Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it.
She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Mune, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome to another one of our money diaries where we get to talk to one of our incredible Shees on the Money community members all about their money story. Let's jump straight into it today because this week we've got a juicy one. Here's the message I got. Hi, Victoria. I'm a doctor who got scammed two hundred and seventy one thousand dollars by
my cousin who lives overseas. I've managed to get out of the financial hellhole with a lot of help and hard labor, and it has catapulted my financial literacy like no other. I wanted to share my experience given the prevalence of cybercrime, and to break down stigma for others who have also been scammed. Money diarist, Hello, what an awful cousin. I know one out of ten cannot recommend.
Yeah, I mean didn't see that one coming through.
No, you wouldn't have, especially because they're family, right. I want to know so much about this before we get there, though. I want to know if I asked you to grade your money habits from A through F, what would you grade yourself?
Probably A B plus B plus.
I like it.
I like it.
Let's get into the money diary, though, because I want to know all about this money dirates, Can you tell us a little bit about your money story?
Sure? So, growing up, I didn't have a lot of financial literacy. Money wasn't talked about in the family like adult affairs. Hush hush, you don't talk about it. So I just learned to not ask my parents or anything to do with you know, their jobs or how much they earn or anything like that. I was also made to feel like it was a bad thing to accept gifts or you know, money on you know, birthdays or special events, because you know you're not meant to be
taking money from others. You're meant to be saving your own money. So a lot of conflicting types of ideologies growing up where you know, you don't talk about money, but you know you can't sort of accept gifts and
things from family and other people as well. And I didn't really work until I was nineteen, so I had no concept of super or taxes until I started work, and even then, working while doing UNI, I didn't realize, you know, what the importance of super was, or you know, how to do your taxes, things like that.
That's so common though, so common.
Yeah, so I just sort of blindly fumbled my way through working a few part time jobs while studying. Even when I started working as a doctor, it was just all, you know, I earned, I spent, I earned, I spent, I saved, but I didn't know what I was saving for and I didn't know how to save, so it's just whatever I didn't spend ended up being savings. So, you know, I was just sort of going through that
sort of endless cycle until I got scammed. Basically, Oh my gosh, that sort of changed my perspective on things.
So talk to me a little bit about this circumstance. Obviously, that's the reason you've reached out to us. And I feel like you sound very articulate, very well spoken, and like a very intelligent human being. He dropped before that you're a doctor. I feel like that is the exact opposite of the type of person I would have assumed to. Let's call it full for a scam, even though it's not really falling for a scam, it's being manipulated into
parting with money. Right, how did this happen? How do you get scammed out of two hundred and seventy one one thousand dollars?
Yeah, well, it didn't happen in just one big lump sum here? Can I have two hund seventy one k. It was over a period of a year and a half, and it just started off. So I have family overseas and my cousin's overseas, but I grew up with her, so you know, we had a pretty close relationship and it just started off with a initial sort of Her boyfriend was in trouble and she needed to help him out.
Could I sort of help her help him out? And you know, as a once off thing, you know, I did in mind, So I transferred her some money, and then I guess it just that was the sort of opening for an ongoing cycle of a web of lives. It's a bit complicated, but essentially it started off with one thing. So say, for example, her boyfriend needed money for X, Y Z reason and she couldn't go to anyone else, and I was the only one she could trust, and I was the only one she had kind of scenario.
And then when that sort of story had reached its limit, it was some other story about someone we knew, a mutual person that we knew, and that how he was in financial strife and he was hounded by loan sharks and we were all he had, and so it became a just a sort of spiraling web of lies. And at the time, because I knew the person that she was referring to as being in all this financial strife, I believed her and just didn't question it. Even the
stories got more and more weird. So for example, he needed, you know, medical expenses covered for being really unwell, and then his mother died, and then it just spiraled. And I mean, I guess at the back of my mind, I sort of I was like, what am I doing? Why is this happening? Because I never spoke to the person that she was referring to. Ever, I was always through her. I never saw evidence of anything. I just sort of blindly trusted her.
