Situationally Comedic Persons #11: Game Night

Hi guys, it's Daisy. I can't believe it's already time to wrap up season nine. It is truly flown by. We have only one more episode to go before we end our time with Janice, Rodney, Fren, and the Ertz, and return to our normal anthology content. Well, not quite one more episode before we start season ten. We also have a very special bonus episode written by yours truly coming out next week that I think you'll really enjoy.

If you want to keep abreast of all the developments over here at SCP, make sure you're subscribed to our newsletter at pacificobadia.com. That's all for now. Enjoy the episode. This episode is brought to you by Obsession. Focus features in Blumhouse invite you to the most shocking and unsettling big-screen horror event of the season: Obsession. Everyone wishes for someone to love them, to choose them, to need them. But what happens when you This Friday.

Experienced director Curry Barker's Nightmarish Vision that has critics and audiences absolutely obsessed. It's twisted and sinister, brilliant and insane. You have been warned. Blood soaked nightmare fuel, and with a rotten tomato score of ninety-six percent fresh, it's destined to become an instant horror classic. The best horror movie of the year is Obsession. you wish for. Obsession. Rated R. Under 17, not admitted without parents.

Theaters everywhere this Friday. Get your tickets now with special. Rotten tomato radio. Ладись і гентмен, часто Friend Science! Uh d all of you! Do you want to have a game night at my house tomorrow night? Yes or no? Say yes. But that means That we're going to be able to do that. BOOG! What the Just let it happen. This is nine. Yeah. Just one thing missing, Kurt. What's that, Bird? Uh who me? Oh. Come on! I'm sorry, friend, but uh Can't leave the office.

I would love nothing more than to gather with pleasant company and engage in recreational activities. Oh no! Oh, man. It's alright, friend. I'm here to help. And to be honest, I love it here. I appreciate the invitation. I hope you and your buds have a night to remember. I'll just have to bring you some spaghetti for you to try. That would be lovely. Better go find science lady in that D class. Yes, of course. Game night, huh? Sounds epic. I can't wait. Yeah. Me neither. Shut up!

Yeah. Come on, lady again. I didn't even use the microwave. Uh Uh hey, Janice. I thought I'd find you here. D one two six oh four. Memorize my lunch break? No, I just smelled the tuna salad. Um Yeah, what's up? Look, um there's something I've been meaning to bring up and it's just been hard to find the words. Mm-hmm. Sometimes when two people spend a lot of time together Feelings are bound to develop. And I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us. Okay.

Because you are a great person. Um. But there's someone else. I'm sorry. Wait. I know I should have told you, but frankly I only just realized myself. It's okay, Janice, please. I hope we can still be friends. You need time. Yeah. Um um uh no. Rodney, that's That's okay. I um I appreciate you telling me and Phew. Glad that's behind us. I feel so much better. Yeah, no. Science, lady! D-Class! Woo wouldn't you like to um ha Oh my god, are you okay? Um Janice Rodney Jesus, just Breathe.

Would you like to come over for a game night? Yes or no. Say yes. Oh my god, yes. Love to Do you want me to bring anything? Yeah, I can make a weekend ball. No uh no, that that's all right. I'll I'm gonna make spaghetti. Uh yeah, you know, pasta, homemade tomato sauce. You can cook too? Uh Rodney is uh A beginner, chef. Oh, really? Yeah. Can you teach me how to make p p Pescadi? Tell you what, why don't you come over a little early and I can try and teach you a thing? Really? Yeah sure.

Thank you, friend. I'd love to Yes! Woo! Okay. Awesome. I'll uh I'll see you tonight then. Uh uh Janice uh Sounds great. COOL! Can we go home now? Sure can. And guess who dropped a new episode just in time for the ride home? Oh no! Oh yeah. Deep dives in the middle of the year. I'm your host, Iris Pew.

This workday before the events were investigating. My correct in understanding that Fren here is about to not only make a spaghetti sauce out of SCP five hundred four. Feed it. To other employees of the foundation? Did we have surveillance of this aforementioned game night? We do. Proceeding. And I mean it's fascinating, right? Rubber Sure! And to think they used to use bread crow. Yeah, that's crazy. I wonder what they'll talk about now. I guess we'll just have to wait till tomorrow, huh?

Right. About that Hmm? Okay. And listening to that. Podcast? I think it's time I will Leave your butt, at least for a while. वाट? What are you saying? How can you say that? Look at you. You have four friends! You're going to help. But but I wouldn't have done that without you. You would have gotten there eventually. No, I I don't want to be without you. I'll always be Here for you? In your toilet. Ground? Of course. Promise? Well All right. One more podcast for old time's sake?

