MONEY DIARIES: Slaying After Starting Over!

Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr

Let's get into it.

She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries where we get to talk with one of our incredible She's on the Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got a message and it sounded exactly like this. Hi, She's on the Money. At age twenty nine, I had to start my life over after a broken marriage. I began my life again and learned

Oh, very welcome, Thank you, Victoria.

Oh my gosh, let's dive straight in. I want to know if I asked you to grade your money habits from A through to F, what would they be B A B. I want to learn way more about that with this episode. But next is my favorite question. It is absolutely no secret that that is the case, because I feel like I say that every time Money Darist. I want to know, can you tell me a little bit more about your money story?

Absolutely so. My money story started at a very young age.

My dad particularly was a child of six sisters, so he was raised in a family that had a very low income of struggling parents. So it was very very important to him that he raised me and my sister to have an understanding of money from a very young age. So through high school, I worked as mean jobs as I could, working you know, at the local supermarket or babysitting, whatever I could do to put money in the pocket.

Oh.

I love this, You've got to prove it.

Yeah, absolutely, So by the time I was eighteen, I had two thousand dollars in my bank account and I was like, I really want to buy a.

Car, and my Dad's like, you've done so well.

He gave me the rest of the money towards the Red Joe and the insurance to be able to buy.

My first car.

Yeah, and it was really important to both him and myself that, you know, I was to do that independently.

So my money story started really young.

Was really great role models within my parents, particularly my dad, with money. So by the age of twenty two, I was able to buy my first home with my ex husband.

Oh my god, twenty two, you're a baby married and with a house, Like my gosh.

Yeah.

Absolutely needed a lot of work, but we just didn't mind getting our hands into it. We wanted it to be our first step. And by the time we did divorce, which was unfortunate, we actually made around one hundred and fifty thousand, so we were it with down yeah, seventy grand each. So it did set me up after the separation at the age twenty.

Nine, Oh my gosh.

Yes, and I was struggling.

Yeah, my god, you would have been.

I had a four hundred thousand dollars mortgage.

I got renters in to help assist, but I just really looked into and pulled deep into my heart and realized that I just needed to earn more money and I was capable.

One hundred percent. And it sounds like you were working with those massive hours. It wouldn't have just been like hard financially, it would have been just like hard mentally. You would have been exhausted all the time and then feeling like you're not getting ahead. You'd just be like, ah, what am I doing?

And I guess when a relationship ends, especially at that age of twenty nine, I felt so lost. I'm like, I don't have children, I'm no longer married, I don't have my home, I don't have my dogs. My life is no longer. I lost my way and it was that perfect time, that turmoil in that to actually stir me up and find myself and find my independence as well as a career. I suppose it gave me more satisfaction and passion and income.

Oh my gosh, I need to know more what to do?

Yeah.

I actually volunteered with a friend who was a sales rep in the hair and beauty industry, since that was the industry that I knew and was familiar with. I followed her around for nine months working with her, and she gave me commission two hundred dollars here, two hundred dollars there for opening new business with her, and I thought I can do this. I went and did a training and assessing course, and within nine months I left the beauty industry for good.

Oh my gosh.

I've been doing that for nearly eight years now, working as a hair and beauty sales rep within Victoria, and I absolutely love it.

I get to teach the skills that I.

Learned from the salon environment and share with women and you know, talk about the things that I still love.

But it doesn't hurt my back and my body anymore.

From physics doing the jobs, and I'm earning more money and feeling financially rewarded.

I love this, and I love that you kind of got to stay in an area that you were clearly passionate about. I feel like so many of us fall into these careers that are arguably on the lower end of the pay because you just go, well, I'm really passionate about it, and I really want to do it, like this is what I love, and then you just don't get rewarded and then you end up burnt out. But what a good step. I want to know now, though, like what is your actual job title and how much

No, So my actual title is an account manager or a B to B salesperson. My base salary is eighty five thousand dollars A yeah.

All very nice.

I receive a fully paid company car, petrol, everything included. And I also get commission on different components within my role. So my average income of commission per year is between ten and twenty thousand dollars on top of my base salary.

Very nice, and the company car is like the little cherry on the top because that stuff adds up, like petrol and everything, regio insurance, even just ongoing costs, Like that's nice not to have to foot.

