MONEY DIARIES: A Life Transformed In 2 Short Years

Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through.

Let's get into it.

She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

Hello, and welcome to She on the Money, the podcast a millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries where I get the absolute pleasure to talk with one of our incredible She's on the Money community members all about their journey. Before I read out my email, I just want to give you

We have a plethora of other.

Money diaries you can go and listen to, but for those of you who are going to stick along, be aware that that is the topic that we are discussing today. So the email it went like this, Hi, She's on the Money. Two years ago, my ex and I split up and then he ended his life. As you can imagine, this turned everything upside down for me. I had to stop working and I had no money. But now in two short years, I'm a homeowner, I'm engaged, and I have a baby on the way. I'd love to share

How are you?

Yeah, definitely a lot better now, but it was definitely a crazy time in my life and it's taken a lot to get where I am now. But wouldn't be here without the help of She's on the Money podcast, to be honest, it's helped me so much.

Oh that's so sweet.

But also you've got to do a whole heap of work to have gotten through that, like on your own. That's actually crazy to have gone through that and then be kind of on the flip side and kind of be at the side of things where the light is actually at the end of the tunnel, and just offline, I was talking to you about being pregnant. You seem so glowy and happy about that, and that just makes my soul like so so happy for you. Let's dive it straight in money, darist, what grade would you give

F, I think I'd be sitting on about a B at the moment.

I'd be that's not bad.

My favorite question of all time, money Darrest, Can you tell me a little bit more about your money story?

Yeah, So, I sickly left school in year ten. I went to tafe for a few years and did a couple odd jobs for a few years, pretty much living just paycheck to paycheck, as you kind of do when you first go out into the world and start working. I realized quite quickly that that wasn't really the lifestyle I wanted, so I did a quick Google search of what was a really high paying job that you could do from home?

Because I knew I wanted to have a family eventually.

I love that this is what led.

Me to the accounts industry.

So I started my tafe to do my search foreign accounts then and then quickly got into the industry in just an entry level job. That job was alright, but I was quite undervalued and underpaid there unfortunately, so I quickly job hopped to a few other accounts jobs. This was mainly working for civil construction companies, so that was just doing all the book work internally and all budgets and things like that, which led me to be on better pays, which was great, which could help me start to save.

This time is when I got with my ex partner.

We were together for about four years, and we tried really hard to say for a house, and tried to do what we could.

How did you guys meet?

We actually met through work, we were actually working together, and then just kind of fell in and then COVID hit, and funny enough, it just got to the point where it's like, well, if we can't see each other, we may as well live together. So it was kind of like either move in or don't see each other because of lockdowns and everything.

So it was very fast.

I feel like everyone did that right.

Everyone was either like, all right, so we either end it here or we move in.

There's no in between.

I feel like so many of my girlfriends did that, and it worked out for some and it didn't work out for others. But I feel like we had our hands forced really.

Yeah, one hundred percent, But it definitely worked out. We were very happy for those four years. The thing was, unfortunately we had a little bit of trouble with money because our kind of long term personal goals and goals together just stopped aligning, which unfortunately affected our money goals together. So instead of wanting to kind of save long term like me, my partner was a bit more Okay, we've got money, let's kind of spend it, which caused some issues.

Yeah, there's always one spender and one say that in a relationship. I find someone's always got to be a little bit spendy.

Yeah.

It was getting to the point where I was really struggling because I really wanted to buy a house. I was set on it for so long, and it was just becoming a little bit impossible. And then we ended up having that conversation of does our future kind of aligne are we still going in the same direction together? And it's basically when we kind of realized that, Okay, where we're planning to go in the future is not really you lining up anymore.

So as much as we still got.

Along and whatnot, we just decided to go our own separate ways to try and focus on our own goals.

Yeah.

Fair, And that's such a stressful period of time as well, especially because you lived together, so you've got to kind of like wind all of that up and move out. How did that process go?

Yeah, so that was actually quite tricky.

So like basically the money that we did manage to save together we had to split down the middle.

We had to split up our pets, which was hard as well.

Oh no, Yeah, so it's like basically everything got split, and then the money that we did save both ended up going into deposits for rental properties, getting more furniture because everything got split.

So basically the.

Savings that we did have pretty much dwindled to nothing after the split anyway, which was really hard.

I feel like that happens all the time. That's crazy. And then what happened next? Did you end up being able to settle down and start saving again after you set yourself up?

It was kind of really only a small window.

