Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money the podcast Millennials who want financial freedom. Today, my friends, it is Friday, which means it is time to get our little team together and celebrate you, our incredible She's on the Money community today, Miss beck say it is going to be sharing some broke tips. Miss Jess Gricci is off sick because she had the audacity to get her wisdom teeth out. So guess what we've replaced her with a baby. Harvey
is here. Yeah, thank you, Harvey. He's absolutely ready to share some favorite money wins and confessions from the community, and we're going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week we're chatting all about aprs versus interest rates, and we're going to be unpacking something you slid into our DMS about which this week we're talking about having to pay when you pull out of
a wedding due to pregnancy complications. I feel like that's going to be so spicy, and as somebody who has experienced pregnancy, I'm probably going to be also spicy. True, But Beck, yes, how was your week? What have you been up? It was so good? Why so good? Well?
Okay, so I had a really lovely weekend.
It was.
It was a pretty big one and I think I was just craving a big one, you know.
But also a big weekend. I think I was.
I think it's been really chill for too long and like obviously, like you haven't really been working that much. And I had a big weekend, saw a lot of friends and last Weeken and I saw Missy Higgins.
I'm sorry where because like you didn't call me and tell me she was around. She's literally my favorite. I am I know every single word to every single one of her songs and I have done since like grade seven. You would have loved it. I'm obsessed with her. You can still see her.
She's coming back in June, and I think she's like going around Australia, but for some reason, she's playing in Melbourne and June again playing the Palais, you know, such a sick location. It was really nice and I was like, I don't venture that way, but for Missy Higgins.
I'll go as far as I need to go to Missy Higgins. Yeah, Slay, I love that really amazing, So thank you so much. I was a really good week. How was your week? My week was good. I've just been out here parenting. I mean, I'm not the first person in the entire world to have a business and you know, have a child, but it genuinely sometimes feels like I'm trying to make it work and like what do I do and how does it work? Which is
why Harvey's here today. Actually, I didn't want to be recording with him all the time, because like I do like to separate work and life, but I double booked myself and I feel like that's one stereotypical Victoria but two like, you just do what you've got to do,
So bring your baby to work day. Absolutely, And I'm very lucky that I work in a situation where that's completely possible, because like so many parents could never But I just lump my responsibilities onto you guys, and it works well for me.
It does.
Actually, we're begging. We're begging to take care. I got in trouble the other day actually because I came into the office and people are like, where's Harvey, And I was like, he's at home with my very confident husband. Why are you asking They're like, oh, because we wanted him here. They weren't actually questioning why I wasn't looking
after my baby. Hello, you've talked to that conclusion. I mean, I've I'm very used to that kind of experience in the office for a few years now, because we bring Lucy in and so like in the office, I have been known for a very long time as just Lucy's mom, Like, who's Victoria. Nobody cares about Victoria. I get it. So that experience wasn't you. But now I'm Harvey's mum.
Oh yeah, okay, okay, Well now you're like people in the office a steel like Lucy's mom some of Harvey's mom. I feel like now you're just like you're even less seen, and I'm sorry about that, but I will see you.
I'm all right with that because I'm seeing a lot of other places and sometimes it's just really nice. Yeah, humbled. Oh yeah, just keeps me grounded, you know, yes, But speaking of humboldt, have you got some like broke tips for us so that we can keep ourselves humble? Yeah?
I actually do, actually do, And I am not going to be as rogue this week.
You've decided to like take a little steppy step back.
Honestly, I think next week I will be rogue again. But I figured where for jess to be here because I feel like she really enjoys them.
Yeah. Like that video, and I don't know if you guys saw it, I'll probably post it again to my stories. It's just Jessica cackling like a little witch. She just could not stop. We stopped recording because she was cackling so hard and she couldn't stop. It was great. It was so sweet. Have you thought about going into comedy because you're a funny girl? Oh my goodness, that's so cute.
I feel like when you're a regular person, you're just like you can be a funny person, but when you're a comedian, it's like you're funny.