Well, she was a family member, right, Yeah.
So it just kept going until it reached a point where I guess it was just getting too ridiculous. So I was getting random messages from random phone numbers I didn't recognize, sort of harassing me for money and things like that, and when I've questioned her about it, that'll be more lies. So then I was like, Okay, this
is just weird. So then I'd stopped giving her money, and then I guess there are a few clues that I'd picked up along the way that led me to believe that everything was just a sham, but it wasn't. So I realized when I'd stopped giving her money, that she changed her whole story again to a different sort of story to try and get money off me. That I realized that this is all a sham, and that I just needed bail. But I guess by then I'd already been scammed to under in so many.
K Oh, my gosh, that's awful. I'm so sorry you went through that.
It wasn't a pleasant time and I had to. I took out, you know, four credit cards out of personal loone. I was working day and night to cover this. And the funny thing was I wasn't even the money, wasn't even for me. I was just sort of earning it and then fundling it to her, and so just escalated. But I think once I realized and started getting help, then that was the point of no return. I was never gonna sort of return to that cycle, I guess.
Yeah, of course. So this cousin that you had, you mentioned your cousin's overseas. Was this someone that you were relatively close with before.
Yep, yep, so used to see her on school holidays, grew up with her when we were younger, So totally did not see this coming.
And how did you broach this with family? You said that you reached out for help. Was that through family? Was it through you know, external sources? What were your first few steps there? Because that would be heartbreaking to find that out, but also so difficult because it's a family member.
Yeah, it's really awkward, and it's still to this day. So basically I reached out to her parents to sort of query on her side whether all of this was true, which I don't know whether that was a mistake or not, but basically they ended up taking her side, and which was to say basically that none of this was true and that I was lying. So it became a he said,
she said thing. But I had a bit of help from other relatives where she lives to sort of do a bit of background snooping, which which then gave me
the evidence that this is all not true. And I guess in terms of financial help, I did receive a lot of help from my parents and my friends to sort of get me out of it, but it took me a long time to confess to them, I guess for one of a better term as to what had happened, because I was just so ashamed of what I did and I felt like I was the one that caused it all, and so it was just a bit difficult to let them know. But once I did, it was fine.
So what does this look like today?
Then?
Obviously family is family kind of forever. You obviously don't have a relationship with her anymore, But what does that look like for the broader family.
Well, I still don't know, because I haven't seen her or heard from her since I've confronted her with the you know, I know you're lying thing. She's basically blocked me. Her parents have blocked me. They've sort of cut off all contact from the rest of the family as well, so no one really knows what happened to them and
where she is or what she's doing. I have tried sought legal options to try and get the money back, but it ended up being sort of throwing good money at bad and so I thought it wasn't worth it and the emotional hohoha of going down that pathway and sort of all the debts that I'd accumulated in that time period, I've now paid off and completely debt free. So that's good from a debt free from that point of view.
Oh, I'm glad. I was about to ask about that. I was like, please tell me you're not still in this.
No, but it took me about three years to get completely debt free from that whole saga, so slow process, but conscience, clean slate white now, so oh good.
I'm glad that you're in that position. And when I ask a few more perfect questions about your cousin, you said, you know, we'd see each other on school holidays. Obviously you never saw this coming. And I mean, if my cousin reached out to me and said I need help, I'd be there with bells on, absolutely no worries, like
I've got your back with family. Right. Were there indicators or little red flags growing up that maybe she wasn't the most honest person or did this just come completely out of the blue.
I guess on reflection, there were probably some indicators. So she's a bit older than me, and I used to see her lie sometimes when we went situations, and sometimes I'd get the blame for something I never did, and I just put that down to you know, childhood, immaturity or whatever, like I never took it seriously, but I was looking back, there might be some things that hinted at an unbecoming character to be.
