Gift Giving or Gaslighting?

Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr

Let's get into it.

She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for people who want financial freedom. Today, my friends, it is Friday, which means once again it is time to get our team together and celebrate you our incredible She's on the Money community Today is just greed. She's going to be sharing her favorite money wins of the week

You go first?

Yes, so you say this every time.

Well, I'm just like, I've got to.

Think about it. I didn't see this coming and that she's on the money Friday episode. Can't believe the asked me how I was.

I feel like it's the equivalent of your holding the door open for me appally, Yeah.

Jesse three, how was your week to report? I have no disasters to share?

What?

So it was the throwing the salt over the the three circles that nothing touch wood has gone wrong this week, and that makes me very happy.

So what could I possibly like?

Literally, nothing exciting has happened to me, but nothing has gone wrong, and that in itself is exciting.

That's quite impressive. I'm very proud of you, Jessica. You miss ed how was your week.

Being so good?

I know I'm talking about last weekend, but you know it's still close enough for me. To include in my week really had a weekend yet, Oh that's so true, So like it's fine, what did I do? I've been seeing heaps of friends going to the gym. I got a new tattoo.

I was just with my thigh.

It just says the word tree. It's just a long genie and we'll.

Get to that.

Take your hands off when we're off, Okay, I'll put them back on there Fridays it's a matching.

Tatty with my best friend. I have like a really cute weekend and this week as well just been sunny and and just just being so stoked.

You are literally the most social butterfly I know. Like it's so funny, Jess. The other day, Beck and I were talking about something and I said, oh, yeah, yeah, when I get home, like I'll do X y Z. And was like, oh, I never know what I'm doing after work. And I was like wait, what, Like don't you just go home like like cook dinner, feed pets, couch, stare at wall for three hours And Beg was like no, no, no, I've always got something after work, just never know what

Avocado as the avocado.

It's actually insane. You're a busy little bite.

It's a normal way to live. The way you're living, and you're on here up with it's a bit crazy. It's a bit crazy sometimes. But b how was your week?

My week was really chill. As we know, I feel like I bring it up all the time, but I feel like I have to remind people I'm pregnant, and I'm very pregnant now. So I didn't do much. But on Sunday, actually I did the Tiny Hearts course, so it's like a first aid course for babies and kids, huge, which I was really excited about doing. Full disclosure, that was a gifted experience from Nicki and Rachel who own and run Tiny Hearts, and I just it was something

Firstly, I've got one from Emily who said money Win. I bought it back for nine hundred and fifty dollars in twenty twenty and I just sold it for a whopping two thousand, two hundred and fifty.

I'm sorry, what?

Wow?

Pretty sure? Do we get more content? No, I'd love to know. Oh, I need the pervy details. That is a great asset appreciation wall. We like a Berkin or a Chanel or something. It'd be a desire to BacT. Yeah, one hundred percent. It's not like a Cole's Green bag, even if it was limited edition.

It's not worth that.

No, I don't think so at all.

Next, I've got a money in from Robin who said I've taken up cleaning houses locally for Cash's my second job. Jane put my headphones in and listened to Shees on the Money podcasts while cleaning. I have the five thousand dollars savings plan on my fridge to tick off the different amount, and my goal is to go overseas. It's good exercise, keeps me easy and focus.

We welcome to the cult.

Love it well, I'm Robin. Next, I've got a money in from Melanie who said Bedthread sent me a king size fitted linen sheet by mistake in the color I actually was wanting and I wasn't charged.

Now you just have oversized sheets.

Don't You Just always love like a little extra something, and you've been there and then you reach out, you say hey, I got this, and they go just keep it. I love I love it that it doesn't happen often. Really nice, really nice sheets. Next, I've got a money in from Emily who said, I'm selling my kombocher scoobies that made themselves for free. And I don't know why, but I feel like you know how to make komboch.

A well, I absolutely know that Jess does not make kombucha because it's Scoby Scoby Big. It is Sooby Scooby, like of the Scubat Doo variety. Scuba do do do you mean Scooby Doo? Yes, yeah, okay, she's canceled. Scuba is his government name.

Yeah that is no, it is Yeah, that's so true. Yeah, yeah it's birth.

You can tell she doesn't make kombucha, but like maybe I've given her a crack before. But that is lucrative because if you get a good mother, Scoby like, you have good kombucha for a long time and it's hard to build them like a sour dough starter. Right, yeah, the mother.

There you go.

I've accidentally made butcher a number of times.

Of course you don't clean your pots, babe.

Next, I've got the money in from Dana who said money win. I went into Kmart as we needed to buy a birthday present, and I had all the Christmas clothes out on a rack.

For fifty cents each. Oh money.