You know, you're like proper funny. Oh that's very sweet. I'd pay as much as you paid to go see me see Higgins. Oh my goodness, I just really like you. That's so sweet.
Maybe that's a broke tip. Get into comedy.
Make your friends pay to seat Yeah.
Exactly, no matter what you're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, pay to play, baby exactly. All right, what have you got? Okay, So I have, as always two from the community, one for myself. So we'll start off with Taylor. This one's like from Taylor, but also from my girlfriend, who gave me the exact same bit of advice just over the weekend. So they both say, get your fruits and veg from farmers markets, the local markets that my partner goes to
pran market. She paid thirty five dollars for a huge box of fruit and veg and she made like this soup that will last the entire week. That's a whole week of dinners. I'm pretty sure it's for her and her housemates. So a whole week of dinners for two people. I feel like you could probably even get more out of it. She chucked a lot into this soup. But you could really extend this. This could last weeks conceivably, so giant box of fruit and vege. Go to your local farmer's market.
Farmer's Market's also really wholesome. That's an activity, that's a free activity, even if you're not planning on purchasing anything. Back. Next Sunday morning, you and I could go to the farmer's market. We could make our own coffees, take them, wander round. Feel wholesome. That's so wholesome.
It is really wholesome. It's so good for the mental health. Like I don't know what it is about, what's the science, but.
I think it's actually getting out in their fresh air. Yeah, probably that's what it is.
Like that's actually scientifically proven to help you. I really love that. So that is one broke tip. The other one comes from Megan or Meghan. I'm sorry I'm saying this wrong. This is very clever. No need for dry shampoo use Bi carves soda instead. She pops it in a little salt shaker and it's instant dry shampoo. So I've never had to use dry shampoo. We don't really know how it all works, to be honest with you, but I'm.
Obsessed with dry shampoo, and I feel like that is a great hack.
Yeah, Like it's I mean, I don't know how much it costs, but it's you know, bike up soda I'm assuming is less than hand bugs of box.
Yeah, Like dry shampoo is expensive. Like my can of dry shampoo's at least twenty dollars. Well, there you go. That's a money wins very expensive. For my goodness. I mean, my hack when it comes to like keeping your hair clean is not using dry shampoo. Because I literally will use dry shampoo to avoid washing my hair, right, so you could just wash your hair too, sure, Like, don't
get me wrong, dry shampoo can save the day. But when you're Victoria Vine and you've just been using it so that you don't have to do the rigmarole of washing, Yeah, just wash your hair, babes, just wash it. Do you know how much better you feel when you wash your hair? Like, you know, when you've been putting it off and you're like, oh, I feel a little bit greasy, I'm a bit gross, Like to me, dry shampoo doesn't make you feel incredible.
It makes you look good, but like I don't feel fresh. Yeah, sometimes do you need to have a shower?
Totally get that. Totally get that. Sometimes I like to make myself so gross so that I can have everything shower.
You just like go full rogue. You're like, I Am going to not shower for a week. What are you talking about?
And I also did like a nope shampoo thing for a while and it was really nice when I finally washed.
So you are really concerning me. If Jess was here, she'd be cackling, I would hope. So hopefully she's listening to this.
I just hope you crackling back for next week, so you do so help please Victoria, mainly because I'm really going broke here. So the next broke tip is obviously from myself. This one I have done in the past, and it obviously depends on the person and where you're at in your life and things like that. But I was, you know, as usual, really broke at another.
Point in my life.
And so what I did was I signed up to a clinical trial. There was one that was like three you get like three fifty dollars calls gift fouches if you just attend three times. All I did was I went to this like UNI, and I sat in an MRI and I literally just had straws in my mouth and.
Had straws in your mouth. I did. I had to drink milkshakes and look at a screen. You had to drink milkshakes.
I don't know.
I didn't understand it. I didn't understand the science people. I was in the milkshakes.
There was a strawberry one, a chocolate one, but then also a carrot juice and an orange juice, and it all sounds like do.
You know what the name of the study was. I'm so sorry, I don't remember, but I do know. They're just like, we're just testing our brunch options.