It also gives me more freedom within my role. I feel I'm not restricted using my own car, I'm using their car. I feel like I can give more in my position as well, if that makes sense.

We're not putting ks on a car that then is depreciating in value for you, Like I get it, and I love that they provide that. But you mentioned before that you own three properties, so I feel like you've achieved a lot. So what are your actual money goals? What are we working towards? Because I feel like you've achieved it all already.

My big money goal, I suppose, would have to be looking into this permanent care adoption process. So as much as there's no costs within Australia to permanently adopt a child or the other program we're looking into is permanent care, there's no cost affiliated we do know, as you do, Victoria, the cost of a child. In general. We'd like to provide a similar upbringing to we have had, so we'd like to go on holidays and have experiences with our child.

We have no idea what age child we're.

Going to be welcoming into our lives, so there's a lot of unforeseeables that we would like to have the money prepared for, and that's our biggest goal with the moment.

I love that, and I feel like it would be such a nerve wracking process at the same time as being like incredibly exciting, like you're welcoming a child into your home. But I know how excited I was because like when I was having a baby, I didn't find out the gender, and I was like, oh, I just don't know, but you don't know so much more than that. Is that exciting or daunting or like what does that look like?

I often think about it because the process can take a lot of time, but once it starts, it can move really fast. So we could literally get a phone or next week saying there's a four year old girl that's maybe got autism that's ready for your home, and you're like, okay, four year old girl, what do I do? What do they need? You know, you need to look at what sort of care providers are in your area and schools. Maybe if they're four, maybe we need to

I want to be pervy because I feel like this is something that you know, we don't often get the opportunity to look into, and Google doesn't provide a lot. As you're probably going to tell me, how did you work out what that process would look like? Because you know you mentioned in your story, look after twelve, like that's a lot twelve unsuccessful IVF rounds you've decided that adoption or you know, permanent care is for you. How did you get to that?

Yeah, Look, it's a really hard thing deciding to finish up IVF after twelve rounds because we're in a higher financial bracket and then, and I guess most people that we know it wasn't a financial decision to end the IVF, as much as I know that's coming from such a privileged place. We had to make a decision that was mental and physical. It got to a point where it

Yeah, it's actually wild so for.

Us permanent care and adoption they're two separate programs within Victoria, but both options to me sounded like more of a guarantee and also, somewhere in my heart, I always felt like I would adopt a child, and a child that maybe is requiring a little bit more extra love and attention, maybe has suffered from trauma. I believe we've got the skill set to be able to help maybe where they haven't had that love and support before.

And I love that opportunity. So it just felt right in the heart.

That literally gives me groosebumps. You are such a special human Like it's one thing to want a child, right, I think most people would say, Okay, well, you know, I don't know if I want to take on the extra baggage of, you know, a child that has additional needs, and you're like, oh, I would love to do that. I have the space in my heart and my home. And I'm just like, I want to be your best friend.

Well, Look, we had to have the conversation because our complications are with me, not with Kim.

Are you in or you're out? Like if you're out, that's it.

You know, we had to have those serious conversations, and I think having a divorce before made me a bit more.

In reality of that. I'm like, this is a barrier.

I said, you know, we could look at maybe using your parts with someone else, a's other options, you know. But he didn't want that either. He didn't want anything that wasn't both of us. He just wanted to parent with me.

I love this so much.

Yeah, he's a wonderful guy. He's going through the whole journey as much as what I have. I think, you know a lot of people underestimate the man in the relationship or the partner.

Yeah.

Yeah, but they're on the road, they're they're air every step of the way.

So how are you financially preparing for this journey? Are you just saving like crazy, or are you, you know, setting up an emergency fund, or are you like doing research into what different things could cost? Like where are you starting?

We did initially look a lot into the surrogacy option overseas, so we did extend the mortgage on one of our properties to prepare for that, which we've just left sort of sitting on that mortgage at the moment, not touching it. Because we have decided to go down the other route. In the way of preparation, we've been spending bits and pieces along the journey, and the sense of buying lockboxes because we could be getting, like I said, a nine

I love that. And having gone down this route, have you been having conversations about what that timeline can look like. I know that adoption is incredibly fickle, but I don't know a lot about permanent care. Is this something where you know when you talk to them, they go, oh, it could be a ten year, eight or it could be five seconds. Like what's the usual time frame on these things.

