It’s been (nearly) five years since we started the podcast and, while we’ve been on a shamefully long hiatus, we thought it would be just about time we reflected on what exactly we’ve learned about sex and relationships. We discuss how our perception of sex, relationships, and friendship have evolved from the start of our 20s to our mid-20s (ew), from going after lots of sex at university for validation and attention, to discovering how sex fits into our lives as adults in evolving relationships...
Mar 25, 2025•50 min•Season 3Ep. 22
Sextras is back! Once again it's been a while but we promise it's for good reason and we get into why in this little catch up episode. We start with the headlines, namely revealing a new relationship, the challenges of living with a partner, moving out of a family home, and the fact that neither of us are unemployed any longer. Honey discusses moving out of her family home for the first time at 24, the shame of still living at home in your 20s and how relationships with your family change once y...
Jun 04, 2024•50 min•Season 3Ep. 21
Our masculinity miniseries has been a little negative up until now (we’re aware of it at least!). But this week that all changes because we’re joined by Ben Hurst – activist, educator, and Head of Facilitation and Training at Beyond Equality – to discuss how we can rethink masculinity. As someone who regularly works with young boys in schools, we talk to Ben about what representation boys see of masculinity. In his Ted Talk, notes that boys will be what we teach them to be, so we talk about what...
Nov 21, 2023•53 min•Season 3Ep. 20
Christmas could not have come sooner with this episode as Lovehoney has sent us their 24-Day Advent Calendar to try and we’re opening it with their resident sexual wellness advisor, Sarah Tomchesson! We start the episode telling Sarah what we’re experimenting with in our sex lives, before diving into the calendar to find different sex toys, from vibrators, to butt plugs, cock rings and restraints. Sarah talks us through how to use different sex toys in versatile ways, whether you’re a beginner o...
Nov 17, 2023•44 min
In the second episode of our Masculinity miniseries, we unpack everything to do with male friendships. While it comes as no surprise to some of us, the fact that men don’t have supportive friendships has been in the news a lot of late, with claims that there’s a male friendship recession and that men are lonelier than ever. After years of wondering what men talk to their friends about, we thought we’d find out for ourselves. In the process, we’ve probably lost all of our (admittedly, very few) m...
Nov 13, 2023•50 min•Season 3Ep. 19
Welcome to the first episode of our Masculinity miniseries! Masculinity has been under scrutiny the last few years: on one side, there are claims that masculinity is “toxic”, “fragile” or “in crisis”, and on the other there are those who claim “not all men” are responsible for this poor perception of masculinity. While we fully support bad behaviour being held to account here at Sextras, we wanted to discuss what masculinity really means to gen z in 2023. Is masculinity good or bad? Is it always...
Nov 06, 2023•49 min•Season 3Ep. 18
In even the most accepting of households, children pick up on their parents’ beliefs about sex. If that includes restricting sex or teaching that it is inherently bad, that can lead to sexual shame that persists throughout our lives and shows up not just in our sex lives, but also in our entire emotional wellbeing. This week, we’re joined by spiritual and sexual psychologist Kaamna Bhojwani to talk about healing sexual shame through spirituality. Kaamna starts by telling us what sexual shame is,...
Sep 25, 2023•40 min•Season 3Ep. 17
Have you ever had sex so good you wish you could freeze the memory in time? This week we’re joined by Carly Pifer, founder of Aurore, a curated collection of erotica written by and for women and LGBTQIA+ people, that encourages you to do just that by writing a story based on your real sex experiences. Carly tells us how she started Aurore and how erotica is different from other kinds of porn. Whereas visual porn can be limited in terms of the body types, genders and positions involved, erotica l...
Sep 04, 2023•41 min•Season 3Ep. 16
There are so many stereotypes about Gen Z it’s hard to keep track of where they’re really at: they’re a sexless generation, they’re the most sensitive because they have a victim mentality. They want to be parents, they don’t want to have babies because they’re worried about the planet; they’ll be the best parents… oh no, wait, they’ll be the worst. But parenting has changed a lot over the years and what went for one generation can completely change for another. With all the unpacking of toxic ma...
Aug 14, 2023•58 min•Season 3Ep. 15
Raising kids is hard in a bunch of different ways, but one of the main things parents dread is having the inevitable “talk” with their children. How do you have the talk, when should you have it, what is appropriate to say: these are all questions that nobody really gives parents the answers to. But what if that one, all-important moment never needed to happen, because kids got the information they needed as they needed it growing up? Author of the incredible resource Shameless Parenting: Everyt...