Yeah.
I couldn't really figure out. I think they were trying to figure out was there something in the juice. No, they were.
Trying to figure out like satisfaction if you are, like how you perceive food if you're That's the other thing I didn't. I couldn't eat at the beginning of the day, So satisfaction based on if you ate the start of the day and if you didn't something like that. It was but Anyway, So this three times, I was there for like twenty minutes each time, and sometimes.
I go, my life's really boring. I'm gonna call Beck, Like, honestly, you've always got something that you've been doing that is super interesting and really left field, Like I cannot go. Oh, I'll call Beck and see if she's had like an interesting week at work. Sure, not like any of my other friends. You're like, So I went to this university and I drank carriage juice, like what? And you got paid for the I certainly did, and that was enough and there was nothing in the carrot juice.
Not that I'm aware of, but I just I always remember leaving there feeling like really a bit sickly. But anyway, because they would fill me to the brim with liquids.
Couldn't be vague because you had to drink some milkshakes. No, that's true. And so this is the thing.
So if you just google clinical trials, it was another one that I was very close to doing, but something came up. I'm not sure it was, but you stay in hospital for like three nights, you get like literally four thousand dollars. They're just trialing a new drug or something like that. So honestly, if you're out there and you have if you're healthy, don't you're not immuno compromised. You don't even have to be like in a load of money.
It's really good, you don't.
You don't have to necessarily be like in a quote unquote healthy weight range, because I'm like, you know, I'm like to think of myself as a little bit chunky.
No, she's full of life. Oh, she's full of life. Faye, chunky, thank you, chunky butt funky. That's so nice, thank you so much. Like what is that about. We don't call ourselves chunky in this house? Oh I see, no chunky butt funky, chunky bit funky. But yeah, this is the thing.
So I would I would recommend googling it and you can go through like an eligibility test and just find out what's good. That's so cool, Paul, And yeah, just you know whatever, it's really good. It's a really good quick way to make some money. That's a genuinely good broke tip.
Thank you. So, like, if you are broke, you can get some cash and at the end of the day, like saving money on stuff is good, yes, but usually when you're broke, you don't have money to save.
Exactly exactly ideal, and you're also helping the resigned to the community.
I don't understand it. You're helping someone out there. I love it well. I would usually right here segue into Miss Jess Gricy sharing some community money wins and confessions. So, Beck, would you like to see what I have pulled out this week? Please? It's good? Are you ready? So ready? I have picked a few that have stroked the Shees on the Money ego because of Yesley. All right, So the first is from Eliza Jane. She said, a money loss for us and the confirmation of why we are
changing over to the Shees on the Money way. We are away for the long weekend and I thought we had a lot more money saved for it than we actually did. So in the hotel reception, I had to scrimp and work out what money was where to pay for the hotel. Having things in accounts both of us can't see, left us almost canceling our accommodation and just heading home. My husband was not one hundred percent on
board with She's on the Money to begin with. Now he sees how transparent and beneficial it's going to be for our future. Money for me has always had a bad feeling. I have generational money trauma from my parents who lived way beyond their means and should have been able to retire now, but continue to live outside what they earn. I'm trying so hard to change this narrative
for my kids. Isn't that cute? I mean, I'm really sorry that you went through that, because that just would have felt like trash, like, you know, going away for the weekend and then realizing you didn't have the cash and just being like why are we doing this? Like, but I hope you still enjoyed your weekend totally. I'm so glad your husband's now on board. Like, it's so
hard sometimes to convince someone of a passion that you have. Yeah, it's like, you know, Beck, I've been talking to you about something for so long and you finally get on board, and then we're trying to get our other friend who has never heard of it, Like that's going to be challenging to convince them. Yeah, so satisfying. It's so satisfying when you finally get them across the line, because you know it's for the greater good. Lily says, I'm a horrible,
horrible spender and it runs in the family. I made the ambitious goal of saving ten thousand dollars this year. I had a few bumps in the road with birthdays and overspending, but I am now only one thousand dollars behind my ideal on track goal. I'm so proud of that. That's so good, And it's like literally May, it's May, But like, isn't it cool that she's tracking it? Yeah, and just going I'm only one thousand dollars behind the goal that I've set, so she knows where she's at,
where we need to be. Really, you've got so much time to make it up. You're still going to get there. Isn't it cool? That's really cool? Tracking God on your money win? All right? Next one we've got is from Shantell. She said it's a relatively small money win. But I found organic eggs for half price at five bucks reduced in that little sale section at Woollies they sometimes have, considering it's usually about twelve bucks a dozen. I may have gotten a couple of dozen, and I partly stocked
my freezer with some veggie slice for another time. Nice, isn't that good. Yeah, very genius, genius, Melissa, here you go. I've got a few of these. I'm so excited. I just got a little bit carried away. This week, Melissa bit the bullet and I paid off a fifteen hundred dollar credit card. Whilst my savings did take a hit, it feels nice to have one thing completely gone.