We got both my kids a couple of new Christmas shirts and a biggest size that they can grow into, and some gringe pajamas that were originally eighteen bucks but now iffy cents. Found some men's boxer shorts. They were discounted to five cents, so I bought two pairs. You can wear Christmas boxes all year round. Well, my boyfriend does firstive as I love it huge. I found at Best and Less they have really cute Christmas baby outfits that are two bucks at the moment.

Oh my god money.

We bought a couple for my friends who are currently They're very cute. Lastly, I have a money win from Heidi who said I remembered some sneaky stuff discounts that I was eligible for. Next second, sorry the brain a baby, not me remember some sneaky stuff discounts I was eligible for. I managed to get fifty percent of travel insurance that I needed for an end of your trip money win.

Love that.

I just remind us and abuse your friend's staff discounts. Probably don't abuse it abuse gently?

Oh gently?

Yeah, like if your friend has a stuff discount and they are allowed to use it for other people.

Hit the mark, misspecs. I ed, you've got some broke tips? What are they this week?

Okay, so my first broke tip comes from So I'm using an Instagram handle for this one. So Crisp Forrest is sent through an idea for a cheap eat which actually sounds delicious. So it's porridge two dollars for a two kilo bag of oats and cocoa. If you have a financial capacity, you can put it up with some home brand honey and fresh fruits. So I guess, like, you know, oatsch sorriage, Yeah, Choco porridge. I like to say, actually get Choco porridge.

Yeah.

So that's a really good one. And I actually might be trying that.

I share about my oats relatively regularly on social media. You clearly don't look at my stories as much as Jess does, if you feel just being like yeah she does. My go to is literally oats and brown sugar. Like I just I'm so basic. Coco that's fancy, too fancy. We're gonna need some oats and some brown sugar, full stop. End of story.

Yeah no, that's true actually, but it is like a you know that's a home brand cocoa.

Oh yeah, Like it's not even about being expensive. They're just fancier than I am.

That's so bad. It actually really tasty, but I do I won't knock it, that's for sure.

No, it's delicious.

So the next one comes from Chloe, who was suggested freezing pesto in ice cube trays because the jar tends to go off and I I justly can't remember a single time where I've used a whole jar. You throw it out at some.

Point, do you reckon you can freeze tomato paste in the same way. Yeah. IVE always run out of tomato paste, and then I go to use it, and like, I always buy the bougie one, the squeezy one because I'm lazy. And then I'm like, ah, so good, Jess, I've got some tomato paste in the cupboard. And then I like, pull it out, not the cupboard, the fridge. I keep it in the fridge just so everyone knows. And then I see the little bit of mold on the top, real clear plastic, and I'm like, I do not have

You just pop it out, you chuck it in.

I feel like Master Chef too be like here's something over bad earlier.

Yes, yeah, that's good.

So I love that.

Thank you, Choe. Okay, So my one is I actually got this from my house mate and another friend of mine.

Actually I stole this tip that was stolen. I feel like that's very on trend.

You'll realize. You'll soon realize that it is something that I've lived by my whole life. So I want you to know I've never been to a hairdresser ever. So my housemate was telling me that she has saved I think around three thousand dollars in a year because she instead of going to the hairdresser to get her roots

I could cut you a bowl cut. I would have a lot of fun doing that. Let me know when you're ready.

Totally, and it's it's in fashion depending on you.

You're on a Cutbeck's hair, Yeah, that'd be fun, friend, right for a wedding.

It was not.

Like just after he didn't put a bowl on his I did want a bowl.

On his hair.

He just asked me to cut his hair and I said this is a very bad idea, and he so that's okay, I trust you, and then I accidentally get him a ball cut.

You shouldn't have trusted.

No, you shouldn't have. I told him that I would trust Jess as well. I don't know why. She just gives trustworthy.

I don't know.

And then I'd obviously be like, oh, you messed it up. No, that's a big mistake. It's definitely not your competence, like this just must be a once off. And then I'd probably let her do it again again and again. I could trim your ends. Maybe your bangs.

Perfect.

You get a friend like Jess and she can become your like in house hairdresser.

That's good.

You can see me out if that's business coming soon. It replaced me when I'm on mat Leaves. I think I'm going to be unhinged.

That's a good idea. That's gonna be hard, though it will be hard. No, but maybe that'sn't irresponsible to it. But I would recommend if you can, if you feel confident enough, hair will grow back. But you do that your hair, and your hair is fine and looks good like never I mean your head dresser, and look at me, that is criving driving.

Thank you so much. Don't tell my hairdresser. She would have a conniption.

Sorry, I don't know if if you're listening to this and turn it off, and that's it from me. I hope you guys enjoyed that.