Aug 07, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Season 3Ep. 14
After having a literal human come out of you, getting little to no sleep and suddenly being entirely responsible for another human being is not exactly conducive to new parents’ sex life. But when you are at a point where you want to start having sex again, what do you do? Cecile Gasnault, brand director of Smile Makers Collection, joins us this week to tell us all about the research the company has done into having sex after birth. Mothers - being the ones who have actually given birth - are of...
Aug 01, 2023•40 min•Season 3Ep. 13
TW: substance abuse, anticipatory grief We’ve all been sold the idea that you’re meant to experiment in your 20s, something that our guest this week missed out on. Author and professor Jessica Hendry Nelson joins us to talk about being in a relationship for the whole of her 20s and eventually ending that relationship because of differing interests. Jessica starts the episode telling us about her unconventional experience of her 20s, living with her ex-husband and the fact that they didn’t talk a...
Jul 25, 2023•58 min•Season 3Ep. 12
In episode one of our Family, Parenting and Sex miniseries were joined by Mariah Freya, who founded pleasure-based sex education website Beducated with her husband, to discuss how our sex lives change throughout our lives. We begin the episode hearing about Mariah’s experience with low libido in her 20s and how that influenced her and her partner to find new ways of approaching sex. Mariah explains that sex education is so rarely focused on women’s pleasure and it wasn’t until she heard about ta...
Jul 17, 2023•44 min•Season 3Ep. 11
In the 100th (!) episode of the podcast, we reflect on why we always talk about sex, consent and relationships. We started the podcast three years ago and what we thought as 20 year olds about how we should talk about sex was very different to now, so we unpack how that's changed. It's obviously been extremely helpful for us to have close friends who talk about sex as much as you want to, but for everyone it's not that easy, so we also discuss why it can be hard to talk about sex but that it’s v...
Jul 14, 2023•39 min
More and more people are pursuing celibacy eras , but what happens when you want to start having sex again? As Honey is clearly incapable of answering that question herself, we're joined by Layla London, anonymous host of the sex podcast the Curious Girl Diaries, who made a sex bucket list and ended her self-imposed celibacy after 3.5 years. We recorded an episode with Layla over on her podcast, which you can listen to here or wherever you get your podcasts. Layla delves into what made her stop ...
Jul 10, 2023•51 min•Season 3Ep. 10
TW: domestic abuse and toxic relationships Spoilers ahead!! We thought we’d celebrate pride month (very last minute, as always) with a discussion of the Ultimatum, Queer Love. In this episode we delve into the drama of the show and unpack why we think each of the couples were doomed to failure. Listen in as we discuss gay marriage, including why people want to even get married in the first place and how the whole premise of the show is extremely queer. We then unpack each of the final couples, a...
Jun 26, 2023•53 min•Season 3Ep. 9
Happy Lesbian Visibility Week! We’re so happy to be back talking all things compulsory heterosexuality and realising you’re a lesbian and we’re joined by the most (!) guests we’ve ever had to hear about their experiences. We start the episode discussing Adrienne Rich’s theory of compulsory heterosexuality, the lesbian masterdoc and how it can help you if you’re wondering how to know if you’re a lesbian, bisexual, pansexual or it’s just compulsory heterosexuality. We tell our own experiences unpa...
Apr 25, 2023•1 hr 4 min•Season 3Ep. 8
Nothing could bring us back from a months-long hiatus faster than Love Is Blind and we are so happy to be back, delving deep into the drama of the season and breaking down each couple. Needless to say: if you haven't watched season 4 of Love Is Blind don't listen to this episode- it will spoil it (or do, if you don't care about that kind of thing). We start the episode covering what the main 'themes' of the season were, from the recurring problems amongst the couples to questions we have about t...
Apr 21, 2023•53 min
In this episode we wrap up the season by looking at our own experiences of pleasure and desire, discussing whether feeling desired and experiencing pleasure are compatible. We look back at what we learnt about pleasure and desire during our miniseries, from where our attraction, fantasies and turn ons come from to learning how to experience and communicate please. We discuss how the way we communicate about sex has changed over the years and if we feel like we’re at a good place in our relations...
Feb 07, 2023•43 min•Season 3Ep. 7
In the next episode of our pleasure and desire miniseries, we’re joined by sex and relationship coach Keeley Rankin to learn how to talk to your partner about what you enjoy during sex. We begin the episode by asking what people commonly struggle with during sex and where people’s fear of communicating about what they enjoy in the bedroom comes from. Keeley explains that often it is a mixture of things that prevent us from being able to talk about sex- first is that we don’t know what gives us p...