That's so good. Good for you, babe, you.
Know us as a queen sus because do you know what her comment was? Four words? This was the entire comment after pay gone forever. Oh yes, lay queen, that's so good, and that I have two more for you. Just I couldn't stop. I'm really sorry, so Annabelle said. My partner and I have started shopping at the markets like your broke tip, and if we can't find what
we want, we go to Audi. We keep all the receipts and then go onto the coals app and put in what we bought closest possible, obviously, and whatever the difference is, we put that money in a separate savings account. Nice. Well, it didn't take long for us to save a decent amount, and we were able to celebrate my partner's graduation with a really nice dinner from all those savings. So good. Yeah, I really like that. I like how it kind of
makes sense as well. It's like you're actually going in and transferring the difference between what you would have paid and what you did pay so that the savings add up. But you can see it like it feels good as well, and we all love a feel good money. Oh yeah, like not just like, oh yeah, saved some money. I think, like, no, she's added it up and then she could have a
bougie dinner. Yes, slay. I love this. And then the last one I've got is from Tara and Tara says, I used a bulk payment from a client for my side hustle to pay out all my remaining debts, get six months ahead on my phone bill, and contribute significantly to my emergency fund. That's so good. Must have been a nice amount of money, Tara. She said, I also googled product for this client at four am and achieved a significant discount, so my overhead's dropped and I had
a little more profit. So I pre bought three weeks worth of meat to freeze so my kids and I don't run out down the train. These are huge money wins. For me after a few months of transitional wages, moving expenses and living really lean. Isn't that cool?
Yeah?
Really cool. She finally had a big win. Like it was like that light at the end of the tunnel. She was like, Oh, finally I can get rid of my debt, I can pay off my phone bill. And she got ahead stocked up the phraser so that she's comfy in the future. Is that not the best? I just love people. I love people. I love it anyway.
That's all I've got from the community. I reckon, we go to a really quick break and on the flip side, beck we're going to be talking all about aprs versus interest rates, and we're going to unpack something you slid into our DMS about which this week is about having to pay when you pull out of a wedding due to pregnancy complications. So guys, don't go anywhere.
Welcome back, guys. Here's our money dilemma.
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve that. She's on the Money Team is here to help. Every week we tackle your both big and small to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording, and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Hey, girls, my money dilemma is about aprs versus interest rates. I have a loan at the moment, and I've had it for a couple of years. I've now started to learn a little bit more education around finances, and I've decided that I think it's best to consolidate it into a new loan provider with a lower interest rate, so I'm not paying as much long term. I'm just a little bit stuck on the difference between an APR and
an interest rate. My current provider has a forty seven percent APR, which seems quite high from the research I'm doing, but I'm not too sure.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, Okay, buckle up, you guys APR.
I am buckled up, Becky.
Are you answering this hut interest rate and APR?
Nice?
The difference is substantially substantial, and so I think, now, Victoria, I kind of want to test you here.
Is this like when you're like writing your English literature examining Grade twelve and you're just trying to meet word count. Yes, that's the vibe I'm picking up from you.