They're saying within permanent care? Is it could be today, it could be next month, or it could be never.

Right. So it's literally the longest and most fraught journey ever.

Yeah, there's no guarantee.

Of course not. Yeah, I just know that someone special is coming for you though, because even just the way that I'm getting to know you, I'm like, I would give you a baby immediately. Mike, you look like you're going to be a great mum. In fact, you've got to be a better than me. So can you please tell me or your tips and tricks.

Look, I think when you've had obstacles in your way, you do have to consider things differently to a parent that has just had a child or fallen pregnant. Accidentally, I've had years to prepare for different outcomes, different scenarios, but there's still going to be so many unknowns, and I'm sure I'm going to continue to learn.

Like you are, Victoria, I.

Think, oh wow, I love it. I've got so many questions, but we need to go to a quick break on the flip side. We're going to talk a little bit more about this, but also about the debt that you've got on the mortgages you've got. I want to know about investments, and then your best and your worst money habits,

Absolutely, So I had a property, Like I said to you, I purchased my property at twenty nine for four hundred thousand dollars. That property has been rented for the last five years and is currently getting a five point eight percent rental yield.

Oh very nice, not too bad, not too bad. I like that you knew your rental yield as well. That's very sexy.

Oh wow, thank you. And I was very lucky I met my now husband.

He also had his money and finances together, so he had a property prior to meeting myself as well that he paid two hundred and ninety two thousand dollars for and it currently has a rental yield or seven point six percent.

So yes, please. People are like, oh my gosh, so I'm looking for a guy. He's taller than six for you know, you need to have blue eyes, all of these things. And I'm here like, so does he have an emergency fund?

Like?

Is he into property? Like the things you find sexy? Mnag just a little bit different. And I think that you and I are on the same page. Those are two properties that you had in Now I'm assuming you have a property together.

He mauled it. Last year we finished a build.

It took over two years to build our first home together. After seven years together, we're finally living in our own home. This property purchase price was eight hundred and seventy thousand dollars, but we actually paid forty percent upfront.

Oh my gosh, okay, money bags.

Yeah, so we were really lucky for five years to rent off my in laws, who gave us a really good price. They were happy. We were extremely happy and fortunate. Didn't pay much rent for five years, and we saved over three hundred thousand dollars in that time.

Oh my god. And then you were able to just put that all towards your home, and so now you've got really good equity in that home. But also I'm missuming you're feeling pretty financially stable with that decision, because like, eight hundred and seventy thousand dollars is a lot of money to be spending on property. Was that something that was daunting at the time, like or was that like, oh, we're going to have to spend that. I don't know where you live, so what does that look like?

It was risky because we brought off the plan Victoria gave me.

It can be great, but if it doesn't exist and you're asking for my life savings, like that's a lot to ask of someone.

Yeah, we went down to the wire.

We put the deposit down ten percent in twenty twenty one, come twenty twenty three, a year ago. The interest rates obviously have gone crazy. So we were pre approved in twenty twenty one for seven hundred thousand. Yep, in twenty twenty three, they offered us five hundred thousand dollars on a higher income under our current situation.

And that's so common at the moment, Like we're seeing that at work a lot, like obviously for those of you playing a long at home, I have a mortgage broking business, but we see it often where people are like, oh, yep, I just am gonna put my head down and save safe, save for the next two years because I saw a broker, And then we speak to them and they're like, no, no, no, I was superved for much higher and you go, yeah, but the interest rates have gone up, and unfortunately that's

We would have had to put about thirty five percent down from memory, but we decided to just round it up make it forty percent. We did leave ourselves around eighty thousand dollars as a nest egg, after which we were very fortunate that we had, but for me, that still felt like we were taking majority of the money that we had. And if you go back a year ago, we were still doing IVF, So you're looking at very

Yeah, and that must be really common. I haven't been through that process, but know a lot of people who have, and the financial pressure. You know, at the end of the day, obviously I'm all about saving and investing, but if having a child is the most valuable thing to you, money comes back. Like I feel like so many times people are like, oh, but it's so expensive, and it's just a different conversation than saving for your first home.

