A Friend In Need, Or A Friend Deceived?

Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr

Let's get into it. She's on the Money.

She's on the Money.

Hello, and welcome to She's on Them, the podcast with millennials who want a financial freedom Today. My friends, guess what it is Friday again, which means it is time to get my little team together to celebrate you our incredible.

She's on the Money community, Miss Jess Gric is here.

She's going to be sharing our money wins and confessions from the community.

Beck say ed, You've got a.

Few breake tips for us which you've gate kept all day up until now, so I have literally no inslash as to whether they're going to be good or not. We're going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about investing in commercial or residential properties as a first time investor, And we're going to be unpacking something you slid into our DMS about which this week we're talking about helping a friend pay for mental health support.

So before we.

Get there, I want to know how have your weeks been? Beck Stop trying to get Jess to answer first.

I need time to think. No, my week has been really really good. I feel so productive, you know, like at the start of the year. Like what I did was like I feel like a lot of people are, you know, doing the calendar, being the diary, and I was riding down all these like little goals and I've so far stuck to them. Like I guys noticed that you saw me like touching my try set before. I'm like, oh, my goodness, I feel so good.

Like swoll Oh that's a word that I haven't heard on this podcast before.

True.

Yeah, well maybe we could swap that for so Becky's feeling swollen. I'm going to start using swollen because have you seen that ad? You know how every year in January lamb Australia drops their lamb ad.

Yes right.

I feel personally victimized by that video because they've got this whole lamber and if you haven't seen it, just google it because it is quite funny. Like I think my favorite part of it is your phone lights on talking about the grandparents. But they're like stereotype millennial, also using the word slay, and I.

Was like, I need to see myself out, not googe.

But classic product of the millennium.

I was like, I feel attacked.

It's Jessicchie, what have you been doing this week? What do you mean when you want to talk about your bad luck strength? I know you know what I feel like. People are probably sick of hearing me feel sorry.

What happened this week?

My cat knocked over a mirror and I'm worried that that's going to bring significantly more bad luck. I was just telling the girls, I'm not a superstitious person. It's not normally my stick, but I have had such a bad run of it that when the mirror fell over, I was immediately googling how to reverse the bad luck.

And I went I me and you were like, guess what I'm doing?

I went outside. I threw some salt over my shoulder, and I spun in a circle anti clockwise three times because the Internet told me that would hope to do.

You think it worked?

Nothing bad touch wood has happened, desk is would Nothing bad has happened yet, so TBS. But you know, it's been a sunny week. We're hanging out with the girlies. I get some lunch together later. It's on the up and up. We're looking for the positive.

Nothing bad happened since Jessica spun anti clockwise in three circles and threw salt over her shoulder. So that's the secret secret to success.

Wow, how's your weeking?

I spent a lot of this week horizontal. Yeah, like working with a laptop on my stomach because just life is getting uncomfortable.

Yeah.

I'm committed though, so like I'm not going anywhere. I'm here on the podcast. Unlucky for you guys, people keep asking me when are you taking Matt leave? And I'm like, I guess when I go into labor because I won't have any other choice. Kind of got to test her and my team are like, when do we get rid of her? That we'd have a date to look forward to, and I'm like, haha, joke's on you. I could have this baby next week and it be fine, or in six weeks.

You're never gonna know.

I think I just live in constant fear that at any second you could just start having the baby, and that like that is what I'm looking for, Like it's not you going away, it's just me no longer living in fear that at any given point in time a baby could just shoot on out.

And I do no, no, but pretty.

Calm in a crisis.

I'm actually quite good unless it's her crisis.

Yeah, unless it's my internal mental crisis or that's her off. But no, like I think I would be okay.

Yeah, Victoria, right now water breaks starts going to labor you, I feel like you would be really good.

I mean, the thing is obviously you're immediately on the phone to the ambulance and just took you through it. Nah, you don't like just because your water breaks depends how close to your contractions.

Are, Okay, do you know?

Do you know what I find really funny because you have freaked out about this Gabby who works for she's on the money and has been on the pod before she's worked this out. One of her girlfriends is a midwife. She's full of been like, well, what happens if he goes into labor?