Oh my gosh. And then as an adult, as things started to become very complex, and obviously there was a string of lies. And then she told you that you know someone you liked was in trouble and then obviously you kind of worked out that maybe this wasn't what she was saying it was. At what point was that and how did you go about going all right? Well, you mentioned before that you had some family or some people in the same country as her do a little
bit of digging, which was helpful. How did you reach out about that? And I guess explain that circumstance because when it comes to being scammed, there is often a lot of stigma and shame that exists when they shouldn't be. Like, looking at it from the surface level. From my perspective, you did it because you cared. You did it because you're a kind human being who wanted your cousin to be okay and this other person to be okay, and you were just like okay, no worries, like of course
I'm going to help. So I don't think there should be any shame there at all. But I think the shame exists when you realize or you feel as though you got manipulated, And no one likes to think that they got manipulated, right, But how did you break that to your family and start unraveling this web of lies?
So I reached out to a different cousin to try and because I guess the number of the person that you're saying was in all sorts of strife, every time I tried contacting that number to get the facts, they never answered the phone, which is obviously a red, massive red flag. So I tried to get the number of the actual person from a different cousin, who then managed to get it, and I called up that actual person, who had no idea that his name was being used
in this whole string of things. I mean, he could be lying as well, but I don't think so. I think it was just a scapegoat essentially. So I guess that was sort of a year after a year or so of being sort of manipulated, And then it took me another half a year or so to let my
mom know. I had to write a letter explaining everything because it was just one of those things that it was so complex and unbelievable that I couldn't verbalize it, so I had to write it down in auto sequence just so she could get the facts before sort of losing losing her mind. Yeah, yeah, so that's what happened that Yeah.
And what did your parents say? When they found out, how did they feel about this, because obviously this was their niece.
They were really surprised and shocked that this had happened. My mom was particularly very angry at me more than anything else, for being sort of deceived in being so gullible. No,
as in that that was her reaction. I know now that that's not the case, so that that's that's how she reacted, And I mean, she was also angry at my cousin, but I guess on her trying to confront my cousin, she just sort of made up more lives and things, and I guess at that point my mom realized that what had happened to me, as In initially she couldn't quite believe it. And it wasn't until she talked to my cousin and realized that she was not making sense to her as well that she realized how
much I'd been manipulated. And then she did. Although she wasn't happy that all of this had occurred, she helped me out to get it at some of my debt and things like that.
Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you had your parents, And I feel like that's really common for parents to sometimes learn something that's really shocking, especially about their child that they want to love and protect and you know, don't want you to get into trouble. They don't always respond in the way that you would hope to immediately. Sometimes they need a bit of time to calm down and find to their feet and find their actual response,
So that that's very relatable. But money diarist, I want to know a bit more about you, because obviously this is just something that happened to you along your financial journey. It's not the defining factor of who you are or what you're creating when it comes to financial freedom. I want to know what do you do for work? How much money do you earn.
So I'm a doctor, I do both work in a hospital and I do private work as well, so I have about four streams of income.
Oh, very sexy, which can be.
A bit variable because of the private work, but I guess at the moment. I think last financial year, I think was about two hundred and just under two fifty k pre tax, which works out to be I've worked out on my spreadsheet that I allow myself an income of about thirteen thousand a month after tax, So I allow myself about thirteen thousand dollars a month for income.
That is very impressive.
I divide that into sort of daily expense, shared expenses with my husband, and savings and splurge.
Perfect. Next question I've got for you is what is your big money goal. You said that you'd paid back all of the debt from being scams, So where are we going now? What are we working towards?
Yep, so recently hit previous money goal, which was to buy a house, so that's done. Money goal would be saving up for when I'm not able to work, say for example, for maternity lead. Yeah, and also saving for investments to grow our wealth.
That's exciting. All right, We're going to go to a really quick break, and on the other side of the break, I want to learn a little bit more about your investing habits and what your plans are, so guys, don't go anywhere. All right, we are back money Diarist. I feel like you have been through the absolute wars, but it sounds like you're coming out the other side, and you are a very good example of somebody who has been scammed that you just wouldn't expect. I feel like
everybody just assumes that to be scammed. You have to be silly or not intelligent or not be able to see things. But the scam you went through was incredibly manipulative and was also run by a family member, which is honestly, just from my perspective, absolutely cooked. But we're jumping back into it. You are back on track, you're out of debt, you are working towards big money goals.