I would say after I think round eight we had a really successful round and was the six embryos, so that gave us hope.

Again.

It's a rollercoaster of emotions. You think, oh, this is going to work, and then you go or no. At the time, I had no medical reason to why I wasn't falling pregnant.

So I actually sat.

There one day and decided that I'm never going to make the decision to end my fertility journey from my heart, it's never going to happen. I had to make the decision from my head. It was time. It was heartbreaking, Like you said, I had to exhaust every option possible. I had to make a decision that wasn't just about finances or anything like that to be able to be okay in my conscious and to be able to heal from that.

Because that will always be a part of me.

Only three weeks ago, I made the step for my personal health of having a hysterectomy. So I will never be birthing my child. I will never breastfeed. That's something that I will never be able to let go of.

But I know I'll be an amazing someone else's child that they're not able to be a mother. Just know what. That's the thing you've got to decide, and it's really hard.

I am so proud of you. You're going to make me cry. I'm going to break. Like I told you earlier that you were a really social human and like I just feel like the right kid is coming your way. Like it all all makes sense. And it doesn't often help to share stories about other people going through the

Yeah, thank you.

Back to money for a little bit. I want to know a bit more about debt, because like, thankfully we know that you're in a financially stable position. Before we heard that you already have three homes. One was four hundred thousand. Your husband bought a home for two hundred and ninety two thousand, and you've obviously got the eight hundred and seventy thousand one that you paid forty percent for what do the debts on those properties look like at the moment.

So our current principal home is four hundred and seventy thousand dollar alone, Mm hmm. Then we've still got around two hundred thousand dollars on my husband's property, and still the full amount of four hundred thousand dollars on my property, just purely because I have tapped into that a couple of times and withdrawn some money from. So we're looking at I think it's one point one or just under that in debt in total.

And is this something that stresses you out? I feel like a lot of people they go a million dollars in debt, that's wild. Obviously they're assets, so to me, it's quite pragmatic. But how do you feel about that when you calculate it all up?

I don't feel stressed about money.

I never have because I've always found a way to earn money. I've always found a way looking for supplementary income. I've never been without a job. I've been made redundant twice and I found a job within six weeks.

Twice twice twice? How did that not come up earlier? That is being here with the rootstick like, are you joking? Twice? How does that happen?

Mainly covid Once was March of twenty twenty, and then it was again in twenty twenty one, and through that time I worked at Centerlink. I tried to go and center Link for the first time of my life and they called me and said, do you want a job instead?

You're yes, slave, I'll do that.

What am I doing at Centilink?

So I didn't even know that was possible.

I didn't either. I think it was a prank call.

You're like, hey, can I have Sentlink? And They're like, no, do you want a job?

I'm like, that seems like it pays more. I'll take that. I would take that too, absolutely.

So for me, money isn't something that I worry about. Victoria, I loved being a beauty therapist. I'll go and be a beauty therapist again. If I need to be, I'll do whatever. I'll plan toilets. I don't care what I have to do. We have got that privilege of two properties.

I love this mentality. I feel like you have a really healthy mindset around money. Do you think that comes from your money story or do you think that comes from somewhere else? Or like, how do I step further into this? Money doesn't stress me? Vibe because even though I should be relatively stress free around money, like money still gives me anxiety. Like money still stresses me out? So how do I step more into that? Because that sounds pretty good?

This is going to sound wrong to say on your podcast. It's not that important to me.

Yeah, good and no, that's absolutely not wrong to say on my podcast.

I believe I need money in order to provide the future that I want and the future that I need, But it's not my happiness. My happiness is within my life, my family, my dogs, That's what my focus is always going to be on. So for me, I guess I've never had to struggle too much with money either. And when I did, like I said, I did.

Something about it.

I was not going to allow myself to be fin financially backwards, so it's just not a priority. I put time and effort into it, but it's not important to me in that way.

I love that, and I feel like that is definitely a reality check because you're right, it's not that important in the grand scheme of things. There are so many things that are so much more important than money. So tell me. I feel like you probably have some good money habits despite not caring too much about it. What do you think is your best money habit.

My husband's actually an accountant, so.

Okay, money win. So he was really financially literate. He came with a property, he liked investing, and then he was an accountant okay slave.