What do I do?

And like her housemate has like prepped her for this. Oh, I think it's so funny because I'm so chill about it. Like I think I'm the most chill person in the entire team about it.

I'm like, Oh, if you'll be fine, you'd be fine.

My husband's really worried because obviously be Jess and I are going to the Taylor Swift concert together.

Yes, this has to be when.

I am thirty nine weeks pregnant. I regret nothing about this decision.

Baby's first concept, baby's.

First babies' contant.

So I'm excited about it.

My husband was a little like, well, what happens if you go into labor? I'm like, dude, the MCG isn't much closer to the hospital that we're going to than our house. Is so chill, I'll meet you there.

I can get a new bar. I'm a completely self sufficient, independent woman, were.

I feel like should be partial to assisting with the birth.

I draw the line naming my baby Taylor though, Yeah, oh.

Like absolutely, I means respectful to the queen.

I'm not to be disrespectful to the queen. And the name Taylor is not even a bad name, like, that's not why. It just feels a little bit too swifty, too swifty.

We can't exactly doing that exactly, so for a boy or a girl, we don't know the gender.

Try I love an androgynous name. I'm back on board, all right, I'm sorry.

Sorry, let's move on, though.

I want to know more about the community, less about me going into apparently.

Spontaneous labor that is going.

To happen really quickly, so quickly that the paramedics will not be able to make it, but just has to deliver my baby.

My mind is literally like, oh my god, I'm pregnant.

Shock, nothing pregnant.

It's also quicker because you mean, like you, I think you were to say I'm in labor.

I'm sure, but you.

Said I'm pregnant. That is incredibly fine, but that's usually how it works.

Moving on.

I don't have a birth plan. I have birth preferences, right, and I can go into that on socials or something if people are actually interested. But there's a reason Jess and Gabby are not involved, like they're not part of the preferences. In fact, my preference would be to not have them there because I feel like they'd both be like running around like headless chickens, going.

What do you need? What do you need? To leave me alone?

Sure?

Coincidentally, it is also our preference to not be there for everybody should.

Go winky dig right, what has the community got to share with us?

All right? My first money in this week comes from Hannah, who said money win. Using chat GPT to do a meal plan for my family of three, two adults and one team. I requested a budget of one hundred to one hundred and twenty dollars for five dinners with five adult portions extra lunches for the next day. I just did the shop at Audi and it came in at one hundred and ten dollars for all of the ingredients.

About to say I have been using it recently with Jess, but we've been using the Microsoft co Pilot and we were like, we need to create some content for socials and we're like, well, let's actually make it good because obviously, but like we just told them what we have in our pantry and what was in my pantry, and it like full spat out a recipe the instructions, you know what additional things I might need, and I replied a couple of times being like, oh, I don't have that,

Sligh. Really cool what you can do with AI nowadays, and awesome that you can use free platforms. I know that some of the chat GPT and you have to pay for the Microsoft one's free chat GPT might have a free element, but it's free tools that you can use to save yourself money, which is sick.

And it's kind of like I have explained it to a couple of friends who are like, oh, I just don't know if it'll work or not. I'm like, think of it as an unpaid intern that's just started and knows nothing about the process, so like feed it the information like, okay, Beck, today, I want you to create me a recipe and it needs to be a recipe using only items in my pantry, and I have like

Oh it didn't work.

I asked for a recipe and it like spat out, you know, three random things. I'm like, oh no, this is an unpaid intern who's never had a job before, doesn't know how to do anything.

You need to spoon feed them.

And then you can tweak so like it comes back with something in the recipe that you don't want or you don't have. You can go back and be like, please regenerate this response, but exclude the cream because I don't need it, and then it will literally do it again, or go oh, have you got a more budget friendly option for the sake that you recommended?

And I think that's it. It's just fun. It's really cool.

It's like an ongoing conversation and you don't have to keep saying sorry for asking so many questions because they're ai.

Yeah, for their job.

Still pressure to be like thank you so much and oh no, pressure. You don't have to answer this.

It was really find when the microsoft to instinctively say please and thank.