Basically I moved out and I moved into a new house, and then we were still hanging out, like he was coming over probably two or three times a week and bringing the other animal over so the animals could have play dates and stuff.

Cute.

Yeah, and then yeah, basically, probably about four weeks after I moved into my house, unfortunately, decided.

To take his life, which was really difficult.

I'm so sorry. That is literally one of the worst things that you can go through. Ever. Is that something that you saw coming.

You did have depression and anxiety for a lot of years and was on medicine stuff, and it was something that he dealt with day in, day out, and he tried his best to stay on top of it. But yeah, it was definitely a shock and it definitely rocked me. In his family and everyone close to him can't say it was expected, but yeah, so that kind of sent my life into a spiral. So the money that I did have pretty much all got spent because I pretty much wasn't able to go.

To work anymore.

Of course, not that would have sent you for six It would have been so all consuming and overwhelming. And I can't say that I can empathize with that situation because thankfully I haven't been in it. But my god like I can't even begin to imagine how much that would essentially throw you completely out of whack with what's normal and what going on like that would be horrific.

For a couple months, it was just learning to function day to day again, Like it just felt like all I did was sleep, watch TV, and like shower. That was like literally my existence for a long time, trying to find my feet again, just trying to function day to day. It was really difficult, but slowly I knew I needed to go back to work. Got to the point where I couldn't afford my rent and I was asking my mom to help me out just so I wouldn't lose my house.

Yeah wow.

And then I also built up a bit of a debt with zip pay just to try and pay for groceries and just the essentials to get by, just because I wasn't working and I was trying to get by without a wage coming in.

Yeah, of course, And that's like added stress, Like you're already stressed, You're already overwhelmed, and then money troubles get put on top of that. Of course, you ended up with a Zippay debt, Like, of course you ended up overwhelmed and having to ask people for money, like that's so unfair.

It feels like one thing after an Yeah, which.

Definitely sent things into a bit of a downread spiral. So I was struggling quite a lot trying to find my feet again. So I started going back to work a couple of hours a day just to try and get a bit of money coming in again, just so I could try and figure it out and try and get on top of things.

And I remember I was having.

Probably the worst week I had had unfortunately with losing someone. After you have your funeral and everything else, the check ins kind of stop a lot.

And people don't talk about that a whole heap.

So I found a kind of after that kind of period was when I really struggled, and I wasn't really getting much check in from many people besides like my immediate family.

Yeah, that's something that is so important. I feel like so many people they make you lasagn years and they bring dinner over in the first week, and they're checking in and asking if you're okay, and you know, it's all tumultuous, and then there's the funeral and maybe awake, and then.

You know, the week after people are asking how you.

Are, and then all of a sudden it dries up and then you're on your and that is, I would say, one of the hardest parts. And that happens a lot, like you don't need I don't know if you're the same, but one of my girlfriends went through this and she's like, I just don't need another lasagna. I just need someone to call me and ask me to come out for a walk or go for a coffee.

The month after. I don't, you know, need the dinners.

She's like, I can't even eat at the moment, but I do want the walk. And it's so important to just be that friend that's there, you know, pest your friends in those situations, ask them consistently. I feel like so many times we assume, oh my gosh, maybe they want some space, and they'll let you know if they want space.

Right, Yeah, I can one hundred percent agree with all of that.

That is all one hundred percent true. Yeah.

So I was kind of at that point where I was probably having the worst week I had had. I got to the point where I literally hadn't showered in three days and I was just sat on the couch. I was ready to give up my dog because I just felt like I wasn't taking care of her properly, which was really difficult, Like I love my dog so much.

That's when I knew something was kind of not really okay.

And then it just so happened that I had some trades have to come to the house to install an air con in the unit that I was in, and the person I had been dating back in year seven well through my front door to install an air con when I was sitting on my couch in my pajamas, hadn't showered for three days and just not in a good state at all.

No, and You're like, I don't even want trades here, but get it done. I need the air con one hundred percent.

And then for it to be someone I knew that walked through that door, it was quite hard to deal with and it was very confronting, but he had been someone who had actually checked in on me a couple times and sent a couple of messages to see how I was tracking and if I was okay. So he came in and kind of just sat on the floor and had a good talk to me and said, like if I need anything that He actually just lived.

Up the road so oh, that's so sweet.

If I just wanted some company or to get out of the house, that I could go down and see, which was great. From there, we ended up hanging out a little bit and I got back into a bit more of a routine with work, which was fantastic and kind of From there, me and the guy had actually dated in primary school. We ended up forming a close connection and ended up being in a relationship.

