and also show how she totally has lived her life in a completely different way. She was, I think in the middle of saving for her wedding and like being working really really hard and being transparent with her finances and changing her money story, which is such a.

Way that I don't think anyone would have expected. But I was so proud of that one and absolutely loved it. So that was a first cab off the rank to share. I have another one, Anna Lisa. So this second one I'm sharing is called setting Boundaries and standing on her two feet.

I'll start when I was nineteen. I'd just gotten back from my gap year. I lived abroad for a year and just had the.

Most wonderful time.

Came back and got straight into UNI, which was sort of the expectation from my family and where I grew up. I was studying something that I was really interested in, but not that passionate about. I was sort of like going through the motions. And then about a year and a half into studying, so I was about twenty twenty one, I started to have memories resurface from my childhood, childhood trauma that I'd experienced, and that came with, yeah, a

Up with UNI.

I was doing a little bit of counseling, and then it got to a point where I was like, hold on, like I really need to Yeah, I really need to go deeper into this. It's not going away and really connecting with that belief that I can get better. But yeah, as I mentioned when I wrote in part of that recovery journey, has been making a disclosure to my parents about what I experienced as a child. And unfortunately they did not respond well to that.

Oh no, yeah.

I'm so sorry that was your experience, because it would have been hard to even bring it up.

That's not something that I can imagine was easy.

Yeah, it was awful.

It's obviously I wanted to tell them for a long time, but then yeah, because it's so shrouded in secrecy and shame and yeah, for such a long time, even like the biggest part of the recovery was like understanding that it wasn't my fault, and yeah, obviously like spending all those years believing that it was my fault. I couldn't even come to terms with telling my parents because yeah, if I thought it was my fault, then obviously they

That one was I thought about that for days after listening to that, and I just I remember when I did that, I was pregnant. I knew I was pregnant. I don't think i'd shared it with the world at that point, and I just remember being like, I always want to be a safe space for my child. I cannot imagine, you know, a child coming to their parents and them not being believed about such a significant trauma happening to them. And I wanted to pick up our diarist and hug them and like make it better. And

That really shartbreaking and also so empowering. I mean, what I took away from that episode was that Diarist wrote in saying, I feel like I am behind everyone on my savings. I don't have any investments, I have these debts. I'm behind with you, Well, like it took me, so I spent so much money on studying because I was once I was uncovering this trauma, I was stopped starting, stop starting my degree, and then I had to take time off it to work and try and take care

Set up these boundaries and.

Now this money stuff like this will sort out because you are on the right track because you've done this really really hard ground with.

The deep work that needed to happen, and like, if it didn't happen, now it's what ends up burning people out and having them end up honestly having to take years off work, not being able to do what they want to do because finally that stuff they were repressing it catches up with them.

Yeah. Absolutely, it's oh gosh.

And I still occasionally think about that diarist and anyone out there in that situation.

Oh, it actually kills me.

But yeah, I was really really proud of her, really proud of her story that happened in August, and I just wanted to remind people that it was their really great story and honestly, a really beautiful message of backing yourself.

Let's go to a really quick break on the flip side.

I have two of them, one from January and one from October to share with you, So guys don't go anywhere, all right, an Lisa, we are back and this has been so nice.

I'm gonna feel so emotionally.

Heavy after this episode because we're recapping all of these beautiful episodes that I feel like had a massive impact on our community this year.

I have another one for you. Are you ready?

Oh?

I'm ready. I'm loving this toov all right.

So this one is called one Step at a Time after losing the love of her life.

Oh I remember this one?

Yeah?

But yeah, I got my situation together. I was lucky enough to meet my partner, and my partner is really financially minded. He loves talking about it, which is great because it wasn't a thing that I had anyone to speak to about before. He loves talking about all things money, and so we just had this really lots of discussions and we just well to grow together.

Did he grow up in a lower income household or like, what was his money story?

Like?