Yeah, it's a little bit like that at the moment. But because I've taught you so much, v I feel like I want to hear you answer this one, just to see if you've been paying attention.
If I've been paying attention to I love that. Thank you so much for this opportunity. I have been away for a while, but I also am a little bit of a finance girly, So let's just backtrack a little bit. And APR is the total annual percentage race, and this is the rate that can be used to calculate the cost of a loan, taking into account the reducing balance. So obviously you're paying it off during the year of the loan amount expressed as an annual rate, so how
much are you going to pay in a year? So for these purposes, the cost of the loan is exclusive of fees, So we don't want to talk about the fees and stuff like that as well, because otherwise we're
getting a little bit too complicated. APR it's a term that's often used by mortgage providers, so like banks or credit unions or even credit card providers, and they calculate it by applying the rate to your loans, reducing balance over time, and then standardizing on an annual basis regardless of the actual term, so regardless of how long the
mortgage is for. Right. So APR can be used for like comparison purposes, but it can't actually be used to calculate the amount of interest you will pay each year because that's actually impossible. Simple interest, or your interest rate, on the other hand, is the interest that you pay your lender on top of the actual amount that you borrow. So like that may it's very simple. That's why it's called simple interest. And the simple interest rate is a
fixed percentage of that lump sum amount. Right, So what do you need to know about this? You're gonna always find beck that the APR appears high for short term loans, but for long term loans it's lower. So it can actually be quite confusing if you're taking out a loan across several decades. So what you would usually do when taking out a mortgage, which our community member has done or is looking at. Right, So, for example, if your APR on a five hundred thousand dollars home loan is
five percent. You'll also need to consider the total interest percentage, so the tip, which is one hundred percent, So like you're going to pay one hundred percent of the interest, you're not going to get off the hook for any of it. That means that you'll end up paying one million dollars total over a thirty year mortgage. So for a five hundred thousand dollar loan with your interest rate at five percent, you'll end up paying for thirty years a total back to the bank of a million dollars.
Does that make sense? So we're calculating how much the house was, so five hundred grand, you might go, oh, my purchase price was five hundred thousand dollars for this apartment or this house. But then we actually need to look at, well, how much interest are you paying back, because like the sales stick her on the front of the property. Sure, that's not what you're actually paying. You're actually paying interest, and that comes out at a million dollars.
And this is what she's talking about. And this is why I think, in a very long way, I want to draw attention to this because so many times we just go, oh, my house was five hundred grand, yay, and you go great, and your interest rate, Oh, I got a really good interest rates, you know, five percent. At the moment, you go, well, what does that actually mean? Like, what's the interest rate going to mean that I pay
back over the life of the loan? And most people will get a thirty year mortgage, right, So if I've got a thirty year mortgage, how much interest am I going to pay over that period of time? Beck, The answer is half a million dollars.
That is outrageous.
Well, it's good to know as well, and it's good to know that our community member is not just looking at an interest rate going how does this? You know, worker, do I feel comfy with it? She's actually doing the math and going okay, well, over the long term, this means this. So by contrast, simple interest is like a fixed rate, so it would be like that five percent. So you go and get a five hundred thousand dollar loan and it's five percent, and it's really easy to
work that out. So let's say you take out like a ten thousand dollar personal loan with a six month term and an interest rate of eleven percent.
Right.
The formula would then be you do ten thousand dollars times eleven percent, so point one to one, and then you do times point oh five, Sorry, then you do times point five because it's for half a year. That equals five hundred and fifty dollars. So that is the simple interest that you would pay over the length of that loan. So to take out a ten thousand dollars personal loan at eleven percent for six months you're paying that, you're paying five hundred and fifty dollars for that privilege.