From there, Oh my gosh, how cute is that.

I don't know about you, but I'm a little bit hippie dippy like I do believe that things happen for a reason, and I feel like he was meant to walk through the door, and that there was a reason he came into your life at the time that you clearly needed him.

Yep.

And my mom says the exact same thing, because I remember I struggled for a little bit thinking about it being in another relationship again, and I remember crying to my mum saying I was stressed about it, and she said that you know, things and people come into your life when they do to try and help you and to heal you. And I couldn't agree with that more. That was exactly what I needed.

Yeah, it gives me groop bumps.

I'm like, ah, like it was meant to be, Like it's really really beautiful. Feel like there's someone on the other side going like, this is meant to happen for you, and it's meant to be you know, the right situation at the right time, and clearly you needed it.

So I adore that so much. So tell me more, what's life like now?

Yeah, So once we kind of got together, things started to go forward for me really well, and I got back into my studies.

So I ended up finishing my Diploma of accounts.

Oh congrats, queen, How good is that?

Thanks? Yeah, really good.

So that was very exciting and it kind of gag me that motivation to keep going with my career and kind of get back on track again.

And then I went to a new job.

Within the first six months, I was able to get three pay rises.

Of course, you were, oh, my gosh, how good is that?

Yeah, it was pretty insane that We're just very happy with the work I was able to produce and within the timeframe that I'd been there and learning the business and stuff. So yeah, that made a huge difference to my financial situation.

Yeah, of course, and it would feel good as well to go like, actually, do have this. I am on the right track, I'm doing really well.

Yeah.

So then that's when I kind of started picking back up on listening to Cheese on the Money again and taking in the content.

And then that's when.

I paid down all my zip pay debt and got rid of that one, and yeah, just started trying to budget better and get on track, just so I wouldn't end up in the situation that I was in before where I just had no money and couldn't function. So I started building up an emergency fund all of the things.

Yeah, Oh my gosh, I feel like I'm just so proud of you, even though we've never met, that you're back on track and you're back listening to the pod.

So welcome back, friend. We always love having you here. But where are you now? I feel like there's so much that has changed. And in your story you said I'm now engaged. When did you get engaged? That's so exciting.

About a month ago? Roughly?

Oh my gosh, so like super super.

Fresh, super fresh, very fresh.

Oh my gosh, that is literally the best.

And you have a baby on the way. I can't think of a better combo. Are you living on a high right now? Because I feel like I would be yes.

Very much on a high.

And then we've just moved into our first family home together as well, and I also passed my business diploma, so it's all happening in the past couple of months.

Who are you?

She's a queen. I love this so much. Oh my gosh.

So life is definitely looking up, and it's not looking a lot like it used to.

Yes, one hundred percent.

And that's what I can't reiterate enough, Like, there's definitely tough times, and you can fall into a pit and things can be horrible, but you've got things to look forward to as well. Lack can change so fast and you're just gotta stick it out sometimes and get through that tough bit and then there's always things to look forward to.

Yeah, I feel like you've got to go through the hard times to really really appreciate the good times too. But if we step back a little bit, because I feel like some of these things, unfortunately could happen to other people in our community. When you were sitting on the couch and you hadn't showered for three and you were just essentially a mess. Would you have believed someone if they'd sat you down and said, look, money, dice, this is what life is going to look like in just two short years.

No, no, wait, I would have said they were lying through every inch of their body, Like, there's no way I would have believed any of it.

And I feel like that's the best part, right, Like, I feel like so many of us we go through dark times and you just think this is never gonna get better, this is never gonna change. And don't get me wrong, I don't think someone in a really dark situation can just jump up off the couch and.

Be like, it's gonna get better. This is the best part.

But I think sometimes we have to embrace the terrible parts to go through that to come out the other side and go Actually, you can't have the sunshine without a little bit of rain, yep, and it.

Gives you a massive appreciation for those good things as well, Like the good things just feel a f thousand times better now.

I love that so much. All right, I've got so many questions for you. Can we dive into more questions?

Yes, of course, I love it.

All right.

So you mentioned you'd graduated and you passed your diploma. So I want to know what do you currently do for work and how much money do you earn?

So I do accounts for a relining business and I earn about ninety k a year currently.

Oh, very nice.

Ninety k year plus or including Super without Super.

So you've got Super on top of that. That is very very sexy.

And can we just remind people that you're on ninety plus Super and you didn't finish year eleven and twelve.

You dropped out in year ten?

Correct?