You, but I did anyway, and Jess was like, why are you introducing yourself? And I was like, hello, I am trying to make dinner tonight, just like I don't think they care about.

Your and how are you like?

Sit down? I look at this recipe. Its lips so good.

Next, I've got a money win from Olivia who said I found this on a local by swap and sell group for my daughter. It was thirty dollars and it still had the tags on it for two hundred and seventy.

Is this the jacket? The jacket jacket?

Cool Juli down to thirty love a bus.

That's a money win.

That is a money win. Next, I've got one from Sophie who said money win. I started a new job in August and I haven't even passed my probation yet and I just found out I got a five percent salary increase money win effective first of January. Happy new year to me, huge.

Congrats, congrats.

Then I like that it's effective first of January because that means some backpay guys.

Yeah, I love a bit of back pay.

Then I've got a win from Victoria excellent name who said, Victoria, I was going to buy your book as I just had an offer on a property excepted thanks to Queen Nikki Atsella. And my money win is that it was actually free included in my Spotify subscriptions. And she was very kind and she said, v I hope you get royalties otherwise I will buy it.

I don't actually know how it works, but I'd much prefer you to just read my book then pay me, to be honest. And if you get the free audio book like slag I heard someone real cool Reddit.

Yeah, so if you want to pay a forward share of screenshot on stories, we'll tell your friends about it exactly. That is just as helpful. Save yourself those dollars.

Queen, Yes, save the money.

Put it towards your house because in this economy, I'm really sorry, I gonna need it.

Congratulations though, that is so exciting, Victoria out. Next, I've got money in from Alissa, who said money win. I asked both my parents' households just before Christmas if we could have their bottles and cans for Victoria's new deposits scheme. They collected them over the past month or so alongside ours, and we cashed them in yesterday and we got thirty seven dollars for them. Just hours alone came to three bucks. So it paid to ask others who were just going to throw them out anyway.

Money win. Jess what happens when you leave my house?

I take every can that I can find. Victoria says, I have a present for you, and it's a bag full of cans.

Save bottles and like coke bottles and stuff. I've been keeping it in the bttom of my pantry and I'm.

Like, I've got this for you.

Best present. That's lucky, very fun. And then lastly, I've got a money in from Casey who said money win. I needed some extra cash for my wedding and I was making these crayon names for my nieces as a part of their Flower Girls gift. I ended up having a bunch of leftover crayons and I reached out to our neighborhood group and I made sixty two dollars selling them. So far.

Crayons cool like crayon name.

Yeah, this is a really fun activity with your kids. If you have like broken crayons or if you buy. You can buy them at the shop often, you know, the just mixed up ones that have been donated and you melt them and then you pour them into chocolate malts and then you have all of these fun letters. That cool. They're like usable crayons, but they're really beautiful gifts as well.

That's actually really cool and also just reminds me why I have already nominated before my baby's.

Born that jess is craft aren't.

Yeah, yeah, I will happily teaste.

A bonnet you need one. I won't be making it so fu My.

Friend is a teacher actually did make her lit quite literally. It had lights that switched on.

My kid is going to be the coolest kid ever, and I'm going to be like it was.

Yes, I'm very excited. That's all for me this week.

Guys.

All right, Beck, what have you got when it comes to broke tips? These better be good? My expectations, thank you. She's been hyping them up and gatekeeping them, so they better be good.

I do hype them up, and then when we get around to it, I mean, like the community ones are always good and my ones always just so funny and silly. But I think this one this week is actually going to be kind of good.

I'm excited.

Okay, So the first one comes from Georgie, who says that Target right now has heaps of stuff on sale because it's merging with km Art. I didn't realize that was a thing. Did you guys do that was a thing.

Yes, I've seen it on social media, not fully, I don't think. But they're replacing a lot of the home weares with the Kmart Homeworks brand. There's been a lot of outrage. Yeah, because people love Target home weares.

I love Target home Wear.

But I saw someone say it was like seventy percent off a lot of the time.

I saw a couple of tiktoks actually where a lot of things were like marked down to two dollars, Like this girl got a whole suit. It was like pants, the vest, and the jacket for six dollars in total.