Sure does that make sense? So like there's simple interest for short periods of time, then there's the tip and that's for a longer period of time. So do all mortgage brokers and lenders look at this? Not necessarily, She's doing a lot more research than many of us will do. It's important to understand forty seven percent does feel quite high, but again the market is a little bit off, and what I would be doing is going and talking to a mortgage broker. So it sounds like you're doing a
lot of this yourself. Your mortgage broker is going to be your best friend. And I mean not so subtle plugged to the girls that Zella money like, I obviously am obsessed with that business because it is my own and we talk to people every single day about this stuff. So go and talk to somebody who does this and it is their bread and butter, and they do it and could do it in their sleep. To make sure that you're not getting overwhelmed by terms that aren't as important,
I would say as the outcome. The outcome is, Becky, you're comfortable with the interest rate and how much you're going to be paying for the property over the long term doesn't make financial sense to you, and you might say yeah, or you might say absolutely not. And that's where a mortgage broker is going to help you to
really simplify things. Do that makes sense because I feel like maybe our community member is getting into a really deep rabbit hole of like, Okay, well this means this, and that means that now I'm overwhelmed and I have analysis pro system. You don't deserve that during your home buying journey. We want it to be stressed free totally.
The only thing I'm kind of confused about isn't APR different to TIP yes and can you choose between the two.
You can't choose between the two. Just like methodologies of calculating things like oh, it's not. You know, you get a choice of paying one or the other. Sure, Like the bank is going to give you an interest rate. An APR is just an annual percentage rate, and so she would have calculated that herself. More often than not. It's not something that we usually provide clients with unless they ask for it, And it's because of analysis paralysis.
It's too much information, it's too much information overload, and it doesn't usually serve us. You know, that's where my brain would be at. It's not necessarily like one is better than the other. It's just, you know, I could look at your investment portfolio and what you already own and calculate lots of different things from it. Does it
mean good or bad things? Not necessarily. You also have to kind of like zoom out and look at the market and be like, okay, well the interest rates right now are higher, Like you're not going to get away with it for cheaper unfortunately, Like there are no mortgage facilities out there offering a two percent interest rate anymore. I wish they were. I already would have gone to
them myself. Personally, I think it's important to remember as well when we're looking at mortgages and when we're looking at, you know, making big purchases, sometimes relying on the professionals is going to make you a lot more comfortable with that journey. Like I know, Beck, if I sent you down the rabbit hole of buying your first home, you would get analysis paralysis because I know you well enough to go. Beck would be trying to look at everything
and make sure it's okay. Whereas if I had stepped in and said, all right, well let me help you through this and go, yeah, that's fine, Beck, don't worry about this, do worry about that. Look at this. You know, when you go in, here's a list of all your first inspection things. You're just going to be way more empowered. Yeah, Like, go and get a professional on your team. Because you don't pay your mortgage broker. We get paid by the banks.
The banks are going to pay us when I get you your loan, and it's in my best interest to make sure you're in the best possible position. Yeah, So definitely use a service like a mortgage broker, whether it is us or is somebody else. I think it is just really important to have a professional on your team when you're making arguably the biggest financial decision of your life.
M absolutely, and then because you're spaking to a mortgage broke up, there's anything in what Victoria just said. If you say you're speaking to them in person, you can ask as you go.
Yeah, just call them and be like, hey, VD, so I don't need to talk to you, and hopefully they know what you're talking about. They won't, but that's okay. That is solid advice. Let's move on because I've got one that I think it's going to be pretty simple from you and I beck, Yeah, are you ready? Well, you received a DM this week and it was frustrating for me. Anyway, let's hear it, Hi, she's on the money. My friend needs advice. A while back, she was invited
to an interstate wedding. She knew she'd be thirty five weeks pregnant on the date of the wedding, but as it was a close friend, she got the green light from her OBI and rsvped yes excitedly. She booked her accommodation and had every single intention of going. But fast forward to the current time, it's looking like her due date's going to be pushed up, so her OBEI doesn't really want her traveling. She's had to tell the bride
she can't make it anymore. It's about a month out from the wedding, so it's not super last minute, and it's as early as she could tell her. The bride's reply has us shook. She's requesting her friend reimburse her for three hundred and seventy five dollars as she said she can't afford it, and she's already paid for her and it's too late for her to invite somebody else.