That is so slay.

I love this for you so much. Next question I've got for you, what's your big money goal? What are you currently working towards. You just moved into your first family home, which is super exciting, but what's on the horizon.

So we're basically trying to save for a wedding and the rest of our baby stuff.

At the moment, our baby stuff is so expensive it all adds up.

Yep.

So we've got our major ticket items, but now it's just slowly saving up for kind of the rest of the stuff to make sure we have everything before bub get here and then yeah, for the wedding is the next thing.

How did you approach baby stuff, because when I was pregnant, I was like, am I too early to be buying cots? At what point should I be buying a cot? When should I be setting up the nursery? And if we're really honest, my nursery is still not finished and my baby's eleven weeks old.

So how did you go about that?

Did you just.

Start getting things the second you found out you were pregnant or was it something that you've only just sorted out.

It was a little bit of both.

Because me and my partner when we got together, we pretty much decided to combine our finances straight away, and we just had it set up that there's not a his online wage, it's a US wage, so.

Everything is just all combined.

And then so we had our savings goals together, so we knew exactly what we wanted. So we'd been saving to have this baby for quite a long time, so we were quite prepared. So we had lots of money kind of sitting there ready to get all the baby stuff.

Oh I love that, So you're just ready to hit go.

Yeah, So we basically waited and so we moved into the house and then went to purchase all that stuff.

But we had the money ready to go, which was so helpful.

What's been the biggest surprise when it comes to finances and babies? What's I guess surprised you about being pregnant and having to fund this tiny human being.

Doctor's appointments There's so many.

Of them, Yes, and they're expensive. Are you paying out of pocket for ultrasounds too?

Yes?

So out of pocket?

And then if you throw in as well, I had a history of leakemia when I was little.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, so it's like there's a normal doctor's appointments and then there's all that on top of it as well. To make sure my heart's functioning correct is just so much.

Oh my gosh.

So that's not only the expense, that's also a lot of time. All right, let's go to a really quick break on the flip side. I want to talk about debt, investments and good and bad money habits, So guys don't go anywhere, all.

Right, money dis we are back.

I feel like I have learnt so much about and you are just like this epic, stoic but also very shiny, happy person. I can't wait to share more of you with our community. So I want to know. Do you have any investments, If so, what are they? If not, what are the plans.

Basically, I've got my super which is sitting at about forty five nearly fifty k now.

Which is great.

Oh, that's fantastic.

And then we've only just started investing in shares in the past two weeks.

Actually, oh my god, she's doing everything in the last couple of weeks. Shares investments. You are engaged, you're having a baby. What haven't you done in the last few weeks.

It doesn't feel like a whole heap, to be honest, How.

Did you pull the trigger to invest in shares? How did you end up doing that?

Well, so, I'd done it a couple of years ago, but I didn't like how volatile it felt and like spending money on fees, which I didn't like. So I kind of withdrew it all and then put it back into like kind of a longer term savings account. But the more I've listened to the podcast, it's kind of been talking about shares and investing in how it can

I love this so much and maybe we can ride out a bit more of that volatility. But it can feel really scary at the time, right especially when you're saying that you invested a couple of years ago that would have been in a relatively tumultuous time in the market. So I can imagine feeling a bit ikey, especially if that was the first time.

Yep.

One out of ten do not recommend when in doubt, guys, definitely zoom out. Let's talk a little bit about debt. You mentioned before you got into some zip pay debt and then you got out of it. Do you have any debts currently? If so, what are they? If not, how are we staying out of debt?

So I managed to pay off the Zippay and the other debts I had from the time when I lost my ex, which was fantastic, So we got out of all of that.

Only debt we have currently is we've just purchased a new family car yep.

So that cost us about thirteen grand, but we've already brought that down to ten grand.

Now are we Oh my gosh, who are you? You're smashing that down.

And then my partner also had a motorbike loan he got a couple of years ago, which was unfortunately in a loan account, which we weren't able to pay extra to.

Oh isn't that annoying because you're so ready to smash it down and then you feel trapped by it.

Yeah.

So basically what we did we got a another loan from somewhere else, paid that in full, and now we can make extra payments on the loan that we've got.

Now that's smart. Then you're going to get out of debt quicker. I love that for you guys.

Yeah.

So basically, by the time babies here, we should have both of those debts squared and then all we have to pay is our mortgage.

Oh very very cool. All right, you sound like you've got your head screwed on. So I want to know what is your best money habit.

I would have to say budgeting.