You've purchased your first home, which is so exciting. So I want to know what's your investment plans for the future.
So I've already got some investments in terms of an investment property and some shares that the investment plan longer term would be to invest for potential future children's education and also to grow our wealth generally in terms of having a passive income, so I don't have to work as much.
Very sexy. I like that when it comes to investing for children's education. How do you think you might go about doing that? Have you given that any thought?
Yep. So every month we're putting aside a certain amount of money to invest in shares, and the idea is to invest over the next fifteen years or so and hopefully build a portfolio that's going to be something that we can use to fund future child education and if we need to.
How exciting. I feel like that is really far aheads, like that's something that you know, I've just gotten married and we're starting to talk about kids and stuff like that, And it's not a conversation I've even had with my partner yet about education. How have you started having these conversations with your husband? Is this something that you and your husband just openly talk about always? Because I feel like this is so progressive.
I love it, Yes, just because he's obsessed with our future kids going to private schools and that being a significant cost. And I don't share the exact same beliefs about needing a private school education to give being exceptionally important in a child's life. But I can see that. I mean, I had a private education and I thought that, you know, my school was fantastic, But I mean, I don't have anything to compare to. I never went to
a public school. So I guess that conversation was always open because he's so vocal about it and so keen for that to that we thought we might as well just plan Earie.
I feel like I love that, Like it's just something that a lot of couples aren't thinking about especially before they have kids. Are you guys as communicative or is your husband as vocal about other financial goals or is it just really about the education Now?
I think we're pretty open about everything. We do the whole for date night thing where we talk about money related to dud, you know, and review our goals and our savings and budget and all of that. So we're pretty open about talking about money.
How exciting. Oh my gosh. You mentioned before you've recently bought a home and you have an investment property. So the next question I want to know is what debts do you have and how much are you carrying?
Yep, so I have zero personal debt or credit card debt or X debt.
Yes, Queen.
In terms of investment property, I have about I think four under thirty k mortgage and now place where we live we share a one point three million dollar property mortgage, so those would be the main debts at the moment.
When it comes to investment property. You're quite young. You're thirty three, so I feel like you are still a baby and you are killing it. And I know you've been through some pretty significant financial hardship, but to have gone through what you've gone through and to have an investment property in a family home like this is so exciting. I want to know when did you get your investment property and what led you down the path of making the decision to purchase that.
Sure. So, actually, my investment property was my principal place of residence at the time that I purchased it in It was an off the planned place that I purchased in twenty eighteen. The funny thing is that while I was getting scammed, I still knew that I had to pay my mortgage repayments first above anything else. I never defaulted on on that.
Yes, I'm so glad.
I just didn't have money for anything else. Basically, so I was living there and then when I met my husband and we decided to move in together, he had the bums for a deposit already saved, and I had the I.
Guess the borrowing capacity yep.
Yeah, the borrowing capacity yep. So with our powers combined, we managed to get a property together. So joined in both our names and that's when my other place turned into an investment property.
Yeah. How exciting. And then with your family home one point three to three million, dollars as a mortgage leaves a bit of a lump in my throat. How did you feel going and getting that mortgage? Was that something where we were like, okay, cool, like I know in the area I live, this is just what property costs. But also, how did you feel taking out a mortgage of more than a million dollars?
Okay? Only because we had a good mortgage broker who gave us a pre approval, and you know, we bought below our pre approval max, and we saw a lot of properties in the area, so we've done a lot of research beforehand, and so when we did buy what we did by we were comfortable that we could make those repayments. But we bought just before the first lot of interest rates went up, so in April last year. So since then, every time we think, oh, this is the repayment, it just goes up.
I can feel that in my soul at the moment.