She said, my friend didn't take her wedding seriously and should if RSVPID know from the beginning, is it really okay to ask guests to pay the cost if circumstances change and they can't attend anymore, should my friend pay? What's the etiquette here? We need other opinions, as we think it's a bit ridiculous. This is really mean? Actually is it mean?
It's like, I mean, I totally get it if she kind of like didn't even check. She was just being like, oh, I can definitely do that. Yeah, I'll be super pregnant, but I'm just gonna wing it. I'm just gonna like but she like checked with her obi everything was all good. She had absolutely no control over this whatsoever. I think it's so mean to be like, well, you gotta pay. Also, it's a month out still, like there's plenty of time to be like, literally anyone here, Hey, can you bring
a friend? Like literally anyone? You get anyone in a month's time? You know what I mean?
Yeah?
No, I agree. The other thing I would say is, can we just step back back? If you go to a wedding, how much you're spending on the present? Is it three hundred and seventy five dollars not? Hopefully not? I would hope not. That's a lot of money. Yeah, in my head, Like, there's so much wedding etiquette right, like, and I think it depends on your friendship group and your circumstances and like what you can afford, because to
be honest, you don't owe anybody a gift. If you've been invited to their wedding, you go to celebrate their love and that's it. Like, I don't think that people should be expecting gifts. I don't know. I specifically called out at my wedding, and this is just because I felt like we were already in a privileged position. I was like I don't want gifts. Thanks, but I just think that that's not fair. I already lived with my husband. I don't need you to set up my house. Like
all of this is, you know, all good. Thanks though, yeah, and everyone's different, but like three hundred and seventy five dollars is not what she would have paid anyway, like for the wedding to attend. Like I'm assuming because sometimes you go all right, well, like it's one hundred dollars ahead or whatever for food and beverages, Like I'm just gonna pop that in a you know, wishing World card.
Or maybe she was real savvy and was a bit of a she's on the money and went down to like DFO and bought really beautiful photo frame or like did some art for her herself, and like sure that was the gift. Yeah, Like, I don't know. There's just a lot going on here for me because obviously at thirty five weeks when I was pregnant, I could do a lot of things. I did have a lot of complications, which meant that every day I had to check my blood pressure and that would then dictate what I could
do that day. So if my blood pressure was good, great, you can go to Taylor Swift, Victoria. I went to Taylor Swift and partied my butt off at thirty eight tweeks pregnant. Like, you can do it, I promise, but you've got to you know, know yourself if your obstetrician has said absolutely not sorry, but you just can't do it. Yeah, Like you're putting your baby at risk, exactly, So that's complicated to begin with. But then for her friend to
invoice her with a month's notice. Please don't get me wrong, but you're confirming menu items, you're confirming head count as somebody who's gotten married are two weeks before. Yes, So like I think that's enough notice. Yeah, So I would be like, also, is this not one of the things that you allocate for? Like I remember planning our wedding and going cool. You know, I think we had one hundred and twenty two people at our wedding. Beck, I just knew that on the day, one hundred and twenty
two people is a lot of people. Something for someone is going to go wrong and they might not be able to attend. That's a cost I just have to cover. If you can't afford to cover one or two people who can't attend. Why are you spending so much on the wedding to begin with? Are you financially putting yourself out? And we need think about this, Yes, I don't know. I just feel like if it's so much money that you can't afford it to not be reimbursed, your wedding could have been put off for a bit.
Longer, yeah, or just like you don't have to spend that much, you know what I mean? But also like she's already paid for accommodation and everything.
Like I just feel like this poor person, she's probably out for accommodation in a deposit or whatnot. And then if you think about it, like three hundred and seventy five dollars, that's more money than her like food and beverage surely, yeah, who's paying three hundred and seventy five dollars?
Yeah?
What are you getting for? Like? And I just again, I don't want to make this all about me, but I had a pretty expensive wedding back It didn't cost me three hundred and seventy five dollars ahead for just the food and their bridge and the seat at the table. Don't get me wrong, Like I'm sure that once we calculated out decorations and venue and all of that, but like, you're already going to be paying those overheads irrespective of whether Becketten's or not. Yeah, so, like, what's the deal?