I did enjoy that. I'm scared that I'm going to get like a message from voter being like stop saying use boxed. I'm really sorry. As I told you, tune out. That was Beck's tip, not mine, and I will cut from my hair. I promise, I promise. Let's go to a really quick break on the flip side. We're going to be talking about work opportunities for someone who's disabled and has chronic illness. And we're also going to be unpacking something that you slid into our dams about which

Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show.

Now, let's take a listen to this weeks money dilemma.

Hell, this comes up quite often in discussion for him, so I thought i'd ask you. I am disabled, I have multiple chronic illnesses, and I have so much trouble get in the head. I have very little money, huge medical costs, and I you know, I'm out of pension. So if you earn more than a few hours per fortnite, it gets cut and then you're only earning a small

That's a really tough one. I feel like it's super tough because she's obviously unable to do a lot of the things that you know, the people that we know who are disabled or have chronic illness do like they will often do like VA work or like work from home because obviously it's a little bit more flexible. But she's unable to do that, which would be honestly so frustrating for her. Like I'd be rocking a hard place as well.

I think it's a really it's a really really important question, and I feel like while we might not necessarily have the exact answer where we I feel like we usually do, it's a really important thing to not silence someone like this because we may not have the immediate answer.

For one hundred percent, let's talk about I think this is.

A really, really, really important conversation to be having and for there are probably so many people out there that are struggling in the same way, and you know they would love to hear about this as well, that at

Because you're still a smart, capable human being. You just have some restrictions on the way that you work. And sometimes you might be one hundred percent fine to go to work for an entire day and then you know the next week you're completely out for the count, and like that happens. But you are smart and you are capable, and you can totally do it, and you'd be an asset for anyone, but you need that level of flexibility.

I did that.

But the frustrating thing I was getting at before was it's just so annoying how you try to get ahead. You might find a job that's like, oh, yes, like it's all good, Like you can have as much flexibility, just tell us when you're coming in or not. But that then in packs your pension payments and it impacts your pension payments so significantly. But also you're earning next to nothing to begin with, so it's like being kicked while you're down. You're like, is this not like better

This literally just came to me. But you know, she obviously is very well spokenly, extremely intelligent, and just like, I don't know, but maybe there's obviously, like for us, we have a career, Like I know you have other things on the side, and I do too, but we kind of have a career in audio, podcasting things like that. So I'm sure there's someone somewhere that would be so

Does it make sense?

Yeah, I was just like mulling it over, and I thought, the only other thing, obviously we don't know the realm of the limitations that you have, but if you can't use your hands, maybe something around audio. As you were saying, narration work voice work, something like.

That you're working in a call center or something like if they had remote jobs where you get to hands the phone have a chat with people. You sound friendly, I would want to chat with you. Yeah, voice acting, voice acting.

And then the other suggestion that I could make, and I don't know how hopeful and hopeful this would be, but maybe looking into technological aids. You know, there's so much that you can do nowadays with AI, with voice to text, like, there are lots of things I think that hopefully will start to make it easier and easier for people with varying levels of abilities to enter workforces

But yeah, I'm really.

Sorry, I feel not super qualified to answer, and that's the best kind of suggestion that I could give, But just.

Know that you don't have to have every answer gests. I feel really grateful that they reached out to us and thought, yeah, these girls might know the answer like, that's really kind that you did. Like, I just feel very trusted in these situations. But if I were you, i'd reach out if you've got like a case worker or someone who manages like your pension, giving them a buzz and being like, hey, what are people doing to you know, earn a little bit extra cash and stay

Walk off like yeah, I just I good night sleep.

Yeah, I want to have a good night sleep. I don't want to create drama. I don't need beef with anybody, but like I'm a heir yours? Okay, all right, here is the DM that we got this week. High she's on the money. I have a money dilemma. A family member offered to buy me present okay, and suggested something I don't really need. I thanked them, but told them, look, I didn't really need that, but suggested something of similar value that I would prefer and use, but also I

I don't.

Yeah, I mean I do kind of get it. Like I've had people in the past who have been like, you buy it and I will just pay for it after so that you can get what you want to get, which I do like the age to send you a link. Yeah, exactly. I think in this situation, if you can't afford to wait until they pay you back, I wouldn't risk it. I know it's nice getting a present, but it's also like it's funny because I advice usually is communication, Just communicate,

Wow, you're really diverse in these responses over the last few weeks.

Thank you.

I'm very worldly, but I would yeah, definitely mention that and if it's something that you know, maybe they're not even thinking about that when they're suggesting you buy that yourself and then I'll pay you back. But if they knew that you were strapped, then maybe they'd offer to come with you or I don't know, but yeah, this is a very interesting lemmark.