It almost it's just too silly.

I think it's wild. But they're actually clearing a lot of stock. Insider info.

Don't ask me where I got this from Georgie.

Yeah, maybe from Georgia. Let's call it from Georgie. They aren't just replacing all of Target's stuff with Kmart.

Stuff they have merged.

They actually were always owned by the same people, which is West Farmers Group, or own both CAMA and Target, or you might be surprised to hear that they also own like office works and Bunnings and.

Stuff like that.

They actually are a very very large organization.

But they are taking a lot of the product lines that don't sell as well in Target and replacing them with kmart because it does. There might be different products across the stores, but obviously they've got their factories that Ancho, so they're.

Bringing that in.

But surely they are keeping a lot of the main product lines that sell really well. Because I was really worried, honestly about the baby onesies because like.

Cute onesies, organic cotton.

I can't find anything nicer than that that feels as good at that price point. And I was like, don't take them away, They're not going to Sorry, amazing, It's not everything, like targets are not becoming kmarts, But I feel like a lot of people have just assumed because it does look like.

That, Yeah, just three targets trying to find some bargains that already been cleaned out.

Well, try and try again, they say.

For a two dollars.

Suit, I'll try one that is so silly. I love it. But yeah, like maybe go to like, you know, country towns and stuff.

I feel like those targets, Yeah, probably don't go to like the Chadston.

They don't go to Chadston, go anywhere else.

They've been cleaned up.

Okay, So this next one comes from Indy, who says that if you live near a UNI, make the most of the free food at O Week which is coming up soon. It's great idea.

It's actually very smart.

Yes, totally, Like, even if you don't live near a UNI, if you're like gonna get free food, just make this.

You're like, go to UNI even though you're not gonna go to UNI.

Yeah, like you don't have to be going to UNI to be getting that free food. I imagine I.

Would feel very But I mean, here, do you all right that?

I think that's smart.

I think it's smart. And what if you just want to go there for info you also get a free food. Great idea, Indie, Thank you so much. That is mean. I might even do that. We make a David. Okay, So mine comes from I don't know if you guys have heard of this God named Viv. Her Instagram handle is viv loves to Eat. She shared a post about this is the name of the cafe five bucks schmuck in Thornberry. That sounds fun it is. There's no catch.

Making any money.

Well, this is why I say no catch, because, like she posted in the actual like you know, caption, that the owner just wants to do something nice to the community.

Oh what a wholesome which is really really so.

I don't think that the whole menu is five dollars, but it's a dedicated, you know thing that that's cool. You can get like you know, a roll or a croissant or something like that. That's you know, it's not they're not losing money, you can tell, but it's still like they could be charging you way more, but you're still getting a good feed.

Out of it.

I paid nine dollars for alm and croissan on the other.

Day daylight robbery.

That's my one. There's probably an adjacent or an equivalent in your state, your city, your suburb, if you're in Melbourne, just maybe.

Please share it with the sheese on the money community if these because we gonna need it.

Yeah, yes absolutely, but for now five bucks, monks.

I cannot think for the last time a meal cost me five dollars out Yeah same.

Maybe penny pinchers of Magas.

Even then I'm always like, can I please have a large?

Go eight dollars?

Still.

I ordered a happy Meal the other day and it was always the same price as a normal meal.

Shocked, it is actually a small cheeseburger meal.

Yeah, you look like a happy meal order.

I know happy meals.

If I'm coming in and I'm like, do you want lunch and she's like, yeah, I don't know anything, will do Like, I guarantee I'll walk in with a happy fast for the toy not the book, by the way. No, all right, let's go to a really quick break on the flip side. We're going to be talking about investing in commercial or residential properties as your first investment, and we're going to unpack something that you slid into our

So don't go anywhere guys.

Welcome back everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.

Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here to help.

Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find your on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.

Hi, ladies, I have a caerer I'd like your advice on. My partner and I are in our earliest to mid twenties and have decided we'd like to start saving up

I have a lot of thoughts about first properties and you are correct. If you looked at the rental yield of a residential property versus a commercial property. More often than not, commercial property has a higher rental yield.