Yeah, it's still manageable. I think it helped that we didn't sort of stretch out what we could borrow. We just borrowed sort of just under Yeah.
Wow, all right, I want to know what do you think is your best money Habit.
Probably setting up direct debits for transfers into savings and for bills and things so that I don't have to think about it it's all automated. And also just setting up all the bucketing in the first place, because prior to that, I was just like I said whatever, I didn't spend with savings, so there was no structure to anything, so I didn't know what I was doing. Whereas now I feel more in control and I can see when you know savings are built up over time and it's satisfying.
I love that. I feel like cashlow is one of my favorite things ever. It's literally why I built the Budget and Cashlow Masterclass, because I was just obsessed with creating a cash flow system very selfishly for me, and then I shared it with everybody else. But it's actually so fun when things start to work and you know where things are going and which bucket it's going to fall into, and you know that your goals are going to be achieved. There's just such a sense of accomplishment
with that. Yeah, when people say, oh, my best have it is cashlow, I'm like, yeah, and get it because it's kind of set you up for life, like it's the best thing that you can do for yourself regardless of what you earn to bring the mood down a little bit, because I'm all about knowing about worse things too. What do you think is your worst money habit?
Probably I'm a bit stingy with allocating money from self for splurge and discretionary expenses, so then I end up digging into other funds to make something happen if I really wanted to happen, and then having to keep transferring money back and forth to even it out afterwards. So I guess just reviewing my discretionary expense fund.
Yeah, that's totally okay. Now that we've had a good conversation and I have a really good understanding of you, it sounds like you've gone through a lot. Obviously, being scammed by your cousin who lives overseas for two hundred and seventy one thousand dollars is nuts. But you've come out the other side of this. You met your husband, you've moved in together, you have a family home together, you have your own investment property, you're investing your saving,
you have a bang in cash flow system. Do you really think that you're only a B plus?
My friend yes, just because I still have a bit more learning to do in terms of like things like acid protection and wealth creation. Like there's a whole lot of terminology that I still don't understand and I would like to learn more about. So, I mean, I think I was an F a few years ago, So I think I've come a long way, and I'm pretty.
We've come so far. And I feel like B plus isn't bad. I always just like reflecting on it. And my favorite thing when I ask that question and say, oh, do you really think you're a B plus is not that you question it. It's actually that you can give me some tangible examples of how you would like to better your financial circumstances or the things that you want
to learn about. And the things that you've mentioned are really valid, Like talking about asset protection is so important, talking about insurances is so important, especially if you're a doctor, because if you can't work as a doctor, you can't earn an income, and obviously your income is helping you pay your mortgage. So I feel like all of those things make so much sense and they are really really valid.
But do you know what the best part about them is they're really easy to learn about and that's literally why we exist. So I have absolutely every belief that you are going to be in an A plus in absolutely no time. Money Diarist, it has been lovely talking
to you. I am so glad that you have come on the show and spoken to me because I just genuinely believe that we're breaking down that stigma of who gets scammed and what's going on and maybe if somebody else is in a similar circumstance, they might reach out for help a little bit earlier before they actually get into a really big hole, because so many times it's this idea that you don't want to reach out because
it's a bit embarrassing. That really puts us in a deeper hole than we need to be in, right.
I mean, yeah, it took me a while as well because of those reasons that you mentioned. And I think if it helps to allow other people to realize that it's not they're not alone, then that's that's a good thing.
I couldn't agree more. Do you know what it actually reminds me of. There's a podcast that I was obsessed with. It's actually based in the UK. You might have heard of it. It's called Sweet Bobby by Tortoise Media, and it's about somebody being catfish, which I feel is very similar to your circumstance where they were scammed, and it just went for a really long time, and I'm not going to spoil it if you haven't listened to it, but it's a story that checks out on many levels
as being quite similar to yours. So if anybody's interested in that, that's a little podcast recommendation from me before we go, But unfortunately that's all we have time for today. Money Deres, thank you so much for joining me.
Thanks so much for having me. Victoria