That's so true? Yeah, I don't know.
Objectively, No, in this situation, absolutely not, But yeah, I think.
So how do you have that conversation? Though? Like that's awkward, So let's make the community answer. Yeah, okay, Yes, I was like, you don't have to do this. We asked the community. We said, let's talk wedding etiquette. What do you think is okay and what isn't okay to do in this situation? So lots of diverse responses, as always, which is one of my favorite things. Both people knew the potential risks of not being able to attend. It's
out of the friend's control. But isn't it nice that her friend tried her hardest to be there to begin with?
Yeah?
I agree. The next is if I was canceling for a different reason, I'd expect to pay, but not in this case. Someone said, all couples need to factor in that these things can happen at their wedding life happens, it's not your guest's fault. Someone else said she replied yes with the info she had at the time. It's not like she was being malicious. The bride needs to get over it.
M hmm.
The next is if canceling was a big deal, they should have made that really clear earlier on that it wouldn't be acceptable. It's a good point. Also, if someone said v by the way, I know you' virus vp'd yes to my wedding, but it's a really big deal. If you counsel later like I'm going to charge you, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, I'd be like better RSVP. No, now there, it's just in case, Like, it's just better for me not to
be in this situation like wild. Someone said, my partner offered to pay for his place when he had to cancel it the last minute. A month is not last minute. Yes, you know what if I was canceling my friend's wedding last minute and being like I can't come anymore, I would offer, but I would also assume that my friend would probably decline that offer. I think it all gets lumped in together. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's right or wrong.
Here.
Someone said, the friend handled it great. The bride is being ridiculous. The bride could invite someone else. She has plenty of time. Back to your plenty of time. It's a month. Yeah, it's a month. Seriously, And like with weddings, I don't know how big her wedding is. Let's pretend she invited absolutely every single human that she knew. In that case, big wedding that cost shouldn't be as big
as you're making it out to be. Or if you're real savage and had to cull last minute, Hey, beck, I know you didn't make the cart, but a spot has popped up and you are the person I thought of. That's still really nice exactly.
Or there's going to be at least one person at least who's like, I actually don't know anyone this wedding. I'd love to bring a plus one, so there's someone there that's dying for a plus one.
Someone said, what is good notice? Then if a month isn't enough, Yeah, exactly, Like how much notice do I have to give people for stuff? Someone said, pregnant friends should not be reimbursing. She has a child on the way. She does not need that stress and she tried her hardest. Someone else said the brightest spent the money. Regardless of whether that guest comes or not. All she's losing is a friend. Yeah. I think that's a good place to
leave it. We also surveyed you guys, so normal comments, but these are the questions Beck that we asked the community. We said, would you ask guests to pay if they canceled their attendance to your wedding close to the date. Sixty seven percent said definitely, not, thirty percent said it really depends on how close to the date it was, and two percent said yeah, I would. So it's the minority of people who think that you owe. Yeah, definitely,
I would deal with it. However, you feel most comfortable if that means that you don't pay. If that means that you do pay, I don't know. I find that really ridiculous as well. And to be honest, as someone who has had a wedding and completely understands finances, the wedding was my choice, and I knew that there would be some kind of you know, outcome that meant I'd be losing money in some way, shape or form on
my wedding. Whether that was things I purchased that I didn't use on the date, or people not turning up or people breaking something, or you know, there's like lots of things that could happen that you know, financially impact you. And I think when you're planning a wedding, you need to plan for these things. And it's not on your friend who's literally about to pop to cough up three hundred and seventy five dollars.
I completely agree, it's really meant to ask for that even but yeah, absolutely answer it, or you know, go back to your friend in a way it's more comfortable and just communicate. It's actually always our antlize. Communication is key, But do not pay that three hundred and seventy five dollars.
Oh bexx advice. All right, we'll leave it there. Have a good week, guys, and we'll see you right and early on Monday for money diaries.
Bye, guys.
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