Accounts, So that makes sense. I feel like you should be good at that, right.

Yeah.

So I've just got like a little basic spreadsheet that just has our income, what we spend on a regular basis, and then what we want to put away in saving. So basically, each week, it's just we put money for our internet, water, everything else. We know that set amount that we have to move each week for all those direct edits to come out.

Yep.

And then same kind of thing with the savings.

It's a set amount each week that moves out and then by the end of the week we're down to about you know, ten or zero dollars, but all the money's been dispersed how it should.

So did you learn this through going to school and doing TAFE and stuff like that and doing your accounts or is this something that you've always just been really good at.

I think it's a little bit of a mix of both.

Like I was always not too bad at it, but going to tape definitely kind of cemented in exactly how to do it and the importance of it rather than just spending just because you've got it.

I love And if someone is listing and they're like, I don't have a budget, budgets feel overwhelming, like I just don't want to do it.

What would your advice be?

It is genuinely a lifesaver.

Just give it a go, even if you start out with like a non strict budget at the start, give yourself a fair whack of spending money and then just see if you can stick to that amount. My probably worst habit used to be going out and that kind of like fomo.

So yeah, just give yourself a bit of leeway at the start.

And then slowly try and creep it in, and then if you can't afford to do it that week, do it the following week when you get paid again, Like, yeah.

That's fair because there's a cash flow, it keeps coming in over time. I feel like so many times we think we're really restricting ourselves when the reality is like, if you really want something, it might just be not right now, and we can have it in the future. We just need to be better at long term gratification.

I feel definitely having set exactly where you want to be going in life with your personal goals helps to achieve a good budget. Like, we knew we wanted kids, so putting my away four kids was something that was important to us. So if that meant we couldn't get takeaway two nights a week to afford that, that was a sacrifice we were willing to make.

I love that, and I love that it sounds like you and your partner have just gotten on the same page really quickly. You've gone, you know what, this is what we want. This is the life we're creating. And not only do we want this, we're actively going to work towards it and just get it done.

That literally is the best.

Yeah, And it was instant, and it stayed like that this whole time, and that's why it's been such a cruisy and amazing relationship. We've just been on the same page and it's just not changed and it's just fantastic.

Oh good, I love this all right.

You mentioned before that your worst money habit used to be going out and fomo, but what is it now?

It's still probably a little bit of the same.

I've tried to get better with it by actually getting rid of Snapchat and Instagram. That was kind of the worst catalyst for me, because it would be like I'd see my friends going out to the pub or getting a cocktail or going out for dinner, and then I was like, oh, well, I kind of want to go do that too. Now because I don't see that happening all the time like I used to. I don't really get that feeling so much anymore, and I'm quite content just kind of being at home and eating food at home.

Yeah, I love that.

I feel like sometimes we have to like turn our stuff off so that we can focus on ourselves or focus on our own goals.

I've done that a lot recently.

I haven't unfollowed heaps of people, but I have definitely muted a few that I'm feeling like influenced me too much to spend. So I'm like, no, Like, I'll go check your stories if I'm thinking about it. But sometimes it would pop up and then I would just go straight into purchase mode and I just needed to separate myself from that, and that has been brilliant. Like I feel like I'm spending less. My mental health is better because I'm not always feeling like I'm missing out.

I think it's a genius thing to do. And it's free.

Yeah, literally, it doesn't cost a cent.

In fact, it's going to save you money. Yep, money, Diarist.

I feel like I have learned so much about you and this story is incredible, Like it breaks my heart to know what you've been through, but it also sets my soul on fire to know where you're at today, Like knowing that you're going to welcome a baby into the world really soon, and now you're a homeowner and you've found the love of your life. Like, I'm just so overwhelmingly excited for you. But at the start of this episode you said, v I think I'm a Bee.

A plus for you?

I do kind of feel like I'm still a Bee at the moment.

I would like to get better with my investing to feel like I can kind of creep up into that next level. And then yeah, because we're looking at dropping out hours for a better work life balance, that's going to take a lot of rebudgeting and figure things out. So I think once we've got that on track, then I may be able to jump up to that next class.

I feel like you're on the way, though, So that's not anything you have to change, it's just time frames and.

Working towards it. I love that.

That means that you're going to be an A plus in absolutely no time.

I'm hoping, so I know.

So money, Daris, thank you so much.

Unfortunately that is all we have time for today, but I really appreciate it. I cannot tell you how excited I am to share your story with the community and how many people it's going to positively impact.

So thank you so much.

Thank you so much for your time.

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