I wouldn't say that was a lower income household. But he was one of many children, and so you know that has a lot of costs associated with.

Having budgeting comes into playing when you have multiple children.

And I know his parents did have times that they had quite a lot of financial pressures, but generally speaking, they were quite Their parents were quite educated out about money. His grandfather was quite educated about money, and so this sort of filtered down to him, and so he was varying with his money. He was very frugal.

What a catch, Oh my gosh, Yes, she is on the money dream boat.

Yes, yes, definitely.

Yeah.

So I was in an Leigan position and we were looking at buying a house because we were both earning over six figures. We both had decent savings. He also had quite a lot of investments that he at that time was ready to pull out and you know, just pay off a substantial part of the Morgan you know, deposit upfront.

And he was twenty eight and he's got investments, six weekly income.

He was getting it done.

And he had his own side hustle business as well. So just sixty to absolute king about and I decided I wanted a career change at that point, so I resigned from my job at that time. But I wasn't concerned about that because in the work that I do in the industry I am, there's a lot of opportunities, so I wasn't too concerned about that. However, literally a couple of days after I finished it up there he passed away in an accident. So all of a sudden, we are just a world imploded.

And yeah, and Alia that one killed me.

Oh my goodness.

They had their entire life ahead of them and it got ripped away in an accident. Yeah, it's the story of like, oh it or never happened to me, It's the story of that always happens to other people. Definitely not asked, definitely not me, and to me really drove home the importance of financial literacy for everybody in the relationship and making sure that you have all of your ducks in a row when it comes to personal insurances and knowing what that looks like. And thankfully she was

I remember crying on the phone when I was speaking to this money duarist, and I Also my memories of it too is that she was particularly savvy with her situation and had stuff set up, but there was some sort of little clause in her insurances that meant that because she'd taken some stress leave, yeah, that they were like, oh, you have to wait for the payout, and it took a really, really long time.

It broke my heart, But I was also so proud of her because to go through that and come out the other side, like she was still obviously grieving and going through the motions, but she just had such a plan and you could tell that she was going to live this really beautiful life.

And from memory she she when we spoke to her, she was starting to get back to work.

Yeah she was.

She was like her finally dick inched corner like tee in the water and trying to get there. And you just know I should check up on them. Actually we should do like next year obviously no pressure and ELSA, but like, are where are they now? For our earlier diarists, that would be great, all right, let's try and organize that, But that's not the plan for today. The plan for today is to share our final money diary with you. For I guess our wrap of twenty twenty three.

The Diaries that Shook Us in twenty twenty three. There were so many these.

Ones from October and it is cool turning life around after addiction, and this is one of my faves.

Honestly, I'm just so proud.

Can you tell me a bit more about what that gateway was like, because obviously, going from you know, the short money story we've heard of, like yep, I was getting up for him milking the cows, I was getting paid in livestock all the way through to look twenty one twenty two, I got mixed up in some stuff that you know, I'm sure you wish you didn't, But how did that happen?

It was actually my family, so I was around it for two years before I actually tried it. I went into the wrong pathway from family influence. I think they all feel pretty bad about that, but we were all in a bad situation and we're thankfully all of us out of that now too.

Love love to hear that, yeah for us, But yeah, so it was the wrong pathway to go down, and I happened to get into the wrong place, wrong time, good family, and we're all looking up now. So what did that look like when it came to I guess your money story. Obviously, when you're purchasing substances like that, they're not cheap. How did you fund that? What did that look like?

So there's like friends or friends, You've got different platforms where you can find it, and people just want to hang out with you and.

Supply the drugs.

Majority of those are men. Unfortunately, Yep, I had a sugar daddy too, so.

He was This is going to be the spiciest money story. I cannot wait to dissect this even more so.

He was involved in the drug game too. I just love to spend time with young females and supplying as much drugs as you could. He was pretty well off.

Where does your work life balance come into that?

You've mentioned you've got a young child, they're in daycare and kinder You, you know, are driving forty five minutes each way from work. You're doing side hustles on the weekend. Do you have a personal life like dating? What's going on there?