The problem there is.

That if you are chasing yield, that is usually going to come at a higher cost.

Right.

So let's just pretend you're spending five hundred thousand dollars on your first two bedroom apartment to get a comparable rental yield in a commercial property, you're probably looking closer to a million dollars worth of investment. We also really need to talk about the risk that is involved with investing in commercial versus residential property, and that is usually how long that property is left vacant and you are up for that mortgage without any kind of you know, help from a tenant.

Right.

So in Melbourne we know that rental tendancy sucks at the moment. Like, if you've got an apartment and it is up for rent, you are in a prime position because there are a lot of people who want properties

Yes, you might have longer li periods.

So typically if you're signing onto a commercial lease, it's not just like a one year lease.

It might be a minimum of five years.

It could be ten, twenty, or even thirty years as a lease. And that's all well and good and fine, but the vacancy rate can be significantly higher because you know, it's obviously harder to find somebody who wants your specific space in your specific area to run their business. So you might even end up with a vacancy rate of like six months or fifty percent of the year it is not rented out. And so you've got a factor

What does equity in the property look like.

We know in the Melbourne residential market equity has somewhat increased for people. I feel like the property market has kind of like stagnated, given we went through COVID and now we're going through a cost of living crisis. But the probability is that the asset is probably going to

What I have seen.

Doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, absolutely not like it might really align to your goals, like you might actually go gin I don't want to deal with everyday tenants. I want to strip this out completely and make all of this, you know, my new tenants problem to furnish

Yeah, I imagine like and this is obviously not coming from an expert opinion, but I imagine that the cost of upkeep, like you know, like getting a trade out to fix like a block toilet, wouldn't cost as much as a potential something in a whole factory. You know what I mean, I don't know.

Well, in a factory, it's actually on the tenant, so I happens. Yeah, it's on the tenant, and the tenant will usually pay for complete fit out as well. So like you would lease them, you're completely bare factory, but you don't have as much responsibility as a residential landlord.

Go that that's your problem.

You know, if you want stairs put in over here, or you want you know, an office built in here, that's on you. But given it is actually a little bit more difficult to attract tenants to commercial properties, what you often have to do is also incentivize it.

And I've signed a number of leases.

I've never owned commercial property, I've always leased it, and I've signed a number of commercial property tendency agreements, and often I'll ask for incentives upfront. Like Jess, you probably remember this when I was signing our last office, I was like, well, how many months at the start can I get free? What are the bonuses can I get? Like, you know, there's a fit out there, can I have that? Or you know, do I have to buy my own?

To commercial versus residential.

Whereas you know, we've spoken a lot about Jess going through, Oh the ceiling's leaking. If I was commercial, I'd be like, well, Jess, go and fix the ceiling.

Then hey, sound a lot.

Like are your problem?

I was like, a just to get a problem.

Yeah, if you look at putting that much out, maybe it might be worth chatting to a financial advisor. Would be the only thing that I have to contribute there if you're putting that much into him, Like I talked a lot as well.

Sorry, I don't be sorry. Do you want to talk about the ass by CDM?

Yes? Weeks?

All right?

So this week we got a DM and it sounded like this.

Actually the batim it was this message, are you ready ready, high team, I've got a DM for you?

Really?

A close friend of mine has been really struggling with her mental health, so I suggested she looked into getting some help and seeing a psychologist. She said she can't afford it at the moment, so I offered to pay you for some sessions, as I wanted to help her in any.

Way I could.

I've currently paid for her first three appointments, which were around ninety dollars each.

Now here's the issue.

I just found out she spent four hundred dollars on drugs for a festival she was going to, and I'm really upset by this. I was more than happy to help her out. But if she can afford drugs, then she can afford to pay to see the psychologist. How do I go about asking for my money back but also ensuring she continues to get the help that she needs.

I'm really not sure what to do. Any help is really appreciated.

Before we get into it, I feel like we have to say we're gonna be discussing the drug use. We do not condone or encourage the use of recreational drugs, but it is a part of the story. We're gonna chat about it.