Amen. No. It would just make me cry. I understand.

March twelfth, twenty twenty six, five thirty p.m. Greenhouse temperature reads at 82 degrees with humidity at a steady 75%. Tomatoes on the heated soil all share a nice rich red color. Come off the vine very easily. Has a nice give. Average size of the bunch is weighing in at 8.1 ounces. Should require a bit less than usual for my recipe. Hi friend! No good Who are you talking to? Nobody. Just taking notes. Cool. I'm a little early to being early, but I just couldn't wait.

That's all right, Rodney. I tell you what, uh why don't you go pick about ten more of those tomatoes while I gather the garlic and onions? I've never seen raw ketchup before. Well that's not exactly e Uh right. Uh just ten of the O's and we can head inside. Okay. All right, Rodney. You ready? No. Okay. Now we're gonna blanch the tomatoes. How do you spell that? Yeah. B L. A N. Yeah. Uh uh peel it like this. Tomatoes have skin. Just so. Please.

And now we're just gonna Don't don't start to cry'cause then I'm gonna cry and then we'll just be a mess. And we're just gonna put this on low heat. Add the chopped tomatoes, sugar, garlic, herbs, and other spices. Add the beef to a skillet and let it brown. Yeah. It's a cooking term. It means Just till it turns brown. Now make sure to salt the pot with the noodle. Hey, what do you call a fake noodle? I don't know. Why? An imposta I don't know. I must have had this heat a little too high.

No. I could have sworn I heard something outside. Um let me go check. That scared me. Hey! Uh I brought some cookies! Thank you, Janice. Come on in. BAAAAAAA Hey boys, come on in and make yourselves comfortable. Hey guys! Heh I guess we're not at work, huh? Come on. Hi, Roll. Hehehe! All right. Do anyone want wine? Oh yes, please. All right, white or red. What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy? Um well both probably. I see. Sovereign you. Yeah. A nutty swan.

In in all seriousness, white. Three words. A uh a first word. Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm. Twenty seconds. Yes. Brunan. S C P zero eight two? Oh crap, right, security clearance. Whoops. Wait, who's for talking five second battles The salad is two words. It was corn on the cob Alright, Bert. We got this. Okay, ready? GO!

The breast tat that one coffee shop we tried last October that kept calling you Kurt and me Bert and so we decided to keep up the charade and keep pretending to be each other and took each other's drinks even though you don't like chai tea and I don't know either. Yes Thank you. Hey, uh friend, can I use your bathroom? No Oh uh um I I mean I I I forgot to put out some toilet paper in the downstairs bathroom. Why don't you use the upstairs one? First door on your left.

Okay. I guess Daisy here with your outbreak. This episode is brought to you by Obsession. Focus features in Blumhouse invite you to the most shocking and unsettling big-screen horror event of the season: Obsession. Everyone wishes for someone to love them, to choose them, to need them. But what happens when This Friday. Experienced director Curry Barker's Nightmarish Vision that has critics and audiences absolutely obsessed. It's twisted and sinister, brilliant and insane. You have been warned.

Nightmare fuel and with a rotten tomato score of ninety-six percent fresh, it's destined to become an instant horror classic. The best horror movie of the year is Obsession. Be careful with it. Obsession. Rated R. Under 17, not admitted without parents. Everywhere this Friday. Get your tickets now. Rotten tomato richy.

Alright, back to the show. Come on. Uh Jam? Dam that's a good one. You got the double word score. What? What the heck is jambi? You know, when your food gets all squishy after it gets all beat up in your bag, it's jam big. Did you make that up? Made up words don't count, Bert. Ah, jambi is totally a word. Jambi, hambi, bambi, it's a whole word thing. Come on. Don't leave me hanging like a jamby sandwich. Just give me the points. Oh my god. I know.

I loved giving him the points without work no matter how funny it was. What? I mean, in regards to that strange plop that resounded in response to the pun. Oh of course, yes. Unfortunately, it's not the last pun of the evening, and there are plenty of pun-hating tomatoes left in that backyard. Come on, right I'll give you thousand dollars for Saint James Place. Rodney, no don't do it. They're they're gonna win. Look, they already have Tennessee Avenue and New York Avenue.