I'm in an actual polyamory relationship.

Okay, didn't see that coming.

Yeah, so I have a girlfriend, she has a partner, yep, and I can date if I like to, but not really interested in it. We've been together nearly two years now.

Oh very cool.

Can I be real pervy and ask about how the dynamics of that work? What does that actually look like? So if your girlfriend has a partner, do they live full time together? Like, how do you interact? What does that look like?

She has a primary other, they live together, they're engaged.

But we all get.

Along really well. It was a bumpy at the start. I go up to their house and I stay all the time, and my daughter stays in their spare room.

We get along really good. It works really well.

How good? This was one of my favorites of the year.

I'm not gonna lie the transformation that you just got to see unfold. I feel like I didn't even know what to expect. Every two seconds, like it just it changed.

We were just like wait, what wow?

I'm like her money diary when she wrote in obviously outlined the like big milestones of the diary, but it definitely did not tell us as many twists and turns as she shared, And I was super grateful because she was so open. Like these topics, especially drug addiction, are often trouded with shame and you hide it and if you've moved on from it, you don't really want to

Like you just go wow, that's it's just so impressive.

And to me it was a really beautiful I don't know note to finish this conversation on to go analysa, isn't that beautiful?

It's amazing? And then to find love in a polyamorous relationship. And I remember when we aired that episode that actually sparked a big a conversation in our community about people. Other people got in touch kind of behind the scenes, and I think we had something in one of our Friday about the financials of polyamory people who read those sorts of relationships and yeah, I know it wasn't so interesting.

We're just sharing it because it's part of our community. Absolutely, there is no judgment in this house, Like I don't care what you do. As long as it is respectful and as long as it is consensual, I could.

Not care less.

Yeah, they're the two boxes to tick.

Baby, you want to tell me about it, cool, I'll listen. I'd love to know about it.

Let me ask some perfect questions though, because sometimes, because I've got no experience in this, I'd just like to know how that works, especially finances, Like when it comes to a polyamorous relationship, are you kidding? I do want to know how you split your budget. I already know how hard it is to split between two people. How are you doing that with three or more?

Yeah?

So it's really pervy, but really beautiful. But you're right.

A lot of people reached out behind the scenes and they were like, oh, v I'm in a polyamorous relationship. Haven't told my family or haven't told my friends. But it was just so nice to see that featured in mainstream media. Not that with that mainstream but in a media platform that I already consume and just know that this is a safe.

Place for me.

And I was like, I wish I had thought of bringing this to the show before it was brought to me by a community member. And obviously that's a really good lesson to me that I need to really think about what other stories are we going to share in twenty twenty four? What does you know the future of

It's oh yeah, and you know I can guarantee you. You know, I know you're not a gambling woman either,

It one hundred percent.

I think one of my favorite parts of that was just how enamored with life she was. She was just like, I'm so happy. I'm just I'm living my best life. I have this gorgeous daughter, I have this beautiful life. You know, my finances are on track.

SI hustle too.

Oh yes, she's real quack the money queen, yep.

But I thought that that was a pretty good way Anna Lisa to wrap the year out. That was I feel like we all leave on a high, going, Yes she did. We are so proud of that. But we're so proud of every single money diary that goes on the show. But also, I guess thank you to everybody who's also reach out to share their diary. We get so many submissions and Unfortunately they don't all make the show because as we know, there's only fifty one episodes a year that we can do. But we try our best,

And what a Christmas gift you've wrapped up for us on this episode, V. How gorgeous.

I love it.

I can't think of a better way to celebrate Christmas than with money diaries. Honestly, again a little bit biased, but that's okay.

Guys, have the best rest of.

The day, and we will see you on Wednesday, because the hustle doesn't stop, guys, The hustle does not stop.

Bye.

The advice shared on She's on the Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria divine and She's on the money are authorized representatives of money.

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