So my best money habit was letting go on a lot of the stress of money and putting it on his shoulders.

And he loves that.

He does the spreadsheets and he organizes it. I just ask him if I if we've got enough money for me to spend this or that. We discuss our big finances together, but outside that, I have no stress.

You're just like, this is great, he can do it.

It's so great.

We sit down once a week and we have a financial chat about where things are at, where the goals.

Once a week every week. How do you do that? Do you schedule it? Is this like a proper day in accountant?

Have you met an accountant?

Yeah, my dad's an accountant, But I never saw my parents doing money dates, So like, is this something that I've missed out on?

We don't just do a money day, Victoria. We do a relationship check in once a week.

I feel like I need to know so much more. Like this podcast, I was coming towards the end and I'm just not now.

So we check in on our week.

We talk about our hopes and dreams, we talk about our future child, we talk about if there's any ingrieviances that we've had with each other that we need to talk out in a nice, comfortable way that we don't judge. And we spend that time together to invest like you do in your workplace or your co workers know you check in, So we spend that time usually in a bath, or go for a walk, or we'll just do something together.

I love this so much, Like I'm low key really jealous, Like I don't have that, and I'm going to go home and be like, so Steve, if I was thinking, because that just sounds really damn healthy.

It is healthy.

We find we don't bicker as much and we understand each other. You know, I quite often look up little scenarios and I say, so, what are you going to do if our child has a tantrum in the toilet and won't come out and he goes?

I don't know, so let's work it out. What are we going to do? Let's like prepare ourselves.

I literally do the same thing. So that's not the type of relationship check in. But I make up scenarios in my head and then I'm like, so, Steve, what if? And then he is like, well, I would do X, Y Z. And I'm like, but why why wouldn't you do this other thing? Because I recently learned because I read every parenting book under the sun, Like, but what about this? Like that's not very gentle parenting of you?

As a.

Often it's would you still love me? I follows a worm?

But yes, that's a good one.

Yeah, Like, I mean it can start there. This feels like I'm taking it from being healthy to being novel. But you know what, I've got to start somewhere. So it's a good idea. It's a great idea. I mean I don't even want to ask the next question because I feel like I'm ruining the mood. But do you have any bad money habits?

Definitely, my biggest money bad habit would have to be buying food on the road because of my job.

It's just so tempting. I'll pack a nice sandwich and.

Then I'm like, oh, but there's snits or something looks yummy and tasty.

Chips at Schnitz are definitely worth it. So tell me a little bit more about how you manage for that. Is that something that's in the weekly budget, Like is that something that you sit down with your husband and it's allocated for or is that something that you're like, oh my gosh. Be like when I say that I buy food on the road, it blows our budget out completely, Like what does that actually look like?

I'd say more the second one be but.

You don't niggle because you checked in it every week about it, so it's fine.

Absolutely, Yeah, we talk about it and have you were safe? You didn't bring your lunch a couple of times this week? Or he'll say do you want to make your lunch for tomorrow? I'm like, yep, that's a little check in a little subtle, like you've done it a few times this week sometimes like uh, yes, that's how it's going to be this week. It's been one of those weeks, and he's like, Okay, no worries.

He does it in the same way someone might offer you a mint and you're like, I probably should take the mint.

You probably should take the mint.

I love that. Oh my gosh. At the start of this episode, you told us you're a bee, But come on, I feel like after learning about you three houses, your head screwed on weekly not monthly, weekly money and life check ins with your husband having a full plan around you know what the rest of your life is going to look like. I just feel like Bee's maybe not that accurate. So tell me after having this chat, is A be accurate? If so? Why?

If not?

What is your new money score and what would it take to get to an A plus? Like what would you have to change?

Maybe a B plus?

Maybe how could increase it slightly after I chat to bring it to an A. I'm not sure what else I really want from my money story in that sense of what else I need, But I just always think you've got to leave a little bit of room for improvement, victoria and evolution. Never know where it's going to go.

Yeah.

See, I'm a perfectionist, so whenever I got a B plus on something, I would just rip up the paper and be really frustrated at it because it wasn't what I wanted. But I feel like having room for growth is important. But I also feel like you are probably one of the most grown money humans I've ever met. You just have your head screwed on. You know what

Thank you, Victoria.

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