And to sweeten the deal, I'll give you Baltic Avenue. Hm that's a pretty good deal, Rodney. Are you kidding me? No! That's all they need to win! Alright, Rodney, last chance. How about instead of Baltic Avenue, I give you the railroad? Yeah. NOOOO Don't hate the player, hate the game, which I'm about to win. Whoa. Yeah. Right hand red. I can't reach that fo- Oh no, friend, don't you quit on me! Come on, Bird! Haha Let's go! Yeah. Never have I ever Ha ha ha. My thoughts exactly.

Dido. Well guess it's dinner time. Rodney and I made spaghetti. Oh yeah I'm on a strict seafood diet. Same. I see it and I eat it. What is that?

Yeah, I heard it too. We did. Yeah, I I've been hearing it all night. I'll go check. A friend? What up? Yeah. My tomatoes. My house Who would do something like this? Probably those damn kids in this neighborhood messing around. I just can't believe it. This tomato is anything like the Paschetti you made, it's gonna be incredible. I'm sorry. Why don't we leave it for now and have some dinner? We can clean it later. Yeah, uh let's see.

Whoa, guess the heat may have been too high. Got a little sauce on the lid. Mm. It is good though. Uh can you grab me some bowls from that cupboard, Rodney? Yeah. I'm glad we picked the tomatoes for this sauce before those damn kids got into my greenhouse. Yeah. Well uh I was nervous to ask you all over for this. I'm a bit of a recluse and well have my head and my ass a little bit as to whether we were actually friends or not. Well I'm happy that we are Well me too. Me three.

And despite those kids trying to ruin a perfectly good night, I am determined not to let them. Let's have some spaghetti. This looks incredible, friend. It really did turn out great. I can't wait to make it again. I'm glad. I even set aside some tomatoes for you to take home with you. Aww, thanks, friend. Any time.

Uh you know, they say you can't buy happy. But you can buy spaghetti, and that's pretty damn close. It do you need a nap? Hey, what do you call a messy Pisquetti eater? Um boys? A sauce a holy! You twirl it, don't hurl it, boys. Holy Macaroni Uh What is happening? So this is getting pretty cheesy, don't you think? But don't worry, this too shall pass. We need to stick together like Come on, everyone stop making pasta buns. We're gonna Dreamed here. Time to make like a noodle and splat!

No, didn't like that one. My eye. Well, Well I guess that's a moir age. My science! Close one. What a mess. Fred. What's wrong? Mm. I'm just so tired of there always being a mess. Getting too old for this job, but there's no talk of bringing on anyone else for me to train. It's like I'm being punished for being too good at my job. My knees ache. Back hurts and I can't reach those corners and tough spots quite like I used to. My tomato.

The one thing I could control makes a huge mess of their own that'll take all night to clean. Oh, yeah.

Yeah You will? You don't have to do this alone. Exactly. Yeah. I know what you mean about that. If I didn't have Kurt, I wouldn't get nearly as much too much. A bur not to mention Bertkurt, now that he's there to help. Yeah, Burtkurt is good at everything! What? Uh Burt Kurt's been helping Fren out already, hasn't he? Yeah. What about it? Friend, why don't you just make Burt Kurt your assistant? Officially like four God! That's a great idea! You deserve all the help you can get.

Oh thank you guys. I uh Like you all a lot. We love you too. Oh. Pizza? Yeah. Yeah. It just sounds great. Hey, Teddy, just checking in. Janice, darling, how goes game night? Really good. It was so fun. Kinda got weird at the end. Unhating tomatoes or something? I dunno. Hating tomatoes. Janice, what was that? Because it saw the salad dressing.

This episode, like all episodes, is made possible thanks to our patrons. Today I'd like to thank Alex R, Zino Mecca, Liam Spaulding, The Milkman, and Raven A. Thank you all so much. Your support means the world and makes all of this possible. SCP Archives was created by Pacifica Sobidaya and John Grills. Situationally Comedic Persons was written by Hannah Schoener and Giancarlo Horek.

Bert and Kurt were played by Josh Rabino. Janice was played by Kayla Temchiv. Friend was Erica Sanderson. Rodney was TJ Baer. Home Wood was Jordan Caw. Supervisor 1 was Derek Phelan. Supervisor 2 was Ashley Heather Quill. The educational video instructor was Steven Androsano. Teddy was David Alt. The butt ghost was Isaiah Rothstein. The research assistant was Brandon Wynne, and the podcast host was Faye Roberts.

Our theme song and original music were by Matty Roy Berger. Dialogue editing was by Dana Krießman. Sound design is by Hannah Schooner. Directing was by Gian-Carlo Herrera. I'm your showrunner, Daisy McNamara. Our creative director is Pacific Astobadaya, and our executive producer is Tom Owen. A bloody FM show.