Yeah, Like no judgment from me, Like it's a choice somebody else has made and that's fine, but yeah, it's not an endorsement.

Yeah, and if you do need any resources regarding something like that, we will pop some links in the shows that you can access and have look through. Obviously we're a supportive safe space, but it's just something that we have to say.

Yeah. Absolutely.

I also think it's relatively interchangeable as well. Like stepping back before I actually start answering this question, like if you've paid ninety dollars a session for your friend to go get help on something, it could have been like her going out to fancy restaurants and spending four hundred bucks and I thought you said you had no money for like recreational activities, or you know, they might have decided to just go to a festival and spend four

And that's absolutely fine.

But I think i'd be equally as frustrated if, you know, I helped out a friend and found out they're just blowing four hundred dollars a week on going.

To the club.

Like irrespective, but moving forward, what do you guys think?

I think like if I was maybe I don't know, if my friend was like saving up for a festival and that I guess, like, you don't really just blow that, Like that's kind of something that you prepare for ahead of time, paying for like sarch sessions and stuff like that. I'm going to like mentally put that in a different category and say that the actual spending of that much money on whatever it could have been, we just don't know, like it could have been something that she had really

Yeah, I agree. I think that you've done a really kind, generous thing. You obviously care about your friend, you want to put them first. I understand what you mean about, like, someone may choose to prioritize something else over their mental health, and that is their prerogative. I think for me, the fact that it is drugs is kind of a little

You know.

Having seen you behave this way or do these things has really made me feel like you value your money over mine, or you know, something like that, and explaining to her. Maybe she doesn't see it from that perspective, but in terms of getting it back, I don't know that you will. And it's hard. When you love someone, you want to support them, you want to resource them, you want to do it whatever you can to make

I feel like I have been the friend that has wanted to do this before. I can't say I've paid for someone's psych appointments, but I definitely have given money to friends or people I know in the hope that it fixes them or changes them.

And this is just in hindsight.

I'm not thinking that in the moment, just trying to be generous and like look after them. However, in I guess retrospect, when you look back on that, I feel like when you do that.

You're kind of tunnel visioned.

You're not going, oh, this is gonna you know, actually have to play into their value system and their priorities and where they're at mentally. I kind of go, well, if I pay for your sych sessions, that'll help you get better, full stop, end of story. And I think that you know, when you probably offered, you didn't put

What if I pay for that.

I just really want you to be in the best possible position, and Jess, you go, oh, well, actually that would be really kind because in the back of your mind, just like just using just as an example, in the back of your mind, you you really do want to change, you do want to get better. But the overarching thing is that ultimately your priority is are not there yet. You might not be willing to get help. You might

My nails and I'm like.

Like, and I had every intention of doing the right thing, Like I bought the fancy nail polish I did, you know, looked up on YouTube how to do a meditation about not biting my nails, and like, you have all the gung ho at the start, but maybe you fall off the bandwagon because maybe you're just not ready for change. Maybe you're not ready to you know, take on mental health help. And I think that there's a lot to say about that, because also it is really hard to

No, I won't say, a waste of.

Time, but it can be a bit of a waste of your money if you're like, I'll go those sych sessions, but I'm definitely not going to implement anything they do. And like, you know, let's pretend that the and this is a wild speculation, Let's pretend that your friend needs psych help because they maybe have lost their way and they are doing a lot of drugs and you thought that you could sweep in and that would be like the magical key that opens the world to a new kingdom for them.

They're not ready for that.

And like maybe they're not ready to hear from a psychologist and maybe they're even going to those sessions and being like, yep.

I'm getting help. No worries. So, Meredith is next weekend, I've got four hundred bucks in my account.

I'm just going to spend it on that because it becomes a need, right, So I think we need to step back and look at.

The psychology behind. Well, why did you want to do that?

Like, obviously you wanted to put your friend in the best possible position. But by doing that, were you acknowledging whether your friend was in the position to change yet or not, or were you trying to push them down a path that maybe they weren't ready to walk.

Does that make sense?