Jan 30, 2023•49 min•Season 3Ep. 6
In the second episode of our pleasure and desire miniseries we’re joined by Dr Amir Marashi, MD, FACS, FACOG, Founder of Cerē , the first anatomically aligned vibrator, to talk all about female anatomy and female pleasure. If you’ve not already joined our Patreon , you will want to for this episode so you can watch the full video with Dr Marashi, who has a whole load of models to demonstrate what we talk about throughout the episode! We begin by hearing about how Dr Marashi started learning abou...
Jan 17, 2023•53 min•Season 3Ep. 5
Welcome to our pleasure and desire miniseries! In this episode we’re joined by the wonderful Catherine Roach, professor of gender and cultural studies at the University of Alabama and author of the book Good Sex: Transforming America Through the New Gender and Sexual Revolution to talk all about what society teaches us about pleasure and how beauty standards determine who and what we find desirable. We begin the episode by defining what good sex actually is, does it refer to societal standards f...
Jan 10, 2023•50 min•Season 3Ep. 4
Welcome to 2023! The start of this year marks a lot of changes for us, as Maria is moving to Paris tomorrow so this is our last episode recorded in our beautiful studio :( to watch the episode in full go join our Patreon (you get a ton of other benefits too!) In this episode we decided to have a look back at the things we learnt about sex and relationships in 2022, and what our relationship and sex goals are for the coming year, as well as doing a brief and questionable ins and outs list of our ...
Jan 03, 2023•33 min
Welcome back to the final episode of our friendship miniseries! In this episode we’re joined by female friendship expert and author of Frientimacy, Shasta Nelson to talk all about making and maintaining friends. If you’d rather watch the podcast you can find the whole video episode on our Patreon: https://patreon.com/sextraspodcast?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link We start the episode by asking Shasta why people hav...
Dec 06, 2022•1 hr 8 min•Season 3Ep. 3
Welcome back to our friendship miniseries! This week we started off talking about how to bring up conflict with a friend, and ended up talking about what we look for in friendship. We began the episode asking whether you find it more difficult to bring up problems with a friend or with a romantic partner, and discussing our own experiences bringing up conflict with each other. We then discuss what you should expect from a friend, and when it’s okay to bring things up if you friend isn’t fulfilli...
Nov 29, 2022•52 min•Season 3Ep. 2
JOIN OUR PATREON community to continue getting involved in these conversations and to get access to full raw video footage of each episode and exclusive bonus content: Welcome to our first episode of our first ever miniseries!! This miniseries is all about friendship and we’re kicking it off with an episode about what happens when you’re more than friends with someone. We start the episode with a segment where we ask if you’ve ever caught feelings for a friend and if you’ve ever had sex with a f...
Nov 22, 2022•1 hr•Season 3Ep. 1
Welcome back to Sextras! Your favourite sex and relationship podcast is back for season 3, baby, and to make up for a very long season break we’ve got a catch up episode where we tell you about our summers (and now...autumns) and outline everything that’s happening this season. We’re changing up the format slightly because (as you’ll know if you’re living your 20s with us) things are slightly hectic right now, so we'll be releasing episodes less frequently and in miniseries. We're kicking off th...
Nov 15, 2022•32 min
We thought we’d surprise you with a little bonus episode we recorded a while ago in which we review Love Is Blind and The Ultimatum: Marry Or Move On, shows on Netflix, and talk about what they tell us about dating culture on a wider scale. We give our opinions on the concepts of the shows and the ways people act when put in those positions, and then attempt to answer the larger questions raised by the shows such as if love is blind and if it’s ok to give someone an ultimatum in a relationship, ...
Jul 11, 2022•58 min•Season 2Ep. 31
This episode is our last of the season, so we talk about what we have learnt about relationships this season, our favourite and least favourite moments and answer all of the submissions from our listeners that we have stacked up over the past few months. We begin by giving a run down of the season- which moments stood out to us, what we’ve learnt, how we’ve changed, and spill some tea about the behind the scenes of the podcast. We point you guys in the direction of certain episodes should you be...
Jun 27, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Season 2Ep. 30
We’re finally back with part 2 of season 1’s episode ‘Talking To My Mum,’ where we spoke to Honey’s mum. This week, we’re joined by Maria’s mum, Maria, to hear all about being a mum of four and moving from Mexico to London. We begin the episode by hearing about Maria’s upbringing in Mexico and what sex education in Mexico is like. She tells us about how sex wasn’t even spoken about when she was growing up and how this influenced how she wanted to talk to her own kids about sex and relationships....
Jun 20, 2022•1 hr•Season 2Ep. 29