Yeah, the refusal to give them a gift card is what's weird to me. Like, I can understand if they maybe didn't want to give you the cash or whatever, but to me, the gift card was kind of like the middle ground option.

Yeah, it feels so awkward.

Yeah, the only thing that I can say is maybe they are also type for cash, in which case.

Why are we buying this present? Well, yeah, woy me buy me this present?

Or I guess for our listener, you could say, oh, like I understand if maybe why don't we go in a couple of weeks or something like that. The fact that they don't always pay them back is a point of concern for me, because what if our listener went and bought the present and the person never paid them back, and so they've bought this present that they can't afford, that they didn't necessarily entirely need on the premise that this person wanted to give it to them, but then

It's much more complicated than it needs to be.

I think either you know, as you say, kind of communicate with the friend and say, oh, like I actually like can't really do that, you know, not in the place financially to go out and buy it. Would love to go out with you and get it together and make a day of it. And you know, if they kind of are avoidant, maybe go, oh, if you're not in the position right now, we can put it on ice, you don't have to get me a gift, or we can do it in a few weeks or something like that.

Maybe the person already like was gifted that gift that they suggest because or like maybe they found it on special or something, because she's like all the whoever already in was like I found something of similar value, which I think is very respectful to suggest something in the same But maybe initially the person offering the gift was like, oh, this is so much cheaper than the r RP.

Like they offered to buy recommended retail price. Oh, thank you, but they offered to buy a present. They didn't gift you a present that you didn't need. Yes, in which case if they already had it, Like this is just me, But I'm so good at cludo, so it's not.

That's true.

That a lot of sense.

Okay, I think one, Oh.

My gosh, thank you so much, Beck. I wish I could do that. I don't have the cash in my account. End of story. Like I literally like I just don't have the cash in my account for that at the moment. Like that's all good, Like we can do it another time, or like let's just put this, you're right, let's put it on an ice or whatever we want to talk about.

Yeah, exactly.

That makes me feel entitled. I hate it. I hate this whole concept you're giving issue, Like, just don't get me a present. It's all good, like high five me or something and then we can go away. We also said, have you ever told someone you would prefer to not receive their gift as you just don't need it. Seventy two percent said yeah, honesty is always best, and twenty eight percent of you said no, that sounds ungrateful. I

Right.

You gave me the pen, and you felt gratified that you got me a present that I liked. I felt thought about and heard, and I felt like you really cared about me. I'm probably going to regift the pen, Yeah, because the presence served its purpose. Yes, because ultimately a present isn't about the item. It's actually about the thought and the feeling and the exchange of a gift.

Right.

Yeah, But to me it sounded like the family member. It said, Hey, I want to get this thing.

What do you think? In which case I think it's pretty reasonable to say, Oh, that's why i'd say no, because you haven't got it yet. Yeah, so there's no financial implication there. But yes, if you gave it to me because you're already bored.

It, I love it.

It's the best thing I've ever got. You bought me a ferbie. I love furbies. Yeah, creepy, creepy, but you know what I mean. Anyway. We then said, all right, if you said yes, so you told somebody that you'd prefer to not receive their gift. How did they react? You guys said, some of my family members respected it. Others bought me practical gifts that I still didn't need. They kept persisting, saying no, no, no, you'll love it,

Yes, good call.

I didn't even think about that.

Like, hey, I told you what I wanted, you can go get that, and then if you don't want to go get that, you could just give me the cash to go get that. Yeah, that's a good point.

No reimbursement, Like, you just send me the money and then I'd do it.

Yeah, good call. Some others said they were really happy that they didn't need to spend the money. They thought it would be thoughtful but when I said, don't worry, they were actually ilated. They asked for a link to buy the specific gift that I actually wanted, so that I knew I was getting something that I loved and they felt better about that that way. Someone said it was my sister and she was kind of expecting it.

Yeah.

So then we said, have you got any other thoughts? Give us your two cents and they said that family, remember, I feel like is gaslighting them.

Yeah.

Someone else said, that's not the essence of a gift. The best gifts are thoughtful, unprovoked, and meaningful. Someone said, I wouldn't say it's ungrateful on their part, but it's inconsiderate of the other party for sure. Someone else said, ask her to organize and pay for a lunch or an experience together, so you get a positive experience together and you don't even have to talk about the item.

That's so fair in shocking news back, suggestion of communication once again the expedience.

We'll see what happens next week. Responses are all right, guys. I think that is more than enough for this week. I hope you all have a really beautiful weekend and we'll see you guess what I'm gonna say right nearly for a money diaries, have a good weekend, guys.

Bye bye, guys.

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