Because really I just look at it and I go, well, if someone else is not ready for it, they might be super motivated. And you know what, your friend probably had the best of intentions when accepting your help. Like how beautiful if I turned around said to bet you Beck, there's this thing that you need and you're telling me you can't for I would love to make sure that you get that.

You'd be like, oh theah you like that's so generous and so kind. I would love to do that.

I don't think your friend ever set out to disrespect you or the money that you have spent. I think that clearly there's a lot going on here. But also the second layer to question, how do I ask for my money back?

I would say, you don't.

It was a gift.

Yeah, yeah, it was a gift, and you gave it to them with no intention of saying, actually, there are some stipulations on this. If you cross a boundary ABCD, E or F, I will be asking you for the money back, because I can almost guarantee if I said, hey, Beck, I'm willing to help get that thing, and you go yeah, great, great, great, and I go. But also if you do ABC or D,

Does that make sense?

I sally agree.

There's like such a strongle or there can be such a strong link between drug use and mental health too, Like we don't really drig a context to whether it's consistent usage or whether it's just oh, I was at a festival and that's what people would do, but we don't really have we have NOD. But if they are having ongoing mental health struggles, like that could lean into why they choose to do that, which again is just like an extra layer of complexity that you're not really equipped to handle.

And also it doesn't make them a bad person. Yeah, Like change is really hard, like human beings at a base primal level, do not like change because change is risk, and risk means I could be in trouble. So you know, it's the devil you know versus the devil you don't, right, So I think we need to acknowledge that change is really hard, and it's hard, it's slow, it's part of the process. I think that you know, there's actually a lot to this. I'm just so glad that your friend

And maybe your friend will.

Actually go, oh my god, I'm actually so embarrassed about this situation, Like it's one of those sleeper it could be a really beautiful learning experience for both of you.

Totally, and just to like add to that as well, like I obviously don't have enough context here and what your friend's going through, but in that moment, trying to frame it as something that she shouldn't be ashamed of, shouldn't be embarrassed about that kind of thing, because that could really make someone spiral. Even myself as someone who I wouldn't consider having any very serious mental health issues, something like that would make me spiral into oblivion. So

Yeah, so we got heaps of responses on this.

A lot of them were saying, look, your money's gone, you're not getting it back. It's whether you who's a friend now too or not, which I thought was a really good point.

Yeah.

A lot of people were saying, look, I just wouldn't pay for any more sessions moving forward again, wouldn't ask for the money back. A lot of people said, she really needs to help herself. It's actually not up to you, like you don't have that power, which is really sad as someone like me who sometimes always wants to come in and.

Fix everything, but it's true.

A lot of people then said, you know, sit down and have an open conversation with her, talk to her about it, openly, have a frank conversation. A lot of people wanted to let us know about the ten times I think it's twelve times Medicare rebate psychology sessions if you go to your GP and get a mental health care plan. I do also want to acknowledge that that is getting harder and harder to access nowadays. So it's hard nowadays, especially in Victoria. I know in Queensland it's

I'm not saying that's a bad thing.

They cost of living, crisis paying their staff, all of that, like it has to come into it, but Medicare is not keeping up and finding a GP that has no gap is getting increasingly hard. If you found a GP that has no gap and you just can claim it all or medicare. It's even harder to find a psychologist that operates under having no gap. If they do exist, they usually have a really long weight period. So I don't want you guys to think, oh, they just say

Yes, you need immediate help.

I totally get that, and we're going to put a whole heap of tools and resources in our show notes for you that involve immediate help. But if you want to get onto a mental health care plan, I wouldn't shy away from the weight I'd sign up. And you know what can I do in the interim? How can I you know, build towards that because it could be invaluable to changing your life in a way that you want it to Again, lots of people are saying, look, it's really hard, but I would accept it as a

That's not that common.

Usually there's like lots of like spicy opinions like oh, you should tell your friend off, or should cut them out if you do this, you should do that. Everyone here in our DMS this week has been so empathetic and kind. Wow, that's so lovely, which honestly we kind

So that's probably a good place to leave it. Guys. Anyway, have the best week.

We will see you bright and early on Monday morning for a Money Diaries.

See you later, Bye, guys.